To convince means to prove or disprove a position by logical arguments!!
If your ability to convince people leaves much to be desired, or you can’t manage to convince a person in any way, and each of your meetings “is like a collision of two billiard balls that sharply click and scatter in different directions, without changing their shape or color, and not leaving traces on each other”, then our advice is just for you.
In order to convince a person that you are right, to convince a person to stop drinking, smoking, or to convince a person to buy something, etc., it is necessary to understand that the effectiveness of persuasion largely depends on the appropriately selected argumentation.
Factors that contribute to increasing the effectiveness of arguments during persuasion:
1. The credibility of the source of information, that is, the one who convinces.
2. The importance of the problem itself, that is, the persuasiveness of what is being said.
3. The nature of the group or person being persuaded or persuaded.
When you try to convince a person of something and use various methods of argumentation, the person may treat you with either trust, doubt or distrust.
The value of the personality of the person who convinces
The persuasiveness of the arguments and the credibility of them largely depends on the image and status of the persuasive. It is one thing when a person is authoritative, respected, and another thing when he is not taken seriously. This proves the experiment carried out by scientists.
Several groups of students were asked to listen to an audio recording of a lecture about how young criminals should be treated more humanely.
All groups listened to the same lecture, but the information about the lecturer in each group was different. The first group was told that the speaker was a highly qualified judge and an authority on youth crime. The second group was presented with a neutral version: he is a radio worker. The third group was told that the speaker was a delinquent who was currently on parole.
Understandably, this group got the impression that the lecturer (who is also a criminal) has a personal interest in seeing young criminals treated humanely. The students had to answer how they assess the lecture itself and what their views are on a more humane treatment of young offenders.
The results were as follows: a group of students who believed that the lecture was given by an experienced judge and authority in the field of delinquency among young people, assessed the lecture itself and its conclusions positively. At the same time, the students, who believed that they were facing a criminal who wanted his offense to be treated as humanely as possible, assessed the lecture negatively.
The students, who were introduced to the speaker as a radio worker, took a neutral position. The lecture made all the students look at the punishment of young criminals from different points of view. However, it had the greatest impact on students who rated the lecturer positively, and least on those who considered him a delinquent.
The conducted experiment proves how important the personality of the one who convinces and calls for is. In fact, this knowledge is used by those who ask a respected person to "say a word."
In general, most people believe that in our society, men have a higher status than women. Other things being equal, a person of large build often inspires more confidence than others.
What should be the nature of speech to convince a person? Certainly persuasive!
In order to make your speech more persuasive, you need to follow some rules of persuasion.
- Do not prove the obvious, do not speak banal or commonplace truths. A person always wants to hear something new, unknown to him. Otherwise, he loses interest both in speech and in the speaker himself.
- Do not be afraid to agree with a person if you want to convince him of something. This rule of persuasion will help you turn his own judgments against him or prove their uselessness to him.
- Don't try to explain something you don't fully understand. This is a typical mistake of those who want to convince a person.
- To convince a person, never allow contradictions in your arguments.
- If you manage to find a strong evidence or a strong objection, leave it "for dessert."
- Do not use mediocre and unreliable arguments in your argument. In order to convince a person, try to give strong arguments separately, developing each one in detail; and collect weak arguments into one strong argument.
- In your persuasive strategy, try to reinforce one piece of evidence with another.
- And finally, one more rule that allows you to convince a person that you are right. Don't try to prove more when you can do less. Don't make it difficult for yourself. This requires additional effort and time, and most importantly, it increases the likelihood of failure.
- If you want to convince or convince a person, start not with the moments that separate you, but with what you agree with him.
- Be a good listener and show empathy. You cannot convince a person of anything without understanding the course of his thoughts. Moreover, an attentive listener disposes to himself.
- To convince a person, show that what you offer satisfies any of his needs: physiological (need for food, water, sleep, etc.); the need for security, confidence in the future; the need to belong to any community (family, company of friends, work team, etc.); the need for respect and the need for self-realization.
To some extent, a person needs to satisfy all the needs. The strongest argument is the ability to satisfy any human need.
And yet, a very important rule of persuasion is appropriate silence.
One of the most famous orators of antiquity, Cicero, said: “Silence is not only an art, but also eloquence”
Silence can be an answer no less eloquent than words. A short silence or pause helps to draw the person's attention to your subsequent words and arguments.
Despite the natural modesty, you still have to become self-confident. So, for example, experience shows that a knock on the door, and in addition to it a timid question: “Can I come in?”, Tells the authorities not about your good upbringing, but rather about fearfulness, stiffness, and can provoke irritation much faster than sympathy. . A knock on the door is enough to make sure that they are already waiting for you, and you can go to the manager's office. Also, the question “Where can I sit?” will not characterize you at all on the positive side, especially if there are several chairs around you. Choose the one that will be located closest to your interlocutor. Prefer a chair or an office chair to a soft sofa - after all, getting up quickly and confidently from the pillows is not at all easy, and your task is to convince, not to make your opponent laugh.
Respect the privacy of others
Sit down so that you can clearly see the face of the interlocutor and, accordingly, follow his reaction to what and how you say, of course, it is important, but do not overdo it. According to psychologists, looking into the eyes all the time is not the best way to win over an opponent, because contact lasting more than ten seconds causes a feeling of discomfort, and subsequently irritation. However, one should not go from one extreme to another - if you never dare to look in the face of the one to whom the person came with a request, it is quite reasonable to assume that he is completely uninteresting to you, as, in fact, the subject of conversation. Experts advise mentally looking at a conditional triangle, connecting three points - eyes and mouth.
Specifics and only specifics
You should not tell the whole story of your life in order to let the interlocutor down from the most important part of the conversation. As a rule, high-ranking officials and quite ordinary leaders do not like long lyrical digressions - they simply do not have enough time for them. State your request clearly. In addition, your interlocutor is not stupid at all, and probably guesses that at the end of a tearful story you are going to ask him for something, so during your heartfelt monologue, the opponent most likely does not waste time and thinks over a scheme to protect against your requests and search for arguments for refusal. That is why directly voice the request, without unnecessary epithets and take a break. It's simple psychology: that. Whoever breaks the silence first loses.
If you're used to rejection
Make it a rule to study the needs of the people around you from whom you need something. If you are able to give people what they want or can solve some of their problems, then you can count on reciprocal gratitude and rewards. To determine human desires and needs, listen carefully to your interlocutor, and as soon as the expressions “I want”, “I need”, “help”, “I hope”, “I don’t like”, “problem”, “this is me upsets, ”then consider that the solution to the rebus is already in your pocket. To lead the conversation in the right direction, you can also use leading questions: “What would you like?”, “What do you need most?”, “What can I do for you in order to get what you want?”.
The gift of persuasion
If you still once again received a negative answer, do not rush to give up, clarify whether there are definitely no other options, and if this question is answered in the affirmative, ask a simple question: “Why not?”. Do not be afraid to find out the reasons for the refusal, even if the question seems too direct to you, having learned why you were refused, you can change your tactics so that next time you hear a confident “yes!” instead of vague objections and evasions.
Ilya Kusakin, the author of the manual "The main skill of a sales manager", believes that there are no situations where the art of negotiation cannot be applied, because we always deal with people. “Your success, family well-being and happiness depend on the ability to sell ideas or convince people.”
Powerful and effective techniques will help you become a specialist in this matter.
We all know that in order to succeed in any negotiation it is necessary to be self-confident person, sociable, persistent and purposeful. But why among those who have all these qualities, someone can regularly fail, while others really achieve the goal? What secrets or skills do they have?
Persuade emotionally
Any conversation is first of all emotions. Yours and the side you want to captivate with your idea. Moreover, it is important to take into account the emotions of both parties. In a conversation, observe what the interlocutor is experiencing: is he disappointed, scared, doubtful, interested, but not enough to agree? Working with the emotions of the interlocutor, you find a real way to his heart, and do not push your idea despite the obstacles.
Persuading and arguing for the sake of arguing are two different things. What are the consequences of scandals and how to fix the matter? Let's watch the video!
“A person who is able to have an emotional impact on the interlocutors in negotiations really has a much better chance of closing a deal than the most knowledgeable salesperson.”
Exceed expectations
One of the techniques that helps to effectively persuade. You can convince your mother-in-law to move from a private house to the city center, but will she be satisfied with the result if you do not offer her something that compensates for the loss of the cherry orchard in which she spent her childhood? Hardly. But if you, even if you get forced consent, send her a team of assistants to pack and transport things, you will give her real family support.
« In one auto repair shop, every woman who turned in her car for repair was given the repaired car back with a fresh rose placed on the front seat.”
Eliminate objections
The author is convinced that any objection should be considered as an objective reason, and not as a way to dismiss you. If a person refuses, it is important to let him know that you take this into account. “An objection is important to consider, but it is not necessary to unconditionally agree (and certainly not worth arguing).”
Author's note: “Sit across from each other. Make lists of typical objections and logical arguments that can change your mind. Let your partner read out the objections, and you, first peeking at the list of arguments, and then from memory, answer. Practice until you can easily, on the go, find the right and appropriate logical arguments.
Do not leave the interlocutor alone
If you have already taken up the matter, it is hardly worth leaving it halfway. A conversation in which you want to convince someone of something must be brought to an end without leaving the opponent a chance to doubt. Allow enough time for the conversation so that your opponent has no doubt that this is important to you and do not interrupt for phone calls and absences as needed. Concentrate only on the topic that the conversation is about.
“Trust is very important. Not everyone manages to earn it, but to lose it is easier than easy.
Act as if consent has already been obtained
The effect when belief becomes a fait accompli. Thus, you give a bonus to a person, make him believe in what is obvious to you (he has money, he deserves the best, he is a kind and positive person and will meet you halfway).
“I used this technique from the very first day. Even before she was even my girlfriend (I was then 19 years old), I acted with her as if we were already dating, and nothing else. I did this regardless of how she felt about me, even when things were not going well (and this period lasted about two years). And now, when my wife is angry with me, I still act like she admires me. And it works!
In addition to these important rules, it is worth learning more some useful points:
- to admit one's wrong;
- pay attention to all the details mentioned by the interlocutor, even if they seem small to you;
- always try to find a way out;
- speak clearly;
- use humor.
“Your self-confidence will increase, and this will affect your income level. These are not just words, but my personal promise to each of those who study the book from cover to cover and will apply the information received. Tips and exercises for business and life in the book by Ilya Kusakin "The main skill of a sales manager" ("Alpina Publisher").
Irina Davydova
Reading time: 7 minutes
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Not the stronger one who has great knowledge, but the one who is able to convince is a well-known axiom. Knowing how to choose words, you own the world. The art of persuasion is a whole science, but all its secrets have long been revealed by psychologists in easy-to-understand, simple rules that any successful business person knows by heart. How to convince people - advice from experts ...
- Control over the situation is impossible without a sober assessment of the situation. Evaluate the situation itself, the reaction of people, the possibility of the influence of strangers on the opinion of your interlocutor. Remember that the result of the dialogue should be beneficial for both parties.
- Mentally put yourself in the place of the interlocutor. Without trying to "get into the shoes" of the opponent and without empathizing with him, it is impossible to influence a person. Feeling and understanding the opponent (with his desires, motives and dreams), you will find more opportunities for persuasion.
- The first and natural reaction of almost any person to pressure from outside is resistance.. The stronger the “pressure” of persuasion, the stronger the person resists. You can eliminate the "barrier" from the opponent by positioning him towards you. For example, to play a joke on yourself, on the imperfection of your product, thereby "lulling" the vigilance of a person - there is no point in looking for flaws if you have listed them. Another of the tricks is a sharp change in tone. From official to simple, friendly, universal.
- Use “creative” phrases and words in communication - no denial or negativity. Incorrect: “if you buy our shampoo, your hair will stop falling out” or “if you don’t buy our shampoo, you won’t be able to appreciate its fantastic effectiveness.” Correct option: “Restore strength and health to your hair. New shampoo with a fantastic effect! Instead of the questionable word "if", use the convincing "when". Not “if we do…”, but “when we do…”.
- Do not impose your opinion on the opponent - give him the opportunity to think independently, but "highlight" the right path. Wrong option: "Without cooperation with us, you lose a lot of advantages." Correct option: "Cooperation with us is a mutually beneficial alliance." Wrong option: "Buy our shampoo and see how effective it is!". Correct option: "The effectiveness of the shampoo has been proven by thousands of positive responses, multiple studies, the Ministry of Health, the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences, etc."
- Look for arguments to convince your opponent in advance, having thought through all the possible branches of the dialogue. Put forward arguments in a calm and confident tone without emotional overtones, slowly and in detail.
- When convincing an opponent of something, you must be sure of your point of view. Any of your doubts about the “truth” you put forward is instantly “caught” by a person, and trust in you is lost.
- Learn sign language. This will help you avoid mistakes and better understand your opponent.
- Never give in to provocations. In persuading your opponent, you must be a "robot" who cannot be pissed off. “Balance, honesty and reliability” are three “pillars” of trust even in a stranger.
- Always use facts - the best weapon of persuasion. Not “grandmother told” and “read on the Internet”, but “there are official statistics ...”, “I know from personal experience that ...”, etc. Witnesses, dates and figures, videos and photographs, opinions of famous people are the most effective as facts .
- Learn the art of persuasion from your children. The child knows that by offering his parents a choice, he, at least, will not lose anything and even gain: not “Mom, well, buy it!”, But “Mom, buy me a radio-controlled robot, or at least a designer”. By offering a choice (and by preparing the conditions for the choice in advance so that the person makes the right choice), you allow the opponent to think that he is the master of the situation. Proven fact: it is rare for a person to say “no” when offered a choice (even if it is an illusion of choice).
- Convince your opponent of his uniqueness. Not by vulgar open flattery, but by the appearance of a "recognized fact." For example, "Your company is known to us as a responsible company with a positive reputation and one of the leaders in this field of production." Or "We have heard about you as a man of duty and honor." Or "We would like to work only with you, you are known as a person whose words never diverge from deeds."
- Focus on the "secondary benefit". For example, "Cooperation with us means not only low prices for you, but also great prospects." Or “Our new teapot is not just a technological super-novelty, but your delicious tea and a pleasant evening with your family.” Or "Our wedding will be so magnificent that even kings will envy." We focus, first of all, on the needs and characteristics of the audience or opponent. Based on them, we put accents.
- Do not allow neglect and arrogance towards the interlocutor. He should feel on the same level with you, even if in ordinary life you drive around such people for a kilometer in your expensive car.
- Always start a conversation with moments that can unite you with your opponent, not divide. Immediately tuned to the right “wave”, the interlocutor ceases to be an opponent and turns into an ally. And even in the event of disagreements, it will be difficult for him to answer you “no”.
- Follow the principle of demonstrating shared benefit. Every mom knows that the perfect way to talk a child into going to the store with her is to tell them that they sell candy at the checkout. with toys, or “suddenly remember” that his favorite cars were promised big discounts this month. The same method, only in a more complex execution, underlies business negotiations and contracts between ordinary people. Mutual benefit is the key to success.
- Position the person towards you. Not only in personal relationships, but also in the business environment, people are guided by likes / dislikes. If the interlocutor is unpleasant to you, or even completely disgusting (outwardly, in communication, etc.), then you will have no business with him. Therefore, one of the principles of persuasion is personal charm. It is given to someone from birth, and someone has to learn this art. Learn to highlight your strengths and hide your weaknesses.
AT art of persuasion idea 1:
Video about the art of persuasion 2:
Surely, you have noticed more than once that some people from your environment have an amazing gift of persuasion. However, this gift can be developed - learn about ways to learn how to convince people and even more so, how to convince a person in an article.
From the side it sometimes seems that a person who knows how convince a person can get anyone to do what they want with little to no effort. Such an ability is not a gift, but the ability to correctly express one's thoughts, which everyone can learn. Of course, if we are not talking about politics or football, for example, the Anji team, then you are unlikely to be able to convince, but you can handle other situations quite well.
Five ways to help you find out how to convince a person:
1. Put yourself in your opponent's shoes
To begin with, learn to put yourself in the place of your opponent and guess his interests and preferences as accurately as possible. After a few minutes of communication, even with a stranger, you can understand some of his life values. Agree, you can immediately see people for whom the main place in life is occupied by family, children, education, career growth. During a conversation, it is necessary to use such moments, even to a minimal extent. For example, experienced sales consultants very often use such psychological techniques. To a business person, they offer a more expensive product with many additional functions, arguing that this product will save them time and make it easier to perform many tasks.
2. Combine topics of conversation
During a conversation with an opponent, it is very important to combine two topics - the one that interests you and the one that excites the interlocutor. This method helps to get closer to a person, and in your situation it can become a kind of psychological programming method.
3. Involve Others
When presenting your thoughts, try to involve a third person in the topic. For example, if you are selling a product, then you should not talk about its benefits that you have learned from your own experience. It is much better to come up with one of your friends or relatives who told you about the merits of the product. Otherwise, a person may decide that you are simply imposing this or that product on him.
4. Periodically change the topic to the public interest
Let's note one more important point. In the process interlocutor's beliefs try to periodically translate the topic into the public interest. Mention more often that you express an opinion that is shared by thousands of people in the world, talk about the popularity of your activity or the merits of the product offered.
5. Control your opponent's train of thought
You must in all possible ways win over the interlocutor to yourself, learn to speak the same language with him and control the course of his thoughts. Never end a conversation in a cardinal form of farewell - aim your opponent at a long communication or cooperation, exchange phone numbers, email addresses.
