Home Berries The crisis of 27 years in girls. How to survive a midlife crisis in men - Psychology. In peacetime, too, you can change something for the better.

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The crisis of 27 years in girls. How to survive a midlife crisis in men - Psychology. In peacetime, too, you can change something for the better.

Pitfalls of the 30th anniversary, what you should prepare for in advance

Early adulthood and the 30th birthday trap

When we reach the age of thirty, we begin to experience a kind of restless revival. Almost all of us want to make some changes in our lives. If a man obediently fulfilled his duty, occupying one of the steps in a corporation, he begins to feel that he has grown out of this position. If a man has studied medicine for a long time, for example, then during this period of his life he will be puzzled: life consists of continuous work, and there is no place for games here. A woman sitting at home with her children seeks to expand her horizons during this period. If she wanted to achieve a career, she now feels a strong need for emotional attachments. The impulse to expand often gets us into action before we realize what we are missing out on. "

The limitations we feel as we approach our thirties are echoes of the choices we made in our twenties, even though the choices we made were necessary at that stage of development. But now we feel different. We realize now that some aspect of life was not taken into account before.

Age psychology considers periods of personality development in accordance with certain principles:

- stages of development. The sequence of one stage after another, they cannot change places; and it is impossible to skip any stage. Each stage has specific tasks.

For each stage your sensitive period , those. each stage necessarily falls on a particular age. For example, for the development of speech, the sensitive period is 2-2.5 years, phonemics, when the semantic content of speech differs, is formed by 3 years.

- heterochrony as a principle of developmental psychology. Something in a person is on the rise, and something is in the fall (something is getting old, but something else has not been born).

By the age of 27-28, the “Trap of the 30th Anniversary Trap” crisis sets in, it lasts until about 33 years old.

Signs of a trap:
the experience of time changes - life goes on, but something is missing, everything happens for others, but not for me. On the one hand, people are active, but on the other hand, they feel that something important is not happening, everything is somehow monotonous. With a not very successful choice of family, profession, the severity of the crisis increases.

Obscurity and insistence, these unmistakable signs that a man has entered the transition to the age of thirty, we find in Georg Blecher's short story "The Death of the Russian Novella".
“Sometimes I sit down and say to myself:

“Listen, you are thirty years old now. At best, you'll live another fifty. But what are you doing? You are dragging yourself through life with effort. You want something all the time. But you will never be satisfied with what you have, and you will always admire what you do not have. Eat your patty, friend. Eat it with pleasure and joy. Love your wife. Have children. Love your friends and have the courage to tell those people who humiliate you that they are devils and that you would like to part with them. Be brave, friend, and have a good appetite!”

During an interim period of twenty-eight to thirty-two years, new choices must be made and internal orientations must change or deepen. There are big changes, confusion and the usual crisis in the work, which is accompanied by a conflicting feeling: you feel that you are firmly on your feet, and at the same time you want to break out of it all. The transitional period is followed by a more stable and established period of rooting and expansion.

Usually at this age there is a feeling that the life that you have been building since your twenties is falling apart. This means that you need to find another road leading to new ideas. A divorce is possible, or at least a serious analysis of the marriage union. People who have enjoyed being alone and not having children suddenly feel the desire to enter into a traditional marriage, have children and stay at home with them. Thus begins a bold, though often clumsy, struggle against the positive and negative qualities inherent in us. We must choose and retain the qualities that have been instilled in us since childhood, add to them the qualities and abilities that distinguish us as individuals, and insert this whole set back into a larger form. The expansion and opening of inner boundaries provides an opportunity to begin to unify those aspects of our inner selves that have been hidden so far.

In the transition to the age of thirty, most people select the most significant personal connections and continue to create their home. Almost every married person checks their internal guidelines. In some cases, the question comes down to this: does he want to keep the family union? At least sometimes the prenuptial agreement needs to be revised in the light of new facts that we have learned about ourselves or that we would not like to know about, since we part with our illusions with great difficulty. However, the transition to the age of thirty stimulates a subtle psychological shift on all fronts. The self simply begins to take more value than the other. The strong desire for expansion begins to overpower the need for security. Energy starts to come from within.

How to survive a midlife crisis in men - Psychology. Crisis in women 27 years old

Club 27 years: mystical age and astrology

Brian Jones, founder of the Rolling Stones. Jimi Hendrix. Janis Joplin. Jimmy Morrison. Alexander Bashlachev. Kurt Cobain. Amy Winehouse. What unites these rock musicians and why did our magazine, frankly, far from music, suddenly decide to write about it?

Text: Svetlana Zhukova, Ksenia Milevich

Mysticism or psychology?

The fact is that all these (and this is an incomplete list) famous musicians died under strange circumstances at the same age - at 27 years old. Journalists even came up with a name for this strange phenomenon: "Club 27". And how many names of the members of this club we do not know, because they were not world famous stars ...

What is this fatal figure, why is it so dangerous for a person, and is it connected with mysticism?

In fact, there is a completely logical explanation for this phenomenon. For most people, this age of 27 is associated with major life changes, such as having children, starting a relationship, or getting married. And some already manage to make money in marriage, and quite difficult experiences lie in wait for them: breaks and divorces, difficulties in relationships - in the family and at work. Creative people suffer even more: approaching the 30-year milestone, they begin to ask questions: who am I? What I've done? Why do I live? Many begin to lead a not quite healthy lifestyle - to drink alcohol, drugs.

Yes, the events are, to put it mildly, different. But they all have one thing in common - the transformation of life. And you will be surprised to know that one of the main causes of these transformations is astrology. Namely, the Moon.

In the moonlight...

How is the age of 27 and astrology connected? Why exactly 27 years? Not 32 or 44?

The fact is that 27 years is the cycle of the planet of the Moon in the progressive map of a person (it is used in one of the methods of astrological forecasting), symbolizing the psycho-emotional development of a person, spiritual development.

In astrology, the Moon characterizes our perception and subconscious reactions to what we observe. We can say that this is a “lens” through which a person perceives the world around him. These are our reflexes, habits from childhood, the ability to adapt. The moon is responsible for the sensual side of our life, it characterizes the ability to care for and show feelings (therefore, its position in the horoscope must be taken into account when considering the issue of relationships).

It turns out that it is in 27 years that the Moon makes a full circle and returns to the place in the horoscope of a person in which she was at the time of birth! But he returns with changed astrological aspects - with the influences of other planets. Therefore, this age (the influence lasts for a year and a half) is a period during which a serious internal restructuring takes place, life changes. Of course, all the sub-cycles of this planet (approximately 3-4 years) are also very important, but 27 years is an important age of our inner psychological maturation and development.

Depending on the position of this planet in the individual horoscope of a person, on the astrological aspects of the Moon, various events occur at this age - favorable and not. Well, as we already wrote above, external events are superimposed on this, which can contribute to the beginning of the process of emotional transformation.

Strakhov from Luna-27

Therefore, astrologers advise those who are approaching this age (or you have loved ones who are about to turn 27 years old) to become more conscious and stronger inside, which will certainly help build a more harmonious interaction with the outside world. The moon, influencing our subconscious, can follow the scenario you set: you have the opportunity to transform your perception stereotypes, your attitude to life and yourself. This is especially important for those who have unfavorable aspects of this planet (and a professional astrologer will help you find out).

And instead of getting into the "27 Club", your life can go according to the best, positive scenario: a deep understanding of the events in life will come to you, the ability to build strong and healthy relationships will appear.

How to overcome a midlife crisis in men

What time does it start, when does it end and how long does a midlife crisis last for men? We will try to answer these rather frequent questions that concern the majority of a strong part of humanity.

Causes

In the vast majority of cases, changes begin after 40 years. Sometimes in some men this condition appears earlier or does not occur at all. It depends on many factors of a person's life: status, social status, upbringing, health, and so on. Any individual sets himself goals and meanings of existence. When these goals are not achieved, difficulties, depression, anger at oneself or others appear.

Sometimes it turns out the opposite, a person achieves a goal, but is not happy, and depression, anger and other negative emotions also come. In this case, there are two reasons:

1. The wrong goal was set, which was imposed by the society or some of its members. She did not fit the man at all, but he blindly followed her.

2. It seems that the person is happy, he has achieved what he wanted, but something is missing. Fear comes, but what to do next, why do I exist? This arises because the previously set tasks have been completed, and new ones have not yet been set. At this moment, a person is disoriented, the meaning to achieve something is lost. We all live for something or someone, for example, for the sake of children, ourselves, work, parents, money or other people.

3. Experiencing adolescence, everyone wants freedom, to earn money on their own, to live for their own pleasure, not to depend on anyone, to be like adults, they set many goals for themselves for a long life. But closer to the age of 30-40, already having their own families, work or business, people ask themselves the question: “Am I living right?”, And they begin to wonder how good it was when they were teenagers. This period was characterized by complete freedom, where you lived for your own pleasure, without encumbrances in the form of bills and thoughts about how to feed your family, raise children or not let your boss down. Two opposite images appear in the head, which conflict with each other and cause a complex range of emotions leading to a turning point.

How does a midlife crisis manifest itself in men? They can quit their jobs, change or file for divorce, especially if there are problems in the relationship of the spouses, they can destroy everything and live for themselves, as before. Some become happier, but often, then comes the understanding that they did wrong, did not appreciate their happiness, which became even worse. After all, it was possible to live for yourself without destroying anything, since the children have matured, you can change jobs or grow further, develop.

After 40 years, life is just beginning! This just happens after a tipping point, when people discover themselves in a new way, rethink their views and values, set new realistic goals based on an already large store of knowledge.

4. There is another reason. When a young man makes plans in his youth, he imagines his future and sees a certain picture. He goes to this dream, wearing "pink" glasses. But in the end it doesn't turn out as great as planned. It seems to have achieved the task, but something is not right. Many examples can be given:

I have a wife, but it turned out that the relationship is not going as smoothly as we would like
there is a favorite job, but there is no career growth, or the salary is not satisfactory, or there are problems with the bosses or employees, or, conversely, he has achieved great success in the financial sector, but the work does not bring pleasure.
have hobbies but no health
I want kids, but I can't

Then it is very easy to enter a midlife crisis. The main thing is not to panic, not to make hasty decisions, to have common sense. You can find a way out of most situations. It is also worth learning to appreciate what you have, to see the good in small things, to rejoice as children rejoice. Perhaps everything is not as bad as it seems at first glance.

To be prepared for the possible consequences, you need to know how many years a difficult time can come. Basically, the strong sex faces such a problem in the range from 30 to 50 years. Up to this point, there are certain stages in the growth of the individual. If he passes these them perfectly, then the problem may go unnoticed, painlessly or not at all. It depends on a number of factors.

What should be done?

The first point influencing the further development of events occurs at about 27 years. During this period, bells appear for young men that he did not do something, did not realize it. In psychology, certain stages are distinguished, at which there are tasks, in the solution of which, as a result, the question of how to survive a midlife crisis does not arise.

27-30 years old

What should be done so that in men of 30 years old it goes unnoticed? Until the age of 27, a young man must be born mentally, that is, become a psychologically mature person. To do this, a number of questions need to be addressed:

1. Detach from parents and be independent.

2. Earn money and provide for yourself.

3. To teach to understand what a girl is, why she is needed, that is, her deep essence and relationship with her.

4. Become a family relationship professional, be the "family ship captain." If the "captain" is illiterate, where can he lead the ship? Women, in such cases, seeing such a "captain", move him away from the helm and begin to lead themselves. This point is now the least resolved among the representatives of the stronger sex.

Here are the main stages of the psychological maturity of a guy. It is desirable to do this before the age of 27, up to a maximum of 30. First of all, parents should push this idea. But, unfortunately, they often do not have certain knowledge, so the young man himself is forced to come to this by trial and error.

If a person by the age of 27 is not endowed with certain qualities described above, there are bells that manifest themselves in the form of any difficulties: problems appear in health, in business or in relationships, etc. The older a person becomes, the more such calls begin to influence, become focused, more rigid. It's easy to get depressed at this point.

33 years

The next important stage begins at the age of 33. It is no coincidence that this period is called the age of Jesus Christ. At this time, you need to be born spiritually, to open yourself more voluminously. This kind of birth mostly happens spontaneously, people do not consciously do it. But in vain! Often they let this process take its course, and the spiritual birth does not take place. Or, for example, a person who is not mentally born, skipping this stage, is born immediately spiritually. It is these people who are at risk in later periods, they can be blown away.

After the passage of this time, the following qualities should be present:

must be financially secure
be able to provide not only for themselves, but also for their families,
clearly build a deep relationship with his wife, in general, with a woman,
to understand the whole depth of the world, etc.

As a result, a young person must gradually form in himself knowledge that goes beyond the limits of ordinary consciousness. This is the indicator of a well-running process. At the moment when a difficult male psychological period comes, he will pass it unnoticed or with the least losses, since before that he went through all the stages sequentially.

But if this does not happen, and there are problems with health, with girls, work or something else, then a turning point begins. You need to listen to the prompts and to your feelings.

How to overcome the midlife crisis in men? Psychology answers this question very easily.

It is necessary to finish those tasks that were not completed in the early periods.

Main symptoms

The midlife crisis in men is very easy to track - there is no growth in family relationships, in health, in business, etc. He begins to die morally, he can go into drunkenness or acquire other bad habits, he begins to break down, as something may collapse or not go according to his plan, he feels emptiness, pity, irritation, anxiety, emptiness, longing.

The biggest problem is blatant illiteracy in matters of life, family and personal condition. For this reason, problems arise. A person feels that he is capable of great things, he wants to change something, but he himself does not understand what exactly. At this moment, he can radically change his life, mostly not for the better, while destroying everything. Each situation can be solved by building a chain of events. For this, only elementary knowledge of psychology is needed, and then any representative of the stronger sex becomes the master of the situation.

How can you help?

How to help a man survive a midlife crisis and what to do in such a situation? A beloved woman, a spouse can help overcome the crisis. How to help? No matter how trite it sounds, love, building close partnerships. A woman must develop an understanding that it is necessary to focus as much as possible on her companion, take care of him, but most importantly, remain feminine and attractive. They should be a couple, in no case should they put someone above themselves, someone below, but just be a couple. In no case do not blame yourself or your soul mate. We must try to understand each other and support. This is the main value in life for both partners.

When husbands have a midlife crisis, it is very important to try to help them in a timely manner, because marriage often breaks down during this period. There are situations that are very difficult to cope with, and a woman becomes a hostage to this process.

Representatives of the stronger sex sometimes do not realize what is happening to them, they begin to suffer, try to compensate in different ways, they can blame someone, they are looking for various explanations. Defense mechanisms, rationalization, intellectualization, repression can be used so as not to encounter a situation where it is really clear that something is happening to oneself.

How can I help my husband get through his midlife crisis?

The fair sex must arrange a number of things in a certain order:

1. The second half in the first place. At the age of 40, most men have this difficulty, and the woman herself should want to help her companion, because if he feels good, then the woman will have a loved one who can rely on, build a life together, plans. It is not always easy to do this, but when you yourself feel comfortable, then those who are close to him are filled with this feeling.

2. The space of life, that is, it is necessary to equip the necessary conditions for family life.

The wisdom of a woman is to be constantly interesting. The strong sex without female love is an aggressor that breaks itself and the world around. After 40 years, a woman needs to slow down in her activities and pay maximum attention to herself, her development, femininity, health, and the second childbearing period begins for her. It is by this time that male representatives just truly become fathers.

Psychological struggle is always difficulties, difficulties, pain. It so happens that at this moment the personality, thinking, behavior, emotional sphere are faced with certain barriers, conflicts that literally tear apart from the inside. If a person copes with this state, then he is reborn in a new quality, acquiring certain new meanings and possibilities. It is worth remembering the words of the great thinker Friedrich Nietzsche:

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

Many books have been written on the subject, but we can advise you on Jim Convey's "Men - Midlife Crisis". In it, the author popularly talks not only about the causes of occurrence, but also gives specific advice on how best to cope with a life problem.

Midlife crisis in women - what is it? Is it possible to overcome the midlife crisis in women aged 40 and older

The midlife crisis in women 40 years old is an expression that is probably known to many. The midlife crisis in women occurs 10 years earlier and is more difficult to endure than in men, due to emotionality, receptivity and greater vulnerability.

The term - midlife crisis - refers to a condition that occupies a certain time period at a particular age and is accompanied by characteristic signs. For some, this period proceeds gently and imperceptibly, but for some it is filled with poor health and mood.

Causes and manifestations of the crisis of 40 years in women

You can recognize the crisis of 40 years in women by the following manifestations:

1. There are frequent mood swings, unmotivated irritability.

2. There is a tendency to destructive introspection, anxiety, prolonged depression.

3. The desire to do something disappears, there is a constant conviction that everything is unnecessary and tired.

4. It seems that it is urgently necessary to change everything: wardrobe, hairstyle, main activity, hobbies, husband.

This condition occurs in women aged 40 due to certain psychological reasons and life circumstances. These include the following, the most common:

1. “Suddenly” children grow up who have their own families and interests - there is a feeling of uselessness, unemployment and meaninglessness of existence, the feeling of the rapid approach of old age is aggravated.

2. Together with these circumstances and thoughts, nostalgia for the passing youth arises, because a woman at this age still has “huge plans” and many unfulfilled desires and dreams, but the understanding comes that they may not come true.

3. Responsibility to the family slows down actions aimed at promoting some personal ambitions and hobbies.

4. If a woman does not have children and a husband by this age, this period is especially difficult. Severe depressions can develop due to constant thoughts that a lot has been missed in life, and this cannot be replenished due to age and other reasons. The absence of a family in some 40-year-old women leads to decisive action to find the "second half". This can lead to the collapse of someone else's family or the appearance of a “second half” in the face of a person who is too young in age, which will create additional problems and experiences in the form of condemnation or contempt from others.

5. The midlife crisis is not easy for women who have achieved everything they aspired to and planned for. Successful women leave in search of an “extra” place in life, because they believe that all peaks have been conquered and new ones no longer exist.

Possible solutions to the midlife crisis in women

Since the midlife crisis in women of 40 is a psychological problem of this age, a solution can be found if we ignore it and the thoughts that arise in connection with it. You can’t ignore your condition, “tolerate” and wait for everything to resolve itself: such a passive position can lead not only to a general poor condition and depression, but also to diseases of the nervous, cardiovascular, endocrine systems, sometimes to more terrible consequences .

Psychologists believe that during the onset of a crisis, one should not try to escape from one's new state and not notice what is happening. It is necessary to objectively approach the assessment of a new life situation, accept it and continue to live in the created conditions, remaining a healthy and interesting person.

Therefore, all measures must be taken to get out of this situation with the least losses. This can be facilitated by:

Increase rest, relaxation;

Reading new books, new information will provide an opportunity to escape from obsessive sad thoughts;

Going to the theater, to classical music concerts, to various exhibitions can “switch” to another wave;

Proper nutrition and a healthy lifestyle will improve the condition;

Interesting courses, attending which will broaden your horizons, bring new acquaintances and distract you from sad thoughts;

Change uninteresting and boring work;

Come up with a hobby;

Try to turn your hobby into a small business, thereby enjoying not only yourself, but also delivering it to your customers;

Give a birth to a baby.

These are not all ways to solve the problem of midlife crisis in women. You can come up with many activities that will distract and give a new impetus and energy for a further happy life. It is important not to withdraw or isolate yourself during this period. And remember that the crisis of 40 years for women is a gradual release of stresses accumulated over the entire previous life. You can treat it from a positive point of view: this is a wonderful occasion and another chance to find new talents and realize them. If you do not change your life abruptly and instantly, it becomes possible to get a lot of positive emotions and unexpected prospects.

Another aspect of the dangerous period

There is another aspect of the midlife crisis in women in their 40s. It is more of a physiological one.

At this age, the appearance may change: by the age of forty, metabolic processes in the body slow down, muscle mass decreases, and the fat layer, on the contrary, increases. This process is expressed in every woman to a greater or lesser extent.

Stress and anxiety “warm up” these changes, because cortisol is formed in large quantities during unrest. This is a hormone of the adrenal cortex, which, in response to stress, is secreted by the adrenal medulla and provokes the active reproduction of fat cells. In addition, cortisol suppresses the immune system, which leads to the development of a variety of disorders and diseases in a woman's body.

A powerful release of cortisol also occurs with constant “lack of sleep”, a stormy nightlife, and the lack of proper rest for a long time.

In cases where endless sad thoughts about age, own uselessness and changing appearance are added to the listed factors, in addition to the emerging depression, if you do not break this vicious circle in time, you will have to deal with serious diseases that arise against the background of a sharply declining immunity, the list of which often includes cancer - "disease of sadness."

Positive thinking is an important point in problem solving

Therefore, during a crisis, it is more important to focus not on what has not been done and what has not been achieved, but on the positive aspects of the past. This will give impetus to thinking and implementing new plans, will give strength to survive this difficult period. There will be not only a way out of the crisis, but also the entrance to a new "epoch" of life. The main thing is to correctly place the accents and try to constantly think not about what you failed to accomplish in your life, but about what good things happened during this period. In any situation, you need to find positive aspects.

A new relationship is one of the solutions

The midlife crisis in women of 40 is accompanied not only by a restructuring of the personality, but also by a change in attitudes. During this period, it is necessary to correctly assess your relationship with your partner, understand where they do not satisfy both, and discuss it. If the crisis came at a time when there is no close person nearby, you need to understand whether you need a partner and what kind of relationship you would like to have with him, what you need to do and how to change yourself in order to find such a “half”.

During this difficult period, it is important to learn psychological techniques for relieving stress - this will help slow down the aging process and prevent the emergence of new diseases.

Reassessment of values is an important step towards positive

It is very important in this difficult period to reassess values and appreciate the good that is already in life. Appreciate, and not take for granted the fact that there are children and a husband, parents, friends, favorite work or work in general. In every woman's life there is something good to focus on and appreciate. Then you will be able to survive a difficult time without loss for yourself and loved ones.

In spite of everything, one must strive to maintain psychological youth, try to be busy, active, enthusiastic, not to cultivate sad thoughts. And then the crisis at the exit will give new strength and energy, and, therefore, a new interesting life, or calmness and balance. But life will go on!

Also find out…

In order for a child to grow up strong and dexterous, he needs this
How to look 10 years younger than your age
How to get rid of mimic wrinkles
How to permanently remove cellulite
How to lose weight fast without dieting and fitness

Text: Svetlana Zhukova, Ksenia Milevich

Mysticism or psychology?

What is this fatal figure, why is it so dangerous for a person, and is it connected with mysticism?

In the moonlight...

How is the age of 27 and astrology connected? Why exactly 27 years? Not 32 or 44?

Strakhov from Luna-27

At 20, you are still growing. This is the time when you choose the wrong people, drink a lot, go out and push yourself to the limit. But by the 27th, here's what you'll know:

It's okay to say no. You are an adult and you don't owe anything to anyone.
By risking big, you, in turn, can receive a big reward. For example, you can leave a job you hate and move to another city if you want to start a new life. It's possibly the scariest thing you'll ever do, but it's worth it.
The only constant in this world is change. If you have planned something, the Universe can disrupt your plans. Get used to it. The more you can get used to the blows of fate, the happier you will become.
We are not born just to work. Solely work, without favorite hobbies, drains. So find your passion and do what you love.
It's better to accept what you have, not what you haven't achieved yet. Be positive, appreciate what you have, but don't stop trying to make life better and happier, and success will come to you.
Physical exercise helps not only the body. Mentally they are just as useful. The endorphins that enter the bloodstream make you feel better emotionally.
Dating is terrifying. But you'll never know what you're missing if you don't try it.
Hangovers feel terrible. The body is no longer the same as it was in your 20s, so after a stormy party, he has to recover longer. Drink responsibly and in moderation.
You don't need the approval of others. You know your strengths and weaknesses and are not interested in the approval or disapproval of others. You just don't care about it.
Letting go of a friendship is okay. People are moving away from each other. This is part of life. You will always appreciate this person for who they were to you, but sometimes you just have to let go.
Comparing yourself to other people only hurts you. You waste a lot of time analyzing and comparing yourself with someone else, instead of spending it on achieving goals.
If you want to be with someone, tell him/her about it. Rejection is terrifying. But on the other hand, if you don't try, you won't know how wonderful it is to be with this person if he agrees.
Karma is real. What you put into the world, you will get back. Make sure you leave positive vibes behind.
You don't have rehearsals for life. You don't get a second chance. So if you love someone, say so. Do you want a specific career? Take action so you don't regret what you didn't do on your deathbed.
Everything that happens happens for a reason. Even suffering helps us grow and develop. You will see how everything you have been through brings you to where you are today.
It's okay to be sad. Just never let sadness consume you. Figure out why you feel a certain way and get over it.
Not everyone likes you. And that's completely normal. What they think of you is their opinion.
The different people in your life will help you grow. Friends and acquaintances of different ages, nationalities and genders will bring you more knowledge and understanding of life.
Communication is key. When you learn to communicate with other people about how you feel or what you need, your relationships will become stronger. But also listen to the wishes of these people.
Family and good friends are everything. A few setbacks and problems in life will make you realize how good it is that you have people you can trust and who will help in any situation by supporting you.

Why does the "club of 27" exist? Why did such idols as Robert Johnson, Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain pass away at the age of 27? Now here's Amy Winehouse. Our rock scene also has such losses, we can recall Igor Chumychkin from Alice and Alexander Bashlachev. The answer will not be very difficult. But it can't be too simple either. It will take some attention. Let's try to figure it out.

Human life is cyclical. Probably because the life of nature, of which man is a part, is cyclical. The earth revolves around the sun and around its axis, day follows night, year after year, flowing each time within the same boundaries. There are four seasons within a year. Notice four, not three or five. The calendar may be different for different peoples, the number of months in a year and days in a month are recognized as different, but it seems that there are always four seasons. There is a day. And there is a year.

Man lives in these cycles. It is connected with the cycles of the planet Earth, but not only with them. Perhaps a person is influenced by the cycles of other celestial bodies, the cycles of the interaction of the Earth and various constellations. Such an influence is supposed by astrologers, but is not scientifically proven. Possibly influenced by solar activity cycles. Looks like 11 year olds. However, a person has biological cycles proper, and socio-cultural cycles, and cycles that can be called anthropological cycles of human life.

I assume that life is divided into a number of large overlapping periods. The fact that they intersect is extremely important. Partly because that is what makes them so difficult to establish.

There are three or four of these cycles. It all depends on what life expectancy a person is designed for. Not some specific, but a person in general, an ideal type of person, a person as a representative of the species Homo sapiens. If you stick to the current version that a person should live 120 years, then the four big cycles are ideal. Overlapping, for 40 years. Each of these periods corresponds to those environments and substances that form human life. Man is a biological, social, cultural and personal being. Nature, society, culture and personality are the four environments of its existence, the four worlds to which a person adapts throughout his life, the four spheres of his interests and activities.

During the first 40 years of life, a person activates and realizes his natural potential. For the second 40 years he lives as a social dominant. In the third 40 years, a person takes shape as a cultural unit. Well, a unit of that culture with which he really interacts all his life. The world of culture is diverse. The last, fourth forty years have been given to man in order, apparently, to deal with himself and try to unite his biological self with his social and cultural self. Or maybe not to unite everyone together, but to understand what else is in it, besides natural properties, social dependencies and cultural institutions. The personality of a person as an environment for human existence - this certainly sounds strange. But, perhaps, precisely because we have little information about this period of human life?

Over the years, it looks like this:

1. natural cycle - 0-39 years;

2. social cycle - 27-66 years;

3. cultural cycle - 54-93 years;

4. personal cycle - 81-120 years.

As you can see, 27 years have appeared. At the age of 27, the unequivocal dominance of a natural, biological basis in a person's life ends. The reorientation of man from natural to social interests begins. With all the ensuing consequences. Well, at least with these: by this time, a person more or less clearly knows or feels that the talents that he has, those abilities, of the most general plan that he had at that time, are what he has. it is available for later life. No more news in this sense is to be expected in the foreseeable future. The period of discovery in oneself of something fundamentally new is over. Everything that has already happened will follow.

The thirteenth birthday of 27-39 years old is perhaps the most difficult and difficult in a person's life. And it is so arranged that in the first year of any thirteenth birthday, a person, as it were, experiences in general terms the entire thirteen-year period. In fact, this year he is explicitly or implicitly aware of all the problems that he will face, which will have to be solved in subsequent years. And in a rough outline, in the most general terms, it solves them. Different people, with different talents, abilities and opportunities, experience it in their own way. Some tensely, some imperceptibly. Some people don't succeed at all.

This, of course, is not the whole analysis, but only the beginning. Preliminary, basic foundations. 40-year cycles are the most common. The pattern of weaving cycles is quite complex. Human life cycles - 1 year, 4 years, 13 years, 40 years, 120 years. And each cycle has an internal semantic structure.

So, human life is cyclical. There is a common cycle of human life, supposedly 120 years. It consists of four overlapping large cycles: natural (0-39 years old), social (27-66 years old), cultural (54-93 years old), personal (81-120 years old). The name of the cycle indicates the adaptive task that is dominant at this time, facing the person. On the main sphere of interests and real life tasks characteristic of this period.

In the natural (biological) period, a person's attention is focused mainly on natural needs and motives to the detriment of social, cultural, and personal ones. Man strives to determine and realize his natural potential. Recognize and realize your biological needs to the detriment of everything else. Hence comes the social outrageousness of young people. And the desire of adolescents for freedom, ignoring generally accepted norms and rules. And the denial of adult culture. And rebellion. And neglect of the long-term consequences of their own actions. And some immorality, which is generally inherent in children and adolescents.

Biological needs - nutrition, security, cognitive, manipulative and playful activity, growing up (assertion as an independent, self-sufficient individual), sex (including the creation of a married couple), reproduction (creation of one's own family). These needs dominate a person up to 40 years. One way or another, they must be satisfied.

Then comes the period of social dominance. Social needs are activities in the social system (work, labor) for a certain part of social resources, mature creativity, the measure of which is not only material reward, but also social recognition; struggle for social position, for a place in the social hierarchy; installation on the expression of the interests of the family and / or society. The problems, as we see, are completely different. But the social period begins at age 27. Therefore, from 27 to 39 years old, a person lives in a situation where natural and social principles, natural and social motives and interests are sharply fighting in him.

This is due to the fact that 40-year periods are structured in the same way as life in general. Each 40-year cycle of human life is divided into four 13-year cycles. These cycles have their own nature.

Man differs from animals in one essential property. It carries out systematic purposeful activity. The animal is not engaged in activity, the animal solves the current task in real time. Wants to eat - seeks and finds food. Wants to sleep - chooses a safe place and falls asleep. Unlike a person who creates a whole food production system that functions on an ongoing basis. Or he builds not only separate housing, but entire settlements and cities. This is probably one of the most important human differences. He is an active being. And the activity has several aspects, its organization makes it necessary to answer several questions. First, who will do it? Second - what does he want to get? Next - how can he achieve this? And, finally, who will he turn out to be if he accepts such ends and such means of activity?

13-year intersecting cycles are in fact an activity sequence of solving the problem facing a person in this large forty-year period. The first, natural forty-year cycle looks like this:

1. 0-12 years old - the formation of a biological individual, that is, the preliminary design of who will later solve the problem of natural adaptation; exit to the start;

2. 9-21 years - the period of determining the goals of biological adaptation; at this time, a person is determined with those problems that will be most important for him: whether he will be focused on simple life support, or on sex, or on reproduction and providing for the family, or on cognitive activity, or on play or activity creativity; in fact, each person has all these needs, and a positive decision is desirable to satisfy each of them, but this is not always possible; very important, central period;

3. 18-30 years - the period of finding out the means of natural adaptation that this particular person has; a person realizes that his goals require certain qualities from him, which need to be found and fixed in himself, that a certain lifestyle is required, some sacrifices and restrictions are inevitable; otherwise, the goals may not be achieved;

4. 27-39 years - the time of the final formation of a natural person, focused on his chosen goals with the help of various means found by him, specialization.

The second, social period, like the last two, cultural and personal, look the same, they just solve problems of a different kind. But the beginning of the social cycle is directly related to the topic, so it is desirable to describe the social cycle. Let's do it:

1. 27-39 years old - the formation of a social individual; a person enters social life and receives a preliminary social appearance and some initial social positions, realizing that social life is something special, and one must adapt to it in a special way;

2. 36-48 - definition of their social goals: work in society, or social connections and hierarchy, or transformation of society, etc.; Of course, here, too, it is desirable to satisfy the needs for social resources, social recognition, and a high hierarchical position, but a comprehensive solution is far from being given to everyone;

3. 45-57 - finding out the social means available at the moment to achieve the set social goals;

4. 54-66 - approval as a social subject, realizing certain goals by certain means.

Of course, experiencing all these cycles is not on our conscious life plan. A person in most cases is focused on current problems. At best, these problems provide perspective. But this plan still exists, and all the big questions of current life that confront us have their relation precisely to it. Unconsciously, confusingly, with difficulty, we make our way to solving precisely the planned problems of our adaptation and our personal development.

In the period of 27-39 years, a person has to face the fact that, on the one hand, he ends his natural self-determination. It's not very pleasant. Because, as I wrote above, it is usually not possible to succeed in everything, to hit all natural goals, to implement all options for natural development. For example, a person was so carried away by creativity that he did not marry (the girl did not marry). Or a person confidently solved the problem of life support, life is adjusted and provided. But I don’t like the work, there is no creative, cognitive, game self-realization, it’s boring. And/or no children, no family proper. And / or continuous random and temporary sexual relationships that have ceased to please. And so on. And it is unclear what to do next. Because a person feels that he has specialized. What is possible, is obtained without serious effort, by itself. And what is not possible, you will not approach at all.

On the other hand, the social period begins. Its initial, rather indistinct stage. Public life makes its demands. There is no more time and energy to complete what began in the natural period. In addition, it is quite difficult to adjust to other beginnings, other motives of life activity. Moreover, at first these beginnings are often perceived as a necessity imposed from outside, and not their own interest.

In general, on the one hand, you need to complete the natural period, make ends meet in yourself, try to accept your achievements, which is relatively easy, and your failures, which is rather difficult. Many during this period try to seize on some last, as it seems to them, opportunities, often forcing themselves into what they, having time, would never have done. For a woman, it is often - to marry an unloved, but reliable person. For a man - to stop rushing about and hang out, to take up the mind, for reliable money work, which he does not like.

On the other hand, social reality is a rather harsh thing, if not cruel. She has her own mechanics, her own rhythms, her own strength. If a person does not even imagine an extra-natural, extra-biological life, then he simply carries a life outside of society and its rules, a free, independent life at the time of entering the period of social adaptation. It has not ended yet, its illusion is still present. And the greater the feeling of freedom being lost, the less attractive the social world that dictates its conditions to a person. Crisis, difficult 13 years. No wonder after forty there is a completely different attitude to life.

And it all begins in those very notorious 27 years. Why 27 years can be a critical year - in the next, final part.