Good afternoon, dear homebodies. As often happens, a wife is dissatisfied with her husband, his behavior or attitude towards her. “You don’t help me much around the house!” - this is one of the most popular female complaints against a man.

Wanting to at least slightly reduce the daily burden of his beloved woman, a man meekly takes on more and more new responsibilities, but this does not change the situation for the better.

What's the matter? Why does a wife nag her husband or remain depressingly silent?

Let's be clear!

Housekeeping is work. And it just so happened historically that a woman does this work.

Undoubtedly, this work can be greatly simplified by equipping your home with a washing machine, dishwasher, washing vacuum cleaner, food processor and other modern gadgets. Actually, most men see this as their contribution to creating home comfort.

It seems to them that a woman is now only required to press buttons with manicured fingers, without looking up from the magazine.

As you understand, everything is a little different. And we’re not even talking about the fact that the dirty plates won’t scrape off the remains of the goulash on their own and won’t line up in neat rows, but someone still needs to sort the smelly socks from the lace panties.

It's about management. What, you ask, can management be like in a banal wash? You don’t even think about it, but for your wife, every wash is a real project!

• Is there enough laundry accumulated?
• does it have difficult stains that require pre-treatment,
• will the noisy spinning wake up the child if you start washing late in the evening,
• Is there enough space on the dryer if you wash everything at once?
• Should I boil all whites separately, or wash them together with light colored items at medium temperature,
• Is there enough powder for 2 visits or do I need to run to the store...

Yes, these decisions are made automatically, but this happens every time and before every button press.

Cleaning, washing dishes, shopping, cooking, caring for animals and plants - all this requires planning, like any other job.

The more household responsibilities, the more carefully you need to think through the strategy. And this is what turns a woman into a housewife.

Step one.

When a wife is unhappy with her husband, evaluate your contribution

Situations are different. It happens that a husband works two jobs and runs around like crazy at home, following the orders of his unemployed wife.

And it happens that he sits on his butt in front of the computer in the office and drinks coffee, and his woman rushes after work to the kindergarten and the store, and spends the evenings at the stove. However, it is still possible to divide responsibilities so that everything is fair.

Determine which household chores you are ready to take on completely and completely, and which work you will not touch even at gunpoint, and discuss this with your wife.

Step two.

If the wife is unhappy with her husband, then do your job thoroughly

You must understand that if sharpening kitchen knives falls on yours, a woman should not plan this work.

Knives must be sharp, period. If she shouts from the kitchen “honey, the knives are dull!” – She has already taken on part of your work. And every time she crushes a tomato with a blade as dull as a finger, she has every right to cry.

After all, sharpening knives, which you have undertaken, includes not only maintenance, but also preventive technical inspections.

If a woman asks you to do your work, it means that you have not freed her from this work 100%. Believe me, it’s better to do one thing without waiting for a request than to do 10 things on your wife’s orders.

Step three.

If the wife is unhappy with her husband, take the initiative

No, we’re not talking about how to shoulder all the housework, freeing up your loved one to watch TV series. If you've already divided the responsibilities equally and are each doing your own thing, and your wife doesn't have to plan your own work for you, it's time to learn a little trick.

It consists in the fact that from time to time you will participate in planning her responsibilities. For example, you dropped ketchup on a white shirt. You can throw it in the laundry basket. You can wash it yourself.

Or you can say: “Honey, I have a stain on my shirt, and there are a lot of white things in the basket. Maybe we can wash them today before the stain dries?”

The same goes for cooking. When your wife asks you what to cook for dinner today, she is not trying to please you.

Don’t try to make her life easier with the words “cook what you want” - this is the worst answer! By choosing a dish to suit your taste, you help her plan her work.

Step four.

If the wife is unhappy with her husband, ask and remind

It happens that, objectively, the wife does much less than the husband, but continues to methodically nag him. In such a situation, you can take on the role of tactician and strategist, regularly reminding her of her responsibilities.

And if earlier, when she couldn’t get you to hammer a nail into the wall for months, the truth was on her side, now that you’ve learned to do your job inside and out, it’s time to put her in her place.

At the same time, you can be in her shoes and feel what it’s like to constantly ask, remind, demand and not get any results. With women who are economical, responsible, and most importantly, loving, it is usually not necessary to resort to this technique.

Enjoy it

The distribution of roles and their clear implementation makes it possible to reduce domestic conflicts to a minimum. After reading women's forums, you come to this simple conclusion: women are annoyed not by the fact that a man does nothing, but by the fact that he does not do anything himself.

After all, you yourself like it when your wife makes your life more pleasant (in a certain sense) on her own initiative, and not after you ask her about it a thousand times.

If a wife is unhappy with her husband, you need to have a heart-to-heart talk, what are you doing wrong in her opinion?

Happy married life!

Many men come to psychologists with the question: “ Why does my wife constantly scream and swear at me?" This problem is considered to be quite common.

Typical example:

“My wife is impossible to please. We have two children who go to school, we have been married for 10 years, we both work full time. No matter what I do, she is always unhappy, even if I try to do my best or give up things to do her errands. The list of tasks she writes to me for the week is huge. Very often I am the one who takes care of the children, taking them to school, taking them to classes.

I have to ask her several times every day how she is doing. At least once a week she gives me a dressing down. And during the day he can make several comments. This has been going on for about two years and I am very tired of it. I began to think that I couldn't do anything right. I let her relieve the tension by swearing at me.

Recently I went to football with my friends; it was the first weekend in six months that I allocated for myself. When I returned home, she was furious. Then she didn’t talk to me for a week. We decided to fix everything and went on a romantic date. But even there she could not relax. We ended up bickering over little things instead of enjoying our vacation.

Why does my wife scream and swear at me? How can I help her relax? All my friends are married, most of them do much less housework, and their wives hardly scold them. I also want to be happy, how can I get my old relationship back?”

What does a psychologist say in such cases:

This is a typical situation in which both are to blame. It is understandable that you, as the author of the request, may say: “But she takes it out on me and gets angry much more often.” You may not even agree that this is your fault either. Okay, let her be the active aggressor and you the passive aggressor. But you both are pragmatic towards each other, and it's time to stop.

Accept as a fact that a family with two children, where both work full time, is a difficult case. This is objectively true. Love is a wonderful feeling, having two children is an amazing achievement. Having a job that you're happy with is also a great thing. But when you try to put it all together, there aren't enough hours in the day. And this happens not once a week, but every day. Until one of you collapses from fatigue.

Psychologists studying the level of happiness among family people have noticed that at the age of 20 everyone says that they live wonderfully. Then everything goes in a downward direction until the bottom is reached at 40 or 50 years old. During this period, people feel especially unhappy. And then things gradually begin to return to normal, and happiness levels rise until they peak in their 60s or 70s.

What's happening? Children leave family nests. And both parents can again live for themselves, pursue their own hobbies, without looking at anyone around them. Life turns out to be calmer and more harmonious, the feeling of happiness returns again. There are fewer obligations, and spouses can focus on what they have dreamed about all their lives. They may return to old hobbies: going to yoga or repairing and restoring antique cars.

Photo by Bruno Aguirre on Unsplash

Many families, even today, can afford one non-working spouse. But in the described situation this does not happen. Both are forced to work and raise children. The husband and wife have practically no time for themselves or for rest. That is, both exist in terrible stress and constant time pressure. Reactions to this stress can be very different, sometimes spouses begin to fight against each other.

Instead they need to become a close-knit team, reliable support for each other. And help restore strength, for example, by taking turns resting one day a week. It's quite clear where the battles come from. This is a war for limited resources: sleep, time for yourself, favorite hobbies. All this becomes an invaluable source of grace and peace, because this resource is lacking for both. Small children and work take up almost all the free time of each couple.

Wife problems

What is the wife's mistake? Instead of looking for the causes of stress, she focuses on the symptoms: on irritability, fatigue and other unpleasant feelings. And she begins to blame her husband, who is unlikely to be the source of stress.

She begins to perceive her husband as her slave, as an employee. She cannot talk to him calmly and openly. She does not want to discuss with him possible changes in life that will allow her and him to rest more and regain strength.

Photo by priscilla du preez on Unsplash

She works extremely hard, and when she feels that she has absolutely no strength left, and there are still many unfulfilled tasks, she lashes out at her husband. It's mildly offensive and the wrong way to communicate. When she screams at her husband, she experiences release. But it hurts him, which can be bad for the relationship.

The wife in this situation needs to realize that the very fact of a ten-year marriage is not an excuse for such behavior on her part. The husband did not undertake to be her slave; he has a choice: leave or stay. He may decide to stop being her punching bag.

It is important for her to understand that there are no situations in which she is always right and her husband is always wrong. She needs to get to the bottom of it and understand what drives her into a state of frenzy. And change these circumstances, and not throw out your dissatisfaction on the person who is trying to support her.

Husband's problem

So, the wife constantly yells at her husband for doing everything wrong. What is he wrong about? He is not her employee, and does not have to act as if he works for her. The husband needs to stop reacting like a subordinate. And take the position of an equal partner in the dialogue.

Photo by Drew Hays on Unsplash

He's a grown man, why does he need a to-do list? Does he have no eyes? He is not able to assess whether it is time to do the laundry, whether there are dirty dishes, whether he needs to pick up the child after school? People do these everyday things without focusing on any lists, automatically. Whatever problems they see in front of them, they eliminate them.

It is very strange to hear from a man who feels like a cornered horse that his wife is “not relaxed enough.” Do you think she's tired of difficult to control an adult man?

What to do for both

If you recognize yourself in the description, read the recommendations and understand that this is about you, conduct an experiment. Write down everything you do around the house on a piece of paper. Be petty, learn all the nuances down to who takes out the trash and changes the toilet paper roll, who wipes the children’s noses and pours tea into everyone’s mugs.

Then, on this list, highlight all the things, all the items that you do for yourself, and not for your wife or children. Let your spouse do the same. If betting could be done in such cases, most experienced psychologists would bet that the wife's list is much longer than her husband's. There's no need to guess here: the one who gets more tired is the one who breaks down more often.

Try another experiment: switch roles for a week. If your wife used to tell you what to do all the time, now it’s your turn. Ask for whatever you want: buy beer, bring tea, run to the store, put money on your phone. Let her serve you in addition to her standard to-do list. Then ask each other questions.

Did she manage to complete all your instructions?
Did she manage to hold out for a week?
Did she manage to hold out for at least one day?
Did she manage to do everything right? Or did you also have to make comments?

The era of the 1950s has passed. Then the ideal family was like this: the husband worked, the wife stayed at home. She could spend 30 minutes choosing the best tenderloin in the store, and had time to wash and cook everything. After all, she didn’t have 2 hours to do this after work, but the whole day. She didn't have to spend 40 hours a week working in an office.

Now it's fashionable to live differently. Both work, and they do it for the privilege of having much more money than they could. But for some reason it is believed that women still have to do everything, and at home too. The children must be well-groomed, the apartment must be cleaned, and dinner must be prepared.

In our grandmothers' youth, a man who was willing to take his wife's to-do list and do something about it was considered a hero. This was an exception to the rule. Everyone said: “Look at him, he’s so progressive, he doesn’t even complain, he allows his wife to run errands for him.”

Photo by Matthew Bennett on Unsplash

In modern generations, this type of behavior is no longer considered progressive. Husbands are called henpecked, and wives are called aggressive bitches. Start living as equals.

The man who wrote the complaint with which the article began should start living for yourself. He needs to remove phrases such as “helped with the children” and “helped around the house” from his vocabulary. He didn’t help, but did what he had time to do, insuring his wife, who will do something for you next time while you are late at work.

In the current family there are no male and female responsibilities, with rare exceptions this is true. Whoever has time takes the children out of school. Whoever can come early organizes dinner. Teaching children to do homework will be a good help.

From primary school onwards, they can clean their room or wash the dishes. Moreover, there is no need to hand out any trophies shouting: “Wow, you did it yourself!” In a family where both parents work, children from an early age should learn self-care skills.

The wife in this situation needs to learn techniques that allow her to relax and control her anger. These can be simple breathing exercises. Having spent a couple of minutes on them, she will not lash out at her husband, and will not destroy the relationship in which both are having a hard time due to banal fatigue. No one should yell, insult or give negative feedback. This must be done in the interests of both, in the interests of the family.

It will be difficult for a wife to overcome this behavior if she has been using swearing and swearing as a way to reduce her stress levels for years. But you need to understand that she does not receive anything good in return. As a rule, after scandals there is only a feeling of sadness, loneliness, fatigue, and sometimes a feeling of guilt.

Family therapy

You will say that it is difficult for you to decide and go to a session. You can answer that it is most likely much more difficult for your wife to restrain herself and not yell at you than to get ready and go to a psychologist. You are not your spouse's enemy, and she is not your enemy.. You are two people, tired, unhappy, stuck in a typical relationship mechanism that leads to a breakup.

Eliminate this mechanism, start building relationships on a new foundation. Take responsibility for this, change your behavior, give arguments that will force your wife to start communicating with you openly and without unnecessary emotions. You can understand that both you and she can handle this. But it will be better if you do this together, rather than bring the situation to the point where the easiest solution seems to be separation.

The question is asked by Andrey – N., Russia

Married for four years. The further you go, the more difficult it gets, the main problem is the difference in character and age (10 years). I'm 35, I'm a manager (department head) and I work a lot. She sits with the child (does nothing else) and is constantly dissatisfied when asked why, she says she doesn’t know. I don’t feel like going home; I’ve been constantly thinking about divorce lately. I understand that it’s a sin, but I’m already on the brink. Maybe you can give me some advice, maybe you can pray... Thank you.
With all respect, Andrew.

Denis Podorozhny answers:

Hello, of course I will definitely pray. But most of the responsibility lies with the two of you.

Your situation is quite serious, but I am not writing this so that you will become burdened and “loaded up”, but rather the opposite - so that you can put your priorities in place and take certain actions and efforts aimed at saving the marriage.

You need to not only understand that divorce is a sin. But to be convinced that 1) it is a sin; 2) this is not a solution to the problem; 3) it brings new problems. After all, you can, of course, say that the wife is to blame for everything, and it is she who is dissatisfied with something, and you are doing everything right... But this would be wrong.

What caused the dissatisfaction? Why doesn't she "know" herself? Perhaps she knows, but is closed to talking to you about her problems in her heart. It is possible that, on the contrary, you are closed to listen and UNDERSTAND her.

Be that as it may, there are always reasons for discontent and cooling of relationships. These are the ones you need to solve. Without dealing with the roots of emerging problems, you will constantly see them repeated, and figuratively speaking, “step on the same rake.” And no divorce, no creation of a new family (don’t even allow these thoughts!) will help you!

If the reasons remain, then the consequences will remain the same.

Why is your wife in such an internal state? Have you tried to talk to her not from your point of view (“Well, what else? What else are you unhappy with? I do everything for you!”), but trying to SERVE and HELP her.

Seeing yourself unhappy, perhaps you do not notice her sorrows and pains!

Could there be such a layout? - You got married 4 years ago, both somehow imagined your family life, cherished certain dreams... But then reality came. You yourself are at work. Life is in full swing around you, you need to make decisions, people, affairs, problems... She is at home EVERY DAY. And every day is the same: cleaning, washing, cooking, raising a child. EVERY EVENING you come home from work tired (“I bring money to the family,” you explain your responsibility!), and therefore you are given certain discounts. She understands this. But inside I want it differently. But as? Unclear! No exit!

This is where internal dissatisfaction is generated. And there is no one to blame. She understands you partly, but partly EXPECTS to be understood... But there is no understanding from you...

Could such a situation exist in your family? Or is it quite possible I'm wrong? God willing!

Just double check! Try to talk to her, not in the spirit of a showdown (“What don’t you like?”), but in a sincere desire to understand her. Ask her about her dreams and goals. Do this not after a conflict or during household chores, but at the most appropriate moment.

Don't have the moment? Moreover, everything becomes clear. THEN YOU NEED TO ORGANIZE THE MOMENT: take her to a restaurant. Agree with relatives or hire someone to babysit your child and spend time together (OUTSIDE THE HOME!).

Communicate! Listen to each other! You should mostly listen to her. Let her talk! Perhaps only then will you begin to understand something!

Don't even think about keeping thoughts of divorce in your mind! Leave it! Repent for allowing such thoughts. START DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE!

If the internal spiritual needs and expectations of a woman in marriage are not realized and not met, then it is not surprising that family life begins to crack. (However, with men too, BUT (!) you need to pay attention to those things that YOU SHOULD COMPLETE FOR YOUR WIFE)

Before you find this book, I will list these five basic needs of a woman in marriage:

1. The need for tenderness and romance

2. The need for communication and the opportunity to talk with your husband (and not on his terms)

3. The need for the husband to be honest

4. The need for the husband to be financially responsible for the family

5. The need for the husband to be a good father to his children.

It is quite possible that some of your spouse’s needs are met by you, but it is those that are not met that can make themselves felt (By analogy: if you are hungry, then fresh air is not enough for you to satisfy your hunger. If you are in a stuffy room , then you will not feel good just because you are full).

Think about how to make marriage and life more interesting and varied for your wife! May God give you creative ideas! Ask her what she dreamed about and what she dreams about? Help her realize herself! And by doing this, you will see how your family will become stronger!

All the best to you!

Stay in touch! I believe that you will break through, and then I expect a letter from you with evidence!

Sincerely,

P.S. Do not forget to contact and consult with one of the wise church clergy. In addition to consultations in the virtual space, it is VERY important to have real communication with those who could listen to you carefully, give sensible advice, and pray with you and for you! It is important!

Some interesting statistics. The vast majority of readers of this site are women... When I first noticed this, I was slightly surprised, but then I thought that, however, there was nothing to be surprised about.

Indeed, women are more likely to seek solutions to their problems, discuss them and ask for advice. Men, on the other hand, are more often inclined to hush up their problems, because a man is strong and resilient and will sort out his problems himself, right?

Based on these statistics, I am increasingly beginning to write articles aimed specifically at a female audience. But resentment is a universal thing, and therefore it is impossible not to affect men’s feelings. Just because men don't like to talk about their problems openly doesn't mean that women experience resentment on average more often than men. In addition, the resentment experienced by men can often be stronger due to the fact that they do not often give it vent.

In what relationships does a man experience resentment? Of course, in loved ones. And naturally, one of such relationships is marriage. It often happens that a young man falls madly in love and, against the backdrop of sweet expectations of a happy future together, proposes to the woman. And of course, if the feelings are mutual, at first the relationship is truly a fairy tale.

But after a few years, the man suddenly begins to realize that the fairy tale he painted for himself in his imagination does not correspond to reality at all. And the reason for this is a lack of awareness, a lack of understanding of how women really work, and a lack of knowledge of what to expect from them. But instead of understanding the situation, he would prefer to withdraw into himself and endure, endure, endure. Until sooner or later a threshold is crossed and a quarrel occurs, varying in strength from moderate to catastrophic.

I note that we are talking about monogamous relationships. That is, the husband and wife are expected to sleep only with each other until the very end, that is, until death or divorce separates them. And no one cheats on anyone, has never cheated and will never cheat. It’s immediately clear that the initial premises are not the most realistic, but we’ll talk about resentment in open and “closed” relationships another time. In the meantime, here's how a wife can traumatize her husband without realizing it.

How a wife traumatizes her husband in 6 different ways

1. Refusal of sex. This is in first place for a reason, since this is almost the surest way to ruin a man’s married life. Dear women, every time you deny sex to your regular sexual partner, it is a painful blow.

You see what’s the matter... Let’s talk openly. Men are lustful animals. They always need sex. Whether married or not. Even if he is 20 years old, even if he is 50. Rich or poor, ugly or handsome, a young sexy male fucker-bachelor or a modest middle-aged fat man-loser-married. In sadness or joy, in grief or resentment, men always want sex.

Of course, the frequency of the question varies from man to man. Everyone's libido is different - some people want sex 5 times a week, for others, once will be enough. This doesn't change the essence. The bottom line is that regardless of his character, he expects that because he is with a woman and he has a relationship with her, this automatically implies regular sex with her Always.

Yes, yes, I know what you might say. “It is not my responsibility to satisfy him.” “I’m not a prostitute for him, I’m the wife and mother of his children,” “Sex is not the most important thing.” But here's the thing - if you marry him, if you want a happy relationship, and your relationship is monogamous, I have news for you. It is your responsibility to fuck your husband. And for your husband, sex is very important, even if it is not the most important thing in a marital relationship. Why is this so important to him? Because he is not only a caring father and a faithful husband, but also a lustful animal, as I mentioned above.

Does this mean that I blame or reproach women? In no case! . Therefore, you should go through the husbands.

Husbands, come to your senses! Did you really expect that the honeymoon you had at sea, when you fucked your newly minted wife several times a day, was the norm? Or is the first year of your relationship the way it will always be? I have news for you - women are biologically designed in such a way that they get tired of the same man in a long-term monogamous relationship over time.

Do you know why? Because the genetic code that people carry within themselves has not changed for millions of years. And this code programmed women to search for a suitable male who would provide them with offspring and protect these offspring (amusingly, these two roles can be performed separately by two different men). How long does it need to be protected before it gets back on its feet and can escape? 20 years? 15 years? 10 years? No, fewer years than you have fingers on one hand.

Therefore, from a biological point of view, a woman is “not interested” in sleeping with you for 20 years the way she was in the early years of your marriage. Because if you have been living together for a long time, then from a biological, sexual, animal point of view, you are no longer perceived by a woman as the man with whom she sleeps. At least not as much as it was before. Now you are more like a relative to her, and biology does not allow sleeping with relatives.

What about emotions? We are not animals, we are people, and not everything is controlled by biology. Yes, that’s true, not everything is decided by biology. But emotions are exactly the same biology, and they serve to ensure that you carry out your biological program. Your male biology has programmed you to have sex throughout your life. The point is not that we have more than just biology. The bottom line is that the biology of men and women when it comes to the sexual component of relationships is completely different. She needs to get offspring from a quality male from sex. And you, men, need sex to spread your biological material throughout planet Earth. And no social dressing from above will be able to drown out this fundamental difference between male and female biology, no matter how society denies it, trying to equalize men and women or reduce the importance of biology to nothing.

What does all this mean in terms of the subject matter of this site? After all, the site is not dedicated to evolutionary psychology, but to resentment. And this means the same thing as always. on his wife, man. If you don’t like that the frequency of sex is decreasing, write it down on paper. And then, when you clear out the resentment and see the situation as it is, you can decide what to do. And perhaps you will understand that from now on you can no longer count on the same woman to be the source of your male joy and satisfaction throughout your life. But more on that another time...

2. Permanent commands. We are talking here about women with a more dominant character. Such women consider themselves “strong and independent,” and in practice this is expressed in attempts to constantly control the situation. If the situation does not correspond to the scenario of events, directives are issued to correct the vector. Such women have a vector for everything, including their husband. So it falls to him, the poor fellow.

Here again, men, wake up! A woman commands you only because you allow her. Yes, there are men who like to submit to a woman, but this is not about them. They do not feel offended by this type of communication with a woman. Therefore, if you are reading these lines, most likely you are not one of them. Clean your brains, remove all your fears and limiting beliefs that make you unable to resist a woman. And then it will be clear what to do.

3. Attempts to change it. Women get married expecting a man to change over time. Men get married hoping the woman will never change. Please, here's Venus and Mars, that's all. A man gets married, hoping that everything will be as it was at the very beginning. Stable relationships are those that do not change.

Give a man a beautiful, smart, cool woman with big breasts and/or a firm ass + a set of all the qualities he likes, and he will be happy. As long as it never changes, it always remains as it is.

But this is only from a male point of view. From a female point of view, stable relationships are those that have development. Women are more dynamic creatures than men.

Women, especially those with a dominant character, expect that a man will adapt to new circumstances and, as a result, change if necessary.

Amendment - change if necessary to her. Personally, he may have no intention of changing, because why? And so everything is fine. But the fact that his wife constantly criticizes him and hints that he shouldn’t do this, or that he needs to do better, over time begins to settle in him in the form of resentment.

4. Excessive use of phrases “You always...”, “You never...”, etc. Oh, women love it. “You never help my mom.” “You always leave the toilet seat up.” Well, are you really ready to swear that he Always is doing something there or never Is there something it doesn't do? You don't have to answer, I already know the answer.

Again, the trick is the difference between the communication styles of men and women. The fact is that for men and women these words mean different things. For a man, the words “always” and “never” are determined by their lexical meanings, which can be looked up in an explanatory dictionary. For a woman, these words are subordinated to the expression of the emotions that she experiences at one time or another. And if the emotions are strong enough, they bypass the linguistic filters in a woman’s head, and are ultimately displayed as the words “always” and “never.”

Men, don’t attach any importance to this - just get used to the fact that women work this way - there will be less resentment. Don’t cling to the words, you are taking them out of context - the context of her emotional state here and now. And the resentment that you have already accumulated - what do we do with it? We are working on it, of course. Without pity.

5. Making him responsible for his own emotional well-being. A caveat should be made that not only women do this, everyone does it. And men, and old people, and children. And in relation to everything around. It’s not me who bears the grudge, it’s you who offended me. It’s not me who is a fool and a lazy person, it’s the state that is bad and steals. Etc.

But still, if we compare men and women in marital relationships, women more often behave with men in such a way that it is the husband’s fault that she is feeling bad at heart. There is an interesting apparent contradiction. On the one hand, women are more emotional, but on the other hand, they are less likely to realize what causes their emotions. And as a result, they do not realize that when they blame their husband for their emotions, nothing changes. He doesn't understand what he can do with you. Except to apologize for nothing automatically so that you calm down.

But men, again, the responsibility for the offense is on you. You, too, do not shine with awareness if you suffer from such situations. After all, what happened was that your wife directed her bad mood at you, and you already formed a feeling of guilt in yourself. Then you take responsibility for her bad mood and begin to accumulate resentment, slowly hating yourself more and more along the way. No problem, work it out.

6. Indifference to his efforts. Do you want to hurt your husband? Stop appreciating what he regularly does for you and your children.

A single man does not need so much money to maintain his existence at the same level. This means that a lot of his motivation to work harder is you and perhaps your children. Unfortunately, this is often not realized or forgotten over time.

A single man does not need to help your mother, fool himself by communicating with your relatives, or be faithful for decades. Unfortunately, this is often not realized or forgotten over time.

I by no means mean that men in marital relationships make greater efforts to maintain them than women. Not at all. Forgetfulness towards each other is a universal human flaw that affects both men and women. Fortunately, it is possible to fight it - the elaborations were invented for a reason.

Work it out, husbands and wives!

What is the conclusion from all this? There are two of them. The first is mutual understanding between men and women and a conscious attitude towards how differently women and men perceive reality and communicate - this is the key to harmonious relationships. Second, if you have a grudge against your marriage partner, work through it! At the same time, in the process of clearing your brain, you will acquire the necessary transparency of awareness so that you will not have such problems in the future, regardless of your gender or marital status.

An eternally dissatisfied wife or problems are not out of nowhere.

Hello, dear readers of the blog site! There are crises in any family; you must first learn to recognize them and then overcome them. Otherwise, you can decide that everything between you is over, love has passed, the tomatoes have wilted. Or something like that.

If you start to notice that your relationship has deteriorated, and you don’t like it too much, think and be sure to determine the reason for this. Most likely, both spouses do not understand each other, so it is necessary to evaluate their behavior from the outside.

What happens to a man from a woman's point of view?

She tries her best, does all the housework, washes, cleans, cooks, but he doesn’t care. Not only that, he also manipulates his wife’s feelings, she begins to think that she is to blame for everything.

The man doesn’t understand how bad she feels, refuses to talk about important topics, brushes aside the problems that exist. The husband moves away and begins to live on his own, which is completely unbearable. And you have to endure, remain silent, or even create scandals. But all these measures only make it worse and worse.

Is it possible to live like neighbors if just recently there was passionate love? And where did she go if she has feelings, but she can’t talk about it all?! Men really don’t like such conversations and avoid them in every possible way.

When cooling has set in, and you feel that it is impossible to live like this any longer, determine what feelings you are experiencing. If you experience the same emotions every time, it is quite possible that you are being manipulated. Yes, men can do this too.

For example, you want to talk and tell about your problems, but your husband turns everything around in such a way that you feel guilty, annoyed, you start to think badly about yourself, your self-esteem drops. And all this makes you feel very bad. Who is to blame for this?

A man, his selfishness, thick skin, maybe he stopped loving you a long time ago, he has someone else. You can think a lot, but until you talk, you will never know the truth. And you will begin to blame yourself, your unsuccessful personal life and bad luck.

What happens to the wife from the man's point of view?

And he is literally infuriated by the fact that his woman is constantly dissatisfied. What she is dissatisfied with is impossible to understand! It’s just that the wife doesn’t smile, grumbles, swears, says some unpleasant words to him, hurts his pride and doesn’t even apologize.

A man, if his beloved woman is with him, does everything in his power to make her happy. When she is happy, he becomes a happy person. How does he understand that his wife is happy? By her behavior, by her words, by her smile, in her attitude towards him personally.

How is your wife behaving? She provokes conflicts and constantly asks the terrible question: “Do you love me?” Throws tantrums at the slightest provocation. Or he remains silent, pretending that his husband is not nearby. And he remains silent for several days in a row!

On purpose, or what? He probably wants to drive the man crazy!

The husband cannot understand that he is simply being raised this way, because it is too difficult for him. He doesn’t care about his wife’s emotions at all. Why? And men don’t distinguish between women’s emotions at all.

Therefore, you need to use such a simple method as explaining what you don’t like.