In gynecology, a new term "psychological infertility" has appeared, which means that an absolutely healthy couple cannot have a child. Such a diagnosis is made to a woman when the long-awaited pregnancy does not occur for two years of marriage. Moreover, the physiological reasons for childlessness have not been identified in more than one partner.
Main reasons
Doctors have found that a woman's reproductive function directly depends on the emotional state of the fair sex, this is due to a high level of sensitivity to external influences.
The female nervous system is very vulnerable and it often fails with adverse psychological factors. And this mechanism triggers a complex process that blocks a woman's ability to get pregnant or bear a baby. Usually there is tension, periodically there is an unreasonable feeling of fear, discomfort grows, and in the future tantrums can be observed, even for no apparent reason.
Such a state is not groundless, since there are some psychological factors that served as the basis for the creation of internal conflict.
These include:
- negative experience with a previous pregnancy;
- family conflicts;
- fear of losing a figure after the birth of a child or the attention of a husband;
- psychological trauma received in childhood due to unfavorable experiences in the family of their parents (family breakdown, indifference to oneself, aggression or violence);
- fear of losing status at work or not getting a promotion;
- the desire to have a child, reaching the obsessive state;
- pressure from the husband and loved ones seeking to help get pregnant, advice and even excessive control over diet and lifestyle can be the cause of psychological infertility;
- fear that the birth of a baby will change the usual rhythm and add worries;
- psychological unpreparedness for motherhood.
These are the main reasons for the development of psychological infertility, each woman is individual and, as a rule, not one factor is present, but several at once.
Emotions and Consequences
After the diagnosis is made, negative experiences arise, a feeling of guilt or self-inferiority arises, which can develop into depression. Usually a woman goes through them in stages:
- The first days there is stress and shock, complete indifference to everything that happens and reflections on the meaninglessness of life.
- Further, denial begins and disagreement with the diagnosis is expressed, which passes, accompanied by violent tantrums.
- Then there is a breakdown and a feeling of guilt takes possession of the woman.
- In the future, without the intervention of specialists and the support of loved ones, depression begins.
- Distortion of personal characteristics occurs, the family often breaks up.
How to treat?
In order not to lead to irreversible consequences, treatment should be started immediately. Psychological infertility is curable, but it takes dedication and time. It should be noted that it is necessary not to self-medicate, but to seek help from a doctor. A perinatal psychologist deals with such violations, regular visits to which will help to cope with this problem.
Be sure to watch this educational video:
Experts have identified several areas in which work or impact occurs. The patient is offered various trainings, yoga classes, relaxation and visualization. Only this kind of practice allows you to influence the psyche and subconsciousness of a person, completely eliminating the problem.
Psychological programs
These programs are based on:
- self-hypnosis;
- group lessons;
- positive visualization and getting rid of negative thoughts and a dangerous depressing state.
So, what is each of them:
- Self-hypnosis- this is a clearly formulated, only positive text, which is offered by a psychologist. His task is to introduce life-affirming positions into the subconscious, bring their work to automatism and make them basic for the individual. To do this, you need to repeat and pronounce these phrases daily. In the future, when a woman develops a positive basis, self-confidence appears, the text proposed by a specialist can be finalized independently, adding to it something of her own, but only positive content.
- Group lessons- are required and very helpful. It is worth remembering that a person is not only a person, but also a social individual, and for full development and psychological health, he needs communication, which should always be kept on a positive note. This will save you from depression and internal conflicts. In this case, such auto-trainings are useful in that they show a woman clearly that she is not alone in her trouble, that there are couples who experience similar difficulties and that they strive (and certainly succeed!) To overcome them. At meetings, women support each other, share positive experiences (and there is certainly such an example in the group), this increases confidence, relieves tension and gives strength to continue working on this problem.
- Visualization- this technique is a mental representation of someone's process or action, based on positive emotions, necessarily with a favorable result. Experts have revealed that the human brain has unlimited resources, which, with the right attitude, can work miracles and work for creation. In this case, a woman should imagine how a new life is being born in her, that nerve impulses emanating from the brain normalize the work of the reproductive system and other organs.
Physical Education
But to find happiness in the family in the form of a long-awaited baby, many psychologists recommend strengthening not only psychological health. You also need to pay attention to the body. You can pick up a number of simple physical exercises, for example, from yoga, Pilates, etc. in these practices, there is a number of practical exercises dealing specifically with the problem of psychological infertility.
You can change your diet a little, it is known that some foods can inhibit sexual function in general, while others, on the contrary, activate its strength.
To do this, you should visit a nutritionist. We must not forget about relaxation, being constantly in nervous tension, completely subordinating personal life to counting favorable days (ovulation) for conception, even the ability to do so is lost. Many couples noted that the long-awaited pregnancy came unexpectedly, not even on the "proper" days.
Self-medication
The first step is to change the environment, this is to take a vacation and go on a trip. If this is not possible, then you can start repairing. To create a positive atmosphere, it is recommended to have an interesting hobby, and also to attend various events with your partner more often.
The cause of this disease is in the psychological mood, and it can always be changed, but for this you need to gain determination and patience. Only after working on yourself is the long-awaited happiness and the appearance of a healthy baby possible.
Do not forget to write comments, rate the article with stars, share the article on social networks. Tell us about your experience in treating psychological infertility - it should help us all. Thanks for reading and watching.
If you, again and again, have one strip on the test, but there are no obvious objective reasons for the absence of pregnancy and you once again fall into depression - read our article, suddenly it will help you to understand yourself and understand what psychological infertility is.
Psychological infertility in women
Today it is one of the most basic and first. When young couples decide to start a family, they do not even have any possible problems with them. And when, after all, nothing works out, the future parents begin to analyze the question with passion: "Why can't I get pregnant ?!" And then the saddest thing begins: endless trips to doctors who, at best, find a possible problem (there may be several problems) and a protracted process of treatment begins, in which the spouses begin to suffer financial losses and losses of time and nerves. However, this is not all, because it so happens that doctors cannot find a clear reason, and still cannot get pregnant. More often than not, young couples, having learned about the absence of problems, begin to “try hard”, trying to create a small miracle. In any case: whether the doctor finds you have any sores or not, but when you cannot get pregnant for some vague reasons that you yourself do not understand - disappointments begin, which like a snowball roll over and over again when you see one line on the dough.
Gradually, all this is so aggravated that the expectant mother begins to “mania”. Endless ovulation tests, a bunch of programs in your smartphone that track your cycle, thermometers to measure basal temperature and much more. Also, behavior is inherent in which a woman every month with great hope catches in herself the feeling of the slightest ailment, in the hope that here it is: the cherished pregnancy. Then they begin to concentrate on all topics that directly or indirectly relate to children or pregnancy: suddenly, by chance, you come across a film where young mothers are walking in crowds with strollers or acquaintances are all interested: “ well, when will you succeed?”.
In general, this whole unhealthy psychological process in the head of a woman who wants to become a mother is called psychological infertility. Why this leads to this and how it appears, we will try to figure it out below.
Why does psychological infertility occur?
All of the above processes lead to constant feelings in a woman, such as:
- Depression
- Feeling of own failure
- Inferiority
- Lack of self-realization
All these are Psychological problems of infertility. All these feelings depress the woman's psyche so much that they become the number one reason for the inability to get pregnant. After all, the treatment is over, a lot of money has been spent, but there is no pregnancy. These are the psychological causes of infertility in women. This creates a deep sense of oppression that serves as a barrier. When this happens, it is called psychological infertility.
Don't be discouraged right away: today, a third of all married couples have this problem, and there actually are solutions. And the reason for such couples is all the same emotions that strain the nervous system so much that it begins to defend itself and in order to preserve the body's resources, it turns off the reproductive function. Here the problem is more psychological than biological, and therefore an intelligent psychologist can help you. Psychologists divide the main causes of psychological infertility into two types:
- Traumatic experiences in the past. For example, if a woman has experienced sexual abuse or grew up in a bad family and now does not want to repeat the experience of her parents.
- Uncertain psychological present. For example, if the expectant mother has not figured out her priorities, why does she need a child right now, or it may be better to advance in her career first.
Fears and psychological infertility
Also, certain psychological fears can be the cause of infertility in a woman. The most common ones are:
- Fear of the unknown future. “How am I going to work ?!”, “Is a baby healthy to be born ?!”, “What if giving birth is very painful?” and the like.
- There may also be uncertainty about the future relationship with the spouse after the birth of the child.
- Fear of changes in appearance.
Because of these fears, a woman cannot understand herself and fish out the true causes and primary sources of the problem of psychological infertility. In this case, help should be sought from a good qualified psychologist. So we got to the main question: How to fight, treat, if you like, with psychological infertility?
Psychological infertility - how to get rid of?
In order to overcome your inner fears and disappointments and admit that they really are, you need to understand yourself. begins with this. Turn to a psychologist or become a psychologist for yourself. Understand yourself and honestly answer the questions:
- Why do I need a child?
- Do I want a child for some personal, selfish purpose? After all, this way you have more chances that nothing will work out, since you sincerely do not want a child.
- Do I sincerely want a baby?
All these questions help to determine exactly your psychotype. After all, psychologists have long been paying attention to the fact that psychological infertility is inherent in women who want to be extremely guarded by their husbands and women who are purposeful and achieve their plans by all means. That those that other women are very emotional in their desires, which also interferes with pregnancy. It is very important for you to relax emotionally and reduce the "degree" of your emotions, as they say, to let go of the situation. And in general, if you like, pregnancy, and then the birth of a child, is a sacrament that occurs by the will of God, and you just need to assign your problem to something that is above all of us. Thinking from this point of view, you will relax and notice that the problem gradually disappears from your head and soul. The main thing is to sincerely believe. Of course, someone will say that this is nonsense, but this is exactly what will help to relax your psyche, because for sure you will not deny that for couples who are frivolous about this issue, who do not plan anything, pregnancy comes easier and faster, proceeds without unnecessary complications. So next an important thesis - for those who want a child too much, an obstacle to pregnancy is formed.
Obsessing over the problem prevents pregnancy
If you have already passed all the tests, passed all the tests, cured all possible and impossible ailments in yourself and your spouse, and pregnancy still does not come, and you continue to do something special for the onset of pregnancy, then this only aggravates the situation. All couples faced with this problem will tell you as one - that as soon as they let the situation go downwind, everything worked out right away. Of course, this does not apply to infertility due to physiological reasons for a woman or a man. In other words try to move away from the topic of conception and switch to something else:
- Trips
- Vacation
- Hobby
- Spending time with your husband or family
- Leisure sports, fitness, swimming pool
To the extent that there are times when a family that has adopted a child suddenly becomes pregnant with their child. When the mother-to-be is overwhelmed by the emotions of caring for the child and inner peace and tranquility sets in. Psychological suffering recedes and pregnancy begins.
Finally, about the psychological readiness for pregnancy
Of course, after reading all of the above, you will probably think that it is all easy to write, say, but difficult to put into practice and that it is unlikely to help you. It is extremely wrong to think so, because you again drive yourself into negativity and everything repeats itself in a circle.
- Learn to cultivate positive emotions in yourself.
- Communicate with pregnant mothers, not from the position of envy, but sincere joy for their happiness of motherhood.
- Look at yourself from the outside: you are healthy and full of energy, you have everything you need, how can you fail to get pregnant? You will definitely succeed.
- By including positive emotions by willpower, you will also turn on your reproductive mechanism in parallel.
- Shopping, gyms, massages - all this will help you keep on a positive wave. The main thing is to kill in yourself the feeling of hopelessness and melancholy.
In short, to summarize, the situation itself can change if you change your attitude towards it. Of course, you can try to promote conception in various ways, such, just be sure to consult with your doctor first if you can do this. After all, the problem of psychological infertility from the name determines that the problem is in your head, which means that by changing your attitude to the problem by willpower, you will solve the problem itself. So put aside the table and auspicious days, stop buying pregnancy tests and come what may. Also read about how this might help you. Love your husband and be happy alone, because very soon you may not even be allowed to sleep normally at night 😉
Physiologically, everything is in order ...
But a woman cannot get pregnant or bear a baby, even if she already has a child. Then there are reasons to talk about psychological infertility.
This is a voluminous topic, and today we will not dwell on the causes of psychological infertility, but focus on is a psychological correction of this condition possible.
- What can and should be done on their own?
- What methods does perinatal psychology use?
- Is there a difference between male and female infertility?
Before offering a woman steps to overcome psychological infertility, it is necessary to deal with the psychological causes of infertility. Without understanding the reasons, it is impossible to go further.
There are many reasons for psychological infertility.
As I wrote in my article "Childless marriage", a number of doctors, psychologists, psychoanalysts, psychotherapists of bodily practices were conducted on the subject of what lies at the heart of infertility and how to overcome it?
So, at the heart of psychological infertility are primarily fears, tension, inability to relax, anxiety. And every time they get stronger. The reaction of women to infertility is different: from deep depression to hatred of those who have small children. They cannot go to visit where there are children, it upsets them, makes them angry, annoying. And at the same time, they want to have their own children.
But the paradox is that with deeper work it becomes clear: in fact, the woman is not ready or even does not want to have children. At the consultation, it turns out that the child must be given birth, tk. it is accepted in society, it will give a number of benefits, it is a way not to go to work, it is a solution to some problems. And, as luck would have it, from a woman’s point of view, she doesn’t give birth. Therefore, first of all, I find out with various diagnostic techniques, and how really a woman needs a child. What is she ready to give birth to a child? What did you do?
In this case, hypnoanalysis helps a lot, to understand true desires, needs, opportunities. To give birth for what and for whom. What are expected with the appearance of a child? Understand expectations from childbirth?
I have had cases when women talked about their infertility, came to deal with it, and at the second or third meeting it suddenly turned out that there is, in principle, no intimate relationship between husband and wife, or they use contraceptives. So it happens.
Overcoming psychological infertility is a complex of measures. This is work at the level of body and mind. Body-oriented therapy, holistic massage, relaxation and stress relief techniques, and work with fears work well. Art therapy techniques work well, including painting and other creative work.
In the case of a woman with a lot of weight, sometimes weight loss alone helps. And in another case, a woman needs, on the contrary, to eat better.
With the help of a psychotherapist, if necessary, improve family relationships. Enjoy the relationship with your husband, not turn it into work.
And, of course, it also happens when everything has been tried, all hope for the birth of a child has already been lost, and suddenly a MIRACLE happens. The woman became pregnant and later safely gave birth to a baby.
A man rarely, but comes to a psychotherapist. And here, too, we understand the problem, the psychological reasons, and then with what comes to the surface from the subconscious - we work with this material. It also happens that, like a woman, a man does not really want to have a child. Although he does not voice it in front of a woman.
To summarize:
we work with the identification of psychological reasons, the elimination of these reasons. We work with emerging doubts, feelings of shame, fear.
We teach relaxation and stress relief techniques. And there, if everything goes right, a very important event in the family will take place - the birth of a long-awaited child.
With psychological infertility, I like the way the body-oriented psychotherapy line works. In line with this trend, the main cause of infertility is considered the fear of losing control over your body. Yes, yes, after all, both during pregnancy and during childbirth, another living being controls the body. This fact will be confirmed by any obstetrician-gynecologist: when to begin to be born, it is the child's organism that controls this process, that is, it is in charge here.
Well, let's say, you say, but is it so scary not to control the process? My answer is yes, for women suffering from psychological infertility, it is scary and very much. After all, they are not friends with their bodies, habitually suppressing their feelings and living exclusively with their heads. It takes the darkness of energy to keep everything under control, to monitor and manage everything. It is no coincidence that such people are tormented by nightmares and total fatigue.
What is the way out? He is aware of his suppressed feelings, their experience and in the future in the formation of new habits to react when a woman is congruent with her feelings and lets go of control where possible. That's all.
I myself wonder if there are psychological differences in infertility in men and women. But so far I have managed to work on this topic only with women, so I will not undertake to compare.
In my opinion, it is very difficult, if not impossible, to help yourself in the treatment of psychological infertility on your own. It's just the reasons. It's hard to answer without talking about them.
Women who have difficulty in conceiving and carrying, unconsciously expect an attack from the outside world almost all the time (for example, accusations). The body is therefore in constant tension. For the full functioning of the reproductive organs, relaxation and good blood supply are necessary, which is impossible with a sufficiently strong constant tension. It is difficult for a woman to even notice and realize this stress on her own (my clients did not manage to do this from the first meeting), and even more so to track down its causes and cope with them. If this was realized easily, there would not be such a force of tension.
In the process of working with the client, we gradually find those subtle features of his sense of himself, which are difficult to notice, but which create psychological sterility.
In short, the body seems to say: "I am defending myself !!!". And this is more important for him than conception. In therapy, it becomes possible to find those dangers from which it is important to be protected, and to master new methods of protection - already without the side effects in the form of infertility.
An additional method (from body therapy) can, at later stages of therapy, "disperse" the blood for a faster process of conception - the exercise "Sponge" Reich.
But, in my opinion, you can do without it.
I would also like to add that a very significant component in this topic is the psychological pressure on a woman who is experiencing difficulties with conception from relatives and friends. This only adds to the tension and exacerbates the situation. After all, a woman is already experiencing difficult experiences about the fact that she does not yet have a child.
Of course, psychological correction of psychological infertility is possible. This is proved by my experience, and the experience of my colleagues, and the emergence of such a branch of practical psychology as perinatal psychology.
It is important and necessary to start independent work in order to figure out what can hinder / restrain / stop the onset of the long-awaited pregnancy or paternity.
I will try, rather tentatively and rather roughly, to give a possible scheme of work in this direction, which everyone (mother or father) can carry out independently. And, if necessary, seek psychological help / support / accompaniment when faced with strong emotions, unexpected discoveries or things that you are not ready / cannot / cannot / do not know how to cope with alone.
Step one.
Often, when we want something, but do not implement (do not do or cannot for various reasons), then there is a kind of splitting into two parts, between which there is a latent or explicit conflict.
In this case, there is one part that wants a child. And the other part that doesn't want to (for example, is afraid).
And you can do the following exercise - prescribe, without showing anyone and trying to be as honest with yourself as possible, first from the part that wants the child:
- for example, why do you need a child?
- Why do you want to become a mother / father?
- What positive changes do you expect in your life?
- What value will your child bring to your life?
- How will your relationship with your parents change once you have a baby?
And from the part that doesn't want:
- What will you lose with the appearance of a child in your life?
- What do you have to give up?
- What happens if your expectations are not met and everything does not happen as you imagine?
- How will you feel if, with the arrival of the child, you increasingly notice that you are becoming like your parent (mother / father)?
- How will you feel if the child is completely different than you imagine?
Step two.
Relationships with our children often reproduce family scenarios - whether we like it or not, we are the children of our parents. Therefore, it is important to understand the relationship with their parents: for men, first of all, with the relationship with the father, for women - with the mother. Even those who are absent for various reasons, for example, the deceased. Even if the parent is not around (we have never seen him), this does not mean that we have no relationship with him, that we do not think about him, do not feel different feelings, do not fantasize or do not imagine, but "what would have happened, if".
Perhaps this stage is one of the most difficult. Because there are many steps and pitfalls here:
- become aware of your relationships, their strengths and limitations, in order to become stronger;
- Become aware of parental attitudes and messages in order to abandon those that do not suit you, and accept those that correspond to your values today;
- accept that you cannot change your parents or your childhood;
- letting go of what is holding you back in your relationship with the parent / parents in order to move towards your own parenting.
There is a lot of work going on here, and there are many exercises, for example, one of them is to write a letter to your parent, without the intention of sending it and without censorship, trying to reflect all your experiences (anger, claims, resentment, irritation, fears, despair, pain, gratitude , joy, pride and others). It is important to remember that anger and other so-called "negative" emotions do not cancel your love for your parent.
Step three.
Work on the attitude to your own body, acceptance of your own body, its changes and capabilities.
Here, exercises are aimed at studying your body, at developing sensitivity. This is helped by yoga, breathing exercises, meditation, sports, the main purpose of which is to help one understand the capabilities and limitations of one's body, to learn to trust one's bodily manifestations.
There are other steps that contribute to the advancement to motherhood / fatherhood, but these steps are already determined by a specialist in accordance with the individual characteristics of the person and his specific history.
I wish you to find the long-awaited motherhood / fatherhood!
There is no psychological infertility.
There is a temporary psycho-bodily refusal to conceive and carry. Moreover, a woman may also have physical manifestations of a body that refuses. These are vaginal dysbiosis, painful periods, low blood pressure, hormonal imbalance. Psyche and physics cannot be divided here.
Therefore, in working with women who want to get pregnant, bear, give birth and breastfeed, I use physical exercise, diet and psychotherapy in combination.
I am still sure that a woman's fears and complexes cannot make her sterile. The instinct of procreation and the biology of the body are stronger than the complexes that have appeared during a person's life, because instincts are more archaic, they are located in more ancient parts of the brain.
I am sure that the reason for many women's difficulties in motherhood is associated with a sedentary lifestyle to a greater extent. But, even knowing this, it is difficult for a woman to change it, because habits are already a layer of psychology. I help women overcome stereotypes of thinking, habits and change their lifestyle to a more favorable one for the birth of a child.
I am also sure that the problem of psycho-bodily abandonment of pregnancy lies in the area of poor contact with one's own body. It is not so important in conception, but it is important for gestation and childbirth. It takes time to work in this area, contact does not tolerate haste, this is an intimate and vulnerable territory. A woman's belly is the focus of life not only for herself, but also for a new person. Sacred area.
There were times when women passed on to each other in rituals and customs these meanings and symbols at the level of the psyche and body. But urban life has devalued these traditions, now we are returning to them, but consciously and through psychology.
Physiologically, everything is in order ... But a woman cannot get pregnant or bear a baby, even if she already has a child. Then there are reasons to talk about psychological infertility.
There are grounds before. If physiologically not everything is in order in a woman of reproductive age, this is also not just that. But there is simply not enough space to describe extensively how bodily manifestations and psychological states are related. I can only say that in my practice there were women with physical problems, but conservative treatment does not always give anything in this area. And yes, it happened that in the process of psychotherapy and deep investigations in thoughts, feelings and sensations, family scenarios, we found the origins of the physiological disorder itself, the violation went away, and with it infertility.
It also happens, of course, that according to analyzes and research, everything is fine, but pregnancy does not occur. But the mechanism is still the same: inside the body there is a latent protest, a certain part of the personality that is not ready / afraid for some reason. Which a woman herself cannot sometimes realize without the help of a specialist.
This is not surprising - after all, many do not even know that inside them there is that very unconscious, which is actually much more significant than consciousness, it also contains unconscious parts that people "displace" (forget) over time, various repressed emotions that accumulate and create tension inside the body (and sometimes provoke physical disorders), family scenarios that are transmitted at the behavioral and ideological level from generation to generation and create an accumulating internal prohibition on the topic of children and those fears that a woman may have already acquired through her own experience.
Actually, this is how correction is possible - the search for those parts of the personality in the subconscious mind that for some reason resist pregnancy and the child, the search for those family scenarios that can block childbirth, the search for those suppressed emotions that could lead to tensions in the body and physiological disorders ... All this together with a specialist can be found and processed.
What can and should be done on their own?
Find a good specialist. I do not discount books, articles and other supporting materials. However, if I have seen more than once how books, articles, trainings, questions and answers helped people solve problems in relationships, strengthen self-esteem, help themselves with fears in some way, deal with motives - then in the case of psychosomatics (and infertility is mostly and is solved within the framework of psychosomatic techniques) I very rarely observed successful cases of self-help.
And this is understandable - as a rule, such material lies too deeply in the psyche, and time in such cases usually runs out, and there is simply no time for a long search, reading a mass of literature, etc. I think that in this case it is really better and faster to trust a specialist.
What exactly is worth doing is to prepare yourself for such work in general. Conduct a minimal educational program for yourself: what is the unconscious, how the human psyche generally works, what the work with a psychologist is based on - this is definitely accessible and useful in such a situation.
Is there a difference between male and female infertility?
By and large, no. I have experience with both. The set of fears may differ, family scenarios for a man and a woman will also have their own shades, of course, but globally the structure itself does not differ. There are always protesting parts of the personality both in a man and in a woman, and they are always associated with some kind of threat, fear, which latently "closes" the possibility of childbearing. And the way of realizing suppressed feelings, scenarios and their elaboration is more common to all human beings than specifically gender.
What is most important for me in this topic is that the result was quite measurable: children were born. Therefore, the best confirmation that this works is such facts that can no longer be attributed to a "miracle" or an accident. Many of my clients (both sexes) have had a long history of planning and unsuccessful attempts (including IVF), and in some cases they lost hope. But with hard work, it still worked out more often than not. And I am sincerely glad for those men and women who dared to go through this very difficult path to the end and become parents.
You can teach a person to communicate successfully, you can help him deal with fears, get out of addicted relationships. This is all about what ALREADY EXISTS in the world and is 100% dependent on desire and perseverance.
Working with a family scenario, with accepting oneself as a woman, with the image of a mother and child, with true desires and fears, with relationships in a couple - all paths are correct. Will they lead to the goal of the desired child? For some, yes, for others, no. I remember the phrase of one priest: give time, place and opportunity for the divine to happen.
After all, this is not about the sufficiency of efforts, not about putting in order everything and everyone in your life - rather, about humility to accept, the courage to wait, about faith and perseverance. Therefore, in my groups for women with reproductive difficulties "Project_MAMA" I always start by removing anxiety, we are working on the ability to withstand uncertainty, remove unnecessary control.
Before accepting the new, you need to let go of the old from your life. Learn to listen to yourself, and not a hundred tips around. In such a difficult / complex / difficult problem as childlessness, there is a lack of ... ease.
And without her, no strength will be enough for years to strive for the cherished goal, while remaining a versatile interesting person who knows how to accept the world as it is and move on.
The companion of women suffering from infertility, as a rule, is a psychopathological state of varying severity, which results in the formation of stable stress in most of them.
Psychotherapy sessions that help manage stress significantly increase the chances of conception in women with infertility. These are the conclusions reached by American scientists who presented a report on their research at the annual conference of the European Society for Human Embryology and Reproduction. The study, conducted by employees of Emory University in Atlanta (Georgia), involved 18 women aged 25 to 35 years with a diagnosis of "secondary amenorrhea" - a prolonged menstrual irregularity. All participants were found to be deficient in gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH), which plays a critical role in the regulation of ovulation, in combination with increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol. The duration of menstrual irregularities was at least 6 months. The study participants were divided into two equal groups. The women included in the first group attended courses of cognitive-behavioral therapy for 20 weeks, designed to increase the self-esteem of patients and teach them to cope with increased loads and stress. Women in the second, control group did not receive any treatment.
By the end of the 20th week of the study, the menstrual cycle had recovered in 80% of women who attended psychotherapy sessions. In the control group, the restoration of the cycle occurred only in 25% of the participants.
Currently, Professor Bergi's team is preparing to conduct a new large-scale study designed to confirm the scientists' findings. The study is expected to involve 2,000 to 4,000 women with menstrual irregularities.
Scientists have guessed before that the emotional state of a woman has a significant impact on the likelihood of a successful conception of a child. Some time ago, an experiment was conducted in the Israeli clinic Tserifin, during which women who had just undergone artificial insemination were entertained and amused by professional mimes. According to Israeli scientists, the positive emotions caused by the presentation increased the effectiveness of the procedure by 20-35%.
Psychological (psychogenic, psychosomatic) infertility without changes in the woman's reproductive system is rare. This is the case when doctors do not identify the apparent causes of infertility, diagnose “infertility of unknown origin” (the first treatment option). In this situation, it is useful to pause in the constant race of examinations, listen to yourself and seek professional help from a psychotherapist in order to understand the causes of this condition.
For functional and immunological causes of infertility, psychotherapy is indicated, which will help to cope with chronic stress. This therapy takes time, but much less than the years spent trying to conceive on your own.
For many women, IVF becomes a way out of this situation. Psychotherapy should be carried out from the moment of entering the IVF program using a complex of psychotherapeutic techniques and consist of several stages:
The first stage is to reduce anxiety, the second is to neutralize negative experiences related to infertility and past treatment experience, the third is to correct pregnancy motivation, and the fourth is to achieve psychoemotional balance from the day of embryo transfer to the day of pregnancy diagnosis. Much attention in the course of psychotherapy should be given to creating an image of oneself as a pregnant woman. An equally significant position is the creation of a truly positive attitude towards treatment, without elements of fear and increased anxiety.
Often, those suffering from infertility for a long time, especially with prolonged and varied therapy, develop suspicion and anxiety: what are the true results of the course of treatment being carried out at the present time, do they correspond to the anticipated ones? Underestimation of such a circumstance, the absence of preventive psychotherapeutic influences may result in despair, when, according to the patients, “they give up, I want to drop everything and put an end to it”. Having lost confidence in the "official" medicine, such women often turn to psychics, healers, magicians, sorcerers and other "specialists" of this kind, wasting precious time. It is during this period of psychological overstrain that the patient especially needs moral support, persistent persuasion to achieve a complete cure. Our experience shows that negative examples (the possibility of ectopic pregnancy or spontaneous abortion) as incentives for the need to complete therapy are not effective enough. As a rule, another argument is much more convincing: pregnancy, to which a woman so strives, is only an intermediate goal, and the final goal is the birth of a healthy child, which is possible only with a healthy mother.
In such a situation, examples of the onset of pregnancy and the birth of healthy children with identical initial clinical data or / and (in a patient over 30 years of age) at the same age are very useful. The positive psychotherapeutic effect can be enhanced by showing photographs of children born; with a natural positive reaction to the child (“How cute!”), the woman can be reassured that her boy or girl will justly receive the same high rating.
The family atmosphere is often quite tense due to the infertility of the wife. Considering the duration, sometimes unsuccessful treatment, it is advisable for the doctor from the very beginning to enlist the support of his spouse and explain to him the importance of a strong “psychological rear” for a woman. The role of the husband in improving the psychoemotional state of the patient is especially great in a situation where the mother-in-law carries out a kind of "moral terror" against the infertile daughter-in-law, adjusting her son accordingly. In this case, it is very important not only to make the spouse an ally of the doctor, but also to reassure the woman with the message that the frequency of her husband's departure precisely because of the absence of a child is usually greatly exaggerated; this moment is basically just a pretext, masking any other reasons for the breakup of the family.
Therapy can be very helpful in reducing stress and other negative emotions that often come with infertility. Men and women can experience a variety of emotional and psychological responses to fertility problems and subsequent treatment. Feelings of loss, anger, jealousy, guilt, denial, shame, fear of abandonment, feelings of inadequacy are just a few of the feelings of people with fertility problems.
When undergoing fertility treatment, it is difficult not to let the problem affect your life. Many couples struggle to maintain a sense of harmony and balance, some are focused on the success or failure of various treatments. This can affect their sense of the future, and many couples feel that their lives and their future life plans suddenly seem very uncertain and unpredictable.
Psychotherapy can be helpful for a person who is struggling to cope with their own feelings about infertility or its treatment. Sometimes a healthy partner needs to sort out his feelings and emotions, see the future in a relationship with a loved one. Likewise, couples sometimes seek therapy together to explore and address the negative effects of infertility or its treatment on their relationship.
The psychologist clarifies the problems of the married couple, and then, in accordance with the presented problem, builds up the counseling process, working out with the family further steps to solve the problem.
When counseling a married couple, there are three main tasks to solve:
1.determine what the problem is;
2. to identify the state that the husband and wife want to achieve, and choose the direction of change (what to do? In which direction to move?);
3. help the spouses get there (how to do it?).
4. Find out the true desire of the woman. Why does she want to give birth to a child. Does she really want to have a baby or does she need it in order to:
Keep a husband or loved one in a civil marriage;
To be the same woman as others who have children, because it is so accepted;
To be needed by someone, to take care of someone;
Give birth to a child and get away from loneliness, etc.
If infertility was associated with psychological factors, which led to family and sexual disharmony, then you should think about restoring sexual harmony and take appropriate steps.
Relieving stress using relaxation techniques during sexual intercourse will allow spouses to relax and later have a chance to conceive a child.
If it is impossible to conceive a child for medical reasons, then together with a married couple, several options should be considered:
1. Adjustment of life goals;
2. Adoption of a child.
Whether it is personal psychotherapy or psychotherapy for a couple, counseling should be used to relieve the fear, insecurity and confusion that often comes with infertility.
The results of the research allow us to conclude that women suffering from infertility and seeking treatment in reproductive medicine clinics should not be left without psychotherapeutic support. The inclusion of psychocorrection in the complex therapy of female infertility contributes to a significant improvement in the psychoemotional state of patients and an increase in the effectiveness of treatment (pregnancy) by 1.5 times.
If, in the absence of health problems, attempts to conceive a child do not lead to the desired result, perhaps the reason lies in the psychological characteristics of the woman.Almost every obstetrician-gynecologist has two special categories of patients:
- unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant in the absence of health problems;
- trying to carry a child, which fails due to one or more miscarriages.
In both cases, women need not only the help of an obstetrician-gynecologist, but also a psychologist. It is the perinatal psychologist who will help these patients cope with the so-called psychological infertility, which prevents a woman from becoming the mother of the desired baby.
There are 3 types of psychological infertility:
- arising from external factors: lack of a separate living space, material wealth in the family, etc .;
- due to the woman's confidence in the violation of the reproductive system against the background of the absence of diseases;
- caused by psychological trauma in childhood: rape, poor parent-child relationship, etc.
The causes of psychological infertility
Psychological infertility is not associated with a woman's physical ailments. With such a diagnosis, the reproductive system of a potential expectant mother is "healthy". And pregnancy does not occur for one or several reasons, among which perinatal psychologists distinguish:
- fear of pregnancy;
- fear of the "biological clock" and, as a result, the obsessive thought that you need to give birth to a child before it's too late;
- problems in relationships with the future father;
- fear of losing attractiveness during pregnancy and after childbirth;
- pathologically strong desire to become a mother;
- fear of getting pregnant at the wrong time, which will disrupt career or other plans;
- unwillingness to be responsible for the child;
- perception of the child as a burden;
- fear of injury and pain during childbirth;
- fear of inability to financially provide for the child;
- persistent pressure from parents or husband about the desire to have grandchildren and children.
Factors of psychological infertility
Factor # 1: pregnancy as an obsession
In medicine, there is such a thing as "stress ovarian dysfunction." It occurs when a woman under constant stress and stress cannot get pregnant. Stress can be caused by problems at work, career advancement, problems in personal life, high physical activity, as well as an obsessive desire to have a child.
Repeated unsuccessful attempts to conceive a child lead a woman to the idea of inability to conceive a child and to the conclusion that she is childless, and sometimes even femininely inferior. This aggravates the stressful situation, under the influence of which the contractility of the fallopian tubes decreases, due to the movement of which the fertilized egg moves into the uterus, where it attaches to its wall. Changes take place in the ovaries: the follicle does not mature and a mature egg does not come out of it, ready for fertilization. The centers of the brain are also connected, which provokes hormonal disorders that reduce the likelihood of pregnancy.
Therefore, until a woman stops treating attempts to conceive a child as an obligatory "work" that must be done, a pregnancy test will not show her a positive result in the form of two cherished stripes.
Factor number 2: psychological unpreparedness for motherhood
The psychological unpreparedness of a woman for motherhood is also a barrier to the onset and development of pregnancy. It is known that a woman who has not yet decided to have a child can become pregnant, but a miscarriage will occur at a very early stage. And at the same time, the expectant mother does not even know that a new life has already existed in her body for some time.
The fact that there was a miscarriage will be evidenced by a longer and more abundant menstruation than usual. But women, unknowingly, can take this for a manifestation of stress, associate it with the use of drugs and other reasons, and some will not attach any importance to this fact at all. And this situation can arise repeatedly.
It is known that a man's body can produce antibodies to its own
sperm, reduce their motility and impair sperm quality if it
consciously or subconsciously does not want to have children in general or from a particular woman.
How to get rid of psychological infertility
In order for a pregnancy to occur, a woman needs to change her view of this event in her life:
- pass the necessary tests and undergo examinations to make sure that there are no problems with the health of the body and the reproductive system in particular;
- admit to yourself all the fears that arise at the thought of pregnancy, the birth of a child and the subsequent care of the baby;
- find the source of these fears;
- analyze the causes of fears and get rid of them;
- stop focusing on the strong urge to get pregnant, turning the process of conception into a daily “work”;
- not focus on the negative outcome of pregnancy - miscarriage - and fears that something might go wrong while waiting for the baby;
- find positive examples of women who, after giving birth, did not lose their visual attractiveness and did not turn into “desperate” housewives.
It is almost impossible to cope with psychological infertility on your own. In solving this problem, a perinatal psychologist and obstetrician-gynecologist can help, who will work together with the woman on the onset of the long-awaited pregnancy.
The help of a perinatal psychologist is the first step to motherhood
Psychological infertility is a problem that cannot be hidden in oneself. The more a woman plunges into her personal experiences, the more difficult the path of her rehabilitation will be. Therefore, if at the reception the obstetrician-gynecologist advises the patient to visit a perinatal psychologist, this recommendation should be heeded.
In the absence of problems with physical health, you can get rid of psychological infertility by identifying and analyzing the true reasons that prevent you from realizing the dream of motherhood or overcoming your fear of it. A confidential conversation with a perinatal psychologist can be the first step towards the desired pregnancy. One visit to this specialist is not enough, in most cases several consultations are necessary. Their number is individual for each woman. Only in the process of joint work of the patient, obstetrician-gynecologist and perinatal psychologist can a positive result be achieved - a long-awaited pregnancy.
Psychologically infertile couples can unconsciously interfere with themselves
to have children. For example, on the days of possible conception, situations arise,
excluding proximity: the spouses suddenly begin to quarrel, leave
on business trips or they have other urgent matters.
Galina Yaroshuk, Candidate of Medical Sciences, Professor, Clinical Psychologist:“Pregnancy of a woman is a mystery of nature. The brain plays a special role in normal physiology, especially the pituitary gland, which not only secretes a number of hormones, but also largely controls the entire hormonal system of the body. The causes of infertility can be at the unconscious level of our psyche. False pregnancy and psychological infertility are examples of the limitless possibilities of the psychosomatics of our body. An experienced psychotherapist will help a woman overcome psychological infertility. "
Irina Isaeva, obstetrician-gynecologist:“When working with infertile couples, in some cases I refer patients to a perinatal psychologist. The need for this arises when a woman is healthy from a gynecological point of view, but there are psychological prerequisites for infertility and the fact that pregnancy does not occur for more than one year with regular sexual activity.
Not all patients respond to this adequately and recognize the presence of a psychological component of infertility. Only a few are ready to visit a perinatal psychologist and an obstetrician-gynecologist at the same time to get the desired result in the form of a long-awaited pregnancy. "
Experts: Galina Yaroshuk, candidate of medical sciences, professor, clinical psychologist; Irina Isaeva, obstetrician-gynecologist
Elena Nersesyan-Brytkova
