"I am catastrophically unlucky in life", - complained a friend." I always step on the same rake, find myself in the same situations, and all the time I get the same result. I'm a failure! This is karma! "Well, and so on. She broke up with another guy, and he, like the previous ones, cheated on her with another. In principle, life" palms off "repetitive situations to everyone, as if laughing at us, developing events according to a certain scenario. You can, of course, consider it a curse, karma, or whatever, and continue living. I wonder if it is possible to somehow fight this?
With mother's milk
The child grows and is developing in a certain circle of people, in his own. Therefore, everything that he sees, hears and feels becomes his life program. You must admit that you cannot know that there is white chocolate if you have tried and seen only black, and have not even heard anything about white. Therefore, it is quite natural that a little daughter, seeing the relationship of her parents, determines in advance how she should behave with men (like a mother), and what kind of men they are (like a dad).
In advance programmed the scenario, against our will, manifests itself later in adulthood. Well, imagine if mom always made scandals for dad for any reason, what would their adult daughter do? Yes, exactly the same! The development of events in my daughter's life is predictable: to repeat the fate of her mother. And then we lament over karma! Instill in your children a positive attitude and program a sense of harmony. Then they will like their fate.
Habitual scenario
So we instilled from childhood, a clear understanding of "dark chocolate", and we are sure that we know how to act in a given situation. In addition to upbringing, we also got character, and over time we acquired a whole bunch of habits. Character and habits, along with upbringing, determine the development of the scenario of our future life. How do we deal with similar situations? The same, as they are accustomed to. Therefore, we get all the same results.
If you have a hot temper character, then you are easily pissed off. And if there is a habit that affects the personal space of other people (and inevitably affects), then you make your relationship with a person dependent on your habit. My friend has a habit of calling her boyfriend at the end of the working day to find out his further plans for the evening regarding her person. This is repeated daily. And with every guy she has a quarrel about this. Who can withstand such total control, and just an obsession ?! And the habit of making scenes against the backdrop of a zealous character? Dangerous mix! It also happens vice versa.
Too modest young woman is held captive by her shyness, and does not understand why all her dates end the same way - in no way. She just always behaves in her own style - constrained and strict, regardless of whether she likes the guy or not. Blindly following our habits and tastes, we choose not only the style of behavior in similar situations, but even men we like about the same type of appearance and with similar character traits. Of course, "they are all goats"! We ourselves choose these!
Break the vicious circle
Psychologists-esoteric they say that life sends us specifically to change, and until we learn them, the lessons will be repeated. In principle, life is not distinguished by a special variety of events. All traditional events alternate in a chaotic manner, and we continue to do as we used to, or as our parents taught us. Repeating our own mistakes in a circle, we get all the same results. To get a different result, you will have to abandon the usual behavior and attitudes. Let's try to do something unconventional.
The first thing to do do is to analyze all the significant events in your life, the result of which does not suit you, and to understand how we acted in them, how we reacted. And then develop the opposite strategy of action. For example, after doing an analysis of constant quarrels with one person, I realized that the reason for this result was my habit of arguing and proving my case.
And since he ended up on rarity stubborn (the same as me), then each new situation led us to a quarrel. I changed my strategy: I forced myself to agree with him on any issue, even if, in my opinion, he was wrong. Internally, I continued to argue, but outwardly I behaved completely opposite. And, lo and behold! Quarrels have stopped, relations have improved, and now, when such situations arise, I adhere to a new strategy of behavior.
Make over yourself an effort, break your stereotypes, habits, behavior. Step out of your family's traditions. Slow down the usual reaction, do everything differently, and "karma" will let you go. Are you a girl of strict rules and look down on them when meeting guys? Now take it, and smile at him warmly and openly, allow yourself to flirt a little. Are you accustomed to aggressively attacking men, showing them your charms? Learn to be shy and shy. You may need to read a book to master a new behavior strategy, or consult an experienced person. Take action! What's the use of just lamenting?
We become hostages their habits, their upbringing and character. Let's surprise life with new behavior, and then perhaps it will surprise us with new results.
The most unhappy people fear change the most. Minion McLaughlin.
It has been said more than once that mistakes are a sign that a person is not idle and mistakes are a necessary part of experience, a step to success. But there are mistakes that are made regularly, we get up on the same rake many times and, as a result, the already painfully familiar story of life is repeated many times. Such a peculiar chorus, a verse in the song of life. At the same time, you often realize that you are doing wrong and, realizing this, do the same. Or make a typical mistake without realizing it, feeling only unreasonable, inexplicable inner anxiety and anxiety, expecting the next crisis and not even trying to prevent it. And consider fate, the state, other people, an unhappy childhood, yourself to be guilty ...
Another common case of mistakes in our life. Imagine a familiar picture: an inspiring book on self-development fell into someone's hands, about how to change life for the better, and he caught fire with its content, admitted it was right, but ... continues to behave as before, postponed the implementation of a smart idea “until Monday” or I forgot altogether. It turns out that he did not receive any benefit from new or previously known information, effective, if used. What is this, a sign of laziness, lack of self-organization, passivity or something else? ...
So is there a way out? Why do we tend to repeat mistakes? When will life really change for the better?
Or another case. Let's say someone read, heard, got acquainted with an interesting idea of how to achieve success or become rich, beautiful, loved, famous, etc. personally does not suit him, in his case it will not work. Is it a mistake to think so? ..
Mistakes are anything that makes us feel bad, consciously or unconsciously. Something that prevents you from knowing the taste of life in all its diversity, moving along your individual path of life, in accordance with your inner rhythm. Truly happy people contribute to the happiness of others, or at least they don't get in the way of someone else's happiness. What is inside us, then we radiate outward, into the world around us. It is logical that sugar will spill out of the box with refined sugar, and gasoline will spill from a canister of gasoline, and not vice versa.
The parable "Why do they tie a cat".
Every time the guru and his disciples were going to pray, a cat would enter the ashram and disturb them, noisily playing with the rosary. The guru suggested that the disciples tie the cat during prayer. After the death of the guru, the cat continued to be tied. After the death of the cat, another was brought in the ashram to carefully follow the instructions of the guru about prayer. Centuries have passed. Scholarly followers of the guru wrote scholarly works that indicated that tying a cat during prayer is of particular importance.
Let's return to the actions that are performed with enviable constancy and with all their desire to do something differently, there are always similar rakes nearby. It is necessary to learn to accept your own choice, even an unconscious one. This "rake" is needed to make sure that such experience and previous beliefs are unreasonable. The more identical rakes, the more a certain belief was once learned, which now leads to these unfortunate rakes. Those. we need very strong evidence of how important it is to abandon old views and choose a different type of behavior.
After all any changes, even changes for the better, are always accompanied by disadvantages and inconveniences, as Arnold Bennett said.
And not always an inspiring book or film that demonstrates other options, different styles of thinking and activity can be such confirmation. You need to come to a revision of values and attitudes through personal experience, internal rethinking, otherwise no outside persuasion will help.
Joke. How many psychologists(substitute here at your discretion - advice from friends, family, books for self-development, educational films, etc.) need to change a light bulb? - One is enough if the light bulb is ready to change.
Your personal admonitions to yourself, self-criticism and self-motivation may be ineffective as long as you are not only with your mind, but also with your heart, gut, i.e. subconsciously you will not feel, will not accept the fact that there is no point in living like this any longer, it is impossible, there is not the slightest desire, there is no need that such a tactic of behavior has really outlived its usefulness. And then you will not need to convince yourself, force, persuade, you just take it and do it, you cannot but do (!) Something that will change your life for the better.
Many people who have achieved large-scale success have gone through a global crisis, transformation of their inner world before it, have revised their beliefs and values. Among them there are enough of those who are faced with a real death or a real threat to their lives or those close to them. This is a very compelling motive, a thousand times more effective than any book or movie.
But fortunately, it is not necessary to go to extremes, it is enough to once and for all realize the reasons for your actions and the behavior of other people. Real understanding, awareness frees you from self-criticism or feelings of dissatisfaction with yourself and others, it makes it possible to believe in the necessity and truth from the point of view of your personal experience and the current situation of all your life activity. Any behavior, no matter how useless or harmful it seems, is the only possible one at every moment of life.
Trust what is happening, believe yourself, even if it seems to you that you are wrong or others tell you about it - you are always right in your own way. Listen to your inner voice, rely on the undercurrent, and sooner or later it will carry you to the shore of your dreams.
And now two small projective tests “Your way of life” and “Master of your destiny”. These tests in pictures will slightly open the veil of the future and answer the question of what your life path will be if you adhere to the current lifestyle.
Test number 1. “Your road to life” (picture on the left). Instruction. You see in front of you an image of the surface of a certain continent. Pay attention to rivers, islets, forests. There is also a swamp, and even hills. Your task is to pave a road across the entire mainland, this is the first thing. And secondly, you will need to give a name to all rivers, forests, islets, capes and bays. Give your map a complete look.
Rating 5.00 (1 Vote)They often come up with a question: why Are the events in my life repeated? Who does it depend on: us or destiny? Can this be stopped?
For example, a girl got a new job and she really likes it. But some time passes, and there are a lot of reasons to drop everything and leave. Which, in fact, is what she does. Then the girl finds the next job. "Finally, it's definitely mine!" - our heroine rejoices, “I am happy to run to the office in the morning, ready to move mountains there!”. But after a while everything is wrong again ... The girl leaves. This scenario is repeated more than once.
Or in a relationship ... You meet, meet with completely different men, and as a result you notice the same development of events. They speak and act as if they had conspired. And you reproach yourself for “stepping on the same rake,” choosing the wrong men.
Familiar situations?
And how many stories I have about women who marry alcoholics, drug addicts or gambling addicts. How many people who are always in debt, how many girls who are being cheated on. You probably recognized yourself in some similar story.
So why is this happening? Let's figure it out.
Why do scenarios repeat in life?
Someone will say: "Fate!" Maybe you are right. But why did you get such a fate? How can this be changed? After all, it would be foolish to accept and carry the cross all my life.
Imagine how many events (circumstances) should develop in such a way that you find yourself in this place and at this time. The same circumstances should develop not only for you. You say: “But I don’t want this! How can I create events and attract people I don't like into my life? "
Every day you are faced with a choice. From insignificant moments: what time to leave the house, what meetings to schedule, which road to go, and so on ... to the important ones: in which house to buy an apartment, where to go to work, whom to marry. The further events of your life depend on what choice you make.
It may seem to you that a small decision cannot affect life. I assure you - it can!
Our life is like a spider's web, in which every thread is a variant of the road. It leads in the direction you have chosen. Depending on this choice, you appear in certain places and meet certain people.
"The same events are repeated until the lesson is learned."
There is a theory that life or the universe gives us lessons. O the same events will be repeated until the lesson is learned. Moreover, if you remain blind and continue to behave the same in repetitive events, the situation will worsen and the lesson will become more severe.
These events come to life,.
Generic scripts
"We all come from childhood." It is in childhood that our personality is formed. We are born to specific parents, in specific attitudes and environments. Unconsciously, we take for the truth how relationships in the family develop. This "tracing paper" is transferred to our perception of other people, work, health.
Generic scripts are very powerful. Our actions seem to be “programmed” to create just such situations. Can this be changed?
Life is a reflection of you
According to another theory, life— mirror you, and this means that the reasons must also be sought within. So how do you break the chain of recurring events and stop stepping on a rake?
In the language of psychology, fate is a life scenario. All moments of upbringing, attitudes, beliefs, fears, habits form a kind of life's web. And having understood what is behind this or that event, you can change it.
By changing yourself, you change your life.
Works great with changing a negative scenario to the one we want. In one session, we work with a huge layer of life events, once and for all change the mindset or traumatic experience transmitted through the ancestral line.
Believe me, you can change yourself, events in your life. Become a director, create your film, play your part. You can live the fate that you choose for yourself.
Your life is like a movie. Don't like the role? Go ahead! Create your own, take on a new one. Remember: anyone can be anyone!
This article will focus on destructive recurring events in our life, that is, about undesirable events that are repeated more than once, and about what hinders us and does not like, but still overtakes us. For example, someone is fired from work for the third time, someone gets divorced for the fourth time, and someone is simply late for the train all the time.
What is the reason for such misadventures?
When such repetitive events occur in our lives, we often tend to blame the current situation, bad bosses, and other people around us for them. Seeing the cause of repeated "bad" events for us in others is always our choice, and each of us has the right to do so. But if you choose a different path, shift the focus of attention to yourself and look for the internal reasons for what happened - this will provide you with huge previously unclaimed opportunities for your own development and harmonization of your life.
As in school, we all go through life lessons. But if at school we can go to the next class with deuces without having mastered any topic, then in life, until we learn to solve a certain kind of situation, we will meet with them. As if we were sitting in the same class until we have completely mastered all the material, regardless of how many years it takes, and maybe the whole life. Unfortunately, if the school program is unified, the ways of solving problems are obvious, then the life of each of us is unique, each solves his own problems, and the ways of solving them, as a rule, do not lie on the surface.
If such negative recurring events are present in your life, and you see their cause in other people and circumstances, this is the best way to avoid any changes in your life and continue to step on your favorite rake.
On the other hand, if recurring events in our life are a reason for you to turn inward and find an inner cause that creates a vicious circle, this will give you the opportunity to break it and get other, more appropriate results in your own life.
Recurring negative events are always information about us and for us, since they are based on our view of the world, belief, approach to life, which, on the one hand, is the cause of negative events, and on the other hand, is confirmed by them.
Here are some examples:
A lonely girl really wants to build a close relationship, but she cannot - young people leave her. Her perception of the world was influenced by a very great fear that she would be abandoned. It was this fear that caused the failed relationship, and also received confirmation after each breakup.
A man on whom, both in the family and at work, all those around him shift the solution of their problems, and at work - and the fulfillment of professional duties. He had a deep conviction that one can earn love and acceptance of other people only by being “good” for them, that is, by fulfilling all their requests.
A woman entrepreneur, has many projects, but she does not bring one to the end, as a result of which they are not implemented. She was characterized by a great fear of failure, which did not allow her to realize her plans; in her picture of the world, not starting a business was safer than starting and failing.
There is an exit!
If we want to get out of the vicious circle, we need to replace the destructive way of seeing the world with a harmonious, supportive worldview.
It is good if a professional psychologist helps with this, in this case his professional knowledge and experience and the position of an outside observer will help you.
You can stop a series of troubles by changing your inner world yourself, because after all, this is your path and a challenge to the world for you, and a psychologist can only help you learn your own lessons, but in no way go through them for you.
Treat such destructive events with gratitude, because they contain enormous potential for inner growth. Form an intention to understand what these events tell you, ask yourself what you can learn from them, what you can change in yourself. If you are open and ready to go beyond your usual worldview, you will begin to receive answers to your questions in a variety of forms - perhaps in the form of inner insights and ideas, or in the form of a randomly read article in a magazine, a book suddenly suggested by a friend, by accident overheard conversation. Remember that a correct question is half the answer and forms a channel through which information that is meaningful to you will flow.
If, instead of destructive, limiting beliefs and outlooks on life, you have supportive ones, the events in your life will change, and you can get out of the vicious circle.
Perhaps the materials on our site will help you cope with similar situations in life and make it more harmonious and happy.
Very often querent people (those who turn to me for fortune telling) are worried about the question why the same events and plots are repeated in their lives? Is it their fault?
Illustration: deviantart.com
Yes, they are involved. I am not saying that all events in life occur at the will of the person himself, but people can influence their fate - and very strongly.
Let's take an example. A woman meets the same type of men - lovers of intoxicating drinks. And every second, if not the first, her man is not indifferent to alcohol. Why?
Because. In her soul, a woman feels like a lifeguard. She needs to sacrifice herself, pull a person out of the swamp. Although in words, and maybe in her soul, she complains about her unenviable lot.
Another beauty does not understand why men bypass her? It seems that the figurine is chiseled and the face is doll-like, and they run to their neighbor Dasha and call her to the cinema, leaving the beauty alone with her image in the mirror.
Because people read from this girl that her puppetry is not only outside, but also inside. Why does a man need a doll? Maybe leave it as a gift to some friend.
The third woman clings to some gigolos. And she does not understand, paying for his next purchase in the supermarket, why does she constantly come across such men.
I do not urge everyone to change immediately and urgently. Everyone has their own psychotype and ideal, but a woman is obliged to love herself. And not for beautiful eyes, breasts, legs or ass, but for the fact that she - Nastya, Lena, Galya - is one such in the world and another second is exactly the same on the whole planet and will not be!
We are obliged to work on ourselves, to get better day by day, otherwise there will be no development and we will, at best, stagnate. But work and love are different things. Try to see your mistakes, accept them, learn to analyze them and, if possible, correct them. Do not in any way vilify yourself or engage in self-flagellation! It will bring nothing but depression and low self-esteem. Try to see the positive in everything. And in their mistakes too. Yes, today I stumbled, did the wrong, not what I wanted, and wrong, but I can clearly see what my mistake is. Tomorrow I will definitely work on myself and will not allow a repetition of this! And if I fail, I will take as much time as I need to work on the mistakes. The most important thing is that I see my goal and the road that I need to follow.
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Dear Kira! I just listened to our conversation again and felt an urgent need to thank you again. Right now, many months later. Because I then and I now are completely two different people. And all this thanks to you and that fence from Hagalaz, which fell out in the alignment. You were the beginning. I had to change a lot, the way of thinking, attitude towards life, towards people, towards myself. Work a lot on self-esteem, learn to accept yourself and love yourself, listen to yourself in order to accept and love others as they are. And as soon as the changes began inside, life outside immediately changed. I now love every moment of every day. Every morning somewhere in the sky I say "I will have a great day!" and every evening I say "Thank you!" And this is so amazing - I really have something to say thank you to the universe every night. Thanks again to you and your runes for everything!
I want to say a big thank you to Kira for her help. thank you! You helped me a lot. delved into my question, put everything on the shelves ... deep down I thought so, but I just could not understand and accept. but after your words, I will take action. you helped me understand who I am and how I need to behave! it became much easier for me after talking with you. thanks!
