Overseas grooms, in search of a successful marriage, turned their gaze and spiritual impulses towards Slavic brides. The annual increase in the number of registered international marriages is facilitated by the counter-desire of Slavic beauties to successfully marry a foreigner. The harsh times of the Iron Curtain have passed, and a fairly large part of the population of Russia and Ukraine is already quite loyal to mixed marriages.
Every bride began to think about how to marry a foreigner for various reasons. It’s great that now there are all the opportunities to make this dream come true.
Good or bad qualities do not depend on nationality, because in any country, among any people there are good husbands and bad ones. And yet, I’m sure it’s better not to rush into marriage like into a pool. Before getting married, decide, find out what can await you: where you will live, how you will build a family and raise your children. And most importantly, let's try to figure out what pros and cons you will get by marrying representatives of different nationalities.
I propose to start a whole series of articles in which we will discuss with you potential suitors from different countries.
I do not pretend to have the only correct opinion, any comments are welcome. Shall we discuss?
So... If you are thinking about how to marry a German, be prepared for the fact that there is a well-established opinion that marrying a German is easier than getting along with him.
It is often written about German men that they are relatively cold, dispassionate, stingy, and conservative. All this is really inherent in them, but not to such an extent as to consider them uninteresting and boring.
By marrying a German, you acquire the famous “Three Ks” - “Küche, Kinder, Kirche” - kitchen, children, church. This is German conservatism. German men are punctual, prudent, pedantic, but at the same time romantic, even sentimental.
Strengths of Germans as husbands:
Let's start with the fact that Germans take marriage very seriously.
Germans are ideal fathers. They love children, but do not allow them too much. In a German family, raising children with fists is not acceptable; they generally believe that a little person is also a person, and they take the child’s thoughts and statements seriously. German dads pay a lot of attention to their children, take part in their upbringing with pleasure and actively,
Germans are good husbands also because they love order in everything. In their head and in the surrounding space, everything is in its place, and events obey a clear plan. Helping around the house is not a problem for them; your husband will be happy to share all the housework responsibilities with you, and most importantly, most Germans know how and love to cook.
German men, for the most part, are very caring and romantic in relationships, and, importantly, they are used to showing their attitude in specific actions.
In family relationships, they cannot stand scandals and shouting, they seek stability and tranquility. Honesty and frankness as a trait of the German nation allows you to discuss any problematic situation and speak directly about your intentions. If there is a problem, you need to talk about it and solve it in a calm atmosphere, without raising your tone. Thus, they primarily care about the mental health of their children, not wanting to expose them to unnecessary stress.
Germans enjoy going on vacation with the whole family; they also most often spend weekends at home or go out with the whole family on picnics.
The Germans know how to rejoice no worse than any other nation; they are friendly and sociable, but restrained; breaking dishes in an emotional outburst is not their trait.
The ability to count money is more about thriftiness and prudence. Your German spouse should always have money in reserve, but this does not mean that you will be limited in funds, rather, on the contrary: you will always have money, since the Germans know how to competently plan the family budget and under no circumstances allow a situation in which they may be left without money.
German punctuality serves as an example of commitment and diligence. Dealing with punctual people is easy: if you make an appointment, the person will be on time. And if the concept of punctuality is foreign to you, it’s better for you not to have anything to do with the Germans, because they don’t forgive being late even for the first date.
Of course, German husbands also have some negative sides:
They can be overly economical, one might even say extremely economical. Our women often perceive this as stinginess. Although this disadvantage (is it a disadvantage?) is not a feature of the German nation exclusively. This is a trait that is inherent in almost all European men. They all count money and don’t like waste. Credits are not common among Germans; they rarely borrow. But they always have a tidy sum in their bank account to ensure confidence in the future. Therefore, you should not judge them too harshly for this not-so-bad trait: they were taught this way, so we must take this trait of their character for granted.
Separate budget. The Germans believe that love is love and money is money, and they try not to confuse these two concepts. That is, even loving spouses can quite often have a separate account, a separate budget, and each has their own responsibilities in the family to pay certain bills. You just need to take it easier if you have already decided to marry a German. If in a serious relationship, what is important to you, above all, is stability and reliability, and the difference in views on economic issues does not bother you, then a man from Germany can become your cherished happiness.
The German man is not very emotional. He definitely won’t break dishes like an Italian, he won’t scream, and after 10 p.m., in accordance with the law, even you won’t be able to scream. Natural restraint is the key to a quiet and stable life. You may even get bored around him because of this, but you can always predict, predict the behavior and reaction of your husband.
I ended up with some kind of laudatory article. Although it is true that the Germans, as a nation, are very good and have many strengths. Even their disadvantages turn out to be some positive ones, if you look closely. Of course, we are all different, and you can’t generalize Slavic men and women. But if you are looking for a man for a serious relationship, then with a German there are many chances to be happy, they give a lot in a relationship, but they themselves expect decency, grooming, balance, stability. (“Quiet family happiness” is definitely about them).
I have nothing against our men, but I am very impressed by the attitude of Europeans, the same Germans, towards women. For myself, I firmly decided that I would only marry a European. They communicate with a woman on an equal basis, and not “bring it, give it, go away - don’t interfere.” And this is not about feminism at all, but about an elementary culture of communication.
Another good thing is that the Germans do not consider it shameful to help with the children or cleaning and cooking. I think that in this regard, despite some differences in mentality, it is much easier for our women with Europeans than with our men. At least it's more pleasant.
In the end, I would like to add that when you find a man, you should remember that you must praise and love him, show him how dear he is to you. Don’t forget about loving yourself, about your feminine essence. This is very important when a woman loves herself and is interested in herself. Then it is impossible not to love her, then others will be interested in her too.
I wish all women a quiet family, true female happiness. And it doesn’t matter at all what nationality your husband will be. The main thing is that you feel good together. Be loved and love yourself.
What is good for a German woman is good for a Russian...
Often visiting Germany, I have the opportunity to observe life not from the outside, but from the inside. The differences in the attitudes of men and women are striking. German men are more responsible than ours and strictly fulfill their obligations to their family. There are fewer women there than men, and they know it: they are more confident in themselves and have higher demands on the stronger sex.
Often visiting Germany, I have the opportunity to observe life not from the outside, like a tourist, but from the inside. The differences in the attitudes of men and women are striking. German men are more responsible than ours; they strictly fulfill their obligations to their family, wife, and children: the law encourages them to do this. There are fewer women there than men, and they know it: they are more confident in themselves and have higher demands on the stronger sex than we do.
Women
Appearance. There is a myth that German women are ugly. Actually this is not true. Many of them are naturally gifted very well. There are many pretty girls with delicate features. But this is not noticeable, because German women do not strive to show off their femininity and attractiveness. They don’t wear makeup, don’t do their hair, and dress very simply: jacket, jeans, sneakers. But, most importantly, on their faces there is no expression: “I’m looking forward to meeting a man,” inherent in our women. German women have good figures, they are athletic and fit. There are, of course, dense, well-fed ladies, but I have never seen loose, spread-out ones.
In ordinary life, women do not strive to look sexy (it is enough to be clean and neat), but when they go to the theater or restaurant, they follow the dress code and dress carefully, in an evening style. That's how they do it. And during the day on weekdays, they present themselves modestly and simply, without standing out. In this they differ markedly from our women, who constantly have the desire to “be liked.” Russian ladies are always dressed, combed and made up as if they are ready to go on a date at any moment. This is also explained by the fact that we have few men, so we must always be ready to meet fate and look our best.
Position in society. I repeat: in Germany there are fewer women than men, and they are worth their weight in gold. Therefore, German women know that for each of them there is someone willing, and more than one.
The woman there sets the tone in the relationship and dictates the conditions that suit her. She can do it firmly or softly, but in any case it is she who dictates. At the same time, her appearance does not play a role and is not the cause of any complexes. Every representative of the fairer sex is sure that she will be in demand, this is not even in doubt. In addition, there is no such strict age limit as ours, and women are in demand until old age.
Former St. Petersburg resident Irina says: “I recently came to stay in Russia from Germany, and one young man, having learned that I was forty, said that I looked good. And he added in a simple way: “You’re already a little old for Russia, but you’re still too old for the West.” This is true. In Germany, women my age are considered young. I get enough attention, men look at me with adoration. But in Russia, a forty-year-old no longer has a chance. My friends complain that men over forty are looking for twenty-year-old girls. In general, in Germany, appearance and age are not as important for a woman as in Russia. They marry anyone here, even those who would not have a chance in their homeland.”
German women are very independent, independent, do not rely on a man, and try to make their own way in life. Would someone call this feminism? Don't know. In my opinion, such a phenomenon as female self-sufficiency is now gaining strength in all civilized countries. Every year we also have more and more independent representatives of the fair sex who, alone, without the support of a strong shoulder, cope with life’s difficulties. But in our country this happens forcedly, and in Germany - as a consequence of the choice of women themselves.
Men
Appearance. The Germans are outwardly interesting, tall, fit, with athletic figures. There are dense, well-fed ones, but fat ones with large protruding bellies are extremely rare. They take care of themselves, are neatly dressed, and have a good haircut. An unkempt, disheveled appearance is nonsense for them.
Mentality. The Germans are committed to order (this can be seen with the naked eye), very disciplined, reliable, punctual, and predictable. However, as it turns out, not everyone likes it. 25-year-old Marina thinks: “In my opinion, the Germans are kind of boring. I don't understand their humor. They are too responsible, they plan, think through everything, everything is according to their rules. They are very predictable. Maybe some people like it, but I miss our freedom. True, I’ve only been in Germany for a year, so I still don’t have enough experience communicating with local men. I am in a relationship with a Russian guy who also lives there. I feel good with him."
Courtship. When it comes to courtship, Germans behave differently than ours. Many of them do not give a woman a coat, do not open the car door for her, or present flowers for no reason. That's how they do it. When courting, they tend to split the costs between two, especially when the relationship has already stabilized. They believe that “both you and I need a relationship, so we pay equally.” They believe that a woman should also invest something in a relationship. The men there respect women's independence, so they encourage such an independent style of behavior. In any case, they are used to it; it seems natural to them.
On the other hand, they like beautiful, well-groomed Russian girls and ladies. True, they do not realize that beauty and well-grooming do not appear just like that, but cost money: cosmetics, clothes, and finally, time spent on self-care. Men want to get results without their own efforts, at least material ones. And when a woman opens their eyes to this, they are surprised. This is such male naivety...
Family relationships. German women feel confident in the family. Often they don't cook. If both spouses work in a German family, then all household responsibilities are divided in half. This is so common and natural that it is not even discussed. In this, German women are noticeably different from our women, who shoulder everything and, in addition to work, are ready to carry the whole house on themselves, if only their husband is nearby.
German men are quite patient in family relationships. Misunderstandings that arise are attributed to women’s moods, they know how to laugh it off, and strive to improve peace. They value women and do not throw them away.
Germans rarely get divorced. They do this only as a last resort, when family life becomes completely unbearable. The reason is that alimony and financial payments in case of divorce are huge. They place a heavy burden on men’s shoulders and practically give them no chance of starting another family. The situation is reinforced by the fact that the judicial system there works clearly, it is impossible to get away from alimony and payments, punishment will inevitably follow. Therefore, divorce is considered the most extreme option. But what to do if family life is completely disappointing and has not satisfied you for a long time? Make a girlfriend on the side... That's what they do.
Our situation, as you know, is different. My friend Svetlana, who has been living in Germany for ten years, once shared: “My Russian friend divorced her husband, and she was left with a small child. After the divorce, her ex told her: “Do you think you can arrange your life? Look around, there are half of the city so alone with children. And everyone is ready, you just have to beckon!..” In Germany, relationships between people are completely different. I really like local men. There is no such bad attitude towards women as I saw in Russia. Women are on a pedestal here, they are valued. Maybe because German women have many real rights and they are respected. Or maybe people here are just brought up that way, I don’t know.”
In general, we can say that German men have a very responsible attitude towards family. The reasons are stated above. Germans get married quite late. They live in a civil marriage for a long time, looking closely at each other. And only when a man wants to have children and is convinced that his girlfriend will be a reliable life partner does he formalize the relationship.
Here is another opinion from 34-year-old Rita, who is married to a German and is happy with her marriage: “We have a normal family, we have a child. When I lived in Russia, I often heard that the Germans are tight-fisted. This is wrong. They just know how to count money, that’s how it’s done. I’m also used to this and keep track of expenses. My husband provides the family with everything necessary, we go on vacation to the sea every year, we have a nice apartment, two cars. I like the attitude of German men towards family much more; they have much more responsibility. Children for them are a value, not a burden. They love them and never leave them without care.”
Inna Kriksunova, for Fontanka.ru
Having come across numerous articles and essays online on the topic “Russian women - what are they like?”, “Typical image of a French woman” or “Polynesian women and their views on motherhood”, I suddenly thought: why are there so few articles about men of one nationality or another?
Maybe there are actually a lot of them, I just didn’t come across them? And where can you read about them? At Men's Health? This is how the idea arose to chat a little about German men, to introduce you to them and to look at them with a more biased look.
We should probably start with what a typical representative of Germany looks like. German men are usually tall, thin, long-legged, and often fair-haired. Facial features are sharp. Bad character. Not married (c)
Joke…
Since it is as difficult to find a typical German in Germany as in Moscow - a native resident of at least the second generation, then, of course, the range of external characteristics of a German is actually very wide. There are short ones, there are redheads, there are fat ones.
Let's move on to the peculiarities of the national character, there is something to profit from there. Here are a few characteristics of a typical Helmut or Gunther.
Helmut is sentimental and romantic
I think much more than Russian men. Coming to the supermarket for shopping, he can easily grab a couple of bouquets of tulips, and not to give them to his wife on March 8th, or, dare I say it, Rosa Luxemburg, but just to lift his own mood.
In the apartment of Helmut, who lives alone, you can often find melted candles, vases of flowers, and cute pillows on the sofa. He did not inherit them from his ex, and were not even brought with her by one of the contenders for his heart and hand. He bought them himself (of course, on sale, because saving is everything to us), solely to create comfort in his own apartment.
Oh yes, saving is very important for a German man.
Helmut is very frugal
And this is not stinginess - this is a principle: everything should be worth the money.
Let us give a case as an illustration: in the supermarket next to our house there are no long queues, but here we had to stand: the cashier sold tomatoes to one man at 2.99 euros per kg, without seeing that there was a discount on them that day, and they cost 1.55 euros! The man, zealously checking the receipt after the purchase, caught the cashier. There was no scandal, but the rights had to be restored, so the check was canceled, the cash register was reloaded, the queue waited patiently and understandingly, because the German queue understands what justice is. This lasted about 10 minutes.
Of course, you are now impatiently awaiting news from us - has the German man received his won 1.44 euros? We hasten to assure you: we received it! And, satisfied, he went home!
Because ordnung, i.e. order was restored. And Helmut loves order most of all.
If, wanting to meet you in a restaurant or cafe, Helmut says: “I invite you” - you are lucky, he will pay for you! And you can safely order truffles in champagne (just don’t get too carried away with champagne and behave decently, he doesn’t like surprises in public places).
If he hasn't said that he's inviting you, then be prepared to split the bill. Perhaps, of course, he believes that paying for a woman is a matter of course, this also happens. But still, be prepared - just in case.
Helmut - esthete
Usually his shoes are always polished, his shirt is ironed, he also has a neat haircut and very well-groomed hands. Many guys go for manicures and pedicures, and at the same time they prefer women. A German man loves red wine in a beautiful glass, impressionist paintings and expensive watches and cars. And also after 45 years, many of them have an uncontrollable desire... to play the piano. Anyone, but I know this better than anyone. About 30% of my students are men. And, no matter how much they wanted to flatter themselves, experience showed that they really wanted... to play the piano. And nothing more.
Hellmut loves football
He was already born with a ball in his hands. Or with a mug of beer, which he will bang in ecstasy on the table of the bar, where he will watch the next national league match. During the broadcast of the World Cup, not a single living bird is seen on the streets of Germany, let alone a living man. All male children are enrolled in the football section.
You don't like football and at the same time you are a man and live in Germany? So you are not German.
Helmut can speak competently and well, regardless of his social status and education
I noted this for myself a long time ago, when, due to life circumstances, I was forced for a long time to use the services of one taxi company, the owner of which was a German, who himself willingly sat behind the wheel, and also maintained a staff of ten employees - taxi drivers, whom he, in principle, recruited from his compatriots.
I must admit, bowing my head, that I have not heard such Hoch Deutsch (high German, the officially accepted polite form of German spoken by television announcers), even from Angela Merkel. The speech patterns of the taxi drivers simply made me go crazy, feeling like a loader at the Promzona store who had recently come out of a three-week binge... The taxi drivers used phrases that would make a Harvard professor covered in red spots from the realization of his illiteracy.
Helmut loves to cook
There is even such family entertainment: cooking together. I first heard about this from one of the nicest German married couples, who answered my question: “How did you spend your weekend?” - They answered with pride: “We cooked!”
Poor things, I thought... They had to kill themselves like that on the weekend... How many guests were they expecting? Why couldn’t it be possible to put aside this fundamental saving once and go to a restaurant, since the income of this family clearly allowed them to have the best? But no, then I just didn’t know that cooking together is as much a pleasure for Germans as going to the cinema or theater together.
They plan this for a long time: they go to the store together, buy everything they need, and then on their free day they start working miracles - preparing, say, asparagus consommé.
It looks something like this: while drinking wine, they put something into a pan, from which this consommé then comes out:
“Gunther,” the lady says conspiratorially and even somewhat intimately, “would you mind passing me some salt to salt the consommé?”
“Of course, dear,” says Gunther on Hoch Deutsch, and brings salt, as well as thyme leaves.
-Darling, why Herr...Gunther did you bring me thyme? - starting to get excited, the quarrelsome Greta mutters, - when I asked you, in a normal German Hoch Deutsch, to bring only salt?
And a quarrel breaks out. A pan of consommé lands straight on Gunther’s head, thyme is less fortunate - it hasn’t even been included in Belonika’s recipes so far away...
No, no, this doesn't actually happen.
The German couple cooks harmoniously and efficiently, it turns out very tasty, and then they eat it all together, smacking their lips and washing it down with some Mosel wine from the 2003 harvest.
Popular German pop songs, which are played daily on all radio stations, deserve special mention. They can add zest to the portrait of a German man.
One day I heard a song on the radio. How interesting, I thought, listening to the text! What a fun idea to set the instructions for using a washing machine to music!
Then, after listening, I realized that I had gotten carried away. There was a song from the top chat in Germany, a song about great love.
I am attaching a translation:
"Could you fix me,
so that I can function better?
'Cause if you don't fix me,
I won’t be able to function anymore!”
This song is about the love of a German man, it is also sung by a man, by the way.
You are not tired?
Then I’ll sing you another very popular song here. It plays on the radio about three times a day.
"I can't find a woman,
I'm still searching, I'm looking for a 100% hit.
But I'm always missing something
and I ask myself:
When will it be not 99%, but 100?
When will everything fit exactly and no adjustment will be needed?
When will I tell myself: this definitely suits me absolutely 100%?”
This song is also sung by a man, and it is after the phrase about “100 percent” that he jumps up pathetically and hits a very high note. Apparently he is seriously worried. How not to worry if his debits and credits don’t match, no matter what!
I hope you have a fairly positive picture and you urgently want to meet some German man. But I must warn you: do not flatter yourself!
Among the men here there are also illiterate, cloudy-minded Golden Customers of McDonald's, beer lovers in the morning, which somehow does not add positive lines to their resume and even Hoch Deutsch does not save them; There are men who are not men at all and want to get married themselves; there are especially many of them in Cologne, a city recognized as the “capital of sexual minorities in Nord-Rhein Westphalia,” and there are also carriers of many other shortcomings.
But why do we need to talk about insufficient men? We must look for the positive in everything, so there is no place for them in our story. We are for beauty and positive emotions in everything!
Therefore, here are finally a few photos of real handsome German men.
And (get your husbands away from the screens!) my wish for you: may you dream about them today. For a change.
Let Brad Pitt sleep peacefully for at least one night!
Sweet Dreams!
