It’s already a difficult task. But getting over a breakup becomes much more difficult if your ex-boyfriend regularly sends you funny pictures on social networks, likes yours, and generally behaves as if you decided to remain friends (although in reality nothing like that happened).
If all of the above is your case, then it is quite possible that your ex wants to get you back. And here are ten signs that will help you make sure of this.
You know nothing about his personal life - but not because you are not interested, but because, most likely, there is none (another option: he carefully hides this fact even from close friends, which is quite strange). If your ex still loves you, then it is logical that he will not date someone else while there is at least a minimal chance of a happy reunion.
2. He makes you think he misses you.
It’s worth thinking about if he regularly writes in his status something like “My life has suddenly become empty for you” or “It’s a pity that some things cannot be returned.” Or if he posts photos of you together. Or when he writes on the wall that he is re-watching for the hundredth time a film that has always been only “yours.”
3. He contacts you with or without reason.
If your ex wants to get you back, he will call and write much more often than etiquette dictates for couples who have separated. In fact, sometimes he may contact you about all sorts of trifles or dial your number when he objectively has nothing to say. Have you noticed that he regularly comes up with excuses for calls? 99 times out of 100, this means he's incredibly bored.
4. He finds ways to be close to you.
If the man you broke up with still has feelings, he will continue to act in a very warm or flirty manner. So pay attention to his behavior: a soft voice, a whisper in your ear and a habit of holding your elbow when he wants to say something important - all these are signs that very soon he will propose to get back together.
5. He loves to reminisce about your relationship.
Ex-partners who find it difficult to move on (and are not at all sure that they want to) most often talk about past relationships as something wonderful. If, every time you meet, your ex begins a story in the style of “Do you remember how we ...”, or makes assumptions on the topic “1000 and 1 reasons why we broke up,” it is quite obvious that he hopes that you will give him a second chance.
6. He constantly talks about how much he has changed.
If your ex isn't asking, but is demanding that you give him the opportunity to apologize for the mistakes he made in the relationship, it could be for at least two reasons. The first is that he wants to clear his karma and move forward. Second, he wants to clear a certain area of karma in order to invite you to start over with a clean slate.
7. He's jealous (and can't hide it)
Depending on the degree of his jealousy, this may or may not be pleasant. So, for example, if your ex gets annoyed when he sees you openly flirting with another man, this may make you feel extremely positive. But if he gets angry every time you start talking to a man, it's time to tell him that this is not normal. One way or another, both of these manifestations indicate that he is not as happy without you as he would like.
8. He regularly appears in your favorite places
If you run into your ex-lover wherever you go, and it happens a little more than every day, then you definitely have cause for concern. True, only if you do not want to renew the relationship. We recommend that you do not try to analyze the situation, but ask directly what is happening and how you should react to it. Further actions depend on the circumstances.
9. He calls you every time he drinks.
The phenomenon of calling exes under the influence of a certain amount of alcohol recently received an official name from psychologists - drunk dialing. There may be nothing serious about calls from a bar if this has happened no more than twice in the entire time (imagine that no one except you answered him). But if you hear his voice on the phone on Friday evenings with enviable consistency, you can be sure that he still feels something.
10. He directly says: “I miss you”
A man openly tells you that he would like to turn back time and change everything? Believe me, it was very, very difficult for him to decide to take such a step. But if he finally pulled himself together and did it, he should be respected for his courage. And at this time you should think about whether you were both right when you wanted to end your relationship.
Has it ever happened that your ex jumps out like a jack-in-the-box? He writes again, sends flowers, invites you to meet, but not a word about the fact that he wants to return you. Usually, it's just a “need to talk” or a chance meeting on the way to work.But you suffered for it for a year and threw it away in tears! And he, as if nothing had happened!
First, indignation passes in a wave, and then the thought returns on repeat: “Why not? What if it changed? Or maybe he loves? and this is the biggest meanness of the situation.
The ex is like a boomerang - it flies unexpectedly and rarely past.
I'll tell you what happened to you and why he needs you again. Read, understand, remember!
So, 5 reasons for his comeback, which do not need to be followed:
1. Revenge
Whether it was a chance meeting or he saw a new photo on your profile - it doesn’t matter.
Such a man will sit on your head and dangle his legs.
2. Good sex
On the one hand, even a compliment addressed to you. You may even think that you were his “best.” But on the other hand..., yes, when he is in a new relationship, or has already stepped over it after breaking up.
Many people want sex, but few enjoy it.
If he felt good with you, but then wasn’t impressed, he’ll come for more. And, most likely, he knows what you want, what you fantasize about.
Women's gloss for the most part claims that such nostalgia is not a crime at all. Even the norm.
And he gives a bunch of arguments: it’s convenient, safe, you can experiment, you can show initiative.
But let's be honest... You broke up because there was a reason. In men and women, one of the leading roles is also taken by spiritual intimacy.
Yes. Maybe it's convenient. But no one promised you pleasure like then. People are changeable not only in their views, but also in their preferences.
And no one guarantees your safety. Only God knows who he slept with after you.
Something that you chose to forget can also fuel his interest. And this encourages some to prove that he can still do it like no other.
Think carefully before agreeing. He’ll play enough and quit, and then you’ll have to close the next gestalt.
3. He's lonely
If we compare life, the second one often wins in terms of storyline.
Maybe he's bald (of course, not as cool as me :)). Or he has gained weight, fallen into depression, his life as a whole is not going well (this, fortunately, has passed me by).
They knocked his arrogance down, because they want better things, but you liked something more about him than “clothes.”
There are a couple of nuances. And let's be honest. He realized that you were generally fine and wants to return to this state AT YOUR EXPENSE.
Often this impulse is unconscious. Like happy memories of childhood that you always return to.
Honey, you don't need to save anyone. Everyone must work on themselves and their relationships at the same time. This is the whole point of personal growth.
4. You have become successful
You got what you dreamed of for a long time without his participation and help. This point is slightly different from the first point, although in one thing they are similar: success, like happiness, is different for everyone.
She wanted to travel, promoted a blog, organized an exhibition of her paintings and sold each one for a million, but he insisted that there was no talent, that you couldn’t make money from it.
I doubted, underestimated, instead of support and encouragement...
“Sveta has already opened a beauty salon, Masha paints pictures, but not as cheap as you, and Irka, my classmate has already traveled all over Europe, where do you care about her! And your ideas are so-so"
This is a success!
It doesn't matter who abandoned whom. He made me doubt myself - you couldn’t stay with such a man and you couldn’t return to him either.
Such men usually count themselves among the witnesses of your triumph. They believe that the main impetus to success was their pseudo-motivation.
If you have already tried on the role of “strong and independent” and your ex suddenly appeared on the horizon, think about it. It's time to seriously work on yourself.
Bring back your lost and forgotten femininity to attract worthy and strong men.
5. He wants to start over
Relationships with your ex are like relationships with an old frying pan.
You see something new and beautiful on the display case - with a non-stick coating and a heat-resistant handle, but you pass by. Because eggs are fried easier and tastier on an old lady.
Also with men, you have two options: create and develop in a new relationship with a new man or get stuck in those that are simpler and more familiar, with the same one.
Honey, everything connected to the past takes energy to create the present. Think about it!
What are you missing?
If you look at his profile on Facebook again and remember before going to bed “how good it was then,” it’s time to diversify your life. Remember a forgotten hobby, go to school, upgrade your personality, meet friends.
But most importantly, live in the present!
Yes, there are good reasons why you can and sometimes even need to get in touch after a breakup. For example, you have a child together.
But this is a topic for another article. The approaches and psychology of interaction are also completely different. And a relationship is not even necessary for this.
Remember, you have thousands of chances to become happier.
With faith in you,
Yaroslav Samoilov.
Only his love will help bring back a loved one. If he loves it, he will return on his own. Give time a chance. It will put everything on the shelves as it sees fit. Don't interfere with it, otherwise it will play against you.
I will tell you a couple of cases from life, which will confirm the words about self-return.
P first story. Zhenya and Zhenya met at graduation. At the time when it was three years since they met, Zhenya (the young man) suddenly decides that it’s time to leave. Zhenya (the woman), covered in tears, calls her friends. They are in shock. Nobody expected this to happen. What happened was very unusual, due to the fact that the couple were very friendly. It turns out that Zhenya (the young man) was just tired. Tired of seeing, every day, the same girl in front of my eyes. He needed rest. And the woman Zhenya cried and worried. She managed to get used to her namesake boy. And she didn't want to lose him. Love was also there.
Zhenya, a few weeks later, returned to Zhenya. They still see each other to this day. Indeed, this is the third time the woman has run away from the registry office. Zhenya is naturally angry, but he endures it. It seems he has no plans to leave Zhenechka. You won’t believe it, but they’ve been together for nine years! And they do not live together, but see each other, spending the night, alternately, friend with friend. The girl is quite happy with this.
IN The second story is not a story with a happy ending. The woman and the boy had been seeing each other for a couple of years. Later, one evening, at another meeting, the woman saw that her young man had changed quite a lot in relation to her. Women's intuition shouted SOS. And she was right: the young man really grew cold. But the circumstance is different. He was not afraid that the other one had children (a boy and a girl), despite the fact that he claimed that he did not want other people’s children. He left. The woman was worried, worried, crying. She begged him to return. I bombarded him with messages and called - the guy changed his number. I determined where he lived and came every evening to the entrance. The young man took his passion and changed his place of residence. And he told all his friends not to give him away. At that time, when the woman asked them where her beloved was, they stated that they did not know. They know, like, only at the time when he left.
The woman went to fortune tellers. In addition, she did love spells. Nothing helped at all. How to get your loved one back? A love spell will not help if your soul does not belong to a certain person. The woman struggled and tried. At that time, when she felt that she was powerless, she committed an unthinkable act: she went to a monastery. She had a hard time with him at first. But she’s used to it, and “Probably” doesn’t intend to leave there. She decided for herself that she would no longer allow men to cause her suffering. Friends and girlfriends come to see her, and her relatives do not forget her. Indeed, not everyone understands her action.
In case you want to return
- Don’t call thousands of times on landline and home phones. Obsession is bad nonsense that interferes with many things.
- There is no guard, invariably, at his house. At the entrance - even more so. If something like this happened a couple of times, try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
- Don't bother me with your tears. The fact that you cry in his presence will not help. By and large, men do not like the tears of ladies, although some are touched by them.
Your friends say he won't come back? Don't trust them. They don't know what will happen next. Just like every person. Live in hope, not in versions. Thinking anything is possible. But thoughts are not something that necessarily comes true.
No one has yet canceled optimism. Even if it’s hard to be an optimist, try to remain just a person in whom there is a large amount of optimism. Living with him (with optimism) is much easier. And not only those who suffer because of love. For optimists, it is always easier. Moreover, those who are very joyful.
If he directly told you that he will not return, do not look for an excuse for torment. It is always possible to find a replacement. It is true that no one is irreplaceable. Just give in to the time. It will heal you. Don't expect quick results because you will have to wait. Wait, if you wish, for the treatment to go well over time. And don’t be surprised that time will drag on like chewing gum. The waiting can get old. If the young man asked to give him the opportunity to think about everything, give it, don’t be greedy. Someday, you will realize that it was not in vain that you were not greedy. And it doesn’t matter what happens next between you. Every action you take is a school of life. Thanks to such actions, you gain experience. A lot of experience, albeit not positive.
If a man really fell in love with another, it is impossible to return him. Men, like women, are blown away by great love. They give everything to their beloved lady, dissolving in her completely. Without noticing anything around, they live and breathe the one that is so dear to them.
Don't be upset! You'll only make things worse for yourself. Violation is not a psychologist. By the way, you can also go to a psychologist if you do not dislike people of such professions. One hour with a psychologist - a lot will change. The main thing is to be honest with him, don’t hide anything. Express any idea you have.
Do you love being alone when you don't feel good? Go, for example, to the village. Or to the dacha. Drive in the direction where, from your point of view, true harmony reigns. If hope does not leave you, live with it, do not drive it away. You know, nothing is uncommon in life. And the fact that a loved one returns is not the rarest case. He may come back. At the time, unknown. Because he himself may not know at the time when this may happen. Men say that ladies are very unpredictable personalities. Men are no less the same. They just, for some reason, love to deny their unpredictability.
Don't lose faith in the best. If you lose it, it will be difficult to find. Yes, you most likely will not want to look for her anymore, because you will begin to be completely disappointed in life. And she is in you. This mutual disappointment is dust that needs to be gotten rid of urgently.
There is another method... Chat with someone in your family. Later, at the end of the conversations, put all your conclusions into one mosaic. Look how easy it becomes for you. You will be able to act rationally, and not think only with your heart! Do you have relatives? Perfect! They won't want anything bad for you. These are recommendations from a psychologist.
Methods and means. - How to make yourself loved?
Circumstances: Adore a guy, a man.- Why adore him? For what?
Is it necessary to return it? - How to forget the guy who cheated?
Source:
Recommendations from a psychologist. Methods and means. Only his love will help bring back a loved one. If he loves it, he will return on his own. Give time a chance. It will put everything on the shelves as needed
http://citytile.ru/medicine/esli-muzhchina-ljubit-on-vernetsja.html
If a man loves you he will return
What to do to prevent this from happening?
1. Don't bother him on the phone, that you can’t go a day without him, that you can’t eat, sleep, or go to the toilet. What is he to blame for if quite significant circumstances separated you (work, trip to the South, etc.)?
2. Try to find something interesting to do (whether it be roller skating, cross stitching, showing your tongue to passers-by - everything is up to you). According to the principle: “Whatever a child enjoys, as long as it doesn’t cry.”
3. If you feel strongly that you are about to start texting him and I’m not sure that you’ll stop until the morning, do this: write, but don’t send. Either write him texts on paper or on a computer. You can pour out all your emotions, remember the first day you met, describe your first kiss, etc. When he returns and reads it, he will carry you in his arms (tested).
Understand that if he doesn't call or text as often as you'd like, maybe he's just busy and needs to get things done, and that requires some time to deal with work (parents, friends, finances). Give him some time, don't call him every five minutes. If he really loves you, he will show up himself as soon as he finally “resolves” the situation. And, if you sort things out: “Where have you been? You forgot me, you didn’t love me, you didn’t want me, that’s why you flew away,” he’ll tell you where to fly, or whether to walk far and long.
On the contrary, you should stir up his interest, and not look like an obsessive psychopath. For example: “Honey, how are you? Glad to hear from you. Today I was visiting friends and went bowling. I miss you, I wait, I love you."
Verified. Feeling your independence, he will write you a bunch of SMS and call you every hour. But then, a man is a true hunter, and you forced him to be in constant tension. Keep it up!
Source:
If a man loves you he will return
What to do to prevent this from happening? 1. Don’t bother him on the phone that you can’t go a day without him, that you can’t eat, sleep, or go to the toilet. What is he to blame for if you were separated?
http://melochi-jizni.ru/publ/38-1-0-950
How to return your beloved guy, man?
How to return Love, interest, attention from an ex-boyfriend, man?
Advice from a psychologist. Ways and means.
Only his love will help you return your loved one. If he loves you, he will return on his own. Give time a chance. It will put everything on the shelves as it sees fit. Don’t disturb it, otherwise it will “play” against you.
How to return your beloved guy, man?
I’ll tell you a few cases from life that will confirm the words about “self-return”.
P first story. Zhenya and Zhenya met at graduation. When three years have passed since they met, Zhenya (the guy) suddenly decides that it’s time to leave. Zhenya (the girl), covered in tears, calls her friends. They are in shock. Nobody expected this to happen. What happened was very strange, because the couple were very friendly. It turns out that Zhenya (the guy) was just tired. Tired of seeing, every day, the same girl in front of my eyes. He needed rest. And the girl Zhenya cried and worried. She managed to get used to her namesake boyfriend. And I didn't want to lose him. Love was also present.
Zhenya, two weeks later, returned to Zhenya. They are still dating. True, the girl is running away from the registry office for the third time. Zhenya is naturally angry, but he endures it. It seems like he has no intention of leaving Zhenechka. You won’t believe it, but they’ve been together for nine years! And they do not live together, but meet, spending the night, alternately, at each other’s. The girl is very happy with this.
IN The second story is not a story with a happy ending. The girl and the guy dated for several years. Then, one evening, at another meeting, the girl noticed that her boyfriend had changed a lot towards her. Women's intuition shouted “SOS”. And she was right: the guy really cooled down. But the reason is different. He was not afraid that the “other” had children (a boy and a girl), although he claimed that he did not want other people’s children. He left. The girl was worried, worried, crying. She begged him to come back. I bombarded him with messages and called - the guy changed his number. I found out where he lived and came every evening to the entrance. The guy took his passion and changed his place of residence. And he told all his friends not to give him away. When the girl asked them where her beloved was, they said they didn’t know. They know, like, only when he left.
The girl went to fortune tellers. I even did love spells. Nothing helped at all. How to get your loved one back? A love spell will not help if your soul does not lie with a certain person. The girl struggled and tried. When she felt that she was powerless, she did an incredible thing: she went to a nunnery. She found it difficult at first. But she got used to it, and, apparently, has no plans to leave there. She decided for herself that she would no longer allow men to cause her suffering. Friends and girlfriends come to see her, and her relatives do not forget her. True, not everyone understands her action.
If you want to return beloved guy, man - don’t do these things:
- Don’t call thousands of times on landline and home phones. Obsession is bad nonsense that interferes with many things.
- Not a guard, constantly, he is at the house. At the entrance - even more so. If this happened several times, try to prevent it from happening again.
- Don't bother me with your tears. It won't help that you cry in his presence. In general, men don’t like women’s tears, although some are touched by them.
Are your friends saying he won't come back? Don't trust them. They don't know what will happen next. Just like any other person. Live by hope, not assumptions. You can think whatever you want. But thoughts are not something that necessarily comes true.
No one has yet canceled optimism. Even if it’s hard to be an optimist, try to remain a person in whom there is a lot of optimism. It’s much easier to live with him (with optimism). And not only those who suffer because of love. It's always easier for optimists. Even those who are very happy.
If he directly told you that he will not return, do not look for a reason to torment. You can always find a replacement. It is true that no one is irreplaceable. Just give in to the time. It will heal you. Don’t expect quick results, because you will definitely have to wait. Wait if you want the treatment to be successful. And don’t be surprised that time will drag on like chewing gum. The waiting can get old. If a guy asked to give him the opportunity to think about everything, give it, don’t be greedy. Someday, you will understand that it was not in vain that you were not greedy. And it doesn’t matter what happens next between you. Every action you take is a school of life. Thanks to such actions, you gain experience. A lot of experience, albeit not positive.
If a man seriously fell in love with another, it is impossible to return him. Men, like women, are blown away by great love. They give everything to the woman they love, completely dissolving in her. Without noticing anything around, they live and breathe the one that is so dear to them.
Don't be upset! You'll only make it worse for yourself. A disorder is not a psychologist. By the way, you can also go to a psychologist if you do not dislike people of such professions. One hour with a psychologist - a lot will change. The main thing is to be honest with him, don’t hide anything. Express any of your thoughts.
Do you like to be alone when you feel bad? Leave, for example, to the village. Or to the country house. Go to where you think true harmony reigns. If hope does not leave you, live with it, do not drive it away. You know, everything happens in life. And the fact that a loved one returns is not the rarest case. He might come back. When is unknown. Because he himself probably doesn’t know when this might happen. Men say that women are very unpredictable personalities. Men are no less the same. For some reason they just like to deny their unpredictability.
Don't lose faith in the best. If you lose it, it will be difficult to find. Yes, you most likely will not want to look for her anymore, since you will finally begin to be disappointed in life. And she is in you. This “mutual disappointment” is dust that should be disposed of immediately.
There is another way... Talk to someone close to you. Then, after conversations, put all your conclusions into one mosaic. See how easy it becomes for you. You will be able to act rationally, and not think solely with your heart! Do you have close people? Great! They won't wish you harm. This is advice from a psychologist.
It would seem that the fateful and last words have been spoken a long time ago, and the man who was dear remains in the past, received the nickname “former”, and now you want only one thing - so that nothing reminds you of him, so that you can start building your personal life again, from scratch.
But no. Despite the fact that he himself made the decision to break up, the man continues to call, constantly finds a reason to meet, visits your page on social networks and asks all mutual acquaintances about what is happening to you and whether you have a new boyfriend.
What is this? Awareness of your own mistake and the desire to return? Or is it just behavior from the series: I don’t like it myself, and I won’t give it to others? This is what we will talk about today. As well as whether it’s worth taking a step forward or whether it’s better to change your phone number and finally leave this man in the past, like, when you leave, go away.
How to understand that your ex wants to come back
A man wants to be in your life if he doesn't just call or show curiosity when talking to people you know. He is also taking active steps, or at least showing that he is ready for them. For example, he constantly offers his help, it is important to him how your plumbing works, whether all the lights are on, whether it will be difficult for you to drag heavy bags from the store before some holiday. Just remember that if he really wants to return, then the initiative comes exclusively from himself, and not as a response to your request, since help for an ex-wife or girlfriend is not refused not only by those who want to build a relationship with her again, but also someone who is simply well brought up.
Another sign that the ex wants to become the current one is realizing one’s own mistakes and trying to correct them. Anyone who tries to enter the same river for the second time draws conclusions from the past and does not behave as he once did. He tries to re-conquer a woman, commits actions unusual for him. Moreover, regardless of whether he left on his own, or whether you sent him to resign. Only those who are ready to change in order to be with a woman again truly want to come back.
Although we must immediately make a reservation that there are some individuals who, having once abandoned a woman, and then, not having settled their personal life with someone else, believe that their desire alone is enough for the woman to accept them again. Such a man simply comes and says: here I am, love me and favor me. That is, he believes that he is such a gift that the woman will be happy only because he paid attention to her again. In this case, you need to run away from such a man, otherwise after some time he will go on a free voyage again, again he will find nothing, or rather, he will not find anyone, he will return, and you will wait and forgive, and, accordingly, you will be unhappy.
A sign that a man still wants to be with you is his desire for open dialogue. The one who is silent, who does not voice his plans and feelings, does not yet know what he wants, or it is convenient for him to use his ex-wife (lover), for example, to satisfy his sexual needs, without promising anything in return.
Moreover, a man does not always speak directly about his plans and feelings; there can be hints and reservations. After all, at his core, a man is a proud beast, and it is difficult for him to immediately admit that he was once wrong. Although if he doesn’t voice anything at all, this is a reason to be wary; this is where the “dog in the manger” syndrome may manifest itself. That is, he may not need you at all, he simply cannot bear to think that you will be with someone else.
How to help your ex get back
If you are sure that you want your ex-man back, do not play cat and mouse with him. Be sincere and open. A man should feel that you have forgiven him (and this is very difficult, because grievances do not go away so easily). And since a man first of all loves with his eyes, you should greet him every time with a smile and dazzling appearance - well-groomed hands, beautiful clothes, elegant hairstyle and makeup. And at the same time, in no case should you complain about your life. The only thing you can afford is to hint to a man that you feel bad or difficult without him. But just to hint.
There’s no need to do a man a favor - like, of course, I’m offended and in pain, and in general, I’m doing just fine without you, but if you really want it... This behavior backfires. A man, no matter how much you want it, does not begin to feel his guilt more acutely; on the contrary, he begins to look not for a reason to return, but for reasons why he should not do this or does not want to. And this happens because the man subconsciously feels that you, having gained power over him, will constantly remind him that he left, and then “came crawling” himself, you will play on this situation, use it for your own purposes . Of course, it would be easier for you if you could cause him equal pain, but this is a dead end in a relationship, and, sooner or later, such a relationship will end again, only this time completely.
You can also show your readiness to take the man back through tactile contact, that is, through touch. But here you need to act very delicately (in general, in this problem, delicacy is the first priority). Don't obsessively try to take your ex-man by the hand or put your arm around his shoulders when you pass by to put the kettle on. It is quite enough to sometimes lightly touch his hand with your fingertips when talking. It is also appropriate to hug him when you meet him (if he comes to your house) - cordially and easily, as if in passing. And immediately pull away. This is a signal - you are glad to see him, you are ready to start a dialogue.
If there is a place in your home where your ex-man is most comfortable, then welcome him there - this way you will show him that “his territory” is still waiting for him. The exception, of course, is the bedroom as such, that is, you can put him on the sofa in the living room, even if this sofa is your sleeping place, but bringing him into a room where there is only a double bed and a wardrobe is not recommended. In the bedroom, a man’s thoughts do not rush to the future, but to the specific present, that is, strictly downward, and this is an invitation to sex, and not a help to the man to return. True, in a certain situation, sex can also serve as a help, but only if up to this point you have avoided intimacy with this man in every possible way.
When you shouldn't help and forgive
As mentioned above, first of all, you yourself must want to be with this person again, but if you have even the slightest doubt that you need this, then look for another man. And even more so, you need to think 33 times whether you want your ex to return, if there is already another man next to you who is trying his best to make you happy. And even if you don’t love him until you lose your pulse, there is no guarantee that, having accepted your ex, in a week you will not regret that you missed the person who did not betray you, for the sake of the dubious pleasure of “stepping on the same rake” again "
There are other situations:
If you are constantly being given some promises, but nothing is fulfilled, then there is no need to justify a man by saying that he simply has no time. This self-deception can take you too far. The one who wants to return everything will not “feed you breakfast”, but will act.
If a man calls you only when he is heavily intoxicated, then you should not console yourself with the hope that: what is on the mind of a sober man is on the tongue of a drunken man. This is far from true. And it is not the subconscious that speaks in a man at this moment, but loneliness or the desire to talk (or have sex).
If, in conversations with you, your ex constantly mentions those women he was with after he broke up with you. A person who really wants to come back will spare your feelings and, accordingly, will try to at least convince you that he was just going “nowhere.” And even if you clearly know that this is not so, his attempts at “white lies” are a good sign. If every now and then in his stories he returns to his recent past, in which you were not there, but there were other women, then he regrets precisely that time, and not his past life with you.
If a man says that he wants everything back, that he wants to come back and be with you, but in the meantime he prefers to spend time not with you, but with his friends, at work or at the sports club, that is, he does not put your interests above his own. In this case, he only cares about his comfort, and he wants to return to you precisely because you are part of a comfortable life (clean shirts, hot food, regular sex). This is a manifestation of selfishness, and by definition we are not talking about any love here. He doesn’t want to return to you, he doesn’t care who will be there, just so as not to be lonely and unkempt.
In general, the issue of returning an ex-man is a slippery issue. On the one hand, maybe fate is giving you both a second chance at happiness, and if you take advantage of it, nothing will separate you. But on the other hand, according to statistics, only 1 out of 20 couples live together for more than 3 years after reunification. Therefore, you should only accept your ex if you yourself are ready to forget about the past, that is, do not remember past grievances, do not reproach or blame the man. Two must change. You should not think that when a man returns, he automatically becomes your thing and falls into eternal slavery. And that he, feeling guilty, will put up with any of your whims. And you yourself are unlikely to be able to forgive him for his new betrayal. Therefore, a man must understand that from now on he will have to carefully work on his relationship with you. So only a joint desire to be together and work towards this goal will make the second attempt successful and, perhaps, bring happiness.
Good evening. I think, girl, you are fundamentally wrong. Breaking up is always hard in itself. People who once loved each other are breaking up. Breaking up is painful and difficult both men and women. It was the women themselves who came up with the idea that a woman experiences a breakup more deeply and harder. Parting is extremely stressful, it is a serious and strong change in the life of a man and a woman. Believe me, it does not pass without leaving a trace on the human psyche and the human soul. Let's look at how women and men behave after a breakup.
A woman’s actions: she cries, complains to her friends, discusses her experiences with colleagues, family, neighbors, or on forums. Moreover, all this is not condemned by society. That is, a woman throws out her negative emotions. Thus, she removes the emotional burden. Many women often take a “vacation” from building new relationships (statistically, from several months to several years). During this period, women have time to come to their senses, get rid of problems and are completely freed from the negativity of past relationships. And only, this is how a woman gradually approaches the beginning of a new relationship.
Actions of a man. After a breakup, a man is usually forced to experience all the negative feelings and emotions within himself. Unlike a woman, he does not make his thoughts and feelings public. Society's behavior of men. who brought his feelings out into the open is condemned and blamed.
Let me disagree with you that “... And they (men) feel great...” Think about it, a man, just like us women, experiences pain, disappointment, grief, bitterness, etc. Psychologists have proven that men experience divorce much more acutely and difficultly than women. Why? Yes, because, not having the opportunity to cry and speak out, men hide their feelings deep into the subconscious. Because these feelings and emotions are negative and unpleasant, they very often express themselves in physical illness and suicide. You know, a man cannot stand loneliness. And here a man makes a fatal mistake: without surviving the old relationship, as they say, “without licking the wounds,” he rushes into a new relationship. He throws himself head first into a pool. A man experiences loneliness so acutely that he immediately begins to look for a new partner. and it even happens (very often) that they quickly marry the first girl who comes along.
Now, I hope you understand why men come back? Just like the fact that men endure separation more easily. Well, the fact that a man says that “... I feel good without you!.. - this is elementary bravado.
And further. Some statistics. For your information, after a breakup in men: the risk of disease increases 3 times; 6 times more often they turn to psychologists and psychotherapists; 3 times more likely to bring themselves to nervous and psychological exhaustion; and also attempt suicide.
Wisdom to you. Lydia.
