Most often, girls in such situations do not think, but relay the statements and ethical behaviors of their stupid girlfriends or older women whom life has managed to scald with boiling water or a fried rooster has pecked at a place where the back is already losing its noble outlines. If this is so, then the point is already in you, your authority, the ability to convince and protect the object of your desire from the harmful influence of home-grown educators. There are also some completely mercenary girls who are constantly in search of a sponsor, but they should be run from like fire. Convincing them to change their goal is very problematic.
In what cases should a guy pay according to etiquette, and in what cases are we discussing this issue?
The phrase "I invite you", according to the rules of etiquette, always means that you pay. There is another wording in which everyone has to pay for themselves: "Let's go to a restaurant." Naturally, if a man offers to pay for a woman, then she has the right to agree, although she may be offended. In our latitudes, a formula has also been adopted, according to which all issues are resolved in advance - “Let's chip in for a bottle?”, Which does not allow for a double interpretation. Although such a proposal can only be uttered with an already established relationship.
It should be borne in mind that the rules of etiquette in other countries are somewhat different from ours, and if your foreign one does not offer to pay for your coffee with a bun, you should not rush to add it to the list of ill-mannered people. This is probably the usual rules for him, and he did not want to offend you at all.
But the material costs on the first date should traditionally be borne by a man, and not even under the pressure of etiquette. Even in our era of comprehensive gender equality, a man wants to demonstrate his reliability from the very first meeting. An excellent opportunity for this is, for example, paying for a romantic dinner. Here the lady must not stubbornly resist this pleasure for the suitor; in addition, this stage of the date can indicate both the generosity of a man, and stinginess if he begins to lament over the amount of the bill.
If the lady does not plan to meet with the man in the future, her rejection of the offer to pay the bill will be a clear signal that a second date is unacceptable, and will comply with the requirements of etiquette.
What are the benefits of paying for a girl?
Positive in paying for a romantic dinner for two for a man is both an emerging sense of self-worth and an increase in respect, and even admiration (depending on age) from a woman. There are no other benefits to this procedure. At the same time, another option is also possible, when, at the end of the date, the man will begin, and quite rightly, to choke the toad, and the woman will establish herself in the idea that her partner is simple as the truth, and he can be milked further.
How to talk to a girl about this topic?
A conversation on the topic of who should pay for joint pleasures is colloquially called a showdown. A showdown in relation to the lady is best avoided. It is preferable to show this with your attitude to this issue, facial expression, poking your teeth and tongue, pulling your lips into a tube and shaking your head. In the end, this pantomime will force the lady herself to decide and either change her behavior, or decide on a direct conversation, or simply leave.Is it possible to consider a man who does not want to pay for a girl a redneck or poor?
Many ladies who confidently believe that spending money on a woman is the sacred duty of a man, while continuing to dream of marriage and the coming of a handsome prince. But these are directly opposite tasks, because princes "in any case" pay for a woman exclusively in brothels, if they visit them, of course.
This confidence embraces such a large number of women that it becomes a template and deprives the followers of this theory of any signs of uniqueness, and this property is a powerful sign of attractiveness.
The money hunter has all the signs of a prostitute, and a successful man does not need her as a bride. Accordingly, he is not going to spend money on her, but it is hardly possible to call him a redneck in this regard.
If we examine the historical background of the theory that a man should pay, then we can recall that it was not men who spent money on brides, but, on the contrary, the bride had to come with a dowry. But men's money went down to the courtesans, but no one called them to marry.
Naturally, to deny that there are male goons in the world (as, by the way, women). We have them, and enough, and the manifestations of this property are visible to the naked eye. And zhlobstvo is manifested not only in relations with women, but also with all people, in everyday life and work. Therefore, if a man does not spend well on women, this does not mean at all that he is a “redneck”, it is quite possible that he perceives his partner as an equal person with him, and vice versa, shows his respect in this way.
The principle “The man himself must pay for everything” is beneficial to the rich nouveaux riches, who treat women primarily as a commodity, and not as an equal partner. Possessing more capital than the people around them, they are trying to show their uniqueness by this. And these "not rednecks" also use women temporarily, in the form of mistresses, and as they wither or get bored, these ladies are thrown out. And time is inexorably running out. And the young once poor "redneck", like his friends, will already have families by this time, and will overcome several steps on the career ladder.
Generals' wives marry poor lieutenants.
Therefore, it is absolutely not worth evaluating men only by costs, you should first of all pay attention to the real attitude towards you and their human qualities. Life is long, and during it the husband will spend more on you than a rich lover in a few months, after which the relationship may well stop.
Video about paying or not paying for a girl on a date
Modern society is significantly different from those times when a man had to support a woman, pay for her. Now, lovely ladies often earn more than men and actively occupy high positions in business and politics. Of course, this is not the case for everyone.
Therefore, you need to determine for yourself whether a man should pay for a girl in a movie, a restaurant, or, since she is so independent, let her serve herself. And what, for example, should I do if I don't want to pay for a girl, but she doesn't pay for herself? Let's talk about it below.
Should a guy pay for a girl?
Consider a first date. Here you have to pay for the girl yourself. First, let's remember the rules of etiquette. Secondly, the girl will see that you are not a greedy, decent guy, reliable, and this is exactly what she wants to see next to her. Do not give her the opportunity to be disappointed in you from the very beginning, let her want to meet a second and subsequent times.If the lady persistently offers to pay equally, there may be two reasons. First: you came across an extremely independent woman who doesn’t even want to go to the cinema for a “freebie”. And the second: you have already been written off as waste material. The girl firmly decided that she no longer intends to meet with you. The first date will be the last. Here it is up to you to decide whether it is noble to shoulder the payment of the bill in full, or to allow your companion to “fork out”. But there are also cases when a girl pays for herself and for a guy, but let's hope that such strong independents will bypass you, it's difficult with them, believe me.
If the lady is not yours, but one that always dynamizes men, you have every moral right to wipe her nose and not pay for her, especially if you do not want to do this. I have met many different couples. Among them were those where the guy took the girl to cafes, gave rings and chains for the holidays, i.e. everywhere had to pay for the girl. And then, when the guy began to spend less money on her, the lady began to resent, they say, you don’t give me anything.
There are also girls who simply do not want to burden their boyfriend. They don’t ask him for gifts, but on the contrary, if he pleases his beloved with something, they ask why he does it. It seems to me that such people will not even ask to buy a bottle of water for themselves. But such prudes, unfortunately, are now rare. 
Many, choosing the answer to the question of whether a guy should pay for a girl, are guided by their principles. Someone always pays himself, because he is a man and cannot simply do otherwise, no matter what relationship they are in. Another, if he meets a girl who works, thinks so: there is income, let her pay for herself, why should I give my hard-earned money? Another question is whether a particular woman will like such reasoning.
The social status of young people is of no small importance. If a business lady, who has a whole staff of personal security guards, fell in love with a simple courier from her company, I think it’s clear who will take out her wallet more often, in which case, for sure, the girl will pay for herself and for the guy. What the guy will feel at this moment, let him remain on his conscience. Or a 30-year-old man who drives a cool car and earns a lot, falls in love with an 18-year-old freshman student. Here society would condemn a guy who is not going to pay for a girl. If both are in the same status, you can always agree.
In order not to get into an unpleasant situation, remember some rules. If you are already inviting your chosen one somewhere and you know for sure that you will pay for two, allocate the amount that you are going to spend. Remember, you decide where you go, not the girl. 
Take her to a trusted restaurant or cafe where you know the prices. And be specific about what she can hope for. For example, “Do you mind if I treat you to a cup of aromatic coffee?” In this case, your companion will program herself that she will be able to ask for a cake for a drink, at most.
In general, listen to yourself, reckon with your principles, moral standards and try to understand the desires of your girlfriend. Good luck in every way.
Very often there are situations when a guy invites a girl to a restaurant, they have a great evening, but there comes a moment when you need to pay off the waiter. Someone confidently pulls money out of his pocket and pays for the girl, in some cases, the young lady, at least, tries to pay for herself. But, worst of all, when a beauty really breeds a young man for money, and he does not know what to do in this case. To dispel doubts on this issue once and for all, I decided to write an article to answer guys and girls: "Should a guy pay for a girl, and in what cases is it strictly forbidden to do so."
From early childhood, my mother told us that a man must definitely pay for a girl. And so many guys think that if they can't pay for a beauty, then it will look indecent. In this regard, the guy gives his last money to have a great date, buy himself an expensive chain, clothes, a car. After that, he buys a good bouquet and takes the girl to the most expensive restaurant. There he orders good wine, products to make a positive impression on the beauty. He thinks that such behavior will be able to discourage her, and she will jump into his bed that very evening. In fact, it is not, and money plays no role in seduction. And such behavior, when a person gives away his last savings just to please a girl, in my opinion, is absolutely wrong.
If you want to build a long-term relationship with a girl, then why show off that you have a lot of money, if in reality you don’t? And, sooner or later, the girl herself will understand this. If we are talking about a quick seduction (in one evening), then you can limit yourself to the minimum amount of money, pay for dinner, perhaps order a taxi, and that’s it. For the most part, nothing more is needed.
If you don't have the money to pay for an expensive restaurant, there's no need to be ashamed of it. Now there are a lot of such men. And, nevertheless, nothing prevents them from seducing women. Because in relationships, emotions and masculine character play a big role, not pieces of paper. And, on the contrary, there are majors who own expensive cars, have a lot of money, but cannot get sex from a girl. It is still possible to find a woman for one evening with the help of money, but only on a call. Do you need it? For me, for example, no.
Well, of course, if you have money, you can pay. No problem. This will show you are financially secure. But never ask for anything in return. You can only pay because you want to. But if you think that you will invite a girl to an expensive restaurant a couple of times, and then she will thank you for such kindness, then remember, this will never happen.
With a deeper consideration of the question “Should I pay for a girl?”, One must also understand the fact that all women are different, and react differently to this question. In any case, everyone has a minimum amount of money that they can safely give for themselves. But, there are, of course, rare cases when a woman is generally at zero. In this case, the problem, first of all, is in it. Either she is greedy, or very poor, or the third option is that she lives on the principle that a young man is simply obliged to pay for her. In my opinion, this is not at all right, and I would not start a serious relationship with such girls.
In most cases, if the girl pays for herself, then this will be quite normal. It also happens when she is ready to give money for a guy. But, this only happens when she really liked him.
If a girl has an overestimated self-esteem, then it will be common for her to promote a man for a minimum amount. Even if she has money, she will not pay for herself only out of principle.
On the other hand, if you pay for her, she will take you for a normal guy and next time she will behave differently, maybe she will buy something herself, or pay for herself.
In any case, when you go on a date with a woman, you must understand that you invited her. And if he also offered to drink a cup of coffee, then you need to pay for it. Coffee doesn't cost much.
But, in no case should you pay when she orders a lot. You invited her to tea and pay for tea, let her pay the rest. At the end, when the waiter comes, you tell him: "Separate bill for tea and lunch." This is fine. If she has a bad reaction to such behavior, you need to say that you decided to check what she needs from you - money or feelings. Say that you had situations when a girl promoted you for money and left you, so you check every woman. You make it clear to her that you are not sorry to pay for her, but it is on the first date that you will do as you want.
Focus on self-confidence. If you lose confidence, it's very bad. You feel like you're doing something wrong. The girl feels great about it.
Therefore, if you say that you do not pay, then you do it confidently, perhaps a little arrogantly, but you go all the way. If she doesn't understand you, then that's her problem.
If we talk about relationships after sex, then everything is easier. You don't always have to try to get a girl out for tea or lunch. And you can please her, treat her, and she can do you too. You can bet with her for lunch. She loses, you tell her: "Let's go to a restaurant and you buy lunch." This is also normal.
Also, if you want the girl to pay for you, say you forgot your wallet in the car. But be sure to pay for it next time.
So, to the question “Do I need to pay for a girl?”, You can answer, depending on the situation:
When can I pay for a girl:
- You invited her and ordered you tea or coffee;
- You have the means to pay for an expensive dinner;
- You want to give a girl a gift - lunch or dinner;
- Today you pay, and next time she;
- You bet your tea, lunch or desserts, etc.
When you can not pay for a girl:
- She herself invited you for a cup of tea or coffee;
- You do not have the means to pay for an expensive lunch or dinner;
- The girl orders a lot;
- The young lady asks (requires) that you buy her something;
- The girl bet tea, lunch or desserts, etc.
Never be afraid to be arrogant and don't get fooled when you get ripped off. Now it will be easier for you to date, because you know the answer to the question: “Should a guy pay for a girl?”
That's all for today. Good luck, friend.
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No problem, always happy to help
Nicholas, good afternoon!
I read your article. Interesting. But I didn't find any answers to my questions. Now I'm dating a guy. I cry for myself. He does not invite me, we just go to a cafe, a restaurant along the way during a walk. The very first we went to a cafe, where he told me: "Let's order more + champagne" (which I refused). At the end of the evening, they told me: "I'm on the verge of disaster - I'm waiting for my salary."
I understand it happens to everyone. I paid for myself. The second time: I pulled out the money myself, he did not stop me (as ex-boyfriends, colleagues, and just friends did before). I asked him for a 20-ku, did not want to change a large bill, he gave me 15 rubles, as a result, the money was not useful. Then he took 10 rubles from my palm. Although then we went to a restaurant where we spent a lot of money (again, every man for himself). It just shocked me! I don't understand this behavior. Is he a redneck or just doesn't want to pay? 🙂
I earn myself and I am not embarrassed by the financial side of my pocket. I can refuse if they offer to pay for me, I can not - this is my right. But here, I'm just wondering... Do you think this is normal?
Sincerely,
Yana
An interesting question from Jan... As for the first case, when the guy said: “Let's order more + champagne”, and then hinted at you to pay, then of course this is not normal, and you do not need to pay in such cases.
I don’t understand one thing, how do you just go to a cafe? Someone should be the first to hint for a cafe or restaurant. Or do you look at each other, and then silently enter? 🙂
If it was you who suggested going to a restaurant, and he has no money, then what remains to be done in such cases? It is natural to hint to you to pay, there is no other way out.
And if he invited you, and then offers you to pay, then tell him: "You invited, you pay."
Very clear, thank you, problem solved
Hello, and we have been dating a guy for two years, and he somehow reproached me in a quarrel that he always pays for me everywhere, and that when the family, everything will be divided equally there, and now we have been dating for a long time, at first it’s it's normal to pay for a girl, but now it's been together for a long time. So how is it actually okay?
I always pay for myself when I put a guy in a certain place - the place of a person who will work for me or with me. But if the guy is good and I dream about him romantically - I dream about a family, about children (it’s not clear to me why you all dream so much about sex, .. it’s so banal and accessible, and primitive), then I don’t bother about money - I leave all my houses or in a charitable foundation and let him take care of me, take care of me, pay for me, love me, feed, dress, decorate, be strong and omnipotent)) ..but about the restaurant: ..there is fat old men who love to humiliate people. They lure me to an expensive restaurant, naturally beyond my means, they order, eat, drink, I also order and eat, because I want to eat. I shouldn’t look at this bourgeoisie and lick my lips, choking on saliva .. I’m not a dog that is teased! ..and in the end, this next “charm” gleefully tells me: “I will pay for myself, and you have to pay for yourself!”, ..and I answer him: “What is the strength, brother?)) me!"
I agree with almost all of Kolya's advice. But not with the question of payment. Firstly, there is no need to invite a girl to an expensive restaurant. There are good inexpensive cafes. Secondly, a man must be a man and a woman a woman. Any woman is looking for a reliable man who can be relied upon. And if a man invited to a cafe and put down only a cup of coffee, and the rest - starve or pay yourself, then the woman will conclude that the man is not able to take care of her in the future, when she is pregnant, or raise children. Most women are still looking for a husband, not someone to sleep with. And when a man values money more than a relationship with the girl he invited, then this is ugly. At least read the comments of the girls. And the family should not be all equally. The man is the head of the family, he also tries to provide, and the woman is an assistant, raising children. This is fine. It's according to the Bible. What kind of a man, if he can't even pay in a cafe? Let him look at the girls on the Internet)
Yeah, the degradation of the male population! Interestingly, there is a sense in such relations in general. Can't afford a girl - don't invite
Yeah, the degradation of the male population! Interestingly, there is a sense in such relations in general. If you can't afford a girl, live like a monk. Everything is simple 🙂
Yeah, the degradation of the male population! If you can't afford a girl, live like a monk. Everything is simple 🙂 Another thing is girls: they rush at the unworthy and buy them.
According to the rules of etiquette, the one who invited always pays. That is, if you say “Let’s go to a cafe, I invite you,” then you pay regardless of who is with you - a friend, girlfriend, relative, acquaintance, boyfriend, girlfriend, and it doesn’t matter if you have a first date or 20s. If the phrase is in the spirit of “Would you like to go to a cafe?”, then this is no longer an invitation, but a proposal, and you should not confuse the concepts. In this case, everyone pays for himself, not in half, but for his own order and the bill is taken from the waiter separately.
You can also agree on payment in advance and discuss the option that will suit both (it can be in half, and “I will pay for everything today, and tomorrow you will pay” and all possible options). If you have agreed to share the costs, then you pay half the amount, including tips (tips are paid in the amount of 10-20% of the order value). As a rule, the difference in the cost of the dishes ordered by you and your companion is not taken into account. This does not apply if your companion made a minimum order (for example, a cup of coffee) while you ordered a full meal.
There is also the following point - the man always enters the restaurant first, the main reason is that on this basis the head waiter has the right to draw conclusions about who is the initiator of coming to the institution and who will pay. In case of arrival of a large company, the first person enters and pays the one from whom the invitation came.
It should not be otherwise, and this article is nonsense. There should not be situations when one person invited another and does not pay because this other person ordered too much. But this is what was said above in the article - “you can’t pay for a girl if you don’t have the money to pay for an expensive lunch or dinner” is generally complete nonsense. If you do not have the funds to pay for an expensive lunch or dinner, then do not invite the girl to an expensive lunch or dinner (instead of the word girl, you can read “boyfriend / friend / girlfriend / acquaintance / relative). You can always find an alternative to such a meeting and hold it in a slightly different format. And if you were invited, then, please, pay.
And I think so. If I invite to a cafe (or cinema), with the clause “I invite” (and not when both are thinking where to go and only the question-suggestion of the event is asked: “do you want to go to a cafe?”), then I expect that I myself I can pay, "I want it like that, I like you, I want to talk." But at the same time, the behavior of a man will say a lot: if he likes him, he will take the initiative himself. And this is the proper behavior of a man. Yes, and a well-bred girl on the first date will not eat too much) Out of modesty ...
I liked Igor's comment (I agree with every word). And I also agree that it is unworthy to count crumbs for a man. It is intimidating and irreversibly repulsive. Greed and pettiness are the most disgusting traits of any person: a man, a woman, a friend, it doesn't matter. It repels and completely discourages the desire to have any common business with this miser).
And I like the European version. On first dates, you are just acquaintances and just chat because it is pleasant for both of you. All costs are split here. In Europe, no one is offended by this, even a girl can be offended if they try to pay for her. Most of these girls are there, but not all. In terms of sex, too, everything is easier)). They like each other, so they can calmly do this business, so to speak. A man is not obliged to buy sex with this girl for cafes, flowers, and other gifts. The status of official relations is MANDATORY discussed - the man must say that he wants this woman to be his exclusive girlfriend (after that he no longer has the right to meet and sleep with others, and before that he could easily meet at least 5 more girls at the same time, but like her with other guys). And it's not over yet. Here, of course, he can pay a little extra for her, if she wants. Further, if everything is OK, the girl moves from the status of an exclusive girlfriend (with whom they only meet for communication and sex) into an official girlfriend (the couple already permanently lives together - and in the case of rented housing, they pay for it together). Only after entering into a life together, as a rule, guys begin to invest in a girl = in their family. This is a civilized American-European approach. There freeloaders and freeloaders are of no interest to anyone, whether you are a guy or a girl. While he was single, he always did this and taught his friends. This is true. And I want to tell you that there are a lot of dynamite girls among you. If you don’t like a guy, don’t date him or pay for yourself, as normal friends are supposed to do if you just like to communicate with this MCH. And not to milk him to the last, and then tell him, when the guy's patience runs out, that you are just friends, it turns out ... This is disgusting. I still remember with disgust my former girlfriends who once talked with me for the sake of a cocktail with rolls.
The guy invited me to a cafe, and he thinks that I should pay for myself, but I was not going to go to the cafe at all. I can buy myself ice cream on the street or coffee, much cheaper than also in a cafe, or even eat at home. Why then invited me to a good cafe? If you were not going to treat. Very convenient, you can invite a girl anywhere at her expense. I would never do that, don't invite money. They write that there are many dynamists among us, but I believe that, on the contrary, a man now wants his woman to provide for him.
Some kind of nonsense Dimon carries. Why is our mentality worse, where there are rules of etiquette, this “civilized American-European approach”? Let's start with the fact that "American-European" people are mostly greedy, and God forbid to spend an extra penny on someone. Why bring into our society obviously, to put it mildly, not the best rules of conduct? If invited - pay, no money - do not invite. And then they rant here about exclusive, official ones ... It seems like an adult, once married, but grinded such nonsense. And yes, the article is nonsense. The nonsense of a greedy, offended (apparently by girls), psychologically immature "half-husband".
Andrey completely agrees with you. Thank you that there are still MEN like you!
Women in general are on the board oh × × × whether. If a guy meets a girl. And if she allows this. That's all. the guy is simply obliged to do absolutely everything. and why should she allow. And not vice versa? What kind of inequality is that? I hate it. Are the girls still normal in the world? Respond. If you remain such in this world. Or men in your concept are eternal debtors? They must and owe it to everyone. That they were allowed to meet. But is it the other way round. So that not girls allow. But men. Probably not.
Good day to all! Of course, the article is very interesting, very informative, but I came across a little different. I really ask you for help and opinion on the current
And so! I met a man, then he was 30, now I’m already 31, I’m 28. I work, I earn very well for a girl, as for my man: he is engaged in DJing, organizes concerts of foreign artists, etc. In short, it seems to be normal .our first dates were at the cinema, cafes in the cinema area, I always try to order at a minimum, since I don’t fully know the financial condition of my boyfriend (just coffee), then he started a financial crisis. Of course, I didn’t really care about him condition, because I usually never asked for anything. But for the 4th month now, I have always and everywhere been paying for two myself. It began to bother me very much, over the weekend with him I spend 10-15 thousand, that’s all that I have at that moment. We go to the cinema, to restaurants, to amusement parks, I give money everywhere. Why doesn’t he dissuade me from this business at all, he himself can simply choose products in the store, and not the most cheap (far from cheap) in a restaurant, he always orders what he wants without even asking do i have money for this or not
In short, you can tell a lot more, but I think you get the point
And yet) we don’t live together, he always comes to me for the weekend, he leaves home on weekdays. All friends and family know about me, but we don’t know each other yet
Advise me what to do, I can’t turn to my relatives for advice, because I know what they will say
I really like him, I want to be there, ready to wait until his financial crisis is over, but here's how to know that he won't break up with me as soon as everything gets better!?
The editors of Elle Girl, as always, know the answer to your questions of the day;)
Answer: Seeing the question “What if my boyfriend splits the bill in half in a cafe and doesn’t want to spend money on me?”, I covered my face with my hands and muffled, “What a nightmare!”, and no, it was not sarcasm - it really is a nightmare. I would even say a nightmare, but the influence of the West and the typical American “I am a fighting woman, I can do everything myself” is to blame. Personally, I think, well, maybe she’s all on her own, well, it’s wonderful, why should everyone be equal to these emancipated people? But no, our Russians are also eager to fight - and into a burning hut, and a galloping horse, and the bill in half. Well done, beauties, you can’t say anything, only the guys were completely spoiled. He told her: "I'll pay, I'm a man!", And she, having seen enough of the same "Sex and the City" and licked the image of Miranda, not in her own voice: "Take away the money, I'm on my own!" I don't want his money. I am independent, he will appreciate it now and understand how lucky he is with me! ”, And in his head at that time:“ That's crazy. Well, okay, I'm on my own, I won't pay for it anymore. Brawler." This is how good, responsible guys deteriorate, but stop reading my grumblings, let's think about how to fix it.
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Why doesn't he pay for you?
Reason one: You taught him yourself. Well, it's actually an ultrasonic screaming situation where you're eager to pay yourself to impress or not look like a girl who only wants money. In fact, guys don’t appreciate this - guys only appreciate what they invest in, and if he doesn’t invest in you, then he keeps the money for himself and spends on himself, because if you don’t need anything, then there’s no need to spend money on you. This is where the second reason comes from.
Reason two: He is used to a certain amount that he spends on himself. Here he had, conditionally, 5,000 rubles for a month, he spent them on buying a pumped character in a video game, on beer and chips, on new headphones, on a T-shirt for himself. And then you're like, "Let's go to the movies!" Tickets, popcorn and a drink cost money - a thousand and a half down. And now he doesn’t have enough for a new tank in the game, and he gets angry: “Can’t you pay for yourself?”. He’s used to it, it’s convenient for him, you didn’t ask or refuse before, and now it’s not profitable for him to spend money on you - he has already distributed the budget for himself.
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Reason three: He's a lazy pig. There is a category of guys who are fully supported by their parents. Mom dresses him, dad throws money on entertainment, and in his considerable years he does not feel the need to earn money, because he already has enough for everything, and you have your own parents - they will give you ice cream and movies.
Reason Four: He doesn't love you. As I said, guys only value what they invest in, and if he doesn’t invest in you, then he doesn’t take you seriously. And no matter how they justify him “He doesn’t have time, he studies, he is only 17 years old, there is no job, and so on,” the fact remains. A guy who likes a girl will invest in her in any way possible - he will save up from breakfasts, go distribute flyers, get a job as a courier and deliver newspapers, download an application and help grannies carry bags to an apartment for a hundred rubles. In general, it will hurt, but it will get money.
What now?
On the first point: Ask, of course! Or refuse, at least. Let him pay, and you answer him with a smile and “Thank you.” Did he buy movie tickets? Rejoice, and rejoice violently, even if the militant he has chosen makes you sick. You hug a couple of times and exclaim “Oh, what a good fellow you are that you bought tickets, I really wanted to go somewhere tonight, they say the film is good!”, And then he will take into account your wishes and buy tickets for a melodrama. Did he give you a present? Rejoice again (yes, again very violently), because the guys are ready to do something for their soul mate only if they feel her joy and return from their actions. And if you whine “Fu, again a militant”, he will decide “Well, fuck you, goldfish, I won’t do anything at all - stay at home”, and you will really sit at home. The guys really really want to please us, it’s just that we don’t always respond correctly to their efforts.
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On the second point: Do not be offended. And ask. Again. But this time, show what you spend money on. Let's say you wanted a bracelet on March 8, he bought it for you. Do not throw him into the box - wear it as often as possible so that he can see, show off to all your friends how good he is, and be very, very happy. If guys are paying for something, they want to see what it is for and how happy it makes you. Simple truths that, as you might think, do not work, but it is worth trying, and you will understand that there is an effect.
On the third point: Here he is a frog! In fact, it is very difficult to re-educate such a person - they will have to be separated from the mother, who always takes care of the child. As long as he has money, he will not earn money on his own and spend something on you - even on ice cream - it is necessary that he understands that he cannot do without money. And age is not an argument. Some people manage to make money at 10, at 13 they find ways to make money on the Internet (on the same gaming, teaching other players how to level up their character and complete quests), look for part-time jobs, and some already have their own small business by the age of 20-23. Roughly speaking, the same bloggers learned to earn money at a young age, here's an example for you. So, if he grumbles that they don’t take a job, he is still young, and his rose didn’t bloom at all for work, then you shouldn’t build a relationship with such a guy - you will have to pull everything on yourself.
How to understand if he is ready to pay, and how to talk to him about money?
It's embarrassing, right? Scary? Quit? Yes, you yourself should think 300 times, and not quit this lazy person!
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- It’s better not to talk about money on a first date - it’s really incorrect, only if it’s not about the account. On the first date, he should always pay, and if he does not pay, the date is the last, and if he pays and tries to make a good impression in this way, this is a sure sign that he will continue to take care of you.
- You should not ask for gifts, or rather, you should not say “I want a bouquet of flowers! Bring it, serf, hurry!”, better walk past the shop windows and sigh languidly, “Oh, what beautiful flowers, oh, I love peonies so much!”, in this regard, guys are not fools, but guys in love - all the more - they will immediately organize gift. Maybe not a bunch of peonies, but three or five for sure. In general, voice your desires and see how the guy reacts. If he grumbles that this is all nonsense, stupid brooms, etc., then the kid should be written off as scrap - he is not thrifty, he simply does not want to please you in any way.
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However, you need to know the measure - you should not expect diamond bracelets from a student, but silver is quite. And remember that requests and acceptance of his desire to pay for you do not make you a materialistic young lady - any normal guy will be pleased to please you.
You can ask your questions
