Sesame Street / Children's Television Workshop (CTW), 1969
Japanese scientists have proposed an explanation of why it is difficult for people to keep looking into the eyes of the interlocutor during a conversation. According to them, people need to look away in order to avoid cognitive overload. Article published in the journal Cognition.
It is known that constantly looking at another person during a conversation is difficult. Observations show that, despite the importance of eye contact when communicating, people often look away when they are talking to someone. Sometimes this can be due to boredom, fear, or the fact that the gaze may seem strange to the interlocutor, but there are times when we look away for no apparent reason. The authors of the new article suggested that this is due to the fact that the same cognitive resources are used to maintain eye contact as for verbal communication, and at some point it becomes difficult for the brain to perform both tasks at the same time.
In order to test their hypothesis, the scientists set up an experiment. They asked 26 volunteers to play associations. The participants of the study had to choose a suitable verb for the noun, for example, “sky - fly”. At the same time, all words differed in complexity: one noun was easy to find a pair due to the obviousness of the options, while others, such as “list”, were not. In parallel, the study participants had to look into the eyes of another person whose face was shown on a computer monitor. At the same time, the virtual "interlocutor" sometimes looked directly at the volunteer, and sometimes - to the side, giving him the opportunity to look away. During this time, a special sensor tracked the subject's eye movements and recorded the data.
It turned out that when people averted their eyes to the side, they matched the verb to complex nouns faster than when they maintained direct eye contact. At the same time, such a difference was not observed when it was necessary to come up with an association to a simple word.
The authors of the work do not give an unambiguous explanation for the results of the study, but they suggest that the selection of verbs and the maintenance of the gaze use the resources of the brain that are common to the two processes and that something like cognitive overload occurs when performing complex tasks. However, this is difficult to judge without magnetic resonance imaging.
Recently, psychologists have determined the threshold for discomfort when making eye contact between people. On average, people who are not in a romantic relationship with each other look at each other for about 3.3 seconds, and then they become uncomfortable.
Kristina Ulasovich
Eye contact is one of the most powerful energy practices on the planet. People who look into each other's eyes experience a deeper connection, better understanding and trust. If you want to know more about a person, just keep your eyes on him longer than usual. The same should be done if you want to know his opinion about you. The eyes of the interlocutor (unlike words) will not be able to lie. They will give out all his experiences, emotions and feelings.
What is the power of verbal communication?
The practice of exchanging glances, or eye contact, is a non-verbal communication technique. Why, of all types of body language, this one has surprisingly limitless resources? People are social beings. In addition, our actions and ideas are filled with spirituality. Our distant ancestors noticed that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. We just have to agree with this statement. When we look at a stranger with interest, we experience strong feelings and give free rein to fantasy. If we catch the gaze of another person on ourselves, it confuses us and makes us tremble. However, communication stalls if the interlocutors cannot make eye contact with each other. 
"Gate of the Soul"
It is not forbidden by society. You can look at whoever you want: at a stranger, at household members, at friends and at romantic partners (by the way, this is a common practice in tantric sex). As we have already said, the eyes are the mirror of the soul, or, as the English say, "the gate of the soul." This means that they can be used as a tool to connect the physical and spiritual worlds. They help interlocutors experience more vivid visions or touch non-physical aspects (aura).
A closer look changes the mind
The Italian psychologist Giovanni Caputo conducted an experiment based on a children's game of staring. He managed to discover that a long gaze directed into the eyes of another person can change consciousness. Without psychotropic excipients, 90 percent of participants saw distorted features in their partner's face. Exactly half of the participants recognized themselves in the person standing opposite. 15 percent of the volunteers saw a reflection of their deceased relative in the guise of a partner in the experiment. 
Neural adaptation
One explanation for the altered state of consciousness is neural adaptation. Neurons in the human brain can slow down or completely stop responding to constant stimulation. So, when you look at an object, your perception of it may change. If you do not blink and begin to keep your eyes on the object to the "victory end", you may be lucky to see the distortion of the object's shape. However, this explanation does not take into account the depth of human interaction. Eyes convey feelings, they are filled with spiritual content. This is a much more complex mechanism. 
How does eye contact affect communication?
Many people are afraid to direct their gaze into the eyes of the interlocutor, especially if an unfamiliar person is standing opposite. However, in society, such behavior has not gained approval. At any psychological training, they tell how important it is to establish eye contact with a partner at the first meeting. However, people are not always eager to do this, especially if there is a stranger opposite. A number of aspects can become a reason for fear: congenital shyness, disrespect for the interlocutor, social stratification or prejudice. 
association game
An interesting experiment was conducted by employees of the University of Kyoto (Japan). The researchers observed a group of volunteers who played an association game and at the same time faced a choice: look into the eyes of the interlocutor during their move or look away. Participants had to choose associative verbs for different words. For example, the word "knife" can be associated with the verbs "cut" or "stab". As a result, people experienced the greatest difficulty in making eye contact when they found it difficult to find an association.
Interference when running two processes at the same time
The compound word baffled the participant and at the same time forced them to look away. For example, the word "hand" caused difficulties due to the large choice of associations. Hands can take notes, play, clean something, make a wave, point, greet someone, and so on. Based on this experiment, Japanese scientists concluded: “Despite the fact that eye contact and verbal processing are independent actions, people often look away from their interlocutors during a conversation. This suggests that there is some kind of interference between these two processes.” 
Why is the person looking away?
So, we have seen that a person can ignore the eyes of the interlocutor, not only because he feels hostility or fear. Eye contact is really connected to spoken words. Therefore, if someone looks away while talking to you, do not rush to get angry. This is not at all rude or tactless. Probably, at the moment, the opponent's cognitive system is simply overloaded. These findings also explain another behavioral feature. When you stare into the eyes of another person (such as a romantic partner), you are trying to remain silent. Non-verbal communication is more powerful than verbal communication. Indeed, sometimes words are superfluous. 
The experience of exchanging glances with a stranger
These are the experiments that people conduct in psychological training. Participants sit in a circle and perform the indicated actions. A person sitting on the right hand is usually offered as a partner in the game of "peepers". Having formed pairs, the participants begin to stare into each other's eyes. What do they think about it? They did not know the person sitting next to them before the training began. Before the start of the psychological experiment, they managed to exchange only a smile on duty. At the first stage of the task, their faces remain serious, but after a few minutes, the awkwardness of the situation dissipates and a feeling of comfort is created. 
Feeling warm and grateful
If the people who formed a couple are representatives of different sexes, sympathy is almost always observed between them. At such a moment, you can easily convince yourself that there is a potential chosen one or chosen one in front of you. An aura appears around the body of strangers, they smile at each other and their hearts fill with warmth. Sometimes, at the end of a visual experiment, tears roll down the cheeks of one of the participants. They feel that a person who was once a stranger to them can now become a faithful life partner. At the end of the time, the partners in the experiment hug each other as a token of gratitude. 
How to move the conversation in the right direction?
After the games of "peeping" are left behind, the participants begin to talk with each other. Now between them the psychological and emotional barrier is destroyed. They can talk about goals in life, about the correctness of the chosen path, they can give each other advice and voice their own thoughts. Now it is easier for them to put their true feelings into words. It is impossible to feel a closer emotional unity. Now people who were complete strangers yesterday can easily talk about belief systems, family values and touch on the topic of internal contradictions.
Conclusion
If you belong to the category of people who find it difficult to make eye contact with strangers, know that you are not alone. Science has justified your fears. However, don't let discomfort prevent you from getting closer to others.
One of the important keys that opens the door to strong friendships, successful careers and rich personal lives is eye contact. Many of us neglect, forget, and fail to use eye contact. How to look at the interlocutor as a girl, how to like it, how to inspire confidence, how to seduce?
People judge a person by how he looks at them. Eye contact is one of the fundamental stones of communication and communication with other people. It helps in almost every area of life. What makes eye contact, how to look at the interlocutor and the girl you like?
Eye contact and charm
For centuries, writers and poets have sung about the incredible beauty of the eyes. The eyes are more than an organ of vision, they are a mirror of the soul. If you are interesting to a person, then he will carefully look at you, study, admire and enjoy the view.
Eye contact and intelligence
At a job interview, at work or in business, it is recommended to maintain eye contact. This indicates intelligence, confidence, competence, professionalism and understanding of the situation. A smart person will not look away or at the floor. Eye contact is the hallmark of a highly intelligent person.
Eye contact and friendliness
Why are people on the Internet so aggressive towards their interlocutors? It's not just about the lack of responsibility and impunity. On the Internet, a person does not see the eyes of the interlocutor and does not know what he is thinking, and therefore assumes the worst. If you encounter incomprehension, resistance or hostility, you should maintain eye contact. This will generate empathy and empathy for the interlocutor.
Eye contact and trust
A medical journal featured a study on the importance of looking with a person. Doctors who avoid the patient's gaze are less trusted. Doctors who maintain eye contact are more trustworthy and rated as reliable. People perceive well those who look at them, and do not look away or run around them. Do you want to inspire the confidence of a friend or girlfriend? Look into your eyes.
Eye contact and sexuality
Direct eye contact helps to establish communication with the opposite sex, makes a person more attractive and sexy. Men and women are perceived as more self-confident, and therefore more valuable specimens. From eye contact comes charm, charisma, flirting and seduction. Eye contact is very sexy. It helps to get acquainted, gain confidence and seduce the opposite sex.
2. How do you maintain eye contact?
Does the person look from under the forehead, askance or frown? Is his gaze tense and aggressive? This view should be used for a hostile situation and conflict. A hostile gaze is usually eye to eye.
A triangle is mentally drawn between the eyes and a dot on the forehead. This look makes it clear to the interlocutor about the intellect and business mood.
A triangle is mentally drawn between the eyes and lips. This view speaks of social communication. This look is used when communicating with friends and sets up a trusting communication.
A triangle is mentally drawn from the eyes of the opposite sex, to the chest or legs, if appropriate. Such a look indicates interest in a person, strong sympathy and sexual attraction. Intimate eye contact is essential for seduction.
In a conversation, you should maintain eye contact 60-70% of the time. For friendly communication, you can do more. Shy and reserved people watch about 30% of the time. For a man, this will be a fiasco, speaking of his insecurity and weakness. You can maintain contact with the opposite sex 80% of the time. This is appropriate, it will talk about feelings and sexual desire.
In ancient times, Italian ladies put belladonna juice in their eyes. As a result, the pupils dilated, and a sparkle appeared in the eyes. It is very attractive to the opposite sex.
When a person is attractive to us, we not only look at him a lot, but our pupils also dilate. Wide pupils are a sign of sympathy for the interlocutor. Therefore, romantic dates are best done in the twilight, when the pupils are as dilated as possible.
5. Eye contact and influence
How to influence a person by looking into his eyes? The right hemisphere is responsible for the left eye of a person, and the left hemisphere is responsible for the right eye.
If you want to convince a person and look confidential, but look into the right eye. It is suitable for work and business meetings.
If you want to please the opposite sex, then look into your left eye. It is suitable for relationships and love. But do not do this all the time, but periodically look like this.
The eyes are your weapon in this world of business and seduction. Do you already use them as weapons?
Eye contact is the act of making two people or animals look into each other's eyes at the same time. It is a form and is considered by many to have a great influence on social behavior. The frequency and interpretation of visual contact varies between cultures and species. The study of eye contact is sometimes called oculesics.
Eye contact and a certain facial expression provide us with an understanding of a person and provide important social and emotional information. This happens at the subconscious level and affects. People, perhaps unconsciously, look into each other's eyes and their faces change expressions depending on the mood, that is, it can be positive or negative. In some cases, eye contact evokes strong emotions.
In some countries of the world, especially in Asia, eye contact can provoke misunderstanding between people of different nationalities. Maintaining direct eye contact with a boss or an older person leads to the assumption that you are aggressive and rude. In Western countries, people will have the opposite reaction to this.
Eye contact is an important element of flirting and can serve to establish and evaluate other interests in some situations.
Eye Contact Efficiency
In 1996, the Canadian Study of Babies 3 to 6 Months old found that smiles were shorter in infants of this age, especially when they made eye contact with adults.
More recently, however, British researchers found that newborns' facial recognition of adults was aided by direct gaze. Other recent studies have confirmed that the direct gaze of adults influences the firmness of gaze in infants.
Recent studies show that eye contact has a positive effect on information retention and retrieval and may contribute to more effective learning.
A study by psychologists shows that children who avoided eye contact when answering questions had higher rates of correct answers than children who maintained constant eye contact. One researcher suggested that looking at a human face continuously requires a lot of mental processing that diverts attention from the cognitive task. The researchers also noted that a blank look indicates a lack of understanding.
Dr. Gwyneth Doherty-Schedon said: “Eye contact requires quite a lot of mental effort. We get useful information when we listen to someone, but human faces have stimulating influences and require constant processing. Therefore, when we are trying to focus on a process that requires mental effort, it is useless to look at the face of the interlocutor.
Some people find and establish eye contact more difficult than others. For example, those people who have autistic disorders or social anxiety may be particularly anxious about eye contact.
In the human body, eye contact can be seen as personal involvement and the creation of an intimate bond. Mutual gaze narrows the physical contact between people.
Animals of many species, including dogs, often perceive eye contact as a threat. Experts recommend avoiding direct eye contact with an unknown dog, so as not to become a victim of a bite. According to a New Zealand Medical Journal report, young children are most likely to be the victim of dog attacks because they maintain eye contact out of curiosity or persuasion, perhaps thinking that eye contact will allow them to subdue the animal.
In the 1990s, the legendary black bear returned to Maryland's Catoctin Mountain Park after a twenty-year absence. Park officials advise visitors to avoid direct eye contact, especially if the bear is standing on its hind legs.
Chimpanzees use eye contact to signal aggression in hostile encounters, so looking directly at a chimpanzee in a zoo can cause agitated behavior.
Direct eye contact in some cultures
The eyes are an integral part of the face when it comes to seeing or communicating non-verbal information. Each of the seven universal expressions of emotions has pronounced changes that are reflected on the face, which can lead to the fact that we begin to feel the emotions of another person, almost completely changing thinking.
When traveling, human interaction with other people is inevitable, but depending on where you go, reading information from faces and eyes may not be as easy, and this is all because different cultures of the world have different attitudes towards eye contact. Since cultural norms are different, therefore, people from different countries communicate differently. The amount, duration, and interpretation of eye contact will differ depending on where you are.
In the United States and other European countries such as Spain, France and Germany, direct eye contact is considered a sign of attentiveness, honesty, trust and respect, understanding what the other person is saying. In the culture of the American Indians and most of the Latin American, Asian and African cultures, everything is quite the opposite. Among these peoples, direct eye contact is considered brash, confrontational, and aggressive. Because these cultures follow traditions of maintaining social hierarchy, avoiding direct eye contact is a sign of respect for elders and superiors, and is used to maintain harmony between people.
For Muslim countries in the Middle East, direct eye contact is acceptable and is considered a sign of sincerity and trust between people of the same sex. Direct eye contact between males and females, however, is not performed and is minimal if it occurs.
In the Islamic faith, Muslims often lower their eyes and try not to fixate on the face of the opposite sex and eyes after initial eye contact other than their legal partners or family members to avoid possible unwanted desires. Lustful glances from members of the opposite sex, young or old, are also prohibited. This means that eye contact between a man and a woman is only allowed for a second or two. This is practiced in most Islamic schools, with some exceptions, such as when a young man comes to seek a girl for marriage. If this is allowed, it is allowed only in accordance with the general rule: the look should not express "desire", only pure eye contact is allowed. Otherwise, this is not allowed, and is considered "adultery of the eyes."
Just because you're from a country where direct eye contact is the norm doesn't mean other people won't be offended or embarrassed when someone insistently makes eye contact while you're talking to them. If you live in a country where direct contact is to be avoided, you may be discouraged that someone could be impudent to look you straight in the eye. This is especially frustrating if the person is younger than you, subordinate to you, or of the opposite sex. Being aware of these cultural norms, you can facilitate communication, allowing people to accept each other as they are, to adapt to the cultural style of communication. Knowing the culture norms can improve your non-verbal communication skills. Through constant learning, you will be able to pick up the right body language, signals, especially if you find it difficult to look directly into someone's eyes.
Laertes sang about his childhood with his clear little eyes, and we will write about adult manipulations with the mirrors of the soul. Because this is not only a forgotten program with Lyubimov, but also a powerful tool that can decide human destinies. The look is a powerful thing, the main carrier of such things as trust, charisma and many others. A glance can seduce, warn, or offend. A kind of slimy round, lupy locators, about which it would not hurt to know a little more.
Nonverbal Power
The power of non-verbal cues in general can be illustrated by an interesting study that looked at the difference between verbal and non-verbal cues. As a result, it turned out that a person is more willing to trust non-verbal signals, especially in those moments when facial expressions and words contradict each other.
Actually, this only confirms the fact that the eyes send stronger signals and are even better informants than all other parts of the face combined. Therefore, psychologists, psychiatrists, psychics and other charlatans, working from photography, first of all look at the eyes. They already know that the eyes produce seven times more information than the mouth and gestures.
What is the norm?
How much can you look into other people's eyes during a conversation? Much depends on the situation, for example, in a one-on-one conversation, a person will naturally aim pupils at pupils much more often. In groups, people tend to look at the other person for about 3-5 seconds, but when having a face-to-face conversation, the time increases by 7-10 seconds before they look away.
So how much is considered normal? On average, 30 to 60% of the time spent in eye contact is decent enough. You seem to not drill the interlocutor with your eyes and show interest.
And if less time is spent, then they may be offended - they say, it’s not interesting for you to communicate with people.
Killers and lovers look long
When someone looks at you for a long time and does not explain their murky intentions, then do not rush to get scared - perhaps they are not going to kill you, but to love you well.
The fact is that a long look reflects a strong feeling, but which one depends on the context. And this is one of the great mysteries of body language. For example, young couples at dinner in an expensive restaurant are most likely looking out of loving feelings. And a strange man, who unexpectedly approached you on the street, will now take out a knife and look for the spleen.
A creepy look straight into the soul
In one study, a scientist stared long and hard into the eyes of his subject. He watched for so long that both of them nearly vomited from excitement and dislike. But in reality, whether eye contact is creepy, cowardly, or even aggressive depends a lot on culture.
For example, among the Japanese, on the contrary, looking away is considered a manifestation of respect towards the interlocutor, while in the West it is a sure sign of the inflamed cunning of the interlocutor. But in the Arab countries they look even more closely into the eyes than in Europe. That's the way it is, everyone has their own rules.
Judging by the eyes
Despite cultural differences, people continue to judge each other, as they say, "behind the back." In the West, wide-eyed people are usually called self-confident and are credited with leadership abilities, aggression, strength, increased anxiety, but as a compensation - a rare sharp mind.
Convincing look
Remember the most successful pushers of all sorts of shit into the masses and remember how many people in such advertisements looked directly into the eyes of the viewer. And this is no accident: the whole point is that the power of persuasion during eye contact works with a triple force. Even promoters know that if you look into the eyes of a passer-by, he will take a flyer from you with absolute certainty.
Liars don't look away
Old folk wisdom says that in a conversation it is easier to calculate than to pick up a boar with a toothpick - he will always look away. Psychological studies have shown that this is not true, or at least this is not a sign that can be trusted with a probability of up to 100%.
Now the liars have gone so hardened that they easily control their emotions and can switch the dynamics and topics of the conversation at any time, and for this you need to look into your eyes more.
Scientists, as usual, conducted an experiment in which they asked two impromptu thieves to take large sums from wallets. Of course, their reaction was recorded, and it did not at all remind of the eyes that were moving back and forth and trying to curtail the conversation - on the contrary, they tried to look more into the eyes of their victims.
sincere look
But if the lie does not make you look down, then it will do just fine. He has a long relationship with the look, but very tense. A sarcastic joke makes the interlocutor turn away and not make eye contact much more. Probably, because when you feel strength and superiority (and superiority in humor hurts the loser triple), you begin to hide your “mirrors of the soul” from them.
Eye control
Undoubtedly, to make a good impression on people, you need a little more than two eyes directed into their soul. But you need to start with the look, because this is the key to the human disposition. Control your gaze, the interlocutor should not see boredom, sadness, contempt in him, only interest. And not sucked from the finger, but as far as possible sincere. This comes with experience, so do not be surprised if someone suddenly says that a drunken Satan sleeps in your eyes, and his dream gives off an ominous brilliance.
