Building relationships is not as easy as many people think. Therefore, not all people are successful in their personal lives. At the same time, there are often cases when a person is unhappy with a partner, but still prefers not to part. Sometimes it does not stop even the fact that the second half changes and generally behaves indecently. A second chance is given, and then a third, and a fourth. About whether it is worth forgiving a person in a relationship will be discussed later.
More about second chance
Speaking of a second chance, people mean forgiveness or an opportunity for rehabilitation after wrongdoing. With regards to relationships, this is a very delicate and controversial topic.
Some believe that it is quite acceptable to continue life with a stumbled partner. After all, anyone can make a mistake. Indeed, such a point of view has a right to exist.
Others customized quite radically. They are not ready to forgive oversights and consider it quite reasonable to end the relationship. This position also has many arguments.
However, relationships cannot be considered on the basis of universal recommendations. An individual approach is important. Therefore, further will be considered both the pros and cons of the situation when a person is given a second chance in a relationship.
pros
Relationships have different duration. Most unions are united by the fact that over time they lose emotionality and richness. Therefore, often people begin to look to the side. Which in the end can lead to treason.
With a new partner, a person seems to feel fresh emotions again. But very often such an affair ends quickly. The vicious connection turned out to be short-lived due to many disagreements. And suddenly comes the understanding that in that permanent relationship, everything was as it should be.
But a loved one is already offended. And he needs to make a difficult decision about what to do with the relationship. On the one hand, you can give a second chance.
And this has the following advantages:
- Stability. Although the partner stumbled and offended, he did not cease to be a person in whom all the qualities and shortcomings are familiar. It is familiar and comfortable with him. He is already on the board. No one can guarantee that the new union will be the same.
- Finding new freshness and emotions in relationships. Indeed, there are many examples when, after treason, a faded union seems to receive a powerful boost of energy. And the relationship seems to start all over again. But it is worth considering that this does not always happen.
- The offending partner may rethink the importance of your soulmate for him and understand that there is nothing better than the current relationship. After all, people often tend to believe that it is good where they are not. But then they face this other reality in practice and realize that they were wrong.
- Such a negative experience fruitfully influence on both participants in a romantic union. Perhaps none of them have experienced this. It is necessary to draw the right conclusions from the current situation so that this does not happen again in the future.
- Motivation. For an offended partner, this is a signal that it is necessary to develop, become more interesting as a person, or take care of yourself more carefully. For the delinquent, this is a clear example showing that he is far from perfect. Therefore, he needs to be more disciplined and responsible, as well as learn not to succumb to temptations. It is the ability to work on one's vices that distinguishes a person from cattle.
It is worth considering that the listed points can turn out to be pluses only on the condition that both people are ready to continue the relationship and are able to draw the right conclusions from such a difficult situation.
Minuses
But there is another scenario that could develop if given a second chance.
Among the disadvantages of such a solution are the following:
- If you forgive such serious offenses, a person can feel impunity, and will continue to act nasty. Therefore, it is worth considering how the partner behaved during the entire period of the relationship.
- After such a mean act hard to trust your partner. Mutual understanding and support can completely disappear in a relationship. And what happened will only add fuel to the fire and lead to frequent disagreements.
- May occur problems with physical intimacy. This is due to the fact that such a delicate process depends on many details and conditions. It is worth breaking the harmony and trust in a relationship, and people can no longer make love normally.
- An offended partner waste time waiting for the person to improve. Often this time is calculated in years. It's impossible to return them.
- The offender is capable of inflicting far greater psychological trauma by doing even worse things. In fact, many people are not capable of appreciating the good. They perceive it as weak character and can spit in the soul without any regret.
As in the case of pluses, here it is necessary to rethink everything that was in the relationship and make a decision. It is also worth knowing that adults rarely change for the better, and all qualities and shortcomings remain with them forever. Therefore, when discussing the mean act of a partner, it is necessary to understand whether it was an episodic and oversight, or whether a person is prone to such manifestations.
In conclusion, it is worth recalling that the right choice will allow you to make complete awareness of the partner, as well as observation. Yes, love can distort a sober perception of reality. But in a relationship where feelings fade, this should not be a problem.
Therefore, it is recommended don't jump to conclusions. It takes a long time to make a decision. It is necessary to reason with a cool head, waiting until negative emotions subside. In the process of thinking, it is worth paying attention not to what the partner said, but to what he did. Especially in difficult and stressful situations. This will allow you to adequately assess the qualities and shortcomings of a person.
Unfortunately, we often hear the phrase: "Give me the opportunity to improve." Is the result ensured after the resumption of relations or are you waiting for a double disappointment? Is it worth it to forgive someone who once broke dreams and betrayed? It is believed that everyone deserves a second chance. Every couple breaks up for their own special reason. Young people do not always know how to give each other enough warmth, care, support and attention. Many despair of finding mutual understanding and part. After a while, the thought comes: "Maybe start all over again?" This means that the person is still attached to the other half. And what do psychologists say about whether it is worth giving a person a second chance?
Which couples are likely to rekindle their relationship?
There are many cases when broken relationships are resumed again, and life is getting better. In what cases can an attempt be successful:
- When people realize mistakes - their own and their halves or a friend. Such a person seeks to change himself and his life for the better.
- Careful analysis of errors will help prevent the emergence of conflicts in the future or correctly assess contentious issues. One cannot do without friction and disagreement in life, it is important to get out of difficult situations with the least losses.
- After parting, tears into the pillow, consolations of friends, returning a person again means treating your partner with even more love and reverence. If you first turn on the head, and then emotions, then the union will only grow stronger.
- Provided that the partner made a mistake once. There shouldn't be third or fourth attempts. Once you can come to understanding and forgiveness.
- If both parties to the conflict begin to control themselves, rebuild in a new way, show love for their soul mate.
- If the breakup was just a manipulation, an attempt to get attention.
- If the partners have many common interests related to the family, children.
People should be given a second chance, but it will only be successful if a few conditions are met. First, you must clearly decide what you want: joint leisure, special attention, moral support. Once you've made up your mind, convey it to your partner. Secondly, look for new ways to fulfill these desires. Find a compromise relationship model to feel the presence of each other in life. Don't agonize over whether to give a second chance in a relationship. Renew the connection, just try to modify it.
When will there not be a second chance?
Second attempt: will it be successful? Do not even doubt whether it is worth giving a person a second chance. You always need to give your partner the opportunity to change and become better yourself. The desire to return and connect with a loved one is caused by nostalgia or a feeling of loneliness. Anger and irritation disappear somewhere, only good memories remain: dates, declarations of love, affectionate words. Re-establishing a connection is possible only in 50% of cases. And those who try to return their soul mate several times in a row are only wasting time and nerves. Here are the cases in which there will be no second chance and mutual understanding will not improve:
- if the partners never found that stumbling block that prevented them from being together;
- if someone of the spouses does not want to yield and insists on his own;
- if a person is irresponsible about the opportunity to start all over again, does not value union or friendship.
Before you decide whether to give a person a second chance, understand that nothing will get better on its own. If your breakup was due to the fact that you did not see a future with this person, then do not hope for a quick improvement in the situation. You need to endure the pain of a breakup, but it will be better to move forward.
Separation factor analysis
There are good reasons behind every breakup. There are factors of separation quite insignificant: inattention, misunderstanding. It doesn't even say whether it's worth giving a person a second chance. But when it comes to lies, betrayal, treason, not everyone can forget everything and start over. A big offense cannot be quickly forgotten, it will still destroy the renewed connection. Not every man or woman can forgive for some serious flaws. Before you make up, think about whether you have the strength to forget everything.
Separation is unbearable
Relationships are formal and informal. Formal include living together, cares, life. The emotional and sensual sphere is behind informal relationships. Even if you left or parted, then at the level of feelings you can constantly remember your soul mate and count on her. After all, it is impossible to completely erase a person from memory.
Many psychologists advise not to completely end the relationship, but to become friends. When people live together, they get used to each other very much and even when they part, they continue to be together on a psychological level. If you part as friends, you can quickly recover from such an addiction.
Conclusions must be drawn by both
Often the reason for parting is disagreement. Learn to express your thoughts to your loved ones, do not expect them to guess about your desires. It is important to consider that the psychology of a man is slightly different than that of a woman. If you decide to give a guy a second chance, does it make sense to keep in yourself what you lacked. It is important that the need to restore communication arises for both. If there is confidence in the feelings on both sides, then you can try to glue the broken bowl together.
Disappointment also has advantages. With this feeling, you learn to accept people for who they are. Do not build illusions about the ideal person, because you also have flaws. Both partners must understand if there is a place for each other in their lives.
He tries, she doubts
What can be forgiven and what cannot? You should not return to narcissistic half-wits, lovers to give up, playboys, sissies. If your boyfriend does not belong to the above list, then give him a second chance. Even if he offended you, you may be angry for a while, but then look at everything with sober eyes. If the guy is trying to demonstrate his feelings and wants forgiveness, then give him this opportunity. Do not hesitate for a long time, perhaps it is just as hard for him as it is for you.
This is true love
If you are ready to sacrifice something and make compromises, then the second attempt may end in success. Arrange a meeting, discuss what did not suit you, and find a common solution.
If you had other connections after a breakup, but still thought about your boyfriend, then you just can’t let go of your past. Honestly admit to yourself - do you still love him? A positive answer indicates that you need to try again. In order to forgive, a person must be loved.
Starting over is not easy
Do you still doubt whether to give a second chance in a relationship? Use the tips, who should still go forward. Try to return the relationship if you generally like the guy, but you see some shortcomings in him. It is worth forgiving a person with a difference in worldview, a soft and indecisive personality. Also be loyal to a guy who does not have the opportunity to show secular gloss.
Don't save relationships alone. If your loved one does nothing for this, then humble yourself, because you yourself will not achieve anything. Also, do not hope for an instant happy life after the reunion. Take it slow, don't rush. If you and your soul mate take a few steps towards each other, then understanding and happiness await you.
Love is truly the most beautiful feeling available to a person. Love pushes a person to exploits and recklessness, allows you to feel the fullness of life and the desire to protect your beloved. But even the hottest fire of feelings can go out, as a result of which the relationship will end. The reason for the gap can be both an action and a rash word.
When parting with a partner, a person hopes that subsequent relationships will be stronger and more reliable. But not everyone is looking for a new lover. Often a person begins to regret the breakup of a relationship and suffers from longing and feelings of regret. At such moments, the thought often appears that it would be nice to return a loved one.
But is it worth giving relationships a second chance or is there no point in “entering the same river twice”?
When is it worth giving a second chance?
If, after breaking off relations with your beloved man, you begin to doubt the correctness of this decision, then think carefully about whether it is worth returning the former or whether it is better to find a more worthy life partner. Psychologists, based on their practice, argue that sometimes a second chance can only strengthen relationships and make them more solid.
Improving relations between lovers who decide on a second attempt is possible in the following cases:
- If a breakup is a strong enough stress for a person, then after such a shake-up, he can look at past relationships as if from the outside. Thus, after analyzing the actions and words of both partners, you can realize your mistakes so as not to repeat them in the future. If both partners clearly understand that they are ready to change, then the relationship can become truly strong.
- As the saying goes: “What we have, we don’t keep, but when we lose it, we cry.” A very true statement. Sometimes, after parting, a person begins to realize how wrong he was in relation to his partner, how little he paid attention to him. In such situations, there is a great chance to make up for lost time and show your chosen one how much he is loved and important. Then the relationship will noticeably improve, because caring for a partner and showing your love is a necessary attribute of a strong relationship between lovers.
- If you have too much in common, whether it's children together or a few years of living together, then awareness of past mistakes, fear of losing a partner again and responsibility for your own happiness will help bring your relationship to a higher level.
When a Second Chance Doesn't Guarantee Success
The second chance is, first of all, the opportunity to return a loved one and develop a relationship with him, based on the mistakes of the past. But if the second attempt will lead to success with a high degree of probability, then you should not think that it will be so every time. We are talking about the third, fourth and more attempts.
Unfortunately, a person who is not always in love is ready to admit that if his chosen one did not make enough efforts to correct the situation, having received a second chance, then for the third time he will no longer strive to strengthen the union.
- Unwillingness to look for reasons for disagreements. If you couldn’t find and fix the problem that interferes with your relationship on the second try, then the third time you won’t succeed.
- The inability to find a compromise. The ability to negotiate with a loved one and find a solution to the problem that suits both is a strictly necessary condition for a stable relationship. If you or your partner continue to defend your position and there is no willingness to meet your loved one, then how can we talk about mutual respect and the desire to be together?
- Lack of personal responsibility for a strong union with the chosen one. If you decide to give your relationship a second chance, then you should understand that you will have to make a lot of efforts to maintain and improve your relationship.
Before you decide to give a second chance, consider whether it is worth your effort. A second chance cannot guarantee that right now everything will happen as you dreamed, that everything will start from scratch and an exceptionally cloudless future lies ahead in the arms of a loved one.
- cheated on you regularly;
- raised his hand against you and humiliated your self-esteem;
- betrayed you or caused an unforgivable offense;
- did not appreciate you as his partner and as a person in general.
If you have thought it over and decided that your relationship needs a second chance, then listen to the recommendations of psychologists. The following tips will help you improve relationships and achieve harmony in them:
If you decide to give the relationship a second chance, then this suggests that the feelings between you still have not faded away. Respect each other and appreciate every moment spent together. By making every effort and surrounding your chosen one with love, you will get a reliable relationship that can become the basis for a strong family.
Second chance, is it worth gluing a broken glass? Or is it better to never fall for this notorious expression “second chance”, and send the broken glass straight to the trash can?
Today we will talk about what is this second chance and when to give it.
It often happens that people break up, but it’s impossible to forget about each other. It is then that the thought of a second chance arises, which is still sometimes worth giving. Of course, you can’t command your heart, and sometimes you give not only a second, but also a third, and a fourth chance, and so on. Is it necessary?
Before forgiving and returning or returning, you need to think, and carefully think about how much you need it, and of course your partner.
We analyze the reasons for the breakup. The fact is that if you decided to leave, you probably had good reasons for that. If the matter is not very serious problems, misunderstanding or inattention, then this can still be somehow solved, but if the matter is treason, lies, betrayal, then not everyone / everyone will be able to give a chance, forget everything and start life anew. It's all about human psychology, you can't just forgive quickly when you were greatly offended, resentment will gnaw and undermine your renewed relationship.
Therefore, not every woman, not every man can forgive and give a second chance.
Before you decide to glue a broken glass, think carefully about whether there is enough glue, in other words, whether you have the strength to forgive, forget, start over.
If you have made the decision to forgive and save the relationship, then you must understand that everything will not be the same as before, your life will change, and efforts should be made by both. The fact is that a person in itself is a dependent being, and in some cases it is dependent on other people, men and women. So, if you are physically used to a person, then you will not be able to quickly erase him from life, forget him. But there is also an emotional addiction, in some cases this addiction is called "love." Before giving a relationship a second chance, you should consider whether you were addicted, physical or emotional. And if you come to the conclusion that “it was love,” then the relationship should still be given a second chance, buy glue for a broken glass.
Speak and listen. Often the reason for parting is misunderstanding. Moreover, the misunderstanding of each other by partners in most cases is associated with disagreements or in general with the absence of any conversations. No one can know your thoughts and think that he loves, so he could / could have guessed - wrong.
Women must remember that men are by no means as quick-witted creatures as we would like, there are exceptions, but this is not about that now. They rarely know what a woman wants, and some don't really want to know. Therefore, it is important to express your opinion, it is worth telling your partner about what you lacked in the relationship before breaking up. And, perhaps, after listening to mutual claims, both of you will be able to change and start everything from a new leaf.
Should you give your relationship a second chance? If a person is not an empty place for you, then it is definitely worth it. But it is also worth weighing the pros and cons of a renewed relationship, who needs it more, because the need for a “renewal” should arise for both.
If you decide that the person is yours Darling, then let's have a second chance. Just don't turn your life into an endless series of failed attempts. And remember that the second attempt is a chance not only for him, but also for you. Buy glue and glue your broken glass, just do not get carried away, it is not always possible to establish a happy life with dishes glued from fragments.
