Sometimes in some cases you don't know what to do. You don't know what is right and what is wrong...
Are you sure what is good and what is bad?
I'll give you one example… You wake up in the morning and your child says to you: “I don't want to go to school!” You think it's very bad. But are you sure what is good and what is bad?
Recently (I don't know if you remember this incident) a father was taking his child to school. Not far from the school, the robbers broke into a bank in Athens, in Kallithea, stole a large amount of money, went out into the street, armed, they had a Kalashnikov, fired four times into the air, intimidating people so that no one would approach them. The people wanted to catch them - they informed the police, and she tried to detain the robbers. During the general panic, they stopped a car passing by in order to run on it and so escape. But in the car they stopped, the father was taking his little daughter to school. And he, protecting the child, resisted them, resisted. The robbers beat both him and the child. Luckily, none of the two were killed. But the girl was hit right in the stomach! The child was taken to the hospital, the danger passed, but, be that as it may, the girl experienced a huge shock and received terrible experiences.
And I think about this question: because if that child woke up that morning and cried and asked to stay at home and said: “I don’t want to go to school, because I don’t like school, because I’m something feel. I haven’t slept, I’m having a hard time, I haven’t learned my lessons,” then his parents would tell him, “It’s out of the question,” believing that if they give in, they will be detrimental to the success and well-being of the child. “It's out of the question for you to miss classes. You must go to school. You go, and leave your "I do not want." In any case, you will go to school!” And if I were in their place, I would do the same. Is not it so? Wouldn't you do the same? And you don't do the same thing every day? If your child protests what you think is "good", you say "this is good. And even more so the school, it is so useful. You can't miss school!" And you take him to school, whether your child wants to or not.
Naturally, if that father knew that this whole nightmare would happen on the way to school that morning and that the robbers would shoot at his child and at him ... And he would probably say: “If I had known, I would never have taken him! But how was I to know! After all, going to school is “good” and obligatory.”
So you're supposed to take some action, but you have no idea where they will lead you.
I don’t know if something like this has happened to you: you think about buying something, going somewhere to travel, meeting this or that person, behaving in a certain way, and you don’t know if something good will come of it ( and from what). You are not sure what to do and what tomorrow will bring you. Even with regard to those actions that seem at first glance very positive, very charitable, blessed and holy. I agree? After all, what could be better than sending your child to school? And yet, that morning, if he had not gone to school, it would have been much better!
Finally, what is the best and what is the worst? Dilemmas and questions that will be answered, I believe, at the end of our lives. And we will receive an exhaustive answer to all these dilemmas in eternity. On this earth, what we call "good" can bring us great pain. And what at first glance, as it seems, will bring us great pain, can lead us to something very “good” later on. And since we cannot discern it ourselves, we are left with one thing. I will talk about this further.
I see confusion on your face. You want to know everything right now, and I'll tell you. I think we have one left. We do not know this, we are perplexed about it, we remain ignorant of many things. And you often write me messages, letters and emails and say: “I think I'm going to do something. Tell me: is this right? I dont know. The only thing I know, I'll tell you about it. A little later.
I think how different things would be if we had a very lively and explicit . A very clear connection. That is, as when you see a person and turn to him, and he turns to you and clearly says what he thinks, so we could lively communicate with the Creator, with our God, the Lord. And then we would say to Him: “Lord, what should I do here?” And they would immediately hear His voice in response: “In this situation, do this. Walk straight. This is the surest way." Then, further: “Lord, is this movement correct?!” And He would answer you: “No, don't do it! It won't get you anywhere good. Do not continue. Change your plans." Now, if we had such a living and obvious connection with Him, our life would be wonderful.
But we are not like that. Before us is uncertainty. We do not understand what God wants from us. We do not know what God wants from me personally and from you personally, for what He wants from me, He may not want from you. And vice versa. He doesn't want the same from everyone. Everyone has their own path. And so many mistakes that bring us great pain are made along the way. And years pass, we act blunders and worry. We go in a direction that we think will lead to good, but in the end it leads us to bad. Of course, if you look deeply at what is happening, there is no "bad" thing. Everything ultimately leads to good. But we are in pain. We are crying. And we perceive everything that happens to us as everyday troubles. We get frustrated and disappointed.
Our perseverance must respect the signs given by the Lord to "Stop"
Therefore, I have worked out the following tactic as a way out for some situations. There is a question that is bothering you. You don't "knock on the door" for long (regarding this question). Knock-knock - try. The door does not open. One more time: knock-knock. The door does not open. Of course, if you kick it with your foot and break it out, you will be able to get inside as a result, but this will happen through a burglary. The most beautiful door that the Lord opens in our life, in my opinion, is the one that opens easily and freely. Of course, with effort and perseverance, but without selfish pressure. So I think. At the same time, our perseverance should respect the signs given by the Lord, and not insist too much, but accept these signs that warn: "Stop." Then think about it: maybe this is a sign from God that I should not be too stubborn and change course?
And one more clarification. Everything that I tell you today, as always, is not the ultimate truth. I don't know if I'm right. Or maybe it really isn't. But I say what I understand based on what you have read, heard and told.
Here, for example, one person goes to the airport. There are no tickets, and he is told: "We will put you on a waiting list." And so he waits his turn, and eagerly and prayerfully seeks to get a seat on this flight. He even prays and asks God: "I ask You, Lord, do something to get me on board, do what is best for me." Here are shouting out several names, his name is not called. In the end, he is left without a ticket. The plane takes off without him. He is very upset, upset, indignant, nerves on edge. What I am talking about has happened to many. Many, either because they were late to the airport, or because they did not have enough space, did not get on the right flight. A few minutes after the plane took off, everyone suddenly hears terrible news: the plane has crashed. And the man who just killed himself and lamented: “Well, why should I lose this flight ?!” falls to his knees, kisses the ground and exclaims with tears: “I escaped! I'm alive! I'm alive! If I had been on that plane, I would have died! And now I'm alive! But I so wanted to get on this flight at all costs, I persisted so, so instructed on my own, and here you are - it’s scary to imagine what would happen to me now!
And "goes" one of those who crashed. He appears to me and says: “What do you say to me? Well, that one, the other one, he did not get on the flight and escaped. And I? Why did this happen to me?" And then you know what I do? I am silent. I don't know what to answer him. Because in reality the phenomenon of life, the mystery of life, surpasses our understanding. The only thing I can say to him is, “My brother, don't ask me. You ask Him Who is the Manager of our life. You ask Him Who defines and regulates and knows everything. And directs the circumstances where he directs, for each of us. He knows how long we will live, when we leave, under what circumstances the end will overtake us. He alone knows how and why. He knows everything. But I don’t know and I can’t answer that question for you.”
I am really confused. But I know that the one who eventually survived becomes more mature after this, he looks at the world differently. He thinks: “Look what it can lead to! This means that in life it is not worth complaining and speaking the way I spoke at the moment when my plane took off; “Oh, how bad it turned out for me.” Because you do not know what is destined for you in the future and what is actually good and what is bad.
We are left with one. I will talk about it now. I've kept you in suspense for quite some time. Necessary ! Some, upon hearing this proposal, say: “In other words, I don’t need to do anything at all then? No movement? Just sit back and wait?" Of course you need to take action. You need to do the things that you have to do, you need to make plans. And then trust in the love of God and say: “My Lord, now You bless my deeds and arrange everything Yourself. I don't know what I'll get out of what I'm starting to do. There may be mistakes, failures, problems. Maybe I'll be kicked out altogether. I start. Bless my life."
"Good" does not mean that everything will be "in chocolate", easy and pleasant
And I do not rely on the fact that everything will be fine in the sense of "cloudless". Be careful! Probably, this is the mistake people make in life, and you in yours, and I in mine. Different teachers, preachers, theologians - and I could make this mistake - brought us up from childhood and taught that when you are close to God, everything will be fine with you. But life came and disappointed us. Because they never explained to us what “good” means. After all, "good" does not mean that everything will be "in chocolate", easy and pleasant. Because in reality we saw that it works rather reverse. We realized that when you are close to God, your affairs do not always go well. You face adversity, and sorrow, and persecution, and sickness, and hardship, and failure - all sorts of unpleasant things. This is the truth of life. But through it you will learn maturity, inner enrichment, humility. Your soul, having gone through these misfortunes and problems, will become wise, intelligent, enlightened.
Who said that a person next to God will not face unforeseen situations? And that something that he did not expect and did not even imagine that such a thing could happen in his life would not happen to him! No, do not even think that next to Christ, loving the Lord, you will not be subjected to life's trials. You will, and very many. With only one difference: you will know how to overcome them. You will overcome many worries and learn to stay above the waves and dive into the abyss in order to avoid the swift onslaught. And when a wave begins to come upon you to cover you and disappoint you, you will sink into humility, into love, into surrendering yourself to the will of God, into complete submission. You will surrender and say, “Lord, I cannot explain my life. But I know - and I enough- that you love me.
A mother came to me for confession several years ago. I ask her: "Do you have a family?" She says yes. And I saw tears in her eyes. - "Do you have children?" - “There was a daughter, and I sent her by force on an excursion organized by the university. I forced her to go so that she would not be isolated and cut off from the guys, so that she could communicate with them, and not be alone, not close in on herself. I told her: go and you. They went abroad, to Tokyo, and there my daughter, father, was killed by lightning!” You understand?! Can you imagine how this mother feels? Did she really want to harm her child? Did she wish him something bad? She invited the girl to go so that she would be happy. Encouraged her to befriend the university company. “Come on,” he says to her, “break away from home, unwind a little, rejoice too. Take a break from the constant work." And in her thoughts she had nothing bad. And then lightning struck the balcony, where her daughter was sitting nonchalantly, and the child died. Imagine now this mother getting a phone call from Tokyo to announce her daughter's death!
There are a lot of surprises in life, a lot. Sometimes, when you think about all this, you want to say: "I'd rather stay at home, I won't go anywhere, and then nothing will happen to me." You know nothing. If you are a rationalist and have no trust in God, then you really think so. And this has its own logic.
But if you love God and put Him into your life, then you are saying, "I put myself completely in the hands of God and where He will lead"! I can't be sure of anything. Of one thing I am certain: He loves me. “But how does He love you? asks another. “You yourself recently told me about a child who was shot with a rifle; about the girl who died; about a man who didn’t get on the plane and many others with whom I don’t know what else happened. Is this really all "love"?
Listen. A few days ago I had a problem with my teeth. They got sick. While eating, I bit into something hard - it turned out to be my tooth! It broke: a small piece broke off. I went to treat him. The dentist is my spiritual daughter (she confesses to me). And when she comes to me, she stands before me with fear. And here I am sitting in an armchair and, just as she, the dentist, “trembles” before confession, so at these moments I put myself into her hands, and tremble, and say: “My God, what awaits me now?” Very painful moments! As a rule, visiting a dentist is an unpleasant experience for a patient. If you have a toothache, you understand what it is ... or an ear, or there was a migraine. These are terrible moments. And now the doctor gives me anesthesia - it's useless! The doctor makes enhanced anesthesia - and everything inside goes numb. Earned a drill, drills, a circle. I felt severe pain, my leg trembled, my nerves were tense, like a bowstring - unbearable. And I said to myself: “This doctor loves me so much and hurts me so much. How is it possible that she, who loves me so - I am sure of this - brought me such suffering ”? And even though she knew I was in pain, she continued. No kidding, she continued.
Love does not always mean "stroking the head"
So love - it does not always mean "stroking the head." it means hurting the one you love, and not stopping when the other groans in pain, or suffers, or suffers, if you know that there is no other way out. Who will give us the answer to this question: “Why is there no other way out?”? I think the answer is given by the Cross of Christ: "Behold, through the Cross the joy of the whole world has come." Through pain comes joy, through darkness of trial comes light of hope. And in the end, life lives on. I don't know how: it's a sacrament surpasses my understanding. But what I know is this: I can communicate with you today, because my favorite dentist did not take pity on me the day before yesterday, but hurt me, tormented me, immobilized my lips, I did not understand what was happening to me, became numb, felt dysphoric. However, all this brought me recovery (although at that moment I was terribly ill).
What is the result? Man commits himself to God. There is no other way out.
(To be continued)
Religious reading: prayer when you do not know how to do the right thing to help our readers.
Give, Lord, to my unworthiness the grace of understanding, in order to recognize what is pleasing to You, but useful to me, and not only to recognize, but also to do, so as not to be carried away and not to cling to the empty, to sympathize with those who suffer and condescend to sinners.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.
Oh, great hierarch John Chrysostom! You have received many and various gifts from the Lord, and like a good and faithful servant, you have multiplied all the talents given to you for good: for this reason, you were truly a universal teacher, as every age and every rank is learned from you. Behold, the image appeared to you as a youth of obedience, to a young one - chastity shone, a husband - diligence a mentor, an old one - a teacher of kindness, a monk - a rule of abstinence, a prayer - a leader from God inspired, wisdom seeking - an enlightener, a well-spoken ornate - the words of a living source are inexhaustible, beneficent - a star of mercy, to those in charge - the rule of a wise image, truth to a zealot - boldness inspirer, truth for the sake of the persecuted - patience a mentor: all were thou, but save every one. Over all of these, you acquired love, even if there is a union of perfection, and by that, as if by the power of God, all the gifts in your soul were united into one, and there the love divided reconciling, in the interpretation of the words of the apostles, preached to all the faithful. But we are sinners, according to each one our own gift of property, unity of the spirit in the union of the world are not imams, but we are vanity, irritating each other, envying each other: for the sake of this gift, our divided is not into peace and salvation, but into enmity and condemnation to us. The same to you, the saint of God, we fall down, the servants of God (names), we are overwhelmed with contention, and in contrition of heart we ask: with your prayers, take away from our hearts all pride and envy that divides us, but in many places we will unrestrictedly remain one church body, but let us love one another with your prayerful words and with one mind confess the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, the Trinity of the same essence and inseparable, now and forever and forever and ever. Amen.
Angel of God, my holy guardian, given to me by God from heaven! I diligently pray to you: enlighten me today, and save me from all evil, guide me to a good deed, and direct me on the path of salvation. Amen.
Prayer when you don't know what to do
When you are at a crossroads, trying to make the right decision, turn to the Lord God with a prayer request. Only he knows what to do in a twofold situation.
We are so afraid of making mistakes.
With a head we leave in horoscopes, signs and legends.
We rely on intuition, and it often fails.
Go to the Orthodox Temple and buy six candles.
Put 3 of them to the icon of the Savior.
Being at the sacred image, inaudibly say these prayer lines.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God. Tell me how to act, do not punish me for a serious sin. Amen.
Be heartily baptized and leave the Church.
At the most appropriate time, retire to a locked room.
Light all the candles. Place an Orthodox icon next to it.
Read the prayer “Our Father” several times.
Place the sign of the cross on yourself.
Return to the Savior.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God. In thought, I don’t know what to do, I pray, help me solve all the problems. I believe in your wisdom infinitely, and that my fate is fleeting. You know our sins and vices, you read lessons in the biblical canons. I stand at a crossroads, afraid to make a mistake, I hope for your help and right hand. Amen.
Place the sign of the cross on yourself. You blow out the candles.
My dears, all problems will certainly be resolved!
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Youth Forum
From (city): Moscow region, city of Korolev
From (city): Sevastopol-Moscow
Lord, I am a sinful person and I do not understand how it should be, but You, Merciful, enlighten me on how to act.
Let me completely surrender to the will of Your Holy One.
In every hour of this day, instruct and support me in everything.
Whatever news I receive during the day, teach me to accept it with a calm soul and firm conviction that everything is Your Holy Will.
In all my words and deeds, guide my thoughts and feelings.
In all unforeseen cases, do not let me forget that everything is sent down by You.
Lord, give me the strength to endure the fatigue of the coming day and all its events.
Guide my will and teach me to pray, believe, hope, endure, forgive and love.
Save me, my Savior, according to Your goodness, and not according to my deeds! You want to save me; I hope for You, my Lord, and I entrust Your will to the Holy One: do with me if you wish! If you wish to have me in the light: be blessed. If you wish to have me in darkness: be blessed again. If you open for me the doors of Thy mercy: good and good. If you close the doors of Thy mercy to me: blessed are you, who shuts me into the truth. Otherwise, do not destroy me with my iniquities, glory to Your immeasurable mercy. If you destroy me with my iniquities, glory to Your righteous judgment: as you wish, arrange a thing about me!
God! I don't know what to ask of You. You alone know what I need. You love me more than I know how to love myself. Father! give to your servant what I myself cannot ask. I do not dare to ask for a cross or consolation, I only stand before You. My heart is open to You; You see needs that I do not know, see and do according to Your mercy. Strike and heal, bring me down and lift me up. I revere and remain silent before Your Holy Will and Your destinies incomprehensible to me, I offer myself as a sacrifice to You. I have no other desire than the desire to do Your will.
Teach me to pray! Pray in me yourself. Amen.
From (city): Camel
From (city): a city near a fast river, near the blue mountains.
As always on point.
Initiative is punishable, Sasha.
"Hour by hour is not easier!" Rosa sighed and stepped off the scales.
From (city): Camel
Although what is more useful - punishment or encouragement?
What helps to cleanse oneself, and what pushes one into the abyss of pride or despair?
When you think about it, it's easier to donate yourself somewhere for organs, and that's it.
There is no intermediate state between ice and water, but there is between life and death: employment
From (city): Leningrad time
Cast your cares on the Lord, and He will support you (Ps. 54:23)
From (city): Camel
Well, this is an Orthodox forum, and in the Orthodox doctrine everything is quite unambiguous (at least at the consumer level).
So anyone can do it 🙂
There is no intermediate state between ice and water, but there is between life and death: employment
From (city): a city near a fast river, near the blue mountains.
The first two posts will be about the root 🙂
"Hour by hour is not easier!" Rosa sighed and stepped off the scales.
From (city): Camel
There is no intermediate state between ice and water, but there is between life and death: employment
From (city): Kaliningrad, Lutugino, Shakhtyorsk
And if the faith is so-so, and you are guided by the maximization of potentially received nishtyaks, then any prayer is empty and absurd.
Such is the optimistic recursion 😉
"Civilization without the resurrection of Christ is the senseless and hopeless suffering of hundreds of generations living and dying under the gray slab of an indifferent sky"
(Yuri Maksimov, writer and deacon)
From (city): a city near a fast river, near the blue mountains.
Look: the question is about actions, right?
You can act according to your conscience or according to life 🙂
If you have faith, then you will always be in good conscience.
And if the faith is so-so, and you are guided by the maximization of potentially received nishtyaks, then any prayer is empty and absurd.
If the question is in good conscience / not in good conscience, there is a difficulty, but somewhat different than "I don't know how", and in some ways it's easier.
"Hour by hour is not easier!" Rosa sighed and stepped off the scales.
You you can not reply to messages
You you can not edit your posts
Sympathy
family and marriage website
Brief prayers.
Lord God, Lord of the whole world, visible and invisible. All the days and summers of my life depend on Your holy will. I thank You, most merciful Father, that You allowed me to live one more year; I know that because of my sins I am not worthy of this mercy, but You show it to me according to Your indescribable love for mankind. Extend Thy mercies to me, a sinner; continue my life in virtue, tranquility, in health, in peace with all relatives and in harmony with all neighbors. Give me an abundance of the fruits of the earth and all that is necessary to satisfy my needs. Most of all, cleanse my conscience, strengthen me on the path of salvation, so that, following it, after many years of life in this world, passing into eternal life, I would be honored to be the heir to Your Kingdom of Heaven. Himself, Lord, bless the year I begin and all the days of my life. Amen.
Prayer of the Optina Elders.
Lord, give me peace of mind to meet everything that the coming day brings me. Let me completely surrender to the will of Your Holy One.
For every hour of this day, instruct and support me in everything.
Whatever news I receive during the day, teach me to accept it with a calm soul and firm conviction that everything is Thy Holy Will.
In all my words and deeds guide my thoughts and feelings.
In all unforeseen cases, do not let me forget that everything is sent down by You.
Teach me to act directly and reasonably with each member of my family, without embarrassing or upsetting anyone.
Lord, give me the strength to endure the fatigue of the coming day and all the events during the day.
Guide my will and teach me to repent, pray, believe, hope, endure, forgive, thank and love everyone.
Prayer for the reconciliation of people.
Lord Lover of mankind, the King of the ages and the Giver of good things, who destroyed the enmity of the mediastinum and gave peace to the human race, and now grant peace to Your servants (name): root Your fear in them, and affirm love for each other: quench all strife, take away all disagreements temptations. For you are our peace, and we send glory to you, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, now and forever, and forever and ever. Amen.
Prayer of St. John of Kronstadt
God! Your name is Love: do not reject me, an erring person.
Your name is Strength: support me, exhausted and falling!
Your name is Light: enlighten my soul, darkened by worldly passions.
Your name is Peace: pacify my restless soul.
Your name is Mercy: do not cease to have mercy on me!
Prayer for the gift of understanding.
(Saint John Chrysostom)
Grant, Lord, now to my unworthiness also the grace of understanding, in order to recognize what is pleasing to You, but useful to me, and not only to recognize, but also to do, so as not to be carried away and not to cling to the empty, in order to sympathize with those who suffer and condescend to sinners.
Prayer at a loss how to act.
Lord, I am a sinful person and I do not understand how it should be, but You are merciful, teach me how to act.
Prayer for forgiveness of forgotten sins.
(Saint Barsanuphius the Great)
Master Lord, since it is a sin to forget one’s sins, then I have sinned in everything to You, the One Who knows the Heart; You and forgive me everything according to Your philanthropy; This is how the splendor of Your glory is manifested, when You do not repay sinners according to their deeds, for You are glorified forever. Amen.
Prayer for deliverance from temptations.
(St. Simeon the New Theologian)
Do not allow me, Master, Lord, temptation or sorrow or illness beyond my strength, but deliver them from them or grant me the strength to endure them with thanksgiving.
Weaken, leave, forgive, God, our sins, free and involuntary, even in word and in deed, even in knowledge and ignorance, even in days and nights, even in mind and in thought: forgive us all, as Good and Humanitarian. Amen.
Prayer for fear.(when scared)
Almighty God! The hour of Your glory has come, have mercy on us and deliver a great misfortune, we place our hopes on You, but we ourselves are helpless and insignificant. Help us, God, and deliver us from fear. Lord, have mercy on us. Amen.
Lord, You see my illness, You know how sinful and weak I am, help me to endure and thank Your goodness.
Lord God Almighty, be merciful to my children, bring them to faith and salvation, keep them under Your shelter, cover them from every evil lust, drive away from them every enemy and adversary, open their ears and eyes of the heart, grant tenderness and humility to hearts them.
(St. Rev. Silouan of Athos)
Lord, enlighten Your servant, You love him.
Prayer for the remission of the sins of youth.
Remember Thy bounties, O Lord, and Thy mercies, as if they are from the ages. The sin of my youth, and remember not my ignorance, for the sake of Your goodness, Lord.
Lord, bless Thy servant (name) with Thy grace.
Lord, have mercy on them, they don't know what they're doing.
What to do when you don't know what to do? Interesting recommendations and effective methods
There are situations in which a person feels helpless in terms of decision making. And he just doesn't know what to do. When you don't know what to do, you give up. But one way or another, you still have to make a decision. So, it is worth turning to some sources to understand what options are available in hopeless situations.
morale
To begin with, a person must put his emotions in order. It is necessary to calm down, let through all the experiences, take a breath. And only when a person feels that his condition has returned to normal, you can proceed to the most important thing - to think.
If he is overwhelmed by the question of what to do when he does not know what to do, then he is in a vicious circle. Man will endlessly torment himself with these words. But the question will never be answered. Although, in fact, it is not.
There is always a way out. And the answers are too. We just think they don't exist. What comes to mind, a person dismisses, because it does not suit him. But you can't give up options. Everything that comes to mind has the right to life. But what if each thought is developed as a possible scenario for the development of an event? Even the most absurd. Since, as it seems, there is no way out, then you can try.
A fresh look
The problem with many people thinking about what to do when they don't know what to do is their standard way of thinking. Suppose a person urgently needs money. It's still a long time before payday. No one to borrow. As a rule, more than a person does not allow any options. Either pay or borrow.
When thinking, you need to go beyond the usual. Even if the thoughts are completely absurd. It doesn't matter. The main thing is that everything happens in our life. And in any case, there is a way out. Usually the subconscious produces an unusual, non-trivial option. Sometimes, an epiphany comes to a person. And the idea, which had not previously arisen as an alternative, turns out to be quite adequate and capable of influencing the situation.
listen to yourself
Often a person who thinks about what to do when you don’t know what to do is hindered by his head. And to be more precise - logic and reason.
Let's say there are two scenarios. For clarity, a fictional example can be given. Suppose a young man was offered a promising permanent job abroad, which he dreamed of all his adult life. But here, in Russia, he has a girlfriend with whom they have been together for several years. And she cannot go with him, as she continues her studies in the magistracy. Or she simply does not want to go to this country, being afraid of a foreign language, environment, mentality, and if only because she does not know what she can do there.
This is about the situation when you don’t know what to do with a person. On the one hand, there is the improvement of one's own life, prospects and a chance, which, perhaps, will never happen again. But on the other - the second half. Well, if all possible compromises are sorted out, then there is only one thing left - to listen to the inner voice. And be honest with yourself. The heart will tell you what is more important and necessary. And after making a decision, a person himself will feel whether he made a mistake or not. Usually the heart does not deceive.
Of course, the first time after making a decision will not be easy. After all, a person will still have to give up something. Or, at least, make adjustments to the plans. But time will put everything in its place.
Search for information
What to do when you don't know what to do? Of course, look for useful information that can help in other sources. No need to limit yourself to your own thoughts, especially if they do not help. You can turn to a close friend for advice, to various thematic resources. Watch a movie, read a book, listen to music. Sometimes it happens - the ear "clings" to some phrase, and then the person realizes that the right decision lies in its context. In any case, even if you can’t find the answer to the question of what to do when you don’t know what to do, you will definitely be able to get distracted. And then, after a little mental relaxation, you can return to the pressing problem.
Appeal to conscience
The Austrian writer Karl Kraus said: “When you don’t know what to do, do the right thing.” There is a simple truth in this philosophical phrase. "Right" as conscience tells, so as not to harm anyone. Sometimes it turns out that a person acts stupidly, but correctly. An example is a simple situation. Let's say a person found a wallet. Inside, in addition to a considerable amount of money, was the owner's debit card. He takes, takes the wallet with all the good things attached to it to the bank branch. Employees find the owner's data, call him, describe the situation, and a happy but absent-minded person comes to collect his property, heartily thanking the one who found everything.
Silly act? Surely many will nod in the affirmative. After all, you could have kept the money. Is it correct? Definitely. After all, everyone could be in the place of a person who lost his wallet. Again, everything happens in life.
With God's help
But it happens that all the arguments are useless. And the person really does not know what to do. And believers even seek help from the Almighty. There is even a special prayer. When you do not know what to do, the Orthodox faith will help. Whether there will be a result or not is a separate conversation. But it will be easier for a person, at least.
Who to pray to when you don't know what to do? Lord God. The words are something like this: “Lord Almighty, I thank You for allowing me to spiritually see into this situation and mercifully come to terms with it. God, You are all-knowing, guide me to the truth and strengthen me in love. Amen".
Motivation and action
To resolve this or that situation, you need to completely discard fear. Modern people are too much and often afraid. Fear blocks the mind and prevents thinking. And also uncertainty. These are two qualities that make it difficult to make a decision that, it would seem, is already in the palm of your hand. That is why you need to gain confidence. Quotes of great and successful people often help with this. Michael Jackson, for example, said: “If you are not confident in yourself, then nothing good will ever come of it. Why? But because if you don’t believe in yourself, then how can someone believe in you?
In general, motivating quotes often help to make the same decision. They seem to morally push a person to this. And in his subconscious, the thought arises: “This is an authoritative person who has achieved a lot. So this man knew what he was talking about. He can be trusted."
One should remember such a person as Nick Vuychich. This is a modern motivational speaker. Looking at him, everyone understands that there are no hopeless situations. After all, this man has no arms or legs. But he was able to succeed, goes in for sports, got married and always smiles. He also travels to different countries and cities, gives performances and publishes books. That kind of perseverance is impressive. Well, Nick once said, “You can't run when you're in trouble. We need to look for solutions without stopping, and believe that everything is for the best. Patience is the key to victory.”
radical change
There are thousands of situations in which a person gives up because he does not know what he needs to do. So, it was said above - you should never run away from problems. It is, but if there is definitely no way out, you can try.
For example, at work, a person has a disgusting boss who forces him to do something that is not in his competence. Quitting is not an option, because you can be left without money. Suddenly there will be no other work? In this case, you need to put aside the fear and quit. And then - be, as it will be. Many will confirm that the problem is solved much faster and more efficiently when a person comes face to face with it. In extreme cases, it will be possible to “interrupt” with part-time jobs for some time.
This is just one example. As practice shows, radical changes often become the right decision. After all, they change not only a person’s life, but also his worldview in some way.
Sometimes we get stuck. Or at the crossroads. Where you go depends on your fate.
You can't know what will make you happy, even after five years. But you know what makes you happy now. Therefore, you do not know where to go next, and we will tell you: follow your dream, no matter how far it is. Here are some reasons:
1. You can't see into the future
Life is full of interesting twists and turns, but if we are constantly chasing the things we enjoy doing, be it work or hobbies, it will make traveling more interesting and fun. Maybe now you love making shelves for your home. Maybe you can sell them. In five years, you can become a successful designer, designer or furniture maker. You have experience in creating designer furniture, which can help you with other projects in the future.
2. Be comfortable with discomfort
Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you would like. Sometimes you don't have enough money to do everything you have planned. If you have something that you really want to do, then you must be prepared to live in uncomfortable conditions. You may have to give up many habits or change your place of residence, but it's worth it to fulfill a dream.
3. Get over distractions
Stop procrastinating. You are not getting younger. I'm sorry, but it's true. If you don't find the time to fulfill your dreams, then you will end up with nothing at the end of your life. Take those first steps. Log out of your Facebook or VKontakte and start working. You won't get anywhere just thinking about how cool you could be.
4.Open the door
Opportunity may be knocking, but if you do not open the door, how can you take advantage of this opportunity? You must seize opportunities when they are presented to you. Sometimes at the wrong time, but it doesn't matter. Opportunities arise randomly. Open the door or opportunity can go and knock on someone else's door.
The most important thing in fulfilling your dreams is action. You have to make decisions and try - even if at first something does not work out. At the end of your life, you won't regret what you did. You will regret that you did not have the courage and willpower to do what now seems necessary to you.
For many seekers and walkers, there comes a moment when they feel a kind of disappointment - there is so much to do, read, study, and there is no result. And there can be various reasons, for example:
there is a result, but it is not the same as you imagined;
you know a lot, but you don’t apply it enough in practice, changes don’t come from knowledge;
they chose the wrong teacher, the wrong system, it doesn’t suit you, they got confused;
you do not have enough patience, you have not yet realized that spiritual growth is not a pill for all troubles;
walking alone for too long, needing a mentor, etc.
Whatever the reason, in a situation where you are not satisfied with the result, you need to stop and ask yourself some diagnostic questions that will help you understand if you are moving in the right direction.
The main question is: what do I really want? To get a reliable answer to it, you need to be very honest with yourself. Ideally, I recommend entering a meditative state (several very long inhalations and exhalations, comfortable posture, nothing distracts, do not rush anywhere, maximum relaxation) and mentally descend to the center of the chest, looking at the world from there, through the eyes of the Soul. Look carefully at every aspect of your life - what do you really want in it, and what, on the contrary, do not want?
For example, a woman may think that she wants to start a family, but answering this question sincerely, she suddenly discovers that this is a stereotype, and not her true desire. And in fact, she lacks warmth, care, attention, communication, and she is not ready for a family, she is hostile to men, bears resentment against them, and has not been freed from claims. Or in professional activity, a person may think that he wants a prestigious job, but from the Soul he sees that he needs recognition of his merits and talents, and does not receive this, because he is not engaged in his own business, in which he has no special talents. Those. what is needed is not a prestigious job, but one to which the Soul lies, albeit not at all prestigious, but it will bring him recognition and, what is much more important, deep satisfaction.
And so for each of the vital points - honesty with oneself brings a completely different level of understanding and awareness of one's true needs. If you saw that you are in dire need of love, warmth, support, then you need to look for all this not on dating sites, but in yourself, first of all. Without giving enough warmth to herself, a woman will stand in the position of a consumer in relation to men. And wanting only to receive, she will meet in her life the same men who want to solve their internal (and external) problems at her expense. From the lack of another person, love cannot be filled. Therefore, in such a situation, not dating sites are needed, but the School of Self-Love, first of all.
The second diagnostic question: why do I want it, why do I really need it? And here you need even more sincerity and openness to yourself. There is no need to be afraid of anything, we have everything - both good and bad, it already exists, from the fact that we see it, it will not increase, but the benefits can be significant.
The next question is: what is stopping me from getting what I need? Suppose there is not enough love, warmth, support in life, what prevents you from getting all this? Perhaps the belief that only another person can give you this. Or that you don't deserve to have it. Here you need to be careful, because if something is missing in life, it means that there is definitely something that this “something” is blocking. Here, perhaps, the article “Beliefs that limit our lives” will be useful to you. Each of the reasons must be considered for how to eliminate it.
To authenticate, I like the simple technique used in Kate Byron's author's method - after each answer, you can ask yourself a security question: is it really true? It would seem that it’s nonsense, a clarifying request, a formality, but I recommend putting it into practice and making sure that this simple question has great power, like a powerful searchlight, highlighting everything true.
The fact is that very often we say and even think what we think we would say and think, being more ideal than we are. That is, we ourselves create a certain image of ourselves better, and from this image we are already building our life. What then happens to the inner world? How do your outcast aspects feel? This is the point of origin, and then the deepening of internal conflict.
Make it a rule to be honest with yourself and accept everything that is yours unconditionally. This is a very simple and pleasant way to joy and well-being. Today we are learning to be sincere with ourselves, tomorrow we will be able to afford not to hide our shortcomings in front of others, and what a heavy stone will fall from our tired shoulders.
If you have any questions or need help, write to me.
With love,
Julia Solomonova
When we ask ourselves whether we live correctly, whether we are moving in the right direction, this is the first sign that we have lost our life orientation, which means it's time to stop and think carefully. The reality is that none of us can be 100% sure of what we do. We cannot predict what will happen to us in 10-20 years, and what decision should not have been made. However, we know exactly what we are especially lacking at this very moment in time, which can make us happy right now. What to do with your life?
How to live when you don't know what to do with your life? When completely confused and lost existence? Here are 5 simple truths that will help you make the right decision and realize the inevitable.
1. Understand yourself
When you are confused in yourself, it is worth learning one rule - do not rush into action until you have figured out your desires. Have an evening of silence, immerse yourself in or take a hot bath, pay attention to your thoughts. Try asking yourself leading questions, maybe your soul already knows the answer, it just seems “uncomfortable”? Start fantasizing about “global” changes in your life, how would you like to live, if you had all the means for it? Feel free to be honest with yourself.
2. Accept the call
In life, events can occur that do not fit into ours. For example, he hoped to build a military career, but did not pass the status. Or she was going to be promoted, but the boss was changed, and she got laid off. Often life changes dramatically and not at all according to ours. What to do? Change with it, adjusting to the circumstances, find new opportunities and new benefits! A disaster can turn into an advantage, the main thing is to interpret it correctly.
3. Stop procrastinating
If you already know where to go, but delay action and look for excuses, then you risk missing out on the chance to change your life. Being in endless thoughts, afraid to take a step towards a new future, you thereby refuse it and lose the precious. By the end of your life, it may turn out that you will be left with nothing, because you decided and doubted for too long, and therefore your chance went to another, more efficient and purposeful. You will only be to blame for this.
4. Do not chop off the shoulder
Sometimes you are so poisoned by everyday reality that you are ready to drop everything and plunge into a dubious enterprise, just to start a completely new life. Alas, this tactic is a failure: no one is immune from failures, therefore you cannot be 100% sure that you will get to the top as a winner without preparation and due experience. What solution? Engage in a business to which the soul lies, without breaking bridges. Just to understand how far your path is, do you like the opening prospects, are you experienced enough? Otherwise, you will be disappointed even more than before.
5. Prepare for discomfort
Even if you have found a solution and set yourself a worthy one that inspires and gives you strength, this does not mean that life will flow in a new direction in an instant, giving you the long-awaited joys and delights of life. Most likely, the conquest of the mountain Olympus will require due endurance and patience, you will have to put up with the unexpected, infringe on yourself in comfort. And all because changes in life never start smoothly, but they always pay off a hundredfold!
Remember: do not be afraid of searches and experiments, because risk is a noble cause, it opens up new sides of your personality, allows you to see new horizons. The only thing you will regret, standing a centimeter from a new life, is that you did not dare to take a step. A decisive step towards a new life.
