The ability to assess the correctness of their own actions is not unique to people. Human self-esteem: definition and features

V.P. LEVKOVICH, Candidate of Philosophical Sciences

The upbringing of the new man is the most important component of communist construction. Our very reality forms in the Soviet people high moral ideals, the need to work for the common good. Ideological and educational work is also aimed at developing a Marxist-Leninist worldview, eradicating consumer tendencies, egoism, without which life in any collective cannot be imagined.

Today the cultural level of a Soviet person is high enough to enable him to work on himself, on his character, behavior, and objectively assess his aspirations and actions. And in this complex individual work, the party principle of the unity of word and deed, testing oneself first of all by deed, remains a reliable guideline.

Self-esteem - the ability to evaluate oneself, one's capabilities and abilities - plays a huge role in the life of each of us. After all, the behavior, mood, many vital decisions depend on how you feel. A correct attitude towards oneself, a realistic assessment of one's data helps to rationally distribute one's forces, set solvable tasks for oneself, and maintain peace of mind.

Not only that: self-esteem is an important regulator of relationships with other people. Imagine a person who considers himself to be an excellent specialist, an impeccable master in this or that business, while he is just a mediocre worker with a lot of self-importance, and those around him, naturally, do not recognize his authority. There is a ground for unfounded claims on the one hand and skeptical, mocking attitude on the other.

A misconception about oneself and the collision of this idea with reality sometimes gives rise to bitter disappointments, internal conflicts, manifested in a bad mood, a decrease in vitality. People with high self-esteem often become touchy, distrustful, they develop stubbornness and bitterness.

Faced with a dilemma: to change self-esteem or ignore the opinion of others, a person with a persistently overestimated idea of ​​his own merits sometimes chooses the second path. He breaks ties with those who rate him lower than he rates himself. And if these are people with whom he communicates on a daily basis? Such a gap inevitably gives rise to psychological discomfort, alertness, and suspicion.

Internal conflicts caused by the discrepancy between self-esteem and the results of practical activity can be experienced by people who underestimate their own capabilities. They often perceive unexpected success as an accident, it causes them a feeling of strangeness, inconvenience, does not bring natural joy. They are very sensitive to comments, to failures in work, they perceive negative reviews painfully, remember for a long time, and this deprives them of the necessary vital activity.

Knowing yourself is not an easy science. And in order to comprehend it, we need the help of others.

A person makes up an idea of ​​himself on the basis of how he assesses his appearance, abilities, character, moral qualities, professional capabilities, position in society. Moreover, for different people, these parameters are not equivalent. For one, for a sense of self-respect, it is enough to feel his adherence to principles, a clear moral position - everything else fades into the background for him. For another, appearance is especially important: considering himself ugly, he is infringed by this, and therefore timid and timid.

Self-esteem isn't just about personal experiences; a great influence on its formation is exerted by the assessment of a person by other people: in the family, in the immediate environment, at work. Children are especially suggestible in this sense. A number of studies by Soviet psychologists have shown that the self-esteem of preschoolers and primary schoolchildren depends mainly on the opinions of those around them - parents, educators, and also peers.

Research carried out with older children, pupils of grades 4-6, revealed that they willingly accept an unreasonably high assessment, follow it even when it is clearly contrary to their personal experience.

In this experiment, the children were given to solve mathematical problems, and they could not compare the answer with the problem book and did not know if they had solved it correctly. The experimenters who failed, as planned, praised them, told them that everything was fine with them, and the students, encouraged by this, chose increasingly difficult tasks for themselves for further work. But then the moment came when the work was returned to them with all the noted errors. And what? The subjects could no longer overestimate their capabilities and continued to choose overwhelming tasks for themselves.

As you can see, it is not so difficult to make a teenager overly self-confident. But even the disapproving assessment is perceived by children as trustingly, creating an underestimated self-image. It has been experimentally established that low self-esteem among lagging students is often caused not so much by their objective capabilities as by feedback from teachers and comrades. Lagging in studies, constantly reinforced by negative characteristics that a teenager hears at his address, leads to an increase in self-doubt, the appearance of a feeling of inferiority.

The increased sensitivity to the assessments of others, inherent in children, can, to one degree or another, persist in an adult. One, under the influence of praise, quickly grows in his own eyes, willingly listening to flattering reviews, the other looks at himself soberly, not allowing himself to turn his head. There are people who “know their worth,” undeserved criticism does not disarm them, others, under the influence of negative assessments, quickly wither away.

For example, a person worked in the same team and felt confident there, knew that he was assessed positively. But then he was offered a new job, he meets with other people, expecting that they will appreciate him the same way. It is quite possible that the first contacts will turn out to be not so favorable, that due to some accidental circumstances or superficial external observations, here he will be evaluated lower than he expected. And because of this, some people have their own self-esteem immediately becomes lower, they lose their former energy, begin to doubt their abilities.

We learn the true measure of our own strengths and weaknesses in specific life situations, in communication with other people and, of course, in practical activities.

For example, this is by no means a rare family collision. The child's bad behavior, some of his wrongdoing is discussed, and the wife angrily throws to her husband: “I can't cope with him alone, and you don't care about him! You are a bad father! "

The husband is full of inner protest. How so, he loves his son, he always worries when the child is sick, he is upset even now ... No, he does not accept accusations, he is simply offended!

So it is necessary at such a minute - or even not at such a moment, but after cooling down, after an hour or two, alone with yourself calmly think: am I a bad father or a good one after all? What am I doing to raise my son? Not what feelings do I have for him, but what do I do? When did I give up my pleasures to go for a walk or play with him? What did you teach him? What problems did you help to solve? Objective answers to these questions, perhaps, will help to give yourself a correct assessment.

Or, for example, at work, a person heard the accusation of sluggishness, inertia, and irresponsibility. Take offense? Reject? Silently agree?

The position of the offended is the most unconstructive, it will not help you in life. Another thing is important - to understand for yourself whether the criticism was fair or not. Putting your emotions aside, try to calmly think about your work based only on facts. Have you really missed the deadlines for completing any tasks? Were there any breakdowns or gaps through your fault? More or less your comrades are doing, what are the results of your work compared to them?

Experiments conducted by psychologists have shown that failure at work lowers self-esteem and forces them to turn to easier tasks. But, of course, even in the experiment, such a relationship was not always straightforward. Moreover, it should not be straightforward in life. Indeed, along with the ability to correctly assess oneself, among the human merits, there is such an irreplaceable quality as persistence in achieving goals, the ability, despite failure, to try your hand over and over again. And how often a retreat before the first difficulties turns into an unforgivable mistake!

And if you have not coped with any task, try to take a sober look at yourself in this situation, correctly assess your knowledge, capabilities, and abilities. The ability to face the truth often becomes the key to subsequent achievements. And on the contrary, if in the failure that befell you you are trying at all costs to justify yourself to yourself, if you do not want to notice your shortcomings and are looking for the reason in others, then it is unlikely that success will accompany you in the future.

Emotional intelligence has been talked about for a long time, so for 60% of managers it is already obvious that EI is a very important indicator when choosing candidates for an open position.

To stay in demand in a volatile job market and compete with artificial intelligence, employees will need to develop skills beyond the power of computers and AI.

According to the World Economic Forum's report The Future of Jobs, by 2020, emotional intelligence will become one of the most sought-after qualities in employment.

What it is

Emotional Intelligence (EI)- a person's ability to recognize the emotions, intentions, desires of other people and their own, as well as the ability to manage their own and others' emotions. In other words, the better the EI is, the more accurately a person will be able to interpret the situation and will be less stressed.

It is difficult to simultaneously perceive, use and understand emotions, as well as to manage them. Usually, a person has well developed 1-3 components of emotional intelligence.

There are several models of emotional intelligence. Perhaps the easiest to understand is the mixed model. It consists of 5 characteristics that explain EI.

• Self-knowledge - the study of yourself, your mental and physical characteristics
• Self-control - the ability to manage your emotions to achieve your goals
• Social skills - the ability to interact successfully with other people
• Empathy - the ability to define the feelings of others
• Motivation - incentives that induce a person to take action

Signs of a person with low emotional intelligence:

• Prone to resentment
• Do not know how to forgive
• They do not know how to sympathize and compassion
• They do not know how to understand emotions and feelings, both their own and those of others
• Think others are too sensitive
• Focused only on yourself
• Constantly argue
• Poor control of their emotions
• Unable to learn from their mistakes
• Can't listen and hear

Emotional Intelligence Myths

A lot of myths have already accumulated around the concept of "emotional intelligence", now it has become difficult to figure out what it is and how to apply it in life. Let's try to figure out where the truth is.

1. EI is for manipulation

Yes, emotional intelligence allows you to better understand not only your emotions, but also the emotions of others, which makes it possible to manage relationships. But this should not be confused with manipulation. According to the definition, psychological manipulation is a social and psychological impact, the desire to change the perception or behavior of other people using covert, deceptive or violent tactics. And developed EI is exactly the opposite. There is no concealment, deception or manipulation, moreover, EI allows you to understand when the manipulation is directed at you.

2. A person with developed emotional intelligence constantly restrains emotions

In fact, a person with a developed EI can ignore the senseless emotion of others and include an inner observer when necessary. This helps to keep calm, not to be led by emotion, but to see the essence that is hidden behind it. EQ helps you understand that any non-constructive action could actually be a positive intention.

3. Empathy is our everything

Empathy is the ability to empathize, it helps to better understand the feelings of others. But the mere understanding of what is happening to others does not at all give an understanding of this world. People with developed empathy and other underdeveloped EQ skills are ready to empathize, but they absolutely do not understand what to do next with these experiences and emotions. Empathy without awareness, without sufficiently developed stress tolerance and goal-setting can only bring harm, not benefit.

How to evaluate?

What questions to ask candidates to better assess their level of emotional intelligence:

When interviewing a potential employee, try to ask more questions about how he would behave in a given situation. For example:

When was the last time you failed? What happened? How did you feel, what did you do?

When was the last time you received criticism? How did you feel?

Was it that you felt frustrated at work? What did you do in such cases?

Notice how the candidate describes their feelings and emotions. It is important to understand whether he is able to correctly interpret the emotions of others, analyze his behavior, draw conclusions from this, without blaming others for the failures.

Here are five more questions to help you identify candidates with high emotional intelligence. They are also good because most likely you will receive the most honest answers to them.

1. Who inspires you? Why?

You will be able to understand what types of behavioral relationships your candidate respects.

1. Imagine starting your own company. What will be its three main values?

The candidate's response is likely to reflect his or her own true values.

1. What skills and experience in what area do you lack?

Remember, curiosity and a zeal for continuous self-improvement are important signs that an employee is doing well with EI. If a candidate finds it difficult to answer a question or thinks for a long time, most likely he believes that he already knows everything.

1. Teach me something that you are good at. Imagine that I have never heard anything about this before.

Through this question, you will be able to test several qualities. Does the candidate know how to explain something in simple words, how attentive he is to his textbook, how long it takes him to come up with an answer to an extraordinary question.

1. Name 3 factors that have influenced your success the most.

In order to find a team player who will bring something positive to the company, it is very important to find a person who is focused not only on his own success, but also on the success of the company. Therefore, pay attention to how often the candidate uses "I" or "we" in their success story. This will help determine if a person is selfless or selfish.

Tests to measure emotional intelligence

There are many test options for assessing a candidate's emotional intelligence. But we must not forget that this is not the main, but an additional diagnostic tool. It is not entirely correct to make the final decision only on the basis of tests; it is better to use them to double-check your assumptions.

1. The Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT) is one of the first tests to assess EI. This test reveals the ability to understand emotions of oneself and others, and also to use them to solve problems.
2. Goleman's test shows a person's ability to emotionally adapt and assess a situation. It is based on checking whether a person has 5 main characteristics of EI. The test consists of 10 questions.
3. The Hall test determines in the candidate, in addition to the ability to recognize emotions and manage their state, also the ability to self-motivation.
4. The Asperger test helps to identify autistic signs, cognitive features, and comorbid disorders. Psychologist Simon Baron-Kogan and colleagues at the Cambridge Center for the Study of Autism have developed a scale for assessing the level of empathy. The average EQ value for the control group was 42, for the group with Asperger's syndrome / high-functioning autism - 20.

How to develop

Emotional intelligence is not the only thing to look for in candidates. A strong EI will also help recruiters succeed. Therefore, let's take a closer look at how it can be developed.

The good news is that unlike IQ, emotional intelligence can be developed at any time in your life. If you experience awkwardness or discomfort when communicating with loved ones and colleagues, then with some effort and desire, it can be overcome by developing emotional intelligence.

• Try to analyze your emotions and be aware of yourself. Write down how you feel, why you have this or that feeling and how you behave in different situations (in a state of rest, pleasure, joy, anger, etc.).
• If negative emotions arise, find a way to neutralize them. Music, a walk in the fresh air or tea with chamomile - it is important to find your "medicine" and turn to it in case of need.
• If an argument and meeting with an opponent cannot be avoided, always try to try on the opposite point of view, understand how he feels and voice it. Seek the opinion of others, this is the only way to develop empathy.
• During communication, be calm, try to remain as open as possible and do not press.
• Remember that you cannot control your emotions, but you can control your reaction to them. Try to react with more restraint to stimuli, and always look at the cause of their occurrence.

How to develop emotional intelligence within the company?

The level of EI within the team affects the ability to hear each other, neutralize conflicts, clearly convey their point of view, motivate themselves and colleagues. In general, work effectively. To raise the level of emotional intelligence among company employees:

• Make sure employees feel valued

If an employee has the right to vote and the ability to influence the internal processes of the company, he feels himself an important and valuable part of the company and the team. Talk to employees regularly about how they feel about any changes in the company. Make it easy for them to let you know when they are upset, angry, or scared. Don't forget to thank your colleagues more often and remind you of how much they contribute to the company.

• Make your feedback regular and factual

Giving, as well as receiving, positive and negative feedback helps you to improve yourself and become better. But be open to receiving criticism as well. You can lead an employee to assess your performance by asking: "If you were in my place, would you change?" You must control your reaction to whatever you hear in response. If you do not like what you heard, first analyze why it causes you such a reaction, and only then respond.

• Make Emotion Control Training Accessible to All Employees

Outbursts of anger, resentment, and frustration at work are often the result of previously held back emotions. Trainings should teach you to express your emotions verbally, calmly solve difficult situations and prevent emotional outbursts.

In conclusion

Look for candidates who have a passion for what they do and who remain calm when passions are raging around them. Promote and encourage EI growth for existing employees. Keep in mind that a higher level of emotional intelligence will help you succeed as a recruiter, because it is self-awareness, empathy, and good communication skills that can help you strengthen your relationships with candidates.

And remember that you should not rely solely on this indicator, people with high and low levels of emotional intelligence can work together in the same company.

The problem of the emergence and development of self-esteem is one of the central in the development of personality. Self-esteem is a necessary component of self-awareness, i.e. a person's awareness of himself, his physical strength, mental abilities, actions, motives and goals of his behavior, attitude to the environment, to other people, to himself.

Self-esteem- an individual's assessment of himself, his capabilities, qualities and place among other people.

Self-esteem includes the ability to assess your strengths and capabilities, to take yourself critically. It allows a person to measure their strengths to the tasks and requirements of the environment and, in accordance with this, independently set certain goals and objectives for themselves. Thus, self-esteem forms the basis of the level of aspiration, i.e. the level of those tasks for the implementation of which a person considers himself capable. Present in every act of behavior, self-esteem is an essential component in managing that behavior. All this makes self-esteem an important factor in personality formation.

Self-esteem can be adequate and inadequate. Depending on the nature of self-esteem, a person develops either an adequate attitude towards himself, or an inadequate, incorrect one. In the latter case, a person is constantly faced with failure, he often comes into conflict with others, the harmony of the development of his personality is disturbed. The nature of self-esteem determines the formation of certain personality traits (for example, adequate self-esteem contributes to the formation of self-confidence, self-criticism, perseverance, exactingness; inadequate - uncertainty or excessive self-confidence, uncriticality).

Adequate self-esteem, an adequate attitude towards oneself are the highest stage in the development of self-esteem and are characteristic of an adult. In the process of a child's development, there must be some features of the formation of self-esteem, specific for each stage of age development.

A lot of research has been devoted to the problem of developing self-esteem both in our country and abroad. Western European and American psychologists view self-esteem mainly as a mechanism that ensures the consistency of the individual's requirements for himself with external conditions, i.e. maximum balance of the individual with the social environment surrounding him. At the same time, the environment itself is viewed as hostile to humans. This approach is characteristic of both S. Freud and his neo-Freudian followers (K. Horney, E. Fromm, and others). In the works of these psychologists, self-esteem acts as a function of the personality and is considered in connection with the affective-need-sphere of the personality.

From the point of view of Soviet psychology, the role of self-esteem is not limited to the adaptive function; self-esteem becomes one of the mechanisms that implement the activity of the individual.

The works of K. Levin and his students, who were engaged in a special study of motives, needs, the level of claims and their correlation, are of great importance for solving the problem of self-esteem.

As a result of these and other studies, scientists have come to the conclusion about the relationship between self-esteem and the level of claims. From this point of view, K. Rogers's theory is interesting.

Personality, according to K. Rogers, arises in the process of development, and its essence is the individual's knowledge of himself and self-esteem. Self-esteem arises as a result of interaction with the environment, evaluative interaction with other people. The child's behavior and his further development are primarily consistent with his self-esteem.

In individual development, as K. Rogers says, a conflict can arise between a person's idea of ​​himself and real experience, which includes both the assessments of others and moral values. In some cases, the cause of the conflict is the discrepancy between self-esteem and the assessments of others, in others - the discrepancy between self-esteem and the ideal idea of ​​oneself, to which the person seeks to respond. But this discrepancy is not always pathogenic. K. Rogers believes that the way out depends to a large extent on how self-esteem has developed in the individual experience of a person. Some people are unwilling to rebuild their self-esteem and misinterpret their real experience. Others are able to rebuild their self-esteem, bringing it in line with their real experience. Flexibility in assessing oneself, the ability to adjust one's behavior under the influence of experience is a condition for painless adaptation to living conditions. Of decisive importance for the normal mental state of a person is agreement with oneself, that is, a correct, adequate attitude both to oneself and to one's capabilities. Psychologists note the importance of the need for a positive assessment for the development of the personality: the individual needs the approval and respect of other people. On the basis of this respect, self-esteem arises, which becomes the most important need of the individual.

In Soviet psychology, studies of the problem of self-esteem are associated with the study of the problem of development and self-awareness, with the names of B.G. Ananyeva, S.L. Rubinstein, L.I. Bozovic, M.S. Neimark, L.S. Slavina, E.A. Serebryakova and others. These studies are devoted to the study of the level of aspirations of children, their confidence or lack of confidence in themselves and the related features of their self-esteem.

Self-esteem, entrenched and became a character trait, is not limited to the framework of any one activity, but extends to other activities. An important factor in the development of a child's personality is the assessments of those around him. The emotional well-being of a child depends on what kind of relationship he has with the people around him, whether he meets the requirements that are presented to him, how much his need for a positive assessment is satisfied. With age, self-esteem as a motive for behavior and activity becomes a fairly stable formation and more significant than the need to evaluate others.

The genetic need for assessment is an earlier education than the need for self-assessment. With age, self-esteem to a certain extent emancipates from the opinions of others and begins to perform an independent function in the formation of the personality, mediating the subject's attitude to reality, including the assessments of others. The essence of this function lies in the fact that a person, on the basis of an assessment of his capabilities, makes certain demands on himself and acts in accordance with these requirements.

Assessment of a person's abilities is actually the task of predicting the success of his implementation of this type of activity. Naturally, this is a statistical problem, solved under conditions of a high level of uncertainty, and, therefore, even in principle, it makes mistakes of a methodological nature.

In this case, errors can be of two kinds:

• a decision is made about the lack of abilities of a given individual if they are objectively present (errors of the first kind);
• a decision is made on the availability of abilities in the absence of them objectively (errors of the second kind).

Unfortunately, there are practically no statistics on errors of the second kind. They seem to be random, not instructive, and not of public interest. As for the errors of the first kind, they are widely publicized, intrigue society and analyzed. Among those for whom mistakes of the first kind almost redrawn their fate and almost blocked the path to world glory were the commander A. Suvorov, the writer A. Chekhov, the mathematician N. Luzin, the physicist A. Einstein, the artist I. Smoktunovsky and many others.

In this regard, speaking strictly mathematically, we can talk not about measuring the ability itself, but only about its statistical assessment. Sources of error in assessing human abilities are diverse..

At first, it is not always possible to take into account the specific conditions in which the subject is. Even the presence of innate inclinations does not guarantee the manifestation of abilities. The reason may be, for example, a discrepancy between inclinations and abilities due to a lack of interest in activities that require those abilities that the individual is trying to discover.

Secondly, due to the complex interweaving of innate and socially acquired factors that determine abilities, it is often not the abilities themselves that are assessed, but the personality traits.

Thirdly, the most common indicator of the manifestation of abilities - the rapid assimilation of knowledge and skills with high performance - is biased. Will, determination, perseverance, determination and other personality traits play an important role in achieving business success. For the practice of teaching and upbringing, such sources of "interference" in assessing abilities, of course, can be tolerated. But in the scientific-theoretical, research plan, where the "purity" of the result is required, this is unacceptable.

Fourth, errors in assessments of abilities can also arise due to the phenomenon of their compensation. As you know, the structure of abilities is a whole set of factors. For example, literary ability cannot rely only on rich imagination. It requires aesthetic feelings, imaginative memory, interest in human psychology, etc. At the same time, the ability of different people for the same activity can be provided by different qualities. For example, in the structure of mathematical abilities in one person, the leading is memory for numbers and operations, in others - the consistency and analytical thinking. As a result, the same success in activity is achieved due to different components of abilities. Moreover, the insufficient level of development of one component can be compensated for by a more vivid manifestation of the other.

Thus, the structure of abilities provides an individual with the property of compensating some abilities with others, relying on the strengths of his personality. However, if, under these conditions, the level of development of that component, which seems to the researcher to be the most significant in relation to the results of the activity, is assessed, and the phenomenon of compensation is not taken into account, then this individual may be recognized as incapable in relation to the requirements of this activity. At the same time, the error of the first is allowed. From the examples given, it can be seen that the property of compensation is manifested within the limits of both one type of activity and different types. True, the compensation mechanisms turn out to be different: in the first case, they talk about the psychophysiological aspects of compensation, in the second - about the social ones.

There are a large number of test procedures designed to assess abilities. However, they, in fact, reveal not ability, but the fact that a person has a certain level of knowledge, skills, skills and experience, efficiency of thinking, resourcefulness. Moreover, tests often ignore the dynamics of an individual's acquisition of these elements, which form the basis of human life. At the same time, both slow-witted and "speedy" can be equally capable in the framework of a particular activity. They say that as a child, the Nobel laureate physicist Niels Bohr had great difficulty in solving problems of medium complexity due to the extreme inertia of thinking.

In the activity approach when diagnosing abilities as criteria ability assessments are most often considered:

• the pace of progress in mastering this type of activity;
• the breadth of the transfer of emerging psychological qualities (the influence of previously formed qualities on the acquired ones);
• the ratio of neuropsychic costs and performance results.

As a rule, this path makes it difficult to assess the abilities of children who have not yet mastered one type of professional activity.

In the functional approach, it is proposed to diagnose abilities through indicators of the number and severity of congenital inclinations. However, here, too, difficulties arise with the selection of those inclinations that are included precisely in the assessed ability. Moreover, errors in the assessment appear due to the uneven development process of the personality itself. For example, the presence of age sensitive periods, puberty lead not only to a time shift in the component abilities, but also to variation in severity. All this testifies to the fact that the problem of abilities is far from complete and science has to put in a lot of effort, not only in terms of theory, but also in the organizational aspect, bringing together all the information obtained in various areas of research.

Most people tend to rate themselves slightly above average. This allows us to conclude that a person has a need for a sufficiently high self-esteem, that is, everyone wants to respect themselves. In people suffering from neuroses, self-esteem is often overestimated or underestimated, and sometimes even extreme (the kindest, most shy, most honest). People with hysterical manifestations express such judgments: "I am much smarter, more beautiful, kinder than most people, but I am the most unhappy and sickest."

Overestimated self-esteem contributes to touchiness, intolerance to the slightest remarks (however, there is another extreme: from the height of his “I” he does not take even serious criticism to heart). A person with inadequately high self-esteem is potentially conflicted in situations when it comes to rewards and incentives for work. The discrepancy between the expected and real rewards naturally results in resentment and envy, which accumulate and, finally, break through with a sharp accusation against someone. Excessively low self-esteem of a person entails his excessive dependence on others, dependence and even ingratiating himself, shyness, isolation, even distorted perception of others is manifested, an “inferiority complex” is formed, the behavior of a “loser”.

The formation of self-esteem and self-esteem is influenced by many factors that act already in early childhood - the attitude of parents, the position among peers, the attitude of teachers. Comparing the opinion of the people around him, a person forms self-esteem, and it is curious that a person first learns to evaluate others, and then to evaluate himself. And only by the age of 14-15 years a teenager masters the skill of introspection, self-observation and reflection, analyzes his own results achieved and thus evaluates himself (“If I didn’t pass up in a difficult situation, then I’m not a coward” , I am capable ", etc.). A person's self-esteem can be adequate (a person correctly, objectively evaluates himself), or inadequately overestimated or inadequately underestimated. And this, in turn, will affect the level of personality aspirations, which characterizes the degree of difficulty of those goals that a person strives for and the achievement of which seems attractive and possible to a person. The level of aspirations is the level of difficulty of the task that a person undertakes to achieve, knowing the level of his previous performance. The level of aspiration is influenced by the dynamics of failures and successes on the path of life, the dynamics of success and failure in specific activities. The level of aspiration can be adequate (a person chooses goals that he can really achieve, that correspond to his abilities, skills, capabilities) or inadequately overestimated, underestimated.

The more adequate the self-esteem, the more adequate the level of aspirations.

Character is manifested not only in relation to other people, but also to oneself. Each of us, deliberately or without realizing it, often compares himself with others and as a result develops a fairly stable opinion about his intellect, appearance, health, position in society, that is, forms a "set of self-assessments" on which depends, are modest we are either arrogant, demanding of ourselves or complacent, shy or arrogant.

A low level of aspirations, when a person chooses too simple, easy goals (although he could achieve much higher ones) is possible with low self-esteem (a person does not believe in himself, low estimates his abilities, opportunities, feels “inferior”), but it is also possible and with high self-esteem (when a person knows that he is smart, capable, but chooses simpler goals, so as not to "overwork", "not stick out", showing a kind of "social cunning"). An overestimated level of claims, when a person sets himself too complex, unrealistic goals, can objectively lead to frequent failures, disappointment, and frustration.

Self-esteem is a generalized attitude of a person to oneself, in direct proportion to the number of successes achieved and inversely proportional to the level of aspirations (self-esteem = success / aspiration), i.e. the higher the aspiration, the greater the person's achievements must be in order for him to respect himself.

If a person makes unrealistic claims, he often encounters insurmountable obstacles on the way to achieving the goal, fails, experiences, scientifically, frustration.

Frustrations are specific emotional states of a person that arise in the event of the appearance of insurmountable obstacles on the way to achieving the desired goal. Frustration manifests itself as aggression, anger, which can be directed at others ("aggressive frustration"), or at oneself, blaming oneself for failures (regressive frustration). Frequently repeated states of frustration can fix some characteristic features in a person's personality: aggressiveness, envy, anger - in some; lethargy, self-doubt, "inferiority complex", indifference, lack of initiative - in others.

If a person does not come out of a frustration state for a long time, then a neurosis is formed - a disease that arises as a result of a person's conflict with the environment on the basis of collisions between a person's desires and reality that does not satisfy them.

Formula for human self-esteem (self-esteem = success / aspiration) suggested by the American psychologist William James.

Level of claims- the level that a person seeks to achieve in various spheres of life (career, status, well-being, etc.), the ideal goal of his future actions. Success is the fact of achieving certain results, the implementation of a certain program of actions, reflecting the level of aspirations. The formula shows that self-esteem can be increased either by lowering the level of aspirations, or by increasing the effectiveness of one's actions.

With strong deviations from adequate self-esteem, a person may experience psychological discomfort and internal conflicts. The saddest thing is that the person himself is often not aware of the true causes of these phenomena and is looking for reasons outside of himself.

With a clearly overestimated self-esteem, a person:
- acquires a superiority complex ("I am the most correct"), or a complex of two-year-olds ("I am the best");
- It has idealized the idea of ​​oneself, of one's abilities and capabilities, of one's significance for the cause and for the people around (trying to live according to this ideal “I”, often creates unjustified friction with other people; after all, as F. La Rochefoucauld said, there is no better way to get yourself screwed up than to think you are better than others );
- ignores personal failures for the sake of maintaining their psychological comfort, maintaining their usual high self-esteem; repels everything that interferes with the prevailing self-image;
- interprets his weaknesses as strengths, passing off the usual aggressiveness and stubbornness for will and decisiveness;
- becomes inaccessible to others, "Mentally deaf" , loses feedback with others, does not listen to other people's opinions;
- connects his failure with external factors, other people's intrigues, intrigues, circumstances - with anything, but not with your own mistakes ;
- refers to a critical assessment of oneself by others with obvious distrust, referring all this to nagging and envy;
- as a rule, sets impossible goals for himself;
— has a level of aspirations that exceeds its real capabilities ;
- easily acquires such traits as arrogance, conceit, striving for superiority, rudeness, aggressiveness, toughness, quarrelsomeness;
- behaves emphatically independently, which is perceived by others as arrogance and disdain (hence, a hidden or explicit negative attitude towards him);
- susceptible to the persecution of neurotic and even hysterical manifestations ("I am more capable, smarter, more practical, more beautiful, kinder than most people, but I am the most unfortunate and unlucky");
— predictable, has stable standards of their behavior ;
- has a characteristic appearance: straight posture, high head position, direct and steady gaze, command notes in his voice.

With a clearly low self-esteem, a person:
- has a predominantly anxious, stuck, pedantic type accentuation character, which constitutes the psychological basis of such self-esteem;
- as a rule, insecure, shy, indecisive, overly cautious;
— desperately needs the support and approval of others, depends on them ;
- easily gives in to the influence of other people, thoughtlessly follows their lead;
- suffering from an inferiority complex, seeks to assert itself, self-actualize ( sometimes - at any cost , which leads him to promiscuity in the means to achieve his goals), feverishly make up for lost time, prove to everyone and, above all to himself, his significance that he is worth something;
— sets himself lower goals than he can achieve ;
- often "Goes away" into your troubles and failures, exaggerating their role in your life;
- is too demanding of himself and others, overly self-critical, which often leads to isolation, envy, suspicion, revenge and even cruelty;
- often becomes a bore, annoys others with trifles, causing conflicts both in the family and at work;
- has a characteristic appearance: the head is slightly pulled into the shoulders, the gait is indecisive, as if insinuating, when talking, the eyes often avert to the side.
The adequacy of self-esteem is determined by the ratio of two opposite mental processes in a person:
- cognitive, contributing to adequacy;
- protective, acting in the opposite direction to reality.

Self-esteem is also linked to self-esteem.... You cannot run away from yourself and you cannot hide, therefore each of us must see ourselves from the outside: who I am; what others expect from me; where our interests coincide and diverge. Self-respecting people also have their own line of behavior: they are balanced, not aggressive, independent.

To evaluate oneself is to consider oneself within a certain hierarchical system. People differ greatly in their sense of self-worth, and many of these differences are found in everyday life. When a person refuses to do what he believes incompatible with his moral value , they say about him that he is proud. When a person tries struggling to convince others of your importance , he is accused of vanity. When a person refuses to give praise yourself that others think he deserves, he is called humble.

Much of what a person does or refuses to do depends on his level of self-worth. Those who do not consider themselves particularly talented do not strive for very high goals and do not show upset when they fail to do something well. People who consider themselves unable to resist temptation avoid situations in which they might succumb to the temptation. A person who thinks of himself as a worthless, worthless creature is often reluctant to make an effort to improve his own destiny. On the other hand, those who value themselves highly tend to work with great stress. They consider it beneath their dignity to work not well enough.

The level of a person's dignity is determined not by what he declares publicly, and not by what he sincerely thinks about himself, but by how he constantly acts in relation to himself. If a person is especially sensitive to inattention, if he desperately avoids situations in which his weaknesses may be revealed, if he indulges in dreams so that his legal capacity deteriorates, there is reason to conclude that he is seriously insecure.

It has long been suspected that those who are very self-righteous and overbearing are only compensating for deep-seated feelings of inferiority. If a person speaks with great confidence, but avoids situations where his abilities can be impartially tested, then everyone will begin to doubt him. Conscious self-esteem turns out to be just a protective armor, a way to prevent you from looking at yourself too closely.

When a person cannot accept himself as he really is, the main efforts are directed rather towards self-defense than towards self-knowledge.

The psychological effects of our self-awareness

Millions of Russian citizens "earn money" as political scientists, economists and social psychologists. Almost in every kitchen you can hear a detailed explanation of what is happening in Russia, Ukraine, and the whole planet. We are not only able to evaluate the event (in the most objective way! At least it seems to us so.), But also to explain what is going on in the head of each of the participants. True, in fact, we rarely manage to do this. There are too many traps scattered within our consciousness. Over the past century, psychologists have experimentally established many patterns of our thinking.

01. Others are always the same

Scientific name outgroup homogeneity effect.

The simplest illustration: it seems to us that we, the Europeans, have very different faces, but the Chinese or Negroes are all the same. Or another example. Ask any resident of Central Russia a simple question: "What color is the hair of the Chechens?" And you will immediately receive an unambiguous answer: “Black. What else? " But the Chechens' hair can be black, and copper-red, and light brown.

The same thing happens at the level of social characteristics. Lawyers, police officers, Western Ukrainians, fishermen, villagers, Americans, oppositionists ... It seems to us that this is a single mass with a common outlook on life and a single psychological structure.

How works

The division of the world into "us" and "foes" was developed in ancient times. Paleontologist Alexander Markov in his book "Human Evolution" refers to an experiment with monkeys, which showed photographs of different animals - both monkeys of the same species, and elephants, hippos, giraffes. When the animal saw its congeners, it held its gaze and considered each photograph as something new. But elephants and hippos did not arouse interest: why look at pictures if there is one and the same animal?

In humans, the so-called principle of cognitive economy is added to this innate mechanism. Our brain is very lazy and tries in every possible way to reduce the amount of processed information. Why analyze the psychology of each individual official or policeman when you can use a simple scheme: since he belongs to this professional group, it means that he is cynical, greedy, self-confident, loves Putin1 and so on.

02. Everyone is a little crazy

In psychology, this is called subjective value, irrational choice.

It is very easy to understand the actions of others. People do what suits them. They prefer to sell at a higher price and buy at a lower price. The one who pays calls the tune. Fortunately (or unfortunately) this model rarely works. But real people very often act absolutely irrationally, doing what, in theory, is unprofitable for them. This applies to commerce, politics, and personal relationships. Psychologist Daniel Kahneman described in detail the irrationality of consumers, for which he received the Nobel Prize in Economics.

How it works

The value of the decision made is not calculated in rubles and dollars. People make choices based on many factors: emotional background, comparison with others, their own experience, cultural norms, and much more.

03. Bad situations are more common than bad people

This is called fundamental error of causal attribution... The furious name once again shows that psychology is still a science, and not idle talk about the meaning of life. Translated into human language, "causal attribution" is about how we explain the reasons for the actions of others or ourselves. It is fundamental because it occurs very often, and a mistake is a mistake.

Examples of

Imagine that there are two unfamiliar men in front of you. One sternly says: "Everything should be done as I said." The other nods resignedly. What can we suggest? The first, most likely, is an authoritarian person, likes to command, seeks to control everything, has a decisive character. The second one is probably cowardly, has low self-esteem, and is inclined to obey. Right? But the behavior of these two may not be associated with their character at all, but with a specific situation. The simplest: one boss and the other subordinate. Moreover, the boss is actually a soft and indecisive person, just today he was asked to be stricter. Or maybe he is not a boss at all, but simply responsible for the project. The one who obediently nods, it is likely that in a different situation he will turn out to be a tyrant and despot, he is just late for work, feels his guilt and therefore does not mind. In addition, we cannot rule out that yesterday he mixed cognac with dry wine or beer, and now he has such a severe hangover that he can only nod.

And even knowing that such behavior is imposed on a person from the outside, we continue to suspect that it is not a matter of the situation, but of character. A classic experiment on this topic was carried out by psychologists Edward Jones and Victor Harris back in the late sixties. A group of students had to give a speech about Fidel Castro. One by lot was given the task of praising him, others scolding. There was no connection with real political predilections. Another group listened to these speeches and had to assess how the person really relates to the Cuban leader. And although the observers knew how the roles were distributed, they were still inclined to believe that the people who happened to defend Fidel, in reality, also sympathize with him, and vice versa.

This experiment has been repeated many times by social psychologists in many different forms. And the result was always the same: evaluating the reasons for the actions of others, people tend to exaggerate the role of personality traits and downplay the impact of the social situation... A person who has taken up arms is aggressive and cruel, and donating money to orphans is kind and sympathetic. For the majority, this is true and they cannot even admit that their opinion can be subjective.

Even scientists themselves are not immune from this mistake. Social psychologist David Myers confesses in his book: “I once had the opportunity to help an interviewer who was screening faculty members. We interviewed one applicant of six, and each of us had the opportunity to ask him two or three questions. I left thinking: "What a tight, clumsy person he is." With the second candidate, we met face to face over a cup of coffee, and immediately it turned out that we have a mutual close friend. Our conversation went on, I was more and more delighted with what she was “a warm, charming and disposing person”.

How does it work

One hypothesis explaining the fundamental attribution error is that it's all about shape and background. The most noticeable thing for us is behavior. What circumstances are behind these or those actions is not very clear from the outside. It is quite another matter when it comes to us. Now, if we ourselves are shouting at someone, then this is not at all because of our hysteria, but because we got sick. And if at someone's birthday we are sitting in a corner, avoiding general fun, then this is not from shyness or strong introversion, but from fatigue after a working day, and the company has come up uninteresting.

04. Good people never get into trouble

In psychology, this is called the illusion of a just world.

For example. A girl walked through the park at night, a scumbag attacked her and raped her. Of course, we feel sorry for the victim, but at the same time, thoughts slip through: "Why did she trudge through the park at night?", "There was nothing to walk in a short skirt!"

It's the same with any other victims. Homeless on the street? Probably drank the apartment. Beaten up by hooligans? Probably provoked them somehow. Is the country at war? And there was nothing to make a mess and support dubious politicians.

I would like to quote Sergey Dovlatov:“When they took away the choirmaster Lyalin, who lived below the floor, my father recalled that Lyalin was an anti-Semite. When the philologist Roginsky was arrested, it turned out that Roginsky had been drinking. Entertainer Zatsepin treated women tactlessly. Make-up artist Sidelnikov generally preferred men. And the screenwriter Shapiro, being a Jew, behaved with incredible aplomb ... "

How does it work

There is a lot of pain and tragedy around. It's incredibly hard to go through all this, you can go crazy or at least go into a binge. To abstract from this - you will become an insensitive cynic. All that remains is to reassure yourself that the victims have partly deserved their fate.

A heroic beginning can still awaken in a person. Like, if there is injustice in the world, then I must fight it. But all the same it will not be possible to cope with all the abomination. And since I cannot immediately engage in a fight with the dragon devouring innocent girls, then these girls are not so innocent.

05. "I knew it!"

In psychology, this is called hindsight error, hindsight effect.

This is the question of amateur political scientists. You are very lucky if you have ever met a person who confessed: "I assumed that the situation would develop this way and that, but in reality it turned out differently." It usually happens the other way around. Polls and experiments show that almost everyone correctly predicted the outcome of a presidential election or the outcome of a football match. Only this accurate prediction was made after the event happened.

How does it work

The simplest explanation: a person is simply lying, claiming that his prophecy was accurate. Indeed, in this way, you can easily establish yourself as an expert in politics, economics and sports.

A more subtle mechanism is to adjust (consciously or not) what happened to the initial forecast. For example, if a party won 42% of the vote in an election, this can be assessed both as a crushing defeat (less than half) and as an impressive victory (the largest faction in parliament).

And a person can also implant in his memory the memory that he correctly predicted events, although in fact there was nothing of the kind. The false memory effect was perfectly demonstrated in her experiments by Elizabeth Loftus.

06. Left - left, right - right

Scientists call this effect group polarization.

Let me give you an example. Let's say a draft law banning public nose-picking was born in the backyard of the State Duma. The overwhelming majority of citizens did not even think about such a problem. But the topic begins to be discussed, since social networks open up an unprecedented scope for such discussions. Someone calmly remarks: they say, the ban on picking is not such a great tragedy, maybe it's for the better. He immediately receives hundreds of likes on the one hand and angry rebuffs on the other. Critics of the ban also begin with caution: “This decision may not be completely effective ...” But on the one hand, opponents are pressing, and on the other, supporters support. As a result, the discussion literally overnight turns into an irreconcilable war between “Down with the arbitrariness of the authorities! Give me freedom! " and “Nose picking threatens the country's security! Down with American agents! " Then it is already possible to form social movements, go out into the squares and beat the muzzles.

How does it work

The effect is a bit like Maxwell's demons. People-particles, charged in the same way, tend to gather in one part of space, people-particles with a different charge move to another. If a group unites to fight something, then it will encourage any statements against this something and condemn (at least morally) remarks that somehow justify this. As a result, the group will begin to shift towards an increasingly radical position. Nothing personal, pure physics.

07. A group instead of a brain

The effect is scientifically named group thinking, groupthink, Groupthink.

For example. "Do you want to destroy our unity ?!" - asks one of the group members. After that, it's scary to even think that you can disagree with a single point of view.

Social psychology textbooks cite the decisions that led to the defeat of Germany in the war, the Watergate scandal and the downfall of the Challenger as examples of "groupthink". Author of "The Public Animal" Elliot Aronson writes: “What did Hitler's 'inner circle', Nixon's 'palace guard' and the NASA administration have in common, apart from the obvious fact that all three teams made decisions that led to tragic results? They were all relatively close-knit groups, isolated from any other point of view».

How does it work

The need to maintain group cohesion sometimes seems to be more important than making the right decisions... Split and criticism can destroy unity, which means that they must be extinguished even in your own head. Probably, the importance of preserving the group came to us from primitive times, when it was a matter of survival.

08. It's all to blame ...

Named by scientists simple explanation effect.

I'll try to give an example. We know exactly why the October Revolution happened. There is only one reason - German agents of influence who wanted to undermine the defense power of Russia. However, there is another "one" reason: it was necessary to urgently carry out industrial modernization. Or else: it's all about the activity of the Sun ...

Very often, when explaining an event, we rely on one single factor, which is elevated to the absolute. You can use anything from geopolitical games to complex psychoanalytic theories. But in reality, not a single event - from revolution to divorce - occurs for only one reason, a complex of factors always acts.

How does it work

All the same cognitive economy. The fewer explanatory parameters we can use, the better our tired brains are.

09. Emotions versus statistics

Vivid Picture Effect, False Representative Effect.

Let me give you an example. It happened in one of the districts of the city N. The girl Masha was rolling on a swing, and suddenly her scarf caught on a tree. Masha began to choke, she wheezed, her face began to turn blue, she could no longer scream. If it were not for the woman Dusya who was passing by, the girl would have died. The tragedy was miraculously avoided. But the boy Petya, who fell from the roof of the garage and smashed his skull, could not be saved. And the girl Olya died in terrible agony, scalded with boiling water right in her apartment, her screams were heard even on the next street ... In 2013, 125 cases of child injuries were registered in the area of ​​city N (in 2000 - 531).

Now the question is: should we worry about accidents among children in this area? If you look at the numbers, you will find that over 13 years, child injuries have decreased by more than four times, and you can switch to other problems. But the tragic fates of Masha, Olya and Petit do not leave us indifferent. Sorry for them.

How does it work

We are emotional beings. And when we are told about a specific living story, we begin to turn on - sympathize, resent, grieve. In terms of rationality, the numbers can be much more convincing. But they are not alive, and it is much more difficult to include them in the emotional world of our assessment. Our sympathies, preferences, attitudes determine vivid particular examples; it is incredibly difficult to interrupt this emotional background with dry statistics or boring arguments of logic. And therefore - "Resign the head of the district!"

10. When a war happens inside the brain

Resolution of cognitive dissonance.

For example. You are firmly convinced that the President of South Concordia is a scoundrel, a crook and a protege of American imperialism. In addition, this bastard brutally suppresses freedom fighters from the partisan movement "Love and Reason." Suddenly you read the news that this president released all political prisoners and announced free elections, and the guerrillas blew up the children's hospital the next day.

One knowledge came into conflict with another. The same cognitive dissonance that Leon Festinger discovered a long time ago has happened. How to be? There are many options: declare the source of information unreliable, recognize the president's actions as a cynical maneuver, find a message that the hospital was actually not children, but government soldiers, and it was not partisans who blew it up, but disguised intelligence agents.

How does it work

Our consciousness strives for consistency. It is easier for us to have a single model of the world with a clear division into good and bad. It is easier to admit a lie than to put up with a complex and contradictory picture.

Each of us, deliberately or without realizing it, often compares himself with others and as a result develops a fairly stable opinion about his intellect, appearance, health, position in society, that is, forms a "set of self-assessments" on which depends: modest we are either arrogant, demanding of ourselves or complacent, shy.

Self-respect is one of the sources of psychological stability and good mood. Let's say a person made a mistake, did something wrong. If this person has a sufficiently high level of self-esteem, he can reassure himself: “It's okay, because on the whole I'm not a fool and this is not typical for me,” that is, psychological protection is triggered, and the person calms down.

For most people, self-esteem is often overestimated or underestimated, and sometimes even extreme (the kindest, most shy, most honest). A person with hysterical manifestations expresses such judgments: "I am much smarter, more beautiful, kinder than most people, but I am the most unhappy and sickest." What communication difficulties do people with high self-esteem have? A person who considers himself much smarter than others, and even more deliberately emphasizes this, inevitably irritates others. This is natural - after all, the thought “you see how smart I am” implies a dismissive attitude towards others. And who likes to be considered stupid by someone?

Inadequate conceit, emphasizing one's own merits, arrogance, disregard for others - an inexhaustible source of negativism of others. Often you have to communicate with people who, due to inadequately high self-esteem, are jealous and envious of the success of their colleagues. "The worst and most vicious kind of envy: envy of mental superiority", - argued G. Fielding. When someone's abilities and successes are accompanied by an ostentatious protrusion of these achievements, they provoke envy and negative attitudes from others. Inflated self-esteem also contributes to such a character trait as excessive sensitivity. Resentment is usually a feeling that occurs in response to an unfair attitude from others. But what does “unfair” mean to a person? And the fact that someone's opinion about him is lower than his own opinion about himself. Hence, it is clear that overestimated self-esteem contributes to touchiness, intolerance to the slightest remarks (however, there is another extreme: from the height of his “I” even serious criticism is not taken to heart). A person with inadequately high self-esteem is potentially conflicted in situations when it comes to rewards and incentives for work. The discrepancy between the expected and real rewards naturally results in resentment and envy, which accumulate and, finally, break through with a sharp accusation against someone.

A person's self-esteem can be adequate (a person correctly, objectively evaluates himself), or inadequately overestimated or inadequately underestimated.

And this, in turn, will affect the level of personality aspirations, which characterizes the degree of difficulty of those goals that a person strives for and the achievement of which seems attractive and possible to a person.

The level of aspirations is the level of difficulty of the task that a person undertakes to achieve, knowing the level of his previous performance.