Home Vegetable garden on the windowsill The husband wants to go for a walk. The husband does not want to walk with the child, what can I tell him? Boring sexual relationships or lack of them

The husband wants to go for a walk. The husband does not want to walk with the child, what can I tell him? Boring sexual relationships or lack of them

Friends, hello everyone! I would like to continue the theme of walks a little. We said that sometimes children throw tantrums, so they don't like strollers or dressing. And what our husbands may not like, that sometimes they rebel and do not want to go for a walk with the child or with their wives. Let's talk about the reasons, and, of course, about solving the problem, if the husband does not want to walk.

This, of course, is the ultimate dream when you and your husband and a stroller walk in the park. This is how every woman imagines herself when she wants a child. But then another picture appears. Of course, not always. Men are different and how he will behave can be checked only when the child appears.

I want to start by saying that it is not a disaster if you have a husband with you who does not want to walk with a stroller. Of course, on the playground or from your friends, you can hear: "How is it that he does not walk with you, does not help you?" And if you are embarrassed by such remarks, then you can answer that you gave him such a gift, gave him time to take a break from work and worries. If a worm has crept into you, which haunts you, or you are really tired and would like your husband to take time out for walks with your child, then I will try to help you.

Reasons for the refusal of the husband

You know, this is probably the role of women that they all need to understand: a child who is capricious, a spouse who is stubborn. So let's find out what stands between a man and a joint outdoor family vacation.

So, let's think about what prevents our loved ones from getting as much satisfaction and joy from walking as we do:

  1. The spouse gets tired at work, providing us financially, and then something else needs to be done at home. In this case, even a walk with wife they count for work.
  2. Have you ever thought that if you leave daddy alone with the little one, then the strong head of the family will simply be confused, having met face to face with tears or with the little pranks?
  3. And yet, I noticed that most men are stubborn couch potatoes, who, not only in cold weather, but also in sunny weather, cannot be pushed out of a cozy apartment.
  4. Some heads of families have a clear distinction between men's and women's work, which prevents their "desire" to help their wife and play in the fresh air with the baby.
  5. Surprisingly, among the strong half of humanity, there are more often shy and shy people than among the weak half. When they meet someone they know on the street, they immediately start to worry about their own reputation.
  6. It's a rather boring activity in the modern world - walking with a stroller. You can often find a bored man with a stroller and a bottle of beer. This is the only thing that somehow motivated the man to take such a walk. To be honest, I do not like this idea, since the child's brains write everything and dad with a bottle in his hand will be recorded. And a man can be understood too. It’s interesting to fight with your son or play football, but walking with a stroller is really boring.

So women are arranged that they can do boring work, but a man cannot. Even notice how the man behaves in his career. If he is not interested, then he immediately quits his job, often not finding a new one and not thinking about the consequences. Women mainly make a financial cushion, look for another job, get a job, and only then leave the old one.

So, our female nature is ready to understand everything. Of course, if you no longer have the strength, you are exhausted, then you can ask a man, only without tears, accusations and tantrums! And then tell him how well you rested and how you love him, so that he feels return, gratitude. Everyone is pleased when you give a gift to see a smile on your face in return.

Finding a peaceful way to keep us and men happy

Peace in the family is probably the most valuable and fragile state in the whole world. Therefore, let's take care of it with all our might!

We have already revealed some of the most obvious reasons for male homebody. Of course, this is not all. Therefore, you should first talk to your beloved in order to find out his point of view, and after everything has been clarified, you can act purposefully, not forgetting that the world is the most precious thing!

Let's nevertheless analyze our possible actions as a response to the 5 above-mentioned motives for the behavior of our spouses:

  1. The spouse works, thinking that this is enough. Slowly and gently show him that the child, like you, needs more than money. You are pleased with his presence, his praise, gentle glances, joint relaxation. If you say all this in stages, showing step by step how happy you are from your spouse's attention, perhaps you will reach out to the heart or consciousness of your man.
  2. If the father is afraid that he will not cope with his little one, this is already our mistake! It is necessary to gradually teach daddy to the tears and whims of the baby. Or rather, from the very birth of the crumbs. Therefore, you should not take everything on your shoulders. Both at night and during the day, both parents should be able to calm down and settle conflicts between the child and the outside world. If you're late, it's never too late to start. Only such a burden should be placed on a spouse gradually and carefully, starting with trivial situations.
  3. Do you know what is the "cure" for homebody? Caress and care. Create conditions so that a big strong person is comfortable at home and comfortable on the street. For example, get comfortable, pretty, and stylish walking clothes together. Come up with a program that will make your spouse want to go out. If there is a cafe along the way, tell me where he can sit comfortably with a cup of aromatic coffee. Or buy bicycles for walking. Or a subscription to a fitness club, where you can swim in the pool with children. Create a picture that will "pull" your spouse to such a feat as to leave the house with a pregnant wife or baby.
  4. This point is the most serious. After all, your task is not only to lead a person out of the rules of life that are pleasant for him, but also to show that thanks to such a pastime, the baby's connection with his father is being established. It is joint activities that are the basis for future friendship and openness between a parent and his child. It will be very unpleasant for him when the father later discovers that the baby is drawn to the mother, and not to him. And this is so often the case, because a woman is able to give herself without spectators and motivation. Therefore, children are usually more attached to the mother. By the way, you can console yourself with this. All your time and energy spent will be rewarded with calls, conversations, help from already grown-up children. Which parent do you call most often? And why?
  5. The fear of losing the reputation of being such a macho is especially oppressive for our dear husbands. How interesting it is, considering that they will not think badly of him, they will not attribute sub-fever or weakness of character. On the contrary, he will be respected. And our task is to show him by example or to explain in words.

I hope that you and your husbands will enjoy the joint vacation, and you will have an interesting and fun time together! I am glad to be of service, and I hope you will come to visit me again to read a new article. The topics are always different and always relevant. Therefore, subscribe not to miss anything! I am always glad to you and your friends! Invite them actively to participate in our conversations.

Until next time! Bye!

Cheating on one of the spouses is a problem faced by a large number of families. She often becomes the last straw that leads to a split in the family. According to statistics, 40% of families where the husband walks, file an application for divorce, and this is a large number. Therefore, it is better not to lead to treason. And the answer to the question “why do husbands walk?”, Is it so inevitable or there are objective and subjective reasons for this behavior of husbands, will help prevent the beloved from starting to walk. After all, the opinion that all men always cheat is another myth that is far from reality.

The opinion of psychologists

Any betrayal is an escape from dissatisfaction. It may not necessarily be sexual, but also moral. Silence of problems, escape from a showdown, constant quarrels, only temporarily postpone the solution of a painful issue. The problem itself does not disappear. And if the husband does not find relief for his dissatisfaction in the family, does not give her a way out, he is forced to "run away" from the problem to another person. There he receives the necessary relaxation, forming an "outlet" that allows him to alleviate the oppressive situation.

That is why you should not look for the reason that the husband is walking, only in the actions of one side - the unfaithful husband or his wife, who did not notice during the "torment" of the other half. Both spouses are often to blame for the betrayal, who have not learned to solve family problems together, and this is the main meaning of marriage! To prevent this and achieve marital happiness, it is worth teaching yourself and your husband to do the following:

  1. In no case be silent about what bothers you. If you feel dissatisfied or uncomfortable, tell your significant other.
  2. Do not think that your husband should notice your discomfort himself - this will only prolong your stay in a depressing environment, intensify it and lead to inevitable conflict. The spouse may sincerely not be aware of your inconvenience, and the fact that you yourself tell him about it will in no way diminish the joy of getting rid of an unpleasant situation.

  • The conversation should not turn into personal insults. The tone should be benevolent. That is why, if at the moment you are experiencing anger, it is better to wait until it subsides, after which you can talk about what is bothering you.
  • Both spouses should perceive each other's words, mutual wishes and claims. You cannot close, transfer the conversation, accept the claim as a personal insult, rejection or dislike. Listen and try to understand why the change in your behavior is so important for the loved one - it will make you even more loved and meaningful for the other half.

  • When expressing a problem, argue for it, do not demand unquestioning implementation. Show that she is really serious about you and explain why. If a complaint is made to you, but you cannot change the nature of your actions even after arguing, try to state the counterarguments. When it doesn't work to convince your partner, create a new algorithm of action suitable for both, solving the problem.
  • Train yourself to feel each other, empathize, tell everything that worries you, worries and makes you happy - this is trust. Without it, marriage cannot be successful.

Adhere to simple rules and recommendations, firmly fix them in family life - the emotional bond between you and your husband will be inextricable. No woman in the world can interfere with such a strong relationship and replace you. There will be no dissatisfaction and depressing factors, you will learn to solve any difficulties within the family, which are the reason that the spouses start to walk. After all, men and women cheat from discomfort and dissatisfaction, moral or physical, if it is not - there is no betrayal.

Why do your men walk

There is an opinion that men are polygamous by nature, and cheating on a woman they love is just a matter of time. But their "polygamy" is explained not so much by the desire to possess many women as by the lack of strong emotions, self-doubt, and the search for an ideal and sexually compatible partner. All this can be relevant for a man and after he enters into marriage, life together is new conditions for the development of a couple, and any changes violate the previously established balance of relations. There are common reasons that can lead to her husband's infidelity and explain it.

Loss of interest in wife

The beloved girl, with whom the man decided to create his family, evokes strong positive emotions. However, after marriage, living in the same territory, getting closeness in unlimited quantities, constantly seeing each other, in a less attractive form than before, emotions lose their sharpness, love begins to manifest itself differently.

If there is still no mutual understanding or sensual connection between the spouses, the husband loses interest in his wife, she ceases to be the subject of relationships, he does not feel the presence of a woman near him, and therefore may try to find her outside the home.

Boring sexual relationships or lack of them

Household difficulties, fatigue, the constant presence of a child, resentment, loss by spouses of their former gloss, severity of emotions, inattentive attitude - often lead to uniformity in sexual life. Spouses stop burning with passion, experiment in sexual life, delight, surprise each other in bed, sex ceases to be an achievement, but turns into duty and routine. But strong emotions are a need for every person, marriage is an attempt to constantly feel them. When such emotions stop arising between spouses, the husband / wife may look for them on the side.

Material problems

Material difficulties can push the husband to cheat and explain why he walks. There are two factors at play here:

  • material difficulties as a cause of quarrels and conflicts within the family;
  • material difficulties as the reason for finding a partner who can solve them.

If everything is clear with the first option - the husband is looking for peace of mind in other respects, then the second is climbing the career ladder through sexual intimacy or the search for a wealthy patroness.

Another woman appeared

The reason that the husband walks for a long time may indicate a man's love for another woman. Habits, interests, facial features, gestures, tolerance for the spouse's weaknesses and other elements of the behavior of the new passion may be better combined with the characteristics of the husband's character. Fresh relationships are always more tolerant, filled with trust, mutual understanding than the relationships of people who have been married for a long time, because the husband and lover are still little acquainted. For a man, this is always a way to start building relationships from scratch without the burden of negative impressions.

Coincidence

A holiday romance, extreme situations, a reciprocal feeling of a person who has long caused admiration, alcohol intoxication, a serious quarrel with his wife, a feeling of uselessness - cause a surge of strong emotions that distorts the normal course of a person's thoughts, which can push the husband to cheat. That is why such connections rarely develop into serious relationships, they occur at the behest of a momentary impulse, when a person does not have enough strength to cope with the temptation.

“The husband walks, but does not leave” is consonant and similar to the expression “the sun shines, but does not warm”. Indeed, with a walking, but beloved husband, the bed is cold with him. How painful it is to experience betrayal of a spouse - only that woman knows who firsthand experienced these bitter feelings. Or maybe it's not so suicidal? Maybe something can be changed? Or is it easier to “put on blinkers over your eyes”? Let's figure it out if the problem is close to you.

Indeed, haven't you invented a myth for yourself? There are 4 times when your hassle happened out of the blue, if:

    You are too jealous. Even your husband's smile towards another woman is perceived as an attempt to "go left." At night, you yourself draw in your fantasies scenarios of his non-existent betrayals, and in the morning, while he takes a shower, you frantically rummage in his pockets and phone, thinking that he is well encrypted.

    "The magpie on the tail brought it": an envious friend or an acquaintance gossip. Like, I saw your "unfaithful" now with one in a cafe, then with the other in the car. Your spouse just blinks in amazement at all the demands for a sincere confession, and you take it for his feverish attempt to come up with an excuse.

    You still can't forgive his only accidental old sin, so you screw yourself up. Indeed, a person who has stumbled is often distrusted for a long time, even if he has become correct. You cheat, he suffers, everyone is bad.

    His myth. A rare case, but it does happen - he comes up with his own spree. You do not pay attention to him, and he does not know how to knock him out of you. And it seems like you specifically didn't catch him with anyone, but some late arrivals, a thoughtful look, a light drink from work - all this is not characteristic of his behavior, you notice it. He doesn't walk - he wants you to at least show an attempt at jealousy.

In this case, there is no reason to worry. Do not flirt with jealousy, do not listen to chatter, be able to let go of the past and pay more attention to your husband. Otherwise, having played with fire, he will not stay at home, or maybe this will happen, as in the article -.

What a reveler he is

If your suspicion of his infidelity is not groundless, and you have repeatedly caught him "hot", then you still need to know what kind of walker he is to the left. It is clear that any betrayal is disgusting, but if you still live with him, and he is not going to leave, then you are looking for an excuse for him and yourself. So, what types of cheaters are:

"Harmless too"

Here I immediately want to recall a quatrain from a famous fairy tale:

You, a friend of those husbands,
What is more harmless than snakes
They bite, not bite
Do not say worse

L. Filatov "About Fedot Sagittarius"

Indeed, there is this type of man: even next to his wife, sitting at a party, he does not miss a single skirt. Every now and then he tries to unceremoniously pinch other women for their soft places or whispers something sexually in the ear, or tries to retire with the girl.

But by and large, this behavior does not become a fact of treason. It's just that he is such a master of flirting, causing all the female attention to himself, even if it is unpleasant for his wife.

"Virtually in love"

This type is macho on the internet. Being married, he lights up on all dating sites. All single ladies on the other ends of the monitors fall in love with him. No, he is not a swindler, although he is fluent in the skill of a beautiful word. His pride is amused by the fact that many women go crazy with him, insist on meeting and are ready for anything for him.

Usually such "macho" are deprived of the attention and affection of their own wife. He almost openly virtually flirts on his laptop or phone, not fearing that he might be caught off guard. Unfortunately, such disregard on the part of the wife can turn into a real betrayal of the husband with one of his admirers. Will the spouse herself notice his real frequent disappearances from the house?




"Lamb among the wolves"

Yes, unfortunately, there are guys who fall for the persuasion of friends. So, the crowd calls for women - and he seems to be not a miss. And it doesn't matter that the crowd is single, they don't care, but the "lamb" is married. And it seems like in the depths of his soul he himself opposes the general trend, and would not be going to change, but he does not want to appear as a "sucker" in front of his friends.

There is such an experiment in psychologists, when a group of people gathers, including one subject. Everyone is given a sweet dessert, one of them is poured a lot of salt into dessert instead of sugar. Everyone is asked in turn how they liked the treat. Everyone says: "Sweet!", And the subject, too, "Sweet!" He is the wingman of the crowd, so the "lamb" among the "wolves" is the same.

"Motor in Pants"

This is the type who cheats recklessly, and he is madly in love with his wife, and does not leave the family. To change women like gloves is in his spirit, he does not fall in love seriously, but simply counts his victories. Dodgy, finds loopholes so as not to be noticed. But if the wife still catches him, he is ready either to shower her with flowers and gold in order to repent, or to make the wife still remain guilty of his sins.

"I gave my soul to another"

Here is the sadness - when a man on the side leaves his soul to another, and cannot leave his wife. Like a bewitchment here and there. Everyone is tormented, but someone does not want to let go of what is. This is not just cheating, this is the collapse of love and the most difficult case.




And now specifically - if we take for all these cases, we can draw the following conclusions:

    “Harmless already” - the husband will not leave the family for the simple reason that he does not at all see signs of treason in his behavior. Here he is. And it is unlikely, when meeting his future wife, he did not show his quirks. Yes, and the wife herself, if she lives with him, she is probably used to such harmless, albeit unpleasant weaknesses of her man. And in the ladies who are "led" to his flirtation, he sees only a fool.

    In the second case, when the spouse is spinning virtual novels, then it makes no sense for him to leave. And why - he runs home from work, there he will be fed, put at the computer, given free time to talk to his heart's content, and then you can get natural sex. Unless, of course, the wife refuses. By and large, and in this case, it is not a disaster - sex can also be obtained virtually.

    If we consider the husband - "lamb", then most often such a person is afraid of himself - he is completely dependent on the opinions of others. Cheering in front of his friends, they say: "Yes, I fist on the table, my wife is on the line," he still hopes for the tacit support of friends - so that no gu-gu is anyone. And already at home, returning to his family, he justifies himself: "Yes, we only had a barbecue with beer, sat with friends, talked about life." Of course, he is not going to leave - his family is dearer to him.

    If a husband is constantly cheating with different ladies, and for him treason, only victories, then, oddly enough, he sincerely loves his family, wife, children. Another thing is why the wife does not go away from this, even after hundreds of his revealed infidelities. She kicks him out, but even after a while he returns with a guilty head. This man is scared to lose his family, but he cannot give up his "hobby" either. Like a smoker - pulls to smoke, smoked and threw out another cigarette butt. And the fact that it is harmful - yes to hell with him.

    The most difficult is the fifth case. As in the film "Autumn Marathon" - between a family and a mistress. They are constantly on two scales. He is drawn to his mistress by a terrible force, but habit, duty, pity for his wife do not allow a man to leave. Sometimes he is even sure - that's it, I'll pack my things and leave, but my heart will ache, looking at the children and my spouse, and the fear that everything in life will have to radically change does not allow him to do it. So he will go to his mistress and lie, they say, the wife is sick, children need to be raised, and then maybe. Although it is unlikely that a man will ever decide on this.




Fragment from the film "Autumn Marathon"

arrow_left Fragment from the film "Autumn Marathon"

Advice from a psychologist: if you didn’t catch it, don’t come up with it. I heard the gossip - don't believe it. Indicate the place where your man is cheating - do not check. I saw it by chance and he sincerely repented - forgive me for the first time. I caught it 100 times, but forgiven the second time - be patient. He is in love with another and cannot leave, no longer loving you, but regretting - let go. And if you don't let go - suffer until he himself destroys the relationship with his mistress. And he destroyed it and returned - forget this incident forever, as if it never happened.

No tantrums, pleas for yourself and children will not help keep a man if he is determined to leave. Even if he stayed, pitying, then life will not be the same as when it was built, loved, born - there will be an ice wall. Initially, having sensed a serious rival and alienation of your husband, change yourself for the best. And it has become disgusting to live with him - so what's stopping you? Thousands of women divorce hateful husbands, raise children themselves and start a new family.

Letting go - free yourself. Change everything drastically. There are no his things, no smell, no voice (even though he, thank God, is alive) - it means that life is just beginning ahead.




Finally - an unusual technique

Let's do a thought experiment.

Imagine that you have the super ability to "read" men. Like Sherlock Holmes: she looked at a man - and immediately you know everything about him and understand what is on his mind. You would hardly be reading this article right now in search of a solution to your problem - you would not have any relationship problems at all.

And who said that this is impossible? Of course, you will not read other people's thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.

If you're interested, you can. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 places specifically for visitors to our site.

How to react if your chosen one does not miss a single skirt? Or a husband, so close and familiar, who is an integral part of the home environment, suddenly began to look at others, or even worse, cheat on you? Tracy Cabot, a world famous American psychologist, author of five best-selling books and owner of the largest dating agency in the United States, gives some fundamental advice to women who have felt the weight of cheating and want to save their marriage or.

So, Tracy Cabot claims that every man is more or less a womanizer. But vigilant surveillance, control and constant reproaches will not help if the husband is walking. Your goal is to prevent this. The best parenting method is to take into account your man's fantasies, preferences, physiology, and temptations.

The reaction to betrayal is difficult to predict and even more so to control. Basically, this is either a violent reaction or a complete rejection, but you need to find a middle ground. All aspects of marriage collapse, but trust suffers the most, and without trust there is no relationship. Unable to forgive her husband for betrayal, many women break the last thread that tied their family, and the matter ends. After a while, they bitterly regret their deed.

The peculiarities of our society, both in the past and now, are such that a divorced woman loses weight, and a man who has survived a divorce remains in his “weight category”. Therefore, it is the realization that the responsibility for a strong and strong woman rests on women's shoulders that will help you preserve your marriage. If the husband is out walking, there will be a huge number of single ladies who are ready to support and console the “lonely” spouse at any time. But you can build your relationship in such a way that this temptation will bypass your faithful side. He just should feel that you are the one who, like no one else, is able to understand him for real.

How to behave if the husband walks?

Do not keep everything to yourself, it is better to inform your husband that the current situation worries you and your marriage is under threat. Do not choose an attack strategy and do not show your disbelief. Just say that you continue to trust him as before, but that the abundance of girls who lead, worries you greatly. Explain to your husband that it will be much easier for you to know where he is and when. You shouldn't count on a detailed count, but you still need to try. Be decisive in your demands.

In the conversation, emphasize that if your spouse refuses to fulfill your request, then you will have a reason to suspect him of treason, and be sure to add that your feelings remain the same strong, and you will defend your marriage to the last. If, after these words, the reveler-husband begins to initiate you into what he does, when and with whom, consider that this round is yours.

Confessions of sins that follow the conversation mean that the battle is half won. But if in response you hear violent discontent and the phrase: “I am not satisfied with a marriage in which I have to count for every step,” then the husband is really walking and you need to choose the right model of behavior.

- No matter how hard it was for you, do not be depressed in the presence of your husband. More often than not, the offended look is only annoying.

- Do not put a stigma on all aspects of your life: despite the fact that something is wrong in your personal life, your work, children, home remain with you. Write a list of what you have and what brings positive emotions, and always keep it close.

- Don't blame yourself. The fact that the husband is walking is to blame for the new object of his interest, which, for sure, is worse than you. Remember that accumulated anger and negative emotions are the main causes of depression, and you don't need it at all.

- Don't let your husband go to a rival, or take things and order a move. Don't let him carry away even such a trifle as a toothbrush.

- Fight selflessly. You have more advantages than him.

- If your husband walks, then he is bored with the monotony of your family life. Become unexpected and unpredictable. Let the spouse understand that he has not completely figured out you yet, and his wife, it turns out, is a person of whom he had a superficial idea. Be brave.

- Memories from a happy past make the subconscious work. Unobtrusively use photography, music, smells, food that is associated with the pleasant moments of your married life. Such subconscious attachments should work on your husband. At the same time, you remain cold and indifferent.

“That’s what you shouldn’t do in your situation — repeat your husband’s behavior.” Say, if he can, then me too. This will not lead to anything good, but will only aggravate an already precarious situation.

Hello! We have lived with my husband for 7 years, we are raising two children: mine from my first marriage and a joint 4 years old. Six months ago, I found a love note with him, asked for an explanation, and after a couple of days we talked. It turned out that there is another woman whom he loves, and it makes no sense to keep the family (but at the same time he did not leave). It was a shock for me. After spending the night in thought, I came to the conclusion that he needed to leave. I told him he packed his things (I helped) and left. The next day my husband came running to my work to talk about the fact that I am the best and I know that. A day later, he went to his parents in another city. He called every day and a week later said that he had thought it over, wanted a family and was bored. We made up, but he lived with his parents, since work had already appeared there. I went to see him or he came for a couple of days. Everything was passionate and loving! When I noticed changes in him (he became wilted), I brought him into conversation, said, I miss her, I'm sorry, I'm leaving. After spending two days with her, he again went to his parents, and then even further - to another country. History repeated itself. For three months he was absent (we called, corresponded), returned home. I love you, you are mine, I won't go away anymore! I figured out myself, I realized that I only need you! It was enough for a month - again melancholy. We talked and said we had to leave. Despite all this, the sex between us did not stop, even after the conversation and the words to part! Can you please tell me what to do? Let go or fight? I love him so much!

Irina, Kharkov, 31 years old

Family psychologist's answer:

Hello Irina.

Letting go or fighting is more your decision. But once again to look at this situation from the outside is never superfluous. So, the husband walks like a pendulum from you to another woman and cannot decide in any way. Such cases are not uncommon. Moreover, after the wife found out everything, the man no longer forbids himself to walk openly back and forth. Perhaps he is really confused and cannot understand in any way what he wants more. What should you do? It all depends on what you most want. After all, if in a couple the husband does not know anything or does not want to know about his desires, then all the hope is for the wife. If she knows exactly what she wants, then maybe this will somehow discipline her husband and pull her towards her decision. Your understanding of your desires does not mean at all brutal conditions for your husband in an attempt to put him in his place or in an attempt to put him in front of a very tough choice. Simply, if you begin to more openly either pull him to yourself, or get rid of him, then, perhaps, his desires will become more obvious. I'll try to explain what I mean. If your husband still wants to save the family, then, both when pulling up and pushing off, he will become more active. That is, it will become more noticeable that he would like to stay in the family. But if he simply cannot make up his mind to leave the family and is holding on with his last strength, then both when pushing away and when pulling up, he will more openly want to run away or, at least, stay away from the family. And the more consistent and frank your actions are, the more frank your husband will be. I am writing this in case you also want to be marked in the sense: I want my husband to stay, then I don’t want to. Although this is also a position if you do not want to make any decisions yourself. After all, sooner or later some decision will be made. So the choice is yours.

Respectfully yours, Natalya Alexandrovna Panfilova.

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