Irina and Natalya are distant relatives. They were on good terms until they settled together in order to rent out the vacant apartment.

“We are second cousins, but we always communicated very closely,” recalls Ira. Neither I nor Natasha had siblings, so our parents tried their best to make us friends. So we grew up with her, one might say, together, we were taken to the sea and to the country at the same time, so that it would be more fun. Since childhood, I considered her not only a sister, but also my best friend.

Irina, who is four years older, always took care of the younger Natasha and took care of her as best she could. This relationship continued when the sisters grew up. Both got married. The housing problem in their families was solved in different ways. Ira's husband made good money and in the late 1990s he bought a big three-ruble note on the outskirts of Moscow - exclusively with his own money. And Natasha's husband was from the Moscow region and invited her to settle in his parents' apartment in Domodedovo.

The newlyweds were given a room in the "treshka". However, life with her father-in-law categorically did not suit Natasha, and her mother and father bought an inexpensive one-room apartment in a five-story building on Babushkinskaya for their only daughter. Housing was killed, but next to the metro, and most importantly - in the capital, which was most important for Natasha from Moscow. She arranged everything in the “odnushka” for a comfortable life, ordered built-in furniture according to the size of the small kitchen and hallway, changed the plumbing. After renovation, the apartment was like new.

Frame: the film "Cococo"

Adult married sisters continued to be friends, but the family life of both was not very successful. Her husband left Ira when their son grew up and went to study abroad. The husband left nobly - he rewrote the apartment for her and her son. “The former found himself a younger woman, paid off me with a three-ruble note,” says Ira. - I'm grateful for that too. My husband now has a new family, a small child. Started life all over again - well, good luck to him.

Natasha's divorce happened five years after the wedding. My husband and I turned out to be completely different and strangers. She is correct, pedantic, he is a lover of drinking, hanging out with friends, having fun. They parted calmly, because there was nothing to share: the husband simply took out his things. True, he was discharged from the apartment only after three years. “It was very unnerving for my sister,” says Ira. - He was deregistered only when he bought a house for himself, and before that he was registered with Natalia, it bothered her a lot. She was afraid that she would marry, give birth to someone, and he could register a child at the place of his registration. But, thank God, it passed.

It so happened that the sisters of Balzac's age each remained in their own apartment. Neither one nor the other was going to build a new serious relationship. The “correct” Natasha did not want to waste time, energy and emotions on anyone. Ira, after the house was empty, could not find a place for herself - loneliness was acutely felt. There would be extra money, one could travel, still somehow have fun. But there was not enough money, and both sisters: their salaries were average. Ira had an idea. One day she called her sister: “Natasha, move in with me! What should I do in a three-room one? We'll hand over your Odnushka, save money, and then travel around Paris.

At first, Natasha did not like the idea, but Ira persuaded her. Most importantly, she found tenants among her friends who agreed to rent an apartment for 40 thousand a month. Natasha packed and folded personal things that she did not take with her on the mezzanine. Furniture and appliances left reluctantly, it was a pity terribly. But the tenants - a young married couple - promised to take care of everything.

Frame: the film "Cococo"

“We settled down together. They threw off 15 thousand for food, we had enough, we are always on a diet, - says Irina. - For a communal apartment paid in half. Responsibilities were assigned: I cooked, Natasha maintained order in the apartment, she likes to clean up. Three months after the start of our lease, we went to Spain for the earned 120,000. I was proud of myself - I thought of everything coolly.

After a summer trip to Spain, relations between relatives began to deteriorate, they were too different. Ira was returning from work tired and collapsed on the sofa in front of the TV. I came to my senses for about forty minutes, or even an hour, then I went to the kitchen to have a bite and cook food for tomorrow. Natasha immediately after the return of the soap and put away the shoes, changed clothes and hung clothes in the closet. Things thrown by Irina anywhere irritated her.

The sisters had a serious fight after Ira's birthday. She invited her friends and some of her closest colleagues to visit. Everyone had fun, joked a lot, laughed, even danced. People terribly tired Natasha, she was the first to leave the table and barely waited for the guests to leave in her room. In the evening I cleaned the apartment and grumbled at Ira: “I should have taken my guests to the cafe, there are so many cleanings after them, and I have to work tomorrow.”

Maybe the sisters would have suffered in the same apartment for some more time, but Irina had a man, and this completely ruined the business project. After Oleg's first night in Irina's room, Natalia began to pack her things: "Enough, I'm tired, I'm evicting the tenants," she told her sister.

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“Oleg was only an excuse, in fact, after a month of living in the same apartment, we began to enrage each other. Still, two adult independent aunts cannot get along in a common living space, - says Ira. “And the wrong money we received for rent, to endure and adapt.”

As a result, Natasha said goodbye to the tenants - it’s good that she didn’t sign any documents with them, they agreed in words. She returned to her apartment. Naturally, she was very dissatisfied with her condition: although the tenants tried, they could not maintain such cleanliness as the hostess was used to. She cleaned everything up and put it in order. Ira expressed a bunch of complaints: “You came up with this nonsense, but they spoiled my whole apartment.”

The sisters rented housing for five months, received 200 thousand rubles for two, went on vacation once - and little was left of the amount. “Money was almost not earned, and relations were spoiled,” Ira worries. - Although Natalya is quick-witted, she will calm down - we will communicate again. But to live in one apartment - never again.

Two sisters can't get along

Asks: ol2018, Arkhangelsk

Gender Female

Age: 30

Chronic diseases: not specified

Hello, the situation is as follows: I am 30 years old, my elder sister is 32 years old. They lived together in a rented apartment, then in a hostel, while studying at the university. Circumstances have developed in such a way that even now we live in the same apartment. This apartment is owned by my older sister (pays a mortgage + significant assistance was provided by parents for a down payment and I lent part of the money to my sister from my savings (300 thousand is a very significant amount for me). I am currently saving up for a down payment, to get a mortgage, my parents will no longer be able to help me.The advantage is that, while living with my sister, I pay only half of the utility bills.It is worth noting that both are not married, no children.My sister never had relationships with the opposite sex.I had a relationship, but painful, undermined my mental and physical health.
It is very difficult for us to live in terms of maintaining a common life, disputes and disagreements constantly arise about who will cook, who does more household chores (cleaning, washing, ironing), about who spent how much money on buying products, detergents. The sister, returning from guests or from work, demonstratively shows her displeasure that there is nothing to eat, because I didn’t cook anything for her. A year ago, they cooked separately, but then they switched back to the "common pot", because the home-made products that the parents supply are common. He constantly makes sure that I wipe everything dry in the bathroom after taking a shower (although I do clean up after taking a shower every day, but not in the way my sister needs).
I got a second job, I leave at 8 am, I come home at 9 pm, but I find it difficult to maintain such a schedule, and my sister finds time to take me out anyway. It comes down to fights. I do not know how to get out of this terrible situation and end the conflict. I considered the option of renting a separate apartment, but in this case I would not see my own housing for a long time.

1 answer

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Hello!
You would have to share food and money, together you need to look for suitors.
Agree to cook and clean weekly. You can cook something very simple, for example, sandwiches, fry scrambled eggs, boil potatoes. You don't have to spend hours at the stove.
If you are at work almost all day, then if you come even later, your sister will generally sleep. If you have a goal to buy a home, endure the whims of your sister, try not to go into conflict. Take it easy on your problem and then the problem will cease to be such.
Good luck to you!

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Each a person creates a family with the hope that he will live with his spouse in love and harmony until the end of his days, raising his children together and sharing the joy of his grandchildren. But over the years of living together, for most married couples, love gradually fades away and the fact that their marriage has come to an end becomes clear. There are 8 signs that indicate that it is time for spouses to leave, rather than trying to maintain relationships that bring only pain and deprive both spouses of a chance for happiness. So, by what signs can you understand that your marriage has come to an end:

1. Lack of desire to please and surprise. If the spouse does not care how her wife looks, and she has no desire to please her husband with delicious dishes and make him happy, then this is the beginning of the end. Absolute indifference to what the spouse is doing is a characteristic sign of a lack of love. If you are late at work or go on a business trip for a long time, and your wife or husband does not call you or write SMS, then it's time to think about whether it is worth living with a person who does not need you. But jealousy and resentment should not be confused with the cooling of feelings. Think about whether you still want to please your spouse with an expensive gift? If your answer is yes, then you just need to talk heart to heart with your spouse.

2. No desire to communicate with spouse. Often a husband and wife come home, have a silent supper, and then go to different rooms, where each of them goes about his own business. Joint conversation and communication tires them. If you are just waiting for your spouse to leave home, and you can enjoy loneliness, and every conversation you have with him turns into a quarrel, then you can no longer expect a happy end to such a relationship. In this case, it is better to leave than to try to maintain a relationship, cause each other suffering and drag a "suitcase without a handle."

3. sleep separately. If a husband and wife sleep in different rooms, and they have sex just for show, then this is a sure sign of fading. Aloofness and reluctance to have sex with a partner suggests that the person is no longer close. A joint bed, touching during sleep and communication in the dark play an important role in family relationships, and those spouses who have caught a partner in treason or are very jealous of him sleep separately.

You should not test each other's patience, the lack of intimate relationships sooner or later leads to treason. If during sex expressions come to your mind: "nightmare", "dirt", "torment" and "why am I putting up with this?", then just let go of your partner and let him find his happiness. And yourself, start looking for new relationships that will bring you peace of mind and sexual satisfaction.

4. Do not want to spend leisure time together. Ask yourself if you would like your spouse to be present at the birthday of a friend or girlfriend where you were invited. If you think that he will only spoil your mood on a festive evening and that it is better for you to relax in the company of friends or girlfriends without him, then you are most likely to part with your spouse. In this case, it is worth saving the marriage only for the sake of the children, but even here you need to think about whether the child will benefit from living together in the same house of essentially strangers. If you are not in a hurry to go home after work and try to spend all your free time in the company of friends, then this is also a sign of an exhausted relationship.

5. You think you love two at once. All people are polygamous to some extent, everyone in their youth wants to please not only their partner, but also hear compliments and accept courtship from others. The desire to "try an apple from someone else's garden" is present in everyone up to 45-50 years old, although not everyone admits this and decides to cheat. But if it seems to you that you love two people at once, then you will have to part with your spouse. Because if he was really dear to you, then the second would simply not exist.

6. Greed towards wife. The first sign of the cooling of the husband's feelings is his unwillingness to spend on the needs of his wife. If he stopped buying you gifts and paying for you, then he no longer cares what you think of him. There is no need to build illusions that the husband began to earn less or became more economical. He simply decided for himself that you have become a stranger to him, and he should provide only for his relatives and friends.

7. You constantly compare your spouse to others. My friend is happily married, but her husband went bald early. I somehow tactlessly asked her if her attitude towards her husband had changed after he lost his hair, and with it his former beauty. A friend with a smile replied that she did not even notice that her husband was bald, he remained for her the most beloved and dear person, as he was before. If you began to believe that your spouse has changed a lot and is now unworthy of admiration, then do not torment him further and let him go. No need to constantly humiliate him and compare him with others, say that this other one is more educated, stronger, richer and cooler. A neighbor's is always better, but one's own is more expensive. If yours does not seem more beautiful, then this is a sign that your marriage has come to an end.

8. You are constantly humiliated. If a spouse constantly humiliates you, insults you with obscene words, or even raises his hand, then he no longer values ​​​​your attitude towards him. No matter how much we are told that we need to part with those to whom we no longer feel any feelings, unfortunately, many of us lack the determination to be the first to take this responsible step. An obstacle to this may be common children, the need to divide property, financial difficulties and habit.

We tolerate humiliation and try not to see that we have long ceased to be respected. Moreover, we unsuccessfully try to refresh feelings that have long been gone, we are anticipated by those who love us in order to save the family and not deprive children of their father or mother. Is it worth it? Maybe it’s better to immediately break off relations and leave, than in old age to regret that life has passed, but there was no happiness, and no?

Abby and Brittany Hensel are one of the most famous Siamese twins, especially in the US, where they even filmed reality shows with them. The 26-year-old sisters conquered the Americans by becoming the embodiment of the real confrontation between two different personalities, by the will of fate chained into one body. The Hensel sisters have one body and two heads, which is why they are called the Girl with Two Heads. But at the same time, their interests are completely different, so it’s not easy for them to get along in one body.

They have the same body, but different vital organs. Each of the sisters has its own heart, stomach, lungs, and even the spine and spinal cord. Each of them controls its half of the body and one arm and one leg. Because of this, it was hard for them to learn to crawl, walk, do something with their hands, because it had to be done in a coordinated and synchronous manner. They have different walks. Brittany often walks on tiptoes. The sisters' parents immediately refused to separate them, because the doctors did not promise a successful result.

In addition, the girls also have different heights. Abby is 157 centimeters, and her sister is ten centimeters shorter. The length of their legs is also different, and Brittany has to wear shoes with higher heels or walk on tiptoes so as not to limp.

“I can have a completely different temperature,” says Abby. “Often we feel that when we touch, our palms are at different temperatures.” Hobbies, characters and taste preferences also differ. For example, Brittany loves milk, but her sister can't stand it. As they eat soup, Brittany won't let her sister sprinkle crackers on half of her.

When sisters disagree about what they should do, they toss a coin, ask their parents for advice, or prioritize what they want to do. But now they are relatively easy to find a compromise, and in childhood, it happened that Abby and Brittany even fought.

When they turned 16, they allowed television people to make their first documentary about them, and then a reality show. Together they can walk, run, swim, drive a car and even ride a bike! They type on a computer. They just learned to cooperate and coordinate their actions. And where to go! To drive a car, each of the twins had to pass on the rights.

Abby and Brittany have completely different personalities. They even sew special clothes to emphasize the tastes of each. Abby loves math and Brittany loves literature. They graduated from the university in 2012. The sisters hope that they can find love and have children. The twins say they don't mind being together, but they get very annoyed when they are photographed on the street without permission.

Hensel love to play musical instruments, bowling and volleyball. When they go to the theatre, they buy two tickets. Since these are two different people, it happens that one is sick and the other is healthy. Brittany has had pneumonia twice already, but Abby has never. Sometimes sisters have a hard time coordinating their actions. One may want to eat or sleep, while the other does not. Now Brittany and Abby work as primary school teachers with a mathematical bias.

The strongest relationships are those in which both partners can be themselves. The desire to change the other person or adjust oneself in accordance with other people's ideals dooms couples to failure. When two people have too different beliefs or habits, it creates contradictions. Opposites can attract, but such a union does not always “survive”. The only recipe is to always remember to compromise.

● Even the smallest unresolved contradictions can create huge problems

Our partners are not our clones. If the core values ​​of two people are completely incompatible, communication will be almost impossible. Of course, not all values ​​need to match, but common ground is needed. Small disagreements can also lead to a “breakdown” in communication. In some cases, compromise becomes a very difficult task. In other cases, conflicts are based on a misunderstanding of the situation. Such problems immediately worsen the relationship, if they are not eliminated.

● Most people struggle with their differences incorrectly

They simply do not understand how to properly resolve conflict situations, and this only worsens the relationship.

Some people don't want to do anything at all

Some people think that if you have to compromise, then it's bad. But to demand changes from another partner is normal. As a result, this will lead to growing disappointment from unmet expectations.

Someone is more willing to compromise than their partner

When people start a relationship, they may make some sacrifices because they genuinely love the other person and want to be loved themselves. One person may try to minimize differences with a partner by giving up their own interests. There is some compromise in this, but from the fact that one partner gives in and gives more than the other, the relationship is not balanced. In the end, the giving person will be unhappy and mentally exhausted.

- Someone who sacrifices himself excessively

Compromising core values ​​and beliefs is another recipe for disappointment. You can give up small things in the name of love, but if your core values ​​are at stake, it can end badly. This happens when one person tries to radically change himself in order to meet the standards of another person. Alas, attempts to make a partner happy at the expense of their own happiness only worsen the relationship.

● Compromise is possible only when it makes you happier

There are no universal compromises, but successful compromises share some common characteristics.

- Discuss your expectations

Discuss expectations, boundaries, and ways you can support each other so that compromise doesn't feel like a personal attack. Contradictions can also be a win-win situation if you work through them together.

Both partners must make concessions

Both partners may have to adjust a little to each other. You need to create harmony together, and not force one person to give up everything. In addition, joint adjustments should not lead to major casualties.

- Keep in mind that core values ​​may remain different for you

You can respectfully disagree, but don't ask your partner to give up their beliefs for the sake of you and your relationship. These things are difficult to change because they are the core of any person. Partners can learn to respect and accept differences, but they have no right to force change.

● Let differences bring you closer, not further

It is almost impossible to find two people who are exactly the same. Your differences with your partner can make the relationship more fun and educational. You have the opportunity to look at things in a new way or try to understand a different worldview. Finding a common language is a natural part of bringing two different people together. We can say that this is a recognition of the uniqueness of each other. As long as both partners are ready for the negotiation process, their alliance will only grow stronger.