The news that Kim Kardashian's stepfather, 65-year-old Bruce Jenner, has changed sex recently, to put it mildly, surprised the world. In a week, his - or rather, already her (Jenner's new name is Caitlyn) - Twitter (@Caitlyn_Jenner) has collected almost three million subscribers. “I am a woman in every way,” declared former Olympic decathlon champion Bruce Jenner in an interview with Vanity Fair. Photographing the newly-made woman was done by Anna Leibovitz. The resulting image on the cover of the magazine is the embodiment of Hollywood glamor of the 1950s: the right make up, white satin bodysuit, seductive forms (Jenner was implanted with breasts of 4 sizes). The public was divided into two camps: the tolerant part welcomed Jenner's decision, the more conservative part clutched its head in horror.
People who felt a discrepancy between their biological sex and the so-called gender identity, however, have always existed: there are mentions of them in ancient Egypt (15th century BC). Large-scale studies of this phenomenon have not been conducted. Among the currently relevant hypotheses about the causes: a combination of hormonal factors in the phase of prenatal development, genetics and the influence of the social environment in early childhood. Be that as it may, it is precisely today that such people (not to be confused with transvestites - those who are turned on by dressing in clothes of the opposite sex, but nothing more) come out of the underground and are rapidly mastering the cultural and socio-political space. Examples - a lot. The famous actress and trans model Carla Antonelli, a former man, has been sitting in the Spanish regional parliament for several years. In the US, Pennsylvania's chief medical officer was recently appointed a transgender woman; the new personnel manager in the Obama administration was also a former male.
In the fashion industry, people with unclear gender identity have become trendsetters. The tone was set a few years ago by 23-year-old model of Serbian-Croatian origin Andrea (former Andrey) Pejic. The owner of an angelic androgynous appearance conquered the catwalks as a teenager, becoming one of the favorite models of Jean-Paul Gaultier and Marc Jacobs. Then she was with a male passport - having placed Pejic on the cover a couple of years ago, New York Magazine called him The Prettiest Boy in the World ("the prettiest boy in the world"). Last year, the mannequin grew breasts - Andrei underwent a sex change operation. He hasn't had any contracts since then.
Transgender aesthetics and collections with a predominance of sexless, dimensionless, but at the same time quite provocative things are now in the forefront of fashion. Long-haired models, whose gender is difficult to determine, have strutted at the recent shows of Raf Simons, Gucci, Heider Ackermann, Dries Van Noten. The face of the Redken advertising campaign was the muse of Riccardo Tisci (Givenchy) Lea T., a beautiful model of Brazilian-Italian origin, in the past Leandro Cerezo (it was she who kissed Kate Moss on the cover of Love magazine a couple of years ago, dedicated to androgynous fashion). Last year, fashion photography guru Bruce Weber shot a dramatic black and white campaign for Barneys featuring 17 transgender models.
It is possible that the concept of agender or genderless ("asexual") will eventually become the slogan of the current fashion decade. Brad Pitt and Jolie appeared at the BAFTA AWARDS 2014 in identical Saint Laurent tuxedos. Cara Delevingne, Kendall Jenner and even the feminine Irina Shayk periodically appear in the light in a male image. The latter appeared on the catwalk in Paris in a rough jumpsuit - at the show of the Givenchy men's collection spring-summer 2016. Selfridges department store in London opened an entire department called #Agender, and luxury online boutique Thecorner.com began selling the No Gender line. Rumor has it that the first transsexual will soon appear among the Victoria's Secret Angels. The 28-year-old American model, TV presenter and burlesque star Carmen Carrera has the most chances.
Caitlyn Jenner pretended to be a man all her life, starting at the age of seven, when she first borrowed outfits from her mother from her mother's wardrobe. The fact that in 1976 Bruce Jenner won gold in the decathlon at the Montreal Olympics and then collected more medals did not reduce his internal conflict. At some point, he even started taking female hormones, but when he met Kris Kardashian and quickly married her, he stopped. “Bruce... was always forced to lie. He lived with it: every day he hid something, from morning to evening. Caitlin has no secrets, I'm free,” admits Caitlin. The former athlete has already undergone hormone replacement therapy and painful facial plastic surgery to acquire a neat Greek profile. Whether Jenner will undergo a full gender reassignment surgery, she has not yet decided. We, however, will soon find out about this - from the Bruce-Caitlin reality show called I Am Cait. Sometimes it is enough for a transgender person to make a “social transition”, when a person asks friends and relatives to call him not Kolya, but Vika, for example. Or vice versa. Others drink hormones and go under the surgeon's knife. It takes years, sometimes a lifetime. Some then completely change their social circle, even the city and country, in order to keep the secret and avoid condemnation. “That's me. Stuck - I hate that word - a girl stuck in a boy's body. ...My brain is much more feminine than masculine. It’s hard for people to understand, but that’s my soul,” Jenner complains. However, the vicissitudes of his gender transition are more than offset by millions in profits - primarily from a new reality show. As it turns out, in an era of super-publicity and the pursuit of sensations, transsexuality is also a hot commodity.
Transgender people and the transphobia that accompanies this phenomenon have recently been compared to the gay movement that gained momentum in the 1970s and 80s. In tolerant California, three years ago, they passed a law that schoolchildren can choose which toilet to go to - M or F - in accordance with the gender to which they identify themselves. And if some teacher with conservative manners gets in the way, the parents go to court. This is what the family of six-year-old Koya Mathis did when the kid refused to go to the urinal, and the school principal literally closed his access to the ladies' room with her breasts. The Commission on Civil Rights eventually recognized the right of a young transgender to write with girls. The daughter of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt is also diagnosed with a “gender identity disorder” behind her back - the blond Shilo looks like a Disney princess, but her mother does not mind that the girl does not wear ruffles, loves stretched sweatshirts and skillfully scores goals. It's funny that at the Kids Choice Awards, Shiloh became friends with the pampered Suri Cruise, a nine-year-old fashionista, and the American tabloids immediately squealed that in ten years we might see a new non-standard couple. In general, absolute bodily sincerity for many is now becoming a new way of self-affirmation. At the end of the summer, the Internet and social networks exploded with the Self-Evident Project, a photo project involving 10,000 Americans, including many celebrities who are convinced that the sexual spectrum is too wide to be labeled and that the very concept of gender is an outdated template. One of the stars of this project is 16-year-old Lily-Rose Depp, the daughter of Depp and Paradis, who recently became the face of Chanel.
In the world, one of the first gender reassignment operations was carried out in 1952 - the American military became a woman. In our country, this was done a little later: in 1970, the Riga surgeon Viktor Kalnberzs was the first in the USSR to deceive nature and return the spectacular 30-year-old brunette Inna (the last name is still kept secret) to her psychological body. She left the doctor's office as Innokenty - with the reproductive system of a man - and lived like that until a ripe old age. The story of this scandalous operation was declassified only last year, when Kalnberzs published his memoirs.
According to psychologists, as early as the age of five, with the help of tests, you can find out how a child determines his gender role. Many Western doctors have recently called for considering transgenderness not as a mental illness, but as a natural feature. “Only parents can either give a child the happiness of becoming who they think they are, or break them into playing the wrong toys,” said Dr. Jody Herman of The Williams Institute, an independent research organization in the field of gender identity. As proof, she cites chilling statistics: more than 40% of transgender people have tried to commit suicide. However, in Russia the topic is officially hushed up. The main Russian trans-activist, Yana Kirey-Sitnikova (formerly Gleb), did not get a new “female” certificate from the passport office and left Russia altogether. Now he lives with his beloved in Strasbourg, where he receives a PhD in molecular informatics. From there, she maintains a blog in which she comments on the latest laws in the field of transgender law, and also meets with UN representatives on behalf of all transgender people in the former post-Soviet space. Like the members of the Seff-Evident Project, she is convinced that the notion of gender is long overdue. This is what he fights for.
But perhaps soon transgender people will not shock anyone. We live in an era of narcissistic individualism where self-expression has become the new religion. Plus, the world is somehow moving towards parity, where gender boundaries are indeed gradually being erased, and any stereotypes, taboos and restrictions cease to play a defining role. There is an opinion that female emancipation became the catalyst in this process. And it was she who launched an unprecedented wave of tolerance in the world and opened up so many options for us that both men and women ... got a little confused. Many have lost their way, lost their bearings and, perhaps, their sense of proportion. And some even lost themselves. But maybe everything happens exactly the opposite? We are looking for ourselves, trying to understand and realize our true identity and life needs. Each one in its own way.
A New Twist: A Transgender Story
Julia and Roman (names have been changed) - at first glance, an ordinary family that is raising a young son. The only difference is that Roman used to be... a woman. Yulia Sonina wrote down their unusual story.
Roman, web designer, 30 years old
Change sex - do not get a tattoo. There is no such thing as: “Oh, cool, I’ll go and do it!” Transsexualism is a medical diagnosis. Some people are born with a heart defect, and some are born with gender dysphoria. This is when a person is uncomfortable in his body. I don't even remember when it all started. In early childhood, you don’t think about what gender you are. But even then it was obvious that my sister is a super girl, and I got the roles of boys in all the games. That's how it worked out. The first conscious discomfort I felt in the fifth grade. For example, when you had to put on a skirt, in the locker room, in the pool. It's not that I have any complaints about my body. But the very fact that you have to be a girl - think a certain way, move, want something girly - was unpleasant to me. I wanted to abstract from physiology and everything connected with it. I was good at it. I studied well. Graduated from school with a gold medal. I read a lot. I was friends with guys who, unlike me, went to discos, kissed girls, drank beer and smoked outside the school.
I remember when my sister said, "Let's go buy you a prom skirt," I felt a terrible inner dissonance. We went and bought it, but I never put it on. As a girl, I wasn't very pretty at all. The chest is small. The figure is awkward. Short haircut. However, the way I look did not bother me much. My sister and I became students, got carried away with music, started going to concerts. And then, among the musicians, they accidentally discovered one about whom it was completely incomprehensible - this is a woman or a man. He/she grew a beard and said all sorts of things. It turned out that the singer just had problems with hormones. But she introduced me to real shemales. The more I learned about gender reassignment, the more I realized that this is exactly what I need. For my sister, at that time the person closest to me, it was obvious that something was wrong with me. At some point, I asked her to talk to my mother. She, and then other relatives, understood everything correctly. They began to call me "Roman", as my friends had been calling me for a long time. Only one person said, “Sorry. I can't understand it." No so no.
For a person who wants to change gender, there are several ways. Someone asks familiar transsexuals to get hormones and begins to inject themselves at home. His voice is gradually breaking down, his mustache is starting to grow. He becomes like a guy, but lives with women's documents and breasts. But a man in a woman's dress most often looks bad and causes much more dislike than a woman dressed as a man. I chose the official way. I found a psychiatric clinical expert commission - in St. Petersburg. It was then headed by an outstanding psychiatrist, one of the few people who are engaged in gender theory in our country. The man is meticulous, but correct, not a sadist. That's the way it should be. Many trans people are insecure people. Therefore, a whole bunch of tests for mental health, adequacy, which have to be passed several times, have been invented. The main question that you are asked can conditionally be formulated as follows: “What will we do if you suddenly decide tomorrow that you are a stool?” There are precedents when people at some point wanted to return everything back. Give a trial period. Like newlyweds before the wedding. I received a certificate that gave me the right to hormone therapy, sex reassignment surgery and change of documents in a year. I experienced euphoria - greater than later, when I was already injecting hormones.
I have been on hormones for five years now (they will have to be injected all my life) and have been shaving for quite some time. So far, he has done only one operation - he removed the breast. The next step is the removal of the internal female organs, and then phalloplasty. When it comes to sex drive, like my wife, I don't get hung up on what gender partner is. Before the transition, I briefly dated a guy. And then I met Julia. She is smart, beautiful, we talked with her at night and love the same thing: movies, books, music. And each other. What else is needed for happiness?
Julia, producer, 29 years old
I have always been family-oriented and, with all my tolerance (I had a bisexual experience), I still represented a man next to me. Roman, when we met, I perceived it that way. Although on paper he was still a woman then. I knew from the very beginning that he was going to change sex. And it didn't shock me. If you see a person as a whole and you are interested in him, appearance and gender are not important. After several years of friendship, we began to live together. When Roman proposed to me, I fell into a borderline state for three months, because I was not sure: does he really want to marry me or realize the possibilities of a new passport? Plus, I wanted kids. There were no disagreements. We signed and began to find out what options there might be in this regard. The option that we found gives partners of the same sex the maximum degree of kinship. The mechanism is this. Roman stopped taking hormones for six months. They took an egg from him, did IVF and transferred it to me at the embryo stage, as if I were a surrogate mother. Our baby is now six months old. Genetically, he is completely the son of his father - that is, Roman. The resemblance is obvious, although we were looking for a donor who looked like me. We want more children in the future. After all, on the advice of a reproductive specialist, we fertilized and froze several eggs at once. So it gets even easier.
Deceived 64-year-old Jan Grimberger said in an interview that he could not even imagine that his wife was born a boy. He also added that he might never have known about it if not for his wife's cousin from Indonesia, who told the whole truth.
Jan recalls the first time he met his wife Monica in 1993, when Monica came to her hometown of Antwerp to visit her sister and nephews.
“She was very beautiful and feminine. I was then married for the second time, but my marriage collapsed and I fell in love with her at first sight,” Jan told daily Nieuwsblad.
“She seemed to me a very attractive woman, and she did not have pronounced masculine features. At that time she was 27 years old, so I asked her if she would like to have children.” “I was glad when she said no because I was 44 years old and already had two children with different women.” “Over the years, when we had sex, they took some kind of special pills, and also used a special lubricant. Apparently, all transsexuals use it,” Yang says. “She was a great mother to my children, she was a great cook, but she hated cleaning the house or ironing things – and now I understand why.”
Grimberger also noted that their relationship with his wife has deteriorated markedly over the past two years. The reason for this was her late return home, as well as revealing outfits in which she liked to walk along the street.
“She loved to wear such outfits in which almost intimate parts of the body are visible. In addition, she had more than 100 pairs of shoes in her collection,” Yang admits. “One day I noticed that she registered on a dating site and talked with young guys, and I didn’t like it. And after the visit of her sister, who shed light on the truth, I decided to get a divorce.” “I told my son about it and he said that he had heard rumors that Monica was a transgender.”
“One evening I sat her down at the table and we had a frank conversation. She admitted that she used to be a man, but she did not like it, and she decided to have a sex change operation. My world collapsed in a matter of seconds. I was horrified that I had thrown almost 20 years of my life into the trash.”
Changing gender is not like changing into a different style of clothing. This is a very serious question, the psychological aspect of which we will not approach today. We just invite you to look at the TOP 10 transgender men who changed their sex and became happy, famous and rich.
1. Balian Bushbaum.
Balian Bushbaum was born in 1980 as Yvonne Bushbaum. As a woman, he competed in the pole vault and finished second in Germany. Despite this, in 2007 he refused to continue his career due to an injury. At the same time, he decided to change his gender. In 2008, Yvonne officially became Balian.
2. Buck Angel.
Transsexual film director Buck Angel is a powerful figure in the gay community. In 2007, he was the winner of the Adult Video News Award for Transgender Anchor of the Year. In addition to his performance activities, he is also a lawyer, teacher and writer.
3. Lauren Cameron.
Lauren is an American activist photographer, author, and transsexual. His work includes the creation of portraits and self-portraits of the bodies of lesbians and transgender people. Lauren also documented the transition of her body from female to male.
4. Ian Harvey.
American Ian Harvey is a comedian, and often uses this for his performances. Many celebrities of the world of non-traditional orientation participated in his show, led by Margaret Cho.
5. Lucas Silveira.
Born in Canada in 1979 as Lilia Silveira. Lucas Silveira went down in history as the first transsexual to openly declare this. Lucas is a vocalist, guitarist and songwriter for one of the rock bands.
6. Katastrophe.
Rocco Kayatos, also known as Katastrophe, is an American hip hop rapper and record producer. He also became the first transgender hip-hop artist.
7. Thomas Beaty.
Thomas Beaty became famous all over the world thanks to his "pregnancy". As a woman, Beaty lived for almost 25 years, only after that he began to take male hormones. He did not want to agree to surgery, because he himself wanted to become a mother, like his wife. At the moment, the beat has 3 children.
8. Ryan Sullans.
Rhine was born under the name Kimberly Ann Salans. He currently works for the Transgender Organization of America as an attorney. He went through the transformation from a woman to a man in 2005 and has since starred in the program "Larry King Live!", As well as in numerous magazines as a model.
9. Andreas Krieger.
Andreas Krieger, as a woman, competed in track and field with the East German team as a shot thrower. From an early age, he was fed anabolic steroids without his knowledge, which led to the fact that his appearance became more and more "masculine". In 1990, Krieger retired from the sport and in 1997 participated in a sex change operation.
10 Chaz Bono
Chaz Bono, known as Chastity Bono as a child, is the daughter of famous American singers Sonny and Cher. At the age of 25, Chastity publicly admitted her lesbian inclinations, and a couple of years later she underwent a series of operations and now enjoys simple family happiness.
Dear reader, I invite you to the world of classical psychoanalysis - to the path of exploring the truth about yourself!
Briefly about psychoanalysis:
Psychoanalysis can be called a procedure for the analysand to get rid of his own delusions.
The object of psychoanalytic research is beyond good and evil, and this is not a figure of speech. In the unconscious, everything is really possible!
Psychoanalysis makes possible the birth in the unconscious of a person of an event that drives him crazy, and the appearance of this event in his mind as a problem.
The analysand feels the result of psychoanalysis by the changes in his mental reactions - as he goes through psychoanalysis, he begins to like them more and more.
All intellectual work in psychoanalysis is performed by the psychoanalyst. This is what I say to my analysands: “You have already thought about yourself and this is what happened. Let me think about you now, I can do better.”
Criticism of psychoanalysis is a rather strange phenomenon: when they are dissatisfied with the results of medical care, they scold the doctor, and when they are faced with the uselessness of psychoanalysis, for some reason they scold psychoanalysis.
The price for the effectiveness of psychoanalysis is the requirement to devote several years of your life to it.
Fear of psychiatry is an ideal motive for undergoing psychoanalysis (they come to a psychoanalyst when they want to avoid a meeting with a psychiatrist).
At a psychoanalytic session, the analysand plunges into his subconscious, without a psychoanalyst it is almost impossible to do this).
The psychoanalyst rarely asks, but constantly redefines
Only a Jew with indestructible self-esteem (a person to whom God personally said that he is, and he is his chosen one) could create a psychoanalytic theory in which a person is completely devoid of subjectivity.
Psychoanalysis involves not only the analysand and the psychoanalyst. The longer I am engaged in psychoanalysis, the more I become convinced that the third, perhaps the most important, actor in the psychoanalytic process is life - it always supports psychoanalysis at the right time with a necessary event into which it plunges the analysand, and sometimes the psychoanalyst.
The psychoanalyst's talent lies in an absolute sense of context. On the reality behind the text and defining the text, the psychoanalyst has “absolute pitch” (by “text” I mean both the words pronounced by the analysand and other symbols through which he tries to convey the desired idea of himself).
The psychoanalyst is an extremely dangerous profession. Psychoanalysis is often carried out by talented people, the delusional idea of the world cultivated by them is always well developed, intellectually almost flawless, and therefore quite convincing - it is possible not to return healthy from a journey through such delusion.
At the level of simple intuition of the mind, it is clear that incest is an unnatural act; if a person strives for incest, then he has gone mad. But there is also logic in madness: psychoanalysis is actually studying the logic of madness.
Freud discovered psychoanalysis as Columbus discovered America; what happened to America later has nothing to do with Columbus, of course.
I am always interested, and this is really surprising, to notice how the analysand controls the course of his psychoanalysis: if I make a mistake and start moving in the analysis in the wrong direction, the analysand (even if at that moment he has a surge of resistance to analysis), as if by chance, says a word (remark, episode) that makes me stop and rethink what is happening.
To express his spiritual life, a person uses a strictly individual set of words, paired with each other in a pattern that is difficult to change; having understood the pattern of selection and conjugation of the words used, one can understand the structural features of the problem areas of the human psyche. From this discovery of Freud, in fact, psychoanalysis was born.
The problem of modern Russian psychoanalysis is its lack of scientific subjectivity. Not one of the Russian psychoanalysts can break away from his scientific alma mater and remain a psychoanalyst at the same time; they are all enthusiastic students of some European school, there are even a couple of "excellent students", but not a single teacher. The problem, in fact, is that there are no teachers in Europe either - all the students are Freud's students, and he himself is a useless teacher - the theory created by him can be called, perhaps, "sighting".
A dream is an opportunity to look into the nearest subconsciousness directly, almost bypassing the analysand's desire to present the opening picture in a favorable light. Psychoanalysis is inconceivable without dream analysis - dream analysis is often the only tool that allows the analyst to understand what is really happening with the analysand, and not as he sees it.
The psychoanalyst never gives advice to the analysand, and this is not out of arrogance or posturing. The psychoanalyst realizes that the analysand's world is much more complex than he can imagine; even more difficult than the analysand himself can imagine. What advice is there!
The long duration of psychoanalysis is a myth that does not correspond to reality. Compared to a lifelong commitment to psychiatric care, even eight years of psychoanalysis does not seem like a long time.
Psychoanalysis is a universal method for solving mental problems within its competence. All the problems that psychoanalysis takes on are treated in the same way, which is why psychoanalysis is indifferent to diagnoses.
From the psychoanalyst, the analysand will never hear the word "should" or "should". Even to such a seemingly obvious one: “You need to do psychoanalysis if you came to a psychoanalytic session,” the psychoanalyst always adds “if you want, of course ...”.
It would be a mistake to regard psychoanalysis as a tool for intellectuals. A quality that is especially valued in psychoanalysis, in addition to a sense of common sense, is the ability of the analysand to reflect. By the way, the ability to reflect one nature with a sense of humor.
When one of my analysands begins to blame me for the high cost of psychoanalysis, I usually remark: “You reproach the seller for the thing you want is too expensive for you!”
Psychoanalysis is not immoral, but extramoral procedure. The main motto of psychoanalysis is “Nothing forbidden and sacred, no a priori truths, no unconditional authorities! Everything must go through a critique based on the reality principle!”
Watching the epidemic of "stardom" and "eliteness", you understand that psychiatry is now very lacking in the concept of "socially stabilized schizoid process."
When the image begins to subjugate a person, a person begins to have mental problems. Psychoanalysis helps a person regain control over the logic of the development and existence of his own image.
I don't do good, I'm not God enough for that, I do psychoanalysis.
Criticism based on the reality principle always begins with a phrase like: “Oh my God, what an idiot I am!”
Delusion is a necessary, but completely unviable idea of the world. Delusional tendencies are often confused with creativity. Psychoanalysis explores the logic of delusion formation: delusion, as it turned out, is an absolutely logical structure.
Psychoanalysis is a new method of studying the human psyche. The object is old, one might say - eternal, but the method is new.
Psychoanalysis is an objective, therefore natural, process of understanding by a person the truth about himself. As an objective natural process, psychoanalysis could not be Freudian, or Jungian, or Lacanian, or anyone else's. Any psychoanalyst treats psychoanalysis in the same way as any physicist treats physics.
Psychoanalysis is a concentrated life. In one psychoanalytic session, the analysand can live through and solve a problem that, outside of psychoanalysis, would take him half his life to solve.
Psychoanalysis is the natural state of man. When a person thinks about his problems, he begins his psychoanalysis, not quite scientific, though.
Psychoanalysis elevated common sense to the main principle of the existence of a normal person and called it the principle of reality.
The unconscious is the same for all people - "unconscious" and "collective unconscious" is a tautology.
Psychoanalysis is a method of reconnecting a person with reality, including with the reality of oneself. The psychoanalyst awakens in the analysand a sense of common sense in a situation where he has lost it.
The psychoanalyst is somewhat reminiscent of a stalker from the film of the same name by Tarkovsky. Like a stalker, he leads the analysand through the zone of his own delusion to the meeting place with true desires. After the meeting, true desires always disappear somewhere without leaving a trace.
Philosophy is closest to psychoanalysis, psychology is a little further, psychiatry is very far away.
A philosopher cannot but be a psychoanalyst. One cannot speak of man at all without being able to explore the depths of the unconscious of the individual. Each person is the whole person. Any person is a person in general.
Psychoanalysis requires the art of the psychoanalyst; craft alone will not do here. Every psychoanalysis is exclusive; effective psychoanalysis is the result of the creative efforts of the psychoanalyst.
Insanity is etymologically a very precise concept: mental pathology, at least the one with which psychoanalysis works, arises precisely as a result of a person’s descent from his mind, that is, his cessation of a critical, based on common sense, elaboration of his idea of himself and the world on the subject removal of the delusional component from it.
The utilitarian value of psychoanalysis is negligible: only a small percentage of those in need can use the help of a psychoanalyst. On the other hand, the general cultural significance of psychoanalysis is enormous: without psychoanalytic research, the formation of an adequate self-image by a person is impossible.
It is not the event that happened to him or even the possibility of such an event in the future that drives a person crazy; a man is driven mad by the possibility of an event that has never happened in his history and of which he knows nothing but that it is possible. An example of such a possible event is incest.
Gays should be treated like patients with a contagious disease: under certain conditions, anyone can get sick, but it's better to be careful.
In psychoanalysis, of course, there is the concept of the norm. It doesn't say much, because it doesn't need to. The analysand comes to the psychoanalyst when he loses the ability to control what is happening to his psyche, and comes in order to restore this ability. Thus, the norm in psychoanalysis is that a person has the ability to control his mental processes.
The subconscious is easy! Everyone can enter the subconscious through the context of what is happening. What happens almost always has a context, which has its own context. Plunging into the context of the context, you plunge into the subconscious, but you can’t get to the unconscious that way.
During a psychoanalytic session, the analysand can say whatever (!) comes to his mind as material for psychoanalytic consideration. This is a strict rule of psychoanalysis. It leaves a choice for the analysand, but leaves no choice for the psychoanalyst. If the analysand can choose a topic for analysis, then the psychoanalyst must be ready to analyze any text given by the analysand. In fact, this means the absence for the psychoanalyst of even potentially closed or forbidden topics, that is, topics that block his ability to analyze.
Communication between a psychoanalyst and an analysand is fundamentally different from any other type of communication between two people. In ordinary communication, all participants strive to appear to each other as mentally healthy people, the requirement to control their delusional outbursts is a prerequisite for any communication. In psychoanalysis, the opposite is true: due to the fact that psychoanalysis is an analysis of the analysand's delusions, the psychoanalyst not only does not prevent the analysand from immersing himself in his own delusions, but also deliberately provokes him to do so. True, the delirium of the analysand sometimes infects the psychoanalyst himself, but these are already his problems.
Homosexuality is the ideal resolution of the Oedipus-Electra complex. If it were not for the ontological intuition that tells a person that homosexuality is a path to non-existence and aesthetic frustration from contemplating this non-existence, then there would be much more gays and lesbians.
Libido and aggression flow through the same channels and in the same direction - from top to bottom - from strength to weakness, this is the problem of the stability of sexual relations. It is difficult for a woman who can stand up for herself to find a man who would see her as "weak and defenseless." It is extremely difficult for a man not to blame the woman who excites him for all his weaknesses and failures: it is tempting to take revenge on her for all his insignificance. Without love, the problem would not be solved.
There is one global contradiction in psychoanalysis: the psychoanalyst must lead the analysand to where he, out of ignorance, seeks to leave. This contradiction gives rise to the analysand's resistance to his psychoanalysis.
The “death” instinct sounds something like this: “Yes, you are right, I invented him and I invented all the relationships with him, but it’s easier for me, I want to! I want to live in an illusion! I don't want to live in reality, leave me my dreams!
People communicate not at the level of text, but at the level of context. It is intuitively clear to everyone that it is not what a person says that makes sense, but what he wants to achieve by pronouncing his text. In this light, the concept of honesty is a concept that is completely impossible to rely on. This is especially true in relation to close people, relationships with which should be extremely emotional. If the concept of honesty had a practical meaning, psychoanalysis would not be needed; why study the analysand's relations for five years if he could tell everything about them.
Psychoanalysis and psychoanalytic psychotherapy are fundamentally different methods of treating the psyche. The statements of some psychoanalysts about the legitimacy of replacing the concept of "psychoanalysis" with the concept of "psychoanalytic psychotherapy" should obviously be considered a manifestation of a complete misunderstanding of the subject. Unfortunately, one has to put up with the idea of the impossibility of mass training of psychoanalysts, no matter how long, painful and expensive it may be.
The open unconscious is life in all its fullness. To open your unconscious, you must imagine that you are the same person as anyone else, and everything that can happen to any other person can happen to you. To close your unconscious, you must imagine that you are the chosen one and what can happen to other people does not concern you. Blocking the unconscious - this is the main functional purpose of the image of the "chosen one".
The unconscious is structured not by events, but by the possibilities of events that have never happened in human history. The subconscious is the depth of the event, and the unconscious is not an event, and it is not even the possibility of an event - it is precisely the possibility of an event that a person can only imagine (the unconscious is structured by the possibilities for presenting an event). That is why the unconscious cannot be reached through the context of what is happening.
In the process of psychoanalysis, the psychoanalyst and the analysand are in a state of subtle emotional interaction. To understand what the analysand says, the psychoanalyst must see how he says it. The analysand, in turn, comes to the psychoanalyst precisely because of the "coldness" of his analysis; behind his calmness and quiet empathy at those moments in which an unprepared person faints or boils with furious anger. It is this calmness and quiet empathy that gives the analysand the opportunity to approach his forbidden topics, to allow information that has the potential to destroy him to be analyzed.
Criticism of homosexuality is extremely emotional, and therefore unconvincing. The intellectual component of criticism stalls for one simple reason - the object for criticism is chosen incorrectly. Criticizing gays for specific sexual preferences is like blaming fascists for their lack of humanity and compassion for "degenerate nations." With his pretentious sexuality, the gay seeks to demonstrate to the "cattle" his "divine" nature, devoid of prohibitions and taboos. If anything is anomalous in homosexuality, it is an exaggerated claim to some a priori social exclusivity, and specific sexuality is just ... a whim of a "frolicking God." the fact that they immorally realize "chosenness".
Homosexual fears are predominantly heterosexual men. This is due not only to the fact that a passive homosexual role excludes masculinity in a man, but does not exclude femininity in a woman. There is still
I remember being struck by Freud's characterization of a young man who was taking a course of psychoanalysis with him. He said something like this: "Like a true philosopher, he could only be aroused by someone's fresh excrement." It is not clear what philosophy has to do with it; Freud did not give explanations for this strange characterization. You have to be careful with psychoanalysts.
The ability to simulate arousal and orgasm allows a woman to hide her lack of sexual desire. A man does not have such an opportunity, so sex for a man is more dangerous than for a woman. The despair of a man in front of his fallen member against the backdrop of condescending female support is the reason for many family dramas, invisible to anyone. Insults from a man are always visible, insults from a woman always remain in the bedroom.
The Indians are right: sex is also a battle between a man and a woman. And in this battle, a woman wins more often than a man, and that's all, again, because a woman can imitate arousal and orgasm, but a man cannot.
Determining the context of female behavior, Freud was obviously under the influence of national attitudes that he was unconscious of, therefore he did not understand anything in a woman. A woman has never envied a man. A woman has never needed any phallus, except perhaps as a property. Everything is just the opposite. To build a working model of female behavior, one must proceed from the fact that a woman perceives her genitals as a kind of super-valuable object for a man, for the possession of which the latter must give at least everything he has.
For the psyche, incest is not an unconditionally negative experience, moreover, incest unconsciously attracts a person on a number of points, this is the problem of repression of incestuous fantasies. The main thing that unconsciously attracts a person in incest is the ability to effectively resist the overwhelming aggression emanating from his own super-ego. The present possibility of incest with the mother makes it easier for the young man to endure the pressure of his father on his pride. The same thought, only on the contrary, warms the girl in conflict with her mother. The more aggressive the same-sex parent, the more active the incestuous fantasies in the child's unconscious.
It would be a big mistake to think that the goal of psychoanalysis is the sexual emancipation of a person. Psychoanalysis has nothing to do with sexual liberation or sexual disinhibition. Psychoanalysis helps a person to maintain control over his mental life, to remain the master of what is happening to him.
The use of psychotropic drugs by a psychoanalyst to increase the effectiveness of psychoanalysis speaks of his complete incompetence. Psychoanalysis is essentially a verbal technique. According to psychoanalytic theory, all the problems that are within the competence of psychoanalysis are related to the disruption of the verbal "bridge" from the unconscious to consciousness. It either lacks the necessary words and logical constructs, or there are unnecessary words and incorrect logical constructs, or both. The psychoanalyst helps the analysand find and correct defective areas and complete the missing ones.
There is no Russian soul, of course. All people are the same and the souls of all people are also the same. But Russian culture keeps open the way to the soul, that is, to a certain universal space of human subjectivity. Russian culture is a culture of absolute subjectivity. Only in Russian culture does the human soul have access to consciousness. In all other cultures, this path to the soul is closed by a mask of chosenness. Russian culture is the only one of all cultures that rejects the idea of the possibility of a fundamental division of people into the elect (by God) and the cattle according to some a priori criterion.
Real psychoanalysis is based on one strange, but at the same time distinct, metaphysical experience. In the space of human existence there is a point of nullification of the experienced. Getting to this point, a person receives a twofold experience: he is cleansed of his past and future, while being filled with a concentrated experience of himself. Interestingly, to stabilize the psyche, it is not at all necessary to stay at a given point, a simple assumption of such a possibility in oneself is enough. Psychoanalytic technology relies entirely on the zero point. From this "point", for example, follows the basic rule of psychoanalysis - psychoanalytic experience is permanently reset to zero, psychoanalysis permanently begins with a "blank slate". The psychoanalyst's idea of his analysand follows from this same "point": the psychoanalyst sees in him a person who is able to nullify his past experience and start all over again.
Working on the phenomenology of subjectivity, I finally understood how a dream differs from reality: in a dream, the actors, except for the dreamer, have no subjectivity. In reality, a person feels the subjectivity of the people around him and the world around him, and in a dream, the action taking place is subjectless for the dreamer. Similarly, reality differs from delirium: in delirium, as in a dream, the actors, except for the one who perceives the delirium, have no subjectivity. Sleep differs from delirium in that delirium is made by a person (a delusional idea of reality, including about oneself, a person needs), and sleep is not the fruit of human activity, sleep is a kind of natural psychophysiological process that a person is forced to perceive.
Entropy is a solution to a problem facing a person in the subjectless environment of his reflective self-consciousness, that is, in a certain natural environment formed by the human psyche without the participation of criticism based on his reality principle (the alternative to reflective self-consciousness is the critical self-consciousness of a person; critical self-consciousness includes reflective self-consciousness is its more complex form). We call the subjectless environment of our stay "sleep" or "delirium".
Having extended the definition of the concept of "man" by the concept, I received a logically consistent and quite functional model of the human psyche - a model that made it possible to create a working psychoanalytic theory; which, in fact, is a strict proof of the existence of God (the legitimization of the concept of "the final cause of one's actions" is a proof of the existence of God, since any final cause is God). Interestingly, it was not a theologian, philosopher or physicist who managed to prove the existence of God, but a psychologist, who would have thought!
(Note to psychiatrists) The functionality of the concept of "the ultimate cause of one's actions", and hence its legitimacy, is found, among other things, in its direct psychotherapeutic effect. As soon as the analysand realizes that it is he who is the ultimate cause of his actions, and that without his sanction, none of his impulses will be realized by him (will not become his desire), which is indeed the case, his mental state abruptly and before our eyes stabilizes. So he says, not believing that the worst is impossible: “But what, really, nothing will happen without my sanction (forbidden impulses will not be realized) ?!”
In one sentence. The evolutionary hypothesis is unscientific nonsense because there is no transition between species and there cannot be: no animal can produce anything but itself. Never and under no circumstances will any animal produce anything fundamentally different from itself. If a fish gives birth to some kind of mutant, then it will necessarily be the same fish, only ugly. Never and under no circumstances will a fish produce a little bit of a lizard, and a lizard a little bit of a bird.
Sincerely, Ivashov
PS. The materials presented by me on this site are a monograph. In accordance with copyright law, any use of the submitted texts without mentioning my authorship is not allowed.
Lumari, I'm not a psychologist. I am one of those who found themselves in a situation somewhat similar to that of your husband. Or one of those who turned out to be - on the forums we really often write about ourselves in the feminine gender.
I understand your concern and sincerely would like everything to go well with your husband and son. But what "safely" means depends on who he is after all - a transvestite or a transsexual. From your story, one can at least understand that he loves both his son and you (in any case, he is afraid for you). So, all is not lost with the family. Further, you have probably already read how a transvestite differs from a transsexual. Yes, transvestites "play" women, but do not seek to change sex. In general, it is. But it happens that transvestites also have an idea to change sex. It was with me too, against the background of depression caused by the inability to realize myself. It is clear that transvestites will not pass through the medical commission. Transsexuals are also divided into regional and nuclear. And if nuclear ones almost without options get to surgeons, then marginal ones can still remain in the body that nature gave them. From what you have written about your husband, I can assume that he is either a marginal transsexual or a dual role transvestite who is in a depressed state. In general, it is difficult to judge from a distance in the retelling. On the forums, he is advised by regional and nuclear transsexuals who have gone through serious psychological tests ... and they measure your husband by themselves and wish him well. But good is, let's say, only for him, not for you.
Now about prospects. If I am mistaken, and your husband still cannot do without surgery (for nuclear ones, either changing the sex or in a noose is not a joke or a figure of speech), then a divorce, alas, is inevitable. True, as long as he has a minor child, the commission will not give him permission for the operation. There are options by the commission, but this is money. In a word, if he goes this way, you will have to decide: to be a stranger, girlfriend or life partner to him (even if it sounds strange, but this happens, although no registry office will register such a family). At least you are close people with him, you have a common child. Only you and your husband can decide, let the advisers arrange their fates. If he can do without surgery, then you need to understand: he will still not be a "man" in the classical sense. Most likely, he will be able to play a man in public, but he will need an outlet at least at home. That is, you will either have to leave him alone periodically, or take his feminine side. It will be hard to accept. Very difficult. Incredibly difficult. But if you can do this, you will be the closest person on the planet to him. His gratitude is hard to describe in words. But for you personally, this will mean that you will see a woman in front of you. You didn't marry a woman, did you? Have you imagined a long and happy life with a man? Will you be able to endure a new life? Will he be able to give up part of his female life for you? Or will it be easier for you to part with your husband? Do you need this cross? These are questions that only you and no one else can answer.
Questions about your son stand apart. A child can understand and accept dad in such a role. But he himself in the children's team may have problems if he tells that his father is a woman. Children are cruel. Difficulties will arise, if not in the garden, then certainly at school. This means that the husband will have to hide his feminine side from his son ... well, at least until he is 15-16 years old. Or maybe longer, depending on the nature of the child.
If you hope to "cure" him, then this is most likely futile. Transsexualism is caused by a congenital abnormality in the structure of the thalamus. This is not amenable to treatment. Transvestism is related, oddly enough, to alcoholism. The treatment is just as difficult. And since it does not represent direct harm to the body, unlike alcoholism, doctors simply try to reconcile a person with the disease. Wives of transvestites can find a lot of useful advice for wives of alcoholics.
In the short term, I will advise you to stop crying and remember all the good things that connect you with your husband. In a skirt and lipstick, he is, oddly enough, the same person. And his feelings for you do not depend on whether he is wearing socks or stockings. Try to accept it. Distinguish: when he will be a woman, and when he needs to be a man for you. Agree on how much money he can spend on his female image. Agree that he is allowed and what is not in relation to you, while he is in the women's. If you can, try to be not only a wife for him, but also an older girlfriend, help create a worthy image. But do not forget in any case that you are also a woman, that you also deserve to look beautiful and at least from time to time to see a man next to you. And then - talk to him, listen and talk again. Listen to your feelings. If you realize that you can live together - it will be great. If you decide to break up, it should be a mutual decision, without mutual resentment. But for now, know that transvestism or transsexualism of a husband is not always a divorce, it happens in different ways.
P.S. As a sign that you will try to accept him, buy him pantyhose. Or nice underwear. And then ... then something will happen. Smile, huh?
