I once had a fight with my best friend on the eve of her birthday. I wrote to her the next day, but she did not answer. I came home from work, washed my face, put on a dressing gown, poured myself some whiskey and... And after a while I felt so sorry for myself - I can't express it! In general, I decided to break away on my own, got up, put on sneakers and went to the club. Right in the bathrobe. What is most interesting, they even let me in there. The problem is that at some point I sobered up and found myself on the dance floor in this form. The rest of the evening, in general, had to be spent in the toilet cubicle. Well, I took the phone with me and still got through to my friend. Reconciled. She even took someone's jacket with her to cover me.
Maria, 25 years old
We got drunk with friends at the club, walked home barefoot, because it was no longer possible to walk in shoes. I came and I understand that my husband is already sleeping, but in the morning he will definitely understand everything - just by the powerful smell of fumes and dirty heels. So, in order not to get caught, you need to drink adsorbent at night, open the window and be sure to wash your feet. I ate enough coal, in general, I opened the window and washed my feet very carefully. I forgot to take off my stockings.
Evgenia, 33 years old
It was about being a student. Gathered with a friend in a large group. He had his own two-story house and a very kind mother, who said that she had made a bed for me downstairs, in a room near the stairs. At some point, I staggered towards the stairs, intending to go down and go to bed. But, firstly, I lost my balance in the middle and flew down, and at the foot of the stairs, the kindest shepherd Jackie was sleeping. I fell right on the dog, but she managed to endure it silently. And secondly, then I opened the door to the room, saw a sofa with a pillow and a blanket right in the direction and collapsed on it, having time to think that it was somehow uncomfortable. And for some reason there is no bed linen. I woke up from the fact that Jackie was licking my face, and my friend’s mother was standing in the room and whispering: “Detonka, you slept on a dog sofa, this is her sofa, and I made a bed for you right here ...” And points to a magnificent bed right opposite. Linen, shining white, and the corner of the blanket was even unfolded. As in the screen saver "Good night, kids!".
Anastasia, 27 years old
I met with a friend, stayed up late, and I had to go home out of town. I decided to stay with my parents. I ring the doorbell and understand that I need to strenuously pretend to be sober, otherwise mom and dad will be upset. I go in, which means I take off my jacket and shoes and I understand that the whole family is somehow looking too closely at this process. At the same time, I hear some strange background sound, very nasty. I try to make an even more sober face, and then my mother finally breaks down and says: “Maybe you’ll get off the cat’s tail already ?!” The whole scene did not last long, of course, but it was remembered forever.
Elena, 24 years old
I received my first salary and immediately bought myself contact lenses: I dreamed about them all my life. A couple of days later I got drunk visiting friends, realized that I would not get home and stayed for the night. I removed my lenses before going to bed and put them in a glass of water. And in the morning, of course, I drank water. Along with lenses.
Vera, 21
It was believed that in a state of hangover, the hedgehog becomes even angrier and more merciless to garden pests and more vigilantly guards the area where it lives from them...
Peasants placed plates of beer under almost every bush. Hedgehogs - great lovers of alcohol - did not keep themselves waiting long and gathered in large numbers at the sites.
My sister lived for several days in Hollywood in a hostel with seven Australian citizens. They once swelled hard and one of them was completely bad. Well, she took pity on them, said, they say, let's give the ladies a piece of coal.
They started yelling, they say, you Russians are completely crazy to eat coal. She explained to them as best she could that it was not coal, but, they say, wood, specially burned, processed, etc. In general, everyone refused, and one, who was the worst of all, accepted.
The essence of the incident in the city of Sochi is as follows. Drunk freshmen swagger and stopped their attention on the Sochi fountain, which beckoned with its enchanting. One of the girls decided to play a joke, squatting over the central nozzle when it was turned off. After a few moments, a powerful stream of water suddenly burst out. The girl fell, and then complained of pain in the lower part of the pelvis. Arriving doctors found no injuries, but stated the loss of virginity.
Well, a masterpiece of stupidity! As in the good old song - at the festival of idiots I would be a member of the jury. Imagine, now this person has official confirmation that her first man was the Sochi fountain. It is a pity that, due to his lack of spirituality and the lack of a civil passport, he cannot be forced to marry.
Why do you need a dog in the car? - to protect the driver, someone can answer like that. This will also be correct. But best of all, one eagle from the city of Novosibirsk disposed of it. He put the dog behind the wheel when he was caught drunk by the traffic police.
When the traffic cops drove a suspicious car into a dead end and approached it to present it to the disobedient driver, a dog was found driving ... And the drunk owner of the car claimed that it was the dog who was driving the unit. No, but what if?
There was a crowd somewhere. Drunk girl at 2 o'clock in the morning suddenly wanted to go home. The drunk guy decided to give her a lift. How and what they were driving there - xs, but a traffic police crew passing by saw a car in an emergency gang at the fork and a pretzel crawling along the roadway.
Upon closer examination, it turned out that the pretzel had a screwdriver in its hands, and the markings were damaged in order.
When asked what, in fact, the young man is trying to convey to the broad masses of the people with this performance, a quite adequate answer was received: "I need to turn around, but there are two solid ones ... But I don't want to break it."
A neighbor in the country said, Uncle Gena, now a pensioner, and in the mid-nineties - a commuter train driver. At one of the stops, two drunken young men of 18 years old enter the vestibule of the first car. They do not enter alone, with mopeds. For a while, while drinking beer, they make noise, as if they don’t really bother anyone. When they ran out of beer and topics of conversation, they came up with a new entertainment.
They began to "measure themselves with peeps" - they started their mopeds, they accelerate, they find out who's engine roars louder. The car was full of smoke, the few passengers in the evening moved to the next car. Even in the cockpit of the locomotive brigade there was nothing to breathe. The driver's assistant, a guy not much older than these "Schumachers", goes out into the vestibule.
Guys, turn off your engines, you are not driving here alone ...
- What are you? Did you find the main one? Your job is to push the levers and announce the stops, so go and work, don't bother the boys!
- I'll call the police now, fifteen days you will sit for hooliganism.
- Go, call at least three times, we still get off at the next stop, these goats won’t even have time to get into the car, and we will already be in the neighboring village on our Deltas, we have cylinders of 80 cubic meters. Hear how they growl? (Followed by a jerk of the throttle and a cloud of acrid smoke from the exhaust pipe).
One beautiful and rather frosty day in the mid-eighties, our director, together with the instructor of the district committee, the chief engineer and the head of the site, decided to go to logging with a small such check. About five kilometers before the camp, the road was blocked by a skidder with checked logs of wood. While the tractor was diligently breaking through the snowy edge, giving way to the UAZ, the management went out to smoke. Along the way, a tractor driver was also called, who nevertheless managed to drive the skidder off the road. In the frosty air, the instructor sniffed the air and:
- He's drunk!
- Really drunk! - also sniffing, the director confirmed - you, Nikolaenko, hand over the tractor today, and tomorrow the first timber truck to the village, I will fire you at thirty-third.
At first, the tractor driver seemed to want to mumble something, desperately pointing at the tractor without windows and doors, but, looking at the stony faces of the leadership, he desperately waved his hand and went to his iron horse. Then the situation got out of control.
When I was a student (and this was not so long ago), I and three senior journalists (violent, cheerful people, worried only about God forbid! the introduction of dry law) rented a 3-room apartment in the Nyvok area. The journalists were fermenting in a black way - from work, by 11 p.m., they crawled to the apartment, yelling: "Mom has come - she has brought a drink!" tumbled into the hall - the place of our nightly intellectual conversations about politics, history and other topical topics - and began to throw beer, cognac, vodka, etc. onto the table from the inside of their outerwear at the speed of an ATM. Moreover, all this was already drunk and the brains of journalists, tired after work from chats and ICQ, demanded urgent relaxation by attracting a green (but mostly transparent) serpent. And the process of laying the banquet table began.
Where are you cutting the sausage on the table?! I dried my boots on it yesterday!
- Well, so, because of your shitty dogs, we can’t eat sausage now? - seems illogical...
- Hey, logician, bed the newspaper on the table and don't worry, the problem has been found...
In general, with such friendly, harmless jokes, we began to have a meal like that at half past one at night. When sitting at the table, the news channel was turned on and a discussion began: “Which of the journalists is honest, who is corrupt, who is a pro, who is an asshole, who is an asshole, etc. After about forty minutes, I realized that in our country there are only assholes (and this concerned of the entire population), the country is in the ass, tomorrow the war will begin, and in general the scribe crept up unnoticed ...
Preamble. For those who don't know, hedgehogs bite painfully. If you get them very hard (judge for yourself - they can crush a rat and a snake, which is your mongoose). Especially in the spring, when they come out of hibernation - are they angry, or something, awake? And who is good in the morning? ..
It happened last year. Right in May. The man arrived at the cottage in the evening. Friday. Evening. Wife, mother-in-law, five-year-old daughter at the dacha. They dined with the company, the man pretty much took it on his chest - on Friday, with his wife and mother-in-law.
They stayed up until 12 at night. Tea there, then and there ... The peasant went to the garden "before the wind." And there is a hedgehog. Healthy. Well, the drunk man is drunk, but he managed the hedgehog, caught the animal. He thinks I'll show my daughter in the morning, let the child be happy. Only here's the bad luck - while he was twisting the hedgehog and packing it into bracelets, he, resisting arrest, bit his hand - the flesh of the palm, but in two places.
A man brings a arrested hedgehog to the terrace, washes away the blood, and his mother-in-law says to him: "You are a fool. Hedgehogs endure rabies. So khan ..." The man, of course, is horrified. So what to do? We need to go to the hospital, injections there, then and there. And he's drunk and well. Can't get behind the wheel. The trains no longer run. Full, in short, forks. He is sick and scared. The hedgehog, dropped on the floor, swears under the sofa. The wife is horrified. The mother-in-law also swears like a hedgehog.
My friend never says "last", but only "extreme".
When you ask him "Where are you going?" - replies: "Don't block my way!"
At first it was perceived as a joke, but often it comes to insanity!
He knocks on wood and spits over his left shoulder.
Does not walk under two pillars, etc. constructions.
Do not shake hands over the threshold.
And he does not take money in his hands in the evening, he asks to put it on a tree or on the ground.
However, all this does not prevent him from driving drunk! ...
Yesterday was...
Going to work. Towards 2 homeless people (~ 50 years old), very drunk (about 7 am).
This is mise-en-scene. Here is their dialogue:
- (1) Yes, there is no St. Petersburg rock!
- (2) How not?! And "Alisa", "DDT", "Chizh"!...
- (1) Well, you finally .. Kinchev is a Muscovite, Shevchuk is a Tatar (here is a mistake, he is Russian from Ufa), Chigrakov (that's right! Not Chizh) from Dzerzhinsk.
- (2) Yes, no .. Kinchev is definitely from St. Petersburg.
The answer killed me for a whole day. ATTENTION!!
- (1) Have you listened to his songs? "In Moscow I am a Leningrader, in Leningrad I am a Muscovite." How's that for you?!
FRIENDS!!! How can a homeless person drunk in f@pu remember a song from the album "Energy" in 1982?? That's where the quote comes from.
It's a pity they left and their conversation was not heard anymore.
This story happened a long time ago ... Back under socialism.
My friend and I were returning home from a friendly party late in the evening. It was just in the midst of the fight against alcoholism. We go, we have fun, we fool around. Oh, young green.
Well, here the garbage, as usual, grab us by the white hands! And do not want young people to relax a little in the sobering-up station. Of course, we did not want to, but who asked us? Issued s.ki for one or two.
Well, there is nothing to do, I lay down on the bed and zakemaril. Then my sidekick shakes my shoulder, they say you want to smack? I fell down from an oak tree to him, but we are in a sobering-up station! In shorts! He told me, don’t piss, let’s ask to go to the toilet, there is a scoop of vodka in the drain tank. Leave me half. Well, they did.
First I went, then he, after a while. Well, as they say, this bottle had an effect on old yeast. And let's tear the song at the top of our lungs.
It turned out that while I was being processed, my friend asked to go to the toilet and hid there a bottle that our friends gave us on the road. All the same, he says the cops would have taken away during the search.
To say that the cops guarded us when they saw us in the cell at four o'clock in the morning drunk at least squeeze it out, to say nothing. They just f*cked. And then, when it was time to let us out, the head of the sobering-up department himself persuaded us for a long time to tell us how it is possible to get drunk in this institution at four in the morning? He even promised not to send a notice to work. But we didn't say anything to him...
The other day my friend and I decided to relax after work. And we had a dispute: how much to take - 0.5 or 0.7. 0.5 is not enough, but 0.7 is too much. They doubted for a long time and as a result they took 0.5 ... but two bottles.
Petersburg history! About intellectuals!
It was at the beginning of the 2000s, I rented a little room in the apartment of one honored artist of the RSFSR. Looks like in Soviet times the state was generous to him for a three-ruble note in the historical district of the city.
Well, I’ll add that my friends simply called him Actor Aktorich.
He looked like the lead Wolf with the same manners, but did not squeak so hysterically. He did not know how to earn money and lived on a modest maintenance from the theater combined with renting out two rooms to a half-starved student mass. The man was not a fool to drink and drank mostly port wine, and then in St. Petersburg there were 100 varieties of cheap port wine with numbers from 23 to three axes. Sometimes he will go out into the corridor, see that he is going to catch up, and say:
- My dear, I'm watching you overtaking, be so kind as to grab a bottle for me, otherwise there's a performance in the evening, but I'm kind of out of my mind. Just don’t take it at the corner store, but take it at the garden store 24 hours a day. Yesterday I aggravated it ... I left a very good impression.
Important: A bottle cost well ... like cheap beer, in a word, swill.
One acquaintance, as usual on Friday, returned home very blue and after midnight. In order not to wake up the spouse and child and not to receive a turnip until morning, I decided not to turn on the light and rustle extremely quietly. Since he was absolutely drunk and didn’t see a damn thing (as if at night), he undressed using the “hang his jacket somewhere in the void” method. There was no longer enough strength for further undressing. After wandering a bit in the dark, he stumbled upon some kind of hard crap and, finding a plane on it, decided that it was a bed. I fell asleep and it seemed that nothing foreshadowed trouble, but the bladder had other plans. In short, he got it.
Our hero woke up and did not understand where he is. I touched the front-cliff and the bottom is not visible, behind the same canoe, as well as on the left and right. In general, he crawled, he crawled along the surface and everywhere there was a cliff and it seemed to him an abyss. But then he turned on his brain and decided to check the depth of this abyss, found the keys and threw them down. And there is a bolt, like silence. From this, he got concrete sludge about the immured demons. In general, he screamed from this with a good obscenity, let the creatures go, I want to live !!!
The wife turns on the light and, with the words, why are you yelling, the nerd is watching his rightful one crawling on all fours on the table. Basically an oil painting.
(and the keys fell on the jacket)
We had a welder at work - a big drinker. As they say, not a day without a bottle. And so he got the boss that he said to him "tomorrow you will have a drink with me, I will stand over you and where the hell are you going to go."
The welder is also ready. The next morning after receiving the task, the master approached him and began to observe his work. After a while, he noticed something strange - the welder did not go anywhere, but at the same time he was clearly drunk. How? Here he is, and he's obviously drunk.
Well, there was a security camera on the building nearby. When we watched the video, it turned out that the cunning welder, having given the command "Eyes" (which means that everyone should turn away so as not to get a retinal burn), ignited the arc with one hand, and with the other took a sip from a flask stored in advance in the inner pocket.
The retired ensign was given an expensive Kenwood walkie-talkie at his new job in the security. And he lost it on Saturday. But he lost it not somewhere, but at home, celebrating the Day of the Faceted Glass with former colleagues. The next day, the ensign's apartment looked like that haystack where they are looking for a lost needle, since the walkie-talkie cost at least two ensign's salary. The wife and children, frightened to the point of impossibility, with a roar, were looking for a walkie-talkie everywhere. A little later, yesterday's drinking buddies also arrived, joining the process of total raid.
Finally, fully convinced of the aimlessness of the search, they decided to make an experiment - sending the children to their grandmother, get the ensign and his comrades drunk until yesterday's complete insensibility, giving them a walkie-talkie substitute - a children's cell phone bought from the Chinese, and see where it will be hidden. Gritting her teeth, the wife trodden a path in the snow, a stall - a house, bringing a forty-degree, but, preoccupied with the loss, the company did not want to leave for the city.
Tired, resigned to the loss, the wife, on the last trip to the stall, decided to take communion herself, swallowing 150 grams on an empty stomach. And then smoke. And, opening her own cosmetic bag in order to get cigarettes, she found a walkie-talkie, which she had removed from sin the day before.
Joyfully running into the apartment, she saw her husband, who, in a coma, opened a segment of the parquet floor and hid a children's phone there. Into his secret stash, unknown to his wife. And not empty...
Tori
What can a person who is in a drunken state do. Fears and instincts are automatically turned off when a certain dose is reached, and a person becomes ready for literally anything. Therefore, almost everyone has funny drunken life stories in which he does incredible things. Reading drunk stories from life, as well as viewing funny drunk gifs, is a pleasure. You get a grasp and begin to imagine the picture through the eyes of the hero.
Real stories about vodka
Almost all real stories about vodka start the same way. Alcoholic drinks are over, but you want to continue the fun, so someone goes for more. And then interesting adventures begin. You have repeatedly heard or read such cool stories about vodka and you know what can be in them. Funny and unusual stories about alcohol amaze with the capabilities of the hero, his resourcefulness and self-control.
I myself have not been drinking beer for almost seven years, but still, in my youth, I was a fan of this drink. And of course, even I have in mind interesting stories about beer. They are similar to other funny stories about alcohol, but differ somewhat due to the originality of the intoxicating drink. In most interesting stories about beer, there is a moment when the drink requires an exit. And then the really interesting part begins.
Funny stories of alcoholics
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Drinking Stories, #1:I saw it all this summer with my own eyes. So - the middle of summer, the heat, a huge dacha cooperative, elongated into one tape - a flat, narrow long road passing in the forest between two rows of high-voltage power lines, on both sides of the road - twin plots, all with the same area of \u200b\u200bsix acres, the same forms. Somewhere in the middle of this tape on one of the plots - a wedding. A huge tent like a summer cafe, which occupies almost the entire site, yells something loudly into the toastmaster's microphone, while you can hear not only her, but some wheezing, the electricity called 220 volts hardly draws 150, because Saturday, everything is in the country , someone turned on the welding, someone turned on some pumps, the voltage jumps and the sound-amplifying equipment works with great tension. Somewhere in the afternoon, pretty drunk and full of guests, a natural desire arises to warm up, dance, and make a fuss. Since the tent with tables stands on the site and occupies the entire site, on one side of the site there is a dense and filthy forest, on the other side of the road, after some time about fifty drunken guests pour out onto the road. The cooperative is large, the road, as already mentioned, is one. The summer residents traveling along this road back and forth are forced to push their cars through this crowd every time, beeping. About an hour later, the drunken guests decide to put this matter under control and begin to demand from the passing tax to the budget fund of the young and drink a glass for their health. Drivers are naturally indignant, the cooperative is large, no one knows anyone, and the health of the young, for which you need to risk your driver's license, and their budget, for which you can almost be robbed, believing that they have every reason to give them a damn. But it is difficult to argue with such a huge drunken crowd, which has already accumulated to the state of "who would be stuffed in the face", but I want to drive through. Toward evening, a traffic police car with a police car drove up to the place of our action for dismantling. As expected, someone was caught drunk driving and he honestly admitted that he was forcibly poured vodka into him and at the same time robbed. It was very difficult to find a specific culprit, it was even more difficult to arrest the entire crowd, after some time the scandal was hushed up, the traffic cops and policemen were persuaded to sit at the table, drink "peace", they resist for a long time, but in the end they still agree, etc. and so on..... It was getting dark. Pretty drunken traffic cops with policemen and our already drunken guests found a common language, after which they organized an impromptu checkpoint, placing police and traffic police cars on both sides of the street under the fences, turning on their flashing lights and leaving a very, very narrow passage in the middle, in which you probably already understood the guests, with the support of our valiant traffic and law enforcement agencies, they again began to collect tribute and force passing summer residents to drink. .. Curtain....
Drinking Stories #2:
Today, another story from my partner Vovan, and if the venerable public would like to read all this, then let's start ... All this happened with two of Vovan's best friends in Russia. They got together somehow for fishing, the first one, Sanya, had no problems, but the second one, Seryoga, the parents didn’t want to let go - they really needed him that day. In short, Sanya made an effort and persuaded his friend’s mother to let his son go with him. Well, what is fishing without vodka?! They drank, did not go fishing much, drank again and began to swagger. I don’t know exactly how and where, but Seryoga jumped into the water and cut his legs. A friend sent him to the hospital, sobered up a little and came to the conclusion that it was necessary to inform Sergey’s parents about everything. He collected fishing rods, things that were left, and among them bloody sneakers in which Seryoga jumped into the water. On the way, for courage, he took more (after all, whatever one may say, he pulled out a friend and was indirectly guilty to his parents for what happened) and rang the doorbell ... Mother opened the door, Sanya hiccupped, sniffed, and holding out fishing rods and bloody sneakers to his mother He betrayed his friend: “This is ..., here, what is left of Seryoga, and they will bring him later ...” For a long time he did not show his nose to his friend.
Drinking Stories, #3:
To begin with, I’ll say that I’m renting an apartment together with a girlfriend ... So, last night we went out into the yard to smoke so that our child (a cat named Nastya) would not breathe smoke ... On the stairs, Lena (a neighbor) noticed that we went out without keys. It’s just scary to describe what we were wearing ... Lena in a coat put on a bra, torn jeans and slippers, and I’m in a dirty jacket on my naked body, in which I usually take out the garbage and jeans 4 years ago and not the first freshness ... The first thought that came up was to go to the avenue to catch a car in order to get to the owners of the apartment and take the keys. After much torment, we stopped the car (the only valuable thing we had with us was a lighter), after a brief presentation by Lena of the history of our torment, the driver looked at Us with a clearer look and said: "WILL NOT GO!!!" ... And then we decided to go to our neighbors to call our acquaintances ... Lena called her friend A. (the name is not published for the purpose of secrecy from his wife), whom we waited for half an hour near the garbage cans ... Let's go to the owners' house on the other side of the city. On the way, they decided to call and warn the owners of the apartment about the current situation ... Then it turned out that the owner, along with the keys, went to the dacha, to a village called Zazhop ... sk, which is 100 kilometers from the city. I will not describe how we were looking for the right house in the village so as not to exhaust anyone completely! When the house was found, the owner came out to us drunk to zero in family shorts and for a long time could not understand what was actually required of him ... AND HERE (drumroll) WE COMED HOME ... wow ... night ... and the entrance is open... said goodbye to A. and went home to the soft beds... I think you guessed it already... the key didn't fit... THE CURTAIN!!!
Drinking Stories, #4:
A few days ago. Morning. There had been a binge the night before. The people, solidly yielding, are lying around somewhere, gradually moving away. One of us (Zeus), still vaguely imagining where he is, picks up the phone and calls his sidekick (Amanita) on a mobile phone, tell how good he (Zeus) spent the evening, and it’s a pity that HIM (Amanita) WAS NOT. They chat for about ten minutes on the speakerphone, they interfere with sleep. It turns out that Amanita could not get to us, because he himself participated in a drinking bout that evening. They chat for another ten minutes, Amanita asks to wait, because he stomps to the toilet, he can’t stand it anymore. Here the door of one of the rooms opens, a fly agaric falls out of it like a booze, and with a pipe at the ear on the first space one flies past the stunned Zeus. Moral: drink less.
Drinking Stories, #7:
I was told the following story: the boss of the peasants locked a bottle of alcohol in a safe. They thought for a long time how to get it from there, and then they lifted the safe and dropped it, the bottle broke, they put saucers under the legs ....... what's the idea?
Drinking Stories, #9:
She came home, got into the elevator, and got stuck in the area of the first floor. Already she screamed and stamped her feet, but to no avail. (I did not understand whether it was at night, or during the day, when everyone was at work). Finally, weary, she sat down on the floor, leaning her head against the elevator door, and dozed off. Suddenly he hears - the door in the front door slams,
someone with unsteady steps rises to the elevator and stops at its doors. She understands that the dated man, apparently, is now pressing the elevator button. So that he does not suffer, she says: "Do not try, the elevator does not work." Outside, a few seconds of pause, and then a phrase in a slurred tongue: "Here are the bitches, instead of fixing the elevator, they put an answering machine ..."
Drinking Stories, #10:
This incident happened in my native house #19 on Biryuzova street, which is an ordinary five-story "Khrushchev" with four entrances, 20 sq. each. If someone doubts, then as Panikovsky used to say: - Go to ... Minsk and ask! It happened on the eve of Prohibition, when people still believed in "Communism with a human face", glasnost, perestroika and all sorts of other nonsense. All knowledgeable old women were always sitting on the benches, a pack of children raging around them, unaware of the presence of monks, racketeers and hunters for "live goods". The male population in good weather spent time at a table in the yard, playing cards and dominoes, along the way drinking "ink", less often "white". In bad weather, they gathered in a heat station, where meetings of the housing cooperative were held every half a year, and the rest of the time it was possible to walk from the free, because. the room was equipped with skill. One summer evening, someone rang the doorbell. Father went to open it, two men from our house are on the threshold and they tell a story that a neighbor from the first entrance fell from the fifth floor and crashed. Before that, they drank with him, but his wife appeared and drove home, no one really knows how everything happened, but the man died, and therefore it would be necessary to help his family with funerals and commemorations. Parents gave money, in such cases everyone dumped 3-5 rubles each, as best they could, and the "walkers from the people" followed on, they still had to collect donations from 10 apartments. Forty minutes later I went out into the street and, while making my way through the line of sympathizers, I heard 20 versions of what had happened. At the ill-fated entrance of the "untimely departed" the newly-minted widow was sobbing, the cops and the district police officer were darting about, with a dumbfounded look and eyes popping out of their sockets. He ran like a restless hamster either to the entrance, or behind the house, while repeating the whole road "I don't understand anything", "It can't be", simultaneously interfering with "obscenity". The crowd, sensing something was wrong, threw it behind the house and saw the following: the fifth floor is available, the windows are present, there is also a dent from a fall 30 centimeters deep, the shoes of the deceased are right there, but there is no "blind man's blind man" himself. It took the residents a few seconds to understand the situation, the money had been paid. But the district police officer was completely confused, especially after the report that the service dog did not pick up the trail. Only some time later, he began to understand what was happening, because. noticed the almost complete absence of the male half and the modest whispering with a small bag of the female. When the valiant militia burst into the heat station, having previously knocked out the steel doors with a bolt, they found there numerous friends of the deceased and the unfortunate man himself, mortally drunk, who noted the successful resurrection of the dead with the money collected for the commemoration.
