Each of us has a past that, over the years, still affects our present. What we have already lived can make us inert people who are afraid to trust others. Everything that happened then still hinders the process of self-realization, hindering success in the future. The negative of the past, resentment and disappointment - all this often simply sucks energy out of a person, makes him lose faith in himself and his own strength. Over time, this starts to annoy the more successful people.
Do I need to get rid of the past?
Failures distract consciousness from setting life goals, do not allow us to move forward, limit our actions. How to be? How to say goodbye to the sad past that prevents you from living? And if there is no way to forget, then how to direct your feelings and emotions in the right direction? How to live with it further?
First of all, you need to understand that not all memories of the past need to be freed. After all, what happened brought us not only pain and resentment. Life does not consist of only black stripes! Happened to you moments of happiness and joy? Therefore, before trying to change your current state, you need to coolly analyze your past. Some kind of psychological inventory should be taken.
Remember once and for all - it is impossible to free yourself from bad memories by constantly thinking about what happened to you. Start accepting everything that happened to you as a life experience. And only after that you will be able to live on without looking back. Unfortunately, girls often continue to treat failures and disappointments with annoyance, reproaching themselves for mistakes and mistakes. And for a long time, the fair sex cannot forget the wrongs inflicted by someone, cultivating them in their souls and increasingly blocking their way to the future.
If a person is constantly in a similar state, he is doomed to failure. You can't look forward optimistically if you keep looking back. So for a short time not only to twist your neck or stumble, but also to fall into a deep hole, from which it is rather difficult to get out. Usually we don’t know how to forget past relationships, we don’t imagine how to say goodbye to resentments. It would seem that what is easier - realize, analyze your mistakes and live on. However, many girls don't even try to change something. They do not suspect that they themselves are blocking the path to success.
In short, in order to fully perceive the present, make the right plans and boldly step into the future, you need to remember one rule - forget the past as an uninteresting and boring book. After all, we throw garbage out of the house, and do not store it? It would be strange to regret expired cheese or sour milk. We sigh, put it in a bag and go for new products. Of course, I would not want to buy expired sausage or sour cream. But we have already learned how to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Learning to forget grudges
Forgetting your negative past is not easy. It does not allow you to sleep at night, unexpectedly pops up in your memory at the most inopportune moment. It torments with guilt and regrets that things could have been different. Could it or not? What if you would have acted differently, and this would have led to more serious consequences?
Everything that fate had in store for you had to go through. This helped to become wiser, more patient, more experienced. But even if you are to blame for what happened once, why now lament? What was, what was - this can no longer be fixed. Failures should be treated calmly, since you cannot forget the past, constantly regretting it.
Let's try to let go of our past and try to switch to events in the present. There are many ways to do this. And only by trial and error you will find the right option for yourself. Some need a change of scenery by going abroad, while it is easier for someone to burn the things of their ex. The only thing that you should understand is that without new impressions and without crazy antics, you will not be able to forget about troubles.
So let's get started. We take a pen and a piece of paper, remember some situations and moments from our life, then try to look at them as if from the outside. At the same time, we try to be calm, not to react to memories too emotionally.
Remember, our goal now is to close the doors to our negative past and direct energy to the future. We concentrate and watch our memories, like behind the scenes of a movie on a TV screen. We are not present in them! We just look and write down the names of the people present on a piece of paper. Our task is to get rid of memories in order to start living anew, and not bring ourselves to tears.
We do this until our memories run out. At the same time, we do not strain, trying to remember what does not come to mind in the first place. If it does not appear, then it is not essential for the construction of our future. First of all, our consciousness provides the information that is especially important at the moment. You shouldn't add something superfluous to it. We take only what we are able to process without stress.
After you free yourself from past memories and write down the names on a piece of paper, calmly and detachedly look at the resulting list. Did you get a lot of names? It's okay, because it doesn't matter. We just try not to feel emotion towards people who bear these names. Did Alexander hurt us? Well, well, she's already gone through ... Has Elena once offended us? It was a long time ago and no longer matters. Tatiana betrayed once? Tatyana has not been in our life for many years, so is it worth remembering this betrayal?
In approximately the same way, we consider each person behind this or that name. We do not sort people into good and bad. We do not condemn them, we do not criticize or praise them, we do not evaluate them. Unfortunately, it is impossible to erase the past, leaving it in your emotional world. We also do not try to evaluate the positive and negative aspects of the situations that have occurred in our life. After all, everything that happened to us before has shaped us in the present. It is in it that we now exist, and in the past we simply put things in order.
We consider the names on the list until our consciousness gets used to perceiving them aloof. This is the first step towards how you can forget the past. Now we have to form a separate niche in our minds in which we will place our past.
Human memory is like a large warehouse where everything that once happened to us is stored. It is impossible to destroy it in it. But to hide everything in the farthest room of the memory-warehouse and then close the door tightly is easy. In short, we need to isolate memories in a separate corner of our consciousness and try never to go there again. For isolation, we mentally address immediately everyone who has been marked on the list, without highlighting the personality and connections between them.
How to forget your past and live on? Just imagine that in front of you is a group of people, a kind of collective, where everyone works to the best of their ability. And each of them has its own role in which they performed in your life. We thank everyone for participating in our destiny, for the fact that we have received a lot of experience. After all, all people are travelers following a certain route. For a while, their paths intersect, one person interacts with another, then they diverge and go further.
We will be grateful to everyone who met us. It doesn't matter what kind of experience we got, good or bad. Both the positive and the negative of the past - all of this is of value. It is the building blocks of our future. And may our temporary life companions also have such a foundation. We will write a grateful appeal to them and wish them good luck on the way.
We apply this way until we feel inner lightness. This means that we were able to resolve the problems of the past. And it has turned from a heap of complex tasks into an ordinary life experience. And now we are trying to direct our energy in the right direction. We turn our thoughts to ourselves and set goals for ourselves. We only plan our own future, without affecting others, no matter how close they are to you.
It is better to think of other people as successful, happy and healthy individuals, without fitting them into the situations planned for yourself. Because the hope for the participation of others in their personal destiny is nothing more than violence against their will. And the free will of any person is inviolable.
In short, even mentally one should behave correctly in relation to others. Forgetting past relationships is possible only if you understand that in the creation of any situations there is always the free will of each participant. An attempt on her life is unacceptable. You cannot plan your future, focusing on the participation of other people in it. Perhaps they will help us build it, but it is very likely that this will not happen.
And what, hoping for someone's presence and not seeing this person once nearby, be confused, not knowing where to move on? Is such a future we want for ourselves? Of course not. Therefore, we plan and organize only our own destiny. Let other people enter it or, on the contrary, leave it, but only of their own free will.
After we have placed our past in the farthest corner of the memory warehouse and defined our plans for the future, we boldly move forward. You should not look back - the past is safely hidden and you will not see it anymore. We have already taken everything we need from it. And we don't need extra baggage on the way. Walk more nimbly lightly. And more fun, because we have a goal ahead of us.
Self-hypnosis is one of the most effective ways to forget the past. Of course, not every one of us seeks to erase it from life. But if the memories are painful, then you need to get rid of them. Otherwise, they will interfere with building their own destiny.
If it is too difficult for you to forget the past, contact the specialists. They will help you understand the picture of what is happening. There is no need to carry the baggage of memories into a new life. Everything that we have experienced before, we have already experienced repeatedly in our memories. Every situation of the past is a brick in the foundation of our future. And it depends only on us.
Discussion 11
Similar materials
Greetings to all my readers and subscribers, and those who have just decided to join a large number of people engaged in self-development and their health. This article will talk about our negative memories, which sometimes like a "snowball" haunt us. We will learn to get rid of them effectively.
Every person in his life makes a lot of mistakes, and this is quite normal. We are not robots to do everything perfectly. But some people learn from them experience, while others engage in self-flagellation, remembering mistakes again and again.
Some, especially strong negative memories make a person feel awkward, shame or fear, and this is very bad from a psychological point of view. This greatly spoils the mood and on this basis it can, and it is very difficult to fight it.
It is common for any person to make mistakes in life, and the main thing is to learn how to extract positive moments from them and not dwell on the past. We hope that the following tips will help you to forget all the bad things in your life.
1 Learn to love yourself
It is necessary in any situation to accept yourself as you are, and not to drive into the rigid framework imposed by society. If you love yourself and begin to enjoy life, then it will also be favorable to you.
2 Stop obsessing over your problems and past failures
If you are constantly haunted by negative memories from the past and interfere with your normal life, you can try this psychological technique.
Present the problem in full force. You need to experience it again, only this time in your thoughts. Remember all the details, feelings. Try to make it as vivid and natural as possible. After you have reached the maximum visual perception, imagine the problem in the form of some image that came at that moment.
Observe it from the side, carefully peering into the details and after a while mentally remove it from your head, thinking about something good. You can then fix the result, for example, push-ups from the floor. This technique of replacing the negative with the positive is used in the army. And it works well.
3 Look at future problems and troubles from a philosophical point of view
It never happens that everything goes like clockwork. Any person has problems, both in the past and in the future. The difference between successful people and losers is their scale.
When a car breaks down and there is no money for its repair, one person can be completely demoralized, and a professional military man, for example, can fight for his life and be in an almost hopeless situation, but at the same time.
All problems are relative, and mean exactly as much as we attach importance to them.
4 Technique "Draw a problem"
Of course, many of us are not artists, but if negative memories persist, take a piece of blank paper and draw a problem. Draw the first thing that comes to your head. This works in the same way as the previous technique, only with the help of graphics it is possible to work out the image more strongly. After you have drawn it, burn the sheet. After a few sessions, the experience should diminish significantly.
After completing these exercises, think about good things. Life is great if you treat it in a positive way! Good luck to you!
In our today's article, we will talk about some of the features of our psychology. We will talk about how to forget everything, more precisely - with the help of which it can be done. Very often we are tormented by past memories, not allowing us to live normally, but it is real to cope with them.
How to forget all the bad
The classic advice from psychologists is to keep yourself busy with something else. And there is a certain reason for this. If you think about it, a busy person will not spend too much time recalling the past, referring to it only when necessary. Even in his free time, he will not have time to stir up the past, since he will want to take an elementary break from business. So uploading yourself isn't such a bad idea. Well, what about those who can't do it? Here, and some psychologists may come to a dead end. Forget about everything - how can you do it yet? There is another way, which is called very simply - awareness. But what needs to be realized? We will now talk about this in detail.
What is the past
It would seem that the answer is extremely simple, the past is what happened to us once, long ago or not so long ago. The key word here is happening. Thus, the past is our mind, which disturbs us, preventing us from living normally in the present. There is only one way to cope with the mind: to realize that everything that happened once is not real. It's easy to say, but many people fail. Then ask yourself this question: why are you so attached to the past, is there really nothing interesting in the present? Maybe I'll tell you a trivial thing, but there is no point in living the past in your mind, you just turn into a zombie, a programmed person, lost not so much to society, but, first of all, to yourself. Not impressive? Then I will tell you about one interesting person who went through a lot in his life, including the war, but eventually became famous for his ability to help people cope with various difficulties, and in particular - to overcome the problems associated with the past. His name was Harilal Punja, but in the world he is better known as Papaji. So he spoke very interestingly about the mind. The mind, he said, is a grave robber, digging up bones from the past for his own gain. In order to understand this, you just need to experience some bright event, even a shock. At this moment, you will not think about anything other than this event.
The most effective way
Just imagine: you are walking along a forest path, thinking that next week you will go on vacation to a warm region, or you are going through your break with some person. And then a moose jumps out onto the path. Tell me - what will you think about? Where do your thoughts about the past go? That's right, not a trace will remain of them, because at the moment you will need to think about much more important things, namely, about your own safety. In the case of one parable, it was about a woman contemplating a wedding when a lion jumped out onto the road in front of her. So you need to invite such a lion on your way, or, if not figuratively, change something in your life. A new hobby, a new job, a change of residence or a trip somewhere and, of course, a new love can help here. There is no past - there is only our memory of it, and this is an indisputable fact. And in the memory itself there is nothing wrong, the main thing is to use it correctly, namely, to solve problems in the present.
About insults
Approximately a similar technique with how to forget all grievances. Just think about what the grievances are. I assure you: many of them, on mature reflection, will seem frivolous to you. Well, and serious - let them serve you as a lesson for the future. Take this as a lesson that it is better not to have anything to do with such people. The question is often asked: is it necessary to take revenge? It needs to be solved based on your character. For example, there are things that I cannot forgive when a serious offense is inflicted not on me personally, but on a loved one. You can act in your own way, but do not forget that you need to answer adequately, in no case going too far. Most of the grievances are sick only for our ego - these can simply be ignored and paid attention to more important things. You just need to not confuse self-esteem and ego - they are completely different things. So you will avoid many unnecessary worries, which is what I wish for you.
Chances are, everyone has memories that people would like to forget. An alarming incident, an embarrassing situation, humiliation, insults from a loved one - it can be anything. And no matter how hard you try to forget it, the memory resists.
You don't have to suppress all unpleasant thoughts. There are times when you need to think about what went wrong in order to learn from your mistakes and move on. But when the only result of your thoughts is to prolong the pain, you need to get rid of them and move on.
According to recent research, people can program themselves to forget everything on purpose. Here's how to forget what you don't want to remember.
Drive bad thoughts away
The conscious decision not to think about bad memories can help erase them forever. When you're reminded of something you don't want to think about, don't let your mind think about it.
Forget all the details associated with memories
To get rid of bad memories, forget about the details, people, emotions associated with them. Details can include smells, sounds, or images associated with an event you don't want to remember. For example, if you don't want to think about a traumatic event, get the details out of your head. It could be a song playing in the background, or people who were looking at you at the time.
Do it daily.
It is difficult to suppress unpleasant memories. Any thought that is suppressed tends to ricochet. For example, if you want to block the emotions associated with a car accident, your brain searches for any thought about it to block it. This makes it, so to speak, more accessible. That is, when you do not block it, the thought rushes back, again haunts you. Thus, you need to block the memories on a daily basis. You need to regularly push them out of your consciousness.
Don't focus too much on thought blocking
Trapped thoughts tend to revive faster and stronger when you give them too much value, pay attention to it. Acknowledge the fact that suppressing thoughts is very difficult, but you must keep working on it, and try not to overdo it.
Avoid triggers
Certain images, objects, smells, or places can give you bad memories. Throw objects or images that prevent you from forgetting what you don't want to remember from your head. Avoid places or meetings with people that remind you of your painful past.
Distract your mind
Another strategy you can try is to replace the bad memory with something good. If the thought of past failure continues to haunt you, try thinking about how you've done well in the past. Don't let bad memories affect your mood. As soon as they wash over you, start thinking about something good.
Associate something positive with a bad memory.
Learn to associate negative thoughts with positive ones. This will help you overcome bad feelings. For example, think about your bad moment while enjoying a good movie, or do what makes you happy. Positive association will make your negative memory less painful.
Become aware of the memory
Another theory suggests that being fully aware of the memory and the negative emotions associated with it will help you cope with painful emotions. Feel angry, sad, or painful. Scream, scream, cry. Let go of your emotions to reduce their influence over you.
Use a release ritual to erase memory
This is a mental exercise, a kind of ritual to release negative emotions or memories that have lodged in your mind. Write down every detail of the memories you want to forget. Allow yourself to write openly, knowing that no one will read it. Then you need to burn a sheet of paper. When you see that the paper is on fire, you mentally free your memory. Alternatively, you can also rip or shred the paper into small pieces, this also helps a lot.
Practice mindfulness
Learn to focus on the present moment instead of thinking and worrying about your past, which cannot be changed or foreseen in the future. Don't live your day on autopilot. Notice and pay attention to small details, sights, smells and sounds. Regular meditation practice will help you to be mindful and appreciate every moment of your life.
Live your life to the fullest and create good memories
Always be around people who make you happy. If possible, travel and meet new people. Communicate as much as possible. This will help you form new good memories, which will naturally make your bad memories fade away.
Don't sit around
Come up with a new hobby or physical activity. Dedicate yourself to creativity and take part in arts and crafts activities. Expend your energy creating something new, or try yourself as a volunteer. You will be constantly busy with business, and you will have less time to spend thinking about bad memories.
Talk to someone about it
Talking to a trusted friend or family member can help. Their advice, opinions, and similar stories can give you a different perspective on things and help you forget what you don't want to remember.
By following all of these tips, you can erase bad memories from your memory and regain complete control over your life.
It makes no sense to keep doing the same and wait for different results.
(c) Albert Einstein
How many times have you heard before you start something new, you need to free yourself from the old?
And you are probably looking for ways, ?!
Which, in principle, sounds logical.
Well, what kind of mistress, when moving to a new apartment, drags broken furniture or battered dishes along with her ...
We do not call for abandoning your past or forget about it.
This is our life, our experience, without it we would not have become what we are now.
However, I think you will agree that the past is in the past.
But I would also like to understand WHY is it so!
Let's see ...
1. Increasing the level of energy in your life
We live in the present, and all our energy is also in the present, in the “here and now”. Better fill with strength and awareness every moment you live than it is fruitless to suffer for the past.
Redirecting attention from the past to the present will allow increase the amount of energy in your body, actions, strength and depth of feelings.
They will help you learn to be in the present. With their help, you will change your life for the better.
2. The correct direction of travel to your goal
Looking only at the past is like walking backwards on the road: nothing is visible except their old footprints.
The goal sometimes may not be realized only because, in fact, you go to it just out of an old habit, and you yourself have long outgrown it and lost interest in it.
What's ahead is much more interesting! It's about time stop living in the past... Follow the road of your life, staying in the present and looking to the future and you will see many interesting forks and exciting perspectives!
3. Getting out of old relationship scenarios
Many people due to traumatic events in their past get hung up on what was... They accept old images of relationships and reproduce them over and over again: "I always meet alcoholic men", "I am unlucky in love", "I am betrayed", "I come across evil bosses."
Yes, perhaps this has happened more than once in your life, but it does does not mean that you are doomed to such a development of events until the end of life.
This is the case when the burden of the past is a bad advisor. Can use it only as an experience for introspection: “What am I doing to get into such situations, and how to change it”, but certainly not to be taken as a basis for a life scenario.
Thanks to the technique I teach in this seminar, you will rewrite old destructive scenarios of your life with new ones that are effective and successful.
You will learn, how to let go of the past and live in the position of a strong, rich, creative, trusting person and the world.
4. A new opinion about yourself, your capabilities and implementation
Limiting beliefs from the past, shaped by our environment and ourselves, "clip our wings." And only we ourselves can straighten them again!
“Because the very first point is your interpretation of reality... A lot depends on how you look at things, how you see yourself, your place in life, what you would do, where you should move.
This is the positive side because much depends on you - on who you think you are how you see yourself, what place in life you have defined for yourself.
Of the minuses, there is a huge group of people who own outdated information, an outdated image of you. And, focusing on their opinion, we belittle ourselves over and over again... That “here you didn’t do it” is criticism both from the outside and often yourself. And this humiliation begins, that "I am nobody, and there is no way to call me."
That is, it is important believe that I am strong, that I can, that I really have the ability, accept that I am not like them. "
We cannot accept ourselves or other people due to the fact that our ideas interfere with "Emotional burden" from the past.
For example, someone does not forgive his parents children's grievances. Either he cannot free himself from feelings of guilt for an act that happened years ago.
Because of this, we react to new events in the old way - like "offended children", or "guilty debtors before everyone."
Maybe it's time stop this vicious circle and stop living in the past?
“When there is some serious conflict - divorce, division of property, some kind of battle - we direct all our attention there. During this time between us such powerful energy ropes are pulled... Then we disagree with the person, we may not communicate with him, but the ropes remain. He has some of this energy left.
And now they return to our lives so that we took this energy... For the most part, they show - this is a cast from the past. You communicated with that person, being completely different... And now you perceive everything differently, treat it differently.
You can once again, with new eyes, with your new consciousness, look at the old situation, understand that you now treat her differently that, perhaps, it is no longer worth to conflict with a person. "
6. Ability to endure pain with dignity and move on
Pain and loss something important inevitable in human destiny... We part with youthful illusions, say goodbye to significant people, change jobs, experience disappointment in the best feelings, sometimes lose health and experience the death of loved ones.
it normal stages of life, and not a single person is immune from this.
Another question is how we deal with this ... You can cherish your pain for years, endlessly feeling sorry for yourself and picking out the wound. And you can accept what happened as a fact, live and let go of these emotions. And use the crisis as a point of personal and spiritual growth.
But of course, in any case, you first need to heal your pain. For this there is a wonderful meditation "Sending Support to Ourselves in the Past." You will send yourself to the past energy of love you can heal any trauma, cope with a difficult situation.
7. Effective life and implementation in a New Energy environment
“Many old methods that worked over and over again, in business, in life - don't work now, or work with some amendments.
This trend continues, and will continue until a new course, a new direction, a new sensation is developed. ... Until you decide for sure, you will not make small amendments even in those areas that worked for you 100% before.
It is not a self-doubt, it is not a doubt that the path is right.
You just check the chips, tools to see if they work now, and make some changes ".
Accompanying webinar by Alena Starovoitova from 10/21/2012
It turns out that to be happily and safely realized in the current energies, you need to stop living in the past. Say goodbye to old ways of doing things, and start your creative search for new ones!
Illusions create constraints that reduce the number of options for solving problems and make many of our intentions unrealizable.
Find out what will help broaden your perspective.
Why it is worth leaving the past behind, we figured it out.
Surely, after reading this material, you have a new question: How to do it))
Which is quite justified: new information and answers raise new questions.
Releasing the Past Meditation
I wish you to make full use of the experience of your past, and live happily in the present!
Alena Starovoitova & Ulyana Radnaya
P.S. An effective way to free yourself from the negative influence of the past on your present life. Write a new, successful and happy scenario for your life!
