Home Potato I helped him more than once. “My friend was a bounty hunter. I helped him a couple of times. ● The fine line between stress and burnout

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I helped him more than once. “My friend was a bounty hunter. I helped him a couple of times. ● The fine line between stress and burnout

Burnout is a regular visitor in my life, and I am no longer intimidated by it. Over time, I learned to recognize his early signals and how to deal with it - and this is what I learned:

● The fine line between stress and burnout

Burnout occurs when you are under prolonged stress. People can often respond to short bursts of pressure without too much trouble. But when this pressure continues day after day without interruption, stress turns into burnout. It's important to note that you can be stressed, but not burn out. When burnout begins, you feel empty, unmotivated, and see no hope for positive change. Burnout is when you start to feel cynical or ineffective.

● You cannot recognize burnout when it is directly in front of you.

Burnout doesn't have to look extreme. You can keep working, but without enthusiasm and automatically. The most common sign of burnout is when you lack interest in work or life. Some of the main warning signals:

Lack of energy
Lack of sleep
Lack of appetite
Inability to concentrate
Physical and emotional exhaustion
Low or no motivation
Forgetfulness
Exacerbation of chronic diseases
Anxiety
Anger

By the way, be careful, there is no official diagnosis of burnout, unlike depression, which is a well-researched condition.

● Burnout is not always the result of overwork

Keep in mind that burnout isn't just due to significant demands in your work life. This can happen in other situations as well. For example, when you feel underappreciated and ignored. Therefore, burnout can occur when we give up on expectations.

● Create "boundaries" in your schedule

Our days can be filled with work, meetings, and other commitments. Plan your breaks! You do not need to catch up with everything, then you want to catch up, sometimes breaks can bring you to your senses.

● Adopt a rejection strategy

Burnout people often feel like they have to "do it all." If you want to avoid this condition, start looking for ways to reduce stress. One of them is the ability to use the wonderful three-letter word: NO. It can be difficult at first, then look for opportunities to delegate tasks to other people, shift priorities and do not take too much on yourself.

● Take time to "disconnect"

Don't torment yourself with the illusion that you always have to move in order to make progress. Sometimes calmness and relaxation is exactly what your body and mind need. Take time to recharge by unplugging everything. These breaks can give you the energy you need to stay productive. Learn to temporarily disconnect from gadgets and the outside world! It is in a state of calmness and detachment that you will quickly analyze yourself and see signs of possible burnout. And, of course, it's your choice how to proceed!

The famous Herb Dean travels all over the world to do what he has been doing all his life - to make sure that there are a minimum of casualties in fights without rules. This time the American rushed to Russia, where he served at the ACB 86 tournament. Lenta.ru met with the one who was at the origins of MMA.

“The guys were hiding something in their gloves. Anything sharp or hard "

A joke question in the end. What can you say about judging the fight between Apollo Creed and Ivan Drago? Have you watched the film?

When I was a boy, we watched a kung fu movie. The guys played karate, and I always wanted to learn how to fight for real. My father had friends who were engaged in this business - martial arts. This is how I began my studies.

How hard is it to judge battles, weighed down by conflict and other things?

Kung Fu. It was fun. And when I was 15, a friend of mine started boxing. It fascinated me - I began to go to the gym with him, to master boxing. By the age of 18, he had already begun to practice kickboxing. Full contact. And later, when he had already matured, he began to practice judo, jiu-jitsu.

That is, you judged the fight, and then found out that it was negotiated?

Bruce Lee, yes. But, of course, Royce Gracie, you know that? (The pioneer of MMA, whose success began the fashion for using Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu for wrestling on the ground - approx. "Lenta.ru".)

I judge the fight and think to myself: “You know what? These guys don't fight fair. " Well, I continue to share my thoughts, transfer this information to the top. It's okay for pro-wrestling. And in our country this cannot be allowed.

As for Fedor's fights in PRIDE, the competitive principle, in my opinion, was fully observed there. I saw nothing suspicious about them. Plus, guys, it's Chale Sonnen! Chale is a merry fellow. I have a story about him. I'm judging, then, the fight with Chale. The guy used a choke on him, and it seemed to me that the technique did not work. But Chale groaned and pretended to gasp - he was ahead by points. The fighters were in a recumbent position, and I wanted to place them. In the corner of his opponent they shouted: "Let him go, let him go!" There was very little left until the end of the match, and while standing there were chances to change something, to fight. But the guy stubbornly choked Chale with a grip that never worked. In the end, after the gong, Chale comes up to me with a smile and says that he was pretending all this time. “I faked that strangulation,” Chale said, his face so cheerful. He was really glad that his prank was a success.

What exactly did you start with?

My job is to abstract from sensations. You need to focus on what is really happening. Here and now. This is part of the job. You do not need to get involved in all these stories, you need to rely only on facts.

You started martial arts at the age of nine. Tell us what inspired you?

That's for sure. He should have done this much earlier. And the referee himself did not work well. I would send this guy for further training, that's for sure (laughs).

Nikolay Kostyukov

Pavel Petrovich was briefly present at the conversation between his brother and the manager, a tall and thin man with a sweet consumptive voice and rogue eyes, who answered all Nikolai Petrovich's remarks: "Have mercy, sir, a well-known business," and tried to present the peasants as drunkards and thieves. The farm, recently rebuilt in a new way, creaked like an unlubricated wheel, cracked like homemade furniture made of raw wood. Nikolai Petrovich was not discouraged, but often sighed and thought: he felt that business would not work without money, and almost all of his money had gone. Arkady told the truth: Pavel Petrovich helped his brother more than once; more than once, seeing how he fought and racked his brains, thinking of how to dodge, Pavel Petrovich slowly approached the window and, thrusting his hands into his pockets, muttered through his teeth: "Mais je puis vous donner de l" argent "- and gave he had no money; but that day he himself had nothing, and he preferred to leave. Household squabbles made him bored; moreover, it constantly seemed to him that Nikolai Petrovich, in spite of all his zeal and diligence, was not so taken to work as He would not have been able to point out where Nikolai Petrovich was actually mistaken. “My brother is not quite practical,” he reasoned to himself, “they are deceiving him.” Nikolai Petrovich, on the contrary, had a high opinion of the practicality of Pavel Petrovich and always asked his advice. “I am a soft, weak man, spent my century in the wilderness,” he used to say, “and it’s not for nothing that you lived with people so much, you know them well: you have an eagle’s eyes.” Pavel Petrovich, in response to these words, only turned away, but did not discourage his brother. Leaving Nikolai Petrovich in his study, he set off down the corridor separating the front of the house from the back, and, having come up to the low door, stopped in thought, pulled his mustache and knocked on it. - Who's there? Come in, ”came Fenichka's voice. “It's me,” said Pavel Petrovich and opened the door. Fenichka jumped up from the chair in which she had sat down with her child, and, handing him over to the girl's arms, who at once carried him out of the room, hastily straightened her kerchief. “Excuse me if I interfered,” Pavel Petrovich began, without looking at her, “I just wanted to ask you ... today, it seems, they are sending to the city ... tell me to buy green tea for me.” "Yes, sir," answered Fenichka, "how much will you order to buy?" - Yes, half a pound will be enough, I suppose. And here, I see, you have a change, ”he added, casting a quick glance around him, which also slid over Fenichka’s face. “Here are the curtains,” he said, seeing that she did not understand him. - Yes, curtains; Nikolai Petrovich granted them to us; they've been hanged long ago. - Yes, and I have not been with you for a long time. Now you're very good here. "By the grace of Nikolai Petrovich," whispered Fenechka. "Are you better here than in the old outhouse?" - Pavel Petrovich asked politely, but without the slightest smile. “Of course it's better, sir. - Who has been put in your place now? - Now there are laundresses.- Oh! Pavel Petrovich fell silent. "Now she will leave," thought Fenichka, but he did not leave, and she stood in front of him rooted to the spot; fingering weakly with his fingers. - Why did you tell your little one to take it out? - Pavel Petrovich finally spoke up. - I love children: show me it. Fenichka blushed all over with embarrassment and joy. She was afraid of Pavel Petrovich: he almost never spoke to her. “Dunyasha,” she called, “bring Mitya (Fenechka told everyone in the house). Otherwise wait a minute; he needs to put on a dress. Fenichka went to the door. “It’s all the same,” Pavel Petrovich remarked. "I will now," answered Fenichka, and quickly went out. Pavel Petrovich was left alone and this time looked around with particular attention. The small, low room he was in was very clean and comfortable. It smelled of freshly painted floors, chamomile and lemon balm. Along the walls were chairs with lyre-shaped backs; they were bought by a deceased general in Poland, during a campaign; in one corner stood a crib under a muslin canopy, next to a wrought-iron chest with a round lid. In the opposite corner a lamp burned in front of a large dark image of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker; a tiny porcelain egg on a red ribbon hung on the saint's chest, attached to the radiance; on the windows, jars of last year's jam, carefully tied, shone with green light; on their paper covers, Fenichka herself wrote in large letters: "kyrudovnik"; Nikolai Petrovich especially loved this jam. A cage with a short-tailed siskin hung from the ceiling on a long cord; he chirped and jumped incessantly, and the cage incessantly swayed and trembled: the hemp seeds fell to the floor with a light thud. In the pier, above a small chest of drawers, hung rather poor photographic portraits of Nikolai Petrovich in different positions, made by a visiting artist; right there hung a photograph of Fenichka herself, which was completely unsuccessful: some eyeless face was smiling intensely in a dark frame — nothing else could be made out; and over Fenechka, Ermolov, in a burka, was frowning menacingly at the distant Caucasus mountains, from under a silk shoe for pins that fell on his forehead. Five minutes passed; rustling and whispering was heard in the next room. Pavel Petrovich took from the chest of drawers a greasy book, a scattered volume Streltsov Masalsky, turned a few pages ... The door opened and Fenichka entered with Mitya in her arms. She put on a red shirt with a braid on the collar, combed his hair and wiped his face: he breathed heavily, tugged at his whole body and twitched his little hands, as all healthy children do; but the dandy shirt apparently had an effect on him: an expression of pleasure was reflected in his entire plump figure. Fenichka tidied up her hair too, and put on a better kerchief, but she could have stayed as she was. Indeed, is there anything in the world more captivating than a beautiful young mother with a healthy child in her arms? "What a butuz," Pavel Petrovich said condescendingly and tickled Mitya's double chin with the end of a long nail on his index finger; the child stared at the siskin and laughed. “This is uncle,” said Fenechka, bending her face towards him and shaking it slightly, while Dunyasha quietly put a lighted smoking candle on the window, placing a penny under it. - How many months are he? - Pavel Petrovich asked. - Six months; soon the seventh will go, on the eleventh. - Isn't it the eighth, Fedosya Nikolaevna? Dunyasha intervened, not without timidity. - No, seventh; as you can! The child laughed again, stared at the chest and suddenly grabbed his mother with all his hands by the nose and lips. “A balovnik,” said Fenechka, without moving her face from his fingers. “He looks like a brother,” Pavel Petrovich remarked. "Who should he be like?" Thought Fenechka. “Yes,” Pavel Petrovich continued, as if speaking to himself, “there is an undeniable resemblance. He looked attentively, almost sadly at Fenechka. “This is Uncle,” she repeated, already in a whisper. - Oh! Paul! that's where you are! - suddenly came the voice of Nikolai Petrovich. Pavel Petrovich hastily turned around and frowned; but his brother looked at him so joyfully, with such gratitude that he could not help but smile back at him. `` You have a nice little boy, '' he said, and looked at his watch, `` and I turned in here about tea ... And, assuming an indifferent expression, Pavel Petrovich immediately left the room. - Did you come in by yourself? Nikolai Petrovich asked Fenechka. - Sami, sir; knocked and entered. - Well, and Arkasha has not been with you again? - I wasn’t. Shouldn't I go into the wing, Nikolai Petrovich?- Why is that? - I think it will not be better for the first time. "N ... no," Nikolai Petrovich stammered and rubbed his forehead. “You should have done it first ... Hello, bubble,” he said with sudden animation and, approaching the child, kissed him on the cheek; then he bent down a little and put his lips to Fenichka’s hand, which was white as milk on Mitya’s red shirt. - Nikolai Petrovich! what are you? - She stammered and lowered her eyes, then quietly raised them ... The expression of her eyes was charming when she looked, as it were, from under her brows and laughed tenderly and a little stupidly. Nikolai Petrovich met Fenechka in the following way. Once, three years ago, he had to spend the night at an inn in a remote district town. He was pleasantly struck by the cleanliness of the room assigned to him, the freshness of the bed linen. "Isn't the mistress German here?" - it came to him; but the hostess turned out to be a Russian woman of about fifty, neatly dressed, with a handsome, intelligent face and a grave speech. He got into conversation with her over tea; he liked her very much. Nikolai Petrovich at that time had just moved to his new estate and, not wanting to keep serfs with him, was looking for hired workers; the hostess, for her part, complained about the small number of people passing through the city, about hard times; he invited her to enter his house as a housekeeper; she agreed. Her husband died long ago, leaving her only one daughter, Fenechka. Two weeks later, Arina Savishna (that was the name of the new housekeeper) arrived with her daughter in Maryino and settled in the outhouse. The choice of Nikolai Petrovich turned out to be successful, Arina brought order to the house. No one spoke of Fenichka, who was then already seventeen years old, and rarely saw her: she lived quietly, modestly, and only on Sundays did Nikolai Petrovich notice in the parish church, somewhere on the sidelines, the thin profile of her white face. More than a year passed in this way. One morning Arina appeared in his study and, as usual, bowing deeply, asked him if he could help her daughter, who had a spark from the stove in her eye. Nikolai Petrovich, like all couch potatoes, was engaged in treatment and even prescribed a homeopathic first-aid kit. He immediately ordered Arina to bring the patient. Learning that the master was calling her, Fenechka became very frightened, but she followed her mother. Nikolai Petrovich led her to the window and took her by the head with both hands. After taking a good look at her reddened and inflamed eye, he prescribed a lotion for her, which he immediately made up himself, and, tearing his handkerchief to pieces, showed her how to soak it. Fenichka listened to him and wanted to go out. "Kiss the master's hand, you silly one," Arina told her. Nikolai Petrovich did not give her his hand and, embarrassed, kissed her bowed head, in the parting. Fenechkin's eye soon recovered, but the impression she made on Nikolai Petrovich did not pass quickly. He all dreamed of this clean, gentle, fearfully raised face; he felt that soft hair under the palms of his hands, saw those innocent, slightly parted lips, because of which pearl teeth gleamed wetly in the sun. He began to look at her with great attention in church, tried to speak to her. At first she was shy of him, and one day, before evening, meeting him on a narrow path laid by pedestrians through a rye field, she went into high, dense rye, overgrown with wormwood and cornflowers, so as not to catch his eye. He saw her head through the golden netting of ears, from where she peered out like an animal, and tenderly shouted to her: - Hello, Fenichka! I do not bite. “Hello,” she whispered, not leaving her ambush. Little by little she began to get used to him, but she was still shy in his presence, when suddenly her mother, Arina, died of cholera. Where could Fenichka go? She inherited from her mother a love of order, discretion and gravity; but she was so young, so alone; Nikolai Petrovich himself was so kind and modest ... There is nothing else to say ... - So your brother came in to see you? Nikolai Petrovich asked her. - Knocked and entered?- Yes, sir. - Well, that's good. Let me rock Mitya. And Nikolai Petrovich began to throw him almost to the very ceiling, to the great delight of the baby and to the considerable anxiety of his mother, who at every takeoff stretched out her hands to his bare legs. And Pavel Petrovich returned to his elegant office, pasted over the walls with beautiful wild-colored wallpaper, with weapons hung on a motley Persian carpet, with walnut furniture upholstered in a dark green trip, with a renaissance library

A man may say, “I have a terrible blockage at work; I recently experienced a breakup in a serious relationship, which was a big blow for me; the divorce of my parents left an indelible mark on my soul and brought a bunch of new troubles; now I need to focus on my career; I cannot start a relationship until everything in my life is going to work out; as soon as my situation improves, I will leave my wife, girlfriend, lousy job; I'm awfully busy. "

It's easier for us to jump out of the window than to say, "You don't suit me." We are one hundred percent sure that in this case you will kill us or yourself, or both of us, or, even worse, start crying and screaming. Even if we don't talk about it, we are clearly showing you our attitude. Stop making excuses for us, our actions speak for themselves: you just don't like you.

1. He doesn't like you that much since he doesn't ask you out on a date.

Because if he likes you, trust me, he will definitely make an appointment for you.

1. Excuse Option: He may not want to ruin our friendship

I hate to tell you about this, but this excuse does not hold water. Unfortunately, throughout the history of mankind, this excuse has never been used by those who really meant it. If we really care about a woman, we cannot bring ourselves to stop - we want more. And please don't tell me he's just "afraid." The only thing he is afraid of - and I affirm this, having sincere sympathy for you - is to admit that you are not attracted to him at all.

2. Option to justify: Probably, he hesitates to take the first step

You can hint to a man that you have sympathy for him, but you should not help him ask you out on a date. Again, dear ladies: the fact that you smile and playfully wink at him will be enough.

3. Option to justify: Maybe he doesn't want to rush things.

If a man really likes you, but there are deeply personal reasons why he does not want to rush things, he will immediately tell you about it. He will not leave you in the dark, as he needs confidence that you will not be disappointed and will not disappear from his life.

4. Excuse like "But he gave me his phone number"

Don't let him use cheap tricks to get you to ask him out on a date. If you are interested in a man, he will take all the trouble on himself. It sounds a little old-fashioned, but when a man likes a woman, he asks her out on a date.

5. Justification like "Perhaps he forgot about me"

Be sure you made an impression on him. Now leave it as it is. If he likes you, he will remember you even after the tsunami, flood or defeat of the Russian national team in the next match. If he forgot about you, do not waste time on him. Do you know why? Because you are great.

Any excuse essentially means that he is of little interest to you. Men are not afraid to "destroy friendships."
Don't fall for his tricks and don't ask him out on a date. If he likes you, he will invite you.
If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
“Hey, let's meet at such and such a party / in some bar / at a friend’s house” is not an invitation to date. Even if you live in New York.
The man remembers well if he liked you when he met, so hang up.
You are good enough to be asked out on a date.

2. He doesn't like you that much if he doesn't call you.

Men know how to use the telephone

6. Justification like "But he's on the road so often"

Take a note: the man who is interested in you wants to spend time with you. And he'll be content with five phone calls only if he can't make it to the plane to rush to you.

7. Justification like "But his head is busy with completely different things"

The most important question here is, "Is it okay if a man forgot to call me?" I answer: "No." Unless he needs to rush someone to the hospital or someone has stolen his Ferrari. He should never forget that he promised to call you. If I really like you, I will never forget about you. Aren't you expecting a guy who would rather forget about everything that happened in his life than forget about you?

8. Justification like "He is not saying what he really thinks"

Here's the problem: At the end of a date or phone call, many men tell you what they think you would like to hear. They think it's better than nothing. So if the guy you are dating doesn't call you despite all his promises, is it worth getting hung up on him? After all, you need a man who can at least keep his word.

9. "But he's very busy" excuse

And now I'm going to make an outrageous, harsh and categorical statement regarding the relationship between a man and a woman: the word "busy" is complete nonsense, it is usually used by donkeys. The word "busy" in one gulp can destroy any relationship. Extreme "busyness" may seem like a compelling excuse, but in reality, there is always a man behind this concept who was not interested in calling you. Remember, men always have time to get what they want.

10. One hundred percent of the polled representatives of the stronger sex said: they will always find a moment to call a woman who they really like.

If he doesn't call you, then he doesn't think about you.
If he makes promises and then lets you down on little things, rest assured that the same will happen when it comes to bigger things. Keep that in mind, and keep in mind that this guy won't have a hard time disappointing you.
You should not build a relationship with someone who is not able to keep his word.
If he is not willing to make the slightest effort to calm you down and smooth over the brewing conflicts in your relationship, then he simply does not respect your feelings and needs.
Busy is the same as donkey. And the "donkey" is the same as the guy you are dating.
You deserve to be fucking called.

3. He doesn't like you that much if he doesn't acknowledge the fact that you are dating.

Spending time together doesn't mean dating.

11. Justification like "He just went through a painful breakup."

He may be one of your closest friends, but as a man, he is not that infatuated with you. Beware of the word friend. It is often used by men or women who are in love with these men to justify their most swinish behavior. When choosing friends, I prefer people who don't upset me.

12. "But we are really dating" excuse

Men, like women, strive to find a sense of security and safety when they see a relationship getting serious. One common way to do this is to claim your loved one. A man who is truly passionate about you will want you to belong to him completely. What's wrong with that, girls?

13. "This is better than nothing" excuse

Let me remind you: you need a man who wants you, calls you regularly and makes you feel like the sexiest and most desirable woman in the world. He longs to see you more and more often, because each time his feeling grows stronger, growing from sympathy into true love. A relationship in which you meet with a man once every two weeks or once a month, without feeling either love or sympathy on his part, can last a day, or a week, or a month. But can they last a lifetime?

14. One hundred percent of the men surveyed said that fear of serious relationships never deterred them from starting a new romance. One young man even remarked: "The fear of serious relationships is one of the myths of the big city." And another guy said, "This is what we say to girls that we don't really like very much."

Men talk about their feelings, even if you refuse to listen or do not believe their confessions. “I'm not ready for a serious relationship” means “I'm not ready for a serious relationship with you"Or" I'm not sure that you are the woman that I need. " (I am sorry.)
"Better than nothing" shouldn't suit you.
If you do not understand what is happening in your relationship, then there is nothing wrong with slowing down and asking him a couple of questions.
Does it smell like uncertainty? Don't expect good things.
There is one guy in the world who wants to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Stop fooling around, go find him.

4. He doesn't like you that much if he doesn't want to have sex with you.

If a man likes a woman, he always wants to touch her.

Dear ladies, you have already met and will meet a great many men. I hate to tell you this, but some of these men will simply decide that you are not their type. And none of those men who don't like you will ever tell you about it. And he will say that ... he is afraid, worried, languishing with fatigue, experiencing pain from a broken leg, suffering from a cold, afraid (again). But the truth, simple, cruel and bitter, is clear as broad daylight: you do not attract him, and he does not want to hurt you.

15. Justification like "He is afraid that he will hurt again"

Is he afraid? Yes, he is afraid of offending you. This is why he did not clarify the situation with your relationship in any way. Perhaps he is even trying to force himself to feel at least something for you, talking about his love and that he does not want to lose you, but he could just as well sign in your diary. He loves you as a friend. If he loved you as a woman, he would not be able to control himself and would have a whirlwind romance with you, despite all the fears and unpleasant memories.

16. Justification like "I'm driving him so crazy that he doesn't show any interest."

Of course, many people have suffered in the past, and now they are afraid of serious relationships. But you know what? If a man really likes you, nothing will stop him from reaching you, even the fear of a serious relationship. If he has really big problems about it, he can go for goofy treatment, but he will never keep you in the dark.

17. "But this is so great" excuse

It used to be that a woman refuses to have sex when she wants to gain power over a man. It seems that the representatives of the stronger sex have also learned to use it. If a guy, lying on the couch with you, happily devours cookies and watches a movie (and at the same time is not gay), then you simply do not attract him.

18. Justification like "He finds a bunch of explanations for everything"

You can take his excuses if you like, but first ask yourself a couple of questions. Are you satisfied with this relationship? The most important thing here is whether you want to feel that way, perhaps for the rest of your life? Sex is also one of the greatest pleasures a person can experience. Therefore, it is at least strange when the person with whom you are dating prevents you from getting this pleasure.

19. Remember:

People are constantly talking about who they really are. If a man tells you that monogamy is not for him, then there is no reason not to believe him.
Communication is great. But if communication is combined with sex, it's even better. Call a spade a spade, or rather, call a friend a friend. And find yourself a friend who can't resist touching you.
If you have low self-esteem, then you will have to spend more time raising it than looking for a new boyfriend. Therefore, prioritize according to your needs.
If you are attracted by the thought of a thousand and one nights spent in the arms (and only) of some man, then get yourself a puppy.
Hot little thing, somewhere there is a man who really wants to make love to you.

5. He doesn't like you that much if he sleeps with another woman.

There is no truly compelling excuse for cheating.

Whatever problems darken your relationship, they don't give him the right to make love to another woman. Don't ask what you are to blame. Don't take the blame on yourself. And if he tells you that it happened by accident, then remember: cheating is never accidental. This is not an accident like "I stumbled, and I was sucked in by a swamp named" Treason "". He planned and brought it to life, fully aware that it could end your relationship. Remember: if he sleeps with another woman without your permission and approval, then he behaves not just like a man who is not so much attracted to you, but like a man who is not interested in you at all.

20. Justification like "He has no excuse, and he knows about it"

Cheating is bad. And the inability to explain why you cheated on a person is even worse. If one red flag isn't enough for you, how about two? Don't date men who don't know why they did this or that thing.

21. "But I got fat" excuse

I'm totally convinced that you need to lose 90 kg in the form of your worthless boyfriend, and not the twenty kilograms that he talks about. He cheated on you and called you fat. How much humiliation can a person endure? If something in your relationship does not suit him, then he should talk about it with you, instead of looking for consolation in the vagina of a stranger. Also, think about how he'll react if you get pregnant, get old, or get a few wrinkles? Or if you dye your hair a color he doesn't like? Get rid of this loser immediately, or I myself will come to your house and throw him out of there.

22. "He needs more sex than me" excuse

There is no excuse that he is cheating on you. Point. There are many ways to solve this rather common problem, which arises from the difference in sexual appetites. As a rule, people start by talking frankly about this topic, and everyone agrees to do everything in their power to make their partner happy. In this case, it is not at all necessary to jump into bed with someone else!

23. "But he at least knew her" excuse

I explain in other words: it doesn't matter if he loves you or not. He made it clear to you what his relationship to your romance is. He went on about his feelings and arranged everything in such a way as to be alone with another woman, kiss her, take off her clothes and do everything else that usually happens when two adults have sex. Can you continue to love him after this?

24. One hundred percent of the men surveyed reported that they had never made love to a woman by pure chance. (But many of them wanted to know how such randomness occurs and what needs to be done to take advantage of it.)

There is no excuse for treason. Let me repeat: there is no excuse for cheating. Now tell it yourself: there is no excuse for cheating.
The only thing that you are responsible for in the moral fall of another person is your own feelings.
Treason is treason. It does not matter with whom he cheated on you and how many times it happened.
It becomes easier to change each time. It is difficult only the first time when you feel remorse and guilt for not justifying the trust of another person.
Cheaters are never happy. (Because they are all scoundrels.)
The unfaithful man is first of all cheating on himself, since he cannot build a normal relationship with you.

6. He doesn't like you that much if he only wants to see you when he is drunk.

If he likes you, he will be eager to see you when his brain is not clouded by alcohol fumes. If your clown wears a red nose every time it comes to intimacy, then this suggests that there are serious problems in your relationship.

25. "But I like it when he's drunk" excuse

If, sitting in a bar, he is drunk and says something like: "Baby, you are so beautiful!" and at the same time hugs you a little tighter than necessary, then it's high time to learn something: you can't believe everything that a man says when he is drunk. And listen to the ex-bad guy: “bad guys” are called bad because they have a lot of troubles, have no self-esteem, and besides, they absolutely do not believe in sincere love relationships, but very often they dress cool and ride cool wheelbarrows. Do you really need this one?

26. Justification like "At least he drinks not the strongest drinks"

Don't be fooled. A guy who doesn't fall off his feet or pee in his pants from drinking shouldn't get away with quietly turning off his brains in a different, easier way every time you're together. It's still intoxication, it's still a desire to avoid responsibility, and it's still not too good for you.

27. Remember:

His words mean nothing if he uttered them while intoxicated. “I love you,” or the like, spoken under the influence of any drink stronger than grape juice has no effect in court or in real life.
Drinking alcohol and drugs is not the path to the innermost feelings of a person. Otherwise, people would not have smashed empty beer bottles on their heads and tried to touch the flame of the fire to find out if they felt something or not.
If he wants to see you, communicate with you, have sex with you only when he is tipsy, this is not love, this is sport.
Bad guys are called bad guys for a reason.
You deserve the kind of man who doesn't need to pump up to spend time with you.

7. He doesn't like you that much if he doesn't want to marry you.

Love heals commitment mania

Every one of your ex-men who told you they didn't want to get married, or don't believe in marriage, or have doubts about marriage, will someday be bound by sacred ties. Not with you. Because he is not talking about not wanting to get married at all. He talks about not wanting to marry you.

28. Justification like "It's very complicated now."

If you focus on the state of your finances when choosing the time for your wedding, this auspicious period will never come. If your boyfriend uses lack of money as an excuse not to marry you, then your relationship is in danger, not his bank account.

29. Excuse like "But he's all like himself"

If you have to sit and think about how to start a conversation about marriage with a person with whom you have had a close relationship for quite some time, then this is an alarming signal. Immediately call him in for a frank conversation and sort things out. Then, as soon as you are ready, go in search of a person whose entire thoughts will be occupied with how you feel.

30. A dilemma like "Is this really an excuse not to get married?"

Marriage is a tradition that we inherited from previous generations, which is why marriage has so many opponents. Let it be so: if a man is categorically against marriage, and you are in favor with both hands, then please make sure that behind his unwillingness to marry lies only a dislike for the very institution of marriage, and not any other feelings or their absence.

31. "I'm just not ready yet" excuse

I hate to tell you about this, but he does not want to rush for just one reason: he is still not sure that you are the one.

32. "He has seen enough other failed marriages" excuse

For a worthy man, meeting a woman with whom he wants to share his life always becomes a real event. And, probably, if he realizes that this is exactly the woman, he will not immediately inform her that the mere thought of registering their relationship disgusts him.

33. One hundred percent of the men surveyed admitted that they would no doubt offer a hand and a heart to a woman if they were completely sure that it was she who was the love of their life. One representative of the stronger sex said: "What kind of an idiot you have to be not to marry the woman you love?"

“Doesn't want to marry” and “Doesn't want to marry me” are two different things. Make sure that you have correctly identified which category your chosen one belongs to.
If you have opposing views of marriage, there are likely to be other issues that will lead to disagreements. It's time to make a problem list.
If nothing changes in your relationship, then what are you waiting for?
Somewhere on earth there is a man who wants to marry you.

8. He doesn't like you that much if he dumped you.

“I don’t want to be with you” still means exactly that

34. "He needs me" excuse

Do not be satisfied that he is bored without you. He should be bored. You are so unique. And yet he was and remains the person who left you. Remember, there is only one reason he may be bored remembering you: he thinks he doesn't want to spend the day with you.

35. Justification like "After such a decision is much easier"

If he meets you, calls you out, dumps you and continues to sleep with you, which, in fact, relieves him of any responsibility for your feelings for him. There is one thing a young man will never do if he cannot imagine his life without you: he will never leave you. The only way for you to know if you love yourself is to get rid of it as quickly as possible.

36. Excuse like "But everyone does it"

Stop holding on to his cock, get dressed and quickly head home to your best friend. And don't look for an excuse to stay with him. And do not think that all this crazy passion will inevitably lead to the fact that you will be together again. Oh yeah, having sex after a breakup isn't bad at all, because it's great to sleep with someone you know. It's also great to sleep with someone you have strong feelings for. This combination is what makes sex after a breakup so bright. But now you know that because of this, real confusion arises in your head and you start to feel terrible. Face it: you are a woman, and women do not know how to separate love and sex. And don't make these mistakes again. Got it? He doesn't like you that much. He likes a very bad idea much better, which is disguised as a very good idea, namely sex after a breakup. Like this.

37. Excuse like "But then he wants to come back"

Unfortunately, after you break up, your boyfriend starts looking for something better. And when he does not succeed, he is seized by loneliness and he returns "home". He doesn't seem to like you very much. He just really doesn't like being alone.

38. Justification like "I refuse to accept the fact that he left me"

I'm sorry he left you. Trying to get him back over and over again, you lead your ex-boyfriend to the thought, "What did I even find in this nutty bitch?" Remember one simple tip, ladies: Always be on top. Never go crazy. Well, well, in fact, this is not even one, but two whole tips. But trust me, you will never regret listening to them. At the very least, this will save you from the unpleasant memories of how you cut his clothes to pieces or threw out all the photos with him.

39. Remember:

You can't prevent a breakup by talking. Discussions won't help here. The severance of relations is a final decision and cannot be appealed.
Having sex after a breakup doesn't mean you're back together.
Stop communicating with him. Let him miss you.
You don't need to remind him how great you are.
He himself can take care of his cat.
"Gorgeous woman" will never torment his answering machine.
Somewhere a young man is waiting for you who will be just happy that you have not gotten back to your horribly nasty ex-boyfriend.

9. He doesn't like you that much if he just took it and disappeared

Sometimes I have to put an end to myself.

Well, everything is very clear here. He made you understand that you are so not his type that he did not even bother to leave you at least some news about himself. The only thing you have to take away from this love story is the fact that he decided to leave you. And he didn't have the courage to tell you about it, looking into your eyes. Case is closed.

40. "Maybe he died" excuse

There is nothing worse than not getting an answer from your loved one. But the problem is that the lack of an answer is the answer for you. Perhaps he did not write a farewell letter, but his silence speaks more clearly: "I don't like you." The only reason you should write to him again is if you want to get an explicit rejection, now in verbal form. Have you forgotten? You are too busy with your fans and you don't have time for such nonsense.

41. Excuse like "So, it turns out, I can't even quarrel with him for the last time?"

At first, it may seem that it will make you feel better if you call him and make a scandal. You may feel like you've let it get out of the water. But trust me, nothing you want to tell him will be a revelation to him. And you already have something to spend your time on.

42. "But I just want an answer" excuse

Do you deserve to find out what really happened? Undoubtedly. I can tell you what happened: you met a terrible person. The easiest way to correct this mistake is to draw certain conclusions for yourself, move on and continue to be more choosy in choosing a partner. Do it all quickly, without wasting a minute of your precious time.

43. One hundred percent of the male respondents who “disappeared” from the woman's field of vision said they were fully aware that they had done something terrible, and no phone calls or late conversations would make them change their minds.

He may actually be in the hospital suffering from amnesia, but chances are he's just not all that infatuated with you.
The lack of an answer is his answer to you.
Don't give him the opportunity to reject you again.
Let his mother give him scandals. And you are too busy for that.
There is no mystery here: he simply left your life, and he was not worthy of you.

10. He doesn't like you so much if he is married (this also includes all the other, most incredible reasons why he cannot be with you)

If you cannot love each other freely and openly, then this is not true love. No matter how strong and sincere your feelings for another person may be, if he cannot answer them honestly and fully, that is, with mutual love, these feelings do not mean anything.

44. Excuse like "But his wife is such a bitch!"

No matter how unhappy his marriage was and no matter how terrible his wife treated him, things were definitely not so bad, otherwise he would have left her long ago. A sincere love relationship doesn't deserve to be hidden. Find yourself a man who won't hide his feelings.

45. "But he's such a good person" excuse

Please do not try to ignore this fact. He is married to another woman. I know you are not like everyone else, and in your case everything is different, but the fact remains: he is married. If in your entire life you are ready to stop at a red light only once, then this is just such a case. It's just that the stakes are too high for everyone who plays this game.

46. "I just have to wait" excuse

If, at a certain stage in the development of relations, it comes to “waiting for him,” this is an alarming signal. It is not a stock in which you are going to invest money. He is a man whose heart must be open enough to be ready to meet you and fall madly in love with you. If someone really likes you, they will quickly solve all their problems and make a lot of efforts so as not to lose you.

47. Remember:

He is married.
If it does not belong to you wholly and completely, then it belongs to her.
There are a lot of cool and gentle single men in the world. Try to meet one of them.
If a man yells and vomits curses at his ex-wife or mourns a previous girlfriend, go to a movie with someone else.
He is married.
No need to join the ranks of those very women.
You are not easily forgotten. Let him find you when he is ready for a new relationship.

11. He doesn't like you that much if he acts like a selfish selfish person, a braggart, or just like a big jerk

If he really loves you, he will do his best to make you happy.

48. "But he really wants to get better" excuse

Loving people try to relate well to each other and even enjoy showing their loved ones tenderness and care. If your partner is very bad at it, then you end up reaping the same benefits as in the situation called "He doesn't like you that much."

49. Excuse like "But he was just brought up like that"

It doesn't have to be that he's crazy about your CD collection. He doesn't have to like all of your shoes. But any full-fledged and prudent man is simply obliged to make an effort on himself and love your friends and your family, especially if they are all such wonderful people.

50. "But he will change" excuse

Hot temper is not a temporary problem. People who yell at others simply do not know how to control themselves and need psychiatric help. People who yell at others think they have a right to do so. Hey pretty girl, do you really want to start a family like this?

51. Justification like "After all, it is only important what happens between us in private"

Why be with a person who needs to humiliate you in order to feel their own superiority? Especially in front of friends! Why should you pay attention to the fact that he treats you better when you are alone? After all, he is just waiting for how to bring you into people in order to humiliate you. Throw it! Go to college and write a diploma on the topic: "How to find a man who is not ashamed to show your friends."

52. "But he's just trying to help" excuse

It is not only such behavior when a man beats a woman is called offensive. It is also possible and should be considered offensive behavior when a man shouts at a woman, publicly humiliates her or reminds her that she is too fat, thereby making her feel unattractive. It is very difficult to believe that you deserve true love when someone is struggling to convince you that you are not worthy of anything at all in this life. But, as I see, all the admonitions to part with him still do not work for you. So to begin with, just realize that you are too good for this kind of relationship. You are too good for this kind of relationship.

53. Justification like "He just hasn't found himself yet."

54. Excuse like "Maybe this is one of his little oddities!"

You will surely meet men who do not like hugging, kissing, or having sex. You will spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to deal with it and if you are the cause of this behavior. Or you may simply come to the conclusion that these people do not like doing what you think is an integral part of a fulfilling life, and go in search of someone who shares your views.

The joke sounds, for example, like this: "Hey, Bjork called, she wants to take back her dress." And the insult - like this: "God, well, you are corroded!" But the most important thing is to understand what you need. All of you definitely deserve better treatment!

55. One hundred percent of the men surveyed said they never tried to humiliate or upset a woman they really liked. And this is the most important thing.

Do not complicate an already difficult life by sharing it with a person who gives you a lot of trouble.
You are worthy of such a man who will behave with you as befits in any situation. (Remember to treat him well, too.)
There is no reason to yell at another person unless they are in mortal danger.
Assholes belong in the circus, not in your apartment.
You already have one ass, why do you need another?
By getting rid of useless people, you will have a lot of free time that you can spend on things that give you pleasure.
Believe in yourself. How could it be otherwise?

13. So what should you do?

56. Here you ask: "What if there is no next novel at all?" And we will answer: “Send these terrible thoughts on a long voyage on a ship that will certainly sink, because it is destined to crash on the reefs of the Island of Sorrow. And we don't want you to be on this ship. "

Your new requirements:

I will not date someone who doesn’t ask me out on his own.
I will not meet with a person who makes me wait for hours for his call.
I will not date a person who is not sure if he wants to date me.
I will not date someone who makes me feel sexually unattractive.
I will not date someone who abuses alcohol or drugs, so it makes me uncomfortable.
I will not date a person who is afraid to make plans for the future with me.
Under no circumstances will I waste time with a person who has already rejected me once.
I will not date a married man.
I will not date a man if he is not really a kind, sincere and gentle person.

Now it's your turn. Only you know what other requirements you want to present to your future chosen one. Write them all down. And don't forget about them.

57. DICTIONARY

Friend

This should mean this: I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you.

Busy

This should mean the following: today was my inauguration as President of the United States.
In some cases, it means: I just don't like you that much.

Bad guy

This should mean the following: A guy to stay away from.
In some cases, this means: A guy to stay away from.

I am not ready

This should mean the following: I can't find my pants.
In some cases, it means: I just don't like you that much.

Call me

This should mean the following: I accidentally dropped my cell phone off the cliff into the ocean.
In some cases, it means: I just don't like you that much.

I don't like your family

This should mean the following: I do not want to meet with your mother.
In some cases, it means: I just don't like you that much.

I'm afraid of intimacy

This should mean the following: I am really very afraid of intimacy.
In some cases, it means: I just don't like you that much.

And you will be happy!

The post is based on the book by Greg Berendt, Liz Tuchillo “He just doesn't like you. The whole truth about men. " We recommend that you read the entire book in its entirety.

Also for his impeccable honesty. The ladies found him charming melancholic, but he did not get to know the ladies ...

“You see, Evgeny,” said Arkady, finishing his story, “how unfairly you judge your uncle! I'm not even talking about the fact that more than once he rescued his father from trouble, gave him all his money - the estate, you may not know, they have not divided, - but he is happy to help everyone and, by the way, always stands up for the peasants; however, speaking with them, he frowns and smells the cologne ...

“It’s a known thing: nerves,” interrupted Bazarov.

- Maybe only he has a kind heart. And he is far from stupid. What helpful advice he gave me ... especially ... especially regarding relationships with women.

- Aha! Burned on his own milk, blows on someone else's water. We know it!

“Well, in a word,” continued Arkady, “he is deeply unhappy, believe me; it is sinful to despise him.

- Who despises him? Objected Bazarov. - But I still say that a man who all his life has put on the card of female love and, when this card was killed to him, became limp and sank to the point that he was not capable of anything, such a person is not a man, not a male ... You say that he is unhappy: you know better; but not all the nonsense came out of him. I am sure that he does not jokingly imagine himself to be a sensible person, because he reads Galinyashka and once a month he will save the peasant from execution.

"Yes, remember his upbringing, the time in which he lived," remarked Arkady.

- Upbringing? Interjected Bazarov. - Every person should educate himself - well, at least like me, for example ... As for the time - why should I depend on him? Better yet, it depends on me. No, brother, this is all licentiousness, emptiness! And what is this mysterious relationship between a man and a woman? We physiologists know what this relationship is. You study the anatomy of the eye: where does it come from, as you say, a mysterious look? This is all romanticism, nonsense, rot, art. Let's go better watch the beetle.

And both friends went to Bazarov's room, in which some sort of medical-surgical smell, mixed with the smell of cheap tobacco, had already established itself.