It is very emotional that the artificial postponement of the start of family relationships for the sake of a career is wildness that does not lead to anything good. A conversation four years ago. But, in my opinion, it is still relevant now, because since 2008 our culture, unfortunately, has not changed so much. Questions are posed by Paul Strand, a reporter for CNN. Translated by Kirill Petukhovsky. The interview has been shortened a little; you can read it in full on the Blessed Families Association website.
Q: Mark, you say that today's young people need to get married much earlier. Why?
A: The big catastrophe in marriage right now is people postponing marriage, especially in Christendom. Jesus said, "Be in the world, but do not be worldly," and this has always been a test for Christianity. But our thinking is similar to the thinking of people in the pagan culture we live in, and they say, "Set aside! Set aside! Set aside!" I know Christian parents who even threaten their children not to get married until they are 30 or they will stop paying them college fees and so on. ... and then tell them not to have sex. Well, how does it work ?! This is just a disaster.
What happens is that these guys get all sorts of bad habits, get sexually active too early, have multiple partners, or a lot of guys are addicted to pornography and that kind of thing. And when they get married, they carry all this baggage.
Many people have learned to start and end relationships several times before marriage. What does this teach them? When it gets tough - get out! And now, when they got married and think that they have found their only one, it suddenly becomes difficult, and they do what they have always done - unwind the fishing rods. They learned this when they were 21, 22, 24, 28, and now, when they are 32 and they are married, and difficulties arise, they run away.
The idea of delaying marriage is ridiculous and absurd, and it destroys our culture of marriage. Better to get it right from the start than get it wrong later!
Q: Some people in the church think that maybe people don't need sex before marriage. What do you say to this?
A: This depressing idea of encouraging young people to remain celibate until the age of 30 is ridiculous. And I would say that if you can wait that long, then don't get married at all! If you can wait until you turn 30, you are happy with everything and you have no sexual problems, then by God, you better become a monk! Stay single and do church work, and Paul said this was the best option because you can spend more time in the Kingdom of God.
In reality, young people are losing their sexual purity. One of the biggest misfortunes is that our guys are so addicted to pornography that when they finally get married, they can't quit. I meet these guys all the time at my conferences. They come up to me with their lovely wives, and my wife says, "He doesn't want to have sex with me, he just wants to watch pornography." And these are Christians! Who in their right mind would prefer pornography to a real woman?
Only in the USA! Why? Because they got hooked on this behavior when they were 20, 25, 30 years old. Now they are married and think, "OK, marriage will help resolve this." But this problem is not being resolved. They get married and in fact continue to prefer pornography to their own wife. This is a disaster for a marriage, but no one talks about it.
Q: Doesn't it matter that young people have little money?
A: When I married my wife, we were incredibly bankrupt, incredibly stupid, but we never had any problems ... in our relationship. We had a hard time in life, sometimes we had a hard time paying the bills, but what does it matter? None! Unless you start acting selfishly and ruining your relationship by blaming each other for everything.
Or your mom shows up and starts saying, "I told you you were too young for marriage." Yeah, a lot of help.
Q: In your opinion, should parents help young couples?
O, sure. Why don't parents help their children when they get married? What kind of thinking is this in our culture - when you get married, you completely cut yourself off from your family and from financial support? We ourselves create the environment for which children fail.
If you helped them when they were unmarried, they were 20 years old and they were in college, then why do you stop helping them just because they were married? Where is the logic here? We helped our daughter graduate from college when she was married. And what's the difference here? No! The idea that we should deprive them of financial support just because they are married is laughable.
Q: Many people get married and leave their extended family. Is this a good idea?
A: Life is not easy. Marriage is not easy. The Bible says, "Whoever marries will have afflictions according to the flesh." You won't hear that at a wedding, but this is the reality. Marriage isn't easy, so why not build your marriage around a strong, structured family?
My advice to young people: if you are going to marry a young girl, do not separate her from her family. This is one of the biggest challenges. Because if you pull her away from her support group, she will stick a straw in you and suck your brain through it in search of emotional support. The man was not created to be able to fulfill all the emotional needs of a woman. It will make your life miserable. It is better to leave her with her sister, mother, friends, she will give birth to you a child surrounded by these people, she will feel safer and will not constantly pester you. Here's what's going on. The guy tears the girl away from her family, she tries to satisfy all her needs with his help, and this begins to destroy their relationship and drive him crazy. He cannot understand what is happening to her. "Why doesn't she leave me alone?" Buddy, you made it yourself.
Q: Most parents seem to stop helping their children when they get married. Is this the correct solution?
A: The most important factor in a successful marriage is family involvement. Instead, we threaten our children. "If you get married, I don't want to know you anymore!" And when the children get married, they leave the family, remain on their own, then their marriage collapses and they come back, where everyone says: "I told you so. I knew it would be so." Now, if the family were there to help first of all ...
To be honest, I believe that family should be a huge factor in deciding who to marry. For thousands of years, men and women have been getting married because their parents came together to help them make a decision. And it wasn't a sinister conspiracy where the kids were forced to marry and "I couldn't marry the one I loved." This is all nonsense. Children have always had the right to veto. They were never forced to marry. The father and mother would come up and say, "Look, that would be a good choice," and the children could agree or not. Even in the Bible, they approached Rebekah and asked, "Do you want to marry Isaac?" And she had the right to say "no," but she said, "Yes, good." So it's safe now because the family is part of it.
Then, in the 18th century, the parents stopped making decisions - the children began to decide. But then the parents had the right to veto. And now we believe that we are much "smarter", no one has the right to veto, and everything is decided by "feelings". It is our "feelings" that help us define the most important relationships in life, and that ends in disaster. No one has the right to veto, and a complete mess ensues.
Let's admit that this generation in our country does not want their parents to help them in choosing a life partner. Well then, find yourself a mentor, some married couple, someone you trust, and ask him to help. But if you just decided to trust your "feelings", disaster awaits yours.
Q: Isn't it crazy that our culture encourages people to wait and wait and wait before getting married?
A: It's a matter of maturity. What happened is that we created a culture of adolescence that is essentially bullshit. There is no adolescent culture anywhere in the world except in the West. You know we didn't have any teenage culture until the 50s? Such an expression did not even exist. You were a young man or young woman or child. Then, in the 50s, 60s and 70s, we created a teenage culture, and that culture goes straight to hell!
It's like the children were allowed not to grow up. Well, that's okay when you're 18. And now? Now adolescence is up to 34 years! We created this extended adolescence where children don't grow up. They don't mature because they are not required to! And the church allows it.
If the pagans want to live like this, then let them at least smash their foreheads against the wall. We cannot control them. But what worries me as a preacher of the gospel is that the church thinks the same way. We created this extended adolescence! For those who claim that they are still too young to be mature, let me ask you: when a person is 30 years old and not yet married, is he still immature? Undoubtedly yes! There are many young people under 32 who still live with their mother (especially young men), and who are still as immature and irresponsible as they were at 16. Why? Because, as is known in any world culture, boys turn into men through marriage, responsibility and children. That’s what knocks out frivolity out of them.
And we say "put off, put off, put off, you are still immature," and they remain immature. Ask any single 30-year-old woman who is still looking for a boyfriend and she will tell you that they are all immature. They remain exactly the same. And do you know whom these women prefer? Married or divorced men! Why? Because they are much more mature people. So what happened to these unmarried guys? They don't realize that men like that are much more mature because they got married!
So all these arguments are laughable! They say that they are too young that they cannot make commitments. They say it's best to wait until college graduation. But every study shows that married college students do much better than unmarried college students.
Q: What is the advantage of earlier marriages over later marriages, as desired by modern culture?
A: I got married at 18 and all the children in my family get married early. If you are 21 in my family and you are not married yet, something is wrong with you! And divorce is unheard of, we don't have such problems.
As I travel the country and speak with couples at the marriage seminars I teach, I see that the happiest couples are those who started a family at 18, 19, 20, 21, no questions asked. You can conduct such a survey yourself at any time.
Those with worse affairs postponed marriage or got married and left it several times. The most important factor that people do not consider is not age, but sexual activity. The Heritage Foundation conducted a study and found that among women in their 30s who had only one sexual partner, the divorce rate was only 20%. Among those who had one more partner (and here we are not talking about lovers), i.e. just one more romance, one night more, the divorce rate jumps to almost 50%, and for those who had 3 partners it is 60%. I mean, this is the most important indicator, it's all about sexual activity, not maturity, money, education and such nonsense. It turns out that we ourselves create an environment that almost guarantees that these people will be sexually active and practically predetermine their unfortunate destiny.
The first key to incredible sex is Oneness. One man focused on one woman
So, The # 1 key to incredible sex is exclusivity! When one man only loves one woman.
Let's turn to Solomon's song. Now she says: "My beloved belongs to me, and I belong to him."
Something incredible happens when a man loves only one woman. This sounds radical because in our culture, lust is considered the key to incredible sex: the more you fantasize, the more you date whores, the more you watch porn sites, the cooler your sex life will be. But they are lying to you. Our culture has completely lost its head. And all the experts say, "Yes, the key to incredible sex lies in fantasy and masturbation." God, I can't even imagine this woman's sex life!
Hollywood, where people have been unmarried for more than three months, has shown us the perfect sex scenario. Lust, fantasies ... But all this is a big blatant vile lie. Everything in life is not so! You say that I am against it because I am a priest. No no! I'm not morally opposed to lust. If you want, I will fight lust in hell too, but this is not necessary. Lust just doesn't work! If she helped, then at least she would have a little bit of meaning. But no. And today no one resists her. Read the tale of the naked king. Everyone around him kept repeating how beautiful his clothes were, and suddenly one child declared: "He's naked." I feel like this child. All modern experts repeat the same lie over and over again. And everyone agrees to them: “Oh yes, the robes of the king are beautiful. Oh yeah. Lust, pornography, masturbation are all the essence of fantastic sex. " But this is not the case. There is only one proof: if you don't try, you won't know. Someone will say to this that this is not proof. But the proof is that you guys are doing it. I’ll ask you a question, you who sit in the dark and look at whores on the Internet, sit and cum right in their panties ... Okay, masturbators, you know what I mean. I’ll ask you a question: “Well, how do you like that? Are you having good sex? " You yourself know that it is not. In fact, the more you do it, the more you indulge in lust, the worse your sex life becomes. Lust doesn't help. It only makes everything worse. It destroys people's lives. In Hollywood, these experts are all ignorant.
I watched one show ... "Family Feud" - such a bunch of beautiful unloaded puppets. I watch these people. They look very good, but they are dumb as boots. He asked the question: "What would you do to improve your personal life?" And went to the first table, to the first person: "So, I am waiting for your answer." And he answers: "I'll get a mistress." And the rest of the boots shouted: "Good answer, good answer!" Having a mistress ... How can you be so stupid and still alive? The way to improve your love life is to have a mistress ?! But they live in such a culture. The more lust and all these improvements ... But there is no improvement. Everything just collapses. I know psychiatrists who advised married couples to have a love affair on the side in order to improve their sex life. They never noticed the naked king. Then the presenter comes up to another guy and asks him, he looks at him like a psycho and answers: "I'll get a mistress." He approaches the next felt boot: "What will you do to improve your personal life?" "We'll watch pornography together." - "Good answer! Good answer!" All the answers they gave were based on lust. They had three attempts and failed to answer correctly. The presenter approaches another stack of boots. And everything is the same there! I've never seen anything like this ... Neither side answered correctly. When they all answered, the presenter suggested looking at the correct answer: spending time together, having a romantic dinner, walking together, giving her flowers. Those. everything that a fool understands. But these people don't understand. Do not understand…
Yes, the world has resolved the issue of good sex. The basic formula is fantasy. Oh, yes, it's a good idea to ignore the real woman in your life and focus on the one who will never say a word to you. Yes, let's do this, let's pretend, let's live in a fantasy world. We trade real women for fantasies. How can you be so stupid? All of this has become a real problem. Do you know who noticed this? Many people have leftist liberal ideas. They start writing about it, realizing that this is a problem. The sexuality of men is diminishing. They are incapable of sex because they have “re-stimulated” themselves with pornography. She destroys them.
I have met women who have told me that their husbands prefer pornography and masturbation over sexual relations with their wife. Once a woman in her twenties with a good appearance came to my office, well, just a doll. She sits in front of me and says, “My husband hasn't touched my vagina in over a year. He is not interested. " - “You're kidding! And what does he want? " "He wants me to settle for obscenity in a relationship." He's got a lot of rubbish in pornography. Traded a real woman for a fantasy. And many women have told me that their husbands prefer masturbating to love with them. Fantasy and masturbation are the ideal of good sex ... And what do they find in this masturbation that they defend it so passionately as some form of good sex? I do not understand this. I would like to see that first idiot who, looking at his hand, said: "You know, this little thing looks like a vagina."
All of this is starting to ruin the sex life of many men. Don't make a fool of yourself. There is no way you can do this over and over again without retraining your body. Everyone knows this. Everything about the physical body is known to athletes: they train, they repeat the same action over and over again in order to train their body and make it react in a certain way. The military knows that young soldiers need to be trained to react in certain situations in a certain way, and they repeat the tests over and over again. What for? To train your body to act immediately under certain conditions. For God's sake, how can our culture teach teenagers from the age of 13 to masturbate 2-3, sometimes 7 times a day, hoping that this will not be transformed into a trained reflex ?! It is true that many men today are unable to build relationships with women. At seminars, I am constantly told about this: guys come up to me, women come up and say that their husbands are not capable of sex. Many modern men are incapable of having sex with a woman. One guy calls me and says that he can make love with his wife for hours and nothing happens. He is unable to reach orgasm. But alone with himself he does it. Great ... Let's teach our children this, let's teach them ... He went to the doctor to find out what was wrong with him, and he diagnosed him. I am not kidding. TMS is a traumatic masturbatory syndrome.
What are we thinking about? Do you know what pisses me off the most? When they tell me that this is a way to achieve an orgasm, if you masturbate, there will be an orgasm. To associate the words "masturbation" and "orgasm" is sheer madness. You can't masturbate orgasm! You can ejaculate, you can experience a physical sensation, but this is not an orgasm! Orgasm is when you make love with a woman, reach a climax, endorphin enters the bloodstream, and every cell of your body boils and rushes to the next cell, and you shout: "Hallelujah!" This is an orgasm.
Almost universally, people confess that immediately after masturbating, they experience the opposite sensations. Abomination, dirt, wine. And psychologists tell us: “You shouldn't feel guilty about masturbation. Everything is fine". I'll tell you what: you can deceive your mind, but you cannot deceive your body. A lot of modern men never reach orgasm. They ejaculate. That's all. They have trained themselves to do this. You cannot force your body to do this over and over again and think that it will function normally. All those who are trained to ejaculate are unable to achieve orgasm. Wonderful! Let's teach all of our children this. Our children are being misinformed, as are many of you. Lord, don't let them take it for granted! Disinformation destroys a person's sex life; it can do it for the rest of his life. And no one tells you what I am telling you now.
You have to understand something: pornography will steal good sex from you. Why is every man tempted? Because he is promised good sex. This is how we are being pulled in. A promise to improve sex. But we were deceived. I tell you exactly. The more you do it, and you know that you are doing it, the further you are from the goal. The lies that have been imposed on our generation and continue to be imposed on matters of sexuality are blatantly targeted lies. We are all insane in our country. People's lives are being destroyed. Do you know what is the biggest problem in America today? Asexual marriage. It turns out that people don't want sex. They do not want to engage in sexual relations. They want sex with themselves. Great, we changed a real woman for a fictional one ... Self-centered lazy men demand quick gratification and begin to love themselves, not women. Sadly…
“What should I say to our teenagers?” You ask. Tell them to wait, they won't die from this. No one has ever died from a lack of ejaculation. We are also misinformed about this. People discuss a disease like testicular inflammation as often as calculating taxes. I have heard women say, "Doesn't my son get testicular inflammation if he doesn't masturbate?" No, he won't get sick! This is the biggest mass provocation of myths, ridiculous nonsense. Such a disease exists, but has nothing to do with ejaculation. It is associated with over-stimulation over time. The answer is: if you cannot withstand overstimulation, return to your normal state. This is not a chronic condition, not a torture with which a person is forced to live his whole life if he does not masturbate.
An incredible lie. We are not animals. Do you know the difference between an animal and a person? We can say no. We are in control of ourselves. We live in a culture where the very idea of self-control is considered ridiculous, absurd. There are people who, upon hearing me, will say: "I can't believe he said that!" I perform all over the country. And sometimes I come across a typical scenario with one of the experts who comes to the seminar. And I say what I think. And it comes out on snot. They say, “Where is your proof? Where is the proof?" Now I will provide my evidence. They are so ignorant. Do we need to prove it? Prove it? Many things are so obvious ... It's like asking to prove that oxygen is good for the lungs. Therefore, I will try to prove it to them.
Let's start with a scientific explanation, okay? Let's say A (horny woman) plus B (horny man) equals Best Sex. Is that clear to you? Sounds logical? Judge for yourself: if you exclude the horny man from the equation, how will you achieve good sex? If you exclude the horny woman, you won't get good sex either. So at least agree that good sex requires a horny woman and a horny man in the equation.
Now I’m going to do a social survey. About pornography. Girls, you have to understand that these experts, therapists, idiots, as I call them, are using therapeutic techniques: this is prescribed for you, pornography is prescribed for you, it will improve your intimate life. I ask you women, if you knew that your husband had just watched pornography and wanted to use you to satisfy his needs by thinking of another woman, how many of you would feel sexually aroused? Raise your hands. Well, let's designate the poll result as Zero.
I explained it to people, and they said, “You can't do that, you can't ask women if they are aroused. They will never raise their hands. They will not be able, this is not correct. " Okay, I'll change the question. If you knew that your husband only thinks of you and treats you as the only woman in the world, not thinking about other women, how many of you would feel sexually aroused? Raise your hands. Oh, so the women will raise their hands after all ?! Raise it again, I have to count ... Okay, let's designate this result as "A lot."
For experts who need proof, I checked the formula with the greatest minds of mathematics and, after heated discussions, found out that "Much" is greater than Zero. Simply brilliant. We now know that Pornography equals Unworn Woman. And here you have a problem. If a woman is not turned on by the idea that her husband will fantasize, then a doctor's order to watch pornography in order to improve intimate life is pure perverse nonsense. Because once you exclude a woman, you cannot achieve great sex. Right? I have explained this to people thousands of times. But I have never met a single woman who would say that it would be great ... I am sure there must be one or two such women somewhere. But in their life everything is so one-sided that it deprives them of reason.
The people are so blind that they do not notice the nakedness of the king. After all, this is what the experts say. But we do know that repeated viewing of pornography can destroy masculinity. I tell you, people have already started to notice this. We receive many letters, read about it in secular and liberal magazines. People complain that men are not capable of sex. I know men who, during sex with their wife, insist on having an open porn magazine next to her so that they remain aroused during sex. One can only guess how well she feels at the same time ... Why are they doing this? Because if they don't look at the magazine, they are unable to maintain an erection. So addictive to pornography. And these people think it's good, cool sex ...
So we know that repeated viewing of pornography nullifies masculinity. This will help us discover the formula for better sex.
If A (horny woman) plus B (horny man) equals Better Sex, and we know that Pornography means Unexcited Woman, and repeated viewing of Pornography leads to a weakening of masculinity, then it is logical that A + B - Pornography = Better Sex.
And this means that the information from the experts, most likely, is based on Eresi with Poor Scientific DATA (Nonsense).
Can you imagine how angry these people are at me? I don't care. I even like it! These people look at me like I am a Martian. There is one woman who writes for many magazines, interviews. She said, “But I've never heard of that. Isn't masturbation the norm? After all, even children masturbate after all. I said that? Children don't masturbate! " And she: "Well, they touch themselves." To which I: "Well, I also touch myself." And besides, are they our exemplary children? My grandchildren can eat their own poop if I let them. Does this mean that we all need to eat poop?
These people do not understand anything. They are committing the world's worst intellectual fraud. Do you know why? Because they are all addicted to all this nonsense themselves. Because of the imprinting we talked about at the beginning, these impressed men need constant repetition, playing pornographic scenarios in order to enjoy sex.
You have to get rid of it all. You need to "re-target". We need to take cameras and take new pictures. Making love to this girl - forget about everything that came before. Don't try to resurrect all that rubbish in your head. he will not give you good sex, he will take it away from you. I swear to you that focusing on one woman is the key to better sex.
You see, lust is eating light snacks all day long. They'll kill your appetite for real food. Your mom was right. Light snacks can break your appetite. And if you look at this girl, at that girl, at this magazine, at that pornography, you will lose the need for real sex.
Try, try to live right for at least 30 days. It's not a problem for anyone to do anything for 30 days. For 30 days in a row, don't look at other women, don't fantasize about them, don't watch those stupid pornographic magazines. Focus on one girl and see what happens to you. It will come to life for you again. And you are for her. She feels that she is becoming the only woman for you. It'll be cool! You will find the best sex in life, I promise you that! Or I will refund your money.
Let's live by the rules. It will change your world. Will change the world. It is our responsibility to disseminate correct information. Your children need to hear this. They were lied to ... You know, when I speak to teenagers, youth, students, they sit as if stunned. Do you know what they tell me after? They ask: "Why didn't anyone tell us about this?" Because everything they heard was sheer nonsense. "So I should never touch myself?" I didn’t say that you shouldn’t touch yourself. People say: "What if we don't see each other for a long time?" - "Fine, fine! But what I am saying is that you live in a house with a real woman, but you do not pay attention to her and make love to yourself! "
This is madness. This is not good sex, this is terrible sex. These guys are boasting, claiming to have good sex. Doddies. For them, the main thing is to fantasize, to masturbate, and thirdly - shit! - use a condom. This is how the secular world thinks good sex can be achieved. For me, using a condom is like eating ice cream with a sock on your tongue. Guys, if you want to control the birth rate, you'd better use something other than a condom. If you don't know the difference between good sex and a condom, we need to open a hotline for you. Save money for medicine. That's what pisses off all these experts. When I say that, they get angry: "You are spreading dangerous information!" No, no and NO! I declare officially: if you are going to have sex outside of marriage, be sure to use a condom. If I were you, I would wear two or three condoms. It's like putting groceries in a double bag at a grocery store. But don't be fooled by yourself. Don't fool your head. This is not cool sex. Do you want good sex? Get married. The good thing about marriage is that you don't have to use those stupid condoms.
God knew what he was talking about. When He said that one man should focus on just one woman. This is great sex, incredible sex. He will drive you crazy, amaze you to the core. All these fantasies, this nonsense and all that stuff - this is doom, this is poison. This is not cool sex. All this deprives people of good sex. And they are constantly looking for good sex, trying to at least somehow get satisfaction, trying to get high, like heroin addicts. But they are failing. It just doesn't work. This does not work.
You have to do the right thing. I know this is difficult. Everything about the sexuality of a man and a woman, the perfect balance that we talked about - all this is difficult. But don't forget this. Pay attention to this topic.
You cannot even imagine how men suffer from sexual temptation. They shout, "God, what should I do with the temptation?" Do you know what God will answer these questions? Have sex. I like this answer.
Girls, you should be close to your man. You have no idea how difficult it is for a man. You need to be there. Don't ignore your husband's sexual urges. It is normal to fulfill each other's conditions before having sex, I talked about this. But remember that you cannot fundamentally ignore this question. Do you want your husband to glorify God tomorrow morning? Then make him smile tonight!
It would seem that there cannot be such a person as Gangor Mark in the world. Church ministers do not sprinkle witticisms, do not fool around in public, and do not make thousands of audiences laugh without stopping for several hours in a row.
But it turns out that this approach allows the world famous pastor to teach believers about God's law and the secrets of a happy marriage.
Mark Gangor: biography of a clergyman
The hero of numerous television and radio programs lives and works in Green Bay, Wisconsin, USA. He heads the Christian Worship Church, a large religious institution with three branches.
Gangor was previously the founder of a church in Stephens Point, Wisconsin. During 4 years of ministry, he managed to increase the number of branch members from 35 to 500.
Psychologist, artist, writer and ... pilot
They say that Mark held the first seminar for couples out of necessity, because "there were no other people willing to do this work."
The audience was fascinated by the lecturer and looked forward to new lessons. So Gangor began to speak regularly to the parishioners.
He soon founded Laugh As You Want.
This preacher does not have the serious, judgmental expression that many teachers have. He is a talented comedian. Gangor Mark allows himself to "hooligan" in front of the audience: draw funny pictures, dance, mimic hapless husbands and wives with facial expressions and gestures.
Today, the pastor leads an active traveling lifestyle, giving lectures in the United States and Mexico. Thousands of people invariably come to his classes, seeking happiness in mutual love with marriage partners.
Gangor Mark has written 14 books on the psychology of relationships between men and women. The most famous of them, also translated into Russian, is "Laughter is the best helper in marriage."
Taking off his cassock for a while, the pastor delivers inspiring speeches at formal meetings, business meetings, and city-scale events. He is in demand as a speaker in the US Army.
American media companies regularly invite Gangor to become the hero of new program releases. The pastor also hosts an author's program, broadcast on 250 national radio waves.
Mark proudly informs the audience of his seminars that in his free time he enjoys music and is learning to fly an airplane.
Not only theorist
Gangor himself has been happily married to his beloved Debbie, whom he met at school, for more than 42 years. The faithful spouse accompanies the pastor on all trips.
The Gangors' two children are also deeply married.
The youngest generation of the family is represented by grandchildren: four boys and two girls, Anna and Elsa.
Loyalty to yourself
Being loyal to God, following the commandments of Heavenly Father does not mean living monotonously and yearning. Gangor Mark tries to convey this idea to his listeners, and he succeeds.
Behind the play of a comedian, there are solid life principles that the pastor preaches and honors highly. The main values for Gangor are always goodness and love.
Mark Gangor humorously talks about the difference in thinking and behavior between men and women. Everyone who watches his performances will have discoveries, and you will find for yourself something that will radically change your life. It's best if you watch this video in pairs.
Instead of an introduction - a short excerpt from the talk, which can be called "How to Succeed with a Woman" - useful for men and women to watch.
1 Mark Gangor. Male and female brain
After watching this part, you will understand what is the fundamental difference in the thinking of men and women, why it is so difficult to understand each other and how to make your communication more effective.
2 Mark Gangor. A story of two brains. Part 2
In this part, you will understand that when problems arise in a relationship, you need to dig not in the other person, but in yourself. For example, if you ask your husband to do something, and he still does not, the problem is not with him, but with you. Why? Watch the video and understand how to get your husband to do what you need without scandals and resentment.
3 Mark Gangor on sex. Part 1
Why is it important not to have sex before marriage, for both men and women, how the first sexual experience can ruin your whole life. Why women do not get an orgasm and often refuse intimate relationships. What 5 points will help you have incredible sex.
4 Mark Gangor on sex. Part 2
How masturbation and pornography affects your sex life and relationship with your partner. What spouses are doing wrong and how sex can change the lives of each of you.
5 Mark Gangor. How to keep your marriage alive and not kill your spouse
Very simple and very effective advice that can really save and preserve your marriage. You will learn what drives your husband to cheat and how to prevent it. You will also learn about the power of forgiveness, be able to forgive your partner, and ask for forgiveness yourself by repeating the words of the speaker. A very effective technique.
Men are not women, the preacher assures.
Yes Yes. He preaches from the stage such important and seemingly obvious things as the difference between men and women.
And very cheerfully, with great humor and kindness, she explains exactly what she is.
Here are some phrases from the beginning of his speech:
- I asked many women to describe their ideal man, and they described the ideal woman!
- Men are very simple. S-E-K-S - everything is simple.
- One general rule must be understood about men and women: when problems arise, one should not delve into another person.
I have a Bible passage that I would like to show you.
If you follow his advice, your marriage will never, ever be a problem. The Bible says: "It is better for a man not to marry at all." And the Bible continues the thought: "However, if you marry, such will have sorrows ..."
People often come up to me and say, "I have problems in my marriage!" I answer: "No, you are doing well." These passages are not often heard at weddings. Would spoil the mood, right? You won't find these words on greeting cards. They are not written on beautifully decorated cakes.
Is this a good enough reason not to get married? After all, marriage is just a miracle. Great, incredible miracle. But he is not without problems.
I want to show another quote from the Bible: "Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean." Let me explain these words to you. They mean that if you get an ox, you will get ox poop too. If you don’t like poop, and most of us really don’t like it, then it’s tempting to get rid of the ox. I don’t want you to get rid of your will. Why do you need this ox? Here is what is written in the continuation of the quote: "And a lot of profit from the power of oxen." Here's the rub.
On the one hand, we all love the benefits of an ox, but no one likes poop. The meaning of the quote is that one is inseparable from the other. There is no such thing as a cupless marriage. We will not talk about how to achieve perfection in life, but about how to make sure that you are not inundated with poop. If all you have is stool, then your will is sick.
But there are no waste-free marriages. For those who do not understand, I will give a mathematical formula: an ox equals poop divided by positive. Some are closer to "positive divided by feces." In any case, we are talking about the ratio and its result.
Marriage is a wonderful institution. Statistics show that married people are healthier than unmarried people, they are happier, they earn more money, they have a better sex life than unmarried people. In our culture, this is imperceptible. Judging by all the films and shows, it is unmarried people who are happy with sex, and married people ...
If someone asks how you are with sex, the answer is: “Are you laughing? I'm married ... ”Not true. This is just some kind of nonsense. People in marriage are more satisfied with their sex life, single people just do not understand anything about it, they just scream a lot. Statistics show that married people live longer.
The marriage is beautiful. The problem is that a lot of people get it wrong. We live in a culture that knows nothing about human relationships. We really don't know what to do. I want to teach you how to energize and change your marriage.
If you are driving at 80 miles per hour on a section of road where the permitted speed is only 40 miles per hour, and you do not slow down, then most likely you will have an accident, even if you are listening to the Christian wave, even if you have an icon Christ in the car ... You may not like it, but the laws of physics still apply to you, whether you believe in them or not. The same is true with the physics of relationships.
If you behave in a certain way, then most likely your wife will behave in a completely different way.
Here's a typical stereotype: "Men are more interested in sex than their wives." Why is this so? Because in a general sense it is true. But not always. In many families, the wife is more interested in sex than her husband. And if your wife is more interested in sex than you, then, probably, I will not be mistaken, saying on behalf of all men: "We hate you!" But do not give yourself away to us, otherwise we will inadvertently beat you.
The culture we live in claims that marriage is the institution that sucks the life out of you. Therefore, we say: "First you have to grow up, first you have to earn money, first you have to get an education, first you have to study a person on dating for 37 years." First, first, first ... But it’s not like that. Marriage will give you life if you do it right. And if you’re wrong, you’ll start filling out the forms.
The brain of a man. He is unique. A man's brain is made from small boxes. We have our own box for everything. There is a box for the car. There is a box for money, for work, for you, for the children, for your mother, somewhere in the basement. We have boxes everywhere. And there is also a rule - the boxes should not touch each other! When a man discusses a particular issue, he finds that particular box, takes it out, opens it and discusses only what is in that box! And then he closes that box and puts it back, but very carefully so that it doesn't touch other boxes!
A woman's brain is different from a man's. A woman's brain is a big ball of wires. Everything is connected to everything: money is connected to the car, the machine is connected to your work, children are connected to your mother, everything is connected to everything. Very similar to high speed internet. And all of this is controlled by an energy called "emotions." This is one of the reasons why women tend to remember everything. Because any event associated with emotions is recorded in your memory, and you remember it all your life. The same thing happens with men, but not often, because honestly, we don't care.
There is a box in a man's brain that most women are not aware of. There is nothing in this particular box. Truth. In fact, it is called the "Nothing Box". Of all the boxes in a man's brain, the Box About Nothing is his favorite. If he could, he would sit in this box all day. This is why we do what we are branded for. For example, we go fishing ... we sit in front of the TV ... Women cannot do that. And they do not understand the Box About Nothing. Therefore they are going crazy. Nothing annoys a woman like the sight of a man doing nothing!
All guys feel a duty to fix a woman when she's stressed. This is because it is natural for men. A man will tell another man about his problems only if, in return, he will help him solve them. But she's not a man. And if you try to fix it, it will kill you. She doesn't need your advice, she doesn't need your help. She only needs you to shut up and listen to her!
If the man told you that he is stressed, let him lock himself in the Box About Nothing! And don't go near him! And you find it difficult to understand, because we think differently.
Men speak fewer words than women. This is because a woman has to connect many wires in her brain and explain all the connections.
The same words can have different meanings for men and women. For example, for most men, "5 minutes" means 5 minutes. For many women, these words can mean an indefinite period of time ... Men understand Nothing. Women do not understand the meaning of Nothing. If the woman said "nothing" then beware! When a man sighs, it means that everything is fine in his life. When a woman sighs, it means that you are an idiot. When a man says "go on," then he is polite. When a woman says “go on,” it means she gives you the opportunity to talk about your next stupid act. But you have to be careful in your explanation, as most likely it will be followed by her sigh, followed by "nothing." And you will be deprived of sex for at least 5 minutes.
A woman's brain has an additional memory device so that she can memorize everything in detail. A man's brain meets the minimum systemic requirements for him to breathe and eat. Therefore, many men are not friendly with details, we simply do not need them.
When an event occurs, the man assigns it the category “event”. While it's not just an event for a woman, it's all the details associated with the event.
A woman approaches a man and asks: "How was your day?" The man turns to his memory device and says, "Well, day is like a day." And he adds: "Normal day." And she continues: "Has anything happened?" He again turns to the storage device, and there is nothing there! He is in a panic and replies: "Nothing." And the woman is seething ...
When women talk about their situation, they literally relive it in excruciatingly painful detail. That is, she is really there again, and it ignites.
Not all people are the same. But mostly all men are single-tasked. We do one thing and we do it very well. Women can do a lot at the same time. Guys can't do that. Therefore, you should not ask a man to answer for more than one child at a time. But we can handle one child.
If a man does something, he practically hears nothing. Women can do a lot and have three different conversations.
If a man is busy with something (except when he is arranged differently), do not give him vital information! Because it won't write in his brain. You know what you said to him, but in his brain there was only information that you didn’t tell him.
Women are so multitasking that they are able to do their thing even "outside the network coverage area." It would be great if your husband was in the network coverage area. One man came up to me and said: “You know, I'm standing in the toilet. The door is closed. The air conditioner is working. Tiles are everywhere, so the sound just bounces off the walls. And I'm standing there. All I can hear is the sound of pouring water. And she is still talking to me! "
You can determine exactly whether you are married to a multitasking woman or not: if, in a moment of intimate passion, she suddenly informs you that, by the way, the plumber said that our toilet was broken ... God, she can make love to you and plan dinners for the next week and thinking about toilets. And all at the same time ...
Girls, if your husbands needed companionship, support and conversation, they would get themselves a dog.
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