How does the adolescent crisis manifest itself? Developmental psychology: the crisis of adolescence. Characteristic signs of a crisis in adolescents

The development of a child from childhood to adulthood is accompanied by periodic mental crises. The age limit for crisis periods is as follows:

• one year old;
• at three or four years old;
• seven-year crisis period;
• crisis phenomena from 13 to 17 years old.

Age crises - definition

Age-related phenomena that occur at 3-4 years old and the crisis of 17 years are considered especially serious.

The crisis of 4 years in children is more painless, parents can help their baby to survive this process. Domestic psychology considers the adolescent's growing up period to be the most difficult, since personality restructuring begins, the adolescent during this period can completely change his views. For parents, a native child becomes a stranger, an incomprehensible person, capable of unpredictable actions.

Features and periods of adolescence

It should be clarified that the boundaries of the adolescent crisis are individual for each adolescent.

Characteristic signs of a crisis in adolescents

The adolescent crisis is approaching gradually. It is very important for parents to recognize the first manifestations of it. You don't have to pretend that nothing is happening, that everything will pass by itself. Signs of a maturing crisis in some adolescents begin to appear as early as 10 years old, others enter the problem stage at 13-17 years old

Psychologists believe that the later the age problem manifests itself, the more acute the crisis phenomena are.

Communication with peers comes to the fore

Typical crisis manifestations can be considered:

1. Craving for the company of older children or intensifying communication with peers.
2. In adolescents, there is a strong desire for autonomy, independence and independence. He considers his opinion to be the only correct one.

Tips: If parents begin to notice that a child can communicate with peers for an infinitely long time, and in the family it is burdensome to communicate, keeps silent, loses interest in family affairs, then the problem of adolescence has come to your home. It's time to immediately visit a psychologist and read special literature.

Key signs of an adolescent crisis

Parents need to know that a crisis in adolescence has its "pluses" - contradictions tearing the soul of a teenager are needed in order to form a full-fledged and harmonious personality.

The main phases of the crisis period

1. Phase 1 is called pre-critical or negative. This period is characterized by the fact that stereotypes are crumbling in the minds of a teenager. Parents often do not understand what is happening to their child, so there are many disagreements in the family.
2. Phase 2 is the culmination point of the crisis. Most often this happens at the age of 13-15. For some, this period is stormy, for others it is more calm and gentle. Phase 2 is characterized by children's addiction to informal culture, they join different groups or "nailed" to bad companies.
3. Phase 3 is called post-critical. At this stage, new relationships are formed with peers, with family and with society.

Development of the adolescent crisis

Tips: Parents need to be as patient and understanding as possible. You should never enter into confrontation. It is important to create a psychological climate at home in which the teenager will be comfortable. He should feel that he is loved in the family.

Dad and mom need to understand that a son or daughter has begun to grow up, that the opinion of their child must be taken into account.

The adolescent crisis is expressed in two forms - dependence and independence.

Crisis type: independence

Crisis phenomena are expressed in the fact that the child very sharply rejects those around him and his family. Hence the name - independent. The characteristic features of independence are the manifestation of willfulness, the devaluation of the opinion of the older generation, and the denial of their demands.

Crisis of independence - manifestations

More sharply and bluntly, manifestations of independence are noticeable at 13-15 years old. The crisis of 17 years has manifested itself in more hidden forms. The symptoms of a crisis period will not go away by themselves. It does not appear all the time, but in periods. Parents should not escalate the relationship during this time.

Psychology advises to treat the age crisis with understanding. It is difficult for a child to go through contradictions, his psyche cannot cope with emotions, he does not know how to manage feelings. If you enter into a confrontation, then the teenager may break loose or become withdrawn.

Tips: Parents need to listen to the "cry of the heart" of their child.

A sign of crisis is distance from parents

You do not need to lecture him, teach him, and you should not talk, as with a baby, in an instructive tone. Otherwise, the situation will only get worse. Overcoming a problem age is possible only with the help of patience and love for your child.

Some parents practice the use of force. For a young nihilist, this attitude will only provoke negative reactions.

Crisis type: addiction

Among the crises that children are experiencing, the following tendency is revealed. If the crisis of 4 years in children, most often, is a manifestation of independence and the desire for independence, then adolescents tend to be addicted.

Such a crisis is manifested by the excessive obedience, the desire to be "under the wing" of the elders. A teenager has no desire to become an adult, he is afraid of difficulties, he cannot make independent decisions, and in general he is afraid of independence.

Addiction crisis - signs

Such a crisis is worse than an independent one. The type of behavior of a teenager assumes that the child will become infantile, his development will become slower.

Tips: The process of the crisis depends on the behavior of the adults. Dads and mothers, grandparents should be very patient.

It must be remembered that the child intuitively copies the behavior of adults. And the task of the parents is to set an example for the child with their behavior.

If the parents feel that the child chooses the "addiction" line of behavior, they must make every effort to deny their child patronage in order to accustom him to an independent life.

The basis of adolescent problems is contradiction

How to help your teenager overcome the crisis

Even very loving parents often make many mistakes in raising children. A difficult test for many is the 4-year-old crisis in children. Psychological advice received during this period is also suitable for overcoming a teenager's crisis.

Tips for Parents on How to Cope with Adolescence Crisis

• Any problem is easier to solve if you find a compromise.
• All family members must comply with the same requirements and rules. This will make your teen feel equal.
• Parents need to teach themselves to perceive the child as a person who has already taken place. When solving family issues, be sure to ask his opinion.
• Teach him how to deal with emotions and feelings by example.
• Show a sincere interest in his problems and hobbies.
• The teenager should be encouraged for success, supported in his endeavors.
• Do not compare your child with others, do not tell him that he is worse than others, support him morally in difficult situations.
• Do not evaluate negative statements by a young man or woman.

The adolescent period is the time of growing up, which begins at the age of 13, this includes a transition period of 15-16 years, a crisis of 17 years. Developmental psychology describes each year of this difficult period of mental formation and helps parents and educators understand the subtleties and nuances of adolescent behavior.

For most parents, each stage of a child's development is a kind of life lesson. Particularly problematic for the whole family is the time when the beloved child enters the difficult stage of adolescence.

Psychologically, the adolescent crisis resembles a 3-year-old crisis with the “I myself” attitude, but at a new stage it has a greater social orientation. We will consider in the article what is an adolescent crisis, what are the reasons for its manifestation and how to help a child?

What is an adolescent crisis?

Age periodization in science assigns adolescence to the period from 11 to 16 years. The crisis continues throughout the entire stage. This age is characterized by the fact that an understanding, purposeful, sociable teenager suddenly becomes withdrawn, capricious, difficult to control, prone to conflicts. Adults stop understanding how to deal with their child and how to build a relationship with him.

What happened to the teenager? What happened was that a difficult period came when childhood was left behind, and growing up was just beginning. A teenager often commits rash acts, makes unusual decisions, conflicts, tries to stay alone with his thoughts.

The adolescent crisis is driven by many factors:

• life principles and ideals are formed;
• the process of self-awareness and determination of one's own “I” develops;
• there is a conscious choice of a future profession;
• the time comes for the first love, which often has a strong impact on later life;
• begins the process of puberty and hormonal changes in the body.

Formation of the personality of a teenager requires an awareness of his place in life, an understanding of his own significance, the correct setting of priorities and the definition of ideals.

How the crisis manifests itself: causes and symptoms

The crisis of adolescence is considered acute, since there is a sharp separation of the personality and the surrounding world, accompanied by the manifestation of disharmony in mental development, a decrease in academic performance and performance.

The positive changes in this age stage should also be noted. Entering into the struggle for personal independence, a teenager realizes his needs for self-affirmation, self-knowledge and the development of self-confidence. The ability to rely on oneself, one's skills and abilities appears, which becomes a reliable basis for further struggle with difficulties.

Physiological and psychological changes in the adolescent's body are accompanied by an expansion of the range of hobbies, interests and problems. What previously did not attract the attention of a teenager is now acquiring a new deep meaning. The outlook on things is changing, habits and preferences are being revised, changes are taking place in the sphere of communication.

New communications are being created outside the home and school walls. There are a lot of new acquaintances, the teenager enters into unfamiliar, but interesting social groups for him, communication in which helps him to reveal his abilities and character traits, to understand himself and his motivation, to gain new knowledge.

There are many reasons for a teenager's personality crisis:

• What is my destiny? This question at this stage of development becomes the most significant for a teenager. He tries to understand who he really is, what his abilities are and how his future will turn out;
• Self-esteem. The teenager is trying to understand what opportunities he has for the implementation of ideas. But insufficient experience does not allow you to give a correct assessment of your personality, and this also leads to internal conflict;
• Relationship dissatisfaction. In the period of maturation, a teenager has new needs, his own understanding of the surrounding reality. Often his views and opinions are not understood and are not accepted by adults and peers;
• Self-affirmation. Comprehending his own "I", not being able to give an adequate assessment of his capabilities due to lack of experience, a teenager meets with misunderstanding and rejection from others. The desire to stand out often leads to unusual decisions that do not coincide with generally accepted norms;
• Insufficient workload with useful and interesting activities. Boredom. The adolescent period is also characterized by the fact that the learning process and the great interest in learning, which was in the elementary grades, is lost. In a rich palette of new hobbies and interests, a teenager can "get lost", because he does not yet have enough knowledge about himself, about his needs and abilities. Trying to know and reveal himself, he is fond of one type of activity, then, being disappointed, he switches to another activity. Not finding himself, a teenager often indulges in boredom.

What are the symptoms of a teenager's crisis state:

• Loss of interest in learning activities, even in areas that were of particular interest to him. Logical thinking develops, philosophical questions about the origin of the universe come to the fore, thinking is directed towards self-knowledge and assessment of one's own experiences, pushing objective reality into the background;
• Manifestation of negativism. A teenager pushes the external environment away from himself, finds himself in conflict situations, violates discipline and at the same time feels anxiety, strives for self-isolation and loneliness. Negativism is more demonstrated in boys and begins by the age of 15-16.

The phases of a child's adolescent crisis

A rather complex crisis process proceeds non-uniformly and undergoes three phases:

• negative or pre-critical. There is a reassessment of views, a restructuring of stereotypes and a change in habits;
• climax. It is characteristic of the age of thirteen, although there are individual age characteristics. All crisis symptoms are most clearly manifested here;
• postcritical. The period is characterized by the fact that new thinking is being formed, there is an awareness of oneself and one's own attitude to the surrounding reality, a new type of interpersonal relations is taking shape.

What to do for parents

The adolescent crisis does not come immediately. This is a long, gradual process. Parents should be prepared for its manifestations. You cannot behave as if nothing is happening and everything will pass spontaneously. By the age of ten, some children may have signals of a future crisis.

According to psychologists, if problems arise towards the end of adolescence, then their course and development becomes more complicated. Attentive parents may notice that the child has undergone some changes: he communicates with pleasure among peers, but has lost interest in the family, is silent for a long time at home and does not want to come into contact with relatives. This means that the teenager has entered a phase of crisis. Parents need to either seek help from specialized literature or visit a psychologist.

It is important to understand that the crisis brings not only negative experiences and processes. There is a positive side here: the manifestations of contradictions that you will notice in the behavior of the child are necessary for the disclosure of spiritual mental qualities and properties, for their further elaboration and harmonization.

Parents are advised to arm themselves with patience and to realize the complexity of the processes occurring in the psyche and body of a teenager, to create for him a favorable, trusting atmosphere at home, so that he feels that he is still loved. Mom and Dad must understand that their child has entered the stage of maturation, and now they will have to reckon with his new outlook on life.

A crisis can manifest itself in the form of:

• independence;
• dependencies.

Independence in relationships and judgments is expressed in the fact that a teenager suddenly begins to reject his environment and family, shows independence of character, violates generally accepted rules, shows self-will, does not take into account the opinions of adults, parents, and ignores their demands. Especially such symptoms appear by the age of 13-15. Straightforwardness and independence of character are not always pronounced during a crisis. Therefore, it is necessary to have patience and endurance and not to aggravate the relationship with the teenager.

Understand that it is difficult for him to cope with the emotional flow and manage feelings, it is difficult for the child's psyche to digest conflicting experiences. If you choose a confrontational relationship, this can disrupt his mental background, which will lead either to a nervous breakdown or to deaf isolation.

Listen to the "call of the soul" of your child. Reading notations, teachings, demands the same as you presented at a young age have now become unproductive and even harmful. Instead of worsening the relationship with your child, try to listen to him and talk to him “on equal terms”, taking seriously his arguments and point of view.

Another extreme of the crisis age of a teenager is his tendency to obedience, the desire to be under the care of adults all the time. Due to the imperfection of the psyche and unwillingness to grow up due to phobias, fear of difficulties, uncertainty in his ability to make independent decisions, the teenager, as it were, delays the growing up process and becomes dependent on his parents. There is a return to children's hobbies, children's forms of behavior are repeated, infantilism is seen in actions and judgments.

In fact, the dependent type of behavior is more dangerous than independence, since such an approach stops the process of personality development and increases the likelihood that an infantile, dependent on others, weak personality will form in the future.

What is the role of adults? Knowing that the child is copying the behavior of the parents, try to be an example in everything: in relation to people, circumstances, difficulties, etc. Teach children to be independent, do not resort to patronage, let the teenager solve his problems himself, and you help with advice and psychological support.

Experts' opinions

Remember what problems your child had during the crisis period of 3 years? What did you do then? Almost all of the tips and tricks that you followed then apply to adolescence. How parents should act in a difficult crisis stage of adolescent growing up

• Be attentive and sensitive to the needs of your child: accept his new friends, giving tactful advice, promote self-realization and self-affirmation, share new interests, be sensitive to romantic feelings and experiences;
• Forget that there is a child in front of you and completely reconsider your attitude towards him and the way you communicate. To understand that you have an adult, serious person in front of you and treat his opinion accordingly, be able to listen, give practical, unobtrusive advice, trust him and behave in such a way as to win his trust.
• Solve problems by finding a compromise;
• Ensure equal requirements for the implementation of the rules by all family members;
• Treat the teenager as an equal person, taking into account his opinion when making family decisions;
• Show by personal example how you can win over emotions and feelings;
• Show a genuine interest in new hobbies;
• Encourage and praise for successful endeavors and striving to reach new heights;
• Not to compare with others, but to provide moral and psychological support in every possible way;
• Do not criticize negative words or statements.

The parents are faced with the difficult task of making sure that the crisis in the child's life passes safely, so that, bypassing temporary difficulties in communication, become a true friend to their child. To do this, give your teenager more freedom and opportunities for independent choice. Modern young people are more literate, smarter, much stronger. They are mobile, sociable and purposeful. They need alternatives. They themselves are able to find the right solution, it is only necessary to subtly point out the short ways out of the problem situation.

Parents who know the peculiarities of adolescent growing up are able to help their child in a favorable overcoming of the difficult age period of personality formation. Subject to the attentive and responsible attitude of parents, a teenager will enter adulthood with a set of excellent qualities and character traits that will allow him to correctly shape the future, express himself as much as possible in educational and professional activities, harmoniously build his personal life, become a full member of society, a self-sufficient happy person.

Greetings, dear readers and creators (parents) of our future teenagers. Your child moved into middle school, and along with this you stopped recognizing him? Can you guess that the teenage period has arrived, but are not yet sure for sure? Then read this article.

I want to make a reservation right away that the material in the article is presented from the standpoint of old options for defining adolescence, and not new proposals for extending it to 24 years (so far, by the way, this has not been approved anyway).

Let me explain why. In my opinion, psychophysiological changes are primary, and these norms were established long ago. Another question is that not all people go through the stages of "switching" from one age to another in a timely manner. In this connection, we should not talk about shifting boundaries in the age classification, but about infantilism and anomalies of the modern generation.

• Representatives of the new theory operate with the idea that modern youth graduate late, but let me remind you that you can enter a university at any age.
• Another argument is late marriages. But I think that this is a sign of a change in mentality, stereotypes, gender identification and, finally, the influence of state conditions that dictate the need for a long and difficult self-realization before creating a new cell and new lives. It is not a matter of unwillingness to perform a reproductive function, but of a conscious decision made by a mature person.

That is, I believe that modern scientists propose to change the attitude towards the situation and re-interpret it as normal, and not to solve the problems observed in society.

But enough of the lyrics. Let's talk about what adolescence is in the well-established theory of psychology, which so far remains the leading one.

Literally, this period is interpreted as "turning into an adult." Adolescence is usually called the stage of life between 10 and 17 years. At the same time, there are:

• early adolescence (10-14);
• senior adolescence (15-17).

However, sometimes older age is referred to as early adolescence. The World Health Organization generally considers adolescence to be a period of 10 to 20 years. Thus, on average, adolescence lasts from 10 to 15 years.

Summary

The leading need of age is the desire for deliberate adulthood, self-affirmation.

The social developmental situation is a teenage peer.

The leading activity of the age is intimate and personal communication with peers.

Due to the surge of hormones, there is:

• increased fatigue,
• absent-mindedness,
• lethargy
• resentment.

The main neoplasms of adolescence include:

• the formation of self-concept, self-awareness, reflection;
• identification;
• awareness of individuality.

In total, in adolescence, two phases can be distinguished: negative and positive. The transition from the first to the second is considered the beginning of productive activity.

The specifics of adolescence

The transitional stage is full of contradictions, but it is they that ensure the development and formation of the personality. The main contradiction, from which this period begins, is the discrepancy between the existing tools (knowledge, experience, skills, motives) and new social situations, types of interaction with the world.

In adolescence, there is a rapid development of all aspects of the personality:

• biological (puberty and physical growth);
• psychophysiological (self-awareness, self-respect, identification);
• cognitive (thinking);
• social (relationships, behavior, worldview).

It should be noted that at the same time, each of the development areas is closely interconnected with the other. With their uneven or multidirectional development, personality contradictions arise.

Mental symptoms make themselves felt before others. Teenagers are no longer interested in children's games, but the hobbies of older teenagers are still incomprehensible. They do not yet have new ideals and full-fledged self-awareness, but they no longer want, like children, to blindly obey someone's authority.

The natural negative manifestations of age include:

• pessimistic attitude;
• increased sensitivity and irritability;
• physical and mental illness (whims and fights);
• daydreaming and uncertainty;
• ambition;
• nervousness;
• dissatisfaction with yourself.

The main risk of adolescence is deviation (addiction, suicide, crime, etc.). You can read more about teenage deviations in the article.

It should be noted that the manifestations of adolescence not only differ by gender, but also depend on a number of other factors. For example, region, place (city, village), climate, time, country, and so on. From what the presented options for the behavior and state of adolescents should be considered as the basis, but not as an obligatory truth and the only possible option for the development of personality.

Age-specific reactions

There are four reactions in adolescence:

• emancipation;
• grouping with peers;
• interest in the opposite sex;
• numerous hobbies.

Let's take a closer look at each of them.

Emancipation reaction

It is a desire to act independently. It permeates the entire life of a teenager, that is, you can observe this reaction every day. Allocate:

• emotional (care for communication with peers);
• behavioral (avoiding parental control);
• normative emancipation (denial of familiar values, search for new ones).

Grouping with peers

The peer group is a regulator of the adolescent's behavior. He is looking for self-affirmation in her.

Interest in the opposite sex

Relations with the opposite sex are twofold: on the one hand - interest, and on the other - feigned indifference.

Hobbies

There are several groups of teenage hobbies:

• intellectual and aesthetic (deep passion for something);
• bodily-manual (the purpose of training is strength and endurance);
• leadership;
• egocentric (amateur performance);
• gambling (bets);
• informative and communicative (TV, Internet, telephone).

Sexual development

It runs in two directions:

• awareness of one's own bodily sexuality;
• searching for a kindred spirit and love, romanticizing relationships.

S. Bueller noted that there is also mental puberty. It can arise long before physical maturation, and end after it. In simple terms, this is the desire to be with someone, to complement each other, which, according to the author's theory, is characteristic of all people. Thus, we can say that this is precisely the direction of romanticism, relationships without sexual connotations: conversations, spending time together.

Gender identification is one of the neoplasms of age. That is, there is a formation of sexual orientation, self-perception of the adolescent by gender. Gender identification is biological and psychological. Their discrepancy is fraught with intrapersonal conflict and disorders of sexual behavior.

Scientists noted that the development of gender identity is more influenced by the socio-cultural factor than the biological one. That is, the decisive role is assigned to the models and stereotypes cultivated in society, as well as to the conditions of the adolescent's environment.

Physical development

Teenagers grow by an average of 9 centimeters per year. There is a rapid growth of the heart muscle (length, width, volume). Changes in pressure (usually increased), heart rate. All body systems are rapidly changing.

General weakening is characteristic of modern adolescents. Despite the seeming acceleration, in comparison with adolescents of the past decades, modern girls and boys, according to the results of research by L. V. Mishchenko, in more than 80% of cases are underweight. The overall strength also decreased.

Emotional sphere

Emotional instability and inconsistency are characteristic:

• determination and impulsiveness;
• self-confidence and easy vulnerability;
• insecurity, romanticism and rationalism, cynicism.

Emotions differ in duration and intensity.

Cognitive development

There is a transition to abstract thinking, hypothetical-deductive reasoning, methods of analysis and synthesis, inferences, voluntary attention and memory. A teenager can:

• see perspectives;
• focus on a possible future;
• analyze your own behavior;
• think hypothetically;
• plan for the future;
• move from the general to the particular;
• memorize material using mnemonic techniques.

Personal development

A sense of maturity is characteristic of adolescents. Their adulthood can be of the following nature:

• imitative (the simplest, but dubious way: imitation of appearance);
• exemplary (striving to be like a "real woman", "a real man");
• social (cooperation with adults, participation in family life, society);
• intellectual (self-education, additional search for scientific information).

In adolescence, the old value orientations are scrapped and new guidelines are sought or created.

Self-awareness is formed through egocentrism, which is overcome by cognition of peers (communication). Initially, egocentrism manifests itself in two ways:

• feeling like an actor and perceiving the world as a stage;
• conviction in the uniqueness of their emotions.

Peer communication and love

Communication with peers is the leading activity of adolescence. Parents need to accept that the old trust with their child will disappear. However, it can be earned again if you change the tactics of interaction and recognize an equal partner in your child.

But communication with peers still comes to the fore. It performs a number of important functions:

• transfer of the experience of growing up, discussion (especially relevant for the sexual sphere);
• gender identification (assimilation of roles, stereotypes, preferences, identification of orientation);
• psychotherapeutic function (the teenager releases his emotional experiences);
• emancipation from parents.

Love is very important for teenagers. Love has 3 components:

• Platonic,
• erotic,
• sexual component.

Only the combination of all three ensures harmony in a relationship. This does not happen in adolescence yet. Boys, as a rule, have an erotic character, and girls - a platonic one. Nevertheless, through the relationship, the teenager prepares for the future role of husband (wife), father (mother).

Age objectives

In the process of adolescence, for successful socialization in the future, a teenager needs to successfully solve a number of problems. In which support and help from parents will be invaluable. However, it is important to remember that we can only talk about cooperation. So, what are these age tasks.

1. Acceptance of your appearance.
2. Successful gender identification (assimilation of male and female roles accepted in society).
3. Changing the style and forms of communication with peers.
4. Establishing a new style of relationship with parents (equal cooperation).
5. Development of professional interests and abilities for further professional orientation in adolescence.
6. Acceptance and assimilation of mature behavior that presupposes responsibility and initiative.

If all these points regarding a teenager at the stage of completion of the age period can be answered in the affirmative, it means that his transitional age was successful.

Maladjustment

Disadaptation, that is, problems with accepting a new social situation and entering it, is a normative phenomenon of adolescence. This arises against the background of the uneven development of the spheres of the personality. Disadaptation manifests itself:

• critical of yourself and others;
• hypersensitivity;
• vulnerability;
• aggressiveness;
• instability of desires and moods;
• intrapersonal conflicts (the most popular is "Who am I?").

The teenager seeks to know himself, hence the craving for peers (clubs of interest, subcultures, multiple acquaintances). That is, a teenager receives information about himself by looking at his peers.

All adolescents are researchers. They study the world, themselves, other people. Sometimes introspection takes an extreme version and turns into self-digging, self-flagellation.

• It was experimentally revealed that anxious, insecure, uncommunicative, withdrawn, over-controlling and guilty adolescents have problems with adaptation.
• The average level of adaptation was noted in unstable adolescents with an average level of self-control, inclined to dominance and aggression.
• Confident, sociable, non-anxious adolescents with adequate self-esteem and a level of self-control are distinguished by successful adaptation.

Sometimes normative maladjustment is delayed, and then, as a rule, we are talking about.

Teenage crisis

Teenage crisis is a relative concept:

• some researchers believe that this is the entire period of transitional age;
• someone takes the first year for this;
• and someone believes that this is an individual phenomenon that may arise at any time during adolescence or not at all.

For example, psychologist L. S. Vygotsky at the stage of adolescence (adolescence) identified two crises - 13 years and 17 years. The first crisis marks the transition from childhood to adolescence, the second - from adolescence to youth.

Simply put, the adolescent crisis is the peak of emotional activity, hormonal release, and personal development. The extreme version of the crisis is.

Thus, an adolescent crisis is a manifestation of an intrapersonal conflict, formed under the influence of external factors (parenting style) and internal (discrepancy between the needs of a teenager and the possibilities of meeting them).

If parents act pedagogically competently, then deviations, affective outbursts and conflicts can be avoided. True, it is important not to confuse the smooth course of adolescence with a specific crisis. Some children, on the contrary, become too self-contained, which is dangerous with depression and suicide.

If we talk about the primary crisis of early adolescence (the transition from childhood to adolescence), then it has two main features:

• decreased performance, school performance (due to the ongoing change in the type of thinking);
• negativism (negative behavioral reactions caused by the desire for emancipation).

1. While adolescents tend to move away from their families, it is important to support them. Teenagers need support and unobtrusive advice from an adult in difficult times. However, it is important for parents to eliminate edification, suspicion and strict control.
2. The child's ability to love depends on the relationship between parents and children that has developed up to adolescence. And first love is an important feeling for a person. A loving relationship is essential. This is the only way a teenager will be able to recognize himself and the opposite sex in order to build a family in the future.
3. When interacting with a teenager, it is important to remember that there is no perfect relationship. There are "good enough", as they say in psychology. That is, you need to learn to empathize with your child, recognize his individuality and personality.
4. Adolescents occupy a marginal, that is, borderline position, the same happens with adults. When interacting with a teenager (half-child-half-adult), you need to act as a parent and an equal partner at the same time.
5. You should not try to inspire respect for you with the help of a sense of duty ("we feed you, raise you, drink") or age ("I am older"). So you will only meet protest. The child must come to respect you on his own, based on parental support. You need to accept the child, not focus on his shortcomings. Understand, do not judge.
6. If a teenager talks about something, then it is important for him. Phrases from parents like “Don't go crazy. This is really a problem! Here I have ... "," Stop suffering nonsense "and the like. Listen to the child and help solve the problem. If you are convinced that his problem is a trifle, then it means that you can help him quickly get rid of him. Teach your teenager (with facts and arguments, actions) to consider this a trifle too.

Remembering the new principle of interaction is simple:

• not orders, but requests;
• not notations, but wishes;
• not control, but please inform, and so on.

There is no optimal and uniform style. After all, your child is one and only. You yourself must build relationships based on general principles, age and personality characteristics of your child.

Most of the scandals and whims in the relationship between parents and adolescents are explained by the unwillingness of parents (or lack of understanding of the need) to change the usual style of interaction. To study the essence of whims and restructuring relationships, I recommend reading the book by E. N. Korneeva “Children's whims. What is it and how to deal with it ”. The book examines in detail all age crises (including adolescent) and the most popular conflicts between children and parents.

How to promote positive child behavior

The information presented below is relevant for overcoming and preventing deviations, correction. That is, these are the basic principles of parenting behavior for the successful passage of adolescence for their child.

1. Invite a teenager for a dialogue. The banal and simple "let's talk?"
2. Praise on every occasion. Praise and abuse should not be combined. Due to natural age-related negativism, a teenager will not notice the praise, but will take note only of censure.
3. Together with the teenager, write the desired styles of behavior (relevant for both parties), discuss them.
4. It is important to set real and clear boundaries, prohibitions and punishments. It is not uncommon for teenagers to test their parents for the strength and value of their word. Keep any promises and do not say: "I will kill you" (after all, you will not kill, I hope). Here "For a day I will have to turn off the Internet" sounds much better and more realistic.
5. Do not demand instant execution of the request. The teenager should be given 5-10 minutes for reflection and inner reflection.
6. Subtly remind you of your teen's responsibilities.
7. Always offer an alternative (or at least keep one ready).
8. Focus on positive and desirable phenomena, ignore undesirable ones.
9. Agree on the penalty in advance. It doesn't make sense to come up with a censure after a teenager hasn't slept unannounced at home. He had to know all the risks and consequences in advance.

Critical situations

In adolescence, unfortunately, situations that are extremely dangerous for the child himself and his environment are often encountered:

• crime,
• dependencies,
• depression and suicide,
• psychosomatic diseases.

These are dangerous conditions that require immediate attention to a specialist. To prevent them, it is important to avoid destructive parenting styles and to prevent deviations in adolescents.

In conclusion, I recommend reading the book by O. V. Kholodkovskaya, V. A. Pashnina "Difficult transitional age: An easy solution to complex problems." The work devotes a whole chapter to a detailed consideration of these problems (signs, practical advice).

So, adolescence is a difficult stage for parents and a child. But if you pass it successfully, you will get a good interlocutor, companion, support, understanding.

You can learn about gender differences in the course of adolescence from articles and.

I wish you an understanding with your wonderful offspring!

The difficulty of adolescence consists not only of the above-mentioned features of this period, but also in the emergence of adolescent crises, such as:

• - pubertal crisis
• - identity crisis.

Overcoming them is one of the important conditions for the formation of the correct social, non-aggressive behavior of a teenager.

Let's start with the pubertal crisis.

Puberty crisis is the puberty of a child.

Puberty depends on the work of the endocrine glands, which begin to produce hormones that cause changes in the structure of the body. First of all, the pituitary gland and the thyroid gland begin to work actively (they activate the work of the other glands). Intensive development begins, both physical and physiological: the child is gaining weight, begins to grow rapidly. Boys have a period of active growth: from 13 to 15 years (sometimes up to 17-18), and girls: from 11 to 13-15 years. Extremities increase in size - arms, feet and head grow to the size of an adult.

Highlighted:

primary sexual characteristics - the growth of mammary glands in girls, the development of muscles in boys;

secondary sexual characteristics - a change in the timbre of the voice: in boys, it becomes lower (they cannot take high notes), in girls, on the contrary, there is an increase in timbre.

Difficulties begin in the normal functioning of internal organs (heart, lungs) - pressure drops, frequent changes in physical conditions appear.

Emotional instability occurs due to physical instability. The child is going through a "hormonal storm" and at the same time adapting to changes in his body. The first sexual attraction appears - in girls it is expressed in the need for love, care, respect. But adolescents cannot fully understand the reason for these attractions.

More accurate ideas about masculinity and femininity appear - from this there is dissatisfaction with their appearance, excessive picky about their body (because it has changed unusually). Due to the disproportionality of the body, adolescents consider themselves clumsy, believe that they have incorrect facial features, the appearance of defects on the skin. All this leads to the formation of their new physical "I", which, as written above, is not always pleasant to adolescents.

As an example, we can cite girls who are trying to lose weight in order to comply with generally accepted concepts of beauty. They go on a strict diet, not thinking that during this period their body needs good nutrition, and bring themselves to complete physical exhaustion - to anorexia.

The next crisis that appears in adolescence is the identity crisis (E. Erickson's term).

The basis of this process is the self-determination of the individual. The formation of identity, which takes place more actively in adolescence and adolescence, does not pass without a change in systemic social ties, in relation to which the adolescent must develop a definite opinion. The difficulty is:

• - clarify your role in society
• - to understand personal, unique interests, abilities that will give life purposefulness and meaning.

Almost every life situation requires a person to make a certain choice, which he can only make when he understands his position in relation to different spheres of life. Identity includes personal and social identity. In the concept of identity, there are two types of characteristics: positive - what a teenager should become, and negative - what he should not become.

If the formation of identity occurs in a socially prosperous environment and with mutual understanding between a teenager and relatives (parents, classmates), then this will contribute to the formation of a normal, not underestimated self-esteem and the development of a full-fledged personality. The choice of patterns of behavior largely depends on the circle of communication. With an unfavorable social circle, the more unrealistic these patterns of "positive" behavior are, the more difficult it is for a teenager to experience an identity crisis and the more conflicts he has with others. Acquisition of personal identity by a teenager is a multi-level process with a certain structure, consisting of several phases that differ both in the psychological content of the value-volitional aspect of personality development, and in the nature of the problematic of life difficulties experienced by the individual.

Some reasons for the identity crisis:

• - overestimating one's capabilities (striving for independence and independence, selfishness and increased sensitivity), criticality towards adults (acute reaction to attempts by relatives and friends to “humiliate” their dignity, underestimate their adulthood - all this can lead to serious conflicts;
• - fear of being misunderstood, rejected by peers;
• - depersonalization - the loss of one's “I”, loneliness, a feeling of uselessness, this leads to increased reflection. Some scientists believe that depersonalization is a kind of pathology (since it can lead to complete alienation from the world, because the teenager feels insecure) - this is the main cause of adolescent crises.

Summing up, we can say that the crisis of adolescence is a completely normal phenomenon that tells us about the development of personality, but in the presence of various unfavorable conditions, this crisis state can lead to aggressive behavior.

Raising a child is not an easy daily job. It is impossible to do it only from eight to eight or on weekends when you have free time. The paradox of parenting is that even when it seems to you that you are not doing anything to educate your child at a given moment in time, this process happens by itself. The child sensitively absorbs the behavior of the parents, their attitude to the world and life values. And if in early childhood you do not even think about how correctly you are raising your offspring, the main thing is that he is obedient, then during the crisis of adolescence, all the problems and shortcomings of parenting are instantly revealed.

What is an adolescent crisis?

The adolescent crisis is the latest and most difficult child crisis. This is the period of the child's entry into adulthood, the rethinking of the moral values ​​laid down by the parents and their own life guidelines. This stage is always difficult for the child himself and his loved ones. In some cases, the relationship between parents and adolescent children is destroyed to the ground literally overnight, and in order to restore them, it takes many decades of painstaking work on themselves. What do you need to know to help your child get through a teen crisis? What are the causes of the adolescent crisis? How to recognize the onset of an adolescent crisis? How to behave in different situations? Let's try to answer the questions of concern to many parents.

Many parents may miss the beginning of the crisis, but its peak is hard to miss. The child becomes irritable, whiny and insecure. He has complexes about his appearance, new friends and secrets. It is difficult to come to an agreement with a teenager; he rejects any proposals of his parents, even if he really wants to agree with them. Quite often, school performance deteriorates in children, and they try to spend all their free time outside the walls of their home in the company of their peers and older young people. The onset of the adolescent crisis ranges from 11 to 13 years. Girls who begin to mature earlier than their male classmates experience a crisis at the age of 11-12. Boys' parents are faced with all the "delights" of adolescence a little later, at the age of 13-14.

Causes of the adolescent crisis

In general, psychologists identify two reasons for the adolescent crisis:

• hormonal
• intrafamily

The main reason for the dramatic changes in a teenager is the hormones raging in his body. During this period, their release into the blood increases by 40-50%. Never in the future will the body produce hormones so actively, therefore, very often a teenager is called a "hormonal bomb". Testosterone in boys and estrogen in girls cause adolescent bodies to grow and change rapidly:

• every year the child adds in growth by 10-20%;
• the heart also increases in size and begins to work with increased stress;
• rapid growth provokes various diseases - from joint problems to temporary blindness;
• the child begins to suffer from increased fatigue;
• primary and secondary sexual characteristics appear;
• there is a breaking of the voice in boys.

Of course, all these changes cannot but affect the psycho-emotional state of a teenager. The child perceives every new change in his body with hostility. It is becoming more and more difficult for him to accept himself, besides, rebellious hormones shatter an already vulnerable psyche, especially if family relationships are far from ideal.

The family plays a very contradictory role in the life of a teenager. On the one hand, he is still a child and really needs love, warmth and understanding. On the other hand, a teenager strives with all his might to break away from the family "nest" and boldly step into adulthood. Parents' behavior during this period should mitigate the manifestations of the adolescent crisis, but, unfortunately, most parents are not ready for the sudden maturation of their children. This leads to serious conflicts in the family up to the teenager leaving home. More often than not, it is the family who is fanning the fire of the crisis, bringing it to the point of complete absurdity. Of course, it is very difficult to remain a wise and patient parent when your child becomes rude and aggressive, but without this it is very difficult to maintain a warm relationship with a growing offspring.

Features of the adolescent crisis

The teenage crisis can be roughly divided into three stages, each of which has a number of features and nuances:

1. Precritical stage

Usually, parents just miss the onset of this stage. The child is just beginning to change, but this is still not very noticeable to others. He becomes more attentive to everything that happens around him. Any problem, even the most insignificant, he tries to solve with the help of logic, using different approaches. The teenager feels a craving for thoughtful philosophizing on everyday topics, he likes to lead his parents to long conversations. He ardently disputes their opinion and attitude towards life, does so categorically and politely. During this period, the first symptoms of a deterioration in academic performance may appear, but most often these are isolated cases of low grades. The child begins to defend his opinion within the family, demands that he be consulted on various issues. Usually, all these manifestations of the crisis of adolescence are perceived by parents slightly condescending and even with some emotion. They do not perceive them as the beginning of a difficult period in the formation of the child's personality, which they will have to go through together over the next two years.

1. Peak stage

It starts quite unexpectedly for the parents and the teenager himself. Suddenly, family discussions give way to screams and aggression. The teenager begins to act willfully, proving with every action that he does not need parental advice and attention. He not only criticizes their life goals, but completely rejects them, although he can hardly provide them with any worthy alternative. The opinion of peers, especially of the same gender, gains special weight. The teenager seeks to win his place in the team and uses all possible and known methods for this. In parallel with external rudeness and aggression, the child becomes overly sensitive and vulnerable. He is offended by the slightest requests, he reacts painfully to any criticism addressed to him. There are cases when criticism of parents regarding the mental abilities of a child led to attempts at suicide. During this period, communication with a teenager becomes an almost unbearable test - any conversation ends in tears and scandal.

1. Post-critical stage

This period can be considered the final one in the adolescent crisis. The child is trying to rebuild his relationship with the world around him. The motto of this stage can be the phrase “I myself!”. The teenager wants to do everything on his own. He longs for freedom, but, often, he simply does not know what to do with it. And the more reasonable freedom he receives from his parents, the sooner his struggle for his rights will end. Most often, this period includes the first love, which lays the foundations for relationships with the opposite sex for life, and the first cigarette, and the first victories in life, which the teenager puts in his "piggy bank". Relationships with parents begin to gradually align and harmonize. The child builds them up as an adult, demanding respect for his life principles.

Each of the stages of the adolescent crisis lasts for a certain period of time. It depends on many factors:

• the gender of the teenager;
• education;
• relationship with parents;
• family atmosphere;
• the depth of manifestation of the crisis in the peak stage, etc.

Experts note, in especially difficult cases, the protraction of the adolescent crisis to 18-19 years. Many adolescents enter adulthood without going through all the stages of the crisis in turn. They stop at one of them and already in their independent life try to solve a heap of accumulated problems that prevent them from showing themselves in the role of an adult.

The problem of the adolescent crisis

Adults very often think that all the problems of adolescents are far-fetched. In fact, this is not the case. The child is faced with really serious and insurmountable situations for him. Moreover, it comes across for the first time, without the experience and tools to solve them. He is just beginning to take timid steps into adulthood, which lay the foundation for his personal development. Let's try to highlight several main problems of the adolescent crisis:

1. Fight for freedom

At almost the entire stage of his growing up, a child fights for freedom. This process begins with the first independent steps of the baby and ends when the child begins to live separately from his family. The struggle for freedom is the most natural process of the formation and development of a personality, but, unfortunately, parents do not always share the desire of their children for independence. Many parents are so afraid to give some freedom to their children that they control their every step: they browse the computer, social networks, phones, set strict rules, etc. All these parenting methods only exacerbate family relationships and embitter the teenager. Parents should accept their child as an adult who has the right to freedom and privacy as they wish. Try to give the teenager the so-called "safe" freedom, harmonizing it with a number of responsibilities. For example, do not forbid your child to spend his free time with peers where he wants, but oblige him to answer any of your phone calls immediately and come home at a specified time. So the child will learn to be more responsible and will begin to perceive adult life not only as a fairy tale of unlimited freedom.

1. The first love

Most likely, every adult remembers this painfully delicious feeling of first falling in love, which burned his heart for the rest of his life. Relationships with the opposite sex during adolescence attract and scare at the same time. On the one hand, a teenager experiences a strong craving for the opposite sex, caused by a surge in hormones. On the other hand, he has no experience in this area, which provokes aggression and isolation. It is very difficult to help a child cope with this problem. Unfortunately, he has to "fill his bumps" and get his invaluable experience, which will help him in the future. The task of parents is simply to be there and support at a difficult moment with advice, and sometimes just sympathy.

1. Opinion about yourself

One of the biggest problems of adolescent crisis is the child's opinion of himself. Low self-esteem is the root of the evil of many of the actions of a teenager. Most often, he is dissatisfied with absolutely everything:

• face shape;
• figure;
• hair;
• foot size;
• growth;
• skin color;
• timbre of voice;
• mental abilities, etc ..

The teenager does not notice the pluses in himself, but he intensively cultivates the minuses, both fictional and real. All attempts to persuade a child usually do not lead to anything, and parents often give up, hoping that over time everything will change. Unfortunately, it will not change. The task of the parents is to constantly tell the teenager about his positive qualities, to praise and help in improving his appearance. With the girl, you can go to a beauty salon and go shopping to teach her how to choose the right clothes. It would be good to enroll a boy in a gym or a swimming pool, physical activity will help the figure to form faster, according to the male type.

The teenage crisis is a difficult stage for any family, which can only be overcome by showing boundless love and tenderness towards your growing up child. Parents who love their child, and also have a trusting and warm relationship with him from early childhood, are more likely to successfully cope with their child's adolescent crisis. And the teenager himself in such a family will find it much easier to get through this difficult period of his life.