How many wives cheat on their husbands? The woman is cheating - the family is dying Three friends decided to cheat on their

Hello Vika! I didn't think that at the age of 58 I would have to go to a psychologist, I thought that I could cope with any problem myself. But life turned so abruptly that I was on the verge of complete collapse. There is no one to consult with, so he took up the pen, as they say.

But I'll start with the events of 34 years ago. In 1974 I graduated from the institute and married my girlfriend. But literally a month later he got into the army. I was 24, Lena - 21 years old, I missed her terribly, and my wife came to me a month later. I rented a room from a local granny for three days in advance, and they let me out of the unit for the night. The result of this trip was the birth of our daughter Larisa, now she already has two of her children. This was the only visit of my wife to the army, because I was soon transferred to serve very far from Moscow - to Chita. I saw my daughter when she was already more than two years old. After the army, we had two more sons. Lena and I lived normally. Of course, sometimes they quarreled, but what family can do without it? I did not cheat on my wife even in my thoughts, and Lena did not give reason to doubt her. But a month ago I made a terrible discovery. It turns out that the eldest daughter is not my own. I found out about it by chance - I was looking for my award certificates in a suitcase among old papers in order to apply for a Veteran of Labor social security report, and came across a letter from many years ago addressed to my wife. Some of her friends wrote that a certain Sasha had thought of everything, was very sorry about their breakup and was ready to accept Lena and his (!) Daughter Larisa at any time. This friend advised his wife to leave me, because this Sasha supposedly settled down very well in life and is even going to go to work abroad.

I cannot tell you what feelings and emotions overwhelmed me. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. But he pulled himself together and found the strength to talk to his wife. She admitted that when I was in the army, she met in a cafe, where she ran with a friend, with one guy, fell in love with him to such an extent that she was ready to leave me. That supposedly at that moment she was already pregnant by me, but she told the guy that the child was from him, she wanted to tie him up. But he began to play up, said that he was not yet ready for family life. In a word, she realized that he really did not love her, broke up with him and was glad that she recklessly did not tell me about her frivolous hobby. She cried, said that everything happened because of her youth and stupidity, that she values our family.

I said that I would think it over and give her an answer, began to sleep separately and now constantly think about what to do. It is very difficult to get a divorce - you need to solve housing problems, somehow explain everything to the children. Vika, I would be ready to forgive her, but I can't get rid of the thought that if she hid her betrayal from me all her life, maybe Larisa is deceiving her daughter as well, and not mine? How do you know? If you do a genetic examination, you need to explain everything to your daughter, a grandiose quarrel will begin. If it turns out that both Lara and her beloved grandchildren are not mine, how can I survive? I already went to a psychologist. He told me to leave everything as it is. But living in such uncertainty is also painful. What do you recommend?

Anton, Moscow city

Dear Anton! Adultery is always the most difficult test, both for the "victim" and for the "culprit." Sometimes it is difficult to understand who is going through such a situation more difficult. In your case, a lot is changing "over the years."

After living a long life together, you know your spouse like no one else. In any case, he should feel if her remorse is sincere. And if so, try to understand and forgive her. A young girl, left for three long years without a loved one, could not resist persistent courtship. And then I realized that it was not love, but just love. Most likely, she forgot about that romance a long time ago. And I loved you with all my soul, without even thinking to leave, since I decided to give birth to two more children. Of course, now there is a bleeding wound in your soul, it will not heal immediately, but I am sure that it is quite possible to save your marriage. But so that the shadow of that long-standing betrayal does not darken your future relationship, I would advise you to dot the i's and still carry out a DNA test. If your wife is not deceiving you, let her talk to her daughter herself. In the end, Larisa is already an adult and must understand everything correctly.

Girlfriend Boyfriend Has Yellow Cock

Hello Vika! My friend and I are very close in everything, we always share secrets. Including discussing our personal life.

And somehow, having talked about sex, she showed personal pictures with her boyfriend. To be honest, I was horrified. Her young man's penis was yellow! As if it had been smeared with iodine! I am very much afraid for the health of my friend! After all, this jaundice color does not bode well? Or I'm wrong?

Sincerely, Svetlana

Dear Svetlana! First, my advice is to never tell your friends about your intimate life. Even small children from the age of five begin to understand that some topics are highly personal and it is indecent to talk about them with strangers.

The fact that your friend is extremely frank with you does not at all oblige you to behave the same way. Women's friendship, especially in adolescence, is an extremely unstable concept. What if you quarrel, and all information about you becomes the property of other people? As a result, you will turn into a general ridicule, become an object of gossip. So why take the risk? In addition, people who share with others the smallest details of their personal lives can unwittingly alienate a friend or girlfriend. Personal life is called so because it is not intended for other people's eyes and ears.

As for your question, don't worry. If the guy didn’t pin up and didn’t paint his penis on purpose, then this color is most likely a trace of a poor-quality condom, which he took off just before the photo shoot.

The most unpleasant and destructive event of the relationship is the betrayal of one of the spouses. It is generally accepted that men are unfaithful to their wives, with which the weaker sex must come to terms in order not to leave children without fathers. However, men can also face the infidelity of their wives. The male site, the site will not say that you need to calmly treat your wife's betrayal, which will make it easy to get through it. It is unlikely that someone managed to maintain peace of mind when the deception of the second half was recognized. However, one should not "break wood" in this regard either.

Psychologists call betrayal one of the human tragedies. She is in second place after the death of loved ones. Everyone who is faced with the betrayal of the other half experiences many emotions that may even contradict each other:

One man may hate his wife, whom he loved very much yesterday.
The second man will feel fear of losing the relationship along with disgust for his partner's body.
The third man may feel a sense of emptiness with the desire to return everything back.

How a man will behave after the news that his wife has changed will depend solely on him. Psychologists can advise and friends can suggest. However, the man will do what is convenient for him.

Before deciding what to do with female infidelity, answer yourself one question: When will you feel most comfortable? There are various ways to solve the problem:

Go away.
Save a relationship.
Formally divorce, but continue dating.
Get away, but let the woman run after you.
Do not leave, but at the same time give the opportunity to walk to the left.

Many men believe that female infidelity is considered the final stage of their relationship. The fact is that men can change at the level of physiology. That is, they only get sex, while absolutely not ceasing to respect and value their spouses. However, if a woman begins to walk, then this most often means that she no longer experiences anything for her man. However, this is a misconception.

A woman may not love her spouse. However, this does not mean that she is ready to part with him. The wife can stay with her husband for some benefit, for example, if she is on his support. Thus, female infidelity does not mean that it is time to leave. She simply stopped loving her husband, but this does not mean that she is ready to divorce him.

First reaction

Since men are distinguished by their furious and stormy first reaction to the news that they are being cheated on, psychologists give such advice on how to behave:

Stay alone with yourself. There is no need to go for a walk around the women, there is no need to wash down the grief with alcohol, it is not recommended to meet with friends in order to pour out your grief to them and get support. It is better to be left alone with your thoughts and experiences, which will allow a man to understand what he really wants and what to do next with the relationship.
Think about why your wife cheated on you. Why is this needed? This question naturally arises for a person when he is faced with betrayal. Even if you decide to divorce your wife, answering this question will help you understand how to avoid cheating in the future when you are dating another woman. Sometimes it turns out that wives cheat, because their husbands create certain conditions for this: they do not like, beat, cheat themselves, do not pay enough attention, are constantly absent at home, etc. If a man himself has become a provocateur of female infidelity, which, of course, does not exclude the guilt of the woman herself, this will allow him to understand and forgive his wife and no longer make mistakes.
Decide what to do with the relationship. You can get a divorce, which is the easiest solution. If you feel an inner urge to leave, then follow your desires. However, if you still love your wife, then divorce will not be a solution that will bring you relief. Sometimes you need to maintain a relationship in order to solve the problem of cheating.
Understand what is happening to you. Now pay attention to your own feelings. You probably feel anger and rage. You want to crush, beat faces, revenge and destroy. However, understand that after a few days, the feelings will pass, and the consequences of your actions may be impossible to eliminate. You can hit your wife, but you will be ashamed of it when you cool down. You can fill the face of her lover, but over time you will understand that it was not him who had to take revenge. Just be aware of your feelings, do not shut yourself off from them, but also do not let them dictate your behavior.

Reasons for female infidelity

Why did your wife decide to cheat? A man should understand that a woman who is cheating for the first time cannot decide on a treacherous act for a very long time. Here you should see that this happened in your relationship for a very long period, because of which the wife was convinced every day that she could cheat on her husband. Consider some of the reasons for female infidelity:

She takes revenge. If a husband is cheating on his wife, then soon she may herself want to cheat on him. Resentment can be more than just cheating. A husband can insult his wife, beat him, ignore, etc. All this offends and forces a woman to seek solace on the side.
She fell in love. If feelings and hormones have not played between spouses for a long time, then a woman may simply succumb to her own emotions, which suddenly arose when she drew attention to another man.
She is looking for sexual satisfaction. If the husband never satisfies his wife, rarely has sex with her, does not make sex diverse and interesting, then the wife may seek satisfaction on the side.
She is looking for a certain sensation. These sensations can be love, a feeling of being needed, attention to oneself, etc. If a man no longer pays attention to his wife, takes it for granted, then a woman may feel the need to receive certain feelings.
She just relaxed. This applies to those betrayals that are one-time. A woman could be wrong if she really changed once.
She remembered the past. Often, women cheat with their exes, with whom they accidentally met, phoned or wrote off. Past feelings may re-emerge, a woman may think that she is still in love. Most often, in such situations, just passion is raging, which can arise between former lovers.
She gets what her husband does not give her. Anything can be here.

Cheating on the part of the wife may be the result of the negative influence of her friends, who can themselves cheat on their husbands or be free women, therefore sleep with a large number of men. If your spouse has not yet walked up, then she may succumb to the influence of such stories of her girlfriends.

You should also pay attention to the fact that there are women who want to be equal with men. If men are considered polygamous, then women also begin to identify themselves as polygamous women. If men cheat and everything is forgiven them, then women may want to change and be forgiven.

What shouldn't you do?

Since the first time after the news of his wife's betrayal, a man is on emotions, he can make many mistakes. What not to do, consider further:

You should not beg your wife to return, threaten her or her lover, persuade to stay, kneel down. This will not only ruin your relationship, but it will humiliate you as well.
Don't seek support from your friends. Undoubtedly, you want to tell the whole world about your grief, so that all people will take your side, and poke a finger in the direction of your wife. But what do you get from this? Friends will give you advice that may not be helpful in your case.
You shouldn't take revenge. The lover is not guilty of anything at all. And your wife, after your revenge, will definitely not return to you. If you are ready to part forever or make yourself an enemy, then take revenge.
Don't blame yourself for everything. Of course, you could influence the fact that the wife decided to cheat. However, it was her decision to change. You didn't put it under your lover.
Don't act on emotions. As long as you are hateful and aggressive, you will only do things for which you will be ashamed. It is better to allow yourself to cool down, and then think about what to do next.
Don't avoid socializing with your spouse. Give her the opportunity to explain her behavior, especially if you still want to stay with her deep down.
Don't say whatever you think until you calm down.

You must be reliably aware of your wife's betrayal. If you are not sure, but heard rumors, then do not believe it. You need to have irrefutable evidence that clearly indicates that something needs to be done with the relationship with your wife.

Analyze what happened

If you find out about your wife's cheating, try to analyze what happened to understand how to cope with the cheating and what to do next.

Has your wife cheated once or has it become a constant occurrence? How much does she repent of what she had done, or is treason her natural desire and demeanor?
Are there extenuating circumstances such as stress or depression?
What did the wife want to achieve by her betrayal? Perhaps she simply could not reach you in other ways when she spoke about her desires, which she is now realizing with her lover.
How does a wife behave after infidelity? She repents, asks for forgiveness or continues to walk, believes that she did everything right.

Consider all the circumstances when committing treason, as this will allow you to make the right decision in the situation that has happened.

How do you end up cheating on your wife?

It is difficult to calmly react to the betrayal of his wife, so psychologists give advice on how to survive what happened:

Understand why your wife did this. Here you can see your mistakes, which can be avoided in the future, so as not to face betrayal again.
Take the blame on yourself. Cheating is the result of a dysfunctional relationship that a husband and wife build together.
Why is a lover better than you? The wife chose him, because he gives her what you do not give. Understand what it is.
Do not involve children in the incident. Even if you get divorced, children should not suffer from the breakdown in the relationship between wife and husband.

It is up to the man to decide whether to stay with his wife or divorce. Imagine the future that you will come to in this or that case. In what future are you ready to live and feel happy?

I will start with the well-known statement, somewhat paradoxical for readers who are struggling to solve the disturbing problem that has arisen before them: “There is no such thing as female infidelity. There is either revenge for male betrayal, or new love. " In other words, either you caused your wife incredible pain, or she just stopped loving you and fell in love with another. But this is another question, we may return to it at the end of the article, or next time. Let's all the same turn to our main topic and identify the signs of betrayal of his wife. So, what do you do if an all-consuming worm of doubt grinds you down: is your wife cheating on you or not?

The most obvious signs of a cheating wife

Women, due to the character traits given to her by nature, are more resourceful and cunning than men. But in bed, they are more emotional and sensual compared to the strong half of humanity. This is what "destroys" them when they try to hide their betrayal. Fulfilling their marital duties, they become unpredictable in sex: violent bouts of love alternate with unexpected coldness and incomprehensible apathy. This is the first and, perhaps, the most obvious sign of his wife's betrayal. It should also be added, although this is quite rare, that a wife who has cheated on you unexpectedly proposes and extols in the usual act of your marital intimacy something completely different that has never happened between you before: a new love position, new intimate words, new affection and others. unusual acts of a sexual nature.
Of course, every woman is most concerned about her appearance, how she looks at work, especially at any festive event. But suddenly, with some surprise, you began to notice that she began to spend much more time in front of the mirror, began to intensively replenish and improve her wardrobe, almost not worrying about the state of the family budget. She has not asked you for a long time about how she looks in this or that update. She is no longer interested in your opinion. The most notable changes concern the wearing of underwear. A great variety of fashionable and expensive bras, panties, T-shirts appear in her wardrobe. She clearly wants someone to like her very much, and this worries her to the highest degree. This is the second sign of marital infidelity that will help you make sure your wife is cheating.
Further, in terms of its significance, there follows such a sign of a wife's betrayal as a sudden change in behavioral psychology. She became unrecognizable and incomprehensible in her actions and statements. Your wife has become incredibly irritable, often her, to put it mildly, displeasure manifests itself because of trifles to which she previously did not pay any attention. Moreover, her irritability is connected precisely with you, with your actions, habits, words that, incredibly, but in fact, she liked in the recent past.
The next confirmation of your suspicions as to whether your wife is faithful to you or not is her frequent and late return home from work. That's right! Regardless of whether she fell in love with another, or is seized with a desire to take revenge on you for your betrayal, she needs to date her lover! It is here that almost never before occurring "affairs outside the family and at home" arise. This is a systemic delays for a good reason after work, more frequent business trips (most often for 2-3 days), urgent problems with friends, for some reason requiring an indispensable "overnight" with them, obligatory trips to suddenly ill relatives and a number of other other reasons requiring her absence for at least one day or night. At the same time, her explanations in response to your just reproaches in these cases are not half-hearted. She is suddenly inexplicably tender with you, or, on the contrary, harsh and categorical. The words “you are the best of men”, “you are my darling” alternate with rude phrases “none of your business, leave me alone”, “what difference does it make to you where I was” and the like.
To your amazement, at some point you realized that your wife stopped asking you, and sometimes even began to forbid you to meet her after work, or at the station after returning from a business trip, or after a trip to relatives. But before that, it was the subject and cause of your frequent quarrels and quarrels. Did your wife really understand that you also have urgent business and began to try to bother you less. How naive and trusting many men are! How often we wishful thinking. It is not difficult to understand that her lover, whose existence is carefully hidden from you, is fulfilling this, to someone else, pleasant, but to someone already bored, family duty. This is the fifth sign of a cheating wife.
The sixth sign is her cell phone. Previously, he could be anywhere: on her pillow in the bedroom, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, or even lost somewhere in the most different corners of your house. Previously, your wife repeatedly asked you to call her number to find your cell phone by sound, there was a time when you could easily take her phone to call someone when you ran out of units. And now he is constantly with her, no matter what she does, wherever she is. This is explained quite simply: she is simply afraid that you can pay attention to constant incoming calls and SMS from the same number, or, God forbid, take the phone instead of her when HE calls or HIS gentle message comes. And one more thing: during conversations with HIM, she is content with monosyllabic "Yes" or "No", which contrasts sharply with her incessant chatter when talking with her friends.
The next proof of adultery is blatant indifference and a complete lack of interest in how you spend your free time, except when you are going to be away from home for quite a long time. If earlier your wife reproached you for constant delays after watching a football match at the stadium, or after an unforeseen "bachelor party", now she is just an "angel" herself, she is silent and does not throw a single reproach at you. She is simply not up to you, she is constantly worried about only one problem: where and when to meet with her lover ?! But when you are going, for example, hunting or fishing, for a couple of days, then your spouse is caring, love and attention. Not surprising! After all, she has complete freedom of action and an excellent guarantee of her not being exposed. That is why she will, with special attention and tenderness, collect you on the road, so that you like such absences from home, so that you are as comfortable and pleasant in them as possible, so that you would like to go on a similar trip again and again.
Further, follows one of the most interesting and requiring special attention sign of a betrayal. These are incredibly long and extremely uninteresting stories that happened to your wife, leading to her late return home. This is another evidence of your wife's betrayal. Any person, especially a woman, tries to think through the story that she has invented and the smallest details. She will describe the so-called "legend" to you for an unexpectedly long time and in the brightest colors that you, in fact, are not interested in. It is not known why she will tell you “what a fool this Lenka is, who, with her crooked legs, put on a short skirt” to a meeting with her friends. Or he will indulge in lengthy reflections on how unhappy a single woman, which is one of her best friends of the Light. She will not tell you, as usual, that she was late because she accidentally met her friends, but she will certainly tell you about these annoying facts above. Dear men, don't be fooled. On the contrary, your wife is mistaken, who thinks that if she tells you even about such trifles, then the whole story invented by her is the purest truth.
The next alarming signal that allows you to doubt that your wife is not cheating on you is her unexpected awareness of purely masculine hobbies and issues. Indeed, until recently, she was an "impassable dumbass" in men's affairs. And then she suddenly confidently declares that CSKA is the best football team in the country, that front-wheel-drive cars are better than those with rear-wheel drive, that it is now fashionable to wear a shirt for release and under a jacket. And this despite the fact that quite recently she considered football to be the stupidest game, where “twenty-two dunce chasing the same ball”, that the car is only a means to travel to the market, that a strict tie is required for a jacket. This cannot but cause your extreme surprise and bewilderment about the competence that your wife has discovered in men's pursuits and hobbies.
And this sign is again her cell phone, or rather, the inability to call her on it. This is explained to her by the most common reasons: the phone was discharged, but the charger was not at hand, the phone was switched to "silent" mode, and she forgot to return it to normal mode, or she is generally out of range, or simply your calls are blocked and rejected. It is at such moments that your wife is cheating on you, and in the truest sense of the word. It seems that this is the most unpleasant and, to some extent, anger-causing sign of a wife's betrayal. Judge for yourself, if earlier you could easily get through to her at any time of the day, now you are experiencing incomprehensible difficulties when you want to talk to her on the phone.
The next obvious sign of a wife's betrayal is her excessive tenderness and a sharply increased attention to children. For no reason, for no reason, she began for no reason, with a share of some kind of fury, passionately pressing them to her chest, showering their faces and heads with numerous kisses. Incessant caresses began to rain down on your children. What is it? Mother's love? Yes, but in this case it is a feeling of great guilt towards them. After all, over her children there was a threat of destruction of the family, the possibility of losing their father, if the husband finds out about her betrayal. This sign is very difficult to determine, given the boundlessness and greatness of mother's love, but still it is possible, if you are more careful.
In continuation of the enumeration of the signs of a wife's betrayal, her increased attention to you on the side, surrounded by your acquaintances, should be attributed, especially if there are women in it. Your wife intuitively feels that women who have known your relationship well for many years can easily determine your wife's current true feeling for you, in our case, this is a clear cooling of feelings and complete indifference to you. In other words, they will understand that your wife is having an affair with another man. It follows from this that your wife will tirelessly repeat the following phrases: “what a fine fellow he is”, “what would I do without him”, “how lucky I was with my husband” and so on. That is, the picture of a family idyll will be imposed in the most direct way. And she will certainly behave in the same way in the circle of your relatives, and maybe even more subtle and cunning, up to the most incredible manifestations of false love.
A close-studying look is the thirteenth sign of a wife's betrayal. Recently, you increasingly notice exactly this look of your wife. He seems to be re-evaluating you: weighing all your advantages and disadvantages, and most importantly, he seems to be comparing you to someone. It is not difficult to understand your wife, who has decided to commit adultery. After all, her chosen one is certainly better than you. He understands her in everything, is gentle and trembling with her, worships and loves her. The comparison, from the point of view of your wife, is clearly not in your favor, although in fairness it should be noted that women are generally prone to excessive idealization, especially when they fall in love.
The next sign of his wife's betrayal is, again, her look. Participation, care, friendliness and, most importantly, sincere warmth have disappeared in it. It is not for nothing that they say “the eyes are the mirror of the soul”. So look carefully into the eyes of your wife, in this “mirror” you are reflected, not you, but someone else, to whom all her tenderness, warmth, love is turned. In addition, your wife, if she cheated on you, will almost always look away, or try to find a reason why she urgently needs to run somewhere, for example, a cake is burning or the iron is not turned off.
And the end of the series of signs that speak of his wife's betrayal is a look. Look again !!! But what a! This view expresses genuine concern and grave concern. But don't be naive and frivolous again. First, your wife is worried about how you react to her confession of treason and subsequent departure to your lover. She is also worried about the thought: how will the new chosen one accept her when he realizes that she has come to him forever and will now be with him every day. It can also be assumed that the concern in her gaze is nothing more than thoughts about how likely it is that she will return home in the event of any unforeseen circumstances. But in any case, such a look is a harbinger of your divorce from your wife.

And, finally, about what I promised to return to at the beginning of my article. Maybe you should delve into yourself, or maybe you are the root cause of all this? After all, any woman instinctively tries to preserve the family hearth. For the sake of this, for the sake of family happiness, for the well-being of her children, she is capable of turning the whole world upside down, capable of something that is beyond the power of most men. Maybe you should change your attitude towards your wife: be less selfish and oppressive, be more caring and affectionate.

I would like the final chord of this article to sound as follows: for sure, everyone who wished to read this article suspected their wife of cheating. So, everything is possible in this complexity! With all my heart I wish you that all this information for thinking about the signs of betrayal of your wife does not find its confirmation in your case!

I want to finish my thoughts with the following quatrain: