The writers say: revenge is the motive that is most often guided in the cinema and least often in life. Indeed: how often did you do something out of a desire to punish the offender? And how often do we find ourselves able to tread the path of revenge, given that in the modern world the Old Testament rule "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" no longer works? Is it possible to painlessly take revenge on an unjust boss, teacher, parent or owner (if you are a cat)?
Most likely no. But, as practice shows, you can take revenge on an unfaithful husband or lover with whom something went wrong. The news that gets into the world media confirms this. While men are more likely to take revenge than women, studies show, ladies are more resourceful.
While men use the most vulgar ways to take revenge on their unfaithful mistress - for example, they post intimate photos on the Internet (another reason not to send their naked selfies to anyone), women strike back in a very sophisticated way. Like a lady from Texas congratulating with the help of an advertisement in the newspaper of an unfaithful husband and his mistress with the birth of a child. Or a woman from New York who sold home of the unfaithful spouse while he was on a business trip.
The steepest thing, of course, was the lady who, according to one of the versions, became the source of the leak at Mossack Fonseca and provoked the Panamagate. However, whether this will make her feel good personally is a big question. Psychologists, for example, are not sure about this.
Sweet revenge - bitter aftertaste
Revenge is not called sweet for nothing - and not only in Russian. A study by Swiss scientists from Zurich (published in the journal Science in 2004) showed that when an offended person thinks about revenge, a region responsible for the reward system is especially active in his brain. The same process occurs when eating sweet things. So those who talk about the sweet taste of revenge are not lying.
However, they do not finish speaking. Studies by other scientists have shown that not everything is so simple: in order for a person to feel satisfaction, it is not enough to shit on the offender or just to see that he is suffering. Everything is a little more complicated.
This was shown by a series of experiments conducted by American psychologists Kevin Carlsmith, Timothy Wilson, etc. They suggested that people cannot always say for sure what feelings they will experience in certain conditions. And this means that, dreaming of revenge, they may somewhat exaggerate its expected sweetness, and having implemented their plans, they may not feel satisfaction.
In the course of the study, scientists selected several groups of people who were supposed to play a game under their control, where everyone was supposed to be with profits. At the same time, a group was singled out that will pocket money, as well as three other groups - those who will have to come up with a punishment, those who will be forbidden to take revenge, and “fortune-tellers” who cannot punish fraudsters, but who will need to dream about it.
As a result, it turned out that those who punished the offenders felt worse than the "fortune-tellers" assumed.
Moreover, even those who did not have a chance to take revenge were better off! For them, the story was closed - they were deceived, well. At the same time, the Avengers continued to think about the unpleasant incident and get angry. “I think the unknown prolongs and intensifies emotional experiences, and the avengers unwittingly draw out unpleasant emotions,” Carlsmith suggested at the time. - Those who cannot take revenge, in a sense, are forced to go further and focus on other matters. And they feel happier. "
Justice in response to resentment
And yet the avenger can feel happy! Only for this it is not enough to put a button on the abuser's chair and then giggle from around the corner - this, as we have already understood, does not bring joy. Psychologists argue that we don't really need the suffering of the abuser. We yearn for retribution, a real "eye for an eye" so that a person understands what he is suffering for and repents.
A study by the German psychologist Mario Gollwitzer can be cited as proof. His experiment also consisted in a complex game with monetary rewards and appropriation thereof, but he came up with another thing: those who were deceived by their opponents had to punish them (also in rubles - that is, of course) and explain in writing the reasons for the punishment. The answers they received varied: some received messages from repentant fraudsters who admitted their mistakes, others from insolent people, outraged by the fact of punishment.
It is easy to guess about the results of the study: those avengers, whose opponents repented and repented, felt satisfied.
If, however, the offender does not understand what he was punished for, or he refuses to acknowledge the very fact of the disgrace he has done, then it is somehow senseless to punish him.
Avengers in the service of evolution
However, some scientists argue that revenge is for the good of evolution, and out of fear of punishment, we all become better. These ideas are expressed by the American behavioral psychologist Michael McCullough. He argues that when we take revenge on the wrongdoer, we thus prevent further wrongs from being inflicted. Therefore, we deprive him of the advantages that he could have if he continued to do us nasty things.
Moreover, the scientist believes that we crave revenge especially strongly if the offense was inflicted publicly: in this case, it turns out that if we keep silent, this will be a signal that we can be treated at random, not only to the offender, but also to other people. In addition, dreams of revenge, according to the professor, activate the planning site in the brain - thus developing our skills of step-by-step movement towards the goal that we really want to achieve.
However, all this does not mean that revenge is the only possible response to an offense. The same Michael McCullough offers three more options.
The first is to avoid the abuser, thus making it impossible to inflict further injury.
The second is to accept the fact of resentment, deciding that the person is important to you or you need a job (girls, don't listen!). The third is to forgive and expect that this will serve as a signal to the offender that you can change and behave more decently. It seems that the professor in his theory went from the Old Testament to the New - I wonder where he will go next.
Betrayal, resentment, quarrels - all this is an integral part of human life. But it is always unpleasant when the offender is left without punishment, and a natural and just desire to punish him arises. There are dozens of ways to ruin a person's life, ranging from the most harmless to the most dangerous.
Ways to ruin your life
It is worth being guided by the principle of justice before starting to take revenge on a person. After all, if you really decided to harm someone, you need to be aware of the scale of harm, damage that will be done. You do not need to poison a person if he took your place in the parking lot. You can arrange a kind of court session, where the culprit's guilt has already been proven, and you only need to pass a verdict, which must be fair.
There are several options for how to harm the person you hate. It is worth immediately discarding everything related to magic and rituals- it doesn't make any sense. We need real actions that cause real damage.
This damage is often accomplished through:
- Using social media or the Internet.
- Active actions to damage property (smear the front door with paint, break windows).
- Moral humiliation of a person.
- Using a phone number.
These are not even ways, but categories. Each of them is unique and includes dozens of options. Using the principle of justice, you can choose the kind of revenge that suitable for a certain case... For example, if someone insulted you at work or school, you might humiliate the person in return. This will not create a reputation for vindictive and unscrupulous dirty tricks for you, unlike methods that involve damage to property.
However, most will still choose property damage option, although watching the shame of a morally humiliated enemy is as pleasant as hearing him screaming that someone broke the window of his car.
And also an extremely unpleasant (for the offender, of course) way would be using his phone number... You can get the nerves of the enemy great by constantly calling him at night. You can even download a special program and go to bed calmly - it will do everything by itself.
Do not forget about such methods that they can really scare. For example, intimidation which includes not only anonymous threatening calls, but also good old notes under the door. Collectors use similar methods, you can adopt a couple of options from them.
Damage to property
Damage to property is the most common option. But remember that it can be a crime if you cross the line. You don't need to set fire to anything, blow it up too.
The following options are commonly used:
The main thing, as in principle and with other methods, is not to get caught.
For such methods of revenge, there will be no criminal punishment, but administrative punishment is possible.
Rumors will also circulate, and all this together will make you look bad, despite the fact that another person was the initiator of the conflict.
Harm over the Internet
Everything that happens in the modern world immediately falls into the global network and is actively discussed. Even if the information is false. You can use this for your revenge. And there are a huge number of options for what nasty things a person can do.
But pay attention to the following:
The Internet provides quite creative and unusual ways to harm a person. Knowing the phone number, you can use it for revenge. But there are also other ways that can be much more frustrating for the abuser.
We use a phone number
In addition to posting ads on dating sites, marketplaces, you can use your phone number in other cases. You can intimidate a person, or you can draw the attention of law enforcement agencies to him.
To intimidate means to voice a direct threat to a person's health or life. it 
can lead to undesirable consequences if the abuser wants to contact the police. So it is worth knowing how to intimidate a person anonymously. To do this, you can use Skype program. It is often used by the famous Ukrainian pranker Volnov, who not only sarcastically mocked the victims of the pranks, but also threatened some. This program allowed him to remain anonymous. It is designed for calls over the Internet, but also has the function of making calls to the phone. The main thing is not to indicate your number anywhere.
In addition, you will need and voice changer... All calls will be made through the computer, so a microphone is also required. When you speak into the microphone, this software will convert your speech. Thus, the girl will be able to speak in the voice of a weak old man.
Having these utilities, it remains only to think over the pressure line.
There is no need to directly threaten to kill or injure a person, then he will definitely contact the police.
You can simply state your demand, for example, that the abuser quit, and then support the demand with calls at night, leaving messages on the door, and you can also break his windows with stones with a note attached.
The second option is to attract the attention of law enforcement agencies. It is necessary, wherever possible, to leave the number of the enemy with an indication that drugs are sold here. You can write on fences, houses, using a spray paint can. A bold move would be to do it in front of the police station. The main thing - spread over a large area... And then this number will either be called by drug addicts who want to get a dose, or the police will pay attention to the owner of the number.
The nuances of revenge
Problems can come from everywhere: a loved one has abandoned, a boss is a tyrant who ruined his career, noisy neighbors. When an ordinary person, who did not cause any inconvenience, is subjected to vile blows, his desire for revenge will be perfectly fair.
But it is worth remembering that you need to act fairly - no matter how meanly the enemy acts. You do not need to be like him, it is better to act according to the principle "an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth"... It's important to be aware of the consequences that revenge can have - no need to go beyond the law.
In addition, revenge must be individual, unless the harm was caused to more than one person. There is no need to involve other people in the implementation of their plans, because they can tell someone about it, and this information will reach the enemy.
If it seems that you cannot cope on your own, and the retaliatory blow will not be sufficient, you can turn to detective agencies.
Some provide special services - they spoil the reputation. And often it is the harm to reputation that causes the greatest harm to self-esteem and the general condition of a person. Specialists can help, but for a lot of money. But if you do decide to take revenge on your own, you need to remember the main rule - not to get caught.
You can take revenge on a person in different ways, but how to do it, knowing only his phone number is an almost insoluble question for some. However, albeit small, but the offended side has the opportunity to cause some trouble. But you should only act carefully, because there is always the possibility that the avenger will be calculated by IP or his number.
How to get revenge on a male offender knowing his phone number?
The psychology of men has a certain peculiarity - they hate to give up, and will look for an avenger for punishment to the last. That is why it is possible to take revenge on the male offender persistently, but carefully so as not to get caught.
The Achilles' heel of almost any man is his car. Therefore, the first thing that can be done is to place advertisements on its sale on all sorts of resources for almost nothing. Not only will the phone be cut off, but also the pride of the car owner will be severely damaged. In the absence of a car, you can "sell" anything by advertisements.
Any normal man will be infuriated by the suspicion of non-traditional sexual orientation. To make this happen, you can place ads about the search for a friend on the appropriate resources.
Many sites selling various potency aids or sex toys ask buyers for a phone number to confirm the purchase. After ordering a lot of similar goods on the phone of the offender, he will simply be bombarded with a flurry of calls.
A rather cruel way to take revenge is to play the role of a troll on some resource, and then give angry opponents the phone number of the offender.
Here are some other ways to piss off the abuser:
- you can torture a person with endless calls through the autodial service;
- through the service-alarm clock, the victim can be woken up daily neither by light nor dawn;
- through the free messaging service, you can flood the offender with an avalanche of SMS messages;
- a lot of different spam will come to your phone if you connect mailings on sites offering promotions, discounts, loans, etc.
How to take revenge on a woman's phone number?
Some methods intended for men, after making some adjustments, are quite capable of unbalancing a woman. For example, you can place a lady's number on a resource where “priestesses of love” offer their services. However, with a flurry of incomprehensible or frightening calls and SMS spam, a woman is likely to quickly change her phone number.
With the ability to endure and wait, revenge on a woman can be more sophisticated. For example, to portray a secret admirer. Few women can resist the onslaught of a romantic and persistent gentleman who, by hook or by crook, got hold of the number of his beloved and bombarded her with lyrical and frank messages. And the correspondence that has become intimate can be shown to the husband, friend or acquaintances of the lady.
How to punish a person knowing his phone number and not get into trouble?
When contemplating revenge, it should be borne in mind that some methods are far from harmless. According to the law, you cannot disturb the night sleep of people, dissolve 
defamatory, spoil property, insult. Legal revenge may consist in collecting evidence of the wrongdoer's actions and filing a complaint with law enforcement agencies. You can report to the police for vandalism, theft, threats, stalking, etc.
And if the offender did not do anything that can be presented at the court session, it is best to refuse revenge altogether. Treat this person's dirty tricks as the actions of a dim-witted individual. And revenge is likely to be committed by life itself. After all, a person always boomerangs what he sends.
Each person has faced betrayal, dishonest fulfillment of promises and other things to which we usually react with resentment. Sometimes we get offended even when the offender had good reasons to let us down. This does not seem significant: the main thing is that our interests are respected at any cost.
We can offend in almost any situation, unexpectedly, and even the people closest to us:
Experiencing strong resentment, a person begins to think about revenge. It is widely believed that revenge must necessarily follow any insult and humiliation. Supposedly this way you can prove to the whole world that you are a worthy person. Is this belief true?
As a rule, after a successful revenge, the person does not feel any relief. Maybe the desire for revenge is just a harmful reflex? Consider this example: a naval battle of sailing warships. A breach has been made in the side of your ship, he is drowning. How to improve your position in this situation - should you fire back or fill the gap? What if the breach was created not by an enemy ship, but by some cliff?
Movie revenge
Films in which the main character takes revenge on the villains are very popular. We are following the development of these stories with great interest.... But pay attention to your feelings after completing these films. What remains besides the joy of spectacular fighting scenes and beautiful explosions?
You may notice that only sadness remains. It is more interesting when the "villain" in the cinema is better revealed, his motivation is shown so that we can see that we would probably be no different from him if we were in his place.
Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, speaking on this topic, recommended watching the film "Gran Torino", describing it as "transformative". Indeed, events there develop in a somewhat non-standard way, and as a result, the viewer can experience a real catharsis.
Vendetta
The extreme manifestation of revenge for an insult is vendettas, which were common on some islands of the Mediterranean until the beginning of the last century. They consisted in the fact that for the death of a family member, one of the murderer's family should certainly have been killed. As a rule, each subsequent revenge became more and more cruel than the previous one, and often as a result both warring clans were exterminated to the last man. And pay attention: after all, both clans took revenge, and not just mindlessly killed. Both had reasons to be offended.
More and more nothing, more and more no one ... More and more no one, except for that raven - there is no one to shoot at him ... (B. Okudzhava)
Blood feud is a barbaric custom that has survived today only in the wildest regions. However, even in civilized societies, many still want to take revenge, albeit in less radical ways, for their grievances. People don't understand that being offended is extremely childish behavior. We learn it in infancy, when we understand that with the help of our grievances, we can blackmail our parents and peers, getting certain benefits: candy, ice cream and affection.
Children's grievances
Offended, you can demand more from a kind mother than she would like to give us herself. Perhaps she has a small salary and now she cannot afford a new toy or sweets, but when she sees her offended child, she will not be able to resist and will be forced to spend more than the family budget allows. Inability to plan for the future is another infantile trait. It is thanks to her that the child considers it possible to manipulate parents who have good reasons not to satisfy all his whims.
If such a child grows up without getting rid of infantile character traits, he seeks to use black magic and conspiracies in order to take revenge on the enemy, humiliate him so that he suffers. He knows no other joy than to take cruel revenge on the enemy, ruin a person's life. The problem is that this joy is not too much ... The desire for revenge is one of those that is nicer to imagine than to realize, and after revenge, only emptiness remains, the realization that nothing has changed for the better.
What is the smartest way to act?
If the insult inflicted on you is reversible - they spoiled some of your things, did not return the money debt, then you should just start restoring the damage. Rest assured: Karma will take care of the offender. Remember what happens to the leading vendetta? A person who allows himself to dishonestly treat others, digs a hole for himself, into which he will one day have to fall. You don't even have to push it. So forgive him and forget, you now have more important things to do: repair the damage. You must react as if the damage was caused by a natural disaster or bad weather. You are not offended by the bad weather - you just take an umbrella.
If you are offended, and strong feelings such as anger, rage, resentment are seething in you - you become an easy object for manipulation. You can easily become a victim of a scammer, for example, who will sell you a pseudo-magic "conspiracy". How to punish a person for meanness, he will not tell you, but he will replenish the wallet of the fake sorcerer (and greatly facilitate yours).
In any situation, you should take care of your own well-being. Harming someone is in no way in your interests. Moreover, it creates the risk that they will want to spoil you in return, and this will last indefinitely. Don't you have a more interesting lesson?
Even Plato in the dialogue "State" cited Socrates' reasoning about justice. It is difficult to imagine a reader who has familiarized himself with it, who then would like to take revenge on someone. In this dialogue it is very simply explained that a person who has committed a bad deed is bad. And justice is doing good deeds. If you harm a bad person, it will make him worse. This means you will be unfair. Therefore, it will be just not to do evil even to bad people, so that they do not become even worse from this.
Two frogs
You strive so hard to judge the sins of others. Start with your own, and you won't get to strangers. (W. Shakespeare)
This quote speaks of the same thing that Jesus says in the New Testament: you see a speck in someone else's eye, but you don't notice a log in your own. The point here is to focus on your development. In any situation, you should make an effort to become stronger yourself. Remember the parable about two frogs drowning in sour cream? One of them took offense at the whole world and drowned. The second one began to quickly sort out its paws, the sour cream turned into butter, and the frog was able to get free. If she began to plan for revenge on the person who left the pot of sour cream open, nothing good would come of it.
It's time to stop looking for someone to blame. It's time to become an adult. It's time for all of us to grow up. It's time for all of us to stop looking for someone to blame. This is the first sign of growing up - to stop looking for who is to blame. (I. Vyrypaev)
Transferring responsibility to another person is very easy, pleasant and convenient. But not everyone thinks about the consequences of this. The baby has no choice: he does not have his own means and is completely dependent on his parents, only they can buy him a toy or candy.
But growing up, a person should realize that more and more actions become available to him. Already, having found that there is no candy in your pocket, there is no need to viciously kick your mom's boot, as some children do. You can go to the store and buy yourself some candy with your salary.
When is the man, being already an adult, preserves this child's mental mechanism, that in case of trouble it is imperative to take offense at someone, he may face a number of unpleasant consequences.
Hatred is the money-grubbing of love. (E. Brodetsky)
According to this psychologist, even hatred is just our attempt to get love. What can we say about resentment? Offended, we try to demand some dividends from the offender.
Mom reluctantly can close her eyes to the whims of her child and still give him the desired delicacy. If, as an adult, he behaves this way at work, the boss can simply fire him. His colleagues will not understand him either.
If you are feeling left out, it’s safer to simply make your feelings public. And if you have not been heard, then quit your job and find a job with a more suitable psychological climate for you.
A lit candle will shine until it burns out and goes out. Our life is just as short, and it is foolish to waste it on petty grievances. ... First of all, you yourself will suffer from them.... If you come up with a way to annoy someone who, in your opinion, is to blame, to substitute him, the suffering will only increase, not less. Now, besides you, one more person will suffer. It makes more sense to think about how to reduce suffering in the world.
Moreover, resentment can even lead to illness. But this is a topic for another article and on another topic.
Below are some of the practices that can have a beneficial effect on your mental state and spiritual well-being if you are offended:
Prayer
A good way to improve your life is through prayer. If you spend at least an hour a day in prayer, gradually resentment will begin to let you go. “Thy will be done”, “Lord have mercy” - is it possible, after such words, to maintain an egoistic desire to harm someone, to hurt?
Runa Evaz
If you have found the courage to forgive your offenders, to leave God to give them what they deserve, this rune will help you avoid unpleasant situations in the future. You can draw it somewhere in your house, carry its image with you, or even get a tattoo with it. The less selfishness and resentment you have and the more resilience you have in resisting anger and outbursts of anger, the more benefits the Rune of Forgiveness will bring you.
Forgiveness Sunday
In the Christian tradition, a special day is allocated when special attention is paid to forgiveness - Forgiveness Sunday. It usually falls in February, the exact date is different in each year. On this day, Christians not only forgive those against whom they had a grudge, but they themselves ask for forgiveness from everyone around them. Everyone who has been offended, willingly or unwillingly. When you yourself ask for forgiveness, you understand that you yourself have offended someone, and this gives rise to a feeling of the harmony of the world. You no longer feel undeservedly offended by someone, it becomes easier to forgive your offenders.
Hooponopono
The famous esotericist Joe Vitale talks about a Hawaiian life-changing method called Hooponopono. According to him, the person who practiced it healed an entire psychiatric clinic simply by repeating a few words. Namely:
Repeating these words, filling them with sincere remorse and love and addressing the patients he met, doctors and even the walls of the building, Hugh Lin achieved that the clinic was closed: there was no one to treat, everyone was on the mend. Also, with the help of this technique, you can improve your health, and it can be performed completely unnoticed by others, repeating these words to yourself. Distance is not a hindrance to her either.
Output
Touchiness is a harmful and infantile character trait that must be removed from your arsenal in order, no less, to survive in this difficult world. You can be pissed off by your boss as much as you want, but even if the reason for your anger is unfair dismissal, the best option is to forgive. The same way is the best in the event that your beloved woman did not meet your expectations.
The expressions “smile / travel - it annoys everyone” is absolutely fair. This is the very best revenge - just focus on making your life beautiful and amazing. In the movie "Merlin" with the inimitable Sean Connery, there was a wicked witch whom nothing could penetrate but one. She was defeated when everyone forgot about her and stopped paying attention to her. ... We wish you to punish your offenders in the same way.
