Chapter 28
Throughout the book, I have sought to connect laboratory work with life by relating the principles and findings of social psychology to everyday events. In the fifth and last part, we will try to determine which of the ideas expressed are the most significant, and see how they are related to other realities of human existence. In chapters 28 and 29 we will look at the application of social psychology in clinical practice, we will try to answer the question whether a social psychologist can help in explaining the causes of and getting rid of depression, loneliness and anxiety, and we will also try to understand what social and psychological factors lead a person to Luckily. Chapter 30 concludes the book; it summarizes the most significant themes of social psychology and suggests how they relate to religious conceptions of human nature.
Chapter 28
If you are a typical college student, you may feel a little depressed from time to time: you are not satisfied with your life, you are not inspired by thoughts about the future, you are sad, you lose appetite and energy, you are unable to concentrate, sometimes you even wonder if life is worth living. in order to continue it. Perhaps you fear that low grades are threatening your career aspirations. Perhaps separation from your family has plunged you into despair. At such moments, sad reflections, focused on ourselves, only worsen our well-being. For about 10% of men and almost 20% of women, periods when life turns dark to them are not just temporary moments of despondency, they turn into severe depression lasting for weeks for no apparent reason.
One of the most intriguing research problems concerns the cognitive processes that accompany psychological disorders. What are the characteristics of the memories, attributions, and expectations of depressed people, as well as people who are lonely, shy, or disease-prone?
Social cognition and depression
As we all know from our own life experiences, depressed people are often overwhelmed by gloomy thoughts. They see the world through dark glasses. For people who are severely depressed—those who feel worthless, become apathetic, lose interest in friends and family, and cannot sleep or eat normally—negative thinking leads to self-destruction. An overly pessimistic view of the world leads to an exaggeration of all the bad things that happen to them, and downplaying of all the good things.
A young depressed woman says: “I do everything wrong, I am not good for anything. I can't succeed in my work because I get stuck in doubt” (Burns, 1980, p. 29).
Distortion or realism?
Are all depressed people too negative? To find out, Lauren Alloy and Lyn Abramson (1979) compared the behavior of mildly depressed students with those of normal students. The researchers asked students to observe whether pressing a button was associated with a subsequent flash of light. To the surprise of the researchers, the depressed subjects were quite accurate in assessing the extent to which they could control what was happening. Incorrect, distorted assessments were expressed by students who did not suffer from depression - they clearly exaggerated the limits of their ability to control the situation.
This amazing phenomenon depressive realism quite often found when people try to assess the degree of self-control and their skills (Ackermann & De Rubies, 1991; Alloy & others, 1990). Shelley Taylor (1989, p. 214) makes this comparison:
“People in the normal state exaggerate their competence and attractiveness to others; suffering from depression - do not exaggerate. People in the normal state remember their past in a rosy light; depressed people (with the exception of those who are experiencing very severe depression) are more fair in assessing their past successes and failures. People in the normal state describe themselves mostly positively; Depressed people describe both their positive and negative qualities. People in the normal state take credit for success and generally deny responsibility for failure. Depressed people take responsibility for both success and failure. People in a normal state exaggerate the degree of their control over what is happening around them; Depressed people are less susceptible to this kind of illusion. People in the normal state have an implicit belief that the future will bring a lot of good and little bad. Depressed people are more realistic in their perception of the future. In fact, in any case where normal people show excessive self-esteem, illusions of control, and a far-fetched vision of the future, depressed people show no such addictions. It turns out that depression makes people not only sadder, but also wiser.
At the heart of the thinking of people in a state of depression lies the attribution of responsibility for everything that happens to them. Let's see, if you fail an exam and blame yourself for it, you may conclude that you are stupid or lazy and become depressed. And if you attribute failure to unfair treatment or some other circumstances beyond your control, then most likely you will just get angry. In more than 100 studies involving 15,000 subjects (Sweeney & others, 1986), depressed people were more likely than non-depressed people to show negative explanatory style(Fig. 28-1). They more easily attributed failure to causes sustainable("This will go on forever") global("This will hurt everything I do") and internal("It's all my own fault"). The result of such pessimistic, overgeneralized, self-blaming thinking is, according to Abramson and her colleagues (1989), a depressing sense of hopelessness.
Rice. 28-1. Depressive explanatory style. Depression is associated with a negative, pessimistic way of explaining and interpreting failure.
Negative thinking: cause or effect of depression?
People who are prone to reflection will probably have a question: what is primary and what is secondary? Does depressive mood cause negative thinking, or does negative thinking cause depression?
Depressed mood causes negative thinking
Without a doubt, our mood leaves a certain imprint on our thinking. Feeling happy, we tend to see and remember only the good. But as soon as our mood becomes gloomy, so thoughts begin to go along a different path. Rose-colored glasses are hidden until better times, and black ones are brought into the light. Now the gloomy mood throws us memories of unpleasant events (Bowe, 1987; Johnson & Magaro, 1987). It seems that relationships with others have deteriorated, self-image has deteriorated markedly, hopes for the future have faded, and other people's actions are disgusting (Brown & Taylor, 1986; Mayer & Salovey, 1987). As depression intensifies, memories and expectations become more and more painful; when the depression subsides, everything brightens up again (Barnett & Gotlib, 1988; Kuiper & Higgins, 1985). Yes, people with depression at present, recall how their parents rejected and punished them, while people who suffered from depression in the past, remember parents as kindly as those who have never experienced depression (Lewinsohn & Rosenbaum, 1987).
Edward Hirt and others (1992), in a study of Indiana State University basketball fans, demonstrated how a bad mood caused by defeat can generate some pretty gloomy thoughts. They asked the fans - both those who were depressed about the loss of their team, and those who were jubilant about the victory - to predict the results of the team's upcoming games and their own behavior. After the defeat of the team, people were more gloomy about not only its future, but also their own future successes, for example, at playing darts, solving anagrams, and even in their personal lives. When things don't go the way we'd like them to, it may seem like they're always going to go wrong.
Depressed mood also affects behavior. A closed, gloomy, dissatisfied person does not evoke joyful and warm feelings in others. Stephen Strack and James Coyne (1983) found that depressed people are close to the truth in thinking that others disapprove of their behavior. Their pessimism and bad mood cause social rejection (Carver & others, 1994). Depressive behavior can also cause retaliatory depression. College students who shared a room with a depressed person also began to feel somewhat depressed (Burchill & Stiles, 1988; Joiner, 1994; Sanislow & others, 1989). Depressed people are at increased risk of divorce, being fired from work, or being avoided by others (Coyne & others, 1991; Gotlib & Lee, 1989; Sacco & Dunn, 1990). In this state, people may deliberately seek out people who speak unfavorably of them, thereby confirming and further reinforcing their low opinion of themselves (Swarm & others, 1991).
Negative thinking is the cause of depressed mood
Many people feel overwhelmed during times of severe stress: after losing a job, after a divorce, or after the end of a long-term relationship, after suffering a physical injury - that is, always when their understanding of who they are and what the meaning of their lives is crumbling (Hamilton & others, 1993 ; Kendler & others, 1993). Such sad reflections may be adaptive: insights experienced during depressive inactivity may later generate better strategies for dealing with the world. But people who are prone to depression tend to be overly self-focused and self-blaming in response to bleak events (Pyszczynski & others, 1991; Wood & others, 1990a, 1990b). Their self-esteem jumps back and forth—up with support and down with threat (Butler & others, 1994).
Why do some people get depressed easily? slightest stress? According to recent data, negative explanatory style contributes to the formation of depressive reactions. Colin Sacks and Daphne Bugental (1987) asked several young women to meet a previously unknown person who sometimes acted cold and unfriendly, thus creating a difficult environment for communication. In contrast to the optimistic women, those who had a pessimistic explanatory style, who habitually attributed bad events to stable, global and domestic causes, reacted to social failure with depression. Moreover, later they behaved more hostilely towards the next person they met. Their negative thinking led to negative feedback, which in turn led to negative behavior.
Out-of-lab studies of children, adolescents, and adults confirm that those with a negative explanatory style are more likely to experience depression when they are in trouble (Alloy & Clements, 1992; Brown & Siegel, 1988; Nolen-Hoeksema & others, 1986 ). “The recipe for severe depression is already existing pessimism faced with failure,” notes Martin Seligman (1991, p. 78). Moreover, patients who emerge from depression after a psychotherapy session, but who do not abandon their negative explanatory style, tend to revert to "baseline" when unpleasant events occur again (Seligman, 1992). Those who tend to use an optimistic explanatory style tend to bounce back very quickly (Metalsky & others, 1993; Needles & Abramson, 1990).
Researcher Peter Lewinsohn (Peter Lewinsohn, 1985) and his colleagues have reduced all these factors to a logically consistent representation of depression in terms of psychology. In their opinion, the negative self-image, attributions and expectations of a person in a state of depression are an essential link in that vicious circle, the movement along which is triggered by negative experiences - failure in school or work, family conflict or social rejection (Fig. 28-2). In people vulnerable to depression, stress leads to a new round of sad thoughts, to self-abuse, self-blame (Pyszczynski & others, 1991; Wood & others, 1990a, 1990). This kind of thinking creates a depressed mood that drastically changes thoughts and actions, which, in turn, fuels negative experiences, self-blame and depressed mood. Experiments show that the mood of people with mild depression rises sharply when the task given to them shifts their attention to something external (Nix & others, 1995). Thus, depression is both a cause and a consequence of negative thinking.
[Introversion and self-flagellation, Negative experiences, Depressive mood, Cognitive and behavioral consequences]
Rice. 28-2. The vicious cycle of depression.
Martin Seligman (1991) argues that self-centeredness and self-blame help explain the epidemic-like incidence of depression in the Western world today. In North America, for example, young people experienced three times as much depression as their grandparents, despite the fact that the older generation had much more reasons to become depressed (Cross National Collaborative Group, 1992). Seligman believes that the devaluation of the role of religion and the family, plus the growth of individualism, breeds hopelessness and self-blame when things go wrong. Failure in school, career or marriage leads to despair when we are left alone with her and we have nothing and no one to rely on. If, as advertised in a tough man magazine, fortune, you can "do it yourself" "by your assertiveness, your audacity, your energy, your ambition", then whose fault is it if you not did? In non-Western cultures, where closer relationships and cooperation are the norm, severe depression is less common and less associated with guilt and self-blame about failure. In Japan, for example, people who are depressed usually report instead that they feel ashamed because they have let down their family or co-workers (Draguns, 1990).
Insights into the thinking patterns associated with depression have led social psychologists to study the thought patterns of people who are tormented by other problems. How do those who suffer from loneliness, timidity or cruelty of others perceive themselves? How well do they remember their successes and failures? To what do they attribute their ups and downs? Is their focus on themselves or on others?
Social Cognition and Loneliness
If we consider that among psychological disorders, depression is the “common cold”, then loneliness is a “headache”. Loneliness, permanent or temporary, is the painful realization that our social relationships are not as extensive and significant as we would like. Jenny de Jong-Gierveld (1987) conducted a study among adults in the Netherlands and found that people who are not married and without attachments are more likely to feel lonely. This led her to believe that the modern emphasis on individualism and the devaluation of marriage and family life could "produce loneliness" (as well as depression). Work-related mobility is also responsible for weakening family and social ties and increasing feelings of loneliness (Dill & Anderson, 1998).
Like people suffering from depression, chronically lonely people seem to be involved in the same vicious cycle of destructive cognition and social behavior. Their explanatory style resembles the negative explanatory style of depressed people: they blame themselves for bad relationships with others and believe that many things are beyond their control (Anderson & others, 1994; Snodgrass, 1987). Moreover, they also perceive others in a negative way. When interacting with a stranger of the same sex or with a roommate, students who feel lonely are more likely to perceive him negatively (Jones & others, 1981; Wittenberg & Reis, 1986). As shown in fig. 28-3, loneliness, depression, and shyness sometimes feed off each other.
[Shyness, Loneliness, Depression]
Rice. 28-3. Interaction of chronic shyness, loneliness and depression. Solid arrows show the primary direction of causality (Jody Dill & Craig Anderson, 1998).
Such a negative view of things can both reflect the experiences of a lonely person and leave a certain imprint on them. Confidence in their social worthlessness and pessimism make it difficult for lonely people to act in a way that does not feel so lonely. Lonely people often have difficulty introducing themselves, making phone calls, or taking part in group activities (Rook, 1984; Spitzberg & Hurt, 1987). They tend to be overly shy and have low self-esteem (Cheek & Melchior, 1990; Vaux, 1988). When talking to a stranger, they talk more about themselves and show less interest in the interlocutor than people who do not suffer from loneliness (Jones & others, 1982). After such conversations, new acquaintances often have an unflattering opinion of lonely people (Jones & others, 1983).
Social Cognition and Anxiety
If you need to pass an interview when applying for a job that you really want to get; make someone a first date; step over the threshold of a room full of strangers; to speak in front of a serious audience, then almost every one of us will be nervous. Some people, especially those who are shy or easily embarrassed, feel anxious in almost any situation where they may begin to evaluate themselves and their behavior. For such people, anxiety is more of a permanent trait than a temporary condition.
What makes us feel anxious in social situations? Why are some people in the grip of their own timidity? Barry Schlepke and Mark Leary (1982b, 1985; Leary & Kowalski, 1985) answer these questions with theories of self-presentation. Self-presentation theory suggests that we strive to present ourselves in such a way as to make a good impression. The subtext of social anxiety is simple: we feel anxious when we want to impress others but doubt our ability to do so. This simple principle helps to explain the results obtained in a variety of studies; each of them may contain the truth about your own experience. We are most concerned about:
When we communicate with high-status influencers - people whose opinion matters to us;
When someone evaluates us - for example, when we first meet the parents of our fiancee;
When we experience embarrassment (as shy people often do) and our focus is on ourselves and what we are facing;
When the interaction is focused on something important to our self-image - for example, when a college professor is presenting ideas in a meeting where his colleagues are present;
When we are in new or unstructured situations, such as the first prom or the first formal dinner, and do not know how to behave.
By nature, in all such situations, we tend to be prudently cautious: talk less; avoid topics that may reveal our ignorance; control yourself; do not be self-confident, agree and smile as often as possible.
Shyness is a form of social anxiety. Its hallmark is its constant worry about what others will think (Anderson & Harvey, 1988; Asendorpf, 1987; Carver & Scheier, 1986). Unlike self-confident people, shy people (many teenagers among them) see random events as somehow related to themselves (Fenigstein, 1984; Fenigstein & Vanable, 1992). They overly personalize situations, a tendency that exhibits anxiety and, in exceptional cases, paranoia. Such people often feel that the interviewer is unfriendly and completely uninterested in them (Pozo & others, 1991). They also exaggerate the degree of attention to their person from others and the desire to evaluate them. If shy people have bad hair or a spot or scar on their face, they assume that everyone around them notices and judges.
To reduce social anxiety, some people turn to alcohol. Alcohol does reduce anxiety by reducing self-awareness (Hull & Young, 1983). Thus, people who are constantly aware of themselves are especially prone to drinking after failure. If they become alcoholics, they are more likely than people with low self-awareness to relapse after a course of treatment.
Symptoms as diverse as anxiety and alcohol addiction can serve the same balancing function. Feeling anxious, shy, depressed, or drunk can be an excuse for failure (Snyder & Smith, 1986). Behind the barricade of symptoms, the human ego is safe. Why don't I date girls? Because I'm a shy person and it's not easy for people to know who I really am." A symptom is an unconscious strategic ploy to explain negative outcomes.
What if we eliminated the need for such a gimmick by providing people with a convenient alternative explanation for their anxiety - and therefore eventual failure? Would a shy person stop being shy? Yes! Susan Brodt and Philip Zimbardo (1981) came up with this answer when they asked shy and non-shy women to talk to an attractive man. The women were waiting for a conversation in a small room where it was very noisy. Some of them (but not all) were told that noise usually causes heart palpitations and should be considered a common symptom of anxiety. When these women later spoke to the man, they could attribute their heart palpitations and any difficulty during the conversation to the effects of the noise rather than their shyness or inability to communicate.
Compared with other women, those who were given such a ready-made explanation for their signs of excitement showed less shyness - freely kept up the conversation and asked the man various questions. In fact, this man had no reason to call them shy.
Socio-psychological approaches to treatment
So, we looked at social thinking patterns that are associated with various life problems - from deep depression to everyday shyness. Can a person get rid of an uncomfortable thought pattern? There is no separate socio-psychological therapy. Therapy involves various social interactions, and social psychologists are currently thinking about how to combine the principles of social psychology with therapies already in use (Leary & Maddux, 1987; Strong & others, 1992).
To internal changes through external behavior
In Chapter 9, we looked at a wide range of evidence for a fairly simple but important principle: our actions affect our attitudes. The roles we play, the words we say, the decisions we make, the actions we take affect who we are as a result.
In accordance with the principle of "attitudes follow behavior", some psychotherapeutic methods recommend actions as "treatment". Behavioral psychotherapists try to shape behavior because they believe that internal dispositions change as soon as behavior changes. Self-confidence training involves using the foot in the door technique. The individual first plays the role of a self-confident person (others, by virtue of their capabilities, support him in this endeavor), and then gradually becomes actually more self-confident. Rational-emotional therapy assumes that we ourselves generate our emotions; clients get "homework" to speak and act in a new way, and this generates new emotions. Challenge yourself, they tell them, stop telling yourself you're unattractive. In self-help groups, participants are subtly nudged into new behaviors: new ways of getting angry, crying, showing self-respect, expressing positive feelings.
Research confirms that what we say about ourselves can influence how we feel. In one experiment, students were asked to write an essay praising themselves (Mirels & McPeek, 1977). Later, when assessing themselves at the request of another experimenter, these students showed higher self-esteem than those who wrote essays on a different topic. Edward Jones and his collaborators (Edward Jones, 1981; Rhodewalt & Agustsdottir, 1986), in turn, asked students to introduce themselves to the interviewer, either by extolling or belittling themselves. Once again, public speaking—whether self-exalting or self-deprecating—was later reflected in their responses to the self-esteem test. We speak - it means we believe, even when we talk about ourselves. This was especially true when students were subtly encouraged to take responsibility for how they presented themselves to others. Therapeutic treatment is most effective when its prescriptions are followed precisely and without coercion.
Break the vicious circle
If depression, loneliness, and social anxiety together form a vicious circle of negative experiences, thoughts, and destructive behaviors, it is necessary at some point to break this circle: change the environment, teach the person more constructive behavior, or change the way he thinks. And it's really possible. Several psychotherapeutic methods help people get out of the vicious cycle of depression.
Social skills training
Depression, loneliness and shyness are not only our personal problem. Even brief contact with a depressed person can be irritating and depressing. Lonely and shy people are right in their fears: they are really difficult to communicate with. In such cases, social skills training is very useful. If, after observing new patterns of behavior, a person begins to put them into practice, this can help him grow confidence that in other situations he will behave more effectively.
A person who begins to enjoy the benefits of their more “skillful” behavior develops a more positive self-image. Frances Haemmerlie and Robert Montgomery (1982, 1984, 1986) demonstrated this in experiments with extremely shy, nervous college students. Someone who is inexperienced and fearful in relationships with the opposite sex may be saying to himself, “I don't go on dates very often, so I'm not a good fit; therefore, I should not try to invite anyone.” To reverse this sequence of negative conclusions, Hammerly and Montgomery engaged students in pleasurable relationships with the opposite sex.
In another experiment, men working at a college filled out questionnaires to measure their social anxiety levels and then came to the lab twice on different days. Each time they had a very nice conversation with six young women for 12 minutes each. Men believed that women were also subjects. In reality, women were invited to engage in natural and friendly conversation with men.
The result of this communication, which lasted a total of two and a half hours, was impressive. Here is how one of the subjects later wrote about this: “I have never met so many girls with whom I could talk so well. After talking with them, I felt so confident in myself that I stopped being nervous, as I always used to be.” This comment was supported by later observed changes in the behavior of men. In contrast to the men in the control group, those who participated in the conversations, when retested (after a week and after six months), the level of anxiety associated with women was significantly lower. Once alone with an attractive stranger, they could start a conversation more freely. And outside the walls of the laboratory, they also behaved more relaxedly, from time to time making dates with women they liked.
Hammerly and Montgomery note that all this happened without any consultation, and it is possible that everything worked out so well. precisely because that no recommendations were made at all. By achieving success on their own, the participants in the experiment began to perceive themselves as socially competent. When the researchers interviewed former subjects seven months later, by this time the men seemed to have enjoyed their social success to such an extent that they already attributed success exclusively to themselves. “Nothing is more conducive to success than success,” Hammerly (1987) concluded, “unless there are external factors that the patient can use as an explanation for this success!”
Psychotherapy by changing the style of explanation
Breaking the vicious cycle of depression, loneliness, and shyness can be done by practicing social skills, by having positive experiences that change self-perception, and by changing the pattern of negative thinking. There are people who seem to have all the necessary social skills, but the experience of dealing with overly critical friends and relatives convinces them otherwise. It may be enough for such people to help change the negative opinion about themselves and their future to the opposite. Among the methods of cognitive psychotherapy is psychotherapy by changing the style of explanation, proposed by social psychologists (Abramson, 1988; Foersterling, 1986; Greenberg & others, 1992).
One such program taught depressed college students how to change their typical attributions. Mary Anne Layden (1982) first explained to them what the benefits of attribution are for the non-depressed person (taking credit for all his successes and denying responsibility when things go wrong). By giving students a wide variety of tasks, she helped them see how they typically interpret success and failure. Then came the time for psychotherapy: each participant in the experiment was given the task of Leyden to keep a diary in which they had to write down the successes and failures experienced daily, while noting what share of their own merit in success and what are the external causes of failure. After a month of such training, participants were retested and their results compared with a control group that did not undergo psychotherapy. It turned out that the self-esteem of those who kept a diary increased, and the attribution style became more positive. The more their explanatory style improved, the more the depression receded. By changing their attributions, they changed their emotions.
While emphasizing that changed behaviors and thought patterns can be improved over and over again, at the same time, it should be recalled that there is a limit to everything. Social skills training and positive thinking cannot turn us into consistent winners that everyone loves and admires. In addition, temporary depression, loneliness and shyness are quite appropriate reactions to really sad events. Only when these feelings are present constantly and for no apparent reason, they should be addressed and try to change destructive thinking and behavior.
Concepts to remember
depressive realism(Depressive realism) - the tendency of people who are mildly depressed to make mostly accurate, not in their favor judgments, attributions and forecasts.
Explanatory style(Explanatory style) - a familiar way of explaining life events. With a negative, pessimistic, depressive style, failures are explained by stable, global and internal causes.If you are prone to negative thinking, then you may feel that this is an innate quality that drives you throughout your life. It is this mistaken behavior that drags many people down, as they allow negative thoughts to ruin their mood.
In fact, negative thinking is a habit that can be challenged and changed through knowledge, strategies, and behavior. Once we understand the reason for our negativity and change how we perceive the situation, we can develop a more positive outlook that will provide huge benefits in our personal and professional lives.
6 Ways You Can Change Negative Thinking
So, here are six simple and powerful ways to help you stop negative thinking and develop more positive behavioral habits.
Develop the right sleep cycle for you
Negative thinking is a symptom of depression, and it is often exacerbated by lack of sleep or irregular sleep cycles. The link between negativity, depression and sleep disturbance has been explored in many studies. For example, in 2005, American researchers found that patients with depression or anxiety tended to sleep less than six hours each night.
In order to negate your negativity, make sure you get a good rest. You should definitely develop a healthy and sustainable sleep cycle for yourself. This will help you achieve eight hours of sleep a day, thus creating a routine that helps you get up to work every morning. 
Write down your negative thoughts
The problem with negative thoughts is that they tend to be unformed and ambiguous in our minds. This means that they are difficult to identify or eliminate using verbal thinking. They can also hide the true source of our fear, so it is very important to process them and understand their meaning.
The best way to achieve this is to write down negative thoughts in a diary, translating them into words and giving them a physical meaning. Start writing them down quickly and casually, focusing on expressing yourself rather than getting the sentence right. Once you get them down on paper, start identifying their specific meaning or general themes. 
This process can also help you develop the habit of expressing your thoughts in an open manner, which will make it easier to manage relationships and resolve interpersonal problems.
Stop going to extremes
Life is far from black and white, and many rational people take this into account in their daily thinking process. But the same cannot be said about those people who are prone to negativity. They tend to go to extremes and imagine the worst situation when faced with a problem.
Unfortunately, this makes it difficult to capture the subtle nuances of life and take into account the positive aspects that can be seen in any situation. 
With that in mind, you don't have to change your extremely negative thinking style to a completely positive one at all. Instead, consider the various positive and negative possibilities that exist in any situation in life and create a list to guide your thought processes. This will allow your brain to instantly look for alternatives in case of extreme negativity without forcing you to suddenly change the way you think.
Act on facts, not assumptions
Negative thinking makes you unable to deal with any kind of uncertainty. Therefore, when you find yourself in a stressful or unfamiliar situation that has a potentially negative outcome, you begin to anticipate events and try to solve the problem without taking into account any significant facts. This can be described as mind reading, which is likely to encourage further negativity. 
This problem can be easily solved by changing the behavior. The first step is to collect facts and details related to the situation and use them to make an informed decision. You must start with a scenario and list all logical explanations in order of importance. Use pen and paper, or verbal reflection. For example, if your friend didn't immediately reply to a message, there could be many reasons for this. He may have run out of battery, he may have a meeting at work, or the phone is on silent and the message simply has not been read.
By listing these realistic explanations, you can avoid the temptation to identify negative outcomes and react impulsively. Over time, experience will also teach you that logical and reasonable explanations are always more likely than the worst-case scenarios that pop into your head. 
Pay attention to the positive and accept it
One of the main problems with negative thinking is that it is with you all the time, even when the situation has a positive outcome. This can minimize the positive outcome and the impact it has on you, or it can prevent you from seeing the positive in your life.
Let's say you get a raise, but it's slightly lower than some of your co-workers. Instead of focusing solely on this single negative point, it's much better to think about exactly what you got. It is also important to recognize the fact that some employees have received even less than your raise, or have nothing. This way of thinking puts perspective in any situation and allows facts to counteract negative thoughts. 
The key here is perception, that you see negative phenomena as temporary and specific, rather than as permanent and all-encompassing. Learn to balance your negative thoughts with contrasting positive ones. This will allow you to get in the habit of seeing perspective much more often.
Rethink all the circumstances and look for the positive
There are situations in which both positive and negative effects can be clearly identified. But there are others that can be instantly perceived as negative. This is the worst nightmare for those who are prone to negative thinking, as they are faced with a situation that feeds their pessimistic mindset and does not offer an immediate way out. 
Suppose you are at an airport and your flight is delayed. This is a negative scenario that makes you panic and consider opportunities that you might miss out on because of it.
You can solve this situation if you start actively looking for the positive. It is important to re-examine the current situation and reconsider the perceived problem as a potential opportunity. So, instead of focusing on what you might be missing out on, why not list other things you can achieve while waiting for your flight? You can, for example, finish important work or enjoy a sudden rest. This will distract you from negative thoughts, as you will begin to look for positive aspects and optimize your time. 
Conclusion
Negative thinking is bad for every aspect of our lives. With the help of these little secrets, you can finally get off the ground and start seeing the world around you in a color other than gray and black.
Negative thinking cause or result of depression?
Does negative thinking create a depressive mood, or does negative thinking lead to depression? Let's figure it out.
Depressed Mood Creates Negative Thinking
Our mood influences our thoughts. When we feel happy, we think positively. We see and remember the world as good. But let yourself be sad and our thoughts change in a completely different direction. Rose-colored glasses fly off, black ones are right there. Now a bad mood fills us with memories of bad events. Relationships with loved ones seem unstable, self-esteem goes down, hope for the future fades, people's behavior is directed against us .... Depression increases. For example, people who are depressed remember that their parents were cold and inattentive to them. On the other hand, people who have gone through depression remember their parents as loving and benevolent, just like people who have never suffered from depression.
Negative thoughts are the cause of a depressed mood.
It's normal to feel depressed when a person is going through major stress - job loss, divorce or relationship breakdown, the death of a loved one, or any experience that disrupts our awareness of who we are and why we are worthy people. A person easily adapts to such stresses, but the way he continues to explain the situations that happen to him after depression greatly affects his mood. People who are prone to depression react to negative events very painfully, and thereby expose themselves to further bouts of depression. For example, a person who expects praise for each of his actions will become discouraged every time his expectations are not confirmed and .. now depression and a “world full of evil people” are just around the corner.
What do you think?
My answer:
Yul, first I want to be a little boring - can I?
Depression is a psychiatric diagnosis. When symptoms - lack of interest in life, lethargy, depression, reduced body tone, gloomy thoughts, and so on - own a person and determine his condition for more than six months.
Depressive mood is a state of “here and now”. It can be caused by external factors - weather, some current situation, contact with someone, it can be caused by physiology - asthenic physique with schizoid accentuation as a basic predisposition, PMS, hormonal failure - as a factor in current physiology. And you can often fall into a depressive mood if the mental reality of a person is overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety, fear, pain - i.e. the perception of life goes through the frame of negative feelings, emotions, thinking. This is still called in psychiatry - as far as I remember - a mood disorder.
It seems to me that a depressive mood - in the context of the current life situation - can be quite resourceful and necessary - here and now - a state. These can be states of fatigue - when depression - as in the literal translation of "decrease" in the levels of energy expenditure and interest in the world - is necessary for recuperation. Or the experience of loss - in any area of life - quite adequately triggers a depressive mood.
If, however, almost any event is perceived by a person primarily with a touch of negativity - and a depressive mood is his basic state - then this can already be classified as a mood disorder. Initiated - in my opinion - disorders of perception.
The habit of negative thinking is the most damaging to health. Negative emotions and thoughts are not only anger, anger and hatred, but also fear, excitement, worries, stress, despondency and other negative states. And although diseases do not appear immediately, sometimes even after years, you can get rid of them, only.
The reader will say that while living on Earth in this difficult time it is impossible not to experience negative emotions, there is too much negativity around - but we simply have no other choice!
Our emotional state and our health, environment, success or failure in life - everything is very interconnected. Our very life in this world depends precisely on the thoughts and emotions that come off the assembly line of our consciousness. And if all the people of the Earth knew this and applied it in their lives - you can imagine what kind of world we would already live in! But one person cannot change life on the entire planet, but he can change my life, replacing negative thinking with positive!
What are our thoughts and emotions, and how are they related to our health? Every thought and emotion radiated into space is (vibration) energy, of a certain frequency and density. For example, we can take the thought and emotion of anger and anger, in this case a person develops and fills the structure of his subtle body with low and gross energies that pollute, cause blockages and plugs in the channels, which results in illness.
In Eastern medicine, such blockages are removed with the help of acupuncture. It is believed that about 5,000 diseases can be cured with acupuncture, which is close to the truth, since contamination of the structure of the human subtle body leads to a huge number of diseases.
You can determine the contamination of the structures of your subtle body on your own by the following signs - pain, lower temperature of some parts of the body, muscle spasms, when probing the channels with your hand, you can feel cold stripes under the skin - all this indicates contamination of the channels. The pain we experience when pressing on the stomach is also one of the signs of pollution of the abdominal energy distributor, cold hands are also a sign of pollution of the chest energy distributor. The disease itself is already a sign of contamination of the structure of the subtle body, and in almost all cases recovery comes immediately from negative energies - but not earlier, sometimes you need to be patient for this. Only by fully realizing and understanding the harm of negative thinking for health, many diseases can be avoided, and as a first step, it is necessary to analyze what thoughts and emotions you experience during the day, remembering that this energy either gives health or pollutes the structure of the subtle body and leads to diseases.
Only with the help of self-discipline can you get rid of negative thinking by changing your attitude towards the world and negative situations, because your irritation, resentment or anger will still not change anything, and by changing energies from negative to positive, you will not only save your health, but also be able to influence the situation itself. This knowledge has long been known in the East (especially in India, the keeper of ancient secret knowledge), but, unfortunately, it has only recently become available to Western people.
As opposed to negative states of consciousness, there are positive ones that give positive energies. The properties of these energies are high and subtle, and they never pollute the energy system, but cleanse it of negativity. Higher-frequency and subtler energy is always stronger than low-frequency one; when they interact, a slow cleansing of negative energies occurs. An example is the case when a person fell ill with cancer four times, but each time he cured himself with laughter therapy, watching comedies and cartoons. This example clearly illustrates the health benefits of positive thinking. The man himself is, in fact, the Soul, clothed in a corporeal shell. Soul and Spirit nourish the body with energy, without which a person could not exist. The human soul is both an emitter and receiver of energy, and it is always connected with God and the Universe. A person radiates his energies and receives from God a rain of the energy of Love every second, without it he could not live even a few days.
It is important to understand that it is our spiritual essence that nourishes the structure of the subtle body, that is, the person himself, all organs and all cells, and the physical health of a person depends on this nutrition. Negative thinking not only leads to illnesses, but also alienates a person from God, from his Divine essence, and although going down is easier than climbing up, the only correct way is the spiritual development of one's eternal essence - Soul and Spirit.
When the vibrations of the Soul rise to the level of Love, all illnesses will remain in the past. In high states of consciousness, negative energy simply cannot appear, and, consequently, diseases will bypass. You can rise to the level of vibration of Love only by striving for Love, for example, for another person or God. The very striving for Love is a striving for God, and it does not go unnoticed. Prayer (from the word "say" to God, not "beg" God) is one of the important and effective ways to increase the vibrations of the Soul. There are many examples of healing through prayer, although such healings sometimes take months and sometimes years. It is impossible to know the full complexity of all energy exchanges.
In ancient times they said: know yourself - and you will become like God. Know that you are not a servant of God, but a spiritual being, a child of God, and the meaning of your life is the development of consciousness, the evolution of the Soul. Understand that as such, there is only the eternal life of a person who comes into the next incarnation on Earth with the sole purpose of developing consciousness and gaining experience, which is our treasure and inalienable property for centuries. Spending the time of your life on pleasing only the physical body is unworthy for the children of God, who are given the opportunity of eternal development and self-improvement, because even Jesus Christ said: you are gods!
Not every person is aware of how strong the thinking that he has influence on his personal life, as well as the lives of the people around him. In modern psychology, thinking is defined as a peculiar process of reflecting reality and cognition of this very reality. In fact, the essence of thinking lies in the fact that it is one of the tools that a person has for use in daily activities. Let's try to understand the nature of negative and positive thinking.
Negative thinking.
Negative thinking is the lowest level of development of thinking and it is based in part on the past experience of the individual and others. Any experience has pain and mistakes, as a result - the older a person gets, the more negative his thinking becomes. At the same time, such thinking itself creates many problems in the life of an individual, increasing its negative essence. And so it can go on ad infinitum - the more negative thinking, the more problems are created in life, and the more problems lead to even more negative thinking ...
Negative thinking itself is based on a person's denial of what makes her uncomfortable, in other words, she doesn't like it. At the same time, by focusing his attention on such aspects of his life, a person tries to get rid of, but thereby only aggravates the discomfort, as he begins to “peer” more closely into an unpleasant reality. At this time, the focus of consciousness is removed from pleasant things that a person ceases to notice. And it turns out that a person sees his life only in a negative light.
It must be admitted that by focusing on the negative, a person begins to spend on a psychological struggle with him, in particular: he is looking for the guilty, the reasons for failures, is engaged in self-digging, looking for excuses, and so on. In all the proposed prospects, I am sure of their failure. By focusing on problems, people with a negative mindset are unable to see the new opportunities and chances that life is constantly generously presenting.
8. stinginess and savings in material and emotional terms
Positive thinking.
Positive thinking is the next, higher stage in the development of personality thinking and it is based on the search for benefits in everything that surrounds a person. While the negative thinker will give up further action after a few setbacks, finding many reasons to do so, the positive thinker will redouble his drive, while finding ways to win. Positive thinking is thinking that allows a person to accept new opportunities in the world around him. Such a person is open to experiment, open to new information, being in constant development.
It is important that such a person does not have fears that hold him back. The absence of fear barriers, and focusing on the positive, allows such a person to see benefits for himself even in failures. While a person with negative thinking counts the possible losses from failure, he counts at this time what he was able to gain through defeat.
The main characteristics of a positive thinker include:
1. the desire to live better than at the moment
2. looking for the clear benefits of everything new
3. desire to receive new information
4. search for various opportunities to help you live better
5. Observation of other people's successes and learning from experience and knowledge
6. calm and even attitude to their own successes
7. idea generation, fantasizing
8. generosity with positive and material gifts, but without excessive extravagance
Almost the entire history of great discoveries and human accomplishments is the history of people with positive thinking. It must be learned that it is thinking that is the root of all failures and victories. Not the surrounding reality and not even the environment of a person, not and not karma, but just thinking - negative or positive.
