10 months ago
What to give your brother for his birthday is a rather difficult question, because it is the brother who is often the closest person who will always support in difficult times and give valuable advice. If, moreover, the elder brother, then he has a special authority for us throughout life. A gift for him should be useful and, at the same time, be a pleasant surprise. In this article, you will find 5 ideas for yourself. We offer you a gift for your brother's birthday with his own hands, which, of course, he will like.
Care, love and attention are the most priceless gifts
What to consider when choosing a gift
Choosing a gift for a man is never an easy task. Unlike women, with whom everything is more or less clear, and for whom sweets and flowers will be relevant in any case, men are more secretive. In order to understand what to give your brother for his birthday with your own hands, you should conduct a whole study of the gifted person:
- What is he interested in?
- What is his profession?
- What does he love the most?
DIY slippers
Slippers for home - this is the thing without which not a single person on earth can do. Such a do-it-yourself gift to a brother can be considered a win-win and is quite easy to make.
Perhaps the most difficult thing is to find the material that will serve as the sole. But there is a trick - many stores sell thick insoles for shoes, which are quite cheap. It is enough to know the size of the brother's foot and purchase such a sole several sizes larger. In order not to make a mistake with the choice, it is best to take measurements in advance. So that no one guesses about your gift, just take a piece of paper and a pen and circle the outline of his shoes. If the insoles of the right size were not found, a clean piece of carpet, or a thick fabric folded in several layers, will help out.
A photo blanket with your childhood photos will definitely not leave your brother indifferent
After the base for slippers is ready, you need to make it pleasant for the foot. You can make a synthetic winterizer or any other soft lining and sheathe it with a fabric that is pleasant to the touch.
Anything can serve as the material for the top - plush, hand-knitted or any other fabric that is at hand. To make the birthday man even more pleasant, you should come up with an application made of fabric that will talk about his hobby, profession, favorite animal or musical group. An embroidered inscription will also look good. Such a do-it-yourself birthday present for a brother from a sister will certainly be appreciated.
Card
When thinking about what to give your brother for his birthday with your own hands from your sister, you should not forget about holiday card . She is an absolute hit among the presents. You need to find a fairly dense sheet of cardboard and decide for yourself what you can do better - beautifully paint or decorate with appliqué.
The gentleman's set is a great gift for a young and cheerful guy
If you chose the first option, then you should not have any difficulties, except for choosing the theme of the picture. Here you need to remember what your brother is fond of. If his hobby is fishing, you can draw a big goldfish or pike, wishing the fulfillment of cherished desires. If his hobby is motorcycling, you can draw a silhouette on a motorcycle and wish him more happy and driving moments. For the big boss, a postcard with a large image of a dollar, decorated in gold or green, will be relevant, which will certainly bring good luck to its owner in career growth and financial affairs.
If you opted for applique, then you have a huge scope for creativity - from colored paper to small accessories sold in a hobby store. Also, do not forget that in order to make your postcard more valuable to your brother, you can print his photos and glue a collage inside. For example, you can use clippings from a magazine to portray the fulfillment of his dream. If your brother has been dreaming of a car for a long time, glue the cut out car and stick his photo on the driver's seat. Such creativity, of course, will not leave you indifferent. Perhaps even, thanks to the visualization of what you want, your present will speed up the fulfillment of a dream.
Don't forget the bouquet of socks - it will definitely come in handy
The outer side of the postcard can be decorated as you like - up to soft lining with fabric, or appliqué in the form of a men's shirt.
But the most important thing is, of course, congratulations, which should come from the heart, expressing the value of this person for you. It will be great if you can write a short congratulatory verse, taking into account the subtleties of the personality of the birthday man.
T-shirt
T-shirts- this is an indispensable element in the wardrobe of every man, they love them for their comfort and practicality. And if at the same time, a T-shirt with an author's drawing, unique in its kind and made especially for him, such a thing will definitely become his favorite, and will always remind you of his donor.
To “cook” a T-shirt, you must first of all find a picture on the Internet that your brother will like. After that, it should be printed on a special, thermal transfer paper, which can also be found on the Internet. Following the instructions, transfer to a cotton T-shirt or sweatshirt, wait until the pattern cools down, then rinse it in cold water.
A personalized bathrobe with a pleasant reminder that he is the best brother will certainly become his favorite clothes
Note! If your brother has an order with a sense of humor, fit
Pillow with a photo
In the same way, you can transfer a printed photo of a brother, family, his hobby or a funny childhood moment onto a piece of white cloth. For the pillow itself, it is best to choose a colorful, bright fabric that will look good in the interior of the birthday man's apartment. It will be most convenient to sew a square-shaped pillow - then the photo will fit into it without any problems. The photo should be sewn neatly to the fabric before you completely sew the pillowcase.
You will also greatly simplify your task if you order a printout of a photo on fabric in a special shop.
Knitted scarf
What kind of man is alien to comfort and warmth in the winter season? Thinking about what you can give your brother for his birthday with your own hands, you should not forget about knitted scarf . If you know how to crochet or knit even a little, then this idea is for you. There are many patterns of scarves and collars on the Internet. Men's wardrobe is good because it does not require special frills in patterns. You just need to choose a warm, not prickly, thick thread that matches the color of his hat. Deciding on a knitting style is also simple; it can be knitting with a column, without any ornaments.
... Girls and women who turn to psychologists often complain: “In our time, normal men have completely disappeared in Russia, and therefore it is almost impossible to meet a more or less suitable person ... I just have no idea what to do! How to find a friend or husband? Where to look for them? Please give me the right advice...
Let's try to deal with this issue.
Let's start with the fact that we immediately recognize the correctness of Russian women.
The general situation in modern Russia is such that society really experiences a catastrophic shortage of men of the very category that is the most lovingly attractive for girls and women.
What is meant by the definition of "a man of the most lovingly attractive category"? According to my surveys, these are men aged 23-45 who have a higher education (at least a good secondary vocational), who are striving to make a career on their own or who have already created a more or less solid financial “reserve”, who do not have bad habits (they can smoke and drink, but should not be drunken alcoholics or drug addicts), possessing at least relatively good physical health, not convicted, not married (or divorced).
Now let's go in order.
Life, like a big sieve, annually "thinns" the ranks of all members of society through a whole host of very different "social filters", ranging from youthful craving for everything "extreme" and ending with tests for attitudes towards alcohol, drugs, the presence of those very strong-willed and mental qualities that allow you to get an education, make a successful career, build those love relationships correctly that can lead to the creation of a family and the birth of children.
The most “asocial” (or the least social), that is, those who pass these very “social filters” much worse, are currently men. Since the biological essence of a man from his youth is the desire to become a leader, a kind of “dominant male”, which is the most attractive to all the surrounding “females”, the other “males” next to him are, first of all, “irritants” for him. Therefore, the behavior of those young men and men who wish to “stand out from the crowd”, please women and create love relationships with them, is and will always be conflicting, oppositional, somewhat extreme and therefore ... deadly for them.
We list only the most basic "social filters".
Social filter #1. "Filter of youthful risk".
As you know, the number of born boys and girls is approximately the same. Moreover, at the time of birth, the number of boys even slightly exceeds the number of young women of the same year of birth. However, already by the age limit of 16-18 years, after which the period of the most active love-marital behavior begins, the situation changes significantly ...
Due to their masculine nature, namely, the difficultly “interrupted” biological desire to “test themselves for strength”, to prove their qualities of a “real man”, due to their neglect of elementary precautions, boys and young men are much more likely than their peers to drown in rivers and lakes, break down from rocks, roofs and balconies, crash on motorcycles, mopeds and cars, disappear forever in the taiga, freeze during winter hikes in the forest, are blown up by improvised and military explosive devices, beat each other to death in teenage fights, die from the bites of encephalitis ticks, get under cars and trains. They are electrocuted, snow avalanches fall asleep, they die from gasoline fumes in garages, fall through the ice, unable to withstand the reproaches of their parents or the suffering of their first unhappy love, they commit suicide ...
So, already at the age of 16–18, there are significantly fewer boys than girls. Then the “education filter” and “army filter” are included.
Social filter #2. Education filter.
The “education filter” is turned on at least twice: the first time when young men decide whether to continue their education after finishing the ninth grade (incomplete secondary education), the second time when they finish the eleventh grade (complete secondary education) and are preparing to enter to universities.
In the first and second cases, the situation is generally the same. Those young people who turn out to be physically and psychologically more “mature”, those who begin their sexual life earlier than their peers, those who (as it seems to them) have already “learned to understand life correctly” and clearly understood that “learning is much worse than to start earning money and female respect right now”, find themselves in a real “social trap”, a kind of “social dead end”.
Those who seemed to be a clear teenage leader (or were among the entourage of teenage leaders) and refused to continue their studies (in universities, school, vocational schools, etc.) in order to go into either production or trade , or into the sphere of crime, in the end they turn out to be deceived by themselves. By the age of about 25-30, they begin to envy their once more “backward”, but, in the end, “in fact” peers who turned out to be more successful, who received higher education and are better “settled” in life.
The result of the operation of the second "education filter" is visible to the "naked eye" and is especially noticeable in two planes at once:
- firstly, already in the 10th-11th grades, and then in universities, the “female majority” clearly begins to prevail. Moreover, in recent years, even in those faculties that were traditionally considered exclusively "male";
- secondly, those young people who were more sexually active and seemed to be the clear favorites of girls aged 14–20 years, already by the age of 25–30 years (that is, by the time these men begin to be of the greatest interest to women with from the point of view of creating a family) almost completely lose their value for those ladies who set themselves the goal of achieving for themselves (and their children) a high social status and material security.
If these men cannot overcome the fourth "social filter" - the "filter of social disadvantage", then they will completely disappear into oblivion. Moreover, most often not only love-marriage, but also physical ...
Social filter #3. Army filter.
In every society, the army has its weighty word. Now, the army mainly includes guys from not very prosperous social strata: those who did not receive a complete secondary education at school, residents of impoverished rural areas, guys from workers' settlements and urban outskirts, those who could not find their place in life who could not study at a vocational school or university, who chose between the “zone” and the barracks for himself after all the barracks.
Of those who become officers, about half are the children of regular officers, who constitute the professional core of the army. The second half are those who managed to get a higher education, but the level of social opportunities of his relatives was not high enough to save this young man from service.
Further, the situation looks something like this: hazing, conflicts on ethnic grounds, careless handling of weapons during exercises, real military operations (etc., etc.) annually take hundreds and thousands of lives of young soldiers and officers. Which, of course, is immediately reflected in the general situation in the sphere of love-marriage relations.
In addition, a certain percentage of those men who return from the army alive are either morally broken or physically crippled (become disabled, acquired chronic diseases). Naturally, it becomes much more difficult to compete with those more successful men who have happily avoided military service while pursuing their own careers.
Do not forget about those who remain to serve in the army as regular officers. In the 21st century, the popularity of suitors-officers is much lower than that of suitors-managers, suitors-officials and suitors-bandits. Alas…
Taking into account the fact that thousands of men of the most attractive love-marriage age from 18 to 27 years old pass through the crucible of the army every year, all this also causes significant damage to the Russian love-marriage demographics.
Social filter #4. "Filter of social adaptation".
That large group of men who at one time refused to continue their studies, first in grades 10–11, and then in vocational schools and universities, who could not “acclimatize in civilian life” after serving or working in the army, whose character traits prevented the normal building of relationships with colleagues at work (especially with management!), who could not show the patience necessary in modern society and fell into the trap of a criminal desire to get all material benefits not in the process of painstaking work, but “quickly and immediately”, by the age of 23-27 years begin to acutely feel their “inferiority” in comparison with those of their more educated and calmer peers who once tacitly recognized the unspoken leadership of teenage “district kings”.
The realization that they are no longer clear leaders in the struggle for female attention begins to greatly annoy those men who once exchanged the need to study for an early pseudo “adult” lifestyle at the age of 14–18 and ... found themselves in a youthful “social trap."
At the age of 23-27, they face a simple choice of two options:
Option "A". Humble your pride, admit your life mistakes, still get an education (higher or at least vocational) and learn to obey other, more successful men.
Option "B". Choose the path of self-destruction, that is, become an alcoholic, drug addict, criminal, fall into the “risk group” for diseases such as tuberculosis, syphilis, AIDS, hepatitis, etc. etc.
Life practice shows that the bulk of the once “too early matured men” chooses the second path for themselves ...
Thus begins another powerful social "thinning" that continues throughout life. As a result, a huge number of physically healthy men are completely socially degraded by the age of 30–35: they end up in prisons, become drunkards or die from hard drinking, overdoses and diseases, turn into homeless people, etc. etc.
The logical consequence of this is that, according to the author's own calculations, out of every 100 men:
- no more than 80–85 people survive to the age of 30;
- of them receives a more or less decent education, "finds its place in life" no more than 40 (!).
But by the age of 30, out of 100, about 60 girls and women who have received an education and are already successfully working (!). And this “overlay” of about 40 successful men on about 70 successful women creates huge “distortions” both in the field of love-family demographics and in ... the field of love acquaintances. This is the most important reason for female loneliness!
Social filter #5. success filter.
By the age limit of 30–35 years, the number of those men who may be of interest to girls and women completely ceases to cover the need of the beautiful half of humanity for a “strong shoulder”.
At the same time, the remaining “normal” part of the men, like an iceberg that has fallen into the waters of the warm Gulf Stream ocean current, continues to thin and melt from both sides at once ...
On the one hand, the negative “filter of social adaptation” continues its work, which leads to the fact that, unable to withstand love or family crises, layoffs at work, failure of business projects (etc., etc.), some part already fully grown men continue to drink too much, end up in prisons, socially descend, become disabled due to health, etc.
On the other hand, another social filter is actively activated - the “success filter”.
The "filter of success" is a test of the "strength" of men by success. Careful observation of the lives of successful officials, businessmen, bankers, politicians (and even bandits) shows:
At least half of successful men
becomes a victim of precisely ... his own success!
Some men become victims of “expensive emergencies”: they crash on high-speed cars, scooters and snowmobiles, drown on boats and yachts, die while diving, while windsurfing, crash while parachuting, hang-gliding, ski slopes, become victims of tragic accidents in hunting, fishing, etc. etc.
In addition, some become drunkards, many successful men, due to sudden arrogance, get involved in serious conflicts and die from contract killings, some acquire so many mistresses that they then lose their hard-earned property in divorce proceedings, are left with nothing and gradually sink to the social bottom.
As a result, destroying themselves, Russian men doom Russian women to a lot of problems ...
Having completed the consideration of the results of the work of these only the most basic "social filters", we can see the following:
Given the fact that women (as expectant mothers who cannot survive in splendid isolation) feel more closely connected (rather than opposed, like men) with the society around them, they tend not to oppose themselves to society (as men do), and almost resignedly adapt to it, accept its "rules of the game", "dissolve" in it.
As a result of their certain “social obedience”, readiness to meekly obey the rules of the “social game” imposed on them, women are much easier than men to overcome various “social filters”, get an education, make their careers with a minimum of conflicts, become successful entrepreneurs of the “middle hand” ".
Nowadays, by the age of 27–35, the percentage of “successful” women on average turns out to be much higher than the percentage of “successful” men, and the very number of more or less decent “male options” does not at all cover the needs of average and successful girls and women. In the future, a simple pattern is visible: the percentage of successful women is increasing and increasing (by 100% of women in this age group), the percentage of successful men is drastically decreasing ... As a result, successful women simply do not have enough successful men.
Thus, we can say directly:
Those modern girls and women who have a good education, try to make a career on their own and take at least a middle (or high) position in society, are literally from the very beginning doomed to difficulties and problems in finding for themselves more or less worthy representatives of the “male tribe”. And that's exactly what it is!
The situation is further worsened by the presence of at least two additional unfavorable factors:
Unfavorable factor #1
"Cross Marriage Traditions".
Due to the love-marriage traditions that are accepted in our society, most often men tend to start a family with those girls or women who are several years younger than them. (In real practice, the difference in the age of partners averages from 3 to 10 years. Marriages, when partners are separated by 15–20 years, are also not a particular rarity). Accordingly, girls and women also look first of all at partners of older age classes.
If we impose this tradition on what we have just talked about above, namely, on that socio-demographic pattern, according to which for each subsequent “borderline” age limit (at 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 years) the number men of a given age becomes noticeably smaller than the number of their female peers, we get the following:
A girl, say, 20 years old, trying to find a friend or a husband in the age group of 25-30 years old, is faced not only with the fact that most of the men of this age are already married, but also with the fact that girls compete with them for these same men. and women of both younger and older age categories (aged 16 to 40). But, the most important thing is that the very number of men of a given age ... already initially cannot cover the needs of women even of their own age!
It is already more than difficult for a young woman of 25-30 years to find an unmarried and quite successful man at the age of 35-40. The chances of a woman aged 30–35 meeting an unmarried and successful man aged 35–45 are minimal…
Unfavorable factor #2
"Leaders don't mix well with leaders."
Male leaders are male leaders because they strive for undivided dominance. Since only absolutely outstanding people can achieve unquestioning obedience to those around them, the bulk of male leaders try to dominate at least in their own love and family relationships. If the partner or wife of such a man also strives to be "the mistress of the house", this almost inevitably leads to a crisis and a break in relations. A woman-leader is not needed by a man-leader!
As a result, a fairly significant group of those women who are accustomed from their youth to lead everything and everything, almost completely lose the opportunity to establish long-term love and family relationships with those male leaders who are close to them in spirit.
Refusing to communicate with men from the social and educational "lower classes", unable to build relationships with male leaders competing with them, successful women are most often forced to be content with connections with those middle-class men who still need to be found and for whom they also have to fight. …
This pattern makes more or less successful women aged 25–40 strive to break out of this “vicious circle” and forces them to give their attention to younger male gigolos who gladly refuse to communicate with younger girls in exchange for solid social guarantees. older wealthy ladies.
Seven general conclusions about the situation with female loneliness
Those love-marriage trends that are present in modern Russian society unequivocally testify to the following:
Conclusion #1
At present, it is very difficult for girls and women to find such a partner in love and family relationships that would correspond to their ideas about a “real man”. This is due to the fact that in today's complex society, men pass social filters very poorly and demonstrate a clear tendency to self-destruction.
And here it is worth emphasizing again:
Just a "demographic-arithmetic" correspondence between the number of men and the number of women in the love-marital sphere does not work! Among young women, the percentage of educated and more or less successful, according to the author of the book, is already significantly higher than the percentage of educated and more or less successful Russian men. And these women no longer want to be friends and create families “just with men”! They need well-educated, cultured and responsible men.
But just with such people now in our society - "tension" ...
Modern successful women no longer want to communicate and live with losers and "middle peasants"! They believe that they have already earned more "worthwhile" friends and husbands. And they are absolutely right in this!
Unfortunately, not all men understand this ...
Conclusion #2
For those ladies who strive to be successful, finding a “real man” is several times more difficult than for “ordinary” representatives of the fair sex. This is due to the fact that almost all women take part in the battle for successful men, there are quite a few men in this category, and they themselves do not get along well with women leaders and are always prone to forming “left” connections (and women leaders do not forgive !).
(Do not forget that the moral and psychological “leader complex” directly contributes to the fact that a successful man tries to extend his “sexual power” to as many women as possible and, as a result, does not know how to value the relationships that he already has ).
Conclusion #3
The amorous optimism that characterizes girls aged 18–23, who think they have many “options” for men who meet them and are ready to marry, is nothing more than illusory.
If a girl aged 18–23 fails to “secure” one of her peers or “potential suitors” of a different age, if she “drags out” her love relationships too much (they will last more than three years), the task of her successful marriage turn into a rather serious problem.
It will still be quite possible for her to marry, but the quality of the “male material” from which she will be allowed to choose will no longer be the best. Convulsively clutching at "what is left", such girls most often make mistakes, give birth to children, get divorced and ... remain single.
Conclusion #4
Having failed to marry before the age of 25–27, the bulk of girls and young women are doomed to seek their husband either in the younger (18–25) or much older (35–50) male age classes, and to consider as "forced options" of criminals, men without education, "losers in life" or foreigners. Alas…
Conclusion #5
The difficulties associated with finding a friend, lover or husband lead to the fact that, being in the conditions of a severe shortage of men, many Russian women are forced to give up any manifestations of “discrimination” and practically do not pay attention to such indicators that they still had value, say, in the 1980s.
For example, many modern girls and women are no longer embarrassed by the overweight or obvious dystrophy of her friend, the fact that he can be much shorter than her height, the presence of severe chronic diseases in him, the obvious unsatisfactoriness of his moral and psychological qualities (indecision or outright cowardice, a tendency to to be an "opportunist", laziness, irresponsibility, extreme selfishness, etc. etc.).
This phenomenon can be conditionally called "forced humanism." Women want other men, but they understand that they simply do not exist ...
Conclusion No. 6
Any young man or man who has received a higher education, does not have dangerous habits (alcoholism, drug addiction, criminal habits) and has at least some life and love activity, can quite easily arrange his personal and family life and has the very choice that the usual average girl or woman aged 25-35 years. Especially if a man can boast of having at least some property or a high social status.
Conclusion No. 7
The complexity of the situation in the field of choosing their relationship partners by girls and women leads the author to the idea that the issue of expanding the circle of potential husbands, or, more simply, the issue of dating, in our time should be given not episodic and random (from one disco or corporate party to other), but the most serious attention.
If the fair sex is not active in matters of dating, they will be doomed to such a meager choice from among the "married", "pensioners", gigolos, criminals and foreigners that the likelihood of meeting the man with whom it will be possible to create a serious relationship, will be reduced to almost zero ...
The increase in the number of single successful girls and women is mainly due to the fact that many Russian men ... simply do not keep up with women! Not only are they inferior to them in education, culture of behavior, diligence, responsibility and ability for career growth - they become drunkards with enviable persistence, turn into drug addicts, degrade morally and physically and rush to prison bunk beds.
And if respected men are reading these lines now, the author asks them to think a little about all this ...
All that we talked about above, at first glance, may seem very sad for women and to some extent beneficial for men. However, in reality - all this is equally bad for both.
The general shortage in society of men with normal moral and psychological attitudes, vitality and good health leads to an increase in female nervousness, an increase in social conflict and, ultimately, hits the same men, the lack of which irritates the female majority so much.
(c) Andrey Zberovsky, psychologist.
In the modern world, with the development of technology, a person, oddly enough, is becoming more and more lonely. Therefore, finding a soul mate is becoming increasingly difficult, especially for a girl. Sometimes the thought comes into women's heads that there are no normal guys. In fact this is not true.
First of all, you need to understand yourself. Perhaps the reason lies precisely here? If this is true, then the girl has to do a great job. Often, by changing yourself, you can change those around you. The girl needs to turn to her character. If it is very bad, it needs to be changed urgently. This is not an easy task, but you can still try. As they say: "Be simple - and people will be drawn to you." Compliant character and behavior will be useful throughout life, so you need to start working on it right now. Most likely, it will be useful to reconsider your attitude towards people. Sometimes we demand too much from others without giving them anything in return.
This kind of behavior repels people and should be fought hard. In addition to internal qualities, do not forget about appearance. Like it or not, but "they are met by clothes." Therefore, the girl should not forget to care for and take care of herself. The first impression is the appearance, and she is the most memorable. But that's not all, work on yourself involves many important little things. One of them is the manner of communication. You should not start a too friendly and familiar conversation at the first meeting.
But at the same time, you should not remain too shy for quite a long time: this can bother the guy, which is not at all necessary. Everything should be in moderation. In fact, it is necessary to act differently with different people and in different situations. And this also needs to be well learned. Having worked out your own style and manner of communication, which will have and attract you, you can achieve a lot. But this is not the end, since such a problem has arisen, it is necessary to solve it with an integrated approach.
It is important to thoroughly understand yourself, identify shortcomings and develop a plan to deal with them. After all the problems have been eradicated, the question of what to do if there is no boyfriend will no longer be so difficult. After all, most likely it will be a matter of time.
The girl needs to pay attention to her surroundings: maybe not only there are no good guys in her circle of friends, but they simply cannot appear there. It is clear that you should not stop communicating with friends, but perhaps you need to look for new ones. Just a girl should expand her circle of friends. It can also be useful for other purposes, so efforts will not be in vain. And all due to the fact that, often among the closest circle of communication, worthy candidates are not found. Another obstacle to happiness can be increased requests.
Often a girl is looking for not just a guy, but a guy with an apartment, a car, handsome, smart, young, wealthy and to carry in her arms for the rest of her life. Unfortunately, this happens extremely rarely, so the girl would do well to reduce her appetite. So, when the main problems are eliminated, you need to pay attention to one curious circumstance. A girl should not think too much about how to start dating a guy, because she is a GIRL! She, by definition, deserves to be happy.
It is better not to bother about this and just wait for your time and the "prince on a white horse." Every girl, of any age, character, appearance should know her worth. She shouldn't throw herself at anyone who (she might think) likes her. This should be not only a rule of etiquette, but also a firm life position for every girl. And finally, the last factor is the reason for the absence of a boyfriend: simple bad luck. Yes, that's bad luck. It's just that all the good guys so far bypass the girl who is really waiting for her "prince". Villainy rule! Here already, most likely, nothing can be done. . .
Interestingly, people usually meet their truly soul mate suddenly and rather by accident. That is why you need to relax and just go with the flow. Sooner or later, something really good will appear on the horizon.
Thanks to this article, you could learn about what to do if there is no boyfriend. It turns out that this problem is quite solvable. You should not just think too much about it, but you should make a little effort and diligence. Then everything will surely work out.
Moderators, I beg you to let it go. I would like to see a polylogue.
hi all. I want to say right away: if you do not agree with what is written, this does not mean that yours is true. likewise, I do not claim to be 100% correct. I just want to tell you my situation and listen to your opinion.
I am 28 years old. working. I graduated from the institute with a red diploma, I progressed quite well at work, therefore I earn decent money. I am completely independent and self-sufficient. I live the way I want and do what I see fit. I don't have a husband/boyfriend/lover. and all because I hate men. I can't stand them. they have never understood and do not understand us, women, so that this understanding is enough for a harmonious existence together. women are fools for them, always stupider than themselves (well, of course!), snotty hysterics, etc. But are they themselves saints? nihilists, preoccupied people and, in general, creatures that are similar in many respects to a primitive primitive man.
At the age of 19, I fell in love for the first time. he was a handsome, athletic guy with a great appearance. was seven years older than me. met through mutual friends. I fell in love with him without memory, ran around with my tail - so I wanted him to at least talk to me (he was a man of an inquisitive mind, witty). bold. Finally, I managed to get him something. began to meet. Literally on the first date, he offered me sex. I refused. he was offended. I called him, didn't pick up. Then he called himself and offered to meet after a while. met. talked, went to the movies. he invited me home, treated me to great champagne ... yes, he took my virginity. I fell in love with him as much as a young girl can ever fall in love. however, all my bright hopes were not destined to come true: I never saw him again, he changed phones. as it turned out, he just wanted me. just my body.
OK. I survived it. for two years. two years of constant tantrums and pain. then I met him - a caring good-natured guy, he was my colleague. He was four years older than me. he constantly joked and entertained me, helped with business and morally supported me. I gave in. we started dating. did you already guess? he just fucked me and then dumped me. yes, this good-natured fellow with cute blue eyes just left the one who believed him and gave herself and the love that arose in herself. I quit my job.
after these freaks in my life there were only casual connections. just sex, nothing personal. men do not interest me as people, just like we do them. no one cares about the inner world. I work and do not complain about anything. I don't think about a glass of water in my old age. in vain? Maybe. but that's how I live. I'm listening to you now.
Yesterday I came across a description of one wonderful experiment with mice, which will help us understand why there are no normal men left in the world and women have become independent.
Be sure to read to the end. After describing the experiment, I stated my thoughts.
How to create a paradise? It's hard to say, at least in relation to humans. John B. Calhoun tried to create a paradise for mice: a two-by-two square tank one and a half meters high. argued that the social effects of overpopulation of rats observed in experiments can be considered as a model for the future of human civilization.
The description of this experiment is quite common: in Rosenzweig, Hawke, McCain and Cox, Torrey and Yolkin, even Penrose and Lorentz. The purpose of the experiment was to study the problems of overcrowding. The experiment gave impetus to many studies in this topic, and according to the results of one of them, the area standards per person in prisons in the United States and a number of Western countries were even revised. During the experiment, scientists tried to cut off the influence of other life-determining factors in order to study overcrowding.
In his research, Calhoun introduces the concept of "behavioral sink" - or social behavioral failure, behavioral trap, behavioral whirlpool, behavioral sink: the phenomenon of increasing deviations from the norms of behavior (for example, the rejection of all social interactions) among biological organisms, including people, in conditions of excessive population overcrowding, for example, in a city.
He has spoken at conferences around the world and worked on a variety of NASA projects, such as the District of Columbia project to combat overcrowding in local prisons.
Calhoun is best known for his experiment called Universe 25. In 1972, Calhoun tried with the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) to repeat his series of mouse population control experiments under ideal conditions - to make a paradise for mice.
Food, temperate climate, cleanliness, nests for females, horizontal and vertical passages for males - these are the main features of the mouse paradise. Four pairs of healthy purebred mice were sent to heaven. After 104 days, they had their first offspring. The parents took care of the kids. Universe 25 has entered a golden age. The mice loved each other, and every 55 days the population doubled, only after 315 days the population growth slowed down. In "Universe 25" now lived more than 600 individuals.
It became more difficult for males to defend their territory, now they had to squeeze through the passages, there were almost no free social roles left, as well as free space. There were "outcasts" who began to gather in groups in the center, their sorties met with a fierce rebuff. Soon, mothers began to behave inappropriately - to attack their children, the birth rate fell. Single females moved to the uppermost hard-to-reach nests, and pronounced narcissism began to be increasingly observed among males. These males did not fight, did not desire carnal pleasures - they only ate, slept and engaged in introspection.
But at the same time, cannibalism, rampant sin and violence flourished in the far corners. After 18 months, the growth of the mouse universe finally stopped. And a month later (600 days from the beginning of heavenly life), with a very low number of new pregnancies, the mortality rate of young animals reached 100 percent. Narcissistic males and females hiding in distant burrows have lost the desire and social ability to mate. The mouse society collapsed. Paradise turned into hell - all the mice died. The scientist repeated his experience many times (for 40 years), but the result was the same: at a certain stage, an explosion of violence and hypersexual activity was followed by asexuality and self-destruction.
I have already written before why our society breeds insecure men and independent women. But once again I will describe my point of view in the light of this experiment.
Remember the ancient times, the Middle Ages and the Soviet era. Was it possible for a man in these times to be weak and ride like cheese in butter? Of course not! If he did not hunt with the rest of the tribe, he could simply be killed. If he did not join the army in the Middle Ages, or did not begin to handle weapons, he had little chance in life. If he suffered garbage in the village and did not help his father with the housework, then he became an outcast. Those. it's simple, if you "sat on the couch", then you simply did not survive. Great, huh, motivation? Do nothing - you die. There was no choice! I had to grow up and become strong!
What now? Now you can do nothing, sit on the neck of your parents, lie on the couch all day. Go to the same job and not develop. Parents began to spoil their children, especially mothers. The way out is simple, up to 12 years old a boy with his mother, after 12 years old he is placed at the disposal of his father for the upbringing of independence and masculinity. Becomes a getter and a war.
Society relaxed men took away their motivation, turned them into narcissists who do not want to build a family and take responsibility. Only the strong, inspired by the ideas and dreams of a man's achievements, remained.
But what about women? And what can they do when there are so many weak men around? Of course, take responsibility. Women don't need motivation, they have it! They need to raise children, it is developed in them more strongly. Only wolves and humans, after mating, live together to raise children. All other mammals live according to the scheme: the male did the job and run away. The female raises the children herself, eventually releasing the grown-up males for free bread.
Mammalian genes leave a mark on men. I did the job and I can lie on the couch all day and do nothing. A woman can do it anyway, her genes allow it.
The biggest problem is that biological evolution does not keep pace with the evolution of society. Nature, when creating man, could not imagine that such a society would arise to which our brain would not be able to quickly adapt. Paradox.
In the following articles, we will analyze how to live with it.
