Hello everyone! I am very glad that there are such sites, and that I decided to ask someone for help. I'll tell you a little about myself. I am 22 years old, I am very pretty, sweet and kind. I have never been deprived of male attention, and now the same thing, I can write to anyone I want and easily get a first date. I am not empty, I have a very kind, open and sympathetic soul .I have an anonymous website on which 13 thousand questions have been formed in a year, people turn to me for advice and help in any area of life and I help many people with a word, people are grateful to me, because my advice really gives people the right answers and motivation to actions. I am very wise for my 22, because a lot of bad things happened in life, after which I began to appreciate everything in life, and see the world with some kind of pain in my heart and special sensuality. All men in communication with me admit that I am a very smart girl, I see the world correctly. BUT ... As soon as I start some kind of relationship, they end abruptly. One by one. I often go on dates, after talking in a cafe, I understand whether I want further relationships or not. When I understand what I want, I completely switch I treat this person with all my heart, I make gifts from the bottom of my heart on holidays (in terms of what I like to do for people), there is finally no limit to the joy in my soul, that here is a person with whom I would be glad to build a strong relationship and create a family. But after a month or two, everyone starts to backfire, freezes and disappears altogether. I analyzed, maybe this is all because you can’t show your soul to a person so quickly and treat him like a family. But here’s the problem… I CAN’T DO IT OTHERWISE… I’m like that, sincere and good. And everyone hurts me without explaining leaving me… Will it always be like this? , they want to communicate, and they say that they were wrong, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. I used to think that these were just not my people, but when history repeated itself the other day ... I began to think that it would always be like this, that my kindness would not be for anyone at all I need it. That I somehow misbehave with men ... But I can’t do it differently; (Maybe you have an image of such a very good, calm and quiet girl, and you think that I’m boring to them))) But it’s not, I always the soul of the company, I am very humorous, ambitious, charismatic, I have many envious women ... But this is all to one place, when I plunge into a man with my head ... how to get rid of this? It hurts me very much, I will repel everyone like that ... Advice to everyone I’m strong, I can’t cope with myself ... What do you think? I will gladly listen to everyone.
You love, but they are ready to set you aside, but before they wanted to be with you.
Is it worth it despite this, to go stubbornly forward? Can true love be so complicated?
We met at the end of last year. It happened at the resort. I know - the first reaction, since this is a resort, then the relationship will be limited to only a resort romance. But something more happened. It is important to note that he attracted me with the uncharacteristic behavior of a 29-year-old guy vacationing with a friend on an all-inclusive basis. Attentive, polite, kind, humble. But I was especially struck by the initial sincerity ... After all, usually, when we get to know each other, we try to seem not the same, we are truly. We often pretend to be successful, irresistible, sometimes pretentious .. Few of us can relate to a newly introduced person without all this pretense, and even sincerely good-naturedly. So, that's exactly what he was. All three days that remained until my return home, we spent together. It was like a unity of souls, despite the fact that we knew little about each other.
After I left, he still had a few more days at the resort. He called me regularly from there. Our communication continued after his return home. We wanted to see you again. The only problem was the great distance separating our cities in Russia. I live in the Southern region, it is in the Urals. I must say that while still on vacation, he repeated that he would come to me. But everything turned out exactly the opposite. Time passed to the New Year, the holidays were ahead. "When, if not at this time?" - I thought and decided to tell him about my desire to stay on a visit. He rejoiced! The flight cost decently, considering that there was no other way but through Moscow .. But, for us, this did not become a problem. He paid for my flight, and I stayed with him, because. he lived alone in an apartment. What a time it was!!! Happiness!!!
When I returned to my house, I thought what would happen next? And so, despite his timidity, he said that he wanted me to be with him. Everything seemed great. I wanted it too. We decided to discuss everything as soon as he comes to me. It should have happened in February... But his work did not allow. March - and again no ... Our communication on Skype and phone turned into horror ... Nerves, claims and resentment on my part, disappointment and resentment on his part.
It takes a very long time to describe all the subtleties, the fact was that I didn’t come up with anything more successful than manipulating and stating that if that’s the case, since he can’t come to me, since everything has dragged on and he can’t say anything, then I stop all communication . I must say that even before March, when he failed to come in February, I, of course, began to take offense and sometimes not in the best way to behave. I was bribed by the fact that, despite this, he called me and said that I was his close person, that everything was surmountable, that he could not help but know how I was there. So, counting on the effect of proving feelings for me on his part, at the end of March I announced that I was stopping communication with him. He called a couple of times, I did not pick up the phone and everything was quiet.
Less than a month later, I realized how important this person is to me. I did not want to lose him because of what seemed to be such an absurdity. I took the plunge and emailed him. mail. The letter was very sincere. But nothing from him ... Then I called him for the first time at work. It seemed that he was delighted with my call, promised to call back in the evening. In the evening, he sent me an SMS that he would call the next day. But this did not happen. His brother, was in some way aware of our relationship, and sometimes communicated with me through the social. net. He always expressed a great desire for us to be together. So his brother then told me an unpleasant thing - it turns out that the person dear to me simply did not believe all the words that were spoken and written by me ...
I took a desperate step. I took a plane ticket and came to him ... His brother met me at the airport and brought me to him. Of course, there was a slight shock, but he let me in. During those three days that I was able to be with him, I tried with all my might to show how much I need him, that I sincerely regret what happened. Again, I thought he was happy. It was very difficult to get him into a frank conversation. And that's where it got a little. "Do you need me?" “I need it, but…” On the day of departure, he accompanied me to the airport. And there, I decided to say that I love him.
Upon his return, he called me, but rarely ... said, "I don't know if you should call." There was a feeling that he was afraid to trust. And at one fine moment, when it seemed that everything was going well, he stopped calling. Then, I found out that he had a vacation (I heard about this when I visited him for the second time). But he did not consider it necessary to tell me about it. Even end the relationship, he could not. Although he knew that I was very worried .. Soon I had a vacation. In front of him, I decided to write to him again, not calling for something, but simply describing the fact of our relationship.
He once told me that there is so little sincerity and love in the world, that if you find it, then you need to appreciate such things. And here comes a contradiction.
I know that it is possible to the true cause, I will never get to it, but I really want to know why it happened this way? ..
I love this person. There is no need to dissemble, what he did to me caused resentment and anger in me. But I'm dealing with it. I am haunted by the thought ... if a person does this, then there is no talk of true love. If you're needed, they won't just let you go, right?
It's a shame, of course, that after such a demonstrative act, this happened. How many people cross Russia along and reproach to express their feelings? I don't think..
There are some more facts. Perhaps they will play a role in understanding the situation as a whole. He is a wonderful person, but his problem is that he never had to take responsibility. Everything that he has (an apartment, a car, a workplace) is from his parents, even from his mother. But despite this, he is very hardworking. He does not like alcohol, the “riotous lifestyle” does not attract him at all.
So what's the point after all? ... Why is it so easy for him to refuse me?
Ruslan had a turbulent past. Before his first daughter was born, he managed to try on several roles - a street hooligan, a local DJ, a Moscow artist and even a concert manager. Once in Moscow, Zhanna Friske helped him with housing.
Life constantly rearranged everything from place to place. After a while, Ruslan ended up in Minsk. He used to ship CD boxes from China, a business that later became unprofitable as well. Somehow, the performer of the Black Boomer came to the city, offered to leave with him for Ukraine, Ruslan Seryoga refused. A successful meeting with a lawyer who offered Ruslan to become the manager of the J: Mors group, the man agreed.
In 2008, Ruslan's first child was born, their daughter was named Polina. At the age of 10 months, the baby was already willingly telling her parents Chukovsky's poems about "bears rode a bicycle." Ruslan's wife worked in logistics, the family bought an apartment. The man admits that life has markedly changed him.
I started neglecting some people. Every December one could feel like a celestial. A person calls: “Hello, I have a corporate party, how much does it cost J: Morse?” - "$5000". - "Can I have a discount?" But you already have three orders for that date. And the fourth you do not even listen, hang up. He calls back: “Why are you hanging up?” “I have nothing to talk about with you.”
A year before Sonya was born, Ruslan started having problems, he was framed at work.
Newborns are usually a little ugly. And Sonya was born chiseled, like a doll. With the correct proportions, as if in adults. We thought: the wife is beautiful - which means that the child must comply. She had an incompletely closed heart valve. But they thought that it would close when the girl grew up.
The girl had a congenital cleft palate, and this greatly worried her parents. Sonya began to get sick, during the year of her life she suffered two pneumonia. The geneticist, who understood rare diseases, just happened to be there at the right time. It became known that Sonya had Cornelia de Lange syndrome.
There is very little information. She is already 5 years old, and no new information is added due to her illness. The whole biological process is slowed down. She is 5 years old, and she looks like a year and a half.
Sonya could not eat ordinary food, the disease affected the intestines.
For the first three years, we did not know that Sonya had a food problem. The intestines did not take useful substances. The daughter's brain was partly deformed, because she did not receive the necessary vitamins and minerals. Plus, the medications have a terrible effect on her. Roll it back, to put it simply. It's like having a baby every two or three months.
The first year after the birth of Sonya was not the most difficult, Ruslan did not quit his job. But over time, the savings became smaller and smaller. According to various advice, parents purchased medicines, alternative methods of treatment, rare drugs. About 40 thousand dollars were spent on all these measures.
And if you take into account the many projects that had to be abandoned, then twice as many.
The doctor began a serious conversation.
- "Are you going to leave or stay?" - "I remain." - "You, in principle, have two choices: to hand it over ..." - "And the second one?" - “The second ... The child is weak, you can just leave the window open ... The third inflammation - you yourself understand, it will not survive ... Do you realize that your life will end if you leave the child? The allowance is cheap. And you have a beautiful young wife. You will cross out her life too.
Ruslan did not understand what to do.
You know, it was cynical. In fact, I was offered to kill my child. Worked very subtly. Under any other circumstances, I would have struck. And then he took the information quite calmly. We actually had a plan for three or four children. But, as they say, if you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. The doctor said, they say, our next children will be healthy. But we didn’t even think about giving up Sonya, ”the man said.
According to statistics, 90% of children with this syndrome do not live up to 3 years.
From time to time, from severe pain, Sonya twisted, as if she left the body, the pupils narrowed, her eyes became cloudy. Then she returned to herself and arched again, directly screaming in pain. In most cases, couples break up. It's good that we have a complete family. There is a rehabilitation center on Gai. That's where I looked at everything. When single mothers pull on themselves 14-year-old detsepeshnikov boys, it’s tough, ”the father shared.
In the fall of 2017, Ruslan went to shoot a video, he got a call: the child had an allergic shock. The ambulance arrived on time and was pumped out.
After that, I decided that everything. Before that, I had already frustrated ahead of time from the Eurovision Song Contest in Austria. Now the maximum where I go is at McDonald's, a hundred meters from home. Touring life, "J: Morse", Seryoga - it's all over. Sonia sleeps at night. Nothing can happen to her. That's when I work remotely. I go to bed at one or two in the morning, wake up at six or seven in the morning.
A random Facebook post about enteral nutrition came to the rescue of parents.
Enteral nutrition is a powder that you infuse with water. A can of standard food costs 30 rubles. 3 cans for two days. 20-25 cans per month. 600-700 rubles per month. The allowance, in principle, closes these expenses. But next-generation nutrition costs many times more.
In Belarus there is food of the first group, and the second is profitable to buy in Poland. One bank in Minsk costs 4,000 rubles.
In the Polish store of the bank costs $ 45-50. But the most surprising thing is that they are traded by hand for $ 15-20 apiece. In Poland, if there are such problems, you don't have to go through 800 commissions. A pediatrician's statement allows you to buy a jar for € 1. People buy for themselves, and if there is something left, they sell it at a good price to other people in need.
The saddest chapter of a family's life is medical boards.
Often this is humiliation. There are many holes in the legislation in this regard. That's why I don't want to ask. Better earn.
Giving up your ambitions is the hardest thing. It's just fuckin' hard. Fortunately, the process was not abrupt. At some point, you just stop hanging out and going somewhere. Not because you don't want to. You just can't.
At first, Ruslan tried to hide Sonya's illness, the man just didn't want people to feel sorry for him and pretend to understand.
I don't need all this pity. Moreover, she is often pompous. People want to play it to their advantage. Like, out of pity, they offer you a job, and then, out of pity, they try to pay you five times less. Well, we've done you a favor - and you're already in trouble ... It's not normal when people want to whitewash their karma at the expense of pity for their grief. Thank God that now I have adequate and sane employers. You know, the country does not have a culture of communication with people who find themselves in our situation, - says Ruslan.
Ruslan's wife Elena lost many people who were once close, they do not know how to communicate with her, they simply cut off all ties.
Here she showed real courage ... Sonya now eats normally. But there are brain disorders. Recently, the eldest brought the virus. I had to use antiviral medicines. Another new baby. And we have groundhog day again. We teach Sonya everything practically from scratch. It's hard. Everything else is tolerable ... This is my life. It's easier for me. I know what to expect from people. I have no illusions, because sometimes I myself passed by other people's problems.
