Loneliness can inspire writing poetry, music, and paintings. But, although the material can be good, research shows that loneliness is extremely detrimental to health. Science has linked this psychological condition to high blood pressure, metabolic failure, and the risk of developing heart disease and diabetes. Not to mention how loneliness leads to depression.

Also, studies by the American Association of Retirees showed that 35% of those over 45 were single.

Below are 10 strategies for dealing with this sad condition.

1. Understand what loneliness is

"There's a difference between solitude and loneliness," says Sanam Hafiz, a licensed clinical psychologist in New York and a college professor at Columbia University. "Both terms essentially mean that a person is alone; however, they are talking about different ways of thinking," she continues. It is very typical to think that in order to feel good and worthy, you need external confirmation of this and other people around. Solitude is rooted in choice and the world. And when someone enjoys solitude, he / she begins to value connection above all with themselves. They may enjoy spending time with someone else, but they don't need to."

2. Start small

When you feel isolated, it can be difficult to rebuild social connections. You need to solve this problem gradually, in small steps.

Understand that you are not alone in the literal sense of the word - go to a large supermarket, take a walk in the park, sign up for courses, let other people surround you. It is important to keep moving forward and take steps of social interaction in any form.

3. Get to know people in person

Social media increases the feeling of loneliness when all interaction with people is reduced to viewing their profiles and photos on Instagram. While services like VKontakte and Odnoklassniki offer real connections, they also overemphasize the success of others.

Close apps, put away your smartphone and laptop, and spend time with people you know in real life. There is no alternative to personal interaction, there are only auxiliary means.

4. Smile and say nice things

A smile and a compliment given to everyone you meet during the day lifts the spirits of you and those around you. In addition, it initiates and strengthens ties.

Simple rules of interaction: smile, compliment and ask something. The fourth step could be an invitation somewhere.

5. Walk More Often

Walking is not just a way from point A to point B. Walk: notice the world around you, stop to look at beautiful things or listen to street music. Say "hello" to the person you like, wish you a good day - and you will be surprised how many positive connections will be made if you use this method.

6. Talk to strangers

It sounds awkward, and Bulgakov advised against it, but by starting to greet people in the elevator, you get to know your neighbors, and a little conversation with the seller in the store near your house provides a way out of the routine and comfort zone.

Writer Keogh Stark argues that even brief interactions with strangers increase our sense of well-being.

7. Call

Phone calls and video chats give you the feeling of being with people who are currently away from you. Schedule calls the way you would schedule a meeting: chat with a friend for half an hour, an hour; do it regularly, strengthening your connections and making them meaningful.

8. Sign up for courses

Find like-minded people through specialized events. Are you fond of foreign languages? Ever wanted to learn how to cook like a chef? Do it.

9. Reach out to someone who is also lonely

In our loneliness, we may not notice that someone next to us is lonely too. Invite someone who seems socially isolated to you for a walk or coffee.

This is not always an easy task, but by helping your "companion" in this trouble, you will help yourself.

10. Seek professional help if you need it

Go to a psychological consultation, discuss your problem with a psychotherapist, dial the helpline number. Our souls need healing just as a broken leg would. Do this if you feel like you can't handle it on your own.

It has become a kind of stamp to add to the word "old people", another - "lonely".

First of all, a person living alone and a lonely person are not the same thing. On the contrary, a person living in a large family or in a crowded hostel can be lonely, suffering from loneliness.

Secondly, introverts love silence and solitude, feel the need to “recharge” in solitude after they had to visit people, they are annoyed by too sociable people (extroverts).

Consequently, not all single-living people suffer from loneliness: a certain type of people cherishes and cherishes their loneliness.

Loneliness is one of the psychogenic factors that affect the emotional state of a person who is isolated from other people. In old age, the reality of aging brings with it many causes of loneliness. Old friends die, and although they can be replaced by new acquaintances, the thought that you continue to exist is not comfort enough. Adult children separate from their parents, sometimes only physically, but more often out of an emotional need to be themselves and have the time and opportunity to deal with their own problems and relationships. With old age comes fear and loneliness, caused by poor health and fear of death.

In order to best adapt to the environment, a person must have both someone to whom he is personally attached, and a wide network of friends. A deficiency in each of these different types of relationships can lead to either emotional or social loneliness.

Sociologists J. Young and Beck (1978) distinguished three types of loneliness.

1. Chronic loneliness develops when, for a long period of time, an individual cannot establish satisfying social connections. Chronic loneliness is experienced by people who "have not been satisfied with their relationship for two or more years in a row."
2. Situational loneliness often occurs as a result of significant stressful life events, such as the death of a spouse or the breakup of a marital relationship. The situationally lonely person, after a short period of distress, usually comes to terms with their loss and overcomes loneliness.
3. Transient loneliness is the most common form of this condition, referring to brief and occasional bouts of feelings of loneliness.

Young and his colleagues believed that people with chronic loneliness tend to have fewer close and intimate relationships than those with situational loneliness. They believed that chronic loneliness was associated with long-term cognitive and behavioral deficits in relationships with other people, and not with a temporary response to a new environment.

All researchers agree that loneliness in the most general approximation is associated with a person's experience of his isolation from the society of people, family, historical reality, and a harmonious natural universe. But that doesn't mean that older people who live alone all experience loneliness. It is possible to be lonely in a crowd and with family, although loneliness among old people may be due to a decrease in the number of social contacts with friends and children.

Research conducted by Perlman and his colleagues found much more evidence of loneliness among old single people who lived with relatives than among other old people who lived alone. It turned out that social contacts with friends or neighbors have a greater impact on well-being than contacts with relatives. Contact with friends and neighbors reduced their sense of loneliness and increased their sense of self-worth and respect for others.

The level and causes of loneliness in the understanding of older people depend on age groups. People aged 80 and over understand the meaning of the term "loneliness" differently than other age groups. For the elderly, loneliness is associated with reduced activity due to disability or mobility rather than lack of social contact.

Old age in real life is often such a period when help and support is needed in order to survive. This is the main dilemma. Self-esteem, independence, and help that interferes with the realization of these feelings come to a tragic contradiction.

Perhaps, in the end, you will have to give up your independence, independence, because the extension of life is a sufficient reward for such a refusal.

There is another aspect of loneliness that men fall victim to more often than women. This is loneliness, which comes as a result of a warehouse of intellectual activity, along with a decrease in physical activity. Not only do women live longer than men, but they are generally less susceptible to the effects of aging. Older women, as a rule, manage to go headlong into the household more easily than men. Most older women are able to plunge into the minutiae of the household more often than most older men. With retirement, the number of cases for men decreases, but the number of cases for his wife increases markedly. While a retired man loses his role as a "provider" of means of subsistence, a woman never partes with her role as a housewife. With the retirement of her husband, a woman reduces her household expenses, her health deteriorates and her vitality decreases. The burden of care that falls on the shoulders of older women increases with the traditional age differentiation between spouses. In addition to taking care of their health, many older women take on the health of their husbands, and even more so as they age. The woman returns "back to the role of mother", now in relation to her husband. Now, it is her responsibility to make sure that he visits the doctor on time, monitor his diet, treatment and adjust his activities. Therefore, marriage is more beneficial for old men than for women.

Thus, women are less prone to loneliness, as they have, on average, more social roles than men.
Studies have shown that widowed men are more lonely than married men, and there is no significant difference in loneliness among married and widowed women. Men and women who are married are less likely to experience loneliness than those who live alone, but again, men were more affected than women. Single men belonged to the group most affected by loneliness; men who were in the barge were among the least susceptible to feelings of loneliness, women who were married, as well as living alone, occupied an intermediate position between the first two groups. Such data are partly explained by the difference in the organization of free time in older men and women. The results showed that two-thirds of single men are engaged in activities related to solitude, while over two-thirds of single women devote their free time to various kinds of social activities. Sociologists' studies have shown that the majority of older people (56%) live with their children, and 45% of such families have grandchildren, 59% of pensioners have a spouse. Singles make up 13%. If among the surveyed pensioners the feeling of loneliness is noted as a real fact by 23%, then for the lonely this figure is 38%.

According to psychologists, there is a way to mitigate loneliness - this is communication with animals. This is how Robinson Crusoe escaped absolute loneliness.

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania claim that pet owners "humanize" their pets. According to scientists, this has a positive effect on a person's self-esteem and, ultimately, on his health. There is evidence that such communication reduces the risk of heart attacks. According to the study, 94% talk to animals “like a person”, and 81% are convinced that their pets understand and feel the mood of their owners.

Psychiatrist M. McCulloch, who was the first to study the influence of animals on the human psyche, after conducting a survey, came to the conclusion that pets make a person calmer and more balanced, and for some people who have suffered serious mental upheavals, such “four-legged healers” simply need to be prescribed as a medicine .

When assisting the lonely, it is necessary to take into account the variety of factors that lead to loneliness. Friendships, social environments and individual activities provide an alternative to medical intervention to help the lonely. Helping lonely people sometimes should be about changing the situation, not the person.

In solving the problem of loneliness, the systems of social rehabilitation and social assistance to the elderly are of great importance. Social rehabilitation as a way to restore body functions is a complex of socio-economic, medical, legal, professional and other measures aimed at providing the necessary conditions and returning this population group to a decent life in society.

In Russia as a whole, about one and a half million older citizens need constant outside help. According to sample surveys, single citizens and single married couples, in which both are elderly and may need social services, make up to 69%. A study of the needs of surveyed disabled citizens in various types of assistance indicates that more than 78% of them need medical and social assistance, about 80% - in social services.

To preserve normal, full-blooded human communication, not to succumb to loneliness means to push back old age. Aging, like loneliness, cannot be ruled out. Old age itself is loneliness. At the same time, aging, like loneliness, is a manifestation of feelings experienced by a person. It depends on the elderly person how much this feeling captures him, how much he submits to them, how much they become stronger than all other human feelings.

Self-esteem requires self-service even in old age, to manage everything yourself and thus defend your independence. Independence and loneliness are not compatible. An independent, independent person does not seek, as long as he has at least some strength, no one's support and help, he tries to be useful and necessary to someone.

Love is the strongest of all feelings. Love for a spouse, children, grandchildren, other close people, relatives by blood or spirit pushes back aging, relieves loneliness, gives mental and physical strength.
And even in the very feeling of aging there is not only bitterness, but also charm. This feeling is given to experience only to those who, despite all the trials of life, have lived to old age. It is very important for an older person to maintain a high level of self-esteem of their personality. Self-respect is the key to public respect.

Thus, loneliness is a very important phenomenon characteristic of a person that requires careful study. Tendencies towards a progressive increase in loneliness in the elderly and senile age now and in the future exacerbate this problem, make it important to study it in depth by not only doctors, but also sociologists, demographers, economists, and psychologists.

American scientists have published the results of two independent scientific projects aimed at studying the impact of loneliness on life expectancy and its quality. In the first of them, experts summarized the medical histories of about 45,000 cardio patients aged 45 and over. Patients who were single during the observation period, which covered a four-year period, were much more likely to die from a heart attack, stroke, or other cardiovascular complications than those who were married. Middle-aged people are at the highest risk. In this group, living in isolation increases the risk of premature death from a heart attack by 24%. Subsequently - between 66 and 80 years - the risk is halved. After 80 years, loneliness no longer has any pronounced negative impact.

According to Deepak Bhatt, M.D., research project leader, MD and cardiologist at Brigham and Women's Hospital, in Boston, "loneliness is a wake-up call that hints at the worst-case scenarios for a patient's heart disease." .

So why is loneliness dangerous? Scientists believe that for middle-aged people, marriage is the norm, and therefore deviation from it is often caused by serious problems of a social or psychological nature. For example, lonely people may have difficulty socializing, generally in poor health, depressed, or under the influence of work-related stress. All of these conditions are naturally associated with the development of cardiovascular disease.

Loneliness can affect health in a more trivial way. People who do not have spouses or children to worry about them are much more likely to miss their medications, ignore the first signs of heart problems. According to statistics, men with pain due to go to clinics much faster if they are married or live in a civil marriage.

Another research team looked at how the experience of being alone affects health. The researchers who conducted this study specifically noted that when they spoke of loneliness, they did not mean the type of residence. According to their data, approximately 43% of people who consider themselves lonely, in fact, do not live alone.

So, after following people over 60 for six years, scientists found that men and women die 45% more often if they realize they are lonely, abandoned or unwanted. In addition, such people are 59% more likely to experience difficulties with everyday life, such as dressing or bathing. These “simple” actions are extremely significant for the health of the elderly.

A number of experts consider prolonged loneliness as a form of stress, which, in turn, is associated with the development of cardiovascular pathologies. Carla Perissinotto (M.D.), MD and leader of the second study, says: “Feelings of loneliness can act as a catalyst for disease. From a social point of view, people who feel lonely are less likely to seek medical or social help, treat themselves with less anxiety and attention.

Loneliness as a social problem

Loneliness is a socio-psychological state characterized by narrowness or lack of social contacts, behavioral alienation and emotional disengagement of the individual; also a social disease, which consists in the mass presence of individuals experiencing such conditions.

Loneliness is one of the main social problems that are the subject of social work, and social work is one of the most important tools for eliminating or at least alleviating this social disease. Among the means of combating loneliness are socio-psychological ones: personal diagnostics and identification of individuals with an increased risk of loneliness, communicative training to develop communication skills, psychotherapy and psychocorrection to eliminate the painful effects of loneliness, etc.; organizational: the creation of clubs and communication groups, the formation of new social ties among clients and the promotion of new interests to replace those lost, for example, as a result of divorce or widowhood, etc.; socio-medical: education of self-preserving behavior skills and teaching the basics of a healthy lifestyle. When helping lonely people, a social worker should have a good idea of ​​the completeness of the problem and the multifactorial nature of its possible solution.

Loneliness is scientifically one of the least developed social concepts. In selective studies, the following types were identified among the lonely. The first type is "hopelessly lonely", completely dissatisfied with their relationship. These people did not have a sexual partner or spouse. They rarely connected with anyone (for example, with neighbors). They have a strong sense of dissatisfaction with their relationships with peers, emptiness, abandonment. More than others, they tend to blame other people for their loneliness. This group includes the majority of divorced men and women.

The second type is "periodically and temporarily lonely." They are sufficiently connected with their friends, acquaintances, although they lack close affection or are not married. They are more likely than others to enter into social contacts in various places. Compared to other singles, they are the most socially active. These people consider their loneliness to be transient, they feel abandoned much less often than other lonely people. Most of them are men and women who have never been married.

The third type is "passive and persistently lonely". Despite the fact that they lack an intimate partner and lack other connections, they do not express such dissatisfaction about this as the respondents belonging to the first and second types. These are people who have come to terms with their situation, accepting it as inevitable. Most of them are widowed people.

Increased marriage and family dynamics (first of all, the nuclearization of families and an increase in the level of divorce), the depersonalization of large cities, the strengthening of the principles of individualism - all these are factors that primarily affect the increase in loneliness. In addition, socio-medical factors that are positively correlated with the increase in loneliness are the increase in psychiatric diseases (schizophrenia) and borderline conditions and the spread of autism, i.e. painful inability to communicate as a result of defects in obstetrics (“rough hands of a doctor”) and education.

The growth in the number of single people, the assertion of loneliness as an acceptable lifestyle, causes the formation of a specific service industry for this category of the population. It has been established that single people have the ability and desire to spend more money on their hobbies, on tourism and recreation, they more often purchase expensive goods, primarily for sports and tourism purposes. Abroad, special residential complexes are being built for the familyless; any of their needs can be satisfied in the service market. Of course, this applies only to those people for whom loneliness is a conscious and comfortable choice, and who does not feel the need for family ties.

The specifics of Russian loneliness are predominantly different. First of all, this is the result of the high mortality rate of the male population (Russian women live much longer than men) and mortality from unnatural causes (it is estimated that approximately one in three mothers has the opportunity to outlive their children). In addition, the general social and family disorganization, the lack of developed technologies for helping lonely people or those at risk of remaining lonely, turn loneliness in its Russian version into a rather malignant social disease.

The concept of loneliness is associated with the experience of situations that are subjectively perceived as undesirable, personally unacceptable for a person, lack of communication and positive intimate relationships with other people. Loneliness is not always accompanied by the social isolation of the individual. You can constantly be among people, contact them and at the same time feel your psychological isolation from them, i.e. loneliness (if, for example, these are strangers or people alien to the individual).

The degree of loneliness experienced is also unrelated to the number of years a person has spent without human contact; people who live alone all their lives sometimes feel less lonely than those who often have to communicate with others. Lonely cannot be called a person who, interacting little with others, does not show either psychological or behavioral reactions of loneliness. In addition, people may not realize that there are discrepancies between real and desirable relationships with others.

Genuine subjective states of loneliness usually accompany symptoms of mental disorders, which take the form of affects with a clearly negative emotional coloring, and different people have different affective reactions to loneliness. Some lonely people complain, for example, of feeling sad and depressed, others say that they feel fear and anxiety, and others report bitterness and anger.

The experience of loneliness is influenced not so much by real relationships, but by the ideal idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhat they should be. A person who has a strong need for communication will feel lonely if his contacts are limited to one or two people, and he would like to communicate with many; at the same time, someone who does not feel such a need may not feel his loneliness at all, even in the absence of communication with other people.

Loneliness is accompanied by some typical symptoms. Usually, lonely people feel psychologically isolated from other people, incapable of normal interpersonal communication, of establishing intimate interpersonal relationships with others such as friendship or love. A lonely person is a depressive or depressed person who experiences, among other things, a lack of communication skills.

A lonely person feels different from everyone else, and considers himself an unattractive person. He claims that no one loves or respects him. Such features of a lonely person's attitude towards himself are often accompanied by specific negative affects, including feelings of anger, sadness, and deep unhappiness. A lonely person avoids social contacts, he isolates himself from other people. He, more than other people, is characterized by the so-called paranormality, impulsiveness, excessive irritability, fear, anxiety, a feeling of weakness and frustration.

Lonely people are more pessimistic than non-lonely people, they experience an exaggerated sense of self-pity, they expect only trouble from other people, and only the worst from the future. They also see their own lives and the lives of others as meaningless. Lonely people are not talkative, behave quietly, try to be inconspicuous, most often they look sad. They often have a tired look and increased drowsiness.

When a gap is found between real and actual relationships, which is characteristic of the state of loneliness, then different people react to this in different ways. Helplessness as one of the possible reactions to this situation is accompanied by an increase in anxiety. If people blame their loneliness not on themselves, but on others, they may experience feelings of anger and bitterness, which stimulates the emergence of an attitude of enmity. If people are convinced that they are responsible for their own loneliness, and do not believe that they can change themselves, then they are likely to be saddened and condemn themselves. Over time, this condition can develop into chronic depression. If, finally, a person is convinced that loneliness challenges him, then he will actively fight against it, make efforts to get rid of loneliness.

The list of typical emotional states, which from time to time cover a chronically lonely person, is impressive. These are despair, longing, impatience, feeling unattractive, helplessness, panic fear, depression, inner emptiness, boredom, desire to change places, a feeling of underdevelopment, loss of hope, isolation, self-pity, stiffness, irritability, insecurity, abandonment, melancholy, alienation (the list was obtained by factorial analysis of the responses of many lonely people to a special questionnaire).

Lonely people tend to dislike others, especially those who are outgoing and happy. This is their defensive reaction, which in turn prevents them from establishing good relations with people themselves. It is suggested that it is loneliness that forces some people to abuse alcohol or drugs, even if they themselves do not recognize themselves as lonely. A lonely person is characterized by an exceptional focus on himself, on his personal problems and inner experiences. He is characterized by increased anxiety and fear of the catastrophic consequences of an unfavorable set of circumstances in the future.

Having inadequate self-esteem, lonely people either neglect how others perceive and evaluate them, or by all means try to please them. Single people are particularly concerned about problems related to personal sociability, including dating, introducing others, complicity in various affairs, looseness and openness in communication. Lonely people are more likely to see themselves as less competent than non-lonely people and tend to attribute their failures in establishing interpersonal contacts to a lack of ability. Many tasks associated with establishing intimate relationships cause them increased anxiety and reduce interpersonal activity. Lonely people are less creative in finding ways to solve problems that arise in situations of interpersonal communication. It has been established that loneliness depends on how a person treats himself, i.e. from his self-esteem. For many people, the feeling of loneliness is associated with a clearly low self-esteem. The feeling of loneliness generated by it often leads to a feeling of unfitness and worthlessness in a person.

The emotional states of a lonely person are despair (panic, vulnerability, helplessness, isolation, self-pity), boredom (impatience, desire to change everything, stiffness, irritability), self-abasement (feeling of one's own unattractiveness, stupidity, worthlessness, shyness). A lonely person seems to say: "I am helpless and unhappy, love me, caress me." Against the background of a strong desire for such communication, the phenomenon of “mental moratorium” (E. Erickson’s term) arises:

Return to the childish level of behavior and the desire to delay the acquisition of adult status as long as possible;

A vague but persistent state of anxiety;

Feelings of isolation and emptiness;

Constantly being in a state of something such that something will happen, affect emotionally and life will change dramatically;

Fear of intimate communication and inability to emotionally affect persons of the opposite sex;

Hostility and contempt for all recognized social roles, down to male and female roles;

Contempt for everything national and an unrealistic overestimation of everything foreign (well, where we are not).

Better "active privacy". Start writing something, do something you love, go to the cinema or theater, read, play music, exercise, listen to music and dance, sit down to study or start doing some work, go to the store and spend the money you saved.

We must not run away from loneliness, but think about what can be done to overcome our loneliness. Remind yourself that you actually have good relationships with other people. Think about what you have good qualities (heartfelt, deep feelings, responsiveness, etc.).

Tell yourself that loneliness is not forever and that things will get better. Think about the activities in which you have always excelled in life (sports, studies, housework, art, etc.). Tell yourself that most people are lonely at one time or another. Take your mind off feelings of loneliness by thinking seriously about something else. Think about the possible benefits of the loneliness you have experienced.

Personality is a stable system of worldview, psychological and behavioral features that characterize a person.

Man is a being embodying the highest stage of development of life, the subject of socio-historical activity.

An individual is a representative of society, a fundamentally indecomposable element of the existence of society.

The social structure of a person is a combination of individual psychological and social psychological qualities of a person, manifested through the attitude of an employee to surrounding phenomena and events.

The theory of roles - the theory of symbol, interactionism (J. Mead, G. Bloomer, E. Hoffman, M. Kuhn, etc.) considers a person from the point of view of her social roles.

Social position - the place, position of an individual or group in the system of relations in society, determined by a number of specific features and regulating the style of behavior.

Social status - the relative position of an individual or a social group in a social system, determined by a number of features characteristic of this system.

Social freedom is the ability of a person to act in accordance with his interests and goals, based on the knowledge of objective necessity.

Personality types - an abstract model of personal characteristics inherent in a certain population of people.

Dispositions of personality - numerous personality traits (from 18 to 5 thousand), forming a complex of predispositions to a certain reaction of the subject to the external environment.

The value orientations of a person are a reflection in the mind of a person of values ​​that he recognizes as strategic.

Self-realization is the identification and development of personal abilities by an individual in all spheres of activity.

Mentality - a set of ethno-cultural, social skills and spiritual attitudes, stereotypes.

Motivation - active states of the psyche that encourage a person to perform certain types of actions.

Social attitude - a predisposition fixed in the social experience of an individual (group) to perceive and evaluate socially significant objects, as well as the readiness of an individual (group) for certain actions.

Socialization is the process and result of the assimilation and active reproduction of social experience by an individual, carried out in communication and activity.

Internalization is the formation of the structures of the human psyche due to the assimilation of the structures of external social activity.

Conformity - the tendency of an individual to learn norms, habits and values, to change their initial assessments under the influence of the opinions of others.

Anomia - a psychological state: - characterized by a feeling of loss of orientation in life; - arising when an individual is faced with the need to comply with conflicting norms.

Social satisfaction is a set of perceptions and assessments of the conditions of one's social life, the quality of life, generalized in the mind of an individual.

Interpersonal relationships are a system of attitudes, expectations, stereotypes, orientations through which people perceive and evaluate each other.

The leader is a member of the group, for whom she recognizes the right to make responsible decisions in situations that are significant for her, i.e. the most authoritative person.

Deviant behavior is a form of manifestation of the attitudes of individuals and social groups to the norms and values ​​of the social system in which they operate.

Social control is a mechanism of self-regulation of a system that ensures the orderly interaction of its constituent elements through normative regulation.

Social well-being is a phenomenon of social consciousness, the prevailing state of feelings and minds of certain social groups in a certain period of time.

Social sanctions are measures of the influence of a social group on the behavior of an individual, deviating in a positive or negative sense from social expectations, norms and values.

Logic task

1. Do you agree with G. Tarde, who believed that “the so-called“ social pressure ”only contributes to self-determination and a more vivid expression of each individual personality. Without this support, which provides him with a certain resistance, the individual could not move in the social environment, like how a bird could not fly without the help of the air resisting its wings "(New ideas in sociology. Sat. N2 // Sociology and psychology. St. Petersburg, 1914. P. 80).

Overcoming the barrier of social pressure becomes possible with the expansion of the degree of internal freedom of the individual. In this case, a freer person gets advantages over less free people, whose behavior is predictable and determined by social norms. If such a person expands the number of his social contacts, then he begins to be pushed up like a cork from the water column. The reason is that in every interpersonal contact the freer person influences the less free one. The more cases this happens, and if the contacts are caused by some socially significant issues, the greater and stronger the influence of this person on society as a whole. In this way, the personal power of the individual is extended to more and more members of society, which is social success.

2. "The more primitive the society, the more similarities between the individuals that make them up" (Durkheim E. Method of Sociology. M., 1990. P. 129). How do you understand this statement?

In primitive societies based on mechanical solidarity, the individual does not belong to himself and is absorbed by the collective. On the contrary, in a developed society based on organic solidarity, both complement each other. The more primitive the society, the more similar people are to each other, the higher the level of coercion and violence, the lower the level of division of labor and the diversity of individuals. The greater the diversity in society, the higher the tolerance of people towards each other, the wider the basis of democracy. In primitive societies based on mechanical solidarity, the individual consciousness follows and obeys the collective consciousness in everything. The individual here does not belong to himself, he is absorbed by the collective.

3. Do you agree with the statement that the beginning of individuality is more developed in a woman, and personality in a man? Justify your answer.

I agree. Individuality is a manifestation in the physical space of the essence of a woman - her soul, therefore, the true charm and beauty of a woman is contained in individuality. For most men, getting out of a state of selfishness takes a very long time.

4. Confirm or refute this judgment: "Modern sciences proceed from the fact that each individual person personifies the whole of humanity. He is unique with his individual characteristics, at the same time he is repeatable, because he contains all the incriminating features of the human race."

A true man is a man of the world, he contains within himself the whole of humanity. However, being in a damaged state, driven by egoism, which contains alienation from other personalities, people protect themselves in their isolation and are not even able to see the unity of the human race, they cannot accept and contain all of humanity. The unity of humanity is not an empty concept, it has a real basis in human personalities. How a person lives determines whether he unites or divides the whole of humanity.

5. The following is a judgment. Read it carefully: “Resocialization is the assimilation of new values, roles, skills instead of the old, insufficiently mastered or outdated ones. It includes a lot: from classes to improve reading skills to vocational training for workers. Psychotherapy is also one of the forms of resocialization: people try to find a way out from conflict situations, change their behavior "(Spasibenko S.G. Generations as subjects of public life // Socio-political journal. 1995. N 3. P. 122). What do you think, is it correct or not? What is called resocialization and what types of human activity are related to it? Justify your answer.

Resocialization (lat. re (repeated, renewed action) + lat. socialis (public), English resocialization, German Resozialisierung) is a repeated socialization that occurs throughout the life of an individual. Resocialization is carried out by changing the individual's attitudes, goals, norms and values ​​of life.

Resocialization can be just as deep. For example, a Russian who emigrated to America finds himself in a completely new, but no less versatile and rich culture. Weaning from old traditions, norms, values ​​and roles is compensated by new life experiences. Leaving for a monastery involves no less radical changes in lifestyle, but spiritual impoverishment does not occur in this case either.

7. Prove or refute this statement: Personality is the result of a correctly flowing process of socialization. Socialization is a lifelong process of assimilation of social norms and assimilation of cultural norms.

Personal development can be seen as the progressive transformation of a given organism as it copes with new situations. Also, when considering a person's personality, they also mean such properties that can be described in social or socio-psychological terms, where the psychological is taken in its social conditionality and fullness. Socialization is more than formal education as it involves the acquisition of attitudes, values, behaviours, habits, skills transmitted not only by the school but also by the family, peer group, media.

Issue for discussion

There are different opinions about the identity of the "gray" student. Some say it's a bum, a dumbass. Others are a person who does not know much. And still others believe that this is the one who does not want to learn on his own, interferes with others and still boasts of his ignorance (for more details, see: Lisovsky V.T. Soviet students: Sociological essays. M., 1990. P. 295). So who is he - "gray student"?

If there are 60-100 people in the lecture hall, of which at best half are ready to study, then, firstly, this greatly complicates the task of the lecturer, and secondly, the other half definitely interferes with those who want to study. And the fact that they won’t do anything bad for the country - let me disagree: they went to the university because they have to, and they go to the company because they suit them. Of course, it’s more difficult with work, they’ll be expelled rather than expelled from the institute, but still I often saw people who don’t want to work at all and don’t know how, but for some reason they are kept (the reasons are always different, but there is always a paradox!) . So they still do harm.

Problem tasks

3. American sociologists have identified a connection between socialization methods and people's willingness to accept society's values. For example, depending on how young men and women see their parents - overseers or assistants - they either rebel against the existing system of power, or easily merge into it. Those who receive little support but a lot of discipline (especially from fathers) often become non-conformists in matters of religion, and many of them rebel, opposing their own values ​​to the values ​​of society (see: Smelser N. Sociology // Sociological Studies. 1991. No. 6. P. 131).

Is it right to regard such a result of socialization as a failure and a threat to society?

Socialization with iron necessity implies adaptation. Traditional education also sets a person up to adapt to changing conditions, at least by setting them to teach to learn. Almost any traditional value system includes, to one degree or another, tolerance for other people's beliefs and lifestyles. This is vital for survival, especially in a world that is sharply decreasing due to the demographic situation. The traditional system of values ​​also includes the recognition (at least ideally) of the legal equality of members of certain social groups, and this recognition is gradually expanding in the course of history to the idea of ​​the legal equality of all members of society. Thus, the ideal conformist is a degenerate case. In its purest form - of course, but we are talking about installations and consider ideal cases. Yes, at least one value, namely the value of guaranteeing the freedom of the individual, should be included as a core value in the system of changing values ​​of the conformist. Under these conditions, a lifestyle based on the dictates of fashion (on political and other beliefs, on ways of organizing a way of life, including friendships, on interests, on ways of spending time, etc.) replaces a lifestyle formed on the basis of personally acquired value orientations. There will be, as is observed in the modern world, the spread of society into separate social groups that have nothing in common with each other and oppose each other with increasing aggressiveness, while civil society as a whole is gradually losing its significance.

4. At the XII World Sociological Congress (1990), the concept of postmodernism was presented as one of the leading ideas. It is a development of the theory of the prominent German sociologist Max Weber about two types of society - traditional and modernist. In a traditional society, human behavior is regulated by traditions, according to the principle "do as they did before you." In a modernist society, behavior is governed by the principle of rationality, reasonableness and efficiency of social behavior. In a postmodern society, which, according to many Western sociologists, is being formed today, the principle of behavior is the interests of the individual, the collective, the people, the goals that they set for themselves, and the means they choose. Think about what principles govern your behavior, the behavior of the majority of members of Russian society today? What type of society - traditional, modern, postmodern, or some other - does our society belong to?

Modernization is, first of all, a process during which the economic and political possibilities of a given society increase: economic - through industrialization, political - through bureaucratization. Modernization has great appeal because it allows society to move from a state of poverty to a state of wealth.

An important component of the postmodern shift is a shift that turns away from both religious and bureaucratic power and leads to a decrease in the significance of any kind of power and authority. For obedience to power comes with high costs: the personal goals of the individual have to be subordinated to the goals of a broader subjectivity. But in conditions of uncertainty about the future, people are more than willing to do this.

The rise of postmodernism is the opposite of the authoritarian reflex: postmaterial values ​​characterize the most protected segment of an advanced industrial society. They developed in the context of historically unprecedented economic growth and the functioning of welfare states that emerged after the Second World War.

8. Each adult performs many social roles, which often leads to the emergence of intra-role, inter-role and personality-role conflicts. Analyze the accumulated experience of student life and name typical conflicts of various kinds. What are the most successful ways to resolve these conflicts?

Among university students, 4 most common conflict situations in conflict interaction can be distinguished: 1) discrimination by a student with more pronounced personal characteristics of a student with less pronounced personal characteristics; 2) the fact of personally significant ingratitude; 3) factor of subjective differentiated approach; 4) pronounced competition.

Ways to resolve these conflicts. Under the influence of the study group, in the process of socialization and a program of psychological training aimed at improving the effectiveness of communication, minimizing and resolving conflict situations, university students with a dominantly aggressive style of behavior in conflict develop empathy, students with a dominantly passive style decrease identification, and also decrease reflection among university students with a dominantly aggressive style of behavior in a conflict, as a result of which, in the educational team, there is a decrease in leveling between aggressive and passive styles of behavior in a conflict situation.

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federal education agency

ROUVPO<Воронежский институт инновационных систем>

Department of General Socio-Economic and Humanitarian Disciplines.

Abstract on the topic:

Loneliness as a social problem.

Performed

1st year student

UK1-1 group

Zabrovskaya Oksana

Checked

Ishimskaya E.V.

Voronezh 2009

Introduction………………………………………………………………..p.3

Single mothers………………………………………………………page 5

Loneliness of the elderly……………………………………..….page 10

Feeling of loneliness in adolescence….………………….page 13

Conclusion……………………………………………………………..page 17

List of used literature…………………………………….page 19

Introduction

Loneliness is a socio-psychological state characterized by narrowness or lack of social contacts, behavioral alienation and emotional non-involvement of the individual; also a social disease, which consists in the mass presence of individuals experiencing such conditions.

Loneliness from a scientific point of view is one of the least developed social concepts. In the demographic literature, there are statistical data on the absolute number and proportion of single people. So, in a number of developed countries of the world (Holland, Belgium, etc.), single people make up about 30% of the population. In the USA, according to 1986 data, there were 21.2 million single people. Compared with 1960, this figure has tripled. By 2000, according to forecasts, another 7.4 million people will “join” them.

In selective studies, the following types were identified among the lonely. The first type is “hopelessly lonely”, completely dissatisfied with their relationship. These people did not have a sexual partner or spouse. They rarely connected with anyone (for example, with neighbors). They have a strong sense of dissatisfaction with their relationships with peers, emptiness, abandonment. More than others, they tend to blame other people for their loneliness.

The second type is "periodically and temporarily lonely." They are sufficiently connected with their friends, acquaintances, although they lack close affection or are not married. They are more likely than others to enter into social contacts in various places. Compared to other singles, they are the most socially active. These people consider their loneliness to be transient, they feel abandoned much less often than other lonely people.

The third type is “passive and persistently lonely”. These are people who have come to terms with their situation, accepting it as inevitable.

At present, interest in the problem of alienation and loneliness seems quite natural. This is due to the nature of today's social situation, which is characterized by uncertainty and instability. Intensive changes in the political, economic, cultural spheres of society's life actively influence the structure of interpersonal relations and human self-awareness. The transitional period (from the traditionally Russian collectivist culture to an individualistic ideology) leads to the transformation of psycho-socio-cultural structures that determine business and interpersonal interaction, values ​​and social activity of a person, his emotional well-being.
The current social situation requires a person to attract additional resources to form adequate adaptive capabilities to a changing world. However, not every person is ready to accept the new conditions of existence. Many people experience the rupture of old meaningful connections, the inability to acquire new ones, while simultaneously experiencing a need for them. Lack and/or "shallowness" of meaningful relationships causes acute negative feelings of loneliness. A lonely person is a subject experiencing difficulties in social interaction. Loneliness is a deep emotional experience that can distort perception, the concept of time and the nature of social actions.
Understanding the nature of loneliness will make it possible to develop optimal strategies for overcoming it, adequate for the current unstable and uncertain situation.

Loneliness of the elderly

Old age is sometimes referred to as the "age of social loss". This statement is not unfounded: old age as a phase of life is characterized by age-related changes in the human body, changes in its functional capabilities and, accordingly, needs, roles in the family and society, which often does not proceed painlessly for the person himself and his social environment.

From UN forecasts it follows that in 2001 the age of every tenth inhabitant of the earth exceeded 60 years. Western European countries, the USA, Canada and Japan are intensively “aging”. At present, life expectancy reaches 67 years in Russia, 76 years in the USA, 77 years in France, 78 years in Canada, and 80 years in Japan. The average age of the population is getting higher, and the number of children, adolescents and young people is declining, which qualifies as a "demographic revolution".

By 1995, the proportion of elderly citizens in the population of Russia (men over 60 years old, women over 55 years old) reached the highest level since 1959 and amounted to 20.6%. At present, 30.2 million Russians belong to the older generation.

The problems of social protection of the elderly are becoming especially relevant in modern conditions, when the old forms and methods of social support have turned out to be unsuitable, and a new system of social protection that meets the requirements of a market economy is still being created.

Our society today is experiencing a socio-economic crisis. All the signs are evident: a decline in production and living standards, a disregard for morality and a collapse of trust in the norms of social civilization, an increase in crime and social disorganization, lies, corruption, apathy and distrust of the statements and actions of the authorities. The connection of generations will help restore the morality of society by transferring the traditions of the people, norms of behavior, universal mercy and prudence. The bearers and keepers of these values ​​are the generation of older people who, together with the country, have gone through a difficult path of development, wars, changes in leadership and priorities.

In old age, the reality of aging brings with it many causes of loneliness. Old friends die, and although they can be replaced by new acquaintances, the thought that you continue to exist is not comfort enough. Adult children withdraw from their parents, sometimes only physically, but more often out of an emotional need to be themselves and have the time and opportunity to deal with their own problems and relationships. With old age comes fear and loneliness, caused by poor health and fear of death.

In order to best adapt to the environment, a person must have both someone to whom he is personally attached, and a wide network of friends. A deficiency in each of these different types of relationships can lead to either emotional or social loneliness.

All researchers agree that loneliness in the most general approximation is associated with a person's experience of his isolation from the community of people, family, historical reality, and a harmonious natural universe. But that doesn't mean that older people who live alone all experience loneliness. It is possible to be lonely in a crowd and with family, although loneliness among old people may be due to a decrease in the number of social contacts with friends and children.

Research by Perlan and his colleagues found much more evidence of loneliness among old single people who lived with relatives than among other old people who lived alone. It turned out that social contacts with friends or neighbors have a greater impact on well-being than contacts with relatives.

Contact with friends and neighbors reduced their sense of loneliness and increased their sense of self-worth and respect for others.

The level and causes of loneliness in the understanding of older people depend on age groups. People aged 80 and over understand the meaning of the term "loneliness" differently than other age groups. For the elderly, loneliness is associated with reduced activity due to disability or mobility, rather than lack of social contact.

Old age in real life is often such a period when help and support is needed in order to survive. This is the basic dilemma. Self-esteem, independence, and help that interferes with the realization of these feelings, come to a tragic contradiction. Perhaps, in the end, you will have to give up your independence, independence, because the extension of life is a sufficient reward for such a refusal.

There is another aspect of loneliness that men fall victim to more often than women. This is loneliness, which comes as a result of a warehouse of intellectual activity, along with a decrease in physical activity. Not only do women live longer than men, but they are generally less susceptible to the effects of aging. Older women, as a rule, manage to go headlong into the household more easily than men: "the industrious bee has no time to be sad." Most older women are able to plunge into the minutiae of the household more often than most older men. With retirement, the number of cases for men decreases, but the number of cases for his wife increases markedly. While a retired man loses his role as a "provider" of means of subsistence, a woman never partes with her role as a housewife. With the retirement of her husband, a woman reduces her household expenses, her health deteriorates and her vitality decreases.

The burden of care that falls on the shoulders of older women increases with the traditional age differentiation between spouses. In addition to taking care of their health, many older women take on the health of their husbands, and even more so as they age. The woman returns "back to the role of mother", now in relation to her husband. Now, it is her responsibility to make sure that he visits the doctor on time, monitor his diet, treatment and adjust his activities. Therefore, marriage is more beneficial for old men than for women.

And so, women are less prone to loneliness, since on average they have more social roles than men.

Studies have shown that widowed men are more lonely than married men, and there is no significant difference in feelings of loneliness among married and widowed women. Married men and women are less likely to experience loneliness than people who live alone; but again, men were more affected than women. Single men belonged to the group most affected by loneliness; men in the barge were the least susceptible to feelings of loneliness, women who are married, as well as living alone, occupied an intermediate position between the first two groups. Such data are partly explained by the difference in the organization of free time in older men and women. The results showed that two-thirds of single men are engaged in activities related to privacy, while over two-thirds of single women devote their free time to various kinds of social activities.

Sociologists' studies have shown that the majority of older people (56%) live with their children, and 45% of such families have grandchildren, 59% of pensioners have a spouse. Singles make up 13%. If among the surveyed pensioners the feeling of loneliness is noted as a real fact by 23%, then for the lonely this figure is 38%.

In solving the problem of loneliness, the systems of social rehabilitation and social assistance to the elderly are of great importance. Social rehabilitation is a complex of socio-economic, medical, legal, professional and other measures aimed at providing the necessary conditions and returning this group of the population to a decent life in society.

mothers are single

The destruction of the family at the initiative of men is a very common phenomenon these days. The psychological reason for such cases is male infantilism - the loss of a sense of responsibility for the birth and upbringing of children, the loss of a sense of fatherhood as the most important component of a male character.

At the same time, the wife loses all rational orientation in her daily affairs and duties: she ceases to understand where she can count on her husband's help, and where she will have to take responsibility and hard worries on herself. As a result, the wife begins to unwittingly win the first position in the family hierarchy and be promoted to the role of an active leader, who takes care and full responsibility for the life of the family and the upbringing of children on her shoulders. Needless to say, this burden is unbearable and unnatural for a woman, therefore, a grumble about her bitter fate is always heard from her side. And the more a man behaves more frivolously and irresponsibly, the more this groan and murmur of the female soul is heard more strongly.

Thus, the loss by a man of the functions of paternity and patronage, sacrificial and active care for his wife and children, ultimately leads to the complete destruction of the order of family life conceived by the Lord. The wife acquires the function of the head of the family, which she carries out of necessity, often clumsily and hysterically, and the husband moves to the position of an adult, but unreasonable child, who also demands maternal behavior from his wife.

Violation of the spiritual hierarchy in the family and the deformation of the socio-psychological roles of men and women create an extremely unfavorable atmosphere for the development of the child's personality. The child is either relegated to the background for the mother (while the foreground is occupied by the husband, who behaves like a capricious and spoiled child), or becomes an idol, a kind of substitute for a failed marriage, on which unspent female love and affection splash out in excess. Needless to say, in both cases the authority of the father and mother is undermined. Gradually growing up, sons and daughters absorb their souls with negative images of parental behavior, psychological scenarios and stereotypes of conflict communication, and, thus, they are prepared not for creation, but for the destruction of their own family. As a rule, the actual disintegration of the family occurs against the background of extremely perverse interpersonal relationships. A protracted family conflict creates a state of complete apathy, boredom, insensitivity and cynicism in a man, a feeling of a victim driven into a corner, experiencing panic horror before the problems that have piled on her, in children a state of loss (homelessness), loneliness and uselessness.

First of all, seven cores are needed. They are needed to stop feeling like a victim of someone's evil will, to overcome the feeling of fear for yourself and your children, the tendency to get nervous and panic for any reason when you have to take on purely masculine issues. At this moment, when a woman's soul is overwhelmed with resentment, when her heart is heavy with grief, any business turns into a test of her vitality, nerves, and volitional tension. A woman constantly acts through strength, stepping over her mental and physical infirmities.

After a divorce from her husband, sometimes you have to solve many issues that did not arise before. On the one hand, these are household and financial problems. On the other hand, the establishment of a normal microclimate in the house, where traces of former strife are still present. On the third - the adoption of paternal functions in addition to purely maternal functions. On the fourth side - the implementation of spiritual leadership in the family with the acceptance of full responsibility for the future of their children.

Only thanks to remarkable patience a woman can daily carry several roles and responsibilities at once. She now has not only to perform everyday women's duties (washing, cleaning, cooking, etc.), but, in addition, sometimes she no longer works at one, but at two or three jobs, running from one organization to another. Returning home in the evening brings new troubles: you need to check the lessons of the younger children, and also find an opportunity to talk heart to heart with the older ones, delving into their experiences and problems. Control everything, cheer everyone up, direct and, if necessary, scold, then console - and at the same time remain cheerful and cheerful! A woman has to hide her fatigue, her pain, her suffering, from her children, only occasionally allowing herself to cry out her anxiety about the present and future of an incomplete family in prayer.

In addition, a woman after a divorce should also be seven spans in her forehead. We can say that she should go beyond her natural abilities, since the tendency to think and reason is more characteristic of men. Now, living in an incomplete family, a woman cannot afford a purely emotional approach to business, since children will pay for any rash decision she makes.

Such reckless decisions, for example, include the desire to re-arrange one's personal life at all costs. The persistent search for a new husband often brings a situation, already very difficult, to the brink of a psychological catastrophe: there is a new husband who is completely unprepared to show generosity and take on the upbringing of other people's children. Invading an incomplete family, the new "mother's husband" often becomes a cruel tyrant for children. As a rule, a second marriage, concluded for emotional reasons, becomes an unbearable ordeal for a woman and her children.

Feeling lonely in adolescence

The social situation of today creates an extremely unstable system, against which the teenage subculture is changing. Being one of the least adapted and socially unprotected groups, adolescents cannot but bear the imprint of general social uncertainty, insecurity, and anxiety. The result of this was the coming to the fore, among other socio-pedagogical and psychological-pedagogical problems, the problem of teenage loneliness.

Psychologists identify several groups of factors that contribute to the emergence of loneliness in adolescence.

First group . These are some of the features of this age period. Primarily, reflection development, which gives rise to the need of a teenager to know himself as a person, to understand himself at the level of his own requirements for himself. Play a role in the emergence of loneliness in adolescence and age-related crises typical of this period: crisis identity and self-esteem.

Another group of factors is the personality characteristics of a teenager: shyness, low self-esteem, excessive demands on oneself or others, unrealistic expectations and ideas about love, friendship and communication, etc.

There are also social factors that lead to loneliness: rejection of a teenager by a group of peers (social attitude), rupture of friendships or lack of social circle and close friends, which can be a consequence of both the personality characteristics of a teenager and the result of the influence of situational reasons: moving to a new place of residence and school changes.

As a new group, factors related to the family of a teenager, including the type of family upbringing, are distinguished. Disharmonious family relationships(frequent conflicts, low culture of communication, lack of respect and trust between family members, physical violence) form ideas about interpersonal relationships as unpredictable and dangerous, which are best avoided.

It should also be noted that the impact of loneliness on a teenager also depends on the duration of the experience.

There are three types of loneliness:

temporary loneliness(short-term bouts of experiencing one's own isolation and dissatisfaction with communication in interpersonal relationships)

situational loneliness(is a consequence of stressful situations, the death of a loved one, breakup of relationships, etc.)

chronic loneliness characterized by a person's lack of satisfactory communication, as a result of which he suffers from his isolation.

Chronic loneliness has the most serious consequences for adolescents, it can lead to emotional and behavioral deviations.

The teenage subculture of today includes a whole range of asocial manifestations that are regarded by teenagers as the norm. This is mentioned in the works of B.N. Almazov, L.A. Grishchenko, A.S. Belkin, V.T. Kondrashenko, A.E. Lichko. This trend indicates a change in the general outlook among adolescents, a change in the system of norms and values, and, as a result, a change in behavioral reactions. The actual result of this is the dynamics of individual feelings of a teenager in the direction of instability and negativity. One of the most acute experiences is the feeling of loneliness.

In social pedagogy, there is a description of many conditions close to loneliness, in particular, solitude (A.V. Mudrik), social alienation (O.B. Dolginova). However, these states are not considered in interrelation, as well as in dynamics. Meanwhile, the analysis of adolescent loneliness makes it possible to build a clear series of development of many similar conditions, which is the basis for predicting their socio-pedagogical consequences. A detailed analysis of many psychological, pedagogical and socio-pedagogical problems allows us to identify loneliness as a basic condition, on the basis of which conflicts, complexes, tension, violations of the communicative sphere are formed.

Social loneliness is the result of a state of insufficient social organization, adaptation, as well as a consequence of the rupture of significant social ties and relationships. Psychologists distinguish two types of social loneliness: maladaptive, or conflict, and "loss" loneliness (death of a loved one, divorce of parents, etc.).

Psychological loneliness is a complex of intrapersonal experiences associated with “otherness”, “otherness”, non-recognition, resentment, as well as a consequence of a split in the image of the Self.

Describing loneliness as a psychological state, it should be said that it is associated, first of all, with a person's awareness and experience of his isolation and distance from other people. The experience of loneliness becomes painful if a person begins to perceive his distance from others as a lack of connections with people and the world, a lack of communication, attention, love, human warmth. Teenagers who experience this loneliness feel disconnected from others, while experiencing sadness, sadness, resentment, and sometimes fear. As a rule, they are not satisfied with their communication with their peers, they believe that they have few friends or do not have a true friend, a loved one who could understand them and, if necessary, help. For a number of different reasons, such adolescents do not always actively seek out friends or seek communication, but, in dire need of it, they are involved in negative or even asocial groups. Often, on the contrary, they avoid it in every possible way, which can also lead to a dangerous dead end.

Most authors emphasize the dual nature of the experience of loneliness and its impact on a teenager: on the one hand, it enriches the inner world, allowing you to feel the uniqueness of your existence, on the other hand, it can lead to behavioral deviations, depression, or even suicide.

The desire to be in a group, to be "like everyone else" in adolescence is very great. When a young person is offered to smoke, his decision is based on various factors. One of the most important factors is the fear of being alone, since the vast majority of teenage companies are smokers. Short-term benefits are much more important than long-term ones. The decision is also influenced by the young person's previous experience in similar situations. It is good if a young person himself is aware of all the factors initiating smoking (both momentary and distant). Then he can find alternative actions and understand his own reasons for making decisions.

The feeling of loneliness in adolescence is very painful; it often leads children to take risks and sometimes to heroin. By the way, it has long been noticed that children from well-to-do, so-called prosperous families, in which a son or daughter does not need pocket money, but are deprived of the spiritual care of adults, are more easily “addicted” to the needle.

“The loneliness of teenagers is growing in the same way as the loneliness of the elderly,” says Elena Sukhoparova, a psychologist at Home Alone emergency psychological assistance. - Seven times a week, children who want to commit suicide turn to us: misunderstanding at all levels, discord in the family, domestic difficulties, unhappy love. A frequent topic is violence at school, fights after school: the child does not want to complain, but he cannot cope with the situation himself.

Own "I" in adolescence grows to enormous proportions and obscures the rest of the world. So it turns out that they are very, very lonely! Loneliness causes teens to have suicidal thoughts.”

P. Shirihev, head of the laboratory for the psychology of intergroup relations at the Institute of Psychology of the USSR Academy of Sciences, candidate of philosophical sciences, notes: “The main reason for suicide is a person’s feeling that his existence is meaningless. It has a connection with the situation in which this society is located, in particular with economic instability, ideological confusion, and reassessment of social norms of morality. As for large cities, which include Moscow, there is such a phenomenon here when a person feels terrible loneliness, having a lot of acquaintances and friends.

The study of the problem of loneliness of adolescents was devoted to the socio-psychological study "Adolescent 2001". It was attended by about 4,000 boys and girls aged 13 to 16, students of grades 8-11 of Moscow schools. The results of the analysis of young people's answers to the "Loneliness" questionnaire allow us to say that every third of them experiences a state of loneliness of varying intensity, and 2.3% of the respondents experience loneliness to a critically strong degree: acutely and constantly.

As a result of a study of more than 600 Russian teenagers, it turned out that every sixth of them is acutely experiencing loneliness. If in 1997 only 2.3% of adolescents experienced this feeling, then in 2003 it was 17%, and 2.7% of the respondents experienced it to a great extent. By the way, teenagers' ideas about loneliness change with age. At 13–14 years old, loneliness is described as a state of physical isolation, bad mood, boredom, sadness, sadness, fear; at the age of 15 - as horror, depression, resentment, chagrin; at the age of 16 - as a difficult experience, associated mainly with the absence of an understanding loved one ..

Conclusion

In Russia, according to the 1989 census, 10,126 thousand are single people, of which 6,805 thousand are women. Lonely in this case is a person who lives alone and does not maintain regular contact with relatives.

The specificity of Russian loneliness is such that it is primarily the result of a high mortality rate of the male population (Russian women live much longer than men) and mortality from unnatural causes (it is estimated that approximately one in three mothers has the opportunity to outlive their children). In addition, the general social and family disorganization, the lack of developed technologies for helping lonely people or those at risk of remaining lonely, turn loneliness in its Russian version into a rather malignant social disease.

Loneliness is one of the main social problems that are the subject of social work, and social work is one of the most important tools for eliminating or at least alleviating this social disease. Among the means of combating loneliness are socio-psychological ones: personal diagnostics and identification of individuals with an increased risk of loneliness, communicative training to develop communication skills, psychotherapy and psychocorrection to eliminate the painful effects of loneliness, etc.; organizational: the creation of clubs and communication groups, the formation of new social ties among clients and the promotion of new interests to replace those lost, for example, as a result of divorce or widowhood, etc.; socio-medical: education of self-preserving behavior skills and teaching the basics of a healthy lifestyle.

Loneliness is an obligatory and integral part of human life, it has always accompanied a person's life, and will always exist as long as people exist. There is not a single person in the world who does not know what loneliness is. No one could in the past, can not in the present and will not be able to completely avoid loneliness in the future, no matter how much he would like to.

When assisting the lonely, it is necessary to take into account the variety of factors that lead to loneliness. Friendships, social environments and individual activities provide an alternative to medical intervention to help the lonely.

Helping lonely people sometimes should be about changing the situation, not the person.

Bibliography

1. A.A. Bodalev, Psychology of communication, Selected psychological works, Moscow-Voronezh, 1996.

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