Elvira Yapryntseva
It’s not that I can’t get married, I can’t even keep a man near me. Or some not such come across? Well, it would be 20-21 years old, but after all, I’m already “rolling up” by the age of 30, who will need me then? I'm not talking about the fact that giving birth at this age is scary. At least that's what they say. Of course, maybe people are wrong, but there is no guarantee of this. And men are strange. I met Misha for 3 years, until he offered to live together. And then he said that he suggested this so that it would be easier to part with me. And right away it was impossible to say that he did not need it? Now he still cannot find a girl, because he is looking for them with the help of socionics (by the way, in his opinion, I don’t fit this socionics). I recently got to know Anton. It seems that everything was fine for a month and a half, until one day on a date he could not, like a man ... Most likely, it was fatigue, he had traveled on business before. But it would be better if I stayed with him for the night! Last week he did not call and did not answer my calls, then he wrote an SMS that he was depressed and did not want to see anyone, but in a week everything will pass. And I, just foolishly, wrote: either we part, or finish with your depression! To which he replied that he was sent on a business trip, and probably it’s really better for us to leave, why am I like this ... But I don’t want to! I need to get married, after all! I wanted to get acquainted on the Internet with those who write: I am looking for a soul mate. And you just start talking to them, so they either talk arrogantly, or write only one sentence. And now the questions have accumulated: 1) Why is this socionics needed at all? 2) How can I get Anton back? 3) Am I doing something wrong in dealing with men? 4) How to stir up those with whom I communicate via the Internet? 5) How to make a man at least just stay close?
Do you want to get married? And it is the idea of a "last chance" or the fear of "who will need me then" that pushes you to search for your husband right away? Or do you want a relationship, intimacy, interest in a man, his interest in you and a full-fledged relationship, and if in the process of these relationships you turn out to be suitable for each other, then you can think about marriage? What is "cart" for you, and what is "horse" -?
Elvira Yapryntseva
Most likely, it is the fear that no one will need me after 30 that pushes me in search of a husband. It's like an obsession. Is it possible to get rid of this?
And what, marriage can guarantee you some other, happier life? Or is it still very, very important who exactly you will be married to? What do you think? And what kind of men do you like? They just like it, without "estimating" them immediately into the role of a spouse?
Elvira Yapryntseva
I want to get married because I have to. This is accepted in society. And I also want to have a child and raise him with my husband. I don't want to live alone. And I myself do not know what kind of men I like. But I know what kind of husband I definitely do not need: a drunkard, weak morally, very touchy and prone to revenge. It seems that I have not met such people yet, and it pleases. But the rest do not want to marry me. And I want and apparently this scare them away
Yes, perhaps you are right, the clearly noticeable and strong desire of a woman to marry men scares away. And the fact that you find it difficult to decide which men are attractive to you is also such an interesting phenomenon ... Can you try to say what makes you attractive to yourself?
Elvira Yapryntseva
I am quick-witted in some matters, my intuition works well, I strive to learn something new, to learn something new. In addition, I am damn charming, I know how to please and like men (not all, of course, but there are many of them), I even attract married people a little. I can’t hold a grudge against people for a long time, I forgive, because it’s beneficial to me first of all. In general, I always strive for mutual benefit, for example, a man will help me with housing (I live with my parents), and I will help him in everyday life (now there are so many things to facilitate homework, and inexpensively).
What interesting and positive characteristics have you given yourself? I believe, and I believe with pleasure :) It seems that your desire to get married implies a great desire to start living separately from your parents? Or am I wrong here? And if so, what prevents you from taking this step for now - to leave your parents and live separately from them? For example, with some girlfriend to rent an apartment? Or come up with something else? In order to separate from them - if you, of course, want this - to navigate your desires in relation to men more carefully?
Elvira Yapryntseva
Yes, I want to move out from my parents. But she did not find a job with a large salary, even to rent a room. My salary is 7500. The room costs more. And I don’t have such girlfriends to rent an apartment with her. I have only one girlfriend, and that stewardess. I need to talk to her about this. But I see only two ways out: a) Look for a job with a higher salary. But it is quite difficult, first you need to get an education, which is what I want to do in the very near future. b) Find a guy with an apartment, or with his own, or with a rented one. And try to keep it, and it's hard. I had one of these, with the prospect of an apartment, my own. We met for three (!) years, then offered to live together, and then suddenly said: I offered you in order to make it easier to part with you. Normal, right?! But he, in fact, has his own "cockroaches" in his head. But maybe it's my fault too. I would like to know what ... I just want to live separately from my parents, well, is it really so difficult for men to help me! I know they don't have to help me, but you can show mercy! What will they lose? On the contrary, they will! I will take care of them. I’m too lazy to cook just for myself, it’s not interesting to eat all sorts of goodies alone. but for someone I will gladly cook. Of course, the apartment where I live with my parents is privatized, I have my own share, but I don't want to share it or sell it. Because it may not be profitable for my parents and sister. And I don't want them to feel uncomfortable. But I don't want to live with them either. And you need to get money for an apartment (room)
Well then, it can slightly correct your today's request to men, huh? Instead - "I want to marry you!" speak truthfully, at least to myself - or even in a profile on a dating site :) - post - "I want to move out from my parents. I'm ready to offer myself as a neighbor - with possible co-residence in case of mutual sympathy - to a serious young man without alcohol addiction. Within the framework of a good-neighbourly agreement, I am ready to take care of cooking - with a creative approach! - and also - what - you - are - ready - to do ...." It seems to me that if you make your request, first of all for yourself, make it more clear and relevant to your real needs today, then it will be easier for your potential "applicants" to see all your attractive sides in you, instead of the demanding "take me as your wife immediately!" What do you think?
Elvira Yapryntseva
No, I just decided for myself: I don’t need anyone as a neighbor. And you don't even need neighbors. And you don't need any husband. And I won’t move out from my parents yet, no matter how hard it is for me with them. I just want to date the guy I meet. And I will "study" it, and I will show myself. I will get acquainted with them, on the Internet, for example. Who wants to communicate, so I will. I always did that, it just didn’t work out in the end and we parted ways. But I do not demand the impossible from men
Elvira Yapryntseva
besides, not a single normal man will get to know me if I write what you suggested. It seems to me. And then, suddenly some moral freak will come across? And even if he is normal, he will consider me a kept woman, but they will not marry
I suggested that you try to identify what lies behind your urgent desire to "marry". And in that form. in which I gave you one of the possible options for your need to post this as an "ad" and really harsh. But in my opinion, when we ourselves begin to clearly imagine our real needs, the world responds differently ... More directly or something ... And as for moral freaks - you are already an adult to navigate this, aren't you? And about a kept woman - and about "they don't marry such people" - this is from which side to look :)
Elvira Yapryntseva
Are you saying that I have a chance to "grow up" from a kept woman into a wife? I don’t know, I don’t know ... Although, what the hell is not joking ... But I strongly doubt that I need it. My social circle is now limited only to colleagues. I don’t meet any friends, because in my youth I didn’t make any acquaintances, and now I can’t even imagine how this can be done. If I had an extensive circle of acquaintances, it would be easier to find a husband, I'm sure of it. From my parents, I want to move out simply because I'm ashamed at my age (I'm 27) to live with them. But I look on dating sites, also some young people still live with their parents. And that makes it easier for me. And the men, I noticed, are somehow "braked": they are ready to communicate online, but not every one of them is capable of meeting in reality. Of course, I was just obsessed with the opposite sex. I decided to go to college, and now I force myself to think only about it. Only one thing is unclear to me: why many of my acquaintances found their soul mate, even got married quite early (at 20-23 years old). And I kept breaking up with my boyfriends. Constantly. With the latter, even 1.5 months, I only met. Either I found "the wrong ones", or they were disappointed in me ... It's unfair, because I also have the right to personal happiness!
Of course, you have every right to personal happiness, but how else? As for your acquaintances, who at the age of 20-23 decided and got married - tell me, do your girlfriends have many husbands, for whom you yourself would happily live married? Or do you have a different view of men and other expectations for them? Maybe you are more selective? The institute is a good thing :) But where else can you meet interesting men now - except for the Internet and work - study? Maybe I need to sign up for a gym? Or a thread of a hobby to master? What do you think? And as for the kept woman - the wife, this is what I think. For me, a "kept woman" may well be a beloved, desired woman. which a man gladly supports financially. And who is with a man primarily for love - heartfelt affection, and if a man still has the opportunity and desire to financially encourage her in addition to all this, then this is wonderful :) as you wrote, you cook deliciously, and he eats all of yours with pleasure - and buys food for the house - then are you a kept woman? Or do you have a partnership in which you invest your love and art of delicious cooking, and he invests in food? What do you think?
Why can't I get married- sooner or later, many girls who have problems in their personal lives and dream of simple female happiness face such a question. A special disappointment, a feeling of emptiness, a dead end, loneliness comes at a time when all the friends, classmates, colleagues have already made their family nest.
Difficulties in finding a spouse arise in the lives of girls, regardless of their age, social status, or appearance. Often, even beautiful, wealthy, self-sufficient women are unable to build long-term family relationships and reach the marriage crown, as men "escape" from them after several days or months of meetings. So what is the reason for such failures on the love front? Why can't a woman get married? even if he sincerely wants it?
Often, problems in relationships with the opposite sex are hidden in the peculiarities of upbringing, behavioral models, psychological attitudes and stereotypes.
5 important attitudes for family relationships
The foundation in building a serious relationship is a strong female energy. Men feel such girls a mile away and are ready to move mountains for them, because next to them they feel self-confident, significant, necessary, loved. They receive from them a powerful energy resource and a strong motivation for development.
The components of a woman's strong energy are the following points:
- harmonious relations in the families of ancestors, acceptance of both parents, receiving blessings from them;
- freedom for a relationship with a man (this means that all previous relationships must be put a bullet in order to be able to let something new into your life);
- a positive image of a man (a woman must be sure that there are many worthy gentlemen in the world with whom you can build strong relationships);
- a positive attitude towards marital relations (the conviction that the family is happiness, a way of self-realization of one's female energy);
- the principle of equality (such an attitude reflects that the husband and wife are partners in marriage).
11 reasons why a girl can't get married
Why can't a girl get married? Psychologists identify the following reasons that interfere with building harmonious relationships:
- the desire to compete with the chosen one;
- excessive desire to get married at any cost;
- problems with self-esteem (overestimated or underestimated);
- lack of ability to flirt and build friendships;
- closed lifestyle;
- you do not feel like a woman (this can manifest itself in rude behavior, “male” clothes, untidiness, aggressiveness);
- you do not allow your chosen one to feel like a man, do not ask him for help and do not give him the opportunity to realize his strengths;
- set to fail;
- projecting the bad experience of their parents onto their own relationships;
- lack of time for personal life, preoccupation with work and career;
- excessively high requirements for the future chosen one.
Guys, we put our soul into the site. Thanks for that
for discovering this beauty. Thanks for the inspiration and goosebumps.
Join us at Facebook and In contact with
It is believed that every girl dreams of finding her prince in the future, marrying him and living happily ever after, like in a fairy tale. However, these days, fewer women want to get married: for example, in Europe between 1965 and 2015, the number of marriages per 1,000 people decreased from 7.8% to 4.3%. The same trend is observed throughout the rest of the world, and every year the number of unmarried women, many of whom actually live with a partner under the same roof, is increasing.
We are in site decided to find out why modern girls are in no hurry or do not want to get married at all, and asked unmarried relatives and acquaintances to tell their story.
My partner and I have been living together for 15 years. We met when I was 28 and he was 30, and it so happened that this is the first serious relationship for everyone. We both don't want kids, we love dogs, we're not religious, we choose the same movies and we order the same food at the restaurant. When we are asked why we do not formalize our relationship, we only answer: “Why?”
We both believe that a stamp in our passport will not make us happier or take our relationship to the next level. All these years we lived in rented housing, and recently we bought a shared apartment, and this means much more than signatures on a marriage certificate.
T., 44 years old
I am one of those who in our society is called semi-disparagingly a careerist, although I do not consider myself such. I won’t say that I have some very high position, but the work requires great dedication and takes a lot of time, which, however, does not prevent me from loving it sincerely. I have a partner who we meet on weekends (because he is a workaholic like me) and we are happy with everything.
At the same time, I am sure that there should be children in the family, but I do not think that the family is a prerequisite for happiness. If I got married, I would have to leave my job for a while and devote at least a couple of years to my family. But for now I am not ready for this, because it would negate all my achievements in my work, and now I have a real prospect in a couple of years to head a large department. Will I ever get married? Do not know. If it does not hurt my career, then I do not exclude such a possibility.
A., 30 years old
Everything is simple: I want to be free. Do what you want, go where you want, be friends with whoever you want, and don't answer to anyone for your actions. My mother says that in old age it will be difficult alone, and my father supports me: he believes that a person should live the way he wants if it harms others. As for the future, I prefer to live one day and not think about what will happen tomorrow, because over the past 10 years I have managed to live in 5 cities, and it’s not a fact that even in a month I will be where I am now. Fortunately, freelance work allows.
Perhaps I will seem infantile and windy to someone, but I am happy. And that's the most important thing.
M., 31 years old
I've already been married once. I got married at the age of 20 simply because all my girlfriends did it, and even at that time it seemed to me that if I didn’t get out right now, then I would forever remain an old maid. We had a normal relationship, we even loved each other in our own way and almost did not swear - if only over trifles. Once he admitted that he met another girl at work and really fell in love. I agreed to the divorce without hesitation.
The young man I live with asked me to marry a couple of months after we met (I think he did it just to show the seriousness of his intentions), but I refused and offered to start just living together. I think that somewhere on a subconscious level I am afraid that the future marriage may end in the same way as the first one, therefore I am not in a hurry to go to the registry office even now, although we have been together for 4 years.
E., 28 years old
Some time ago, I almost got married: we applied for marriage, and there were three weeks left until the wedding. That day I was supposed to pick up my dress from the atelier, but when I woke up in the morning, I realized that I did not want to get married. This thought literally stunned me, and I sat for three hours on the edge of the bed in one position, not thinking about anything, except that I did not want to become anyone's wife. I was brought out of the stupor only by the call of my mother, who was already waiting for me at the dressmaker's. I asked her to take the dress from the atelier and put it anywhere, just don't show it to me. Then I called the fiance and told everything, and a day later I left for another city, just taking the train.
It so happened that I stayed in that city and have been living in it for 12 years. I am not married, I do not have a boyfriend, and two years ago I adopted a 3-year-old boy, overcoming many obstacles. And we are both happy.
N., 38 years old
I am 61 years old and have never been married. No, I am not a man-hater, I had a relationship and have a son from one of them, and I even received marriage proposals three times, but each time I refused. Why? Because I always valued my freedom and the right to live the way I want. And in the days of my youth, getting married meant becoming an appendage to my husband - there were a lot of examples before my eyes, including my parents. I had my own apartment, a lot of my own hobbies and those that I shared with my son, and I always felt self-sufficient.
The son grew up and lives separately, and my friends often ask what it's like to be "lonely in old age"? But I do not feel that I am deprived of something: I have a favorite job, hobbies, friends, and I do not think that I would be happier if I lived with a man.
O., 61 years old
In the period from 20 to 30 years old, I wanted to get married, but I didn’t meet, as they say, a suitable person, and I didn’t want to marry the first one I got. It so happened that at the age of 30 my career went up dramatically and I simply did not have time for anything other than work. Now I am almost 40, I have my own real estate and investments that generate income. I can't imagine that I have to share all that I have earned by hard work with someone else, or pay his debts, for example. In a couple of years I plan to give birth to a child, and if it doesn’t work out, then adopt.
S., 39 years old
I don't want to get married just because I don't want children. Of course, it would be possible to find a man with similar views, but it is not so easy. I know women who also did not want children and seemed to find a person who shared this position. However, after some time after the wedding, men still began to talk about the fact that it would be nice to “continue the race,” and women sometimes gave up under their onslaught.
My decision not to have children is a conscious and non-impulsive decision, and I don't want anyone to try to convince me of it. In general, it seems to me that modern men are much more interested in children than women.
I., 32 years old
I believe that the institution of marriage is outdated and it is high time to leave it in the past. For me, marriage is strongly associated with the oppression of women - perhaps because I grew up in a country where the woman has always been in second place. I can't imagine that I will be subordinate to someone and actually cease to be a separate person. Despite the fact that now I live in a society where equality reigns, at work (I work in the social sphere) I often come across women who are in the family on the sidelines. My boyfriend and I live separately, and in restaurants and movies I always pay for myself. For me, there is nothing worse and worse than depending on someone, and I try to avoid this always and everywhere.
D., 31 years old
How do you feel about marriage?
All your friends have been in a relationship for a long time, get married, have children, and you don’t even really meet anyone and wonder what’s wrong with me, why can't i get married? At first it did not bother me much, but the years go by, and nothing changes. You stop enjoying life and get upset every time another friend reports that she has been proposed. The situation can drag on for a long time, so even in 30-35 years things will not get off the ground.
Why can't a woman get married?
What is the reason? Why can't a woman get married??
And the reason is very simple. And it’s not that you don’t engage in self-development or somehow behave in a wrong way. Or so obsessed with the thought of marriage that you can’t think about anything else. It's not about that. More precisely, not quite in this. The reason is that thoughts are material, and you send the wrong request to the Universe, and it does not respond in the way you need. From year to year you think “I want a husband and children, children and a husband, a family” - no specifics! What husband? Who should be the husband? First of all, it should be the person you love. Even not who loves you is already the second. The very first message to the Universe - I want to fall in love, fall in love, meet a loved one, marry .... And here is the stop. These are 2 different goals. Because you can fall in love with a person who does not marry you, or, conversely, marry a person who is not very beloved. The universe is confused and does not know what task to perform. Moreover, you are so obsessed with the fact that the task has long been the same - to get married. There are no words about love - of course, this is a matter of course, but it should not be so. There must be a correctly formulated, complete thought. And with your “I want to get married”, the Universe sends you faceless potential good husbands, whom you don’t even notice, because they don’t have any features that could attract you. They just pass you by in droves, just like your years. And you still send the same request and pour from empty to empty.
Stop! Your main desire should be to fall passionately in love. Dot. Throw all thoughts out of your head, open your eyes and "chakras", open up to the world and meet the person to whom you will be drawn. When you meet, start a relationship - no thoughts about marriage and any future in general should be in your head. Everything in turn. Your girlfriends also did not receive an offer out of the blue from the first person they met - at first there was an acquaintance and falling in love. You also need to go through this mandatory step. Thoughts of marriage and family are premature without him. Even if you are 35 years old. If you try to jump over this stage in your head, you will never succeed.
Why can't a pretty girl get married?
Causes, why can't a pretty girl get married, lie approximately in the same plane as in relation to other girls. Of course, it can be argued that the beautiful have more demands and they spend time waiting for the prince, but this is only one of the reasons and not the main one.
The second reason: beauty is nothing if you do not know how to present it correctly. There are very few truly beautiful girls who disarm at first sight. But beauty is not just about looks. This is also the knowledge of how to “frame” this appearance. A huge number of beautiful actresses are lonely or unhappy in love, because their beauty is "empty".
The third reason: beauty and attractiveness are two different things. You can be beautiful like a Madonna from images, but you will only be admired from afar. Men are attracted to sexuality. Do not confuse with debauchery! And a virgin can be sexy.
The fourth reason: everything in a woman loses value, including beauty, when she is conquered or really wants to achieve a man.
Read more about the influence of a beautiful appearance on happiness in your personal life.
Why do some people not get married?
And yet it happens that not everyone manages to build family happiness. There are a number of other reasons why do some people not get married generally. Oddly enough, the main one is a hidden reluctance to actually be married. Everyone who wanted to get married, all sooner or later there. Think about this phrase literally. When the main thing is the stamp in the passport, then the rest is secondary - the appearance, age, "quality" of a man. Therefore, “getting married is not a problem” - there is such a saying. But in the mind of many women it is not so. They just don't want a marriage like this. This is the key point. There is an internal substitution - I want to get married, but at the same time I do not want for those who are nearby. The first step is to meet the right person. It's not always easy. Some people need one thing, some people need something else. Until the puzzle is assembled according to all the necessary parameters, there will be no picture. But waiting can disappoint, depress and lead to the thought that there is no such person for me. And even worse - to throw in extremes and build relationships with completely inappropriate, which leaves pain and despair in the soul. They, in turn, reduce the chances, because a person is more focused on internal experiences than on the ability to discern a potential partner.
Remember the stories about how women quickly got married after they relaxed and said “not destiny, but oh well.” How they fell in love with each other literally immediately after they decided that this would not happen in their lives. The main thing is not to get hung up on age. And then many write - I'm already 37! So what? What does it affect? The fact that infantiles who “love” a young body under 20 will disappear. So this is even a plus!
25 ways to stay single
1. Make a list of what it should be, which shows a subconscious fear of being alone. There is no perfect ideal in the manifested world.
2. Too much thinking on the topic "All need one!" It is important for any woman to understand that communication with men does not oblige to enter into intimate relationships immediately at the first date, and each woman decides these moments for herself. Learn to say "no" without feeling guilty.
3. Be very picky. A woman needs to be not picky in dating, the more breakups, the less chance of divorce. But picky about intimate relationships. These relationships strongly bind a woman, automatically she begins to see her husband in him, even the composition of her blood changes.
4. The remaining thought that no one will be better, after experiencing emotional romantic relationships.
5. Expression of constant grief on the face. Thus, a woman seeks protection from heart wounds. Naturally, no man will encroach on the grief of a woman. The cultivation of sorrow permeates it through and through.
6. A certain type of women "macho in a skirt" does not recognize dependence on the opinions of men, which helps her to strengthen her sense of her supposed dignity. A kind of feminism does not give her the opportunity to find a partner in life.
7. If you already have some kind of relationship with a man, but there is no fuel to improve the relationship, it leads to the destruction of these relationships. The need for love is fuel, regardless of the age of the relationship.
8. A woman believes that she can only give a man sex. which is a huge misconception. Men are also interested in many colors of the world, impressions and sensations from the surrounding action in life. And one more thing, a man likes to be just next to a woman.
9. Expect. that at the first meeting there will be an explosion of emotions, love. There is a type of woman who can only build relationships with the thought "the earth must tremble at the sight of me!"
10. When a woman needs shock events to awaken emotions, in this case, the feeling of love is suppressed due to the suppression of the pain of loss. And a woman will subconsciously attract such a man, who will inevitably cause her the same pain. Law of Magnetism.
11. Waiting for a miracle like in a movie. The question arises - why is my life not like in a movie?
Attachment to numerous soap operas - serials. to the illusory events of life. A woman projects the illusions of cinema into her real life, getting an artificial taste for life, not noticing the true taste. TV series replace natural natural life.
12. Never listens to girlfriends and friends and their phrases - Be careful with him!
Passionate emotional feelings close the sense of danger. Passion does not allow you to see a worthy man. there is no connection with positive emotions and the woman puts her heart under attack. it is necessary to get rid of the negative experiences brought from the past.
13. Excessive penchant for romance. In this case, no man will be able to satisfy her romantic fantasies until he "goes down to earth." She will always find flaws in every man. I'll tell you. that such a woman spends her enormous vitality on such a titanic work, painstakingly looking for those same flaws in every man.
14. Search for a sensitive man. She herself lacks openness, because the nature of the feminine is initially soft. fluffy, smoothing the sharp corners of the male manifestation. Imagine next to you not a defender of your well-being in life, but a man with feminine qualities, which is nonsense by definition. Although in the modern world these opposite energies have already been transformed to unisex. But the true nature remains the same in its basis, and only the people themselves transform their deepest nature of the two principles with their desires.
15. Lack of optimism, excessive criticism. focus on failed marriages or failed relationships. Collects given statistics and her mind hunts for such information. thus closing the way to a harmonious partnership.
16. Convince yourself that you can handle everything yourself, thereby creating a lack of opportunities to "give". Loses the ability to receive love.
The psychic centers do not receive the energy of joy and happiness in relationships. Over time, the very idea of the need for a loved one is already associated with weakness, it seems to her. that if she recognizes the need to accept male help, she will immediately show herself weak. Afraid of always losing himself as a strong personality in the eyes of others.
Dear ladies!!! Believe me. that the weakness of a woman is the most powerful psychic weapon that exists in the world at all !!!
And in order to learn to love such a woman, it is necessary to accept the support of others, which will gradually weaken the tight reins of a woman who is not at all intended by nature, the male role is everywhere and in everything. Do not hesitate to ask for help from men for a variety of reasons, thereby you, my dears, increase your feminine power !!!
It is susceptibility or the ability to accept, trust that attracts a man in a woman. a woman will not become a true woman. if she is going to fulfill her desires. This is what a man should do by nature. What is a man to do with such a woman? Actually no comment.
17. The great employment of a woman in her career does not allow her to notice her personal female needs and perhaps helps her forget her problems. Years go by for the whole process of career progression, the goal is achieved ... with what does she remain in the inner world? The whole nightmare begins on Friday after work, she always has someone to plow with. and then ... go to a lonely apartment? It's time for depression ... and to get away from depression, a woman finds a man. who is also in the same depression, the woman begins to quickly nimble - pay bills, repay card debts, pay for his apartment. begins to "save" him in every possible way - this is a super way to stay alone again.
A man, seeing her fuss around him, feels even more unnecessary, that is, they don’t want anything from him - he degrades even more as a man, thereby a woman kills a man in him. Naturally, such relationships are destroyed, in the internal state the man will not stand it, sooner or later he will leave her. Why do you think? That's why. that she would witness his fall as a man. I have seen examples of such relationships in my life, and the result was just that.
There is a rule: You can never give a man support. if you are in a state of depression.
If a man feels that no one needs him, he begins to degrade and collapse.
Tips for a woman:
Stage 1 - Reveal your feelings, complain, admit your helplessness. This will slow down your energy female depletion.
Stage 2 - Pay more attention to yourself. and understand that they can do without it.
Stage 3 - learn to ask men for help.
Stage 4 - Learn to say "no" to others with love.
Stage 5 - Heal your heart from the pain associated with past rejection.
Stage 6 - Remember your requests when they were ignored - cleanse your heart and forgive.
18. Reckless service, when a woman tries to serve others in order to earn their love. A woman is looking for those who need more than herself, serves, does something, runs, again looks out for who will need it, and who again needs more than herself ... vital forces are depleted, fatigue comes, there is no strength to do anything for herself , nor for others. Such a state of mental, mental and physical strength comes that she herself needs help most of all!
Rule:
You cannot make others happy by becoming unhappy instead of them!!!
The treatment of women is to remove pain and suffering from the heart. to live happily.
Carefully avoid new responsibilities; hang on yourself the pain of others and not allow them to hang themselves with their problems. help others in a way that is not at the expense of your own health.
The treatment of men is the opposite here, try to help others, those who need help, your support, look for those who are even worse off than you. Thus, the man recovers, since the stimulus of compassion gives him the opportunity to manifest himself as a person. Dear wives. if you notice. that your husband suddenly jumped out of his chair and ran to support someone or help friends, do not swear and understand that this is the key to his male health and success.
For men it is important to listen, for a woman it is important to complain. One gets rid of depression if he listens, and others. if they say.
19. The desire to have children at any cost and to devote oneself to serving the child, such a position interferes with arranging a personal life.
20. Cultivate fear of close relationships with a man, such women communicate with a man inaccessible, as an example - the Internet, that is, he is at a great distance from her place of residence. Or they attend seminars, courses, find an object of adoration, for example, in a lecturer. And they sit quietly for themselves, eyes wide open, which look with admiration at the lecturer, but ... if he happens to come close to her, just by chance, then the fear of intimacy, when he finds himself next to her, will instantly blow her out of the hall. Waste of women's time.
22. "The kids need me!" - such an attitude of a woman scares and repels men. She sees her happiness in the continuation of her child. He gives himself all his life to his child, fights for two, both for father and mother, endlessly suppressing his relationship to intimacy with another. Sacrifices himself for the sake of the child. This sacrifice is a heavy burden on the child. because he has no chance to give happiness to his mother!!! And not every child can withstand such a heavy load of the mother, it can break. Our children do not need such sacrifices, the child will be happy only when the mother herself is happy!!!
Such is the Law of Fate.
23. Jealousy of children. How many mothers and fathers have lost a lot in their lives because of the selfishness and cruelty of their own children. Blind parental love makes them unhappy, and when the children grow up, the parents also remain lonely and not needed even by their children.
24. Attempts to be happy, but with these attempts remaining unhappy.
