Baby Masturbation: Is There Anything To Be Afraid Of? Children's masturbation: causes and ways of getting rid of What to do if a child is engaged in self-satisfaction

There are things that, though embarrassing to talk about, are necessary. For example, child masturbation. Many parents are left alone with this supposedly shameful problem of the child and begin to fight this phenomenon as best they can. They make mistakes along the way, and masturbation only gets worse. Others study books and articles on the topic and look for helpful advice. What to do?

Masturbation or body study?

Now the boy is changing his diaper, and at that moment he pulled himself on the penis. Should this be considered masturbation? Children get acquainted not only with the world around them, but also with their own bodies. But if from the earliest infancy interest in all "decent" parts of the body is encouraged and the baby is asked to show again and again where his eyes and ears are, then any interest in the genitals causes concern for the parents. Meanwhile, the kid is interested in them in the same way as, for example, arms and legs. And yet there is a difference. The genitals are permeated with a rich network of nerve endings and are hypersensitive, and touching them is usually pleasant. Children can get acquainted with these sensations, both by studying themselves and later taking an example from their peers, or quite by accident. For example, with constipation, due to tension, blood rushes not only to the anus, but also to the genitals. Tight, tight clothing and thermal underwear can have the same effect. Overly thorough hygiene procedures can cause pleasant sensations.

Children's masturbation in boys is more common due to the structure of their genitals, but girls also have this phenomenon.

Masturbation and sexuality

Many parents worry because they associate attention to the genitals with the early development of sexuality. They paint themselves pictures of early sexual intercourse and, if pregnancies, as well as an asocial lifestyle, sexual deviations. Don't panic. Child masturbation is very common. But it is extremely rare to cause early sexual relations or the development of deviations. Usually, these phenomena have completely different reasons, which relate to the problems of social adaptation of the child. Especially if there was child masturbation at the age of 3 to 5 years. Pleasant bodily sensations are not yet associated with attraction to the opposite sex, so this habit is almost analogous to thumb sucking, heel scratching and other stimulation of sensitive areas on the body.

Masturbation and neurosis

First, you need to try to distract your child. If he is easily distracted from this process, you should not sound the alarm. Another thing is, if it is difficult to distract the child and masturbation strongly absorbs him, we can talk about neurosis. Also, changes in the behavior and condition of the child should be alerted. If he began to sleep worse, be more capricious, cry, suffer from fears, become nervous and aggressive, he has problems. You can see a neurologist. In addition, most often children masturbate in secret, but sometimes it happens that a child does it in public. This suggests that either he cannot control himself, or he deliberately provokes adults to a negative reaction. Both that and another indicate that the child is bad. In the first case, masturbation can be a symptom of neurosis and be considered an obsessive action. In the second, the child has a clear problem in relationships with others, primarily parents. It is known that children who lack attention are ready to receive it at any cost. For example, shouting, swearing, and even corporal punishment are better for them than indifference. Therefore, when they are usually simply not noticed, they themselves provoke aggression.

How to react

First of all, react calmly. As you understand, nothing criminal is happening before your eyes. And if we are talking about neurosis, then children's masturbation is not a cause, but an effect. It is necessary to distract the child, but it is not worth showing your horror or anger. In general, this habit should deserve as little of your attention as possible. Let the child not think that he is doing something special and terrible. Children who are inclined to provoke adults will only be summoned to criticism from this. Quieter and more fearful children will begin to consider themselves bad, their self-esteem will drop. A person can take out from childhood an attitude towards sex, sexuality as something dirty, shameful and then have problems in relationships, and not accept their genitals as part of themselves. All these problems can be combined in one child, and they are not always clearly visible.

It is important to create a calm environment. There should be no verbal and even more so physical aggression. Think about what might be stressing the child. Indeed, very often children soothe themselves in this way. You can try to keep a diary, and then analyze what events were on the day when the child masturbated. Was the regime violated, was the baby too overwhelmed, or, conversely, was bored. This will help to adjust the child's lifestyle: in one case, reduce the load, in the other, on the contrary, increase.

Masturbation and itching

One of the causes of child masturbation can be irritation in the genital area. The child is itchy and begins to scratch the perineum. This process gives him pleasure, and he begins to call it over and over again. Itching can be caused by uncomfortable clothes, but there can be some medical conditions. With children's masturbation, children are usually tested for worms and inflammation. In addition, irritation can be caused by food allergies, so some doctors in this case advise to limit particularly allergenic foods, such as citrus fruits, chocolate. Sometimes overfeeding of the child can also cause such a reaction, but in this case, the reason is psychological - when the food ceases to give pleasure, the baby looks for another source of it.

Treatment of masturbation in children

Sometimes doctors prescribe medication for child masturbation, but more often than not, it is enough to normalize the psychological environment and regime. In the presence of neurosis or diseases such as worms, inflammation or allergies, the disease itself is subject to treatment. In the meantime, it is important to tidy up the child's diet, not to overfeed him.

Try to devote more time to him, as the habit is often formed from a lack of affection and attention. He should spend more time outdoors and communicate with friends more often.

Very often, many parents literally immediately "grab their heads", catching their child for certain manipulations with the genitals. But is this always a sign of a child's predisposition to child masturbation? Of course not. If we speak cleverly, correctly and in a nutshell, then masturbation is a deliberate action (any manipulation) with the genitals, aimed at obtaining pleasure. Naturally, having caught a baby in such an occupation, there can be no talk of any child masturbation. This is a normal manifestation of interest in your body, in its structure. If the actions are purposeful, if the child is really engaged in masturbation and you have no doubt about it, then you need to approach the situation correctly and, which is very important, not provoke psychological trauma. All actions should be aimed at maintaining the natural, normal relationship of our treasure to your body, as well as ensuring its sexuality in the future.

Common causes of child masturbation and parenting rules

First of all, it is important to correctly determine the reasons why the child began to engage in masturbation. They can be varied and individual, but there are several main ones that are primary sources:

Ways to get rid of a bad habit

Many sexologists do not see anything bad and catastrophic in masturbation, but it is a harmful habit, and it can provoke obsessive behavior and subsequently get out of control altogether. It is necessary to fight it, but carefully, gradually and as calmly as possible.

You will find more materials on and with it in the sections of the same name of our parents' club by clicking on the corresponding links.

Children's masturbation: reasons and methods of getting rid was last modified: July 22nd, 2015 by Koskin

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Hello dear parents!
Today we will talk about a difficult, but exciting topic for many parents - baby masturbation... What is this phenomenon? Is it dangerous? And how to react?

The "nature" of infant masturbation

Today medicine and ambiguous approach to this topic. Some say that masturbation in childhood- This is a completely normal phenomenon, an indispensable component of the development of a child, which can manifest itself at an early age due to the experienced excitement. This can manifest itself by accident: during sleep, while climbing on the playground, in response to physical irritation, with diaper rash, at the moment the child examines his own body. Having experienced this sensation once, the child may find it pleasant enough and will try to repeat it. And then the REASON for this behavior becomes less significant, and FREQUENCY comes to the fore. Other experts consider this behavior dangerous, sometimes even a harbinger of a more serious mental disorder.

There are several types of classifications of this phenomenon. Psychologists also decided to keep up: so, at work D.N. Isaeva and V.E. Kagan "Psychohygiene of gender in children" various types of masturbation in children and adolescents are indicated, which is based on the concept of various mechanisms of masturbatory behavior. However, let's not get scared ahead of time, but let's figure out when and why this happens.

Infant masturbation

It is RARE, exactly as a behavior that can be called masturbatory. Visible in the 1st year of life, more often in girls. It is associated with cerebral dysfunctions, which can be a transitory phase of development, but sometimes should be alarming in terms of more serious cerebral disorders. Infant masturbation expressed in various manipulations with the genitals - frequent touching, rubbing and other forms of mechanical irritation, during which the child, as a rule, experiences pleasure, blushes, breathes noisily, and sweats.

Preschool masturbation

It may be a consequence of interest in oneself and how everything works, having experienced pleasant sensations, the child may strive to repeat them. Most often it happens in a situation where the child is left to himself and, what is important, does not have other, alternative forms of realizing his interests and receiving pleasure.

Adolescent masturbation

In adolescence, masturbation becomes a mass phenomenon. I.S. Con pointed out that in boys it is increasing after 12 years, reaching its "peak" at 15 - 16 years old, when they do it 80-90% of boys.

Teen masturbation

Is an a means of relieving sexual tension, caused by physiological reasons, including: overflow of seminal vesicles, mechanical irritation of the genitals, etc. Along with this, there are mental factors - an example of peers, a desire to test their potency, to have fun. It is often accompanied by vivid images, fantasies, and often even the choice of quite specific partners in their fantasies.

For mental disorders

Depending on their specificity, its manifestations are also different:

• Symptomatic. As a result of direct irritation of the genital or close areas with infectious and somatic diseases, more often helminthiasis, itchy dermatoses, as well as in the absence of the necessary body hygiene.
• Frustrated or Neurotic It occurs in preschool and school age, and is not directly related to sexual attraction. The child is, for example, a high level of requirements at school, at home there are strict rules and prohibitions, additional education is also associated with concentration and concentration. The child needs to be disciplined, organized and focused everywhere. For any child it is stressful, and if your child also has a choleric temperament, then masturbation is a "salvation". It is the only discharge, relieves stress of the nervous system. A child, as a rule, after a "hard day" is looking for opportunities for masturbation, not for sexual satisfaction, but as a way to relieve tension, discharge.

  At times masturbation begins in the first grade, when the child is in a constant stressful state, and the orgasm brings him temporary relief, distracting him from the threats posed by the teacher, classmates, etc. Some children begin to masturbate on the sly right in the lesson: during the test, before going out to the blackboard. However, children never show off masturbation and it is important to know that if this does happen, then it is here that it is better to consult a psychiatrist.

Well, finally, there is also PSEUDO masturbation- exploratory or familiar. The child essentially plays with the genitals - touches them, fiddles, etc., without rapid breathing and climactic discharge.

Is it dangerous? Why are adults so scared?

Most often, masturbation is a part of the cognitive process of oneself, one's body, as well as an adaptive-compensatory mechanism for obtaining positive emotions and sensations during stress and other psychophysical and emotional uncomfortable states. Well, one more function is sexual release in adolescence until the moment of finding an object of love and affection.

By her own masturbation is not dangerous if:

• it does not have a pretentious character with the use of foreign objects that can harm the child.
• if masturbation is episodic and does not have an intrusive nature as an everyday ritual.

However, there is still a danger, but it does not come from the process, but from the REACTIONS of the PARENTS or other ADULTS(educator, teacher). Adults are most often afraid that this "Mental illness", "sexual pathology", signs of "bad inclinations and addictions" and begin to actively PUNISH this behavior of the child. It's a delusion! For none of the listed conditions, masturbation is the leading or main symptom! But persecution by adults, inadequate reactions due to the best motives, can bring unpleasant consequences for the child, for the formation of his sexuality, attitude towards his own body and for building relationships with the opposite sex.

Despite the fairly large amount of information, most parents are very concerned about the fact that their child is “playing with the genitals”. Anxiety often makes it difficult for parents to properly respond to the appearance infant masturbation. What fears do not overwhelm caring parents: is he “normal”, and “is it too early to do this,” and “will the child then be able to live a normal sex life at all?” - something. "

And it must be said most definitely that harm here can be done ONLY by the wrong reaction of adults. In case of AGGRESSIVE behavior of adults (ridicule, intimidation, disclosure, including among peers, anger, persecution of a child, slaps on the hands and other parts) a baby can have a bond of sexual feelings with fear and shame, which will have a very negative impact on his future. The shame that surrounds everything related to gender and related organs can lead to the fact that, as they grow older, the child does not tell you about the situation that requires intervention. (for example, about harassment by an adult or older child), after all, the baby will be afraid even more of the DISCONNECTION of the parents associated with the topic of sex and the body than of a potential rapist. And now this is deadly!

In the long term, such "Ostrich politics" will come back to haunt the inability to discuss certain intimate issues with your partner, not to mention the difficulties associated with the perception of your body as something dirty and shameful. Even more serious consequences of an inadequate response of adults can lead to an incorrect formation of sexuality, expressed in a reduced potency in men, and a lack, or even the very excitement in women.

If a significant person for the child persists in instilling in him that he has vicious inclinations, then sooner or later the child will try to justify such assumptions. In the case of ignoring this behavior and trying to pretend that everything is normal by the parents, the child can simply "get used to" this form of behavior as an affordable and quick only way to achieve a goal (stress relief, for example).

What to do?

The correct perception and reaction of the parents, as we discussed with you, when discovering the fact of the child's masturbation is much more important than the fact of this phenomenon.

Psychologists suggest adhering to a few simple principles:

• the emergence of masturbation as a phenomenon of cognition should not cause vigilance - its consolidation and an increase in the facts of repetition should prompt an analysis of the reasons;
• a strict ban on masturbation can only stimulate interest in it and its use;
• do not make the topic of masturbation significant in the family circle;
• there is no reason to perceive child masturbation, arousal, identical to adult sexual arousal, especially at an early age;
• you should not yourself stimulate the use of masturbation by the child (show films, programs promoting this, as well as create soil, excessive caresses of an adult, kisses in the groin areas, buttocks, tickling, as well as tight, noisy violent games before bedtime).

How to react if you notice masturbatory behavior in your child:

• Calmly and calmly, with the involvement of a medical, physiological language, explain to your child that these are intimate organs and excessive touching or stimulating them is unhygienic, can damage the delicate structure of the tissue (without intimidating !!!);
• It is also important to explain to the child that this is very intimate and cannot happen in public places if the child tries to do it, for example, while climbing on the playground, which happens quite often!
• Be sure to monitor the hygiene of the child so as not to provoke an additional reason in the form of itching;
• Provide the baby with medical assistance in case of specific diseases in time;
• Show attention and analyze (in what situations or after what events it is most likely to happen), think about possible alternatives. As in other, more socially acceptable ways, you can relieve emotional stress and unobtrusively offer them to the child (increase in physical activity, for example, in the form of training, walking, etc.).

Summarizing all of the above

Early infant masturbation Usually it is caused by NOT SEXUAL reasons at all, since puberty has not yet begun and the level of sex hormones is not high enough to force the child to discharge himself. There is no need to look for "depravity" in a child, fight against "bad inclinations", be ashamed, etc. On the contrary, if baby masturbation caused you a violent reaction and similar thoughts, then perhaps you need help in acquiring an adequate attitude towards the body and its vital functions rather than the child. So you need not to frighten him and yourself with the consequences, punish, worry and fantasize about a possible negative future, but try to calm down, follow the above recommendations or seek more thoughtful help from a pediatrician and child psychologist.

Be attentive to yourself and your children!
Respectfully yours, child psychologist, ava-therapist Lyudmila Vorobyova
([email protected])

Health and hygiene issues are inextricably linked to bad habits in children. These examples include masturbation in children... Masturbation - artificial irritation of the genitals - is especially harmful because of the detrimental effect on the development of the child's body, on the state of his nervous system. Such children are usually pale, with blue circles under the eyes, sometimes with a slightly puffy face. The eyes lose their shine, the child hides them, there is no direct, open gaze. These children are lethargic, get tired quickly, are not interested in games, their peers, shun the collective, children's society. Prolonged masturbation leads to mental retardation, dullness of memory, a sharp decrease in abilities and poor academic performance in schoolchildren, and in advanced cases - to serious mental illness.

The reasons for child masturbation can be as follows:

1. Pinworms. Not everyone knows that worms, and especially some of their types, often cause bad habits in children. This applies to small pinworms. They live in the rectum and usually crawl out onto the skin of the perineum at night, causing unbearable itching. Insomnia appears, the child gets nervous, scratches the skin in this area. In girls, itching becomes even more common as pinworms crawl to the outer genital area.

Itching provoked scratching in the perineum and genitals leads to masturbation. That is why it is absolutely necessary to thoroughly treat helminthic diseases in order to maintain health and in order to prevent the emergence of this bad habit. In addition to the use of antihelminthic treatment, strict adherence to the hygiene of the child is of great importance. Clean hands, neatly trimmed nails, changing panties daily, boiling them and stroking them with a hot iron, washing the child before changing panties are no less important than the treatment prescribed by the doctor.

2. Long-term loneliness of the child when he is left to himself and neglected. One example is indicative: a child under 3 years old was left alone in the room where he was locked. Subsequently, when circumstances changed and the child was placed in better conditions, they noticed that he was hiding, seeking solitude. It turned out that the child masturbates. It takes a lot of patience and tact to deal with a bad habit.

3. Masturbation often occurs in children doomed to stay in bed for a long time(bed rest) with relatively good or just good general condition. This is especially true for children suffering from certain heart diseases, such as rheumatic heart disease, when they often keep the child in bed for a long time without sufficient reason, without even trying to occupy him with something. Some parents unnecessarily pamper their children, keeping them in bed beyond measure, when it is not indicated by a doctor: after flu, tonsillitis, runny nose.

However, you should also not go to the other extreme and not put your child to bed when it is necessary in the interests of his health. While the child is in bed, observe him as carefully as we used to do in relation to children on the street, in the park, in public places.

Tips for parents: what to do, how to deal with child masturbation, treatment

1. To prevent the appearance child masturbation, monitor compliance with the correct regimen in general, and especially the sleep regimen - carry out a strictly established and always at the same time, going to bed.
2. Before going to bed, allow children only calm games and walks in the fresh air; noisy games and conversations, prolonged reading, spectacles, including television, are inadmissible.
3. Have dinner two hours before bedtime, without spicy foods, strong tea, strong coffee.
4. Empty the bladder before going to bed.
5. Sleep on a hard bed in a well-ventilated room.
6. Sew a long nightgown.
7. When falling asleep, keep your baby's hands on top of the blanket or under the head.
8. Make sure that in the morning the child does not lie in bed for a long time, but, when he wakes up, gets up quickly. Always wake him up at the same time.
9. After getting up, morning exercises (even for little ones), then water procedures (wiping or dousing). Cold water procedures, like all hardening activities, play a huge role in the prevention and treatment of child masturbation.
10. For children with masturbation, take off daytime naps by going for a walk in the air. Walking and playing in the air is useful for all children, especially those suffering from masturbation. Take them out for walks in any weather.
11. If the parents of a child suffering from masturbation teach him to daily physical exercises, outdoor games, and older children - to sports, then in this way you can successfully overcome this habit. A healthy, cheerful, hardened child will not engage in masturbation.
12. A very important link in prevention and treatment of child masturbation- labor. Teach your child to help around the house, achieve purposeful, well-organized, always carried out at the same time, work on the preparation of homework. Keep such a child constantly occupied, give him various tasks (draw, cut, mold something, and so on).
13. Watch your speech, exercise restraint in conversations, do not say in the presence of the child what he is not supposed to know.
14. Be gentle, tactful and modest in your intimate relationships so that your child does not witness what he should not be watching and what, if not understood, can leave a traumatic mark on his child's psyche.
15. Fighting masturbation, do not humiliate baby, do not shout at him or punish him.
16. Do not sew special clothing for children attending kindergarten (for example, special knotted pants, etc.). Such constant evidence of his vice leads to humiliating conversations, ridicule, which will further alienate the child from his peers. But the society of children, the team, joint games and activities that are useful to captivate such a child is one of the means of his treatment.

Based on the materials of the magazine "Family and School", 1962

Pathological habits in children

The most common pathological habits in preschool children are habits such assucking objects, thumb sucking, nail biting, masturbation (masturbation). Less common in preschoolers is painful urge. pull out or pluck hair(trichotillomania) and rhythmichead shaking and torso (yakation). The basis of pathological habits is the fixation of certain actions. In order to help children get rid of pathological habits, parents and educators need, first of all, to understand the nature of these habits.

It is known that pathological habits reduce negative emotional experiences in the child (dissatisfaction, conflicting feelings towards people close to the child) and help relieve emotional stress.Fixation of pathological habits is also helped by the feeling of pleasure that the child experiences and the increased attention of the surrounding adults to these actions of the child.

It must be remembered thatwhen pathological habits are suppressed, the child's feeling of inner tension increases.Moreover, having suppressed one habit in a preschool child, we immediately get another in return. A particular difficulty lies in the fact that in most cases, preschoolers do not have the desire to overcome pathological habits, moreover, there is often active resistance to adults' attempts to eliminate the actions that are habitual and pleasant for the child (the child's understanding of pathological habits as negative appears only by the end of preschool age) ... Along with common features, pathological habitual actions have peculiarities inherent in each of them, and therefore, ways of overcoming.

Masturbation in a small child. What to do?

Your baby is growing up, and then one day you notice that your son or daughter is touching his genitals. What's this? Natural childish curiosity or pathological habit - masturbation (masturbation)?

Usually between the ages of 2-3 to 5-6 years, children begin to take an interest in learning about the differences between the female and male body. They look at naked children and adults with interest, but the sensations of their own bodies are no less interesting for them. Children often play with the genitals, touch them, pull at them, scratch them ... The interest here is purely cognitive! But, if the feelings that the child experiences at the same time become for him the dominant source of positive emotions, then he begins to resort to stimulation of the genitals all the time, as a result, masturbation arises.

At 2-3 years old, the baby still does not understand what masturbation is, does not know that touching himself and others in some places is considered indecent, therefore at this age it is too early to talk about masturbation (masturbation). Masturbation is a way of self-gratification, when a child brings himself to emotional release (before going to bed, hiding in a secluded place) and does it regularly, then you can talkabout a pathological habit... In an open, noticeable form for adults, this habit occurs in 5% of boys and 3% of girls of preschool age (according to A.I. Zakharov).

If a child is easily distracted from looking and feeling his body parts, openly asks questions (for example, about the structure of the body, about the difference between a man and a woman, between a girl and a woman), his behavior is not disturbed, normal sleep, then this is a natural step in development psyche, knowledge of the surrounding world and oneself. The surge of such interest occurs at the age of 3 to 6 years, and then dies down until adolescence. In this situation, it is enough for parents to behave tactfully, not to be ashamed of their natural curiosity, to answer children's questions.

Prerequisites for the emergence of masturbation

Physiological.

An active, indomitable temperament (choleric) and, as a consequence, an increased need to release mental stress.

If a girl does not like to play with dolls, she prefers to be friends with boys; if the boy has a pronounced boyish behavior.

Psychological.

Improper upbringing, when the child feels unnecessary, unloved, lonely: excessive severity, restriction of activity, a large number of prohibitions, physical punishment (especially spanking on the bottom, whipping with a belt). It bothers him and torments him so much that he tries to distract himself in order to compensate for his loneliness. If a child at this moment accidentally discovers that masturbation drowns out his anxiety, makes life more pleasant, then he will deliberately engage in it.

Problems of emotional contact with parents: lack of affection, attention, positive emotions, early separation from the mother (when the child is sent to nursery early, the mother goes to work and delegates the care of the baby to another adult).Sensitive to separation from mother. The child, in protest, closes in on himself and looks for a way to discharge himself.Such children hide their feelings, emotions, experiences, often live in their own, invented world.

The second child appears in the family, and the older one feels unnecessary, unloved.

Force-feeding also contributes to masturbation. When parents are at war with the baby, they push in, forcing everything to eat. It only causes aversion to food. And if the child does not experience the pleasure of eating, then other sensitive areas of the body are turned on. The area of ​​the mucous membrane of the lips and mouth is associated with the genital area. If the first is "silent", then the second is excited. (according to A.I. Zakharov). The kid begins to touch the genitals. If you continue to force-feed your baby, it continues to discharge. The habit is fixed for a long time.

Psychological contamination - adults often take the child to their bed, caress too much, kiss on the lips, or observe hygiene too carefully (frequent washing, etc.). Imitation of elders - if a child saw in the movies, accidentally saw his parents, or older children with increased sexual interest.

Clinical.

The manifestation of neuropathy - sleep disturbance, poor falling asleep - leads to an accumulation of anxiety, which is thus eliminated.

What else can provoke the emergence of masturbation?

The only child in the familyisolated from child society.

High emotionality of the child.

Increased excitability.

Physical punishment (spanking, spanking) promotes blood flow to the genital area, inadvertently arousing the child sexually.

Pregnancy pathologies, unwanted pregnancy.

When the parents wanted a child of one sex, but "turned out" - the other.

Excessive adherence to parents.

Father's impulsiveness, intemperance.

Mother's coldness.

Neglect or, conversely, too careful observance of hygiene standards;
Excessive wrapping, tight clothing.

Failure to comply with hygiene, excessively tight clothing, itching in the genital area with diathesis, worms, diaper rash leads to the appearance of specific sensations and the desire to cause them.

You suddenly found your child masturbating

First of all, if you suddenly find your child engaged in masturbation, you do not need to faint or scream, stamp your feet.

It takes endurance and tact. If this is a small child, then try to calmly, without emotion, switch his attention to something else.

It is also necessary to behave calmly with a school-age child, talk about it when he is able to listen to you. But, in any case, do not scold the child and do not intimidate!

Calm him down, instill that you want to help him, that you do not judge him, that this will not affect your love for him.

After the first shock has passed, a trusting relationship with the child has been established, try to understand why the child is masturbating?

rubdown.

How to avoid fixing masturbation?

And how can you help your child?

So, first of all, find out the reason for the habit.

Do not shame in any way, do not punish, do not scold. Don't overdo it on masturbation. Your threats to the baby are worse than masturbation. It is they, and not masturbation, who are capable of crippling the child's future.

You don't even need to talk to your child about this topic, but radically change educational methods, relationship with the baby.

Give your child more freedom, the opportunity to act independently.

Praise often.

The family environment should be calm and friendly.

If the child wants to run, jump, do not hold him, but, on the contrary, provide physical activity (walks in the fresh air, sports or dance section).

Encourage the child to express feelings and emotions, if he does not know how to adequately respond to negative emotions - teach.

Communicate more often on neutral topics, avoiding lectures, lectures.

Treat prickly heat, diathesis, helminthic diseases in time; urological and gynecological diseases.

Clothes should be clean, loose, not chafing on the body. Tight clothing can constantly press on the genitals or irritate them while moving. A child, feeling uncomfortable with such clothes, will constantly correct it, unfasten the zipper, and have to touch the genitals.

Do not frighten the kid with the dire consequences of his “dirty” actions! This will lead to the emergence of an inferiority complex, which in the future will result in problems with knowing your body, problems with sex in adulthood.

Do not humiliate the child with interrogations, examination, discussion of this topic in front of strangers.

As soon as you notice that the child is interested in sex differences, explain them to him. However, remember that at the age of 2.5 - 4 years, the child does not need details. Just tell him that girls and boys have different urinary organs so that he does not show increased interest in this topic in the future. If you do not explain this to him, then he himself will start looking for answers to his questions (which he may not ask out loud). After all, there are numerous cases of children demonstrating their genitals in kindergartens (the toilet is common!).

It is best to teach the child to sleep on its side, placing both palms under the cheek. Some babies like to sleep on their stomachs. This is also a safe position in terms of possible masturbation. But if the child prefers to sleep on his back, then it is best to teach him to put his hands on top of the blanket, not explaining the true reason, but coming up with some plausible explanation.

If you are helping a preschool child wash, then you should neither rub the genitals with a hard washcloth, nor gently touch or stroke them. Treat them like a normal part of the body, then the child will treat them as well.

Teach your child to play and have fun. In other words, it is important to teach your baby so that even being alone, he could independently occupy himself with something interesting (besides masturbation).

Review your diet (less sweet, spicy, salty).

It is necessary to distract the child with a more enjoyable and interesting activity, expanding the range of interests and communication with peers. It is necessary to increase activity in movements, in the ways of expressing feelings and include in the child's life recreational activities aimed at increasing the sense of the body: bathing, dousing,

Seek help from a neurologist.

Remember! Masturbation is a way to release nervous tension. If you cope with the stress, masturbation will "go away."

Love your child!Most often, masturbation affects children in orphanages, who are not needed by anyone, loved by no one, and have no opportunity for self-expression. Make a conclusion !!!

And if the problem persists ...?

If, nevertheless, the child does not stop masturbating before 8-10 years of age, be sure to consult a child psychiatrist or sex therapist. Often at this age, masturbation can be attributed to the influence of sexually anxious adults or adolescents with mental disabilities.

The need for masturbation may also be due to the child's increased hypersexuality or premature psychosexual development.

Many children are unable to cope with their hypersexuality on their own. And since the satisfaction of sexual attraction is pleasant to him, and dissatisfaction, on the contrary, causes mental discomfort and unpleasant sensations, then he seeks to please himself as best he can. At this age, the child is not able to realize the consequences of an early formed libido in the form of surrogate forms.

“Suffering” the child in such cases is absolutely useless.

You should know that the manifestations of premature psychosexual development can and should be treated. If this violation is not eliminated in time, then a stable stereotype of surrogate realization of sexual desire will form in the child.

In conclusion, we note thatthat the more the desire of parents to remove, eliminate the external attribute of the problem- whether it is thumb sucking, objects, nail biting or masturbation,the less chance of eliminating the cause of the habit... In the prevention of pathological habitsof great importance are the normalization of intrafamilial relationships, a gentle and equal attitude towards the child, satisfaction of his need for emotional warmth and affection,systematic recreational and physical education activities, the development of creativity.

Pathological habits must be treated with due care. Only then will the child's situation change in the desired direction.

Bibliography:

Alekseeva E.E. Pathological habits in children. // Bad habits. URL: http://adalin.mospsy.ru/l_03_00/l0301190.shtml.

E. Vinogradova “Bad habits. Little tips for parents. " M., St. Petersburg. 2006.

Sviridenko E. V. Children's masturbation: what is the reason and what to do? // Baby's health. URL: http://www.mama23.ru/articl/cat-10.html.

Shirokova G.A., Zhadko E.G. Childhood masturbation. // // Bad habits. URL: http://adalin.mospsy.ru/l_03_00/l0301190.shtml.