Love is a predictable and not always rational feeling. It is not for nothing that it is attributed to the pranks of Cupid, who shoots arrows right and left, without particularly looking at the targets.
So it turns out that the heart sometimes chooses someone whom it is not at all desirable to love. Diving headlong into the pool, a woman enters into a difficult relationship with a lot of problems and a subsequent sad ending.
A striking example of this is an affair at work with a married man.
Alas, it is impossible to order yourself not to love your chosen one, even knowing with your mind that this will be the right thing to do. Sometimes love attraction acts despite the fact that both are aware of all the negative consequences of what is happening.
For a mistress, an affair with a family man is especially dangerous and full of unpleasant consequences. And there is a lot of negativity hidden in the relationship itself, but we’ll talk about that later.
Lover and wife
When starting an affair with a married colleague, a woman will have to get used to the fact that she will see the spouse of her chosen one in person, and not know about her by hearsay. It's normal for spouses to drop by at each other's work to surprise each other or meet during lunch break.
Perhaps this will not happen often, but each such situation will act like a tub on the mistress cold water. After all, this is another reminder of the “wrongness” of her choice of relationship with a family man. 
Seeing the communication between her chosen one and his wife, the mistress will feel heartache, jealousy and powerlessness to change anything. At such moments, a woman is acutely aware that she is in the background.
Condemnation of others
Office romance with married man will certainly cause condemnation from everyone who finds out about this. No matter how long and successfully you manage to hide the relationship, it will not last forever.
An affair between a married woman and a married man will cause a double dose of censure at work and among others.
The lovers will be judged by colleagues who know the man’s wife by sight and who saw how she carefully brought him a forgotten lunch to work.
No less negativity will spill out from the acquaintances of the lover himself, who has entered into a relationship outside the family.
Friends and family, having learned about the novel, will definitely not admire it. It is possible that due to delicacy they will not say this to your face, but condemnation is an emotion that is easy to read in behavior and even in a glance.
Life is on pins and needles
Being in constant danger is constant stress, hair loss and sleepless nights. Only in films does the need to hide strengthen and strengthen character.
Unlike the plots of films, the danger here is not Armageddon or a crowd of mafiosi with machine guns, but human gossip. No matter how hard a couple tries, an affair at work with a married man cannot be hidden forever.
The employees are an established team where everyone knows each other well. Once one colleague finds out about an affair, it will soon become known to everyone.
Condemnation, reproach and whispering behind your back in the office and smoking room are the least of what you will have to face sooner or later.
Stress factor
For greater clarity, you can make something like a sign or list “an affair with a married colleague: pros and cons.” Stress should definitely be included in the negative category.
You will hide all the time, afraid that the relationship will become noticeable and colleagues, friends or, God forbid, his wife will guess about it. She can cause a scandal, file for divorce and ruin a man’s life.
From the day a woman begins a close relationship with a fellow family man, she will begin to fear exposure. An office romance with a married man will certainly be associated with negative experiences throughout the entire period.
Also, regarding the consequences for a mistress in a relationship with a married man, we turned to an expert. She gave us a comment, looking at the question from a rather interesting angle:
Why do “office romances” last for years? Scientists have calculated periods of sexual activity for men and women.
An interesting fact: it turned out that the peak of arousal for both sexes is maximum from 16 to 20 hours. It is at this time that most love couples meet “on the side” - at the end of the working day. And within the family at such a time it is usually impossible to make love.
Let's look at the position of a woman lover: what she has and what she loses in a relationship with a married man.
From the point of view of the laws of energy, where our attention goes, our attention also goes there. life force. And we, women, constantly think about our lover, dream, worry, plan something, and along with our thoughts, our energy flows straight to him.
Everything would be fine if he (the man) gave us the same amount of energy in return, but a married man divides his affection between his mistress and his wife, and the mistress here receives much less than she gives.
What does such a long-term relationship lead to? The woman gradually becomes empty and becomes uninteresting to either her lover or other men.
The second point is the aura of an unfree woman. Often a mistress thinks: well, I’ll meet while I have no one, and when a worthy person appears, I’ll break up with this “married man.”
But on a subtle level, men subconsciously read that this woman is “busy,” and as a result, only those who are also looking for an easy relationship on the side are attracted to her.
At the same time, the man, receiving support, develops his business and gets rich, and the mistress, at best, has “gifts”, but nothing more.
The mistress never comes first
If you are planning to have an affair with a married colleague, you need to realize that you will not be the only one. The palm always belongs to the wife. She is the legitimate soul mate or even the mother of their common children.
It is she who gets everything from “your” man: gifts, sex, spending time together. It’s better not to flatter yourself with hopes that your chosen one will leave his family for you – his new love.
If this happens, it means that the family ties of this man will never be a reason for fidelity.
A man will destroy your family for the sake of his next amorous adventures just as easily as he once broke up his marriage for the sake of an affair with you.
Saving on gifts
In a relationship with a colleague, and even burdened with a family, there is a purely financial disadvantage and its name is saving. The bulk of your chosen one’s income goes to the family.
In many married couples, the budget is shared, so a man simply cannot, and is unlikely to want to, hide a significant part of his salary or bonus. The romance between a married woman and a married man will be based on the balance of funds not used for families.
A free girl in a relationship with a married guy will never receive those beautiful courtships or gifts that she has the right to hope for in the case of an affair with a bachelor.
Prioritization
When analyzing an affair with a married colleague, the pros and cons will not be comparable. There are much more cons than pros.
It is important for a potential lover to set priorities, because relationships with a family man interfere with work. Moreover, they can even interfere with career growth. Human factor is also present in the fateful decisions of the authorities.
It is not a fact that, being the most likely candidate for promotion, a woman simply will not receive new position due to the boss’s condemnation of a sensational office romance.
A relationship with a married colleague will most likely not end at all. beautiful wedding, but by exposure, followed by separation. Men rarely leave their family because of an affair.
You will have to urgently look for a new gentleman or another place of work, or even all at once. A logical question arises: why create such problems for yourself at all?
The best decision
Let the slight sympathy or spark that flashed between you remain a pleasant memory that does not develop into something more. Look around: there are many attractive and free representatives of the stronger sex around.
To avoid starting a relationship with a married colleague, it makes sense to switch to someone single.
Knowing in advance about all the negative consequences, better solution will be a refusal of an affair with a family man. You will save yourself from a lot of hassle and unpleasant moments.
How to behave with your lover in order to get maximum pleasure from the relationship and minimum mental anguish , – a whole science. The option of an alliance with a married man is suitable married lady or a woman who does not want encroachment on personal freedom.
Meetings and holidays with romance, bright sex and other attributes will brighten up gray everyday life, make you feel welcome, special, and give fresh emotions. You shouldn’t count on spending the weekend together; you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that you can call and write to your lover only at the agreed time.
What to avoid when communicating with a man
Some “forbidden” relationships pass quickly, others can last for years. Much depends on how much the partners value each other, for which the duet was originally created (sex, romance, communication).
If a man lacks mutual understanding, tenderness, and unity of souls at home, then with a competent approach from his mistress, it will be possible to build a relationship format that satisfies the needs of the partner.
Major mistakes should be avoided.
His family is sacred
It can be hard to accept that your loved one belongs to someone else. It is necessary to clearly understand from the very beginning that until a man independently decides to separate from his wife, nothing will be done for a divorce. You can gently guide him, but do not push him.
Decide at the start whether it is acceptable in your relationship to talk about household chores, problems, discuss spouses, children, parents. If yes, the woman should be sympathetic, she cannot speak sharply, categorically about what is happening, or criticize.
Men often take the position “only I can beat my slaves”; any rude word said to his family can turn him against his mistress.
You shouldn’t force the situation by making your presence known by calling and texting your wife. It is not a fact that, faced with a choice, he will not make it in favor of his legal wife, not wanting changes in life, an established routine. Discuss the time and methods of communication. Is it possible to call, write, at what time?
No self-interest
Men understand perfectly well when they want only money, connections, and practical help. The lover in fact owes nothing to his chosen one.
If he has a desire to make her life easier and more pleasant in a way accessible to him, he will certainly take advantage of the situation that arises. It is worth voicing some points in which his participation would be appropriate, but in an informative style, without demands. The stronger sex, interested in a woman, perfectly hears and understands hints.
You can’t be offended because he takes his family on vacation to an exotic resort and gives his mistress inexpensive jewelry as a gift. Speaking in a negative way runs the risk of getting a rude, unpleasant response.
His conscience will definitely not awaken from a note of protest. If the material component is important, you need to initially look for a sponsor.
Put aside the drama
A sure way to ruin a relationship is to create demonstrative suffering. A mistress for a man is a holiday that allows him to escape from the burden of problems, responsibilities, and worries.
He craves lightness, positivity, sensual pleasures - anything, just not a picture of hand-wringing over a failed call, rescheduled for another date, or a suddenly interrupted meeting.
The girl should not reprimand him for the fact that she cooked dinner, prepared herself for the visit, planned the scenario for the evening, but her lover could not come. It can be difficult for single people to spend weekends and holidays alone. It is advisable to organize your life in such a way that it is quite full and bright, and the visits of a man complement it.
How to behave with a married man if you are a mistress
Ringed representatives of the stronger sex are in no hurry to change reliable rear houses for mistresses' apartment . They happily find time for meetings, give attention, affection, present pleasant surprises, but nothing more.
Men are not inclined to take steps towards a new life when falling in love, unlike the weaker sex.
When dating a married man, you need to understand what he is looking for, what missing elements he is trying to fill, preferably:
- be able to find connecting factors and interests;
- have a similar worldview;
- be friends, listen, understand, provide support;
- do not be shy to openly express positive emotions and feelings.
- maintain individuality.
With this approach, pairs line up harmonious relationships, cemented not only by sex, but also by spiritual unity.
How to behave with your lover so that he is afraid of losing you: psychology
In order for the admirer not to relax, he must be kept in a slight tone, but not slide into an outright provocation of jealousy. He must understand that the girl’s life does not revolve around his person, it is rich and interesting. You shouldn’t show that the light in the window comes on only during his visits.
A woman develops, learns something, reads, goes to various events. Let him know about it. Just don’t say that you visited the exhibition in the company of a handsome colleague: men are jealous, even when they have no moral right to be so.
A bad option is to hang on to him, pester him with calls and messages. Let the guy feel a constant slight hunger for communication, but don’t be afraid to show that his calls and visits bring joy.
It is useful to show character from time to time, not agreeing to anything that goes against personal desires and plans.
How to behave with a lover so that he himself is drawn to a woman
Representatives of the stronger sex love themselves most and when they are loved. The atmosphere of warmth, lightness, joy attracts them like a lantern of moths.
This is why they make friends on the side. You need to be different: calm, eccentric, quiet, submissive, capricious. Let him not know in advance which girlfriend is waiting for him today. It’s nice when a lady is unobtrusively interested in business and asks how it went an important event, meeting. This shows concern for his life, participation.
What should behavior be like in bed?
As natural as possible. Two people end up in the same bed for mutual pleasure. A common female mistake is to portray a model on the catwalk: I lie down like this, the folds on the side are not visible, etc. A normal adult man at such a moment does not care about cellulite, the “not so” curve of the hip, the length of the legs.
He considered all this before sex. Since it happens more than once, it means that all his physical characteristics are quite satisfactory to him. Gradually, it is worth studying the tastes of your chosen one, do not hesitate to talk about erotic topics, and compare fantasies. The coincidence of temperaments, level of openness to new things and experiments is the basis for a harmonious long-term relationship.
How to seduce and make someone fall in love with you so that you don’t leave?
Seduction is a game of two, everyone must understand the rules, tactics and strategy. What does he want and what do they want from him? A woman should be sexy: not vulgar, vulgar, eager to break, but soft, mysterious, alluring.
Taming is a long and painstaking process. It is necessary to induce in a man a number of habits associated with passion. You shouldn’t immediately try to embrace the immensity.
Enter your lover's life on soft paws, gradually expanding your range. Maneuvering between submission, a man’s adoration and preserving her own character, habits, and individuality, a wise girl will be able to become indispensable.
How to tame and manipulate him?
, get an idea of what reactions to events he gives, how they manifest themselves, how openly, how intensely. Observation and intuition help in exploring the depths of the chosen one’s personality.
Some situations that cannot be studied in natural conditions can be “modeled” or created artificially. A subtle game is needed here: guys, of course, relax, lose their vigilance in the presence of a young lady who pleases their hearts, but not all of them and not always.
You need to learn to notice the connection between words and the response to them, especially from facial expressions and the body.
What to do if it gets cold?
In any relationship there are dips in interest. If it becomes noticeable that your lover is no longer so eager to go on dates, carving out any minute, then you need to ask yourself whether you want to do something about it, maintain contact, or whether you can, with a clear conscience, let the situation take its course and not regret it.
Don't want to carry out resuscitation measures? Great, part on a good note, without scandals, accusations, or reproaches.
Do you value relationships and are ready to save them? Show unobtrusive care, generosity, tact. Perhaps the guy has falsehoods in his work, health, family, and has no energy left for “left” relationships. Offer help where you can really be useful.
How to behave if you are also married
Ladies have lovers for various reasons: they may lack attention at home, sex, kind words, admiring eyes, compliments, warmth, attention.
Boredom is on last place. When men are asked why they need an affair, many answer that in general everything is fine at home: the wife is smart and beautiful, the kids are adorable, but there is no drive, it’s bland. The weaker sex more often gets what it lacks, falling into a dangerous delusion.
Having received what they need from the “left” partner, they fall in love with him so much that they are ready to tell the whole world to hell and build a life with him. Wonderful, wonderful, subtle, gentle!
Forgetting that he may only be like this in the role of a boyfriend. At home it's ordinary husband, tired, preoccupied with problems, forgetting about the need tender words and regular kisses. Advice from psychologists: you need to set priorities and not fall into illusions.
Not worth it:
- Ignore sex, spending time with your husband.
- Forget about contraception.
- Involve your friends in the novel.
- Neglect measures to create an impeccable reputation.
Pair married lovers– the best tandem: both outline a set of rules that are strictly followed. It’s more difficult with single admirers: you need to instill in them an understanding that at night, evening time There should be no calls, messages, or other compromising moments.
Portrait of an ideal lover
The ideal is unattainable, but it is necessary to strive for it. Surveys among guys made it possible to create an image of a lady whom the vast majority would like to see as their mistress.
Flawless appearance
From the ends of the hair to the heels. Delicate skin without obvious flaws, natural makeup, clean hair is something that all men celebrate.
Frankness and emancipation
The last thing potential lovers would like to do is play the game of “guess what I’m offended by” or “persuade me into sex.” Many people have enough of this kind of stuff at home.
Spontaneity of behavior (not to be confused with bad manners), initiative in bed, and readiness for bold experiments are encouraged.
Fighting girlfriend
A lover and a friend rolled into one is priceless. A young lady who is able to share the hobby of her chosen one, or at least try to understand what he saw in it, instantly receives +1000 points to karma.
Easy and joyful
With a skillful approach, a lady can play up any feature of appearance or character, presenting it as a highlight. Except for the eternally sad face.
Constant universal sorrow in the soul and on the face poisons the joy of communication. Few people want to be an eternal mixture of a jester and a psychoanalyst. More positive, pleasant emotions.
What are men afraid of in such relationships?
When entering into a relationship with a mistress, men are most afraid of the following moments:
- What does the wife find out about the fact of the “leftist”.
- That the mistress will become pregnant.
- That the mistress will insist on leaving the family and remarriage
Most fears are in the area of what love relationship will require some excessive effort, turning from an exciting but simple game that can be interrupted at any moment into a problem that requires solutions, often complex and unpleasant.
There was love, there was passion, there was intimacy, but it didn’t work out... You broke up, but you still continue to see each other every day. Because you work together. How to behave in such a situation? Pretending that nothing ever happened between you and your co-worker? Avoid contact with your ex? Or maybe quit altogether? Recommendations are given by psychologist Elena Godina.
“All people are different, and so are situations,” says the specialist. - Some will take the breakup of the relationship completely calmly, while others will find it difficult to even look at their ex-lover. Then, there are situations when they broke up, so to speak, “by agreement of the parties,” and sometimes one of the two cannot come to terms with the fact that he was abandoned. It is clear that in each case the recommendations will be individual.
If you “broke up” by mutual agreement and continue to work together, then the most logical thing would be to remain on good terms with your former friend and even friendly relations, says Elena Godina.
You are both adults and should understand that anything can happen. Yes, as partners in your personal life, you were not suitable for each other, and from now on everyone went their own way. But you may well succeed as friends and colleagues. You must admit that your relationship has simply moved to another level. You can still turn to each other for help and support - within the framework of work and friendship.
If one of you is the boss and the other is a subordinate, then the situation, of course, can become more complicated, the psychologist believes. The close relationship between a manager and a subordinate makes life difficult in itself. What if they have already ended? Is it worth emphasizing official style communication? Or is it better to think about changing jobs?
According to Elena Godina, in the presence of other employees, it is best to maintain subordination if familiar relations are not generally accepted in your company. In private, you can continue to call each other by “you” and by name, but it is advisable not to mention what happened between you. This way you will avoid unnecessary negative emotions.
But it’s one thing if you simply don’t get along, and another thing if the novel left a lot of negativity. Let’s say the man you had high hopes for turned out to be a womanizer, and you were interested in him as another “souvenir” for the collection. Or did he treat you badly, mock you, cheat you on dates, use your money and property? Finally, you caught him in elementary treason...
Of course, if the relationship has left mostly negative impressions, it is very difficult to treat the person well after that,” states the psychologist. - And yet it is within your power to at least maintain neutrality. Convince yourself that the scoundrel and traitor is just your colleague, co-worker, and nothing more. Well, you were wrong, it happens to everyone!
But what if you want to end the relationship, but your partner doesn’t agree? Or, on the contrary, did he leave you against your will?
If ex-lover does not accept the situation with the breakup and does not want to listen to your explanations, then you can try to ignore it at first or limit communication to officialdom and solving work issues, advises Elena Godina. - If the situation is the opposite, then you should think carefully about whether you need a person who no longer has any feelings for you. And he, most likely, does not feel it, since he decided to break up.
You can think about quitting if the situation is insoluble - that is, the man continues to pursue you, demanding reciprocity, or if he initiated the breakup, and you just can’t forget him, it hurts you to see him with someone else... By the way, you don’t have to quit completely - you can look for the opportunity to transfer to another department or any other option in which you will encounter as little as possible.
Perhaps, before making any decision, you should discuss your relationship with your “ex,” says Elena Godina. - For example, you can decide whether you will remain friends, just colleagues, or whether it is better for one of you to move to another job.
Remember that the end of an office romance is not the end of your life or evidence of your failures. Learn a lesson from what happened and be open to new relationships, the psychologist advises.
It is very difficult to find out that your spouse has cheated on you. But it’s even harder to understand that he works together with his mistress - after all, this means that they will continue to see each other regularly!
If you both decide to start working on repairing your relationship, this becomes a serious obstacle and adds fuel to the fire that is still burning in your marriage. It is clear to both that the first step to healing is to stop contact with your mistress (lover). But under these conditions this is impossible. How to be?
- Honestly consider changing jobs (yours or your lover's).
Think about what opportunities there are to leave this company or this department, what opportunities there are to find new company or transfer to another department in another building or another city. Do you, as a manager, have the opportunity to transfer your ex-lover to another department or negotiate her transfer to another job on decent terms? Or negotiate the dismissal of your mistress at will with payment of compensation?
As a rule, when a psychologist asks couples to think in this direction, most clients initially answer unequivocally that this is impossible. At the same time, as a rule, people who turn to a psychologist are residents of large cities; most of our clients are highly qualified specialists in their field. That’s why the first unequivocal reaction sounds somewhat paradoxical: is there really no other position in the whole city where their talents and skills could be in demand? Of course, there are objective difficulties associated with dismissal: loss of work experience in one company, an established team, etc. However, understanding that the world has not converged as a “wedge” on one company greatly increases the effectiveness of work to restore trust in a couple.
Are there any other options?
- Stop fighting with each other, become a single team that together reflects external temptations.
If you want to heal your marriage and your spouse is working on his ex-lover, it is important that you stop treating each other as enemies. Look at each other as allies who have common goal. “There are you and me, but there is the world around us.” Use the pronoun “we” more often. “We both want to heal our marriage. We both want to make our marriage safe and restore the trust we once had."
Based on the experience of consultations, the deceived spouse was always great impression spoken phrase out loud: “Honey, I want you to know that you mean much to me more important than work" Sometimes after these words the husband added: “Of course, I’m scared. I don't know when I'll be able to find similar work. I'm worried about how my leaving work will affect our financial well-being. But I, just like you, with all my heart wish for the end of the relationship on the side. If you decide that it will be better, calmer, I will quit.” In many cases these words were spoken quite sincerely.
Such a phrase often produces a powerful effect. In some cases, it was enough. A betrayed spouse may not want the cheating spouse to leave their job because it will affect their overall finances. But for the injured spouse to know that their spouse ready Quitting your job at their word is extremely important. This adds warmth to the relationship.
In other cases, the cheating spouse actually took this radical measure and quit the job where their lover was. Such couples significantly accelerated the work of healing the relationship. Experience shows that, as a rule, they eventually found new job. Not always, but sometimes even more paid than the previous one.
- It's important to see that you have a choice.
If you both agree that it is better for your spouse to stay in the same job, you need to be patient. His ability to manage his feelings will gradually increase, but stability will not come immediately. It is fundamentally important that the cheating spouse understands that he has a choice: to go with his ex-lover to lunch during the break or not. Appear in a common “smoking room” where there is a chance to meet a former lover, or not. It is important that he resists temptations not “to please” his wife, but following his own inner decision to remain faithful and work on the relationship in marriage. Otherwise, very soon the “teenage” pattern will work: I will allow myself to “be silly” a little while “mom” is not looking.
If you choose to stay at your current job, you cannot change the layout of offices and stairs, you cannot change job descriptions and cancel meetings, however you can change your attitude to occasional meetings at work with his former lover - and this will transform the situation.
- Inform your boss about the situation.
This move has helped many couples. Cheating spouses are usually afraid to tell their managers about the betrayal that occurred. They think it will negatively affect their reputation or even fear that they will be fired. However, most often the opposite happens. A person, by his behavior, sets an example of determination and honesty. A manager may have the authority to transfer his subordinate’s ex-lover to another building, to an office on another floor, or sometimes to another part of the work team in order to minimize the likelihood of former lovers meeting at work.
- Conduct a brainstorming session together to collect ideas on how to maintain a feeling of safety and reliability in the heart of the injured partner.
For example, these ideas could be:
- The cheating spouse can put a photo of their husband/wife (or a family photo) on their desk in the office.
- An unfaithful spouse may call his husband/wife several times during the workday from an office landline number to confirm his love and to enable his spouse to verify his whereabouts.
- The cheating spouse may occasionally invite their spouse to go to a business lunch together in the middle of the workday.
- He can also invite his wife to some informal event at work, where the presence of relatives of employees is allowed. At such events, you can try to help your spouse Special attention, show with your eyes and gestures the degree of importance of your spouse in your life (hug, hold hands, etc.).
- Avoid situations where the cheating spouse is alone with his ex-lover in any room at work behind closed doors.
- Discuss on your own or with the help of an intermediary (psychologist) what boundaries and rules you will adhere to when communicating with the opposite sex. It is important that there is general agreement on this issue. Maybe you decide for a while not to say goodbye to friends of the opposite sex in the form of a kiss on the cheek, but limit yourself to a smile and words of farewell.
6. It is important not to create an awkward secret. If you met your ex-lover at work, it is better to tell your spouse about it.
Your goal is not only to create an atmosphere of safety and trust for your spouse, but also to help him (her) regain his (her) self-esteem. If the injured spouse sees that he is included in the team, shared with, and discussed difficulties that arise, it is easier for him to feel safe and loved.
It so happened that your relationship with a man began at work. You broke up, but no one wants to quit. How to work with an ex-boyfriend who is constantly in your sight?
As you know, we do not choose the place and time of meeting with our future soulmate. People meet each other anywhere: on the street, on vacation, on a train or plane, in a cafe and at work. And if you don’t get along in character, then you can just break up and go to different sides. But if you met at work, then there’s no escape: you’ll have to see your ex-passion every day. What to do, how to work with your ex, communicate and build your relationship further?
Of course, it is best in principle not to start any romances at work. After all, it is unknown whether you will be together in the future or not. As a rule, after a breakup there is often a period of conflict, which is absolutely inappropriate in the workplace. But if this has happened and your lover is a colleague, be careful in the future. Loud, scandalous breakups should not be allowed if you still decide to run away. The breakup must be peaceful. And even if he hurt you or deceived you, betrayed you, don’t make a scene, intelligently sort out the relationship and end it smoothly. You can't be enemies; it will be simply impossible to work together after that.
You are unlikely to achieve it, so neutrality is the best that can be. If you just broke up, it takes time for the wounds to heal. Take a wait-and-see approach and consider the following important points.
- Take the question of how to work with your ex seriously, because you love your job and don’t want to quit. If the relationship ended on your initiative, the abandoned lover, of course, is offended. A civilized person will not show this, but an ill-mannered and wounded man will definitely try to show you his indignation. This can be expressed in barbs and malicious jokes. But ex-boyfriend It can also go the opposite way - start ignoring. Be prepared for this and don't pay attention. This will pass with time, when passions subside.
- Be smart, be patient and don’t fall for any provocations. Be friendly and say hello to him, even if he doesn't answer. If you get the opportunity to talk alone, take this chance. Pride is inappropriate here if you really want to stay in your favorite job and not go to it like hard labor. When you are alone, tell your ex-lover that you are grateful to him for everything and wish only happiness in the future. Hint in the conversation that you want you to remain friends. Clever man I must understand you.
If the relationship left behind a lot of negative emotions, it is difficult to imagine how to work with your ex without remembering these sad details. But the only way out, if you don’t want to leave your post, find the strength in yourself to admit that you made a mistake in a person and move on with your life.
