Chapter 13. Maternal superiority Any relationship between mother and child can be viewed from the point of view of a double hierarchy, opportunistic and structural. The conjunctural hierarchy of interdependence from the day of birth of a baby is based on his need for a mother

The interlocutor rests his head with his hand. It is clear that he is indifferent to what is happening. If he is sitting in the audience, we can say with confidence: the material presented by the lecturer is completely uninteresting. In such cases, we recommend changing the topic of the conversation to an exciting one or "shaking up" with an unexpected question. Be sure that he will wake up, and this is exactly what you need.

Disapproval

Shaking off non-existent villi, straightening the folds of clothes, pulling a skirt in non-verbal communication is a sign of your opponent's disagreement with the stated point of view. You will quickly understand the need to move to neutral topics. However, if a thread really stuck to the sleeve of a jacket, clothes are wrinkled, you should not regard this as a gesture of disapproval.

Willingness to leave

It can be identified by such signs as drooping eyelids (loss of interest), scratching the ear (blocking out the flow of speech), stretching the earlobe (does not want to speak), turning the whole body towards the door or pointing the leg in this direction. The gesture of removing the glasses also signals the end of the conversation.

Irritation

When a person tells an obvious lie, and realizes that you saw through him, he will experience irritation from your innocence, which can manifest itself in the involuntary loosening of a tie or collar. In non-verbal communication, this can also manifest itself in rubbing the neck, unnecessary hand movements, pinching a lady's purse, mechanically drawing on papers

Dominance gestures

Superiority

The so-called "director pose" or "boss pose" in a seated position. Hands are behind the head, one leg on the other. If the eyelids are barely closed or the corners of the eyes are slightly squinted, the gaze is directed downward - in front of you is arrogance, disdain. This position of the body as a means of non-verbal communication is often accepted by bosses, people in leading positions. They are confident in themselves, demonstratively express their importance in front of others. An attempt to copy this gesture threatens to be fired from work soon.

Equality

Almost all men use a similar gesture, women are much less. The nature of the handshake can say a lot, first of all it will reveal the intentions of the other person. If at the moment of joining two hands one is above the back, its owner demonstrates his leading position. You can check how firmly he defends his status as a leader in a simple way: turn his hand up. If you felt resistance, then you will not be able to convince him to take equality between you.

Tactile movements

These include hugging, shaking hands, patting the shoulder or back, touching, kissing.

By the nature of the hugs, their strength, duration, they determine the meaning of feelings expressed by a person.

Bosom friends who were in a long separation, when they meet, almost strangle each other in strong embraces. Lovers linger in a gentle embrace for a long time. Hugs between distant relatives, depending on previously maintained contacts, can be both restrained, cold, and passionate. Between loved ones, they carry a soft, soulful meaning. In wrestling competitions, for example, participants hug shortly and part.

Such a means of non-verbal communication as hugs are more common among representatives of the strong half of humanity, between women they are a little less common. Now you can see two teenage girls on the streets running towards each other with open arms. At this age, the frequency of such contacts, both between boys and girls, is expressive in nature, when you want to throw out the excess of joy, delight and admiration for the meeting. If you see same-sex couples walking slowly along the sidewalk in a woven embrace, it might inadvertently suggest gay sex.

Handshake

Handshakes, as one of the means of non-verbal communication, also differ in the way they are performed, strength and duration. A strong, energetic shaking of the interlocutor's hand, coupled with a joyful exclamation, speaks of the partner's sincerity, his desire to continue the conversation. The girth of one's hand in the form of a "glove" also speaks of friendliness. But if a dead hand is extended to you, like a dead fish, they do not want to contact you.

A cold hand in a shake can signal that its owner is either cold or very worried. Misted palms speak of a nervous experience. A hand that is palm down in a shake indicates a desire to dominate another person. If, on the contrary, it is turned with the palm up, its owner unconsciously recognizes himself as subordinate to the interlocutor.

Pat on the back or shoulder

Patting on the back or shoulder is mostly typical for men. These non-verbal gestures are often interpreted as showing friendship, sympathy, or encouragement. They can be seen in almost all age categories. Patting, as it were, demonstrates masculine strength and the willingness of its owner to come to the rescue.

By the way, this gesture should not be confused with that used in medical practice. A newborn child is slapped on the back so that it screams and straightened its lungs, and a choking person is slapped from behind. Patting is a form of massage practice. That is, the specific meaning of this gesture depends on the current situation.

Touches

Touching is common in the world of non-verbal communication. In educational activities, it helps to stop a mischievous mischievous person, in the case of a deaf person, to draw his attention to oneself, in medical practice, using this gesture, they diagnose a state of health, the massage technique is based on a combination of methods of touching the body, in the intimate sphere between spouses they serve as a prelude to the connection. Different types of touch are an indicator of the partner's unspoken feelings. They can be gentle, affectionate, light, strong, rude, hurtful, etc.

Kissing, as a type of tactile gesture, is widely used in all aspects of a person's life. In relation to a specific object, the nature of the kissing changes. The mother kisses the child gently and lovingly, between loving people, they can range from a light touch of the lips to a passionate kiss. Here we will note that kisses can be both sincere displays of feelings, and formal, cold, traditional. They kiss at the meeting and goodbye, kiss at the time of birth.

Eye contact

Eye contact is an undeniably important communication process. As you already know, it is through sight that a person receives about 80% of impressions from all senses. With the help of the eyes, you can convey a variety of expressions, thanks to them we can carry out the process of managing the course of the conversation, provide feedback in human behavior. The look helps in the exchange of remarks, since most of the statements without the participation of the eyes would be meaningless.

Remember how badly the interlocutors on the Internet need a variety of emoticons, which are a substitute for such a means of non-verbal communication as an exchange of views, facial expressions. After all, without seeing each other, it is much more difficult to convey the feelings experienced. Developers of instant messaging programs, while improving their software characteristics, try to include and expand the function of eye expression, general facial expressions and various hand gestures. And, as practice shows, the demand for such programs like ICQ is very high. People are hungry for meaningful communication on the Internet as well. And the emergence of the function of video calls in cell phones and the installation of video equipment on a computer that allows one to communicate interactively, contemplating each other, is precisely the answer to the need for live communication at a remote distance.

Also, the look takes part in the expression of intimacy, frankness. With it, you can set the degree of proximity to a person.

In communication, the gaze, as a rule, carries out an informational search, for example, the listener looks at the speaker, and if he paused, silently waits for the continuation, without interrupting the eye contact; gives a signal about a free communication channel, for example, the speaker with an eye sign informs that the conversation is over; helps to establish and maintain social relationships when we are looking for a person's gaze to enter into a conversation.

In psychology, there are several types of views, each of which carries very significant information about a person's thoughts:

1) Business look - when we look at the forehead and eyes of the interlocutor. Often we behave this way when we meet with unfamiliar people, leaders and bosses.

2) Social gaze - when we direct our eyes to the area of ​​the person's face in the area of ​​the mouth, nose and eyes. It is typical in situations of easy communication with friends and acquaintances.

3) Intimate gaze - passes through the line of the interlocutor's eyes and falls to a level below the chin and neck to other parts of the body. There may be dilation of the pupils as an anticipation of pleasure.

It is more difficult for men to deceive their wives and girlfriends, since women can more quickly convict a lie by reading in the eyes. How do they do it? First of all, according to the characteristic changes in the eyes due to the contraction of the eye muscles. When trying to deceive, it is difficult for a person to withstand a gaze, he blinks and averts his eyes to the side. These signs can also be present with sadness, shame, and disgust. If he experiences suffering, tears flow from his eyes, but they also appear with laughter and joy.

In any case, for the correct interpretation of non-verbal gestures, we take into account the environment, the context of the circumstances. One thing is definitely certain: the dilation or constriction of the pupils, which arises as a response to arousal, occurs involuntarily, without taking into account consciousness, the autonomic nervous system is involved in this. If the direction of the gaze can still be somehow controlled, then the change in the pupils is beyond our control. When we talk about a person: “he has expressive eyes,” “she has an evil look,” “she jinxed me,” we mean just that information obtained through non-verbal communication when observing a person's pupils. Children abandoned by their parents have a dry, detached look filled with the pain of loneliness, which gives them an adult expression. On the contrary, beloved and affectionate babies look at the world in a completely different way.

The length of the gaze can indicate the degree of interest.

The intent, unbreakable will tell you about the intention to find out some information from you or force you to obey. For couples in love, such a look serves as a signal to begin active courtship. If a gaze is directed at a sleeping person, subconsciously he may experience anxiety, even wake up. Interestingly, in the animal world, a gaze serves as a signal for an impending attack, so there is nothing surprising when, feeling such a signal from an unfamiliar person, you feel anxiety and a desire to hide. With peripheral (lateral) vision, we are able to see objects and the environment around us, to analyze the degree of danger.

Serial killers and maniacs have a very different gaze from that of an ordinary person. All the behavior of a person prior to a given point in time, the situations that he solves and the methods he uses in eliminating problems - everything leaves an imprint on the expression of his eyes. A tired mother after a sleepless night with her baby, a pensioner living on crumbs, a student who did not receive the scholarship he hoped for - everyone has peculiar expressions in their eyes. If, for example, you are in a close relationship with such people, you will definitely understand the reason for this look.

Domination gestures

1. Palm gestures

The signal transmitted by a person's palm is one of the least noticeable and at the same time the most significant non-verbal signals. If used correctly, the power of the palm can give a person more authority and the ability to command others.

Exists three basic palm command gestures : palm up position, palm down position, and pointing finger position. The difference between these three positions can be seen in the following example: Let's say you need to ask someone to pick up a box and move it to another place in the room. Let's also assume that we will use the same words, speak them with the same tone of voice and with the same facial expression. Only the position of the palm will change.

Position open palm up - there is a confidential, non-threatening gesture, reminiscent of the begging gesture of a beggar on the street. The person we asked to move the box will not feel any pressure, and in the context of subordination, he will perceive it as a request from you.

When palm turned down , the gesture will immediately show a shade of superiority. The person to whom you have addressed your request will feel like they have received an order to move the box, and may even develop a sense of hostility towards you, depending on your relationship with them. For example, if this is your colleague in the same position as you, then he may not fulfill your request, but if you asked him with a different gesture, when the palm is looking up, then he would do it. If the person to whom you are addressing your request is your subordinate, then he will fulfill it without objection, because in this case you have the right to use this gesture. In fig. 6 depicts finger-indicating gesture. The fingers of the hand are clenched into a fist, and together with the exposed index finger, the whole configuration becomes like a kind of club, with which a person is forced into submission. The "pointing finger" gesture is one of the most annoying gestures used by a person in the process of speech, especially if it coincides in meaning with the spoken words. If you have a habit of pointing your finger, try to replace this gesture by changing the position of the palm up or face down.

2. Handshake

Shaking hands is a relic of the primitive era. When primitive people met, they stretched out their hands to each other with open palms forward for that. to show your disarmament. This gesture has undergone changes over time, and its modifications have appeared, such as waving a hand in the air, placing the palm on the chest, and many others. The modern form of this ancient welcoming ritual is that people stretch out their hands and shake them slightly, which is done in most English-speaking countries when greeting and saying goodbye. Usually, when shaking hands, the clasped hands are swayed 3 to 7 times.

Above, we talked about how, with the help of a different turn of the palm, you can give a gesture a dominant, dominant meaning. Consider now the meaning of these two palm positions for a handshake.

Let's say you meet a person for the first time and greet each other with a casual handshake. A handshake communicates one of three types of possible relationships. First - superiority : "This man is trying to put pressure on me. Better to be more careful with him." humility, compliance : "I can put pressure on this person. He will do as he please." Third - equality : "I like this man. We will get along well with him."

This information is transmitted unconsciously, but with a certain training and purposeful use of one or another handshake, you can have a direct impact on the outcome of your meeting with other people.

During domineering handshake the initiator's hand grasps another person's hand (in the figure, this hand is in a black cuff) in such a way that his palm is turned down (fig. 7) . It is not necessary that the arm is turned horizontally, but it is important that it is turned downward relative to the other person's arm. Thus, the initiator informs him that he wants to dominate in the process of communication with this person.

If a person wants to demonstrate obedience, then he uses the palm position turned upward. This handshake differs from a domineering handshake in that the initiator extends his hand with the palm facing up (Figure 7). This gesture is especially necessary in situations where they want to give the initiative to another person, or allow him to feel like the master of the situation.

However, it must be borne in mind that there may be circumstances in which the position of the palm upward will not necessarily be interpreted as a manifestation of submissiveness. For example, a person suffers from arthritis of the hands and therefore is forced to exchange a weak handshake, in these conditions it is very easy to force him to a submissive type of handshake.

Surgeons, entertainers, painters, and musicians, for whom sensitive hands are professionally important, usually exchange a lax handshake to protect their hands.

To fully determine a person's intentions, observe their subsequent behavior after greeting: a compliant person will be characterized by other gestures of compliance, and an overbearing person will show his aggressiveness.

When a handshake is exchanged two domineering people , between them there is a symbolic struggle, during which each tries to subjugate the hand of the other. The result is a handshake in which both hands remain upright and both people have a sense of respect and understanding for each other.

When a person greets you with an imperious handshake, it is difficult not only to persuade them to accept the compliant type of handshake, but also to do it in an imperceptible way. There is a simple method of "disarming" a powerful partner , which gives you the opportunity not only to regain the initiative, but also to puzzle another by intruding into his personal zone. To learn this method of disarming, you need to practice the following movements: when you take your hand, step forward with your left foot (Fig. 8). Then move your right leg forward and stand on the left in front of this person, moving forward and his personal area (Fig. 8). Then, to complete the maneuver, place your left foot behind your right and shake your partner's hand. This tactic allows you to align the position of the hands or turn the other person's hand into a compliant handshake and become the master of the situation, because you violated his intimate area.

Analyze your behavior during the handshake and observe which foot (right or left) you step forward with the moment you extend your hand. Most people do it with their right foot, and therefore are at a very disadvantage in the case of a dominant handshake, because they have little room and room to maneuver, and this allows the other to become the master of the situation. Practice moving towards your partner with your left foot, in this position it is much easier to neutralize the dominant handshake and take over in the relationship.

An important issue is also who exactly should be the first to offer a hand for a handshake. While it is generally accepted that it is necessary to shake hands when dating, there are some circumstances in which shouldn't be the first to reach out for a handshake. Considering that a handshake is a sign of hospitality, cordiality, you need to ask yourself a few questions before initiating a handshake: "How am I being greeted? Am I glad?" Sales agents are specially taught the rule - not to offer a handshake to a customer, whom they visited without an invitation and without prior agreement, because this can negatively affect the business, because the buyer may not be happy with you at all, and you force him to do what he does not want. Again, people with arthritis and people with gentle fingers can get into a defensive posture if you force your handshake on them. In this case, it is better to wait to see if the owner will offer his hands, and if not, then just nod his head in greeting.

There are several types of handshakes.

Dominant handshake - there is the most aggressive type of handshake, because it gives the person little chance of establishing a relationship of equal partnership. This type of handshake is typical for aggressive, domineering man , who is always the initiator of the handshake and the gesture of the hand with the palm facing down, makes the person obey, because he has to respond with the hand turned with the palm up.

There are several ways to handle a dominant handshake. You can use the above method based on a chain of steps, but sometimes it is difficult to apply because usually the hand of the author of the gesture is stiff and tense, which does not allow such a maneuver. A very simple way is clasp a person's hand on top of the wrist and then shake it (fig. 9). With this method, you become the master of the situation, because you take over the other person's hand, and since this can confuse the person with powerful intentions, we recommend using this handshake with certain precautions.

The next embracing gesture called "glove" , usually used by politicians. The author of this gesture tries to emphasize that he is honest and can be trusted, but if you use this gesture when meeting you, you can produce the opposite effect. The recipient will treat you with suspicion and caution in this case. This glove gesture should only be used in relation to people you know well .

Some handshakes might be like this impartial and unemotional it gives the impression that you are touching a dead fish, especially if your hand is cold and sticky. It is known that touching the lifeless, sluggish body of a dead fish leaves an unpleasant sensation, and people usually associate this with spinelessness a person, especially due to the fact that the hand of such a person is easy to press. It is striking that many people who have such a handshake do not know this, so it makes sense to ask your friends to describe your handshake before deciding which handshake to use in the future.

A firm handshake down to crunching fingers is a hallmark aggressive, tough person ... Unfortunately, there are limited ways to respond to such a handshake, so it's best to avoid it.

Shaking with an unbent, straight hand , like dominant, is a sign aggressive person. Its main purpose is to maintain a distance and prevent a person from entering his intimate zone. This handshake is also used to protect their privacy by people who grew up in rural areas and have a wider intimate area.

Shaking your fingertips resembles a squeeze with a straight, not bent hand, not completed to the end: instead of a hand, by mistake, only fingers are contained in the palm. Even if the initiator of the greeting is friendly towards the recipient, in fact, he is not confident in himself. As in the previous case, the purpose of this handshake is to keep your partner at a comfortable distance.

A handshake in which the initiator pulls the recipient's hand towards himself , can mean one of two things: or it insecure person feeling safe only inside his own personal area, or he belongs to a nation characterized by a narrower intimate zone, in which case he behaves normally.

Squeeze using both hands at once expresses sincerity, trust, or depth of feeling in relation to the recipient. Here it is necessary to pay attention to two essential points, Firstly : to convey the overflow of feelings that the initiator wants to express, the left hand is used, which is placed on the recipient's right hand. Degree this overcrowding will be expressed the place where the hand is laid ... For example, if the initiator's left hand grabs the partner's elbow "(Fig. 15), then this expresses more feeling than when grasping the wrist (Fig. 16). If the hand is placed on the shoulder (Fig. 17), then this expresses more feeling, than when it is on the forearm (Fig. 18). Secondly : the behavior of the initiator's left hand means a violation of the recipient's intimate and especially intimate areas. In general, grasping the wrist and shoulder is possible only between close friends, relatives, and only if the initiator's left hand penetrates only into the intimate area, without affecting a particularly intimate area.

A touch on the shoulder (fig. 17) or to forearm (Fig. 18) affects a particularly intimate area and can lead to convergence or touching of bodies. This is only possible between people experiencing a particularly emotional upsurge at the moment of the shake. If the feeling is not mutual, or if the initiator has no particular reason to greet with both hands, then the recipient may feel mistrust or suspicion about the initiator's intentions. It is common to see politicians greet their constituents with this gesture, or salespeople greet their clients with both hands, not realizing what it means to them political suicide or a ruined deal.

Spire-like hand position used frequently isolated from other gestures... Indeed, this gesture is often used by confident people, persons who occupy leadership positions, or people with limited body language. Using this gesture, they convey information to their self-confidence.

This gesture is very often used in conditions subordination and can be an isolated gesture denoting a confident or "all-knowing" attitude. Management people often use this gesture when giving orders or advice to their subordinates; it is very common among accountants, lawyers, managers and the like.

This gesture has two options; hands with a pin up (fig. 22) and hands with a pin down (fig. 23).

First position usually taken when the speaker expresses his opinion or expresses his ideas . Second position used when a person does not speak, but listens. Nirenberg and Kalero noticed that women were more likely to use the steeple down position than the up steeple position. When the speaker's head is tilted back with the spire upward , he has a touch of self-righteousness and arrogance.

While the steeple gesture is generally regarded as a positive signal, it can be used in both positive and negative circumstances and can therefore be misinterpreted. For example, a salesperson offering his product to a potential buyer may notice a series of positive gestures from a buyer during a negotiation. It can be bare palms, and an inclination forward, and a head raised up, etc. Let's say that at the end of the conversation, the client makes a steeple-like gesture.

If this gesture, in response to the agent's offer to give his decision, is followed by a series of positive gestures, the agent will receive a signal that it is possible to complete the negotiations, ask about the order and be sure that it will follow. On the other hand, if a steeple-like gesture (especially if it was made at the end of a product presentation) is followed by a series of negative gestures, such as crossing the arms over the chest, crossing the legs, running gaze and numerous gestures related to the manipulation of the hands on the face, then this indicates that the buyer has made a firm decision not to buy this product and wants to get rid of the selling agent. In both cases, "hairpin gesture" means self-confidence, but one has a positive meaning, and the other leads to negative consequences for the agent. The key to the correct interpretation of the steeple gesture will be the previous behavior of the person.

Accentuating the thumbs. Thumbs represent the strength of character and ego of the person, and non-verbal thumbs confirm this.

Extending thumbs hands talking about authority, superiority and even aggressiveness of a person (fig. 25). However, this gesture should be considered in conjunction with other gestures. Open thumbs are a positive signal. Often the gesture is present in the posture of a stern boss in society with his subordinates.

A man caring for a woman uses this gesture in her presence, and it is most typical for people dressed in formal and prestigious clothes.

People wearing attractive new clothes are more likely to use this gesture than people wearing outdated, outdated clothes.

The thumbs, denoting superiority, become even more eloquent gesture if a person speaks completely opposite words to the gesture. Take, for example, a situation where a lawyer, addressing the court in a soft, low voice, says: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. In my humble opinion ..." while his thumbs stand out and his head is arrogantly thrown back (Fig. 26) ... As a result, the jury will feel that the lawyer is insincere and even pompous. If he really wanted to appear modest, he would have to address in a completely different way: to take a step towards the court, unbuttoning his jacket, opening his palms and slightly lowering his gaze to express humility and humility.

Thumbs very often peep out of a person's pockets, sometimes even from the back pockets of trousers (Fig. 27), in order to hide the person's dominance in this situation. Women also use this gesture (fig. 28); in addition, lovers of this gesture often stand on tiptoe to become taller.

Another popular gesture is arms crossed on the chest with upright thumbs (fig. 29). This gesture conveys double beep - the first about a negative or defensive attitude (arms crossed) plus a sense of superiority (expressed by the thumbs). A person resorting to such a gesture usually plays with one or both fingers, swinging in heels is typical for a standing position.

Thumb Accent Gesture (fig. 30) is also used to express taunts or disrespecting the person being pointed with the thumb. For example, if a husband, referring to his friend, points at his wife with the thumb of his clenched hand and says: "These women ... they are all the same," then he provokes a quarrel with his wife. In this case, the gesture is used to ridicule the unfortunate woman. Accordingly, thumb pointing is annoying for most women, especially when it is done by men. This gesture is not typical for women, although sometimes they also use it in relation to people they do not like.

Laying hands behind the back. It has been observed that many men have the habit of walking with their heads held high, their chins out and their hands locked behind their backs (Fig. 31). In everyday life, this gesture is used by people in responsible positions. Therefore, it is considered a gesture. a confident person with a sense of superiority over others, or authoritarian posture ... This gesture allows a person with unconscious fearlessness to open their vulnerable areas of the body, such as stomach, heart, throat. This is how often policemen, customs officers, senior leaders, army sergeants stand in front of recruits.

If in particularly stressful situations (such as the state of the interviewee, waiting for an appointment at the dentist), you take this position, then you will feel less stressed and more confident.

The hand behind the lapel of the jacket. Another type of authoritarian posture is placing the hand behind the lapel or side of the jacket with emphasis on the thumb (Fig. 32). A person who has grabbed the side or lapel of a jacket in this way makes you know that he is confident and feels in charge. If you happen to see a person who folded his hands so that his thumbs are pointing up, his posture can be interpreted as defensive or denying what he heard (arms crossed) and at the same time dominant (thumbs pointing up).

Arms crossed on the chest. Social status influences the nature of the gesture associated with crossing the arms. A person holding more high social status , can emphasize his superiority by constantly keeping his arms crossed in the presence of the people just introduced to him (Fig. 33). Let's say that at a formal reception, the CEO has just been introduced to several new employees he didn't know before. Having greeted them with a dominant handshake, he moves away from them at the distance of the social zone, and holds his hands behind his back, placing them in a position typical for a boss (Fig. 31), or keeps one hand in his pocket. He's not keeping his arms crossed because he's nervous. New members of the company, on the other hand, shaking hands with the boss, will assume a fully or partially crossed position, because they are in the presence of a dignitary. Both the CEO and new hires feel comfortable performing certain gestures, since each demonstrates their social status relative to the other. But what happens if the CEO meets a young, promising department head who can even claim to be just as important in position as the CEO. In all likelihood, after both have exchanged an imperious handshake, the young administrator will fold his arms across his chest, placing his thumbs upright (Fig. 34). This defensive gesture is a modification of the gesture in which both thumbs of the arms stretched horizontally forward are placed upward, which indicates a person's confidence and self-control. When we throw our thumbs up, we show that we feel confident, and crossed arms give a sense of security.

Laying hands behind the head ... This gesture is typical for people in specialties such as accountants, lawyers, commercial managers, bank managers, or for confident people with a sense of superiority over others. If you could read their minds, you would read: "I know everything" or "Maybe someday you will be as successful as I am," or even: "I'm in control of the situation." This gesture is also typical of "know-it-alls", and many people get annoyed when someone demonstrates this gesture in front of them. Lawyers often use this gesture in their midst to show how knowledgeable they are. It can also be used as a territorial sign by which a person emphasizes that he has staked out this territory. The man in fig. 35, in addition to this gesture, crossed his legs in the form of the number "4", which indicates that he not only feels his superiority over others, but is also inclined to debate and argue.

There are several ways to interact with people who exhibit this gesture. It depends on your specific circumstances. If you want to find out the reason why the person is behaving with a sense of superiority, lean forward with outstretched palms and say, "I see that you know this. Could you comment on this problem." Then sit back in your chair, leave your palms in the field of view and wait for an answer.

On the other hand, if a person in the "hands behind the head" position makes you a remark or punishes you, you should not copy his gesture so as not to anger him. For example, two lawyers use this gesture in front of each other to emphasize their equality and consistency of actions, but a bully boy will anger the headmaster if he puts his hands behind his head in his office.

The nature of this gesture is unknown, but it is likely that the hands are used to form an imaginary chair in which the person sinks and relaxes.

In the process of researching this gesture, we found that in one insurance company, twenty-seven out of thirty managers regularly demonstrated this gesture in the presence of their subordinates - insurance agents, but rarely put their hands behind their heads in the presence of superiors. In their presence, the same managers used a set of submissive, submissive and protective gestures.

If the thumb and forefinger are smoothing the mustache towards the corners of the mouth or, if there is no mustache, - the upper lip, which means that you are being shown their superiority: “I know that better. I have something to say! " In short, "we ourselves with a mustache."