- Most often, a person, learning about his difficult diagnosis or the diagnosis of his loved ones, falls, if not into panic, then at least into some confusion. What is the right way to treat the news about your illness or the illness of loved ones?
The question is posed in this way - what does it mean to treat correctly and incorrectly, that is, one can treat the disease in different ways. Correctly - I will say theoretically - you need to treat with understanding, humility, carefully objectively reflecting, not getting nervous. This list can be continued. However, after all, no one will treat their illness that way, because it is a powerful emotional blow, dramatically, radically changing a situation to which a person has not yet adapted. And in this case, in my opinion, the most correct thing would be not to panic.
Again, it's good to say “don't panic”; sounds like some kind of good wish. But we will understand the danger of panic if we turn to social psychology. When a person is in a similar state, he understands little, thinks more with emotions - and usually with lower emotions (fear, horror, attempts to escape, etc.). The damage from these emotions is much greater than from the source of the panic.
That is why, for example, they shot the alarmists on the ship - this managed to save the rest of the crew. After all, if the whole crew is in a panic, then for the ship this is inevitable death without a fight. And now the captain of a ship, including a passenger ship, has the right to end the panic in this way.
It is known from the history of war that when a panicky, disorderly retreat begins, units lose ten times more personnel than if the soldiers remained in the trenches and continued the defense. This was the reason for the creation of detachments during the Great Patriotic War. The detachments skillfully stopped the panic, thanks to which hundreds of thousands of people were saved.
So, when a person is confronted with an illness, he usually has an emotional reaction, extremely sharp, that is, part of his logic is “turned off” - a person cannot understand the situation logically, it has changed too abruptly, and only the emotional sphere remains, which begins to dominate. And this is very dangerous. To save yourself from this trap - panic, you can enter into a relatively normal state, firstly, by listening to others. Secondly, without drawing scary pictures. After all, usually a sick person draws the most terrible picture in his imagination and begins to be afraid of it. Still, for example, there is no diagnosis, there is a suspicion of a particular disease; there is no established diagnosis, but the person has already inflamed his imagination, he painted such a picture of this disease, and, most importantly, even if it is confirmed, there are certain methods of treatment. And then often a person does not understand what the speech is about, what methods of treatment exist, how this will all happen and that everything is in the hands of God, but he paints to himself that there is no salvation, everything is lost, everything is lost, he paints this picture for himself and then real panic begins. In this state, a person is not able to adequately perceive information, find the right methods of treatment, consult with someone, find a professional specialist - that is, do what is needed. This, one might say, is panic turning into hysteria, which, by the way, applies not only to the patients themselves, but very often to their relatives.
Soberness is very important and necessary here; we need a check by objective facts of what is happening now. Or as St. Theophan the Recluse on sobriety: "Sobriety is the standing of the mind near the heart." And if the mind is at the door of emotions, it is good, but if not, it is tragic, and a person can do himself a lot of harm. Of course, this provision applies not only to the onset of the disease, but also to all intermediate stages, how patients panic before a new examination, before changing the treatment regimen. All this every time spurs on panic, hysterical states. And this very badly affects the treatment itself, the relationship with doctors, family relationships, etc.
Thus, panic causes direct harm to the sick person.
- What is a disease for a person, if we consider it not from a physiological, but from a spiritual and psychological point of view.
From a psychological point of view, illness is an expansion of one's own capabilities; from a religious point of view, it is a path, a new stage in life. It's like in a computer game - when you go to a new level, it is more difficult than the previous one. Illness in the spiritual sense is a transition to a new, more complex level. Just being a spiritual person when you are doing well can teach others at this time. And when things aren't going so well for you, this is where your real potential comes in.
- I don't want to teach others ...
- What tasks does the disease pose to a person?
The task of growth, that is, a person in illness faces the same task as before his entire life. And in general, if there was a task of physical growth, then it would not make sense, because our physical life will end anyway. In this case, of course, there is a task of spiritual growth, although often in illness, some grow, while others stop growing and fall. One person, for example, fell ill - began to think about others, to look for the meaning of life; and another person in the same situation - not to be confused with a short-term stage of aggression - murmurs against God.
- And what to do if a person's stage of murmuring continues for several years without stopping?
I am aware of similar cases. It is difficult, first of all, for the sick person himself. But not in all cases “murmuring” can be called a spiritual fall. This murmur - the murmur of Job (Lord, everything is unfair) - allows a person to even grow spiritually in relation to people. After all, this spiritual component is added to the disease that a person has, and the disease thus multiplies. A person's condition can be described as tragic without fear of thickening the colors: the emerging spiritual illness, murmur, does not allow a person to get out of the pit of despondency, forcibly leaves him in obsessive thoughts, which are all spinning and spinning, giving no way out ... I repeat: this is an extremely tragic situation.
When I worked at the Oncology Center, I met one person. He grumbled and grumbled all the time, and in the last week of his life he suddenly ceases to grumble with lightning speed and, it seems to me, reaches incredible, transcendent, incomprehensible heights.
- And what helped people like this person to get out of the state of murmur?
It is necessary to consider each case separately, it is abstractly difficult to say what helped them. Maybe they were helped by the fact that they did not try to keep what the person is not able to hold - I mean health. After all, the murmur begins when you try to hold on to something that cannot be held (attempts to “hold on to the unrestrained”). There are many examples from life can be cited: for example, a cart has gone downhill and it is impossible to hold it, and a person is trying with all his might, but his attempts will not be crowned with success, because the cart with its gravity still has more strength. And so a person abandons his vain attempts and lets go of the cart ... and suddenly he feels free, feels a kind of liberation, which allows him to instantly take wings and take off. That is, a person who has ceased to struggle and grumble in vain feels inner relief and release in illness.
Returning to the question - about the tasks that the disease poses to a person, we can say that any task, or rather its solution, puts a person one step higher. And the disease in this case is no exception.
- Sometimes it turns out that friends turn away from a sick person, since friendship with him requires effort. How to relate to this phenomenon?
If friends turned away in trouble, then such were the friends. If your jeans dissolve during the first wash, then they were paper, that is, they cannot be called jeans. These are well-made "jeans-like" paper pants. It's the same with all surrogates. Friends - let's just say - this is the highest degree of reliability. Naturally, it happens that a person in illness begins to make a huge number of demands, in connection with which they simply cease to be understood. And they are afraid to bother him once again, because in response to this, the patient gives out condemnation, abuse, aggression, which is not useful for him and those around him. Such cases do happen. Sometimes even true friends cannot understand the anger, irritation or depression that the patient is experiencing and showing; turn out to be not ready for this. It must be understood that not everyone is sufficiently prepared for this, especially in our time, when people are accustomed to enjoying life more than to sympathize and empathize with those who are sick and who feel bad. After all, the patient's condition can be understood if you study, for example, medicine and you know what kind of suffering causes a person's illness, or if you yourself have gone through suffering.
But not always, if friends are a little distant, it means that they abandoned their sick friend. Although such cases, unfortunately, are also not uncommon. If friends were really united by friendship, then a step aside is possible, but only a step and only for a while, because the basis of friendship remained, that is, mutual understanding, mutual support, common interests, etc. - that which is the core of friendship. And if they were united, for example, by drinking, joint empty pastime, receiving dubious pleasures, non-binding communication, etc., then, naturally, then people can no longer communicate on this basis. Because a sick person is bound by his illness, he has no time for this and, as a rule, he communicates on completely different topics. And it turns out that friendship was built on the wrong foundation, and at the first test its building collapsed. But is it worth it to grieve that the relationship with a person who was not a friend for you, but just a pastime friend, broke up?
- A sick person, in addition to the very fact of the disease, has to face many difficulties and problems. Some seriously ill patients, for example, become much more dependent on relatives than before, others are lonely and they themselves have to somehow provide for themselves and take care of themselves. In this regard, the question is how to relate to this loneliness and, accordingly, the accompanying problems ...
Before addressing the question, I would like to make two comments. First, all of us humans are, by definition, lonely. But - and this is the second - it is appropriate and ethical to speak out about this kind of loneliness to those who have experienced it ... You see, we must "mature at the root", return to the basis of our conversation. If you look at it, both illness and loneliness are the path, the path to growth, as we have already said. Disease opens up a certain path to growth. It is tragic, it is difficult, but the fact remains: it really opens up ... That is, it is a very difficult task assigned to a person. And loneliness in a sick person is a much more difficult task.
- Especially when a person does not have the strength to get to the store, and his refrigerator is empty, the food has run out ...
This makes the task very difficult. But I must say that, after all, we are not the first to face these tasks, are we? .. That, unfortunately, this has always been present, although before, of course, people's attitude to each other was much better and rarely remained completely helpless and completely alone, because this was contrary to Christian, Muslim and other life and religious customs and foundations of the peoples who lived in Russia. At this stage, however, this is indeed a much more difficult task. But to console the sick, we can say that God entrusted them with the solution of a difficult task, which means they are spiritually strong and strong people. Anyone can solve a simple problem, but a difficult one ... So what if, for example, a fifth-grader solved the problem for the first grade? Another thing is the reward that awaits the fifth grader who solved the problem for the tenth grade. The cost of solving this problem is very high. And the reward is great. And the possibilities are great. Of course, a fifth-grader may not want to solve the problem given to him, because it is difficult and will have to strain his strength, but if it is not solved, there will be no further growth and advancement. So you will mark time. With regard to a sick person, this means: you are already sick, you are in certain conditions, so it means that you still have to solve this problem. And it is better for you, for your spiritual and physical condition, to accept everything as it is and to treat the disease as a task and solve it without entering into an argument with the Teacher who gave this task ...
- So in what way can a sick person solve the task set before him?
Realizing that he is not just like that, he does not suffer in vain. On the one hand, it is impossible to make loneliness non-loneliness. But on the other hand, you can treat your loneliness differently, take a more active position. Now there are many opportunities for this - the Internet, various forums of interest, including those for people with disabilities. In addition, you need to understand what kind of loneliness is present in the life of a sick person. Sometimes loneliness is "quantitative", when a person until a certain moment had a close environment, but suddenly it disappeared somewhere, disappeared. Sometimes - and this is more common - loneliness is "qualitative", that is, a person surrounded by other people feels lonely, it seems to him that he, his problems are not interested, and so on. This happens, as a rule, from the fact that a person does not have the skills to communicate with other people. If he somehow rejects them, pushes them away, offends, then in the end he remains alone and without help.
These two states must always be separated. And learn to develop communication skills. To do this, you need to be more tolerant of other people, to understand their problems, which is extremely important for a person in illness, who ceases to see the problems of other people behind his problems. Very often this happens to grandmothers, who require constant attention to themselves, all the time they say that they are lonely like a finger, they complain that their daughter comes to them only three times a week. And for a daughter who has several children, it’s hard to go to the hospital three times a week to visit her mother ... And the grandmother is concentrated on herself, and believes that she is lonely, although this is not at all the case.
- Often a person, not only at the initial stage, but also being in an illness for a long time, hears the words: "hold on, fight ..." Why and why fight?
Good question. Why and for what to fight or how to relate to these words? .. Hold on, fight, you and I are empty words ... These are like communist slogans - I remember they have not acted lately.
- What have you done to be with a person ...
What to fight for? What to fight with? With illness? How to deal with it? If you say "Fight!", Then explain how to deal with it ... I understand, the doctor can say: "Fight the disease like this, here's the cure for you," right? Well, that makes sense. And just a pat on the shoulder - hold on, fight, you and I - no, instead of saying some general phrases, you'd better say something from your heart.
In general, to fight is when how ... After all, there is no universal disease. One ailment can be overcome, but the other cannot be overcome, because it is stronger. Sometimes all efforts are given to this struggle, which cannot be won, precious time is wasted on it, which could have been used for something completely different and much more reasonable.
Everything is so subtle here ... General, universal advice cannot be given. Say: "Resign yourself!" - and some will understand this as a guide to action, or maybe they are the ones who need to fight to improve their condition. Say: "Fight!" - those who do not need to fight will begin to fight with their last bit of strength.
If the fight is reasonable, then the fight should be for the quality of life, for recovery, so that the time gained from the disease can be used for good deeds. After all, there are people who spend the time allotted to them on partying drunks, etc.
- They want to "come off" at last ...
Yes, to "come off" at last ... And then sometimes you think: is it good for a person that he has this time - he only makes himself worse. He destroys his soul in this way ...
- Sometimes sick people are tempted to give in to emotions and put an end to their future. Is this correct or is it still necessary to continue professional development or study, if the state allows it?
Well, which of the patients can know exactly what will happen? .. After all, life is a path. It turns out like this: you just have to go a little - stop eating. You don't need energy anymore, do you? But we do not know to whom how much is allotted. Therefore, as long as we live, we must move as much.
- And science does not stand still.
Yes. Well, if you stop eating now and you can stop doing a lot of things, in fact, it turns out that life is still long and so on. Naturally, I think no one would ever think of calling on a person who is already on his deathbed or in intensive care to go to the institute. Here the answer is already obvious. But as for such options when a person is sick - after all, through the knowledge that you receive, through communication with people with whom you will communicate, through the work on which you will work - your personality, your soul will develop, as is the meaning of our life. And if a person refuses this, it turns out that he refuses spiritual growth. And this, in my opinion, is wrong. And what no one can know exactly when and who will be There, will go into that life ... You know, we all may not live to see the next day. Some atomic bomb will explode and that's it ...
- Or a banal brick on the head.
Well, a brick for one head, but a bomb for all. Or some kind of catastrophe will happen on a global scale. And that's all. Then is it really worth studying at all? Why study, even if healthy? They're going to die anyway, right?
- It remains to be seen who has left to live longer!
It is completely unknown! Here a person thinks I will do this and that, he has plans for the year ahead. And he got out and his car hit, a brick fell on his head. You may ask - why did you study? After all, the ending is known for everyone, for everyone it is common: we will all die.
Therefore, it is impossible to pose the question like that. As long as we live, as long as there is a slightest prospect, it is better for a sick person to adhere to the following rule: to work, but so that the work does not harm the treatment; learning, but not allowing learning to interfere with treatment. The question of the necessity / necessity of work, study in a state of illness must be approached sensibly and rationally, and it must be understood that this or that may be useful for growth. Especially if it has the correct vector.
The cross is our wings
"Raise their wings like eagles"
(Is 40:31)
There is a poetic legend about how birds were created. Beautiful feathers adorned these lovely creatures, they had a wonderful voice and were filled with a ringing song, but, alas, they could not soar in the distant air, since they did not have wings. Then the Lord God created wings; pointed at them to the birds and said: "Take this burden and carry it on you." The birds looked with bewilderment and fear at this unfamiliar burden; then they obediently took it with their beak, put it on themselves, and it seemed very difficult for them to carry it. But soon, as they pressed them to themselves, the wings grew to these little creatures, and the birds learned to use them. Spreading them out, they rose high above the ground. So the burden turned into wings. Instead of being heavier, the birds acquired a new, unknown ability to fly.
This legend has a spiritual meaning. We are all birds without wings, and the trials and responsibilities that the Lord sends us should teach us to rise above everything earthly. We look at our worries as a heavy burden, but when we understand that the Lord is sending them to us to teach us to rise higher, we will receive them from Him. And what? They turn into wings and carry us to the sky, and without them we, perhaps, would have grown to this wretched land. They, lifting up our soul, turn into a blessing. Moving away from the fulfillment of duty, avoiding the burden sent to us, we lose the opportunity for spiritual development. Let us resolve to bear our burdens firmly, trusting in the Lord, and let us remember that He wants to turn them into wings. Higher and higher these wings will carry us until we reach the place "where the bird finds its dwelling at Thy altars, O Lord of hosts, my King, and my God" (Psalm 83: 4)
Alcoholism is a misfortune that often comes to many homes. This is the scourge of our time. No one is immune from this misfortune. Alcoholism can become chronic and addictive. Moreover, neither social status nor material condition can affect the development of this dependence. Alcoholism does not choose who stands in front of it. Most often, alcohol addiction "settles" in men. The main questions are: “If the husband is an alcoholic, what should a woman do? Advice from whom to take? Where to go for help? Or part with him forever? What is the right way to behave in such a difficult life situation? Can you get rid of the torment? What do psychologists and doctors say about this? " Let's talk in more detail.
Feature of alcoholism
The addiction to alcohol in some people is so strongly developed that the usual appearance of life becomes blurred and all meaning in it is lost. For avid alcoholics, the only goal in life is to find another dose of alcohol.
Doctors equate alcohol addiction with a complex pathological disease. The treatment will be long. The drunkard is prevented from recovering on his own by the "mask" in his head, which again and again causes an unbridled urge to continue to drink.
With alcoholism, a person completely loses self-control and becomes powerless in front of a bottle of vodka. The alcoholic is not able to adequately perceive the external environment. As a result, the awareness of the problem in oneself, which can lead to death, does not occur.
If the problem has developed into a chronic stage, then there is a small chance that the person will be able to stop himself. You can get out of this deadly web if you fully master the information about the features of the disease and methods of treatment.
The first thing you need to know: alcohol is a unique poison that destroys all internal organs of a person.
Secondly, alcoholism is a fatal disease that occurs against the background of systematic alcohol abuse.
Alcoholism is a chronic illness that develops throughout life. If you identify the problem and start treatment in the early stages, you can avoid serious complications and completely heal.
If a person says to himself: “I am an alcoholic: what should I do?”, Then this is the first step on the way to correction and normal life. This is the first victory over oneself, but scanty. Desire is not enough.
Causes
It should start with finding out the causes of the development of the disease. Some people mistakenly believe that the cause of alcoholism is a wrong lifestyle, weak will and a bad example in front of their eyes. However, these are only auxiliary factors, the true problems are deeper.
Psychological premise
Most often, the psychological factor plays almost the main role when a person takes a glass. Some of the common psychological problems of alcoholics:
- own powerlessness in the fight against depression;
- inability to cope with stress;
- inability to eliminate negative emotions.
These contingent factors are found in every person in life, without exception. However, in such situations, people behave differently: some will save themselves with a glass of vodka, while others will not even have a thought about alcohol in their heads.
Psychologists identify the following reasons that push a person to "make friends" with alcohol:
- hidden complexes;
- unstable psycho-emotional background;
- unresolved problems come from childhood.
Environment, emotional instability, external negative factors only affect the development of alcoholism.
Many people believe that the reason for drunkenness is banal boredom. It is impossible to completely reject this assumption and disagree. Indeed, it happens. However, there is a deeper problem in boredom: understanding one’s uselessness, loneliness, and uselessness. When a person cannot decide on the main occupation of his life, then gradually his own significance and self-esteem are lost. He finds comfort in a glass.
Psychologists believe that the most effective way in the fight against alcohol addiction is the competent organization of their way of life and leisure. The richer life is, the less chances you have to embark on the destructive path called "I am an alcoholic." "What should I do?" - we will try to answer this question further.
Hereditary factor
For a long time, doctors have established that the fight against alcohol dependence must begin with consideration of the factor of heredity. The origins of alcoholism are laid at the genetic level. However, even in this case, you can say goodbye to alcohol addiction.
Alcohol addiction often develops in young adolescents with an unsettled psyche. At their age, the opinion of others plays a huge role. Here, in many respects, the wine is television and not only advertisements for alcoholic beverages. According to statistics, it was noted: as soon as there was an active advertising of alcohol, the growth in sales increased. Frequent buyers are young people.
Parents and relatives should protect from the sad development of events. It is important to provide warmth, support and understanding in the family. And if the authority of the parents for a young alcoholic is weak, then the chance of being in a bad company, in which alcohol is on the “you”, increases significantly.
The trouble with alcohol doesn't come alone. Many factors precede it. If a child is not taught from the cradle to morality, morality, ethics, a healthy lifestyle, then such a misfortune will come to your home. If your child has such a terrible problem, then treatment by a narcologist and psychologist is simply necessary.
Stressful situations
The suffered severe stress is one of the main reasons for the development of alcoholism. Psychologists have separately identified the following main stress factors that push a person to embark on this terrible path:
- betrayal of loved ones;
- bankruptcy, loss of finances;
- loss of hope and purpose in life;
- death of a loved one.
Without the support of loved ones in such a difficult time for a person, not everyone is able to drown out the existing pain on their own. Many find the necessary support in alcohol and gradually become drunkards. To return a person to a normal life, he needs strong motivation. In this case, you cannot do without outside help.
What are the characteristics of alcoholism?
- Expressed desire to drink a "strong" drink: a person begins to get nervous if he does not find alcohol in the house. Even temporarily abstaining from use can cause severe irritation.
- Loss of self-control: The typical alcoholic does not feel euphoric about a small dose of "taken to the soul". Every day the dose of the "cherished" consumed ethanol is increasing.
- The gag reflex is lost: a healthy body responds to intoxication with vomiting or nausea. If such natural reflexes are absent in a person, then this should alert. In this case, we can safely talk about addiction and dependence at the physiological level.
- Long-term hangover: the alcoholic practically does not come out of this state. A hangover habit arises. For him, tremors, joint aches, muscle weakness and severe migraines become the norm.
Withdrawal syndrome is expressed in withdrawal symptoms, similar to narcotic. This syndrome occurs when an alcoholic does not take his usual dose of alcohol. Against the background of such a dangerous condition, human health deteriorates, namely:
- cardiovascular diseases develop;
- the work of the brain is disrupted;
- there is a problem in the functioning of the central nervous system;
- cirrhosis of the liver develops.
If what to do in this case? Let's talk about this further.
Female alcoholism
Female alcoholism is different from male alcoholism. It develops faster than male. According to statistics, for every 100 male alcoholics there are 50 women who have alcohol dependence. In a short period of time, a woman experiences mental degradation and her internal organs are rapidly destroyed.
Most often, women are exposed to this dependence at a young and middle age. Moreover, socially successful women often get drunk alone. Main reasons:
- betrayal of a loved one;
- violence;
- loss of a loved one;
- emotional breakdown;
- combining career and family building.
Alcohol addiction can develop not only in successful women, but also in housewives. So they try to dispel a boring way of life, filled with everyday life, lack of demand, unrealization in life.
In modern society, female alcoholism is treated more negatively than male alcoholism. Men who are alcoholics are treated, but they turn away from them.
The diagnosis of "female alcoholism" is made by a narcologist on the basis of anamnesis, a survey and tests for the alcohol content in physiological fluids.
If a woman is an alcoholic, what to do? First of all, contact a narcologist. The optimal treatment option is long-term rehabilitation in a special clinic.
Aggressive alcoholic: what to do?
If a woman lives with an aggressive alcoholic, then their relationship resembles a fight without rules. The woman voluntarily agrees to be a participant in this battle. Often such a fight justifies the comparison used. Often, a conflict with an aggressive alcoholic ends with the use of physical force. As you can imagine, the score is not in favor of the woman.
Often, wives do not leave aggressive alcoholic husbands, because they depend on them financially. They have a fear of independent independent living. As payment for finances - rudeness, cruelty, ridicule, humiliation, violence.
An alcoholic in the house: what to do if there is nowhere to go? The husband came drunk and aggressive. The action plan is as follows:
- Ignore insults from him.
- Answer his questions calmly and try to direct the dialogue in a peaceful direction.
- Switch your attention to himself. For example, pay attention to his dirty clothes: “You are all dirty until you get there. Take off your clothes, I will wash quickly. "
- You can offer him another drink. Many women do this to buy time and leave the house.
- Shock therapy. By pouring cold water on a drunken man, a woman will gain some time to quickly leave the house.
To avoid a scandal with possible consequences, adhere to the "NOT" rules:
- do not humiliate the alcoholic;
- do not buy his own alcohol or give money for it;
- do not take away alcohol, interfering with his drink;
- do not show your weakness and fear.
Remember, your personal safety comes first. Don't be manipulated by an aggressive alcoholic. The destruction of your life by living with an alcoholic will then happen slowly but surely.
Remaining to live with an alcoholic under the same roof means constantly walking on the edge of a knife. If the husband is an alcoholic, what should a woman do? Psychologists immediately identify a number of problems faced by his wife:
Each time, seeing her husband drunk, and if he is also aggressive, raises his hand, then the woman gradually comes up with a plan of revenge in her head. It's good if she chooses the "leave" option. And it also happens that in a fit of anger he can kill him?
If there is an alcoholic in the family, what to do? Often, psychologists assume possible consequences for this question, after hearing which, a woman finds a way out of a difficult situation.
- Children who live with an alcoholic father, growing up, have serious intimate problems. Often they associate their lives with the same as their father: with alcoholics or drug addicts.
- The children of an alcoholic have low self-esteem and constant depression.
- A volcano of restrained aggression accumulates in the souls of children. They have an inner emptiness, loss, doom, uselessness, because they do not receive proper attention from their parents. The mother fights with the alcoholic father for his treatment, and the father himself does not care about his children.
Why did you give examples of problems with children? It is important for every mother that their children are healthy, both physically and mentally.
The surest decision is to leave your alcoholic husband forever, without returning. Staying and waiting a little longer is not an option. What to expect? Until he turned his wife or children into cripples? If the husband is an alcoholic, what to do? A woman should not be given advice to others. A woman must come to a decision herself - to leave or stay.
How to deal with alcohol addiction? The ways
The best option: complex therapy, which includes drug treatment and psychological assistance.
Treatment of alcohol dependence is carried out only if the patient completely refuses to drink alcohol. Alcohol should not be consumed at least 12 days before the start of therapy.
Possible ways to combat addiction:
- Self-denial.
- Without the knowledge of the patient. When a person is addicted to alcohol, then gradually his psyche is destroyed. The patient is unable to accept the obvious problem. Then relatives resort to various methods of treatment, including folk.
- Compulsory treatment is resorted to at the chronic stage of the disease, when a person cannot solve his problem with alcohol on his own. We need professional long-term therapy in a narcological dispensary.
Most often, the last method of treatment is resorted to by close relatives, whose soul is torn for an alcoholic.
Drug treatment
Doctors immediately prepare the patient's body to take the prescribed drugs. Such manipulations are carried out:
- a dropper is placed;
- antidepressants are prescribed to alleviate withdrawal symptoms;
- in case of withdrawal symptoms - antipsychotics;
- preparations for cleaning the body of alcohol residues.
Antipsychotics are prescribed as a last resort.
Psychotherapeutic treatment
Alcohol addiction is also a psychological problem. There are four effective methods of psychotherapeutic treatment:
- hypnosis;
- emotional cognitive therapy (control over your own emotions);
- Ericksonian therapy (a session with a psychotherapist, in which the patient himself comes to the answer to his question: "I am an alcoholic, what should I do?"
Alcoholics Anonymous is a worldwide organization that helps millions of alcoholics to get rid of addiction at any stage of the disease.
Group activities include emotional support for each other and other methods of psychological therapy.
Coding
If an alcoholic does not want to be treated, what to do? Many women trick their man into coding. Medicamentous type of coding is considered the safest. The psychological form of coding (hypnosis) is controversial among doctors. In this case, the risk of unexpected physiological effects increases.
In modern medicine, there is a laser At the moment, this type of coding is considered the safest procedure for the physical and psychological health of an alcoholic.
It is imperative that when treating addiction, the patient must be surrounded by support and care. Throw away all the "stashes" and bottles of alcohol so that the alcoholic does not break loose.
As soon as a person asked the question: “I am an alcoholic, what should I do?”, You need to look for the cause of the development of the disease. Get rid of the cause and the urge to drink will disappear. Don't waste your time. Professional assistance in a drug dispensary will speed up the treatment process.
Modern oncology has a complex system of measures for the therapeutic effect on a malignant tumor of the mammary glands. But no treatment will be effective without striving for the recovery of the person himself.
Self-help methods. rules of conduct in the hospital, communication with doctors, ways to change thinking.
First of all, you must believe in your healing and your strength! Faith and activity in treatment is the key to your success. It is important to remember all the time that you are not fighting against cancer, but FOR yourself, your life. This is a more comprehensive and broader approach to the rehabilitation process after an illness. Without your active participation, it will be much more difficult for doctors to defeat the tumor. It is in your power to help yourself and your body!
Psychologists and oncologists also say: treatment is not only the elimination of the tumor itself, but also serious work on oneself, a revision of the lifestyle, old habits and rules. To win this battle, you will have to learn to think in new ways. This means that after consulting a doctor, it is advisable to revise many familiar things and approach the treatment in a comprehensive manner. This approach includes:
- fighting the tumor using all the advanced medical technologies;
- elimination or minimization of provoking factors that contribute to the emergence and growth of cancer cells. Changes in diet and giving up bad habits, smoking and overeating are inevitable;
- taking care of yourself. It is recommended to do feasible physical therapy and breathing exercises. Do not forget about relaxation and, which is especially important, to address your psychological problems. All this will help to concentrate one's strength and successfully fight against the disease.
Numerous studies and medical statistics have convincingly proved that psychological help and comprehensive support for your body greatly facilitates the process of treating women. When a person is in a state of fear and stress, the stress hormonal background begins to prevail in the body, which creates an additional load on all body systems. Therefore, there is an additional negative effect on the body, which greatly depletes the immune system.
Seemingly simple methods of psychological self-help and support significantly increase the number of active defense cells. The woman’s mood changes, the stressful hormonal background disappears, and as a result, the supply of vitality and the ability to resist, and therefore to recover, grows.
Experienced doctors have also revealed the following: positive thoughts, good mood and an optimistic perception of the treatment process increase the activity of the body's defenses. While fear, sadness, depression or prolonged stress drain the vitality and defenses, reducing the psychophysiological resources of the patient. But if in modern life it is completely impossible to eliminate stress, then changing your reaction to it is quite a feasible task.
So, psychological work on oneself is ...
- Dealing with your behavior.
- Working with your thinking.
- Setting adequate goals for every day and for the future.
- Reassessing your values in life.
Self-help methods
- Fostering self-love. Establishing contact with yourself and your needs.
- Overcoming negative states - resentment, fear and anxiety. These states take away strength, paralyze, interfere with rational thinking and find a way out of a difficult situation, and also deplete the body's defense mechanisms.
- Increase resilience to stress by changing behavior and thinking that will help reduce the impact of the stressor.
Changing behavior and thinking
Even the ancient sages knew this secret: "If you want to change your life, change yourself through your thoughts." Our thoughts shape our worldview, actions, and, consequently, our life. By maintaining a good mood and a positive attitude, you can support your body during and after treatment. Start small. Think about how you can create a good mood for yourself today, in these difficult circumstances. Remember: you are responsible for your mood, your physical condition, doctors only create conditions for your struggle with medical methods of treatment and drugs. Always tell yourself: cancer is not a death sentence, it is a reason to change and change your life. Believe in it with all your soul, and you will definitely succeed. Remember that a lot depends on you.
Help your body recover!
Rules to help during and after treatment
- Get all information about the disease and treatment only from doctors. Don't listen to "hospital horrors" from neighbors in line or in the ward. What happened to someone does not mean at all that it will also happen to you. All people are unique, each organism is unique. Therefore, there is no need to try on someone else's experience, especially negative. Negativity destroys your health, taking away strength and depressing your immunity.
- Get ready to meet with doctors. A doctor is both a source of stress and a source of hope for you, and when stressed, people do not concentrate well. Therefore, write a list of questions to the doctor that you would like to receive answers to.
- In the hospital, try to communicate with patients who remain optimistic and support your faith in the effectiveness of treatment and your strength.
- Try to maintain a sincere and open relationship with family and friends during and after treatment. They will become your support during this difficult time. Learn to share your feelings, do not be alone with your fears. Remember that shared grief is no longer grief.
- Shift your focus to the positive. A funny picture or a postcard placed in a prominent place can help you with this, which will catch your eye, stopping the disturbing stream of thoughts and "pulling" you out of the negative. Always praise yourself and say thank you to yourself when you manage to cope with such conditions.
- Look for something good, beautiful and interesting in any setting. For example, they brought you flowers: consider each flower, leaf, absorb its wonderful energy. As the Japanese say, "beauty exists in small things." If you go outside, look around and you will definitely find something that brings joy.
- Try as much as possible to do things that are pleasant for you: read interesting books, listen to pleasant music, watch your favorite films.
- Be proactive. Remember what you really wanted to do, but did not get your hands on it or did not have enough time. At the hospital, write a list of where you would like to go, what new things you would like to learn, with whom to meet. So you say to your subconscious: "I am interested in living, I am happy with life, I want to live, and I will cope with the disease!"
- Love yourself, make small accessible "joys" for yourself every day. Take a walk, do feasible physical activity, eat right, live a rich and interesting life. Don't put off taking care of yourself until later, don't ignore your need for relaxation. Learn to listen and hear your body.
Self-help methods
Help your body overcome illness
Psychotherapeutic methods to help cope with pain and other discomfort during treatment.
Cancer treatment is associated with many unpleasant sensations and side effects, such as dizziness, nausea, pain, increased blood pressure, etc. But you need to overcome all of this in order to defeat the disease and destroy the tumor.
These exercises will help you cope with the unpleasant manifestations of the treatment and make it easier to tolerate them.
Exercise 1.
Start by slowly sinking into a calm and relaxed state. Close your eyes, focus on your breathing. You need to breathe deeply, slowly and naturally. At a slow pace, count from 10 to 1, sinking deeper into a relaxed state with each number.
Imagine the light of any color you like in the form of a bright sphere, which, gradually expanding, fills the entire space of the room. Then the sphere shrinks to its previous size, until it shrinks to 1 cm. Then you need to imagine, if it turns out, that this light is your pain. Expand this sphere again to the boundaries of the room, and then try to mentally contract it to 1 cm and remove it from the body through the exhalation outward. Imagine this little dot dissolving into thin air. You can do the same for nausea.
Exercise 2.
Immerse yourself in a relaxed state in any of the ways described above.
After complete relaxation, imagine an image of pain or nausea, the subconscious mind itself will tell you what it looks like. After that, try in your imagination to modify this image for a more pleasant one for you. For example, if pain appears to you as a porcupine with large needles, then try to transform the image into a hedgehog with small needles, feed it from a saucer, then the image of a live hedgehog into a toy hedgehog stuffed toy, then into a soft little ball. Squeeze this ball mentally to a small size of 1 cm and try to remove it from the body in any way. Open your eyes, listen, praise yourself for coping with the unpleasant condition.
Our mind and body are one, and a powerful medicine that is always with us is imagination. Fight illness with imagination and relaxation.
Scientists have proven the effectiveness of relaxation and visualization techniques in treating even the most serious illnesses. Relaxation exercises will help your body not only increase endurance, improve the functioning of the immune system, increase the flow of energy, but also relieve fear and anxiety and restore contact with your inner world. In the process of such work with the imagination, the heartbeat is normalized, the pressure decreases, the brain rhythms are normalized, the body rests and gains strength.
Exercise to develop positive thinking
Exercising regularly will help you to think positively. Therefore, every night before going to bed, mentally find at least 5-7 points for which you can say thank you for today or remember 5-7 pleasant moments. At first it will work out with difficulty, but gradually you will learn to notice everything that is truly amazing and joyful in life. Gradually getting rid of the pessimistic, depressive perception of what is happening, you will be able to form in yourself a real life optimism that is so necessary for your recovery.
Relaxation exercises
Exercise number 1.
If you cannot fully relax, do not despair, this can be learned. Relaxation through self-hypnosis. Try to do this exercise 4-5 times, it will help you remember the state of relaxation and induce it quite easily. Before starting the exercise, you can take a warm, pleasant shower. While lying down or sitting with your eyes closed, focus on your breathing. Try to feel how the air passes through your bronchi and lungs. Observe your breathing for about a minute, and then begin mentally repeating slowly:
"I am completely calm" - 1 time.
"My right hand is heavy and warm" - 6 times.
"My left hand is heavy and warm" - 6 times.
"I am completely calm" - 1 time.
"My right leg is heavy and warm" - 6 times.
"I am completely calm" - 1 time.
"My left leg is heavy and warm" - 6 times.
"My face, neck, back, and abdominal muscles are relaxed."
"I am completely calm" - 1 time.
"My body is heavy and relaxed" - 2-3 times.
"I am calm and relaxed" - 2-3 times.
"I feel good and calm in this state" - 2-3 times.
When you achieve a feeling of heaviness throughout the body, the body will become heavy and, as it were, "spread" over the surface. There will be complete silence inside. If some thoughts begin to come to mind, do not fight and do not drive them away, let them flow slowly as they want. Stay in this state for as long as you want, and then mentally count from 10 to 1, open your eyes, stretch. And you can get up.
Exercise number 2.
You can induce this state of heaviness and relaxation by creating images of pleasant relaxation. Get into a comfortable position, relax, close your eyes. Mentally examine the fingers of both hands, one by one, imagining them completely relaxed, warm and heavy, then also examine the forearms and shoulders. Next, mentally focus on the muscles of the face and neck, trying to relax the tense muscles. Do the same for the legs and torso.
Feel how a gentle, warm wave slowly fills your entire body.
After that, you can imagine yourself where you usually feel good, for example, on the sunny edge of the forest, on the banks of a river, in the mountains or by the sea. Try to smell the grass, rustle of leaves or the sounds of the sea, hear the cry of seagulls, feel a light breeze on your face. Stay in this state for as long as you want. Enjoy this state of cozy warmth, peace and tranquility.
Then slowly count to 10, with each digit imagining your strength gains. Open your eyes and stretch vigorously, tense your muscles and stand up.
Whenever you feel the need for rest and relaxation, mentally move to this place and rest, taking care beforehand that you are not disturbed.
Exercises to visualize the "healing powers of the body" by the method of K. and S. Simonton
Exercise number 1.
- Lying on the floor, try to relax your whole body, feel how the muscles of your legs, arms, back, neck, and facial muscles relax. It is necessary to achieve that the body becomes heavy and relaxed.
- Then mentally visualize your illness. If it's hard to imagine right away, you can first draw the image on a piece of paper, and then try to remember your drawing. In an imaginary film, imagine how a huge army of your cells - leukocytes - is destroying this tumor. The images of leukocytes can be different depending on your imagination. The main thing is that your leukocytes were strong, active, energetic. They attack the tumor and destroy it. Cancer cells are weak and die easily.
- Dead tumor cells are naturally excreted from the body.
- At the end of the exercise, imagine yourself in your favorite place, in nature, where you like. Imagine: you are healthy, full of energy and doing a pleasant, favorite thing for you. You rest and enjoy the peace. Stay in this state for as long as you want.
Exercise number 2.
Immerse yourself in a relaxed state. Imagine yourself in a place where you feel good, calm, comfortable and safe. It can be some kind of room in a house that you have built in your imagination, a beautiful place in nature: a meadow, a forest with a river, a seashore or a mountain. It may even be on another planet. The main thing is that in this place you feel good, calm and pleasant to be. Examine carefully all the details of what surrounds you, try to see or feel sounds, smells, colors. Now get on with the arrangement of this place. Do everything the way you want. If this is a house, arrange the furniture as you want, if this is a beach, then imagine it in great detail. Listen to yourself and change this place according to your desires. Now it is your "place of power" where you can return every time you want to rest. This is a place of special energy that fills and replenishes your strength, in this place you recover, cleanse yourself, fill with strength, find answers to the questions that torment you and make decisions.
Numerous scientific studies and statistics prove that these methods of relaxation and visualization (fantasizing) affect physiological changes in the body, strengthen the immune system and help the body to relax and gain strength, and therefore become stronger. And today this method is used in many leading clinics around the world, helping patients to gain health. Naturally, this is not the main treatment. Advanced medical techniques are effective in fighting disease, while exercise helps you recuperate and, in collaboration with doctors, successfully overcome disease.
"How to overcome illness and live life to the fullest again",
The brochure was prepared as part of the Avon Charity Program "Together Against Breast Cancer"
