Women are unpredictable creatures. Especially if these are girls in transition or adolescence. Youthful maximalism, groundless complexes and unrestrained fantasies - this is what the young head is filled with. The psychology of a 17-year-old teenager, especially a girl, is so unpredictable, stormy and unrestrained that it is difficult for parents to imagine. All dads and mothers believe that they know their daughters well, about their experiences, thoughts and current events. But the process of transforming a girl into a girl is so filled with psychological and physical metamorphoses that even a mother, who once experienced the same changes herself a long time ago, but later forgot about them, now has no idea what is happening.
- Complexes
- Peer opinion
- Herd effect
- Love and sex
Complexes.
The word "complexes" is inherent in difficult adolescence. Absolutely unreasonable flaws, invented or inspired by other sources, seem to the girls to be something terrible, irreparable and frightening. And do not underestimate the girly feelings of too thin legs, acne on the face and small breasts. All these shortcomings at a young age can turn into the most serious complexes that will be stuck in a woman's head for life. The main goal of parents is to conduct conversations and try to convey to the child real and true problems, which can really have a problematic, but in no way fictional, nature.
Peer opinion.
At such a young age, few adolescents defy general influence. Usually, the thoughts and statements of friends and classmates have serious imprints. This adult has the ability to think and act at his own discretion. And young girls of 17 years old listen to the words and advice not of their mothers, but of their friends. Not every mother is able to remain the best friend.
Teenage psychology 17 years old video
Herd effect.
We all remember our first mini skirts, fancy dresses, sexy cleavage and high heels. And, of course, the concept of fashion has a special place in school and student life. Oh, these fashion trends and new items. How many young hearts dreamed of torn jeans, like Yulka from 11th "B" and Alena from 5th apartment. The herd effect in clothing does not seem ridiculous at this age. Dressing equally “fashionable” is not a lack of individuality, but on the contrary, it is an indicator of awareness of the latest fashion trends. There is no point in explaining to your daughter that being one of the herd is stupid, because the realization will come later, when your own style and taste in clothes appears. In the meantime, adolescents pay this particular attention to this issue. It is the responsibility of the parents, and these are not trifles, to let the child feel his own beauty and interest from others, with the help of his wardrobe.
Love and sex.
In youth, it seems to us that love and sex is only for the young. That after 40 comes old age. And when to love and enjoy life if not at 17? Vivid feelings, the first sexual experience and cognition of the opposite sex, these are such serious experiences that they simply cannot be underestimated. During the first experience of heart affairs, the perception of oneself as a partner is formed, the concept of how to behave and what should be the attitude towards oneself, what is love, fidelity and relationships. Sex has a special place in the life of every young girl. But today this event is not of the same character as in the days of our parents. According to young nymphets, the absence of virginity at this age is considered normal, worse if the opposite.
Love at the age of 17 is something both childish and adult at the same time, because guys and girls at this age are just preparing to become men and women, and at the same time have minimal life experience.
There is no feeling in a person's life more mysterious and alluring than love. She can knock on our door suddenly or grow and develop for a long time.
What you need to know
Forewarned is forearmed. Love at the age of 17 in adolescence is often associated with negative factors that lead in the future to problems with studies, parents, friends.
No, this does not mean at all that at the age of 17 "it is impossible". Just such an age is the best for the first relationship.
Formation of personality
Human personality develops throughout life. Each period is associated with the action of its social and biological factors, which affect the formation of a person's character, his worldview.
According to E. Erickson, 11-20 years is the time of puberty, adolescence and adolescence. During this period, self-determination of the adolescent takes place, the formation of plans for the future.
Boys and girls decide the main question: who to be and what to do in life? They experiment, play different roles in society.
“First love is neither the first nor the last. This is the love into which we most of all put ourselves, our soul, when we still had a soul ”, - A. V. Vampilov
However, we are interested in the following: during this period there is a clear sexual polarization, i.e. development of sexual self-determination and associated forms of social behavior.
E. Erickson also highlights the anomalous side of personality development at the age of 11-20, when a person cannot concentrate on his future and often looks into the past.
His worldview and beliefs are mixed, become unconvincing for the individual himself. The problem of "self-digging" appears. There is a mixture of forms of sexual behavior in society.
What can influence the formation of personality:
The path to adulthood
17 years is a transitional age when a guy or a girl prepares for adulthood. During this period, teenagers begin to ask such questions that they have not even thought about before (What is life?
How to live properly? How to be happy? What to do to achieve success in society? What does the future hold for me? What will my parents say about me at the age of 20-25?).
In general, a person understands himself and his desires, needs, responsibilities, hobbies, beliefs.
From the age of 16, most boys and girls are attracted to the opposite sex. They ask questions about the sex characteristics of men and women, their physiology, sex.
And yes, sex at 16-18 is normal. The only thing to keep in mind is the potential risks.at 17 will leave many memories for a lifetime.
Whether they are good or negative depends on the adolescents themselves and their psychological state. By this age, the person becomes mature enough to "taste" the relationship for the first time.
How to understand that this is love at 17 years old
Even at the age of 17, true love can arise. However, this is rare, and teens often confuse this feeling with falling in love or passion.
If passion is a drug, then love is healing and creation. This is how the two feelings differ. Falling in love is also not love.
This is mania, sympathy for the opposite sex. The teenager wants to spend time together and comfortably, without feeling any responsibilities or problems.
When there is love between teenagers, everything becomes different: people are not only drawn to each other because of their positive qualities.
The guy and the girl also do not pay attention to each other's shortcomings, sometimes finding advantages in them. They are not trying to fix something in themselves, they don’t need to.
Here are specific signs of love that are relevant not only for teens, but also for other age groups:
- Excitement at the sight of your sympathy.
- Awkward facial flushing.
- Conversations with neighbors often go into the mainstream of discussing their first love.
- I would like to communicate a lot with my soul mate.
- You are attracted to him / her, and it is not clear how and why this happens.
- There is a desire to give everything that you have. And we are talking about spiritual values.
Signs of a teenage crush
Any relationship starts with falling in love. 17-year-olds are no exception.
There are several signs by which you can guess about the existence of sympathy in a guy or a girl:
| The teenager comes home later than usual. | He begins to spend his free time not on a computer or books, but on "walks with friends." |
| Long telephone conversations become commonplace | A teenager can hang out at the phone for 30 minutes or even several hours in a row, chatting about anything. |
| A guy or a girl starts to follow | but with their appearance with more diligence |
| Contraceptives appear | — |
| Persistent changes in a teen's mood | Either he is happy (after a successful date) or is depressed, cries, walks with a sad face (unrequited love) |
There are also differences in behavior between boys and girls.
Girls
What are the characteristic features of behavior that a teenage girl in love can give out:
Now let's talk about boys. What behavioral features can be seen in the stronger sex:
- He is constantly looking for his sympathy in the crowd. He wants her to notice him.
- There is a change in the behavior of the guy at any appearance of his soul mate. For example, if in the company of friends a young man is the soul of the company, then when “her” appears on the horizon, he turns into a shy boy.
- The guy becomes a gentleman: he opens the door to his girlfriend, carries her bags / backpack, says compliments.
- A young man in love tries to fulfill any desire of his passion. Very often, the girl's said desire is immediately fulfilled in jest.
First love at 17
Teens are always interested in something new, and relationships are no exception. They can affect a guy or a girl in different ways, and this can often be noticed.
Video: my first love at 17 - experience and conclusions
Every teenager should always remember that relationships are not only pleasure in the company of their significant other, but also responsibility.
Therefore, true first love at such an early age is not common and is characteristic only of mature persons, not only physically, but also spiritually.
18 years old in August 19.
He was what is called - a good boy. I studied well at school, went to English courses .. entered the university for the Olympics ...... and then it started ..... friends, spending the night at a party, the smell of beer. And recently he was invited by a friend (much older) to a restaurant and my friend came on the shoulder of a friend ... ... in a state of confusion ... if not for his friend, he would have been lying in the snow all night.
In the morning, the morality was read by the father. To which it was said in response - no need to worry about me, I do what I want, I can leave at all and you won't see me again.
We also sit all night in a computer, and in the morning we can easily oversleep for 1 pair. We do not want to work either, it’s supposedly impossible to combine with studies.
Tell me ....... how to live in such a situation? How to behave correctly? (The fact that I am a mother is a failure and that I have looked through the child somewhere, I already understood)
Hello, Tatyana! Well, first of all, don't be so strict with yourself. Most likely, you did not overlook, but simply did not feel the moment when you need to change your relationship with your son. It seems that the usual teenage crisis of 13 years passed mildly for you, and now, at 18, all the "delights" of adolescence begin. Read this article.
http://medrespect.ru/o-vashuh-detyah/68-ostorojno-podrostok.html
I think that the main idea that you must accept is that you must give him responsibility for yourself, for your actions, for your health and life. Because while he knows for sure that you will scold him, but get him out of any trouble. Let him solve his problems himself: if he leaves the institute - he goes to work, wants to leave - let him leave, give money for travel and a snack, if you want to have fun - earn money yourself. Only this position should be calm and firm, and all the rules should be discussed in the family and understood. And it will not be superfluous if you explain to him that now it depends only on him what kind of person he will become: educated or not, accustomed to getting his way or giving up any business halfway through, addicted or not.
Now is the time when he tries everything that is forbidden. And if once "came" on the shoulder of a friend - it's okay, the alarm should be sounded when it becomes the norm. All you can do is conduct explanatory conversations. Short and to the point. It seems that he is cramped within the framework of the control that has been established over him. Try with him as a friend, an adult who lives with you. How would you communicate with him? What would they say to him if he came drunk or skipped part of the working day? Get into this position more often! Tatyana, with matured children we need to look for another language of communication. If it doesn't work out - ask for help, I know that it is very difficult to change the prevailing stereotypes of communication! Sincerely. Julia
Good answer 8 Bad answer 0Hello, Tatyana! It seems that you and your son have developed a symbiotic relationship. Your phrases describing his behavior are very characteristic
We sit in the same way
We don't want to work either
You don't share where you are and where your son is. And you take his mistakes and mistakes personally.
mother is a loser and has looked at the child somewhere
Rather, you "reviewed" it. In a situation of overprotection, children often grow up unprepared to take responsibility for their actions on themselves, they simply did not have the opportunity to learn this. And at that age, when there is an opportunity to "try on" adult roles, they do not understand how to do this and the desire to escape takes the form of protest, because of their own free will, the parents will never let the child go.
I completely agree with my colleague, who answered you before me, it is necessary to change the methods of communication with the child, giving him the right to live HIS life, and not live FOR HIM. All the best!
Good answer 7 Bad answer 1The transition from adolescence to adolescence occurs at the age of 14-17. Adolescence is called the final stage of childhood and the first period of adulthood.
There are many interpretations, age periodizations, developed by various authors. According to one of them, early adolescence is a stage from 15 to 17 years old, while late adolescence corresponds to a time interval from 18 to 21 years.
Social situation
The young man is still dependent on adults, in this regard he is still a child.
The main tasks at this stage are the tasks of self-determination. He tries to understand who he is and who he is going to become. He wants to prove his uniqueness and originality.
At this age stage, educational and professional activity, which is becoming the leading one, is of primary importance. The young man not only continues to study, he is faced with an acute need to choose his professional path.
Features of mental development
The attention of the young man becomes arbitrary. He perfectly masters the techniques of switching attention. Thanks to a volitional effort, he is able to concentrate on something for a long time.
Memory is also arbitrary. The volume of meaningful memorization increases.
Thinking. He is good at highlighting the most essential provisions from the general flow of information. Can streamline, systematize, existing knowledge. A clear understanding of general and specific concepts appears.
The imagination is subject to strong self-control. The fantasy that once led the child into the world of dreams is now undergoing critical reflection. Although, in adolescence, guys tend to dream, usually about the future.
The vocabulary is very rich. In some cases, written speech is at a higher level than oral speech.
Youth personality development
There is an active formation of the image of "I", self-awareness, that is, a system of ideas about oneself. The desire to better understand one's own inner world leads to deeper introspection and self-reflection.
The young man seeks to fiercely defend his personal space and point of view. He is emancipated from adults. Acquires an active life position, because in adolescence he acts as a bearer of his own beliefs, certain attitudes, points of view regarding what is happening.
In the personality system, stable value orientations crystallize, and their own worldview is formed. The worldview search is inextricably linked with the social orientation of the individual, the awareness of his involvement in a social community, the determination of his own social position and the finding of means to achieve his goals. A conscious "final, generalized attitude to life" appears (the term of S. L. Rubinstein), which allows one to seriously approach the search for the meaning of one's own life.
It is in adolescence that a realistic understanding of the time factor takes place. The young man forms life plans and tries to build a life perspective.
In the process of growing up, accumulating experience of interpersonal communication and interaction with others, a more adequate assessment of oneself is created. Although he often evaluates himself somewhat optimistically, overestimating his own abilities and capabilities. The opinions of teachers and parents are losing their former influence.
Youth is associated with increased emotional excitability. Moreover, the ways of expressing and manifesting overflowing emotions can be very different.
In the period of adolescence, a kind of philosophical intoxication of consciousness can be traced. The young man is overcome by all sorts of thoughts, doubts, which often prevents him from clearly following to the achievement of any goal. He tries himself in various activities, gains experience of interaction with various social groups, so he knows himself better.
This age is marked by such a frequently used concept as "youthful maximalism", when he perceives everything only in black and white colors. For him, everything that fits into the system of his beliefs, values and ideals is positive, and what does not have a place in it becomes negative.
Communication
The circle of personally important relationships is growing among young men. They always have a certain emotional coloring. In the course of interpersonal communication, the assimilation of various statuses and roles takes place, communication skills are honed. It is communication that allows you to feel your group belonging or feel the need for privacy.
Friendship is already acquiring special significance for young men. They become ready for deep self-disclosure in communication with another person, they can reveal their true experiences, and in turn, they are able to fully cognize the inner world of their friend, girlfriend.
The number of real friends is decreasing, while the number of friends and acquaintances is increasing. This indicates an increase in selectivity in relation to the choice of loved ones, those to whom they are ready to open themselves. Indeed, at this age, friendship appears as a kind of "psychotherapy".
Often a young man feels misunderstood and lonely. This may not be due to real isolation, non-recognition by peers. He may simply not know how to most fully express his feelings and emotions.
In adolescence, the topic of love and the establishment of close relationships with the opposite sex becomes extremely relevant. There is a need for confidential and informal communication with adults. This enables a young person to gain a lot of life knowledge and find answers to his questions. However, young men tend to keep a certain distance in this interaction.
Love
For young men, dreams of love are primarily associated with the need to establish emotional contact, to understand. The relationship between love and friendship is quite difficult to correlate with each other in the head of a young man. Indeed, love, of course, includes friendship, but it presupposes an incredible degree of intimacy and penetration into the inner world of a partner. Moreover, initially, one's own experiences, emotions are more significant than the object of attachment itself.
Love can take over young men like an epidemic. As soon as one couple appears in the classroom, other lovers are also discovered. Moreover, one of the most popular girl or boy in the class can serve as an object of admiration.
Some young men prefer to isolate themselves from love behind the mask of asceticism, that is, an emphatically hostile and contemptuous attitude towards feelings.
Another form of defense is "intellectualism". At the same time, a person is inclined to consider love a useless waste of time and an uninteresting, empty activity.
So, the main acquisitions are:
- worldview, as a system of moral convictions and views, in accordance with which a person acts in one way or another;
- a set of social attitudes, positions and value orientations;
- a sense of maturity;
- personal and professional self-determination;
- the motive of self-improvement acts as the dominant motives;
- the formation of stable ideas about oneself and the development of self-awareness.
After overcoming the crisis for 17 years, a young man acquires a value-semantic self-regulation of behavior.
Dear blog readers, what do you think of the young man. Leave feedback or comments below. Someone will find it very useful!
In fact, you need to know this not only at 18, but at any other age. At school, male and female psychology is not taught.
And my mother does not always tell that men are no goats, as Aunt Sveta says. You just need to communicate with them correctly.
Elementary and basic knowledge of the psychology of men helps to avoid a lot of mistakes in relationships, your future family and, in general, in life. And the ship of your fantasies on the theme of men will not crash on the harsh reality.
So, 12 Things Any Girl Should Know About Guys At 18
1. Men are simple
Like a table, that's the truth. And therefore, they will not guess that you are really offended, if to his "what happened" - you answer "Nothing!".
He will not understand what you like if you don’t tell him directly about it, or at least you don’t smile!
If he sits and is silent, and you go up to him with the question "dear, what are you thinking" and you will hear in response "nothing!" - do not be surprised that this is true. We are really capable of thinking "nothing"! We are so unloading the brain.
2. Men think about sex more often than women
Yes, according to various studies, men think about sex every 11 minutes on average. I also once read that 19 times a day.
Well, during working hours, of course, less. The point is different: any normal and physically healthy man wants sex.
When he says to you at a party “come to me!”, You’re okay, he just wants you as a woman and talks about it directly (see point 1). BUT! Go or not go - you decide.
If this phrase sounds on the first date and you haven't met before, you should think twice about whether the gigolo is sitting opposite.
And in any case, you have every right to answer “I'm sorry, I'm not ready / I don't want to like this,” and this will exhaust the question. And do not sulk, take offense, call him "dog", etc.
3. Men are afraid ...
A lot of things, by the way. Even the toughest and strongest alpha male is afraid of being rejected, humiliated and insulted. Afraid of rejection, insolvency in bed and in business, as well as illness, loneliness.
And yes, most men are afraid of very serious conversations. But even more so that you will know what he is afraid of.
4. Men do not like to sort things out
It is a fact. The question "what do you think about our relationship" can easily drive him into a dead end. As well as the sacramental “we need to talk seriously”.
For example: "Seryozha, what could I, as a woman, do to make you feel happier in a relationship?" or “You know, I feel loved and desired when you….”.
The same tactic applies to both requests and gratitude to a man - softly, femininely, substantively and with delight.
And remember: never talk to a man about a relationship when he is hungry, angry, upset, or watching a match of his favorite team on TV. And of course, talking is not about sex -.
5. A man cannot be changed
First, why redesign it? Imagine doing the same to you in every relationship. I'm sure you won't like it.
He is what he is, and he can be accepted and loved as he is, or not. This does not mean that a man does not need to change and develop at all.
It's just that not everyone wants it - and rightly so. It happens that people change radically, but exclusively from an internal impulse and.
Sometimes under the influence of a strong stimulus - for example, love. But not in everything, not always and far from the way you would like.
Therefore: if something globally does not suit you in a relationship, first start with yourself, then with a frank and calm conversation with a man.
6. Not all men are polygamous.
No need to wait for him to call or write a polite explanatory SMS. Forget it and move on.
10. His mom and his friends are sacred
God forbid criticizing his family, friends and relatives, and especially his mother. He has a special bond with her.
He may have known friends since childhood, while he has known you for a couple of weeks or months. Guess in whose favor he will make the choice, if necessary.
So try to make friends with them. And with my mom. What if this is your future mother-in-law? The only BUT - watch, your man? Think about whether you want to be a mommy in a relationship, not a woman you love.
11. He's not your daddy
Unfortunately, due to different reasons, adults continue to project their childhood fears, expectations and resentments onto others. It is not right.
Yes, a man will take care of you, will love you as best he can or as you will allow, he will even give gifts.
But he is not your father, he is not obliged to serve snotty and raise your self-esteem and love you unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. m
Just understand and accept: this is a different person and he does not owe you anything, just as you do to him. You are together because both have chosen it.
12. He needs personal space
As well as you, by the way. It is important for him to feel free from time to time. Sometimes they go fishing, go to the bathhouse, talk male conversations and play with their male toys.
Even the most loving people still need time for themselves.
These are the moments when you can dig deeper and find cockroaches that interfere with life and build a bond with your partner.
You, too, in no case should dwell only on it - meet your girlfriends, go to the spa and gym, remember your favorite hobby and be interesting to yourself.
And further
Ultimatums and DO NOT work, men prefer not only blondes, but they do not marry bitches at all.
Stereotypes and prejudices are some of the biggest enemies of a happy relationship. The end result does not lead to anything good.
Sincerity, honesty, openness, your femininity and wisdom - this is what will definitely help to build harmonious with men and, in general, to interact constructively with them.
Good luck,
Yaroslav Samoilov.
