Hello at my place serious problems I don't want to live in life
I’ll start with the fact that until I was 20 I never dated anyone, I’m a beautiful, educated girl, many guys ran after me, but I was always looking for my one and only person and in the end I myself don’t know how it is, but in my soul what told me that with this person I will be the future and we began to communicate, he fell in love with me and I myself began to fall in love for the first time. We started dating, everything was fine, he even introduced me to his family and my family knew that I had a boyfriend and knew each other, he even told his mother that we would get married, we met, I gave myself to him because he trusted himself to me so much and when we were for 9 months now he suddenly says that he doesn’t love me and the most offensive thing he said was that it wasn’t me who took your virginity, that there was no blood, I was shocked by what I heard, how he can change so much at once and for no reason at all he always says that to me he said that he loves me so much that you yourself can’t imagine how much he told his mother that he loved me and I believed it, he always said that he would never leave me and in the end he left me with this pain for the rest of my life, I don’t want to love anyone like that like him, I really want him to come back to me, he didn’t appreciate that worthy woman who only thought about him and only breathed about him, wanted to see him as her husband, why did this happen? I was faithful to him, I was a worthy girl. He dated just about anyone in his life, but he said that he didn’t introduce them all to his mother, he only sincerely loved you, he said so, and now he says that he doesn’t love me and the worst thing is that it’s not him I took my virginity, he tells me the most offensive thing, but I love him so much that I don’t want to let him go, even if he has already left me, he doesn’t even say his reason why he did this, saying only that he doesn’t love me, this doesn’t seem true, I don’t want to I can believe it, but what can I do if he didn’t love me, why did he come to the distance where I live three times? If he didn’t love me, he wouldn’t have introduced me to his mother, sister, brothers, that’s right, but I love him very much, I love him, I don’t know what to do. Now my life is broken, how can I continue to live? He used me and left me, making me to blame for everything ((((I’m so offended That only I know he had difficulties in his family and everyone put pressure on him. But why did he just abandon me, what’s my problem? guilt? I only loved him and wanted to build my future with him, but he did this to me. I don’t hang out in clubs and restaurants like some girls, I’m home, Allah sees, and he spoiled me like that and left saying that he didn’t love me and didn’t love me and that I should she never called or wrote, he removed me and my friends, brothers from everything, why did he treat me so rudely? Humiliating me, he didn’t even think that a woman gave birth to him, that he had a sister. Why do I need this? Why did he leave such a life for me and leave? I just wanted happiness.
There lives a woman in the world. She is already over 40, divorced from her husband, the children have grown up and left the nest - they now have their own personal lives. It seems it's time to start knitting mittens and closing them up for the winter apricot jam and slowly prepare to meet a comfortable old age.
But suddenly he appears on the horizon: young, passionate and unbridled in love affairs The guy is handsome, too!
Mutual interest, flared up feelings - a story from a romantic film. He carries her in his arms like a princess, does not notice her age, facial wrinkles and a couple of extra pounds on the sides... Everything is perfect! But time passes and one fine morning young Apollo leaves his aging girlfriend.
Why does this happen, and how can you make sure that a young man never wants to leave his beloved? Read more about this.
What pushes a woman into a relationship with a man? younger age? Do you want to feel again how wings grow behind your back and the earth disappears from under your feet? Attempts to jump into the last carriage and stop the passing of youth? Nostalgia for your first cloudless love?
Everyone has their own reasons. And despite social stereotypes, a romantic union where a woman is older than a man is not doomed to failure, but often has its advantages!
A woman begins to take care of herself
A young lover who wants to stun, seduce and sweep off his feet is the perfect motivation to change his style! Bright dresses instead of gray jeans, loose hair instead of a slicked ponytail, red lipstick and winged eyes! Cosmetologists, massage therapists, jogging in the morning—whatever passion and desire to please women pushes them to do.
And the man is happy! Near blooming woman I want to strive only forward, move mountains, achieve goals, conquer new and new peaks for her sake.
It's easier for a man to realize himself
If a woman is older, has extensive experience in arranging life, relationships and social sphere, it’s not a sin for her to prove herself in a leadership role. You can give a man advice or a hint, but just don’t do it in the tone of a formidable boss!
An adult woman is able to help a young partner even in career endeavors, unlike an inexperienced young beauty. But this should be done carefully, without applying strong pressure.
Vibrant sex
It's not about acrobatic tricks or lack of inhibitions, but about understanding desires! An experienced woman will say what she wants without embarrassment, biting her lips and lowering her eyes. Maybe sex in the car? Or a blowjob in a restaurant toilet? Or several orgasms in a row? She is no longer shy, but acts! And this initiative turns men on more than the face of a “Barbie doll” - and it doesn’t matter whether the age difference is a year, 6 years or 26!
“A woman 10 years older than a man is not normal,” divorced or unhappily married friends secretly whisper. And this is a common reaction of people raised in the Soviet Union. Don't listen to this gossip: evil tongues and bored women They will always find a reason to discuss someone’s life in an unpleasant way.
U famous actor Hugh Jackman and his wife are 13 years apart in age. At first the press reacted scandalously, asking the question: “What did he find in this old woman?” But the noise died down, and the couple has been together for 23 years happy marriage with two children.
Learn from each other
A significant age difference benefits both partners. A woman shares her wisdom acquired over the years and life experience, and the man brings “new things” to the couple modern society and fresh ideas.
Don't be jealous of the young chosen one
Jealousy comes from lack of self-confidence. Does it really make sense for an experienced, accomplished and harmonious woman to indulge in such girlish experiences? If the chosen one is nearby, it means he enjoys the relationship!
To avoid stressing yourself out too much, spend more time together: attend events, go out of town for the weekend, meet friends.
Enjoy the ease of relationships
A young partner will never reproach you for frivolity, will not read morals and guide you on the right path. An easy approach to life, freedom and emancipation - this is what awaits the “unequal” couple!
Don't be afraid to make plans for the future if this is “your” person
Unfortunately, peer relationships are less successful - 53% of marriages break up after three to four years. Average duration marriages, if the woman is older than the man - up to 16 years. So don’t be afraid to take the risk of getting married again, moving to another country with him, starting a new life!
Have sex more often
An experienced woman without stupid sexual restrictions, who knows where and in what position she wants in bed, is a much more sensual lover than a twenty-year-old young girl who imitates orgasms and moans, like in porn films.
A young lover is hot, passionate and hungry for sex, and can satisfy his partner’s erotic fantasies all night without getting tired.
Be open to sensual pleasures: if he is younger than you, then this is definitely an advantage in sex!
Despite the fact that the optimal age difference between partners is considered to be 3-4 years, you definitely have a chance to build happy union and under other conditions! Remember our tips and read some inspiring stories!
They did it - so can you!
- Salvador Dali and Gala - she was 12 years older, left Paris for a remote Spanish village for the sake of a young lover, and in 53 years she never regretted her decision;
- Sergei Yesenin and Isendora Dukan - a romantic and mysterious relationship, where the partners were separated by 17 years;
- Einstein and his first wife Milera Maric - the genius was 5 years younger, two children were born in the marriage, and the woman was an inspiration for the scientist;
- Honore de Balzac's first love was a woman 22 years older. She was his muse, advisor and friend!
Down with prejudices
Is the man 8 years younger or 10? Is there a digital “gap” between you that is so scary to accept? Or the age difference of 15 years? Is a woman older than her partner abnormal? Will he leave for a younger girl?
Exhale and calm down! You are amazing at your age and deserve a little fun, levity and freedom! If you are overcome by passion, give in to it and do not be afraid of anything.
Of course, it all depends on how old the girl is. If she is twenty, then it just looks funny and awkward. Still, think for yourself, what common interests can a child and an almost adult lady have?
But in the case when a guy is twenty years old, everything depends on his intelligence, behavior and attitude towards the world. Of course, when a girl is 6 years older than a guy, not everyone will accept and understand this. Therefore, you need to be prepared for sidelong glances and discussions. Of course, in reality, your personal life and your relationships should concern absolutely no one. You need to learn to simply ignore gossip and judgment. Basically, this is done by limited, insecure people who are not endowed with high intelligence and themselves live a gray, boring life. You should never pay attention to such individuals, since their opinions are biased and their phrases are filled with bile. Such people should be treated with cold detachment. Ultimately, they should not spoil and destroy your life and love by reveling in this petty success.
As for your own thoughts about the difference, we can only advise you not to get hung up on it. If you fell in love with such a guy, it means that you were attracted to him as a man, right? After all, if you really felt the difference in age, you would treat him like a friend, like a younger brother, but not at all the way you feel about him now. Age is not at all an indicator of character, determination and intelligence. There are guys who, even at thirty, don’t know what they want, go with the flow and are permanently depressed and cannot understand what they need in a relationship. At the same time, there are guys who, at seventeen or eighteen years old, already clearly plan their lives, have goals and ambitions, treat girls with respect, try to find their soul mate and do not waste their time on meaningless relationships and dubious companies. If such a guy is next to you, then you never even think about the fact that he is younger. It is not the year of birth that speaks for him, but his thoughts, actions and deeds. If such a young man promises something, you can always be guaranteed that the promise will be put into action exactly when he said it. Such guys begin to earn their own living early, help their parents, and rent housing. Often, they manage to both work and study, have different hobbies and amaze with their comprehensive development. It happens that a girl, next to such a guy, feels not older, but younger. The fact is that thanks to correctly set priorities, guys of this mindset and character never behave frivolously. This does not mean that they do not know how to have fun and fool around. It’s just that at the right moment, a young man always knows how to pull himself together and treat the situation as a man should, and not a child.
By the way, these guys often look older than their age, so visually few people will guess your age difference.
If a woman chooses a guy who is younger than her, this act cannot be condemned and considered some kind of deviation. After twenty, age limits are no longer as noticeable as during adolescence and six years old cease to be so. big difference. It’s another matter if the girl herself cannot overcome her psychological barrier. It often happens that women suppress their feelings because they consider their love to be wrong and immoral. After all, the boy is good enough for her younger brothers. Of course, the principles imposed by society are very difficult to break. Every girl, finding herself in a similar situation, immediately faces condemnation and understands that she is doing everything wrong. It seems to them that by choosing her love, she puts a stigma on both herself and the guy, and behaves immorally and asocially. You should never think like that. There is no immorality in love unless it offends or causes any harm to others. Therefore, those who can condemn such a couple are actually simply jealous of their happiness and courage to be together. A normal person will never discuss the relationships and feelings of others, because they are a problem for only two people, those who can figure everything out themselves. Therefore, if you understand that you really love a person who is younger than you, and he feels the same, you should not give up love and break the heart of a person who may turn out to be your soul mate. It’s better to talk to him and discuss everything seriously.
First, you must understand whether you have the same views on relationships and concepts of love. How does a guy imagine his life next to you, what he wants and what he is going to do. In addition, you need to honestly admit to yourself whether his feelings are serious or whether it is youthful maximalism. You should never forget what you already want Serious relationships, and the guy, perhaps, perceives everything quite childishly and soon simply cannot withstand the burden that has fallen on his shoulders. Therefore, try to always think objectively and not allow society to influence your decisions. Here feminine wisdom and sensuality will always help you understand what is really happening and how best to act in this situation. Don't tell yourself that he is still small and you won't succeed.
11 chosen
We often hear how girls who date younger men are very worried about this. IN in this case we're talking about about the difference not of a couple of years, but more - 5, 6, 10 years... Some women worry so much that with a huge effort of will they force themselves to end this relationship - and this despite the sincere mutual love. They believe that they can somehow become an obstacle in the life of their younger loved one, a “ballast” that will drag them down and deprive them of the opportunity to see the world, build a career, have a “normal” family, etc. and so on. And those who find the strength to continue “age-unequal” relationships still constantly worry about this and do not feel absolutely confident that they are doing everything right.
Personally, I am very sad and even painful to hear this. And I am firmly convinced that you cannot ruin your life because of ridiculous prejudices and the opinions of others, to whom you are absolutely under no obligation to prove anything. Is it really impossible to live your life? own life the way you want, and not the way others expect from you?
From childhood we are taught how we should choose a partner. Katherine Elliott, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, says, “We are victims of internal criticism and internal limitations. We think we should only weigh 54kg. We should marry people who are no more than two years older or younger than us. We consider anything that goes beyond these “shoulds/musts” to be pathological. Is it possible to let stereotypes rule your life and be the main factor in choosing a partner? Isn’t it better to trust not strangers, but your own feelings, your opinion and your heart?.. After all, the most important thing here is to find “your” person, close in spirit, attitude, intensity of life. And these factors certainly do not depend on age.
But still resist public opinion sometimes quite difficult. Therefore, I would like to debunk three persistent stereotypes that couples consisting of more than one person constantly have to face. adult woman And young man.
Stereotype 1. “He will leave you for a younger woman.” In fact, men do not leave one woman for another just because the second one is younger. As a rule, there are other, more serious reasons for this. For example, a young man dreams of children, but a woman no longer wants or cannot have them, etc. Age itself in this case is not the reason for separation.
Stereotype 2. “The woman herself initiated the beginning of a relationship with a man younger than herself.” Surprisingly, but usually everything happens exactly the opposite. Thus, Susan Winter, co-author of the book “Older Woman, Younger Man - New Opportunities for Love and romantic relationships”, notes that in all 200 couples that were surveyed during the writing of the book, it was the man who was the first to make contact and take certain steps towards the woman he liked.
Stereotype 3. “A relationship like this can’t last.” Statistics show that relationships between a more mature woman and a younger man last on average 13 years. Some such couples live together much longer (we are talking about a period of 25 years or more), and do not think about separating at all.
Thus, the forecasts for the existence of a strong and long-lasting union in couples where the woman is older and the man is younger are quite optimistic. As a rule, they are less likely to have conflicts caused by a lady who already has experience in relationships and is wise enough not to “be capricious over trifles.” She tries to support her husband in every possible way, unlike the young girl, who is still more focused on building her own career. Next to a younger man, a woman pays more attention to her appearance and health - fortunately, modern conditions life allows any representative of the fair sex to remain “in shape” for a very, very long time. As they say, if there is a desire!..
In such relationships there is, perhaps, only one significant drawback - a woman’s ability to have children, which rapidly decreases over the years, and the risk of complications late pregnancy and childbirth, on the contrary, is increasing. In addition, an adult woman most often already has children, and she is not always ready to do this again. And a young man may really want children. Or want them after some time, when it will be almost impossible... So this sensitive issue It is advisable to discuss it in advance, “on the shore”, so that later it will not be excruciatingly painful...
The most important thing here, in my opinion, is not to be afraid, to listen to your heart and not to listen to the advice and forecasts of “well-wishers.” After all, the reasons why people break up do not depend on age. Problems in relationships can equally occur among peers and partners with an age difference, and they certainly do not depend on the latter factor. It seems to me that this is the case when it is better to do it and regret it than not to do it and then bitterly regret it for the rest of your life. Be attentive, tolerant of each other, enjoy every moment spent together, don’t think every minute about how much longer you are destined to be together - just be together and let it be best time in life, no matter how long it lasts! And in general, take an example from celebrities (not in all senses, of course, but only in relation to the age difference between partners!). Many of them are really happy - for example, Lera Kudryavtseva and Igor Makarov (she is 44, he is 28), Yana Rudkovskaya and Zhenya Plushenko (8 years difference in favor of his wife), Larisa Dolina and Ilya Spitsyn (12 years difference), and many others, not only domestic stars...
