Everyone knows that the family is the cell of society. Unfortunately, recently the attitude towards family and marriage in society has changed not for the better. People have ceased to take seriously the creation of a strong and happy family, the upbringing of children as worthy members of society. According to statistics, every second marriage in Russia ends in divorce.
Society should strive to leave behind a worthy young generation. And a person can get such education only in the family, surrounded by loved ones and loved ones.
Islam prioritizes the creation of a strong family. According to the established stereotypes in modern society, many consider the Muslim family to be backward and present a picture where the husband establishes an authoritarian regime of government, can have several wives and do with them as he pleases. Public opinion claims that a woman in a Muslim family has no rights, she is in the role of a servant and only takes care of the house and children.
It is extremely unfair and insulting to Islam to represent the Muslim family and the relationship between husband and wife in this way, as well as to consider this the norm in Islam. One cannot judge religion based only on the examples of unsuccessful families and the actions of Muslims. To hold such an opinion means to have absolutely no understanding of Islam. To err is human, many Muslims today simply do not have enough knowledge about their religion. Therefore, the purpose of this article is to characterize the Muslim family from the point of view of Islam, to describe what a Muslim family should be like according to the prescription of the Almighty.
Muslims are ordered to build a family on the basis of mutual consent and love. Muslim marriage is an agreement between a man and a woman, according to which they begin a life together, showing mutual love, trust, assistance, understanding towards each other. The family for a person should be a source of joy, peace, enjoyment of life.
“Among His signs is that He made wives out of yourselves for you to find rest in them, and established love and mercy among you. Verily, in this are signs for a people who think.” (Quran, sura 30, verse 21).
Only in a family where love and mutual respect rule, individuals with high morality, to which Islam calls, can be formed. Therefore, the family is the cell of society, the building material through which a successful society is built.
Regarding polygamy, Islam allows a Muslim to remarry. But the Qur'an stipulates strict conditions that must be observed when concluding such marriages. First, it is allowed to have no more than four wives. Secondly, there should be equality among all wives, and a man should treat his wives equally, without depriving anyone of attention and love.
Having two or more wives can only be afforded by a Muslim who stands firmly on his feet and has enough means to provide for all his wives, and who is sure that none of the wives will be deprived of his love and care. Therefore, there are few such families in Muslim countries, not everyone can take on such a responsibility.
The greatest joy in the life of a Muslim is his righteous wife. She keeps the family hearth, takes care of her husband and children. In the company of his wife, a Muslim finds peace and comfort, he completely relies on her when troubles, misfortunes, and fatigue overtake him.
In Islam, a woman has the right to choose her own husband. No one can force her to marry a man she doesn't like. But this does not mean that a Muslim woman should not listen to the advice of her parents, who have accumulated rich life experience.
The most important qualities by which Muslims choose their life partner are their attitude to religious duties and the character of a person, i.e. character. If the choice is made meaningfully, based on these two qualities, then the family will be strong and happy.
The duty of spouses is to bear children and raise them in the spirit of piety and morality, which are the basic principles of Islam.
“Your Lord has commanded you not to worship anyone but Him, and to do good to your parents. If one of the parents or both reach old age, then do not say to them: “Ugh!”. Don't yell at them and be respectful. Bow before them the wing of humility according to your mercy and say: “Lord! Have mercy on them, because they raised me as a child. (Quran, sura 17, verses 23-24)
Islam places a special place on mothers. “Paradise is under the feet of your mothers,” said the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
As you can see, the Muslim family is based on non-violent, voluntary, free marriage between a man and a woman. The main principles of family life are: faith in the one God, obedience to Him in all matters, love between spouses, respect for parents and the upbringing of worthy and well-behaved children.
Divorce is allowed in Islam, but is the most disliked act before God. The Qur'an points to the holiness and inseparability of marital ties. Islam calls for patience and harmony between spouses.
The decoration of any family are, of course, children. Children bring us joy. Parents have high expectations for their children. These are our future helpers and support in old age. Whether they will become so depends on how successfully we manage to educate them, shape them as individuals.
In a Muslim family, where the prescriptions of Islam are observed, the spouses are aware of the responsibility that is entrusted to them in the upbringing of children. Children can be a source of joy for parents, but they can also become a source of troubles and misfortunes not only for the family, but also for society.
The upbringing of children begins with the period of breastfeeding. In the Quran, the Lord commands a woman to breastfeed a child up to two years:
"Mothers must breastfeed their children for two full years if they want to complete breastfeeding." (Quran, sura 2, verse 233)
A few years ago, doctors advised breastfeeding only up to a year, and now they recommend breastfeeding up to two years, as stated in the Koran. As you know, breast milk strengthens the immune system, heals not only the body, but also the soul of the child. In addition, breastfeeding is beneficial for the woman herself. It helps to avoid diseases such as cancer of the mammary glands and genital organs.
Unfortunately, many modern women refuse to breastfeed their child, fearing breast deformity. And in some cases, the child himself refuses breast milk, which is poisoned by alcohol, tobacco and drugs.
A Muslim woman, as a mother, is aware of the importance of breastfeeding and tries to keep breastfeeding up to two years.
As the child grows, his need for the attention of both parents increases. It is important not to miss the moments of educating certain qualities in children as their ability to understand life's values increases.
Today, when we are attacked from all sides by information about depravity and violence, it is becoming increasingly difficult to save a child from this negativity and bring up morality in him. It is very important for a Muslim family to educate a child in faith in one God. Without faith, a child can grow up to be a person who will lose his health by indulging in addictions. Only by surrounding him in the family with an atmosphere of good manners and love for God, you can direct the upbringing of the child in the right direction.
Nowadays it has become somehow not fashionable to start a family. Young people believe that it is necessary to “work up” properly, then only think about creating a family. As a result, sick children are born from parents who have “walked up” and lost part of their health as a result. Pediatricians are concerned that fewer and fewer healthy children are being born every day. Today, many public figures and well-known politicians are sounding the alarm that society is disintegrating, which could lead to a demographic crisis.
The disintegration of society is the result of the disintegration of the family in society. Will this not lead to the collapse of the entire state? Is it time for a radical revision of life values?
Islam does not consider free sex and adultery a trifle. In Islam, this is not only an immoral act, it is a crime that threatens humanity with death. In Islam, the family is a virtue, righteousness. The salvation of mankind today is in the revival of true family values, those that are accepted in Islam, Christianity, Judaism. (jcomments on)
One of the serious questions facing many people in their youth is the question of the permissibility of sexual relations before marriage. Let's try to think about whether there are positive reasons for staying chaste and free from the temptations and dangers of premarital sex.
Fortunately, such reasons exist, and they are not so few. Chastity gives us time and opportunity for spiritual growth, the development of our personality. We reserve the freedom to choose our path in life, knowing that this freedom will not be affected by sexually transmitted diseases or early pregnancy.
Think about how your plans for education or future career might be disrupted if, for example, at the age of 17 you find yourself with a child in your arms.
Many teenagers - both boys and girls - worry that not having sex will make them look old-fashioned, they will feel like "black sheep" in the company of their peers. However, in a world where many simply go with the flow, agreeing with the opinion of the majority, giving up something may, on the contrary, indicate that you are a deep, thoughtful and mature person. As for relationships, they will be much deeper and more loving if you use words and actions to express feelings that reflect your love and concern for another person, rather than purely physical actions.
Many people think that getting married and having a ring on their finger somehow open the way to self-management. Is it so? Will a person who has not previously learned to control his feelings be able to instantly change after marriage? The rising divorce rate suggests that the problems that exist in our lives do not disappear, but simply move into married life. A good marriage is based on trust, camaraderie, and love. If spouses faithfully and sincerely love each other, then they pass these qualities on to their children. Therefore, it is often said that a good family is the foundation of a good society. If now we first of all think about our spiritual, moral growth, about becoming a harmonious personality, then this will help us create a happy, emotionally prosperous family in the future.
Chastity frees us from feelings of fear, shame and guilt that often accompany sexual relations before marriage. Research shows that, psychologically speaking, there is a very significant difference between people who engage in premarital sex and those who abstain from it. One of the most significant differences is that adolescents who chose the path of chastity were distinguished by the ability to make informed, considered decisions; they seriously thought about their future and planned it. On the other hand, those of the guys who have entered into premarital affairs often admit that they did not think about events that were more than a week or a month ahead of them. Not surprisingly, with this approach, they sometimes got into unpleasant stories. And yet some people think they exist REASONS that can justify sexual relations outside of marriage. Let's look at some of them and try to assess how reasonable they are.
Before getting married, some couples find it necessary to make sure that they are sexually compatible.
Since sexual intimacy is an important part of marriage, some people believe that it is very important to "get to know each other" before getting married. However, recent research has shown that this is not at all the case:
Sociological research evidence contradicts the widely held notion that living together before marriage provides a stronger foundation for marriage. It turned out that couples who lived together before marriage were 30% more likely to divorce during the first five years.
A sexual relationship is unlikely to help us know whether a potential spouse will be a reliable, trustworthy person; physical intimacy will not tell us anything about the honesty of our chosen one (chosen one), his ability to love deeply and faithfully, to take care of someone other than himself. Such qualities as fidelity, the ability for emotional intimacy, prudence, conscientiousness, determination, flexibility, the ability to admit one's mistakes and forgive others, the ability to compromise in the name of harmony in the family, will not manifest themselves in a relationship of sexual intimacy, but they will determine how happy your marriage will be. Sexual intercourse, on the other hand, can lead to mistaken marriage. Sex creates very strong emotional bonds between people, and this can lead us astray into continuing relationships based primarily on physical attraction. As a result, people often find themselves trapped in relationships they have already outgrown.
There is a point of view that sex is just a physical need, like food, and there is nothing wrong with satisfying it.
Physical needs, such as the need for food and sleep, are governed by natural laws. If we don't eat or sleep for a long time, we will die. However, the absence of sexual relations will not lead to such consequences at all. For example, followers of many religions who take vows of celibacy and maintain it throughout their lives are known for their longevity and health. Animals cannot control their sexual instincts, for them sex is not connected with love. However, we are not just highly organized animals. We can control our actions; for us consciousness should be more important than instincts. We usually think, judge, and make decisions before we act. We do not follow the first desire or impulse that comes to our mind.
“If a healthy young man will follow his every sexual impulse, and as a result of each connection a child will be born, then in ten years he will easily be able to populate a small village with his offspring” (C.S. Lewis).
However, human sexual aspirations are not regulated by the laws of nature, but by moral principles, determined primarily by love. Sex is not just an act of intimacy, but an expression of love between two people for each other. Attempts to separate sex from the human personality, to isolate it from feelings, humiliate our human dignity.
Many do not recognize marriage, but are in constant communication with another person.
Marriage involves people making vows of mutual devotion. Of course, this does not mean that the stamp in the passport is a guarantee of your future happy life. In the end, it all depends on how much you both will love each other and feel responsible not only for yourself, but also for your relationship. However, think about this. All these arguments about living together, depending only on love, and not some external formalities such as a joint trip to the registry office, may sound quite attractive, but is there sometimes a hidden fear behind them to take responsibility for the family; not only for the joys of love, but also for the problems that inevitably arise in relationships? When a person gets married, he thereby assumes quite serious obligations. When people just live together, it can resemble a happy family, but usually at least one of the partners reserves the right, in case of too great difficulties, to leave them simply by breaking off relations (especially since from an external point of view this will not be difficult to do). ). The consciousness of this inevitably leaves an imprint on the very atmosphere in the family - even in moments when nothing portends a possible conflict, partners still cannot be completely sure of each other, there is a feeling of insecurity, especially for a woman. According to the data of modern psychologists, for most couples, marriage contributes to the harmonization of life; a woman gets rid of a lot of anxieties, she gains confidence in her partner, the fear of an unwanted pregnancy disappears.
There is an opinion among young people that love is a sufficient justification for sexual intimacy, even if both partners understand that most likely their relationship will not end in marriage.
Let's take a step back from this question first. Let's take a look at two people. Every word and expression we use in conversation contains certain information. If we use certain concepts too often and for other purposes, then over time they will depreciate, lose their deep meaning. The same applies to love. If you say “I love you” to everyone, it will be very difficult to express love that is truly exceptional and unique. Each of us has a desire for a deep and sincere feeling for life, for mutual relationships, which also have a sexual dimension. Therefore, it will be much wiser if we save sexual intimacy for the relationship with our future spouse. Then our marriage will truly become a unique, unrepeatable relationship.
Christianity and Islam: similarities and differences. Details about religions, their similarities and differences.
Since ancient times, people have been divided into dozens of religions, but at present, if you do not take into account a small percentage of the world's population, people are divided into Muslims and Christians. Both religions believe in one God and the creation of the Earth, but the similarities between the beliefs end there. In this article, we will provide clear examples of the similarities and differences between the two religions, as well as how religion affects both us and the country as a whole.
How do Muslim social and family orders, way of life differ from Christian ones: comparison, similarities and differences
Both religions originated over 2000 years ago, and thanks to their adoption by certain rulers, they became widespread and left an invaluable imprint on our lives. What country do you live in? In Christian or Muslim? It is enough to answer this question and a lot of things can be said about you, your foundations, holidays, worldview.
Religious family - harmony and peace
Tell me, you are not an atheist and religion does not wag on you? But you go on holidays with the rest of the society of your country, don't you? But they are 99% due to religion. And attitudes towards marriage, the number of children, communication with parents, and even the timing of leaving the parental nest - everything has religious roots. We can deny our involvement in faith, but it tightly envelops our lives and directly affects the course of our thoughts and actions.
We provide a table of similarities and differences, as well as how religion affects our lives.
| Christianity | Islam | |
| Relation to the One God | Christianity preaches love for God, his acceptance in his heart. At the same time, it is assumed that after losing faith for a while, you can later regain it, love God, etc. | Islam preaches the recognition of the One God Allah as the highest power from birth and does not allow any deviations during life. |
| The supposed response of the one God to the sins of man | A person, despite the severity of sin, can sincerely repent and be forgiven. | A person must remember the commandments, and not violate them under any circumstances. But it is worth remembering that many actions are allowed in Islam that are strictly prohibited in Christianity. |
| Attitude towards society and enemies | Christianity preaches to love your neighbor as yourself, as well as to forgive enemies and not accumulate evil and resentment. The commandments that must be followed are important: no envy, no temptation by other people's achievements and beauty, no waste and no overeating. It is also important to be kind and help both your neighbor and your enemy. | Islam preaches to treat others as brothers and strictly follow the commandments. At the same time, a Muslim necessarily fights evil, both with himself and with his enemies. It is worth noting that in this case the commandment says to kill enemies if they do not go over to the side of good. |
| Holidays, rituals, activities | A variety of services, prayers, fasts that are recommended to attend and adhere to, but for many there are many indulgences and variations. The main and at the same time striking people from other religions is communion, taking wine as the blood of Christ and bread as flesh. |
Five responsibilities that must not be violated: · Adherence to Islam — “There is no God but Allah, and Mohammed is his gift”; · Pray five times a day, strictly observing the rules and sequence; · Strictly observe fasting in Ramadan; · At least once in a lifetime Hajj to Mecca. |
What is the difference between Muslims and Christians in relation to the family, gender equality, the elderly?
The foundations in the family are a clear echo of religion, reinforced by centuries-old orders in the state. Christians have always been equal with women, according to religion, a man should have only one living wife (in case of death he is allowed to take a new one), with whom he will live in sorrow and in joy, sharing glory and trouble together. But Muslims can have several wives, and even several concubines. But before taking a wife, he is obliged to confirm his solvency and the fact that he will be able to adequately support his wife / wives and children who will appear in marriage.
It would seem that Christian women are definitely more fortunate, especially at the present time, where there is complete equality. But now, women, looking again at the situation, are increasingly saying that the benefits are not so good, because they are not only responsible for the household and raising children, but often they also become breadwinners in families.
In Muslim countries, as well as in Christian ones, divorces are allowed today. But in Islamic countries, children stay with their father, who provides for them, educates them and prepares them for adulthood. But in Christian countries, after a divorce, fathers often cool off towards their children and do not pay them due attention. In most cases, the mother is fully responsible for the maintenance and upbringing.
Christians treat their parents with respect, but having taken off from the parental nest, they go on their life path, helping their parents more remotely. But Islam, on the contrary, preaches complete reverence and obedience to parents. As long as the parents are alive, men consult with them on all important occasions, thereby emphasizing their importance.
Similarities and differences between the Muslim faith and the Christian: a comparison
| Islam | Christianity | |
| Number of Gods | Single | Single |
| Number of saints and angels | Lots of | Lots of |
| Does religion deny polytheism (paganism) | Yes, but Islam preaches that people who do not believe in Allah are enemies, and it is necessary to fight with them, because this is a fight against evil. But nowadays there is more and more tolerance and appeasement in the teachings. | Yes, in every possible way pulling the pagans to their side, although in the Middle Ages there were also the Crusades. |
| Is God insubstantial? | No, spirituality is not an attribute of Allah. | Yes, God is the highest power, and we, our souls and everything around God created from his particles. |
| Is God the purest love? | No, Allah is the highest power, in which there is both love and negative qualities that punish the unbelievers. | Yes, God in Christianity is all-forgiving and loving of his creatures. |
| God and cunning | Yes, because as it is written in the Qur'an "Allah is the best of cunning" | No, in Christianity lies and cunning are inherent only to the devil. |
What faith was before: Christian or Muslim
Despite heated debate, historians have proven that Judaism, Christianity and Islam came from a single source with a difference of 500-1000 years. Like everything new that was born in ancient times, it was not recorded, and given that for the sake of distribution and popularization, religion was often shrouded in multi-layered legends, mystery, etc. the exact date of creation is not known. Here are the reference points we know for sure:
- Christianity counts from the first birthday of Jesus. That is, this year is 2018 years from the beginning of the countdown;
- Muslims began the countdown from the birth of the Prophet Muhammad 570-632 AD.
But Judaism was at the origins, since those who denied the resurrection of Jesus created their offshoot - Judaism.
What unites Muslim and Christian religions?
As you noticed, in both religions there is one God, to whom both people and Angels are completely subordinate. God can both encourage and punish, as well as forgive for sins. In both religions, God is the highest authority that helps us live, thanks to whom we live.
The role of church and religion in the life of Muslims and Christians: a comparison
Christians go to church on holidays, true believers for every service on Sunday. Islam does not require this, and it is enough to go to the mosque on holidays and when the soul requires it. But a prerequisite is a five-time prayer daily.
Concerning the influence of religion on the daily life of man:
- It is believed that Christians break their commandments more often, because they subsequently hope for the forgiveness of sins;
- Muslims carefully observe the commandments, since Allah can become angry and significantly worsen the life of not only a person, but also his descendants.
Video: Islam, Christianity Judaism - why there are several religions
1. In Islam, a Muslim family is created on the basis of legal marriage, called nikah.
The institution of marriage exists in all religions, and they are based on certain principles. Without a marriage contract, there can be no question of a normal family. Marriage protects a person from promiscuity, sexually transmitted diseases and various problems. In addition, marriage prevents incest.
2. Through marriage, the upbringing of family members in the desired direction and the acquisition of morality is ensured.
According to the principles of Islam, the responsibility for this lies with the head of the family. In the Quran, Allah Almighty commands:
“O you who believe! Protect yourself and your families from the Fire, the kindling of which will be people and stones. Sura at-Tahrim, 66/6.
On this occasion, Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
“Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler is a shepherd (for his subjects) and is responsible for his flock, a man is a shepherd for his family and is responsible for his flock, a woman is a shepherd in her husband's house and is responsible for her flock, a servant is a shepherd for his master's property and is responsible for his flock, (so) each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. Bukhari
In Islam, it is the threads of iman (faith) that bind people together, and only after that there is a blood connection. Therefore, some unbelieving family members remain outside the family concept. When the Prophet Nuh (alayhissalam) prayed to Allah with a request to save his son from the flood, Allah Almighty said:
“Oh Nuh (Noah)! He is not part of your family, and such an act is not righteous. Don't ask Me about what you don't know. Verily, I call upon you not to be one of the ignorant.” Sura Hud 11/46
As you can see, the son of Nuh was his son by blood, but due to disbelief, he was not counted as a member of the family, while Muhammad (alaihi salat wa salam) considered Salman Farisi, a Persian by nationality, with whom he did not have any family ties.
3. The Islamic family is based on love and mutual respect between parents and children.
Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was very merciful to his children and members of his family. He (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) loved children very much and played with them all the time. Hazrat Aisha (radiyallahu anha) said that once one of the inhabitants of the desert came to the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) and asked:
- O Rasulullah! Do you kiss children? And we never caress or kiss children.
Muhammad (PBUH) replied:
- What can I do if Allah has deprived you of mercy and love. Bukhari, Adab, 22.
This episode shows that in Islam love and tenderness for children is of great importance. Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), putting Osama bin Zayd on one knee, Hasan’s grandson on the other and pressing both to his chest, prayed to Allah:
"God! Give them mercy and happiness, as I wish them well and good luck!” Bukhari, Adab, 18; Muslim, Fazail, 64.
This prayer of the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) shows his tenderness and love for children. Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) categorically forbade the uttering of curses in relation to children and urged them to wish them only happiness and goodness.
Anas (radiyallahu ankh) said:
“I served Muhammad (PBUH) for ten years. Seeing a flaw in my actions, he never once said to me: “It would be better if you acted differently!”
Women in the period of jahiliyya (in the pre-Islamic period) occupied such a low position on the social ladder that it was a strong insult to the fair half. The Arabs, fearing that their daughters would lead an immoral lifestyle in the future, buried them alive in the ground. Hearts, petrified and devoid of mercy, dictated such cruel laws in order to protect themselves from the immorality that is the result of ignorance. Allah in Surah an-Nahl describes the state of these ignoramuses in the following way:
“When one of them is announced the birth of a daughter, his face darkens, and he becomes sad.” Sura An-Nahl, 16/58
Slave women were objects of insults and ridicule, and at the same time toys for pleasure.
With the advent of Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), an institute of jurisprudence was created, in which a huge place is given to the rights of women. Now the woman has taken her rightful place in society, where she was elevated to the podium and surrounded by respect and reverence. The greatest achievement of Islam is the institution of mothers. By the saying of the Prophet (S.A.V.) “Paradise under the feet of mothers,” women received the deserved attention.
The following incident is an example of the sensitive attitude of the Prophet (peace be upon him) towards women.
During one of the campaigns, a slave named Anas, singing songs, accelerated the run of camels. Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), worried that women, due to their delicate structure, would experience inconvenience, made a subtle hint to the slave, expressing himself in this way: “Hey, Anas! Be careful not to break the glass!"
In another hadith, Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
“From the mundane, I fell in love with women and beautiful smells. Prayer was made for me the light of my eyes.”
Women and pleasant smells are really important blessings given to us by Allah in this life.
In order for earthly life to pass in an atmosphere of happiness and peace, a righteous woman plays a very important role. She keeps the property, protects the hearth, keeps the house in order and observes the honor of the owner. A woman fills the house with happiness and love. Family happiness begins with motherly love. Any clouds of adversity and sorrows dissipate with a woman's smile. Is there anything more tender, more sensitive than a mother's heart that sings songs of happiness and tenderness?
Mothers are divine creatures who have absorbed the mercy of Allah. A woman's happiness begins from the first moment of motherhood. The hadith of the Prophet "Paradise under the feet of mothers" is highly appreciated and emphasizes the special role of women in human life.
Delicate scents are waves of pleasure, enveloping the soul, bringing relief and freshness. Beautiful smells conceal delights that even such radiant creatures as angels enjoy.
One of the hadiths says:
"The best of you is the one who treats his family well."
“Sacrifice given to oneself, family and children is sadaqah.” (Sadaqah is a form of charity.)
With these expressions, Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) shows us that a healthy family is based only on sincere love.
On the other hand, children should also show proper respect for their parents. This is especially important at a time when parents reach old age and need attention and help.
Allah Almighty has commanded: “Your Lord has commanded you not to worship anyone but Him, and to do good to your parents. If one of the parents or both reach old age, then do not say to them: “Ugh!” Don't yell at them and treat them respectfully. Bow before them the wing of humility in your mercy and say: “Lord! Have mercy on them, because they raised me as a child. Sura Al-Isra, 17/23-24.
Abu Umama (radiyallahu ankh) narrates:
“Once someone asked the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam): “O Messenger of Allah! What are the rights of parents?
Muhammad replied:
“Thanks to them you can enter Heaven or go to Hell. So treat them with that in mind." Ibn Maja. Adab, 1.
On this occasion, Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) issued the following warning:
“Allah is pleased (with a person) when the parents are pleased. Allah is angry when parents are angry.
Abdullah b. Amr (radiyallahu ankh) said:
“One of the Muslims came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said:
- O Rasulullah! I wish to take part in jihad with you.
The Prophet (PBUH) asked him:
- Do you have parents?
He replied that there is. Then the Prophet ordered him:
– Stay close to them, for this is your jihad. Serve them!
Muhammad (PBUH) said:
“The mercy of Allah depends on whether the father is pleased with his children. The wrath of Allah depends on the wrath of the parents."
In one of his sermons, the Prophet (peace be upon him) exclaimed:
"Let him be dragged with his nose on the ground, let him be dragged with his nose on the ground!"
Surprised companions asked: “O Rasulullah! Who are you talking about?" He answered them:
“Let them do this to such a person who, when one or both parents grew old next to him, could not deserve Paradise (by serving them).
But for all that, there is such an important factor as the responsibilities of parents.
The father is the head of the family and therefore he is responsible for both the social and religious condition of the family. The maintenance and upbringing of the child until he reaches the age of majority, his teaching of compulsory knowledge - all this is the duty of the father. He must teach the child himself or send him to the teacher. In this matter, the mother is the assistant to the father and is responsible after the head of the family. But the role of the mother in the upbringing of girls is especially important.
Fulfilling one's parental duties means fulfilling one's obligations to Allah. All efforts and labors, costs and expenses committed for the family for the sake of the mercy of Allah are good deeds, serving people. The best service is the acquisition of beautiful qualities, because through this, Paradise awaits a person. Fine morals are the cause of salvation for wealthy families as well as for poor ones, so everyone should strive to acquire good character traits and learn fine manners.
The main duties of the head of the family were defined by the Prophet (peace be upon him) as follows.
The father must:
1) give the child a good name;
2) to teach reading and writing, that is, to teach the necessary knowledge;
3) when the child reaches marriageable age, marry him.
As you can see, both children and parents have certain rights and obligations, therefore, family comfort and harmony can only be expected when all members of society and families fulfill their duties.
Long ago, the Tatars built their family life on the basis of the Koran and the Sunnah. It was religion that largely served the formation of Tatar culture and traditions. Religion kept the moral values of the Tatars from eroding, which is a necessary norm for the existence of society. The family has always been highly valued and appreciated by the Tatars, and marriage is considered a natural necessity. Among the Tatars, as well as among other peoples professing Islam, marriage was considered a sacred duty of a Muslim: " A person who is married has more merit before God than the most devout Muslim who remains a bachelor».
The traditional Tatar-Muslim family is monogamous, because by the beginning of the 19th century, cases of polygamy among the Tatars had become extremely rare. Despite the unconditionally patriarchal nature of the Tatar-Muslim family, in the tradition of the Tatar people, the role of women has always been high, both in the family and social life of society.
The basic principles of traditional family etiquette, which was based on impeccable respect and honoring the elders by the younger ones, parents by the children, diligence, are preserved in most Tatar families. Husband's parents and grandparents enjoy special respect. Also Islam enjoins men to take care of their mothers, sisters, daughters and wives. Tatars show a special relationship to their mother. In one of the authentic hadiths it is said that Heaven is under mother's feet”(An-Nasai), which means that the attitude towards her determines the well-being of a man in this and the next life.
General Provisions on Marriage in Islam
Islam pays special attention to marriage and in every possible way encourages a person to enter into it when he reaches the age of majority, if he is ready for this physically, morally and financially. The Almighty created a man - the forefather of mankind Adam- and created a wife for him from his own flesh - Hava so that in their union they find comfort and rest, find peace and tranquility. The Creator of all things said:
O people! We created you male and female and made younations and tribes, that you may know one another. Indeed, the noblest among you in the sight of Allah is the most pious. Indeed, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware!
Holy Quran, 49:13
The family is a sign of the Almighty:
Of His signs - thatHe has made wives for you out of yourselves to live with them, arranged love and mercy among you. Verily, in this is a sign for the people who meditate!
Holy Quran, 30:21
Also, marriage is Sunnah and the quality inherent in the prophets and the righteous, the groundless refusal to create a family is unacceptable and condemned by Islam. The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) said: “ Marriage is my Sunnah, whoever avoids my Sunnah avoids me."(Ibn-Maja).
There are many divine and prophetic sayings in which it is unambiguously recommended to enter into marriage not only in order to avoid entering the path of error, depravity and adultery, but also in order to gain the benefits of this and the next life.
The only right way to start a family in Islam- this is the conclusion of a legal marriage, i.e. NIKACH but. According to the canons of Islamic law, marriage can only be concluded between a man and a woman and only by their mutual consent. Talking about getting married Islam, it is worth noting that this is not just a way to legitimately satisfy your physiological desires, but much more: it is the best that you can have from worldly goods in this life.
Family - this is the only kind of worship
which can continue in the eternal world.
Theologian Ibn Abidin said: " There is no worship to be establishedfrom the time of Adam and would have existed to this day, and then had a continuation in the next life, except for marriage».
Muslim marriage refers to a union concluded between a man and a woman in accordance with the laws of Islamic law. These laws are implemented by the Tatars through the prism of the Hanafi legal school, which is the source of family law in most Muslim countries of the world. In this regard, Sharia norms or theological conclusions (fatwas) regarding family and marriage relations and produced on the territory of the spiritual administrations of central Russia should be made in accordance with the Hanafi legal school.
Islamic marriage ( nikah) in our country has no legal force, i.e. according to the laws of the Russian Federation, it is not considered valid, therefore, in order to protect the rights of family members, newlyweds must register their marriage with the registry office. Allah Almighty said:
Obey Allah, obey the Messenger andrulers among you.
Holy Quran, 4:59
Based on this verse, some theologians conclude that for Muslims, the laws of their region of residence, which do not contradict Sharia, are as binding as other Sharia laws.
It is worth noting that a marriage that was concluded only in the organsThe registry office often complies with the rules for concluding an Islamic marriage (nikah). Therefore, it is not entirely correct to assume thata certain number of ethnic Muslims who got married in the registry office and did not perform the Islamic ritual of marriage at the same time are considered adulterers.
You should also pay attention to the fact that the dissolution of marriage in the registry offices often complies with the Islamic rules for the dissolution of marriage and therefore breaks the Islamic marriage, i.e. going on talaq.
Divorce (talaq)
According to the canons of Islamic law, divorce occurs only as a result of the voluntary or forced will of the husband. Forced will is the result of the work of kazyyats, who have the right to dissolve Muslim marriages, based on the laws of Islamic law.
Since in Islam dissolution of marriage is not welcome, which is confirmed by the saying of the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) “ The most hated oflazy deeds before the Almighty - divorce”(Ibn Maja, Abu Dawood), Muslim spouses and the Muslim community should make every effort to save the family.
And if you fear a rupture between the two, then send a judge from his family and a judge from her family; if they desire reconciliation, then Allah will help them. Indeed, Allah is Knower, Knower!
Holy Quran, 4:35
This revelation indicates the need for the existence of a certain body that would perform the functions of a peacemaker, would resolve common family problems, etc. The system of kazyyats, functioning in a number of DUMs, in particular, in Tatarstan, can be used as a model.
The decision to dissolve a marriage does not come all at once; it is often preceded by a number of factors. Some of them are formed during marriage, and some are present in the spouses before marriage. To preserve and strengthen the family, it is necessary to study and prevent these factors. The entire Muslim community should be involved in this extremely important process of prevention: parents laying in the future husband and wife the correct life principles and guidelines; spiritual leaders of Muslims; heads of parishes and teachers of Islamic educational institutions.
The heads of regions and municipalities are also interested in preserving the marriage. These bodies carry out preventive work among the population in the following issues:
- correct alignment of priorities of moral qualities of future spouses;
In this issue, Islam calls us to focus on the religiosity of the future life partner. Prophet(s.a.v.) said: “ A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her status, her beauty, and her piety. So get pious!"(Bukhari). Saying Prophet Muhammad(s.a.v.) does not exclude such qualities as wealth, social status and beauty, moreover, any other good qualities can contribute to marriage.
- attitude to interethnic marriages;
According to the canons of Islamic law, interethnic marriages are not prohibited or condemned. This is confirmed by the fact that Prophet(s.a.v.) passed off Muslim women of his tribe as Muslims of non-Arab origin.
At the same time, it is necessary to see the difference between the permissibility of interethnic marriages and the chaotic mixing of peoples and races. Given the Sharia permissibility of such marriages, a Muslim should not forget that he and his future children belong to one particular people, since national identity and devotion to traditions that comply with Sharia are a manifestation of piety. Weak in reliability, but correct in meaning, the saying of our blessed Prophet Muhammad(s.a.v.) reads: “ Love for the motherland is a manifestation of faith"(As-Sakhavi. Al-maqasid al-husna).
The theologians of the Hanafi madhhab tried to convey a similar meaning to us, who believed that a groom who converted to Islam and did not have Muslim ancestors does not correspond to a Muslim woman whose father and grandfathers are Muslims. This provision indicates that the difference in the cultural and religious values of the husband and wife may subsequently affect the strength of the marriage bond.
A wife who marries a representative of another nationality must initially know and understand that her children follow the nationality of her husband, and the husband, respecting the nationality and traditions of his wife, must nevertheless instill in the children a sense of belonging to his family.
In order to avoid dissolution of a marriage, one should be extremely prudent about the likelihood of marriages between extremely dissimilar peoples and races. The parent, mainly the father of the bride, is responsible for the correct choice of the future spouse, he also has the full right to prevent marriage if the potential spouse does not fit the bride according to the eligibility criteria.
- promotion of traditional family values;
Article 19 of the Constitution of the Russian Federation states that a man and a woman have equal rights and equal opportunities for their implementation, thus the propaganda of an egalitarian family is supported by law, which to a certain extent complicates the prevention of patriarchal family foundations.
However, theory often diverges from practice, because despite such a democratization of society, the spouse is often the only breadwinner in the family, and the woman, according to tradition, should devote all her free time to household chores and childcare.
The gender principle of the relationship between men and women is prescribed in the following Qur'anic verse:
Husbands are superior to wives because Allah has given one an advantage over the other, and because they spend out of their wealth. And decent women are reverent, keep a secret in what Allah keeps.
Holy Quran, 4:34
It should be noted that the Almighty linked the supremacy of the husband over the wife with the fact that the husband takes on all the material costs associated with the maintenance of the family. But the current economic situation of the average Muslim family forces both spouses to work, and it must be borne in mind that this state of affairs gives the woman the moral right to make decisions unilaterally to the extent that she financially participates in the formation of the family budget.
At the same time, full female employment takes the child out of the family upbringing process into an upbringing process regulated by the state system, which is far from Islamic religious and moral family principles.
According to the Kazan Muslim Court (kazyyat), the main reason for the dissolution of a marriage is the complete or partial financial failure of the husband to support his wife. In order to avoid divorce, it is necessary to prevent, as far as possible, marriages in which the material contribution of the husband will be noticeably less than that of his wife.
Therefore, the theologians of the Hanafi legal school entrusted the control of this issue to the father of the bride and called it "controlling the conformity of the husband to his wife (kafa'a)". If the husband’s material contribution is less than the wife’s, but at the same time it covers all the basic needs of the family, then there is nothing reprehensible in such an arrangement of financial roles, provided that the wife’s material wealth will not be burdened with any obligations.
- prevention of a healthy lifestyle;
According to psychologists, the most common causes of divorce are problems of an intimate nature, adultery, alcoholism, drug addiction and financial insolvency of a man. Most of these reasons, one way or another, are related to the unhealthy lifestyle of spouses. Our blessed Prophet Muhammad(s.a.v.) said: “ A strong (healthy) Muslim is better than a weak (sick) Muslim, although there is goodness in both of them."(Muslim).
Islam in every way encourages to lead a healthy lifestyle, while prohibiting the use of various kinds of alcoholic and narcotic substances. A huge number of divorces, crimes and deaths occur due to drug addiction and alcoholism, the fight against which is becoming almost the main task of the entire Muslim community. Prophet Muhammad(s.a.v) said: “ Stay away from wine (everything that deprives you of reason), truly wine is the mother of all vices"(An-Nasai).
In this regard, the establishment of systematic work to inform the population about the devastating consequences of alcohol and drug addiction, the organization of spiritual and medical rehabilitation centers, charitable (waqf) funds that support the rehabilitation of alcohol and drug addicts, as well as their families, propaganda of the ideas of social responsibility of citizens for the fate future generations of Muslims is highly relevant.
- control over observance of the rights and obligations of spouses;
After marriage, a husband and wife are assigned a number of rights and obligations, the failure to fulfill which is unacceptable and sinful.
Wife in relation to her husband has a number of rights, some of them property rights, such as marriage ransom(mahr), content (nafaka), and some are non-property: such as protection from physical and moral injuries on the part of the husband.
Husband in relation to his wife, he has only two rights, they are both non-property, this is the obedience of his wife and the right to engage in her religious and moral education. The right to inherit from each other and the right to marital intimacy are rights that spouses enjoy equally.
To address these issues, it is proposed to introduce into practice the conclusion of marriage contracts during or after state registration. Prenuptial agreements clearly prescribe: the procedure for incurring family expenses, both during marriage and after it; a regime of separate ownership of all property and other property rights, strengthening and strengthening family ties.
It is also necessary to strengthen the role of the institution of kazyyats, which will conduct consultative and educational work among the Muslim population. It is recommended to strengthen the work on preventing the formation of unstable family relations through lectures, seminars and round tables on the Islamic model of the family.
Muslim family and state
Fundamental family principles taught in Islam, does not always correspond to the legal norms of the Russian Federation, however, in general, both legal systems pursue the same goals and objectives in matters of family and marriage.
For example, the policy of the Russian Federation to solve the demographic problem of Russia, which provides for the revival of the spiritual and moral traditions of the family, is fully consistent with the Islamic strategy of increasing the number of Muslims. The ideological basis of such a strategy correlates with the following saying Prophet Muhammad(s.a.v.): " Take as wives those who are able to give birth, who love their husbands, because I will be proud of your multiplicity on the Day of Judgment"(Ahmad, Abu Dawood).
Meanwhile, every year in Russia about 8 million children are born out of wedlock, the number of cases of deprivation of parental rights is growing from year to year, in this regard, the law on supporting foster families, orphans and children left without parental care, confirms universal and Islamic family principles. The Almighty said:
And they ask you about orphans. Say: doing good to them is good.
Holy Quran, 2:220
The Creator of all things also said:
Not inpiety is that you turn your faces towards the east and west; and to orphans, and to the poor, and to travelers, and to those who ask, and to slaves, and stood up prayer, and gave cleansing, - and those who fulfill their covenants, when they make, and are patient in misfortune and distress and in time of trouble, - these are those who were truthful, they are God-fearing.
Holy Quran, 2:177
