The question of trust in relationships is one of the most important and at the same time the most painful. Because it affects all the basic female fears. The need to trust puts a woman's safety at risk in the event of deceit. Therefore, girls are always kind of on their guard. Why is it important to trust your loved one, and most importantly - how to learn to trust a man.
What is trust, how does it arise and why is it important in a relationship between a man and a woman? How to overcome doubts and fears? Why does the saying "Trust but verify" make no sense? What to do if a man betrayed your trust, is it possible to learn to trust after deceit? We will look for answers to these questions in this article.
On the importance of being able to trust a man
How do psychologists define the concept of trust? The ability to trust is usually understood as the state of partners in a relationship, in which they endow each other with a part responsibility for myself . That is, ideally, neither you nor your man should be in a relationship separately. And there should be "we". And your total a responsibility for this "we".
No one knows you like your beloved man. You reveal yourself completely to him , all sides of your personality . And he reveals himself to you. You set your own internal rules, separate responsibilities and zones responsibility.
I want to emphasize right away - you do not give up yourself as a person. Do not sit on a man's neck, hang your legs and say: "Well, that's it, I'm yours now, you are responsible for me." You mutually and voluntarily distribute a responsibility for your common "we". And then a real intimacy arises between the two people. The ability to understand and accept each other. Loving another person.
I hope you do not have a question about why this is important for the development of relations? We are talking about basic deep human needs. About the reason why couples enter into an alliance. Of course, a man and a woman can also be in contractual partnerships that are not based on love. But even such relationships need trust.
Because, in addition to satisfying the need for love and intimacy, relationships are always a joint path to somewhere and to something. And you can follow it only if you trust your partner. Otherwise you will stumble all the time, stop, go back . So you will not get anywhere, and you will lose relationships.
On the reasons for mistrust in a couple. Female suspiciousness
Despite the fact that both in a relationship feel the need and need to trust a loved one, it almost always happens difficult. You move closer and further away incessantly. Waiting for a hit and afraid of disappointment. Why is this happening? The reasons usually lie in the depths of your psyche, and now we will try to understand the main ones.
Loss of basic trust in the world
Psychologists designate the term "basic trust in the world" a general attitude towards the surrounding person reality. If the world seems to you a place full of threats and dangers, and people are deceivers, just waiting to use you comfortably for their own purposes, then basic trust has been lost, or very low.
And vice versa - expectations that the world is open to you and life is fair, and people - benevolent and honest , the basic trust is high . Naturally, you are always somewhere between these polar states, approaching, depending on the circumstances, first to one, then to the other pole.
It is believed that basic trust is laid in us through the attitude of our mother towards us in the first year of life. If she is attentive and sensitive to all our signals of discomfort, the basic trust is high. Conversely , a cold and casual attitude lays the foundation for future trust difficulties in general .
Evaluation of the actions of another person "on their own"
It's about that property of human nature, when we suspect others of what we ourselves are capable of. That is, you suspect your partner of what you yourself are prone to - lies, betrayal, anger. You perceive a man through the prism of his own personality flaws. For example, you know that you are capable of betrayal, and you conclude that it means that he, too, can betray you.
Low sense of self worth
Deep down, subconsciously, you believe that you deserve to be betrayed. Deceived, offended, abandoned. This deep belief is constantly confirmed, because in full accordance with it you surround yourself. relevant people. Who treat you the way you expect them to. It is impossible to learn to trust in this vicious circle, because you constantly receive confirmation of this belief.
emotional trauma
The sad experience of destroyed trust - plays a cruel joke with a woman's ability to trust a man. Unconsciously, we transfer the experience of past relationships into existing ones. But after all, not all people are the same, and you can’t put an equal sign between your past and current partner. But the fear of the pain that you experienced, the unwillingness to make a mistake again, leads to the fact that you have to learn to trust a man again.
Male behavior provoking female distrust
Women often misinterpret male behavior. Because men and women are very different from each other. Because they start from the wrong premises. They judge by their own behavior, for example.
Let's see what male character traits and actions prevent a woman from learning to trust.
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Closeness, low emotionality
It occurs among men much more often than among women. Hidden by nature, introverts do not need large amounts of communication, do not show their feelings even to the closest, dearest people.
It seems that such a person, in principle, is not capable of and does not need intimacy. At certain moments, it can push even a loved one away from itself, withdraw into itself and break off contact. Being in a relationship with such a person is very difficult, even if you have already become close. A woman will constantly doubt her value and need for a man, and therefore - in the sincerity of his feelings.
The same goes for not being able to show your feelings, demonstrate emotions . Men, in principle, have a narrower emotional range than women - boys are brought up more strictly in this sense, they do not encourage the manifestation of emotions.
Not all women understand this. Low emotionality they take it for insincerity, they think that since a man means that he does not feel anything.
Remember the main thing - your behavior means a lot to a man, but if there is no harmony at the level of signs, then the relationship will be very tense. It is very desirable to know exact match exactly your zodiac sign with the sign of a man. This can be done by clicking on the button below:
Strict adherence to one's own personal boundaries
Some men express it very clearly, sometimes even aggressively. They painfully perceive the slightest intrusion into their personal space, they do not like it when they use their personal belongings. One gets the impression that he is afraid that you will find something that you do not need to see.
But this is often not the case. Just a property of a person that requires some space, including physical space, where no one has access. This should not prevent you from trusting him, you cannot change him, you will have to learn to accept this state of affairs.
provocative behavior
There are men directly provoking women on suspicion with their behaviour. Deliberately not talking about their plans, not responsible on the telephone, v your presence. Trend so way teach you what—then or punish per misses v any case is talking O problems With trust. Already at this specific men. So what to study trust friend friend to you have to together.
Unusual values
Excellent from generally accepted representation O volume, what Okay, a what Badly. Here relate such things, For example, how spacing physical and spiritual treason. That there is men With such system values convinced, what sex without feelings – not treason, a means, quite allowable v relations.
you can whether you trust such man and build With him full-fledged relationship — solve only to you. Insofar as people With similar beliefs rarely hide their, the whole question only v volume, to you not built illusions, what you can their change.
How bring up v yourself skill trust man
If you, having analyzed situation v relations, understand, what none reasons for mistrust at you No, but you all equals not you can , use next general recommendations.
Work co their neuroses and fears
V paragraph O basic trust To the world we spoke O volume, what basics our domestic problems With trust are laid v our psyche With childhood. Difficult psychological climate v family, divorce parents, cold co sides mothers and much other contribute mine considerable contribution v our ability trust people.
Contact To professional, find roots their problems and key beliefs, interfering to you learn to trust.
Next important stage, on the which to you So same not interfere help psychologist – Work co fears. Search their true reasons. If you not trust man, waiting treason – it alone fears. If trying humiliate his and prove, what he neither on the what not able and nothing not achieve – at all other.
The main thing, To what you come v result – what causes these fears not v men and not in external world, a v you most. Uncertainty and dissatisfaction yourself, failure to on one's own to rule his life, unwillingness take on the myself a responsibility even per myself – here possible causes such fears. Discovering their, you you can work With them and reduce pressure on the his partner.
Rate influence mistrust on the your relationship With a man
Necessary Mark, what healthy share mistrust – it protective trait our psyche. She protects US from pain and possible problems. But if pursuit your control man all of a sudden came out per limits reasonable – look, how it affects on the domestic climate your relations.
For sure you both twitchy and fence off and moving away friend from friend With each afternoon. Scales consequences mistrust help estimate perniciousness his influence, and learn to trust man will much simpler.
We are persecuting away negative installations
If to you peculiar constantly convince myself v how—then like statements how « people trust it is forbidden» or « Everything men — …» — do some work above them. Loosen their gradually, check on the truth. A truth whether all familiar to you men … ? Maybe be, among them there is though one, worthy your his admiration? If it So – it false installation, her necessary adjust, lead v conformity With reality.
So gradually you start think v more positive vein.
Raise self-esteem
Roots many difficulties With trust lie v understated self-esteem. . Praise myself per successes, concentrate on the positive reverse connections, compliments. stop study self-abasement, if what—then not it turns out.
Remember – you deserve good relationship To yourself, shift focus attention on the good deeds, committed by whom—then for you.
Not get stuck on the his man
get distracted from thoughts O man, and not drain at all their personal borders. Big part men not especially understands female ability dissolution, complete diving v partner and their the senses. Quicker, she their scares. That's why what really it it is forbidden name adequate behavior.
Instill yourself some autonomy, wind up their interests, hobby, hobbies. Spend good time without partner, know how rejoice life how near With him, So and v his absence. Then you not you will paranoid be jealous and man, needy v his personal leisure, So how understand, what v this No nothing dangerous.
Confidence after deceit
V end want to tell several words, how learn to trust man, which the once already deceived your confidence.The main thing, what will help to you – it faith v the best v your man, v then, what he cope, and v next once not will do With you vile way. If the male asks you O second chance – give him his. Help make amends guilt. Necessarily sorry.Certainly, let, figuratively speaking, wipe about myself legs not costs – if the male deceives once per at once, but oathfully promises – more neither—neither – believe him it is forbidden. If you do it – you deceiving themselves myself.
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Find out the exact compatibility with a man by clicking on the button below.
Without trust, there is no love. And what to do if trust has been undermined so many times that there is practically nothing left of it. Statistics say that 79% of families have this problem. So how do you learn to trust your man?
Inga Admiralskaya (psychologist):
First, let's figure out what prevents you from trusting? Anxiety, fear, bad past experience, doubts - you can add to this list yourself, because everyone has faced the problem of distrust. What “takes away” distrust from a relationship? Intimacy, joy, the ability to accept support, lean on another, and so on, the list is endless. Distrust is destructive, and if you want to get rid of it, try this: every time you notice this in yourself, immediately ask yourself the question: “What is happening? Why do I feel distrust of my partner right now? Did he really do something that confuses me, or am I winding myself up, resentments and disappointments of the past speak in me? If you are truly confused by a particular action your man has taken, carefully ask what he meant when he did and said the things that made you distrustful. This procedure is called a reality check. It helps to test how viable your suspicions are, whether they are relevant to this specific situation or are the product of your imagination.
Maria Razbash (psychologist, trainer at the Center for Positive Psychology):
Any harmonious relationship built on trust. If you want to trust each other, then you need to:
1. Learn to see only those relationships in which you are now. Forget all previous experiences, especially negative ones. After all, what happens to us most often is what we are afraid of - it is not without reason that thought is considered material.
2. No need to see signs of betrayal in any situation. Sometimes being late to can be just being late. And if he did not immediately answer the call, then he really was at the authorities. Don't ask for a report.
3. Don't put your partner in an acquittal position. Do not make him report to you all the time about every step. Your constant reproaches from the category “Again with Sveta, you were late “on business”?” may suggest that Sveta fully deserves it special attention. Why create an atmosphere of heightened interest in other objects?
4. If you want trusting relationship, then proceed from the fact that the partner is absolutely honest with you. Stop checking his phone for dangerous texts and calls. This is very humiliating, both for him and for you.
5. In difficult situations, a sense of humor often saves. In a transparent situation, try not to catch your partner red-handed, but simply sympathize with him for what happened so awkwardly. Don't make scandals!
6. Try to see him in your partner best qualities and tell him about it. Emphasize that you trust him. Since this will make it easier to set him up for an open and honest relationship.
Keep in mind that vain suspicions can be a serious reason for a partner to do something illegal. The logic of the subconscious works as follows: if they suspect me, then at least not in vain!
And here is what our readers think about trust.
Trust is an integral part of any relationship, whether it be friendly communication, business cooperation or family relations. In order to be truly productive, it is important to be able to rely on a person…
Regardless of the nature of the situation, in order to achieve the expected result, it is important to trust others and yourself. Otherwise, paranoid thoughts will inevitably arise about whether everything possible has been done. Agree, it sows doubts. When something like this is in our head, we not only cannot trust a person, we see a catch in all his actions, hidden meaning. What kind of spiritual comfort in such a relationship, saturated with suspicion, can we talk about?
Many of us have experienced psychotherapeutic exercises as children. When you have to turn your back on another person, close your eyes and fall back, in the hope that you will be caught. Remember how it was? At first, the horror overwhelms: what if he fails, what if I fall. And what happened later when your partner picked you up? Be sure to experience this experience. This way you will understand what trust means to you, and experience unforgettably pleasant feelings when your fears are dispelled. You may realize that those around you will support you regardless of your distrust.
Relationships without trust
Often, without thinking about it at all, having difficulties with trust, we destroy relationships on our own. Girls sometimes think that their man is insincere with them. They are constantly checking in. They need proof of love every day. It is difficult to build mutual understanding in a couple where suspicion is constantly present.
Of course, in some respects there are real problems which breed mistrust. But here the question arises: why do you stay in a relationship with a man, having, for example, evidence of his infidelity. Yes, he will change you. Yes, you have a lot of hard facts. Yes, all your friends know. Yes, he does not hide his betrayals. Why are you in a relationship with a man you can't trust?
In our article, we are talking about relationships in which there is no manifestation of obvious disrespect for you. Here we raise distrust of men: when he seems to be trying to be with you, caring to the best of his ability, investing morally and financially in your relationship, but for some reason you still do not believe in the sincerity of his feelings.
Often relationships in which there is no trust turn into a series of constant checks. As the saying goes, he who seeks will always find. If you are initially convinced that a man does not have feelings for you or that he is cheating on you, are absorbed in looking for evidence, arrange checks, then sooner or later you will either provoke him into behavior that confirms your fears, or you will see the reasons for the inability to trust where in reality they were not.
Obviously, distrust does not appear just like that. Most likely, in your past experience there was something like that, after which it is difficult for you trust men or people around you in general. However, you see, the mistake or dishonesty of one person does not mean at all that everyone behaves this way. The world is diverse and so is humanity. Is your man to blame for the fact that you were once hurt very much? Now the consequences of your moral trauma are reflected in it. Believe me, constantly proving your love is an extremely difficult task. Does your current man deserve to suffer because you were once extremely hurt? How long will he have the strength to prove to you his reliability and devotion?
How to restore trust in a relationship?
In most cases, the problem of distrust in a couple arises due to the inability of one of the partners to objectively look at what is happening. Often problems of the past, fears, unhealed grievances, disappointments interfere in the relationship between a man and a woman. Having a negative experience, we try to warn ourselves against such shocks again. This is a normal defensive reaction. However, in some cases, this protection is beginning to interfere with us today - as if the past is destroying our present.
Sometimes a traumatic situation is so deeply hidden in our subconscious that we can’t even remember where this distrust of others came from. In such cases, it may be useful to seek the help of a psychologist. After all, if something prevents you from learning trust the man you love, you need to take drastic measures before you go too far in your checks and destroy relationships that are so dear to you. Take care of your love!
So, you realize that you are having trouble with distrust and you want to learn to trust your man. Remember that the path to changing yourself is not easy, you will need a lot of strength to cope with the traumatic situation of the past, which prevents you from building happy relationships in the present. Use the advice from Womanlove, which will allow you to take the first steps in building a trusting relationship in your couple.
- Enjoy what you have today. Avoid comparing your current relationship with how it was before, or with what is happening in the relationship of your acquaintances. Have fun with today, from the fact that now you are together. What will happen next, no one knows. If you feel good with each other today, enjoy it.
- Try to get rid of your suspiciousness and suspicion. Remember a simple rule: the less freedom a man has in a relationship, the more he wants to get it. If you try to control and limit him in communication with other people, do not doubt that he will strive for this. You won't be forced to be nice. Remember this. With your control, you will not save the relationship, but only increase the partner’s desire to part with you.
- Think optimistic. Remember that by taking the important step of giving a man the freedom he needs, you will inevitably immerse yourself in a situation of uncertainty. Once you're out of control, you won't know where he is. At this point, it is important to think positively. Don't invent creepy stories. Try to distract yourself from disturbing thoughts. Perhaps at the moment when he is late at work, he actually went to choose a gift for you, noticing that you have become more restrained and provided him with more freedom in the relationship.
- Be mindful of the mechanism for building trust. If you trust your partner, then he will inevitably begin to trust you, become more frank and sincere with you. Our behavior, of course, affects the behavior of the people around us, because everything in the world is interconnected. Treat people the way you would like them to treat you.
True love is impossible without trust. Try not to torment your man with constant checks, do not demand proof of the sincerity of his feelings. And soon you will notice that he himself will begin to treat you more affectionately, will become more open.
Of course, sometimes we still come across men who are not trustworthy. In the family, as they say ... Try to look at things realistically. Do not harbor unnecessary illusions, but do not invent non-existent difficulties. It is important to really see the need for distrust before suspecting a partner of something. In most cases, though we are talking about our own fears and desire not to step on the past, painful rake again. Try to be as objective as possible in your relationship.
It is in your power to bring comfort and peace to your personal life. Be happy, enjoy the relationship with your beloved man. Life is too short to waste it on reproaches, tests and expectations of future difficulties. If everything is fine between you today, this is a happy relationship. If there are difficulties now, it is in your power to find a way to cope with them.
How to let go of the fear of new relationships and learn to trust men again?
Does the return of trust depend on how much he disappointed you and the number of pieces your heart was broken into? Where is the guarantee that he won't do it again?
I am sure that you, many women, will want to know the answers to these very similar friend to other questions.
Do you want to know where they came from in this article? From my mailbox and personal consultations with women who asked for help in solving relationship problems. Including help with the return of lost trust:
How to learn to trust a man after what he did to me?
"My ex, how can I trust men after this?".
“I met a man through the Internet, he lied to me and tried to force me to send him money. How can I trust guys again after this?
“I thought my boyfriend wanted the same happy future together that I do. But instead of proposing to me, he broke up with me. I dedicated mine to him best years and received nothing in return.
I'm sure there are many such claims.
How to learn to trust men after that?
A lot of women with hearts in need of healing wounds are stuck somewhere between the assumption that "All men are bastards" and more and more fading hope to meet the prince on his thorny path of life.
If you have ever felt anything like this, keep reading this article and find out how just 3 simple steps will teach you to trust men again, no matter how badly your heart has been hurt in the past.
Step 1. Stop confusing trust in a man with the hope of meeting "prince handsome"
Let's start with a simple question.
What's happened "confidence"?
Well, how? There's an answer? Does it fit in 10 words or less? Or did your heart begin to beat frantically, and your brain just got confused by the snippets of phrases that come to mind? I asked this question to many women and almost all of them found it difficult to say what it means to them. "confidence" to a man. Why?
Because (this might sound a bit harsh) male point vision most women cannot learn "trust" men, because they simply do not know the meaning of the word.
Let's take a look at the definition of this word from the glossary of terms:
Trust (verb): to rely on something or someone, or to have confidence in someone or something.
I as a man can say what is for me "trust" someone means to be sure that he or she will ...
- do what he says;
- act in accordance with their nature;
- my cover in conflict or matters of the heart;
– try to cause me trouble as little as possible and respect my decisions.
"Confidence"
does not (and cannot mean), which he (in fact!) does not even suspect. Yes, there is a different relationship experience, different situations from the past, which made it quite difficult for you to learn to trust men again.
Especially if you were in a relationship that ended with the betrayal of your husband or loved one. But consider that he may not represent all men in general.
And here is the first truth for you: many women think they are "can never trust a man again" can't find someone worthy of her trust , because they are looking for "prince handsome" dreamed about as little girls. But who said that a man can only be trusted if he could become the prince of your childhood fantasies?
Do you really expect a man to treat you like a Goddess, not look at other women, shower you with gifts, be the perfect lover, tell you his deepest secrets, slay dragons for you, want what you want what he wants, even if he really doesn't want it? ( Last words caused my brain to start melting despite hearing about these common female desires all the time). If so, it will be difficult for you to find and trust a man who matches the above.
Step 2. Forgive yourself for letting a man destroy your trust.
The reason many women have trust issues with men is not because "All men are goats" or something like that... The reason is shame. Didn't your face turn red just now? Mine blushed. Why? Because shame is a terrible emotion and a very powerful word.
Let's take a look at why women are afraid to trust a man. There are reasons for this:
- Fear that if you give a man the power to hurt you (and to love someone is to give it), you will be hurt and devastated again. Your subconscious says: « Last time when I trusted a man, he hurt me. If I don't trust men anymore, they won't be able to hurt me anymore!".
- Shame that comes from realizing that you were foolish to trust a guy who broke your trust (or simply failed to live up to your expectations).
That is why you frantically start looking for information in a search engine, checking credit history, criminal history and compatibility according to the signs of the zodiac for each man that you even liked a little.
That's why You are trying to find reasons to refuse any relationship. even when they haven't started yet. Because your subconscious doesn't want to feel like "not properly".
And from the point of view of your subconscious "distrust of a man" actually guarantees that you will never again feel ashamed in front of yourself for feeling your own stupidity if you trust the wrong guy again.
That is why You need to forgive yourself right now.
If you don’t know how to learn to trust men again, then most likely you are angry at yourself for allowing yourself to be hurt. And the only way to forgive yourself is to understand why you trusted in the past and admit it.
I'll give you a hint: I assume that they believed because they wanted to be loved.
A being loved means giving the other person the power to hurt you.
If a man has hurt you in the past, do not think that you can no longer trust any male human being. It only means that in that particular case you took a risk, and that risk could not reward you. eternal love that you dreamed about.
Listen to me: - does not mean to be "stupid", no matter how much he may have betrayed you or hurt you. There is nothing shameful in the fact that you succumbed to ordinary human desires.
And back to the question How to learn to trust a man?.
You need to forgive yourself!
Go into the bathroom, stand in front of the mirror, look into your eyes and say to yourself: “I know that you are ashamed and hurt, you are angry about what happened because of this man, but you did everything with the best intentions and I forgive you.”.
After that, you will really feel better. And you might want to cry. Cry. Don't hold back.
Step 3. Eliminate "words of the victim" from your dictionary
What's happened "words of the victim"?
"Words of the Victim" are the words that take away from you vitality and make you feel humiliated, insulted, offended. For example, let's burn on "beloved" for all topic: Deception.
- No one can make you a victim but you.
- Nobody can make you happy but you.
- No one can make you feel anything but you.
Doing yourself a victim You give the man who disappointed or betrayed your trust all power over you. But if you stop using "words of the victim" then take your fate into your own hands.
That's all you need
Let's summarize what needs to be done to solve the problem called How to learn to trust men again:
- understand what trust is
- forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be deceived (offended)
- stop seeing yourself as a victim
Thanks for your attention and patience. I hope that I did not waste a lot of time writing this material and now you are at least three steps closer to understanding how to trust a man.
After all, this is one of the most important conditions for a truly harmonious relationship.
Looking forward to the comments under this text!
With love,
Yaroslav Samoilov
The most interesting articles by Yaroslav Samoilov:
Trust in a loved one is an integral part happy relationship. And if it is very easy to lose it, then it is quite difficult to return it. So how do you learn to trust your loved one? To get an answer to this question, you need, first of all, to understand yourself and your attitude towards young man.
It is worth considering why a person who seems to be dear and loved is still not trusted. Maybe he has not yet earned this trust, or has already lost it? If the reason is in the first, then you should reconsider your attitude towards others. Often, women on a subconscious level cannot trust men, which is due to unsuccessful romances in the past. In this case, you need to change your mind about the male half of the population. You need to understand for yourself that not all men are bastards, traitors and womanizers. It is important to remember that the past remains in the past, and current love is perhaps a gift of fate. Therefore, the first rule - you can not think of men the same way. All of them - different people with your thoughts and actions. Do not be afraid to make a mistake, because it is by making mistakes that we live - otherwise it's boring!
A girl's distrust of a guy can induce anything. Frequent problem two people at the initial stage of the relationship is insufficient trust in each other. This does not mean that the girl does not want to open up to the guy and trust him. On the contrary, she may want to, but she is afraid of being misunderstood. Perhaps she has some secrets that she is afraid to tell the young man, even though she wants to do it. Or problems that she cannot solve alone, but out of a sense of either pride or independence, she does not share them with her beloved. But it’s worth considering: maybe it’s still worth sharing your experiences with your loved one? After all, together it is much easier to solve any problem, and if he really loves, he will never leave in difficult situation. But the guy can regard silence and passionate attempts to hide something as distrust. Hence the second rule - do not hide your problems from your loved one, but try to solve them together.
It should be remembered that a relationship in which people do not trust each other cannot be called happy. That is why it is so important to learn to trust your loved one. After all, only by trusting a person can you truly love him and remain confident in him.
But, as already mentioned, trust is very easy to lose. So how do you learn to trust your loved one if he has already lost trust, if he has already deceived and betrayed? Seemingly, best way out out of the situation - stop communicating with this person. That should have been done, only if... He wouldn't still be loved the same way. In this situation, it is important to understand why the young man acted like a traitor. Failure to provide assistance at a difficult moment, betrayal, failure to fulfill any particularly important request, deceit - all this can be considered as a betrayal that breeds distrust. The surest and simplest solution that allows you to understand the mean act of a loved one is to talk to him. We need to find out what made the guy do it. After all, he most likely guessed that his act would not bring his beloved anything but pain and disappointment. However, he did what he did. To forgive him or not - each girl decides for herself. But already from a conversation with a young man it will be clear whether he repents of his act or not. Therefore, the third rule - if a young man is so dear that it is not possible to leave him, you should not draw conclusions without finding out the reasons why the guy committed a mean act.
Suppose that a loved one received forgiveness. But how to trust a guy who has already betrayed once? After all, regaining trust is always much more difficult than earning forgiveness. How to trust a young man again, knowing that he has already deceived once, which means that it doesn’t cost him anything to deceive a second time? But maybe the reason lies in itself? You should think: if a young man is really dear and you don’t want to lose him at all, and even if he has already received forgiveness, is there any point in distrusting him? No one says that it will be easy for a person who has once deceived to open up again, but it is necessary to do this. No one gives a guarantee that a person will not betray again, but perhaps only in this way, falling and rising, one can find happiness.
Psychologists have noticed that relationships where a man lost the trust of a woman, and then regained it, are much stronger and more reliable than those in which everything is smooth and peaceful. This once again confirms that even if you make a mistake, there is always a chance to fix everything. The main thing is to let a man understand that by his act he risks losing not only trust, but also the respect of his beloved woman.
Thus, trust in a loved one in most cases depends only on oneself. You need to be able to overcome your own fears of failure and forget past disappointments - only then does it become possible to feel happy next to your loved one.
