Home Useful properties of fruits Mr. School of Horrors read online. Horror school. Death for a good reason

Useful properties of fruits

Mr. School of Horrors read online. Horror school. Death for a good reason

Grigory Oster School of Horrors

PROBLEM

Artist E. Vashchinskaya

FOREWORD

Tell you a sadistic anecdote? A children's writer comes to the readers and says: "And I wrote a new book for you - a math problem book."

This is probably the same as putting a pot of porridge on the table instead of a cake for a birthday. But, to be honest, the book opened before you is not quite a problem book.

FOR TEACHERS

No, no, the tasks here are real. For second, third and fourth grades. All of them have a solution and help to consolidate the material covered in the corresponding class. However, the main task of the "Problem Book" is not to fix the material; and these problems have absolutely nothing to do with what is called entertaining mathematics. I think that these problems will not cause any professional interest among the winners of mathematical Olympiads. These tasks are just for those who do not like mathematics, who habitually consider the solution of problems to be dreary and tedious work. Let them doubt!

FOR STUDENTS

Dear children, this book is purposely called "Problem Book" so that it can be read in a math lesson and not hidden under a desk. And if the teachers start to resent, say: “We don’t know anything, the Ministry of Education has allowed it.”

Task 1

Firefighters are taught to put on their pants in three seconds. How many pants can a well-trained firefighter put on in five minutes?

Task 2

Two numbers 5 and 3 once came to a place where many different differences were lying around, and began to look for their own. Find the difference between these numbers.

Task 3

Friends made a task about Petya: “Our friend Petya eats tasteless pasta 60 km long. On the first day he ate a fifth of all pasta, on the second day he ate a fourth of all pasta. How many kilometers of tasteless pasta did Petya eat in two days?

Task 4

If you quietly sneak up on grandfather and dad from behind and suddenly shout: “Hurrah!”, Dad will jump 18 cm. Grandfather, who survived in difficult years and not like that, will jump only 5 cm. How many centimeters higher than grandfather will dad jump when he heard a sudden “ Hooray!"?

Task 5

Tolya argued with Kolya that he would eat 5 cans of shoe polish, but ate only 3. How many cans of shoe polish Tolya could not master?

Task 6

Twenty-two girls, walking in the forest, found 88 mushrooms, and then half of the girls got lost. How many times greater is the number of mushrooms found in the forest than the number of girls lost in the same place?

Task 7

Little Johnny firmly decided to hit the high school student Yegor on the forehead with a rectangular board, the width of which is 15 cm and the length is 60 cm. Is a rectangular board with a width of 15 cm and an area of 900 cm2 suitable for this?

Task 8

Does the dividend recognize itself after division if, before division, the dividend is multiplied by the divisor?

Task 9

If you put Dasha, who weighs 45 kg, and Natasha, who weighs 8 kg less, on one side of the scale, and put 89 kg of different sweets on the other, then how many kilograms of sweets will the unfortunate girls have to eat in order for the scales to be in balance?

Task 10

Raising his son-loser, dad wears out 2 trouser belts a year. How many belts did dad wear out during all eleven years of study, if it is known that in the fifth grade his son stayed twice in the second year?

Task 11

In the elevator, the button for the first floor is located at a height of 1 m 20 cm from the floor. The button of each next floor is 10 cm higher than the previous one. To what floor can a little boy, whose height is 90 cm, reach in an elevator if, by jumping, he can reach a height that is 45 cm higher than his height?

Task 12

The hen Ryaba laid an egg, and the mouse took it and broke it. Then Ryaba laid three more testicles. The mouse also broke these. Ryaba pulled herself together and took down five more, but the shameless mouse smashed these ones too. How many eggs could a grandfather and a woman cook their own scrambled eggs from if they had not spoiled their mouse?

Task 13

68 chicken eggs can be placed in a special box. If you crush them with your feet, you can fit 100 times more. How many crushed eggs can be placed in 3 identical boxes?

Task 14

Standing on tiptoe and stretching her arms up, Mitenka can reach the bottom shelf of the kitchen cabinet, on which there are salt, pepper and mustard. The distance from the bottom shelf of this cupboard to the top one, on which strawberry jam stands, is 48 cm. Mitenka grows by 2 cm per month. How many years will it take Mitenka to get to strawberry jam without standing on a chair?

Task 15

On September 1, while getting acquainted with her students, Elena Fedorovna found five Natashas and three Petyas among them. Vit was twice as large as Natasha and Sing combined, and Len was four times less than Vit. How many Len were in the class on September 1st when the students met the teacher?

Once, on a black-black night, a black-black glove flew into a black room ... This is how all children's horror stories begin. What follows is a heartbreaking story that makes your hair stand on end, and you want to pick up your legs to your chin and cover yourself with a blanket. The writer Grigory Oster listened, thought and decided: why is he worse than some uneducated little ones? He will write better stories, scarier ones, and also about school. Then he remembered his childhood, his beloved teacher, the principal's office - and he composed such things! Hair on end, goosebumps run in herds. Now let's see who is better at writing horror stories - children or the writer Oster.

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Ideal man (SI)
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Who in his youth did not dream of a prince on a white horse? Probably, there is no such girl in the world. Ada was lucky: she met her ideal man, only he turned out to be ... a "goat." And what to do next? Divorce your husband and coolly celebrate this event in a strip club, so much so that the faithful "enjoy" the performance to their heart's content. So? Spit on everything and start life from scratch.

This love story is about dreams and disappointments, about loss and gain, about happiness that comes so hard. But if you do not give up on failures and treat life with humor, as Ada did, then fate will certainly reward your efforts.
What does the fish know?
Balcomb Jonathan
Adventure , Nature & Animals , Science, Education , Biology , Nonfiction

“Pisces are not just living beings: they are individuals who have a personality and build relationships with others. They can learn, perceive information and invent new things, comfort each other and make plans for the future. They are able to have fun, be in a playful mood, feel fear, pain and joy. These are not just smart, but also conscious, sociable, social, able to use the tools of communication, virtuous and even unscrupulous beings. The purpose of my book is to allow them to speak in a way that was not possible in the past. Thanks to significant advances in ethology, sociobiology, neuroscience and ecology, we can better understand what the world is like for fish themselves, how they perceive, feel and experience it.” (Jonathan Balcomb)
ABC. "Emperor" and other opinions
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Before you, reader, is a new book by the cult writer and radical politician Eduard Limonov. This book has collected reflections, the author's opinions on various issues - from philosophical concepts (God, Power, Children) to an analysis of the behavior of individual countries and the problem of a brewing war between the sexes. These are the opinions of the author, but "an authoritative person", as he characterizes himself; read them like dazi-bao or "Selected passages from correspondence with friends", and be silent.

The publication contains profanity and is published in the author's edition.
Ghoul King
Reynolds Josh
Fantasy , Fantasy

It all started about seventeen thousand years ago, when the Ancients appeared in the world. Unknown and powerful creatures who decided that they had found a good place to live. They ruled space and perhaps time. They were able to create life and in general most of all resembled gods. Having settled in a new place, they began to create intelligent creatures to help themselves.

However, the idyll of creation was broken by the Forces of Chaos, who wished to destroy the young world. Hungry and greedy, Chaos rushed into the material world, sweeping away everything in its path. And when it seemed that everything was lost, the forces of order nevertheless wrested victory from the clutches of Chaos, blocking its path to this world.

After that, intelligent races had to adapt to new realities - Chaos, albeit locked, continued to influence, enslave and change.

However, centuries succeeded each other, old wounds healed little by little, elves, dwarves, people and other creations of the Ancients got to know each other and, at the very least, learned to live together.

These were no longer golden ages under the protection of the Ancients. Wars succeeded one another, and blood poured generously on the ground, but after the nightmare of Chaos, even such an existence was perceived as a blessing.

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Live to be crowned
Rowe Anna Maria
Fantasy , Fantasy

What does a married princess dream about in order to strengthen her country's position in a strategically important region? About the love of her husband and simple human happiness.

The crown prince wants to get rid of the imposed wife and punish those responsible for the death of his beloved.

The court magician yearns to find a suicidal man and pass on his gift.

The eldest maid of honor is absorbed in fresh rumors and gossip.

The head of the secret office ... No, he definitely wants to figure out the enemy spy and get rid of the dubious honor of becoming the next contender for the throne.

And I? What about me? It is important to me that the princess live to see the coronation. Otherwise, I will die.
A smuggler with a "red" diploma!
Luneva Maria
Fiction, Space fiction, Romance novels, Love-fiction novels

Astra Voynich is a native of the most disadvantaged planet in the solar system. But this fact did not prevent her from graduating from a prestigious academy and getting not just a diploma, but a diploma with honors. And what lies ahead for her? Great job? A breathtaking career? The best passenger cruiser on Earth, or will the military be interested in such a wonderful specialist? Alas, but no ... Not having passed the distribution, Astra herself takes up her fate and becomes a smuggler. And then, like in a fairy tale: love, romance, adventure and untold wealth!

Page 1 of 5

DEMON OF STUDY

One sixth grader was walking from school past the garbage heap and found there a thick old book about how to summon demons to the house. The parents of the sixth-grader had not yet returned from work, and the boy thought that while no one was at home, he should summon some demon for a minute, otherwise mom and dad would come and not allow him. At first, the sixth grader wanted to summon a fire demon, but it turned out that for this he had to set fire to a sixteen-pointed star on the floor, made up of six hundred and sixty-six matches. The boy did not have enough matches, and he began to turn the pages of the book to find out how to summon some other demons. Unfortunately, all methods were very difficult: it was necessary to have on hand all sorts of dried snakes and boiled toads. In addition, the skeletons of black cats, the skulls of white crocodiles and various infusions of poisonous herbs were needed. The boy had none of this. Only textbooks and notebooks. Fortunately, on the last page, the boy found one not very difficult way. It was necessary to put on the floor a pile of six unread textbooks for the sixth grade, six clean notebooks on them, and six unsharpened pencils on top. And when the magic number 666 is formed from six textbooks, six notebooks and six pencils, exclaim:
Open up, abyss, full of books!
Teachings demon, rise from the bottom!

The sixth grader, without hesitation, did just that. And instantly a gloomy hole opened in the floor of his apartment. But not to the lower neighbors, but to the other world of knowledge. And from this nightmarish world, a monstrous creature leaned out to the waist. Demon of learning. His eyes burned with a thirst for knowledge, and clawed fingers reached for the sixth grader.
- BUT! came the hoarse voice of the monster. "So you called me?" Well, good! I will make you the best student in your school, and for this you will give me your soul. Agree?
At the same moment, there was an iron rattle, and the doors of the apartment began to slowly open. The key rattled in the lock, because the parents came. From work. The sixth grader turned pale. He was afraid that dad and mom would see what he was doing here, waved his hands at the demon and whispered:
- Take it! Take whatever you want, just disappear quickly.
And the learning demon disappeared. Fell into the floor. The abyss of knowledge immediately closed, and the parents did not notice anything. And literally the next day, their son became a round honors student. And until the very end of school, he studied for one five. Not like triples, he never even had a single four until the very last class. For this, at the graduation party, he was awarded a gold medal. The son brought his gold home to his father and mother, put it on the table in front of them and fell down lifeless. He lay on the floor as if alive, but did not breathe.
An ambulance was called, but the doctor told the parents that their son would no longer be able to live, because there was no longer a soul in his body, and it was impossible to live without a soul.

GUARD MANIAC

In one school, a maniac worked as a security guard. He had a mania: after calling for class, grab all the latecomers and unscrew their heads. To death. The principal of the school knew that his security guard was a maniac, but on purpose he did not fire the security guard from work so that no one would be late for school. Indeed, the students in this school tried not to be late, so the maniac guard could not unscrew someone's head and often suffered from this. He yearned, gnashed his teeth, and sometimes even cried quietly.
One day, the principal of the school himself accidentally overslept and was late for the bell for the lessons. In order not to fall into the hands of the guard, the director decided to climb into his office through the window. The office was on the fourth floor. When the director climbed the wall to the third floor, he slipped, fell and sprained his leg. But still he darted off. Crawling. Because I knew what was about to happen.
The guard noticed the director who had fallen from above and was crawling away from the school, was delighted and chased him.
The director realized that he could not crawl far with a sprained leg, rose on his hands and shouted to the guard that he had been fired.
The maniac guard immediately stopped, cried and went to work in some other school. Isn't it in yours?

CHANGING TABLE

Once, in the third grade, an unfamiliar teacher in a red dress came to a math lesson.
“Your Anna Pavlovna,” she said, smiling affectionately, “fell ill, and while she is gone, I will teach mathematics in your class.
The new teacher hung a chart on the blackboard and asked, “Who knows what this is?”
- Multiplication table! the third graders screamed. - Anna Pavlovna and I passed it in the second grade.
“Be careful,” the teacher said sternly.
The children looked and saw that it was not the multiplication table that was hanging on the board, but the strangulation table. There were nine columns in the table, and in each one strangled was multiplied by others.
Multiply seven strangled by nine strangled - you get sixty-three strangled. Multiply eight strangled by nine strangled - you get seventy-two strangled. Multiply nine strangled by nine strangled - you get eighty-one strangled.

The whole lesson, as if hypnotized, without blinking, the children looked at this table and memorized it, and just before the call, the new teacher said:
Take your diaries and write down your homework, please. Tonight you must open your eyes without waking up, get out of bed, go and strangle your parents. And then multiply them by each other.

After the lessons, the third-graders went home, and at night they all got up and came barefoot to their dads and moms. The children were almost stretching out their hands to the throats of their parents, but then each child saw that when he multiplied one strangled parent by another, there would be two strangled parents, and this is wrong, because one multiplied by one does not equal two, but one.
And as soon as the children understood this, they woke up. The hypnosis that the new teacher had put on them disappeared, and all the children calmly returned to their beds.
The next morning it turned out that there was no new teacher in a red dress at school and no one knew anything about her. And when Anna Pavlovna recovered, all the parents of the third-graders came to the school to thank Anna Pavlovna for the fact that their children know the multiplication table so well. After all, if the third graders had not remembered in time that one multiplied by one would be one, and not two, then this story would have ended, of course, in a completely different way. Much scarier. You can’t even imagine how it would have ended then.

DEATH FOR GOOD CAUSE

One day the director of one school looked into the third grade during a lesson and saw that some children were missing.
He summoned the head of the educational department and asked why these absent children did not come to school.
- Don't worry, - the head teacher calmly said, - all these third-graders are absent for good reasons.
The next day, the director looked into the third grade again and found that almost half of the children were already missing. He began to visit other classes and was more and more surprised, because there were very few students in all classes.
“Is there an epidemic at my school?” the director was worried. He again summoned the head of the educational department to his office. But the head teacher again calmly said that the children were absent for a good reason. You don't have to worry.
The director awoke the next morning with gloomy forebodings. He hurried to the school and saw that there were confused teachers wandering along the deserted school corridors, and there was no one in the classrooms. The entire school is completely empty.
- And where is our head of education? the director asked.
It turned out that the head teacher also did not come to school.
The director began to call the head teacher at home. At first, no one answered the phone for a long time, and then the head teacher, in some other way, asked in an otherworldly voice:
- Well, what is it? Who dared to disturb my eternal rest?
- What peace? the director got angry. - There are seven hundred and twenty-two students in our school, and today not a single one has come. Can you explain to me what happened to them?
- And you go to the cemetery and find out everything, - the head teacher said rudely and hung up.
The director went to the cemetery and saw that seven hundred and twenty-two fresh graves with monuments had appeared there, and the names and surnames of the students of his school were written on each monument.
The director immediately called for a crane and rescuers from the Ministry of Emergency Situations. The monuments were dragged from the graves by a crane, the graves were dug up, and it turned out that all the schoolchildren buried in the graves, fortunately, were still alive, only sleeping like the dead.
When the schoolchildren were awakened, they got up, went home to get their portfolios and, together with their principal, returned to their home school. And the head teacher, the director, ordered not to be allowed into the school at all. But he never came again. Never.

ENCHANTED PROJECTILLE

At one school, the gym teacher was a witch. Secretly from the rest of the students, she taught some girls to fly around the gym on a broomstick and bewitch other teachers so that they put only one five, even if you don’t know anything at all.
The singing teacher found out the truth about the physical education teacher, came to the director and told him everything. The witch was kicked out, but she vowed to take revenge on the one who betrayed her.
One day, the singing teacher had a renovation at home, and the director allowed him to spend the night at school. Three nights.
On the first night, the singing teacher went to bed in the director's office. On the sofa. When the clock hanging on the wall struck midnight, there was a terrible creak, the door swung open, and a training skeleton entered the office. The skeleton spread out his hands and began to wander around the office, groping for the singing teacher. The teacher realized that the skeleton had no eyes and could not see him. Then the teacher carefully moved from the sofa to the director's table and stood there until the cock crowed, which lived in this school in a living corner. At the same moment, the skeleton fell to the floor and froze, as if lifeless.
On the second night, the singing teacher went to bed in the teachers' room. On chairs. Exactly at midnight there was a formidable rustling, and different marks began to crawl out of all the classroom magazines stored in the teacher's room: threes, twos, fives, fours and ones. Marks quickly ran across the floor, along the walls, along the ceiling and rushed in different directions. The singing teacher realized that the marks were looking for him to tickle him to death, and, jumping up, grabbed the chandelier. He had to hang on the chandelier until a rooster crowed in a living corner. Immediately everything disappeared, as if nothing had happened.
On the third night, the singing teacher decided to sleep in the gym. On soft mats. When midnight struck, he quickly got up and listened. But he didn't hear anything. There was dead silence throughout the empty school. The singing teacher calmed down and fell asleep. And in the morning they didn't find him. Nowhere. No matter how much you searched.
But instead of a singing teacher in the school gym, a new sports equipment appeared - a goat. And the new gym teacher taught the kids to jump over it. And on the side of this new goat, in small letters, was written: “The same will happen to everyone who talks. Ku-ku!

Page 1 of 5

DEMON OF STUDY

GUARD MANIAC

CHANGING TABLE

DEATH FOR GOOD CAUSE

ENCHANTED PROJECTILLE

*** Oster G. ***

*** School of Horrors ***

artist E. Silina

From the manufacturer fb2

This file contains almost picture-free text.

In order to be scared properly, you should buy a paper book.

DEMON OF STUDY

Open up, abyss, full of books!

Teachings demon, rise from the bottom!

At the same moment, there was an iron rattle, and the doors of the apartment began to slowly open. The key rattled in the lock, because the parents came. From work. The sixth grader turned pale. He was afraid that dad and mom would see what he was doing here, waved his hands at the demon and whispered:

Take it! Take whatever you want, just disappear quickly.

And the learning demon disappeared. Fell into the floor. The abyss of knowledge immediately closed, and the parents did not notice anything. And literally the next day, their son became a round honors student. And until the very end of school, he studied for one five. Not like triples, he never even had a single four until the very last class. For this, at the graduation party, he was awarded a gold medal. The son brought his gold home to his father and mother, put it on the table in front of them and fell down lifeless. He lay on the floor as if alive, but did not breathe.

An ambulance was called, but the doctor told the parents that their son would no longer be able to live, because there was no longer a soul in his body, and it was impossible to live without a soul.

GUARD MANIAC

One day, the principal of the school himself accidentally overslept and was late for the bell for the lessons. In order not to fall into the hands of the guard, the director decided to climb into his office through the window. The office was on the fourth floor. When the director climbed the wall to the third floor, he slipped, fell and sprained his leg. But still he darted off. Crawling. Because I knew what was about to happen.

The guard noticed the director who had fallen from above and was crawling away from the school, was delighted and chased him.

The director realized that he could not crawl far with a sprained leg, rose on his hands and shouted to the guard that he had been fired.

The maniac guard immediately stopped, cried and went to work in some other school. Isn't it in yours?

CHANGING TABLE

Once, in the third grade, an unfamiliar teacher in a red dress came to a math lesson.

Your Anna Pavlovna, - she said, smiling affectionately, - fell ill, and while she is gone, I will teach mathematics in your class.

The new teacher hung a chart on the blackboard and asked, “Who knows what this is?”

Multiplication table! the third graders screamed. - Anna Pavlovna and I passed it in the second grade.

Be careful, the teacher said sternly.

The children looked and saw that it was not the multiplication table that was hanging on the board, but the strangulation table. There were nine columns in the table, and in each one strangled was multiplied by others.

Multiply seven strangled by nine strangled - you get sixty-three strangled. Multiply eight strangled by nine strangled - you get seventy-two strangled. Multiply nine strangled by nine strangled - you get eighty-one strangled.

The whole lesson, as if hypnotized, without blinking, the children looked at this table and memorized it, and just before the call, the new teacher said:

Take your diaries and write down your homework, please. Tonight you must open your eyes without waking up, get out of bed, go and strangle your parents. And then multiply them by each other.

And as soon as the children understood this, they woke up. The hypnosis that the new teacher had put on them disappeared, and all the children calmly returned to their beds.

The next morning it turned out that there was no new teacher in a red dress at school and no one knew anything about her. And when Anna Pavlovna recovered, all the parents of the third-graders came to the school to thank Anna Pavlovna for the fact that their children know the multiplication table so well. After all, if the third graders had not remembered in time that one multiplied by one would be one, and not two, then this story would have ended, of course, in a completely different way. Much scarier. You can’t even imagine how it would have ended then.

DEATH FOR GOOD CAUSE

One day the director of one school looked into the third grade during a lesson and saw that some children were missing.

He summoned the head of the educational department and asked why these absent children did not come to school.

Don't worry, the head teacher calmly said, all these third-graders are absent for good reasons.

The next day, the director looked into the third grade again and found that almost half of the children were already missing. He began to visit other classes and was more and more surprised, because there were very few students in all classes.

“Is there an epidemic at my school?” the director was worried. He again summoned the head of the educational department to his office. But the head teacher again calmly said that the children were absent for a good reason. You don't have to worry.

The director awoke the next morning with gloomy forebodings. He hurried to the school and saw that there were confused teachers wandering along the deserted school corridors, and there was no one in the classrooms. The entire school is completely empty.

Where is our Head of Education? the director asked.

It turned out that the head teacher also did not come to school.

The director began to call the head teacher at home. At first, no one answered the phone for a long time, and then the head teacher, in some other way, asked in an otherworldly voice:

Well, what is it? Who dared to disturb my eternal rest?

What peace? the director got angry. - There are seven hundred and twenty-two students in our school, and today not a single one has come. Can you explain to me what happened to them?

And you go to the cemetery and find out everything, - the head teacher said rudely and hung up.

The director went to the cemetery and saw that seven hundred and twenty-two fresh graves with monuments had appeared there, and the names and surnames of the students of his school were written on each monument.

The director immediately called for a crane and rescuers from the Ministry of Emergency Situations. The monuments were dragged from the graves by a crane, the graves were dug up, and it turned out that all the schoolchildren buried in the graves, fortunately, were still alive, only sleeping like the dead.