Everyone is familiar with the situation when, being late for work or simply in a hurry to attend to urgent matters, you meet an acquaintance who, as if on purpose, can’t wait to tell you about the mass interesting events events that happened in his life, from birth to the present day.
And it can be awkward and difficult to end a conversation for fear of offending the person. So he has to listen to the whole story about how he finally managed to buy himself a new car, make peace with his wife, and solve a math problem for his daughter. To quickly end a conversation without offending anyone, there are several ways.
Before ending the conversation, you need to wait until the interlocutor finishes the phrase. Then thank him for the interesting conversation and for taking the time to communicate, smile politely, apologize and, complaining about the huge number of urgent matters, say goodbye. You can also express regret about the need to interrupt the conversation and, if desired, agree on new meeting at a time convenient for both parties. And the third way: look at your watch during a conversation, thus making it clear that you need to end the conversation as soon as possible.
Communication via the Internet is increasingly replacing face-to-face conversations. Before you start a conversation on the Internet and meet a girl, you must first say hello, as in normal communication. Let it be " Good evening“or a short “hello” is not so important, the main thing is to show this simple sign of politeness. ;Then you need to introduce yourself and say your name. Some indicate a nickname, for example, “cat”. Such information can cause mistrust in the interlocutor, and possibly a reluctance to continue communication, since it becomes clear that the person is hiding something without giving his real name. Therefore, if you intend to meet for a stable relationship, you should indicate your real name.
Telephone conversations also occupy an important place in the life of a modern person. Therefore, you should not forget about elementary rules how to start a conversation on the phone. First, as with any other communication, you need to say greetings and introduce yourself. If this is a business call, then you need to clarify what issue. Do not delay the beginning of the conversation, turning it into a long story.
The essence of the problem must be stated in a short and concise form. After listening to the answer, you need to thank the interlocutor and politely say goodbye. Before a business call, you should prepare a notepad and pen. It is likely that you will need to write down some information. This way you can save your interlocutor’s time by eliminating an awkward pause.
Anna Kovrova
It is not always possible to politely interrupt a boring dialogue, even if it goes wrong. native language. What can we say about English when the task is complicated by the language barrier! Today we will offer several suitable English phrases and tactics of behavior, and in addition a couple of techniques against the most tenacious bore.
Language of the body
Before expressing your desire to end communication, it is worth “warning” about it in body language:
- Look at your interlocutor less often. Absent look - a clear sign the fact that the conversation no longer interests you;
- step back a little;
- start putting things in your bag;
- put on a jacket or sweater to show that you are going to leave;
- if you were sitting, stand up;
- look at objects you were working with before the conversation, such as a computer. Sometimes it is acceptable to even begin work while still talking;
- in some cases it is appropriate to wait for a pause and shake the other person’s hand.
Let your answers become shorter and shorter: “Well”, “Totally”, “Ok”, “Anyway”, “So”.
Find an excuse
Often, such nonverbal signals are enough for the interlocutor to bring the dialogue to an end. If not, you will have to do this:
Perhaps someone is waiting for your call (“I need to make a phone call”). At a party, it is appropriate to say that you want to get another drink (“I need to get another drink”) or saw a friend at the other end of the room (“I’ve spotted my friend across the room”). Tell your overstaying guest that you are practicing spoken English with a native speaker and the Skype lesson is about to begin.
If you notice that the interlocutor is already expressing impatience, you can say:
The word just will come in handy:
It doesn’t hurt to emphasize that you enjoyed the conversation:
If the interlocutor says so with a rising intonation, as if pushing you to answer, this can also be used to retreat, for example: So it's been great catching up with you but... ("It was great to talk with you, but...") . In this case, the word so is pronounced with a falling intonation.
Promise to talk again
You can get away with vague formulations:
But the interlocutor will probably be more pleased to hear something specific:
Say goodbye!
The time has come for a farewell smile: “Bye for now.” Take care! or simply “Bye now!” You probably know many options: teachers who teach English courses via Skype or “live” always dwell on this issue first, as well as on the topic of English greetings.
If the interlocutor does not understand the hints
Be polite but firm. After all, you're not asking for permission to end the conversation, but rather saying that you're leaving:
There are more elegant tactics. For example, ask your interlocutor to introduce you to one of those present. Or invite you to go somewhere with you right now - he will probably refuse, leaving you alone. When a new participant joins the conversation, this also gives you a reason to retreat.
We hope you try out at least one of these phrases today! To practice them, it is not at all necessary to be in a language environment. If you are studying English at home with a personal teacher, you can ask him to focus on these expressions. And don’t forget about the opportunity to chat in the Skyeng club: this will allow you to hone your conversational skills.
You've probably been in a situation where, while communicating with someone, you wanted the conversation to end as quickly as possible. The problem is that you may not always know how to quickly escape the conversation without offending the other person. The next time you encounter this situation, try one of these methods.
Place all the blame on yourself
In such a situation, it is customary to use a certain excuse. You shift all responsibility onto another person (an acquaintance, an employee), saying that he (or she) turned off the phone and is now without communication, you urgently need to run away. This may have unpleasant consequences. So try to take full responsibility. Tell the person that you have too much for today big list things that you absolutely need to do, so you need to leave. This excuse always sounds plausible, and at the same time you will not offend your interlocutor.
You need to make one important call
Using the excuse that you should get a call is such a common theme that there are even apps that can help with it. Try this: Explain to the person you're talking to that you really need to make one very important call (to your parents, a sick friend, or your child). It works because it's never scary to say a name loved one, and he will be happy about your sudden call. In addition, you completely avoid the risk of looking like a liar and, even worse, getting into an awkward situation.
Voice the "invitation"
To avoid hurting the other person's feelings and to end the conversation quickly, try asking them to do something with you. For example, go to important meeting. A change of scenery - and you will no longer be alone in the room, there will be someone else with you, and you will be able to turn your attention to him. Any excuse that helps you easily achieve your goal and do something nice for another person works especially well.
Order food or drinks
This excuse involves a little improvisation, and that's what makes it both fun and effective. If you're at a reception or party, bring two glasses of different drinks or two small plates of food. When the conversation starts to get boring, apologize and say you need to go get more. Everything is clear with food and drinks! But there are situations when you are at a conference and, unfortunately, there is no food there. What to do in such situations? The main thing is not to panic! You should always have yours in your pocket Business Cards, and when you need to avoid a conversation, simply say that you need to step away and hand out your business cards.
Say it straight
Some strong personalities believe that excuses are usually not needed, for example, to refuse an invitation to dinner. The same can be done in any other situation. You can simply look the person straight in the eyes, smile sweetly and say that it was nice talking, but it’s time to say goodbye. Then you can turn around and leave. What's so effective here is the complete lack of justification. You are honest, but sometimes it can be difficult to do.
Postpone the conversation until later and hope for the best
You can often delay the inevitable end of a conversation by hinting that you'll be back to continue the conversation when you have a free moment (“We might be able to talk at the concert tonight if we see each other” or “We'll finish later if I can, but right now I must run") If you say it hesitantly, the other person will probably understand that you just want to blow him off.
Preliminary announcement
Anything that makes it unclear or disguises the end of the conversation is helpful for both of you to part ways politely. A great way to do this is to start the conversation with a small announcement that implies the end of the conversation soon. It goes something like this: “I have to go, but before I do, I want to let you know about a big event that’s coming up soon.” Then you can describe a few details, answer some questions, and then feel free to turn around and leave. Best phrases to quickly answer questions it is “yes” or “no”. But if you need a more detailed answer, you can exchange a couple of phrases. The last thing you want to do is start discussing new topics.
Use tricks
Can you plan ahead or improvise? Always carry it in your bag Charger for a phone (to “give” it to someone) or here’s another one for you effective advice. Everything is very simple. You need to tell your interlocutor that you need to do something important, and you need to do it immediately, for example, tell someone important thing or pick up (“Excuse me. I need to pick up my phone” or “I told Sergei that I would let him read my article,” etc.). Such phrases sound realistic and should prevent the other person from continuing the conversation that you are so eager to end.
Focus on creating positive emotions
Try to focus on making the other person feel good and lift their spirits. This will create the ground for your retreat. You could say something about how interesting the discussion was, how much you learned, or anything else that might make the other person feel great (while ideally also being true). A better approach is to add another idea to your speech, conveying to the other person that you need to leave to accomplish something important (“This has been an intriguing discussion, and I’m sorry I have to leave”). Boring conversation and you don't know what else to say? Everyone has good qualities, so stretch a little and find positive points in your conversation, share your impressions with the other person, and then try to end the conversation with a polite goodbye.
Offer to help someone
To end a conversation quickly and without remorse, you can direct it to interesting topic, for example, offering to do something important for another person. At an event, you could ask him if there is anyone here he (or she) would like to meet. If it is within your power, please contribute. Or maybe during the conversation it was mentioned that you could offer, for example, help come up with a title for a book, send e-mail new recipe etc. It sounds true, and your interlocutor will really understand that you care about him. And you offer help and politely sneak away.
Of course, you can use not each of the tips described separately, but in combination, it will look even more convincing. Practice, but do not forget to remain a polite person with good manners. Otherwise, you will simply ruin your reputation and relationships with people around you.
Item Page
1. Introduction 2
1. How to politely end a telephone conversation 5
1. Should you answer calls when you have a visitor? 6
1. Conclusion 7
1. References 8
Introduction
If earlier in our country a telephone was often a luxury, and most people preferred a faceless telephone conversation personal meeting, then these days the busy pace of life forces us to increasingly resort to the services of a telephone. Huge spaces became subject to telephone wires and radio waves. Telephone facilities connections are increasingly invading all spheres of life. None modern enterprise cannot do without the developed sphere of telephone communications. As businesses increasingly control travel expenses and each employee strives to make as many contacts as possible in a given period of time, the telephone has become the preferred method of communicating with those within and outside the same organization. Standard modern businessman became a man with a cell phone. But unfortunately, not everyone can communicate skillfully, effectively and competently on the phone. It will be a long time before speaking on the phone becomes a necessary skill. business man, as the skill of conversation “face to face”.
Telephone communication
The telephone imposes certain requirements on the one who uses it: after all, during a telephone conversation, your interlocutor cannot in any way evaluate what you are wearing, nor the expression on your face when speaking certain words, nor the interior of the office where you are sitting, nor other non-verbal aspects, which are very helpful about the nature of communication. And yet there are non-verbal stimuli that can be manipulated with skillful use of the telephone; these include the moment chosen for the pause and its duration, silence, intensification or weakening of background noise, intonation expressing enthusiasm or agreement. Then, it matters a lot how quickly the person picks up the phone (after which the dial tone); this allows you to more or less accurately judge how busy he is, how close the phone is to him, and to what extent he is interested in being called.
It is important to remember that when you call, you do so at a time that is convenient for YOU, but perhaps not for your interlocutor. Don't be offended if you are asked to call back later. After all, you most likely did not drop everything you were doing for this call, and it is therefore logical to assume that the person you are calling may also say: “I don’t feel comfortable talking right now.” If you are calling a person whose habits you do not yet know, it would be polite to start the conversation with the question: “Do you have time to talk to me now?”
One consultant on trading transactions through technical means believes that the worst sin against telephone etiquette is not to identify yourself and your company when you answer someone's call. It’s also bad when you identify yourself, but so quickly that the interlocutor still doesn’t have time to make out anything. “Another vice,” she continues, “is when a person blurts out the name and says: “I ask you to wait,” without at all asking whether you have time to wait or not. Another mistake is making you wait at the machine for a long time, instead of turning to the receiver and asking if you can wait a little longer. But the worst mistake is to force a purchase on a person over the phone without even finding out whether the person is interested in this product at least to some extent. It happens that they will call you at home and start praising the aluminum cladding, but your house is made of brick.” (This grave mistake could have been avoided if the caller had adhered to the fourth basic principle of etiquette: care about others, not just yourself.)
Here are some other tips to help you practice better phone etiquette:
1. If you are not known where you are calling, it would be quite appropriate for the secretary to ask you to introduce yourself and find out why you are calling. State your name and briefly state the reason for calling.
2. It is considered great impudence and a gross violation of etiquette to pretend to be a personal friend of the person you are calling, just so that you can be connected to him as quickly as possible.
3. Career consultant Nella Berkley says that the worst violation of business etiquette is not calling back when your call is expected. You must call back as soon as possible and certainly no later than within 24 hours.
4. If you call the person who asked you to call, but he was not there or he could not come, ask him to tell you that you called. Then you can call again, or tell them when and where you can be easily found. To avoid being chained to your phone, name a few places where you will be.
5. If the conversation is going to be long or you need to discuss a situation, or ask a person in detail about something over the phone, schedule the conversation at a time when you can be sure that your interlocutor has enough time to talk with you.
6. Nowadays, more and more often, telephone companies throughout the country offer identification telephones, on which the telephone number from which you are calling lights up, and by this number or other characteristics you can find out who is calling. Since you can decide whether or not to answer the phone, you must be very careful not to scare off or confuse the caller, whom you may have identified by his number, do not say his name until he does so. It would be very uncomfortable for your interlocutor to know that “Big Brother” is watching him everywhere. In addition, there is still no final legal decision as to whether it is ethical to use such systems, or whether it is an encroachment on privacy. Remember this if you happen to look who is calling before picking up the phone.
7. Never talk on the phone with your mouth full, do not chew or drink. If you sneeze or cough during a conversation, try to cover the receiver with your hand so that it is not heard. If it seems to you that the interlocutor heard everything, you need to say “sorry.”
8. If the phone rings and you are already talking on another phone and cannot be interrupted, try to finish the first conversation, and only then talk in detail with the second interlocutor. If possible, ask the second one what number to call back and who to call. Say: “I’m already talking on another phone now. Can I call you back when I’m done?” Except in cases of extreme necessity, do not stop the conversation you have started, because by giving preference to the second interlocutor, you may offend the first one, who will decide that you consider him less. However, if the conversation with the first interlocutor is already over and you simply don’t know how to stop it, then your words that you need to talk with another person will be just the perfect way out of the situation.
If the conversation with the first interlocutor is very tense, you, of course, may simply not answer the beeps of the second device. If you are afraid that these beeps will confuse your interlocutor, simply tell him: “They’re calling me here, but I don’t want to interrupt our conversation. Don’t worry, they’ll call you back if necessary.” This will show that you are following the thread of the conversation and not allowing external interruptions, even phone calls, to disrupt the flow of an important conversation.
9. If you are sure that this call is due to the fact that your number was selected by the computer, you can hang up completely calmly. I recently heard about one insurance agent, who programmed his computer to automatically call up to two thousand people over the weekend, it turns out that the cost of such impersonal calling paid off, even if it was possible to sell a single policy.
10. If you have a detailed telephone conversation with a buyer or customer, try to see him at least once. This acquaintance will allow you to consolidate cooperation, and your telephone contacts in the future they will acquire a much more personal character. You will save many hours of telephone communication in the future by spending only a quarter or half an hour on a date.
11. If you feel like the conversation might drag on, start by asking: “Do you have time to talk now?”
12. When communicating with very busy people, agree on a “phone day” and strictly follow it.
How to politely end a phone conversation
It is easy to imagine a situation in which many people feel very awkward when it is necessary to say that you can no longer talk on the phone. The most difficult thing to end a conversation with is those who are either simply too chatty or are constantly distracted by details that are not directly related to the matter. You may not need to run to a meeting or somewhere this moment call, but by continuing the conversation, we will not get the rest of the work done, and then we will miss the meeting scheduled for later hours. You cannot tell your interlocutor that he talks too much, that you are tired of listening to him, or that everything he said is very far from the essence of the matter. To stop a conversation with a long-winded interlocutor without offending him, delicacy is necessary. The tone of your voice should express sincere interest in the topic of conversation, but you have to say what they usually say: “I wish I could talk with you longer, but I have to return to abandoned business,” or: “Thanks for calling, but I have It’s urgent now.”
There are various circumstances that can be used to interrupt a conversation without offending the interlocutor, but it is better if they are present in reality, otherwise you will have to live with the feeling of guilt for being forced to lie:
“I don’t want to interrupt you, but I have to go in, otherwise I’m afraid I’ll be late for the meeting.”
“Sorry, it’s time for another meeting, I have to go.”
“It’s very nice to talk to you, but now I need to call one more place. Can I call you back later?”
“I broke off negotiations when you called. Sorry, I need to continue them.”
“I'm busy right now, can I call you back?”
“I was very glad to hear from you, but now I have to leave.”
You need to end a telephone conversation the way you would end it. memo, that is, some proposals regarding future steps, for example:
“Let's discuss everything again in a few days.”
“I’ll call you next Monday.”
“Call me when you have clarified something” with our meeting.”
“Let’s talk again and see what we ended up with.”
Let's say in September you have a conversation with someone you don't communicate with very often. Resist the temptation to state frankly that the next conversation between you cannot take place soon. For example, the following words: “I think it’s unlikely that we will have to talk before the New Year...” will sound too dry. It’s better to demonstrate more restraint and optimism: “I hope we’ll talk again” or “Well, I think there will be another chance to talk someday.”
Should you answer calls when you have a visitor?
If someone is sitting in your office, ask the caller to wait. Politeness dictates not to interrupt a conversation with a person by telephone conversations. Typically, an employee also strives to ensure that a person entering his office does not accidentally hear personal or confidential information. When the person you're hosting sees you putting other things aside while you're talking to them, it makes them feel important. Moreover, by interrupting the conversation you will not only sound important and busy, but also rude.
Meeting with specific person, give instructions to your secretary who to connect you with, who to ask to call back later, who to tell that you will call yourself later. Get this in order, otherwise it’s easy to get into trouble. Here's one example. The employee received a call from his wife. When asked if it was possible for her husband to call her back later, she stated that she was calling on an important matter and would wait. The secretary did not tell the wife that her husband was receiving three calls at the same time; Instead, he interrupted his boss's important conversation by showing him a note: “Your wife is calling, saying something is urgent.” Not only were important negotiations interrupted, but the employee also became agitated: what could have happened? If his wife had known that he was having a tense telephone conversation, she most likely would have agreed to call back. And he himself should have explained to the secretary the difference between “an important matter” and “ urgent matter” to avoid similar misunderstandings in the future.
Be very careful when ignoring calls that end up hanging in the air. There are conversations that, for one reason or another, cannot be brought to an end, and if they do, it is only after a significant period of time, say, because both numbers are very overloaded, and you and your potential interlocutor are trying to get on the phone in one piece for days, or even weeks. In the end, endless mutual requests to call begin to irritate, but you still can’t talk. It happens that someone calls at an inconvenient time, you promise to call back tomorrow, but the next day you are busy with other things and cannot call. Only a few days later it turns out that you never called back. It happens that throughout your vacation you remember that you need to call. but when you return, you will be so bogged down in routine that you never bother to get rid of these old debts. Sometimes someone leaves a request to be called back and acts as if he got through and the job is done. Do you have to wait until they call you back? Should you leave additional notes or keep calling until you catch him? the right person? It happens that you call someone with some question, but he is not there; you ask them to tell you to call back, you leave your phone number. After some time, this person calls you, and you have already found out everything in another place, from another person. And the one you no longer need is now asking you to call him back.
Will you call even though you no longer need his help? You’ll chat, you’ll even confess. that you managed without him this time, but will you call back anyway? Or try to name the original reason for the call. Even after sitting down, has it already lost its relevance for you? Or maybe you’ll wait until a new need arises so that your joint efforts to get in touch don’t go to waste?
It is best to call back in any case, so that there are no calls “hanging in the air” that leave an unpleasant aftertaste, or even create a reputation for us as a person who is not interested in contact. You can explain that you were faced with a deadline for the work you called about, so you had to resolve all the issues that arose without outside help. But you can still figure out how to use your colleague’s ideas or services, even if you just chat with him on common topics. This way, both the calls and the resulting conversation can become more important for both of you. in a broad sense- in the sense of strengthening personal relationships.
So, from the point of view of etiquette, you should do the following: call back in any case, whether need forces you or not. Be polite. If you have been asked, call.
Conclusion
Talking on the phone is an art. One phone call can do more than a few long and personable conversations. The speed and range of communication can be considered among the undoubted advantages of the phone, but it must be used with extreme caution. The possibility of smiles, friendly handshakes, attractive facial expressions and poses is absent here, and you may not even notice how you offend your interlocutor with a careless word or sound, and then you will be perplexed for a long time: what happened?
Often they talk on the phone completely strangers, therefore the influence telephone conversation on the formation of the first impression of a person can hardly be overestimated. Therefore, be polite and attentive, do not give in to provocations, these are the basic rules for communicating on the phone.
List of used literature:
1) Kuzin F.A. Do business beautifully. - M.: Progress, 1995. - p. 297
2) Jäger Jen. Business Etiquette: How to survive and succeed in the world of business. - M.: John Wiley and Sons, 1995. - p.285
How to end a conversation without offending the other person? There are times when this skill is needed. But if you have good skills active listening, then at some point you will realize that there is much more talk in your life (and in the disposition, when they talk to you, when they tell you something) in your life than you can afford. The fact is that active listening is a rare skill.
It implies that you know how to emotionally connect to what your interlocutor is saying. This is very important skill, it needs to be learned if your goal is effective communication: most important quality negotiator, salesperson, manager or business owner, and people are drawn to those who know how to listen to their interlocutor. However, there are times when excessive communication takes up too much time.
To end a conversation correctly, without offending your interlocutor, there are several techniques. Since we specialize in acting techniques in communication, in this article we will look at a way to end a conversation that requires some artistry.
So, if we want to end a conversation without losing the relationship (let’s take cases when a person has become so talking that there is no hope left for his sense of proportion), we must remember what he expects from you feedback. You need to understand his inner task (what does he want from you? Surprise? Admiration? Or maybe sympathy?) and give him the opportunity to fulfill it. That is, give him what he wants. In you he should find the interlocutor (oddly enough) he was looking for.
Thus, active phase The conversation will be completed by you as quickly as possible. If you leading questions If you “speed up” this phase, it will end faster. Sometimes you need to, figuratively speaking, wave a newspaper around the fire so that the fire burns out faster. Use clarifying questions, trying not to go into new topics. This will give you the opportunity to become the leader in the dialogue, which, again, will allow you to end the conversation when you need it, and not the interlocutor. Moreover, you can end the conversation very effectively.
An example of such a dialogue:
He. I am renovating my apartment and have hired a team of builders. We ordered excellent laminate flooring, at first we wanted parquet boards, but then we decided that laminate was cheaper. We picked it up, it looks a lot like a tree. The builders turned out to be, let's say, bad, and they cut a whole pack of laminate flooring crookedly. And we bought it... Now I’ll show you what kind of laminate (go on the Internet, look for it, the conversation is clearly going sideways. You need the “fire of his story” to burn out as quickly as possible. That is, to quickly end the conversation, you need to return to theme of builders. In addition, we understand that he most likely wants you to admire his faithfulness and reasonable behavior in a sticky situation with builders).
You(indignantly). Did you ruin the whole pack?? How much it costs??
He(I have to answer your question). So many rubles.
You. Did he really manage to deduct from them, from these crooked hands?
He. Of course I did! And what’s interesting is that they didn’t agree at first, can you imagine? (note that the topic about laminate flooring, which threatened to lengthen the conversation, faded into the background. However, you understand that now he will brag, but at the same time you have the opportunity to admire his skill in communicating with workers, which significantly shortens the conversation)
You(you finally seize the initiative, start your story on this topic, very enthusiastically). Well done, of course. Just to confirm your words: a year ago I did some renovations. I hired a team to do the cement screed for me. I come in the morning (and the apartment is new, the main person has the keys), at ten o’clock. I didn’t take the keys, my wife had them. I walked up to the door, and they should have been working since nine. I call and no one opens. I listen - no one is inside. I dial the number. Not available. I'm starting to get angry. An hour passes (and the phone is unreachable all this time), I hear voices, the elevator is moving. Workers fall out, obviously drunk yesterday. I say: “Where were you?”, their main one is: “We stopped by to pick up an instrument,” but it reeks of fumes. They entered the apartment, in short, I said, they say, collect the coins, the keys to the base - and hello. So they began to wander around for something, barely got out (we quickly look at the clock). Oh, Christmas trees! It's already five! Well, we started chatting!! Next time we'll talk, when will you be back?
He(the conversation was nipped in the bud). I'll probably drop by in a week.
You(giving hand). Come on, don’t forget us, call us.
This way, you could easily and naturally end a conversation that could last for thirty minutes, and the interlocutor would not be offended by you, which is what we need. The scheme of such a conversation is simple: we, realizing that the topic threatens to develop into a long and unnecessary conversation, seize the initiative (moreover, as if supporting him, in confirmation of his words), tell a story that would confirm his words and say that we are chatting . Thus, it turns out that it was not he who chatted, but you (after all, you were telling the story), that is, the interlocutor has no reason to be offended. And you ended the conversation.
