Probably, in the life of every person there come days when it seems that everything is not as it should be, everything falls out of hand. The reasons may be different: dismissal from work, the end of a long-term relationship, death loved one… Sometimes it all happens at the same time.
At such a time, hands are discouraged, life loses its meaning. The possibility of controlling events not only around you, but also yourself, disappears.
Have you come across this too?
Everyone wants such days to visit us as rarely as possible, and it would be better if they did not exist at all. Life, however, constantly shows that not everything depends on us. There are situations that we cannot influence in any way, but they do affect us.
This article will help you master your life in emergencies. What to do in difficult moments?
1. Don't expect someone to solve problems for you!
This article will not solve your problems. Except for you, no one can do anything to solve them. Only you yourself can do it. Everyone has everything they need to get out of the crisis. You just need to sacredly believe in it.
2. Stop, catch your breath, clear your mind.
It seems that this thing is obvious, but in the thick of things, for some reason, most of us forget about it.
If everything starts to collapse, and all persistent attempts to stop it are in vain - stop and catch your breath. Count to ten. Calm your thoughts. Try to catch the distance. Make an effort to get rid of bad emotions. Don't let them cover up the problem. Don't lose sight of her. Try to focus on outside world, not on yourself.
With a clear mind, it will be much easier to deal with the problem.
3. Remember a few basic rules.
At first, fortune rolls like a wheel.
Looking at events objectively, one cannot demand that everything always succeeds. In the end, after the night comes the day, after the winter, spring, and so on. At any time of the day, at any time of the year, at any time of life, there is some purpose. Maybe you don't notice it, maybe you underestimate it, but it's still there. Accept this and try to use the lesson that life gives.
Secondly, some of the things you currently grieve will not matter in a few years.
Thirdly, each is a step forward. Yes, every difficult fight brings you closer to your goal. You must emerge stronger and richer from each battle. You may have suffered a little during it, but you have become more confident. And even if the result is another scar, you shouldn't be ashamed of it. The scar is proof of your strength. The scar is like a tattoo of your triumph.
4. Stop complaining!
Maybe you got fired from your job. Maybe the girl left. Maybe new project didn't work. And since then you sit and blame everyone and everyone for this. And you think how great it would be if this dismissal, parting, refusal never happened. So what? Has anything in life improved due to this? Unlikely. Be honest with yourself, the world doesn't care at all. Just accept that you can't always be successful. Well, not always.
5. Ask someone for help.
You can cope with problems yourself, but it's worth considering who you could rely on in this situation. Then the solution to the problem is easier, faster and at least a little more pleasant. Sometimes it's worth listening to other people's opinions. It is worth listening to their advice. Some kind of support is worth accepting. We are not made of stone.
Very often, pride does not allow you to seek help. The pride that prevents you from admitting that there is a problem with something. There is simply no infallible person. Nobody can always be right. Bad luck happens to everyone. If someone claims that in his case everything is different, then he is deceiving others (and himself too).
6. Take care of yourself.
Whatever happens, you always have to find a moment for yourself. Do not forget about food, regular and prolonged sleep, physical activity.
Our body is not a machine that can be exploited endlessly. If you do not take care of him, then he may refuse at the most inopportune moment. You need to be in good shape to solve problems.
7. Please wait.
Sometimes it may happen that without doing anything, you are doing a lot. Yes, sometimes you just need to wait out the given crisis.
1. A Change of Environment. Take a day off or a short break and go to rest and reflect outside your usual surroundings. Sometimes, even a simple change of scenery can help to reconfigure the everyday cycle of thoughts.
2. Keep fit. V healthy body- a healthy mind. Achieve certain results, even if it only concerns own body, it is always pleasant - because this means that if you want, you are capable of more.
3. Rewrite your history. The past is just a story that we remind ourselves over and over again. Try to formulate your feelings and calmly analyze why everything turned out in this way. It's also great to focus on your own opportunities for future growth and not drag along a bunch of past events - just forward to what's close to your heart.
4. Make new acquaintances. The positive effect people can have on each other is invaluable. Sometimes The best way forgetting failed relationships - blossoming in new ones. Our thinking and behavior is also shaped by the environment: try to choose for yourself the one that will only help you become better.
5. Take care of yourself. When we feel unwell, we try to take care of ourselves: we take sick leave, buy medicines. It is no less worth taking care of yourself during "emotional ailments" - recovery will not be so painful.
6. Change the appearance. Changes from the inside - changes outside. New color hair, hairstyle, makeup will help not only transform, but also reflect the facets of your personality in a new way. Now is the time.
7. To discard what interferes with life Oddly enough, but at the very moment when everything collapsed and life flies into hell, we get an excellent opportunity to start everything with blank slate... Perhaps this is the perfect excuse for finally quitting this stupid job, breaking up the stupid relationships that make you unhappy. If you are forced to start all over again, then there is a great chance to choose, finally, the right path.
8. Just let go. Not everything that happens to us carries secret meaning or a lesson. If past memories are holding you back and preventing you from moving, allow yourself to let go and forget all the pain. You yourself create your own life - you should not dwell on what has already passed.
9. Talk to people who have gone through something similar. Look for the right company among those who understand what you are going through. Read their stories, listen to the insights they have drawn, and use them as a reminder that you are not alone in this.
10. Make cleaning. Do not be lazy and do a big general cleaning - ruthlessly get rid of everything that you no longer use, and put things in order where you have not climbed for a long time. Even thoughts line up more logically when the house is clean, light and neat.
11. Do not forget about those who love us. Friends are known in trouble - everyone knows about it. Those who did not leave you difficult life span, offered a helping hand and stayed close - do not forget about these people and appreciate them.
12. Monitor your diet for at least a month. V stressful situations we do not monitor our diet and eat just about anything - which aggravates our condition. For at least one month, try to think about what you are eating: eat more fruits, vegetables, cereals, meat and dairy products. You will surely notice positive changes - and the body will thank you.
13. Sign up for courses. New knowledge expands our possibilities - as you broaden your horizons, you will remind yourself that there is always something to learn. And who knows - perhaps you will discover new talents in yourself.
14. Make a budget. It's hard to keep your life in check if you can't even manage your finances. Reconsider your habits, budget - balanced spending is sure to add a little confidence and stability to your life.
15. Invest in the process, not the result. Too often, we have high hopes for future achievements that may not come true. Instead of telling yourself, "I'll be happy when ...", learn to enjoy what you are doing now. Learn to take pride in the fact that you have already begun to work on yourself, and not in what you would like to achieve in the future.
16. Learn a foreign language. This is one of the best available ways to remind yourself of the existence of a vast world that is beyond your usual life. The study foreign language proves that, if you wish, you can adapt in a foreign environment and reality - which means that the defeat that you suffered in your own life is not so terrible.
17. Learn to leave. Perhaps the most important step in regaining control of your life will be the decision to move away from the situation that was holding you back. It takes courage to leave behind something that was once important in life. However, doing so will provide an incredible opportunity to start something new.
18. Allow yourself to be happier. Often we are afraid to admit that we deserve more, and because of the lack of confidence in our own strengths, we miss or even do not even notice the opening opportunities. Do not put obstacles and tight boundaries in front of yourself - allow yourself to be happier.
19. Limit communication with people unpleasant to you. There will always be people who suck out joy and hope in exchange for a dose of the poison that they can pour out on others. Separate yourself from these people by setting clear boundaries. Even if they are the ones you love.
20. Give up one bad habit for 100 days. Not drinking, smoking, being active, and eating right - such a task will strike fear into any person, even before he starts it. Instead of such a radical task, try to get rid of one of your defects for 100 days - this time it will be enough to notice the result, but at the same time not enough to completely get rid of it. Who knows, maybe you will feel how great life has changed, and you want to get rid of the habit forever.
21. Try what is really scary. Nothing adds confidence like overcoming your own fears. Make a conscious challenge to something that has long scared you - although it may seem ridiculous over time, such a small victory will inspire you more than you might imagine.
22. Look back. Think back to how broken and lost you once were, and see how you have become since then. You can't do everything at once, but now you are on the right way... And, of course, much better than that who they once were.
23. Forgive others. Forgive the Universe. Forgive yourself. Don't let anger or fear keep you trapped in the past. Allow yourself the opportunity to forgive those who have wronged you, forgive the injustice, and forgive yourself for all the mistakes you have made. Forgiveness does not absolve other people of responsibility, but give yourself the freedom and space to move on. And finally return to your own life.
It happens that in a woman's life everything goes wrong ...
Personal life does not add up, health leaves much to be desired, there is no work or I don’t like it at all, money runs out, constant conflicts with relatives ... In general, bad luck and complete collapse, some kind of black streak and it seems there is no way out ...
You try to solve a problem in one area, but the other pulls down. For example, how to achieve success in your career when health sometimes does not even allow you to leave the house? Or how to meet your love and create great relationship when your family constantly pressure you, and self-esteem creeps down all the time?
There are plenty of reasons to just fall into despair and ... thereby create for yourself more more problems! The way out is to stop constantly focusing on what is and turn your gaze on what you want.
As a rule, we do not allow ourselves to dream well and fly in the clouds, and if we are full of problems, then dreams and dreams seem even more irrelevant. We think the way out of problems is to fight and win with them. You need to be strong, have nerves of iron ... But in reality, this is not at all like that.
If your life is full of tension, fatigue and pain, this is a signal that you need to relax for a long time and allow yourself to be happy without a struggle and without trying to deserve it.
Very often, a difficult struggle with difficulties is associated with the fact that a woman from childhood has become accustomed to being correct, being an excellent student - and trying to act as circumstances require of her, and not as she herself wishes. Such women lack audacity, healthy selfishness and contact with their wild and beautiful essence. They do not believe that well-being is their natural state.
You need to stop swimming against the tide, stop fighting ...
How do you stop fighting? Stop looking at your problems.
Personal life does not add up?
- It’s probably because I’m scary or because men just don’t like me.
Do you often get sick and feel weak?
- Somehow I am frail: all people are like people, but I just get sick right away.
Can't find a suitable job?
- I am lazy, mediocre, stupid, useless ...
Or the answer to all the questions might be:
- I'm just terribly unlucky!
None of this is true! Of course, you can always find flaws in yourself, you can look for confirmation of your bad luck ... But this will lead you to the wrong place where you are going to go.
Be bolder, stronger and more confident not in order to fight all this, but in order to allow yourself to enjoy life now, standing where you are now. Courage and confidence to enjoy, not fight.
You can say:
Okay, I will not pay attention to problems anymore, I will think about the good and try to enjoy life. But the problems will still not go anywhere, the pain in the body cannot be relieved so immediately, the man will not fall from the sky, new job he won't knock on the door, and money won't grow on a tree ...
To this I sometimes answer clients: "Hmm, why not?"
It is hard to believe that happiness will fall from the sky, although it may fall.
You need to SO let what you want into your life so that it is comfortable for you.
Indeed, getting everything you wanted in one day is somehow too much ... And, as a rule, no one chooses this path. More often it is more pleasant for you when everything unfolds gradually and sequentially, but at the same time let it be a little "seasoned with magic", otherwise you will again plunge too deeply into problem solving.
If you think that everything depends only on you and on your efforts, you will simply be exhausted again.
- But if you imagine that from now on you seemed to be caught up by a stormy current and carried towards the life that you have long dreamed of,
- if you expect a successful outcome,
- if you believe that from now on you are lucky,
- if you feel like you've found a magic gin lamp or a magic wand,
- if you manage not to return again and again to unpleasant thoughts,
- if you allow yourself to think that from now on everything will turn out in your favor,
- if you find the courage and audacity to say that you don't care what people think about it,
- if you trust your body, which asks for comfort, relaxation and pleasant sensations,
- if you protect yourself from unpleasant contacts and unpleasant deeds,
- if you find the courage to refuse everyone and everything that does not give you pleasure,
- and, finally, if you believe that your happiness has been there all this time and was expecting such a positive attitude -
then this happiness and your dreams will quickly enter your life!
And you don't have to wait several years or several lives. Even today you can feel positive changes in your life. At first a little ... And then it will take you over. Just don't stop. Your happiness and well-being are worth giving in to this process entirely.
Create your life!
The only problem is that many have forgotten that they are creating their own lives. What main tool creations - your thoughts, your attitude, your feelings and attitude towards something.
And for many, to start a new, improved version of their lives, it is not enough only for someone to confidently declare to them: "You can!".
I tell you - you can!
Art by Yelena Bryksenkova
The best way out is always through and through... ~ Robert Frost
“I sit on my hospital bed while waiting for both breasts to be removed. But in a strange way, I feel lucky. Until now, I have not had any health problems. I am a 69-year-old woman ... In a few hours I saw several dozen cancer patients in wheelchairs and on gurneys. And none of them was more than 17 ... ".
This is an excerpt from my grandmother's diary dated September 16, 1977. I read it about 10 years ago. He will remind me that there is always something to be grateful for. And no matter how good or bad I feel, I have to wake up every day and thank for life, because someone somewhere is desperately fighting for it, writes writer and blogger Mark Chernov.
The truth is that happiness is not about having problems, but about being able to cope with them. Here are some reminders of this:
1. Pain is part of growth.
Sometimes life closes the door because it's time to move forward. This is even good, because often we do not start moving until circumstances force us to. When times are tough, remind yourself that there is no pain without a purpose. Move on from what hurts you, but never forget the lesson she teaches you. Just because you are struggling does not mean that you are failing. Every great success requires a worthy fight. Everything will be alright; most likely not in a moment, but eventually it will be ... Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that causes pain, and pain that changes you. Instead of resisting this pain, let it help you.
2. Everything in our life is temporary.
Whenever it rains, we know it will end. Each time you are hurt, the wound heals. After the night, day always comes - every morning reminds you of this, but nevertheless you often forget this and think that the night will always last. Nothing lasts forever. And that too will pass.
If all is well right now, enjoy it, because it won't last forever. If it’s bad, don’t worry - it’s not forever. That life is not easy this moment doesn't mean you can't laugh. If something bothers you, it does not mean that you cannot smile. Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a second chance every second. The chance you should take.
3. Worrying and complaining won't change anything.
Those who complain the most get the least. It is always better to try and do more and fail than do nothing and succeed. Nothing is over if you lose; it's over, if you're only complaining. If you believe in something, keep trying. Don't let the shadows of the past cloud your future. Let this experience improve your life. And no matter what ultimately happens, remember - true happiness begins to arrive only when you stop complaining about your problems and begin to be grateful for all those problems that you do not have.
4. Your scars are symbols of your strength.
Never be ashamed of the scars life has given you. A scar means there is no more pain and the wound has healed. This means that you have conquered pain, learned a lesson, become stronger and made progress. The scar is a tattoo of triumph. Don't let your scars hold you hostage. Don't let them make you live in fear. You cannot make the scars fade, but you can start to see them as a sign of strength.
Rumi once said: “ The wound is the place where the Light enters you". Nothing could be closer to the truth. Out of misery came the most strong souls; the most influential people in that big world marked with scars. Look at your scars as a slogan: “YES! I DID IT! I survived and I have the scars to prove it! And now I have a chance to become even stronger. "
5. Every little struggle is a step forward.
Patience is not waiting; it is in the ability to preserve good mood working hard for your dreams. Therefore, if you are going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, there is no point in starting. This can mean a loss of stability and comfort for a while. You may not be able to eat what you are used to, or sleep as much as you are used to for weeks on end. This could mean a change in your comfort zone. This can mean sacrificing the relationship and everything you know. This can mean the appearance of time that you will spend alone. But it’s loneliness that makes many things possible. This is a kind of endurance test for how much you really want to achieve your goal. And then you will understand that the struggle is not an obstacle on the way, it is the way. And it's worth it. There is no better feeling in the world ... than knowing that you are ALIVE.
6. The negativity of other people is not your problem.
Be confident when bad things surround you. Smile when others try to defeat you. It - easy way support your own enthusiasm. When other people say bad things about you, continue to be yourself. Don't let others change you. You cannot take everything too closely, even if it seems personal. Don't feel that people are doing something for you. They do something for themselves.
Above all, never change to impress someone who says you are not good enough. Change if it makes you better and leads you to a brighter future. People will talk no matter what you do or how well you do it. All jokes aside - you only have one life. Therefore, do what makes you happy and be with those with whom you feel good.
7. What should be will ultimately WILL be.
You are empowered when, instead of yelling and complaining, you choose to smile and appreciate life. There are blessings in every struggle you face, but you must be willing to open your heart and mind to see them. You cannot make things happen. At some point you have to let go and let what is meant to happen.
Love your life, trust your intuition, take risks, lose and find happiness, learn through experience. It's a long drive. You have to stop worrying, asking questions and doubting all the time. Laugh, live every moment of life and enjoy life. You may not know exactly where you set out to go, but you will eventually arrive where you need to be.
8. The best thing you can do is keep moving.
Don't be afraid to get angry. Don't be afraid to love again. Don't let the cracks in your heart turn into scars. Understand that strength increases every day. Understand that courage is beautiful. Find in your heart what makes others smile. Remember that you do not need many people in your life, so do not strive to have more "friends". Be strong when the going gets tough. Remember, the universe always does what is right. Admit when you're wrong and learn from it. Always look back and see what you have achieved and be proud of yourself. Don't change for anyone if you don't want to. Do more. Live easier.
Just keep being YOURSELF.
Keep growing. Keep moving.
Translation of the article "8 Things to Remember When Everything Goes Wrong"
