Why did people become angry? V modern world quite often there are people who are embittered with life. When you walk down the street and suddenly look into the face of a passer-by, the desire to look at people disappears at once. Most walk around with sullen expressions. Everyone has their own problems in life. People lack material wealth, family prosperity, happiness and love. They look for it everywhere, but given that they see the bad sides in everything, few find it and therefore get upset and angry. All living beings on this planet were created in order to enjoy life and accept its gifts, but she loaded her brain that everything is done with great difficulty. Some believe that they are unworthy of blessings, they even stopped dreaming and believing.
All people love when theirs. But how can you understand and love an evil person? When, when trying to somehow sip it, to understand it, you come across thorns and insults addressed to you. Complaining about misunderstanding is a common manifestation of such a person's character. Well, how can you not be offended that there is no one to listen to and support you? Yes, you yourself reject any approach from the outside. Try to give your loved ones a chance and you will understand that they are not like that. bad people as it seemed before. If no one approaches you by himself, do not get angry and do not keep everything to yourself, come yourself, I assure you it will become much easier. And those around you will cease to be afraid and ignore you. When you need help, you need to ask for it, when you need support, there are many people around who can support.
It's hard to live if you don't feel strong support behind your back. Look at the world with different eyes, it is not as scary and cruel as it seemed. Even if some person is unfriendly to you, stop blaming him for this, think and perhaps understand that you yourself are to blame for the situation. Stop spoiling them, try to improve them.
Unreached goals
Unloved job, low salary, lack of growth and progress in life. Another legitimate reason for being angry. No one will be able to rejoice in what is happening in this moment if the pursuit of something does not work out. You should not close in yourself and take offense at life. Maybe this is just not what you need now, but if you really want to, then try other methods that you would never have undertaken before. The support and understanding of family members will help you with this. How to achieve this was written in the first paragraph. Every person needs goals in order to develop. It is quite possible that you do not have aspiration yet and you have not thought about what you really want. I propose to do it right now. You need to have some kind of end point in your head. Think about how you will live if you achieve your plan. Make a list and take action. The main thing is not to doubt.
It so happens that one successful businessman, but studied at school and institute somehow, and another excellent student in all subjects, with a bunch of letters and gratitude, but somehow the job is not found and in general life is not going well. That's when this wakes up negative emotion like envy. Everyone wants to live and not deny themselves anything. Most likely, who became a businessman never thought that he was not worthy of something or that he was jealous of another. He just had a plan for which he acted and soon got results. Do not be jealous of someone, appreciate what you have. Do not think that all the blessings fall from heaven into your hands, it is not. Most often for achieved results hard work and faith in successful outcome... Be happy for successful person, take a closer look at how he behaves and what he says. You can learn a lot of useful things for yourself. You, too, may be so, well, or even better. It all depends on you.
They say no evil people, there is offended by life... Resentment is also a negative emotion. And it takes roots from the fact that society is accustomed to blaming circumstances and other people for everything. What's the point of this? If you want to do something, you need to stick together, look for allies and general idea, and not take offense at each other. The fragmentation allows cities and countries, let alone a small team. Civil strife is a terrible thing. You must try to avoid its appearance at all stages of work. They can destroy everything. Need support, ask, need advice, apply. Nobody wishes evil. Stop thinking that way. Learn to help and support others and they will respond in kind to you. It is high time to understand that one should not look for enemies among friends. It is not profitable for you. Resentments divide people, make them strangers. Understanding in the future is very difficult to get back. Take responsibility for your actions and perhaps some kind of logical chain will be traced, you will come to the understanding that there are no guilty parties in the quarrel, there is only a desire to escape responsibility.
Negative stereotypes
How many times have you told the world that by emitting negative, you will attract even more similar situations that cause negative emotions. What does it take to be successful? Belief that everything will come true. If you want to taste success, feel like a successful and prosperous person. Let yourself breathe deeply. Remove the shackles of unnecessary statements that have accumulated in your head for many years. Let them go and start living differently. Think more about dreams, make plans, even the most incredible ones, build your life the way you dream about. Help each other push off the blind spot and start moving. You need to learn to give more. Everything will definitely come back. Of course, at first you will have to make an effort and show willpower, to prove to yourself that all the steps are not being taken in vain. Write how you want to see your life in a few years. Only without limiting stereotypes and act. Do not believe the words, try it better.
I AM
hate school! I wake up every day and try to find some
an excuse not to go there. Most I spend years on sick leave,
I constantly get colds, it seems to me, because I hate so much
school.
And it's all about my classmates. It all started two years
back when I switched to a specialized English school... If
If only my mother knew! .. And then it began: on the first of September I came
on the ruler, and the very first boy from my class who saw me,
shouted: "Look, the bespectacled elephant is coming!" I even
I didn't immediately understand that he was talking about me. I used to have special problems
was not, I knew, of course, that a photo model from me will not work, but
never really worried about her weight. And then right away
felt so ugly! I almost cried, but controlled myself.
The girls in the class did not accept me either, she started talking to me
only one girl Katya. And the boys already in the first lesson began
throw paper balls at me and call me names in every possible way. Well
did I do that to them? Then the teacher called me to the blackboard and called
my last name, but I have it not very sonorous, to put it mildly: Kolbasnikova.
What started here, everyone was just dying of laughter! And follow me right away
the nickname of the Fat Sausage stuck.
I tried to talk to the class teacher.
But she said I was already a big girl to complain about. My
Mom thinks so too, and the main thing for her is that she arranged for me
to a prestigious school and what will I get a good education... How can I
to get it when I sit in class and am afraid that they will call me to the blackboard,
and everyone will start shouting: "Fat Sausage to the board!" Study
I have become much worse than in the previous school, I just don't care,
what grade i get. I mark every day on the calendar, I wait
when Saturday comes and you don't have to go to school and hear again
all these cruel words.
And recently, I found myself gaining even more weight.
Probably due to the fact that I come home angry and tired - I open
refrigerator and eat, for example, three whole cutlets. Or a chocolate bar.
And I can no longer stop, I eat everything that I find. Mom has already become
hide food from me! And at school they started teasing me even more,
and even the teachers don't stand up for me.
I do not know what to do. Until the end of the school there is still
two whole years, how can I survive them? I have no one to even talk to
heart to heart, with friends from old school we do not see each other, mom does not want
nothing to hear about my problems in class. If I still end
school, then I will definitely become a psychologist. And I will help the same
girls who are bullied and called names. But while I'm waiting with horror for Monday,
because I know that I will have to go to school again ...
Ksenia".
Psychologist Olga Ilyina comments on the situation:
How much, Oksana, I need to tell you. And all the first
queue. Therefore, reading in order, know: EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT.
MUST show this article to your mom to find out that
it is really important for her: the prestige of the school and the fact that her daughter is there
studying, or your psychological comfort and NORMAL SELF-ASSESSMENT.
I hope that you are important to mom after all. Simply, apparently
she did not have time to STOP and REALIZE that you really
poorly. That even the most best school be good to you
if for two years not only the students, but also the teachers DO NOT SEE
OR SHOOT away from your problem. (By the way, information for your
mothers: if there is a person in the class who is destined for the role of a goat
scapegoat, it speaks of great pedagogical (!) trouble.)
In this case, it is best to transfer you to another (better
old, if there were friends) school. And you can learn everywhere, it was
would desire.
I didn't just call you by another name, try
and you call yourself differently. After all, Xenia means "stranger".
But Oksana is a completely different song. Open any book, especially
Ukrainian: whatever Oksana, then kindness and become. And to become is not
only beauty, but also relief forms.
Hence the following: do gymnastics. You need to develop
flexibility. And also, if possible, go to Eastern dance
or belly dance. In this case, you will not only feel good
your body, but you will also get the job done gastrointestinal tract, but it became
be, the metabolism will accelerate, and you will gradually lose weight.
In the meantime, the court and the case, imagine that you are transparent
glass, and all the nasty things that are addressed to Xenia pass by, like
through the glass, without touching you: after all, you are not only transparent, but
and they are not addressing you: you have a different name.
And let mom not forget that the school needs to be changed: it is important
not only get a secondary education, but also feel
capable of more.
And the last thing: work on your body in spite of your enemies,
but for yourself, your beloved. Improve yourself. You have a lot to strive for.
The harsh truth is that inhuman cruelty is unique to humans. No animal can compare with a person in the strength of manifestations of hatred towards their own kind. Why are people so angry?
Every day in the means mass media we are faced with examples of terrible cruelty. Beatings, murders, massacres, torture ...
The guy killed the girl because she laughed at him in the company. 122 blows were found on the victim's body. The examination found that the very first blow was fatal. Psychiatric examination showed the guilt of the culprit.
Where does this inhuman cruelty come from ?!
The harsh truth is that inhuman cruelty is unique to humans. No animal can compare with a person in the strength of manifestations of hatred towards their own kind. Why are people so angry? Let's try to figure it out from a scientific standpoint.
Man is an animal
Laureate Nobel Prize German zoopsychologist Konrad Lorenz, impressed by the horrors of World War II, decided to find out the nature of human aggression. As a zoologist and devotee evolutionary theory, he decided to start by investigating the nature of aggression in animals. Lorenz found out that all animals have mechanisms of hostile behavior towards representatives of their own species, that is, innate intraspecific aggression, which, as he argues, ultimately serves to preserve the species.
Intraspecific aggression performs a number of important biological functions:
distribution of living space so that the animal finds food for itself; the animal protects its territory, the aggression stops as soon as the borders are restored;
sexual selection: only the strongest male gets the right to leave his offspring; in mating battles, the weak is usually not finished off, but driven away;
protection of offspring from the encroachment of strangers and friends; parents drive away, but do not kill, invaders;
hierarchical function - determines the system of power and subordination in the community, the weak obeys the strong;
the function of partnership is coordinated manifestations of aggression, for example, to expel a relative or a stranger;
the function of feeding is built into the species that live in places with poor food resources (for example, the Balkhash perch eats its own juveniles).
It is believed that the main forms of intraspecific aggression are competitive and territorial aggression, as well as aggression caused by fear and irritation.
Are animals kinder than people?
However, after analyzing the behavior of more than 50 species, Konrad Lorenz noticed that animals with natural weapons in their arsenal in the form of huge horns, deadly canines, strong hooves, strong beaks, etc., have developed behavioral analogues of morality in the process of evolution. It is an instinctual prohibition to use one's natural weaponry against an animal of its own kind, especially when the defeated person demonstrates submission.
That is, in aggressive behavior animals, an automatic stop system is built in, which instantly responds to certain types of poses indicating dependence and defeat. As soon as the wolf in a fierce fight for the female substitutes the jugular vein in the neck, the second wolf only slightly compresses its mouth, but never bites through to the end. In a battle of deer, as soon as one deer feels weaker, he becomes sideways, exposing the enemy to an unprotected abdominal cavity... The second deer, even in a fighting impulse, only touches the opponent's belly with its horns, stopping at the last second, but not completing the final deadly movement. The stronger the animal's natural weapons, the more clearly the “stop system” works.
And vice versa, poorly armed species of animals do not have instinctive prohibitions on lethal aggression towards their relative, since the harm caused cannot be significant and the victim always has the opportunity to escape. In captivity, when the defeated enemy has nowhere to run, he is guaranteed to die from more strong rival... In any case, as Konrad Lorenz emphasizes, in the animal kingdom, intraspecific aggression serves solely to preserve the species.
Lorenz considers man to be a naturally weakly armed species, therefore, having no instinctive prohibitions on causing harm to his own kind. With the invention of weapons (stone, ax, gun), man became the most armed species, but evolutionarily devoid of "natural morality", therefore easily killing representatives of his species.
There is one nuance here. We humans, unlike animals, are conscious. This difference is the root of the cruelty of man to man in comparison with the intraspecific aggression of the animal.
Man is an animal that is never enough
System-vector psychology Yuri Burlan says that consciousness was formed gradually as a result of the growth of our shortages. Animals do not have such a volume of desires as humans do, they are completely balanced and in this they are perfect in their own way.
A person always wants more. More than he has, more than he can get, and if he got it, then more than he can eat. Lack is when “I want, but I cannot get”, “I want, but cannot”. This lack gave an opportunity for the development of thought, which became the beginning of the separation from the animal state, the beginning of the development of consciousness.
Dislike as an engine of progress
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan claims that man, unlike animals, feels his own uniqueness, separateness from the other.
For a long time experiencing hunger and not being able to fill it (our species was the weakest in the savannah - without claws, teeth, hooves), a person for the first time felt his neighbor as an object that can be consumed in himself, for food. However, having arisen, this desire was immediately limited. In the delta between the desire to use one's neighbor in oneself and the restriction on this desire, a feeling of hostility to the other is born.
But that's not all, once breaking out of the animal volume, our desires continue to grow. They double. Today they bought a Zaporozhets - tomorrow they wanted a foreign car, today they bought a foreign car - tomorrow they wanted a Mercedes. On this simple example it is clear that a person is never content with what he has received.
Our ever-growing desire to receive constantly leads to an increase in dislike. Lorenz proved that animals have an intraspecific unconscious coordinated instinct that does not allow intraspecific aggression to destroy the species. For humans, intraspecific hostility still poses a threat to survival - as it is constantly growing. At the same time, it is for us and is an incentive for development. It is in order to limit hostility that we first created the law, then culture and morality.
Why are people so angry? Because they are people!
Man is a lack of pleasure, desire. Our desires are not satisfied - we immediately feel dislike. Mom didn't buy ice cream: “Bad mom!”. The woman does not meet my expectations: "Bad woman!" I feel bad, I don't know what I want: “Everyone is bad. The world is cruel and unjust! " Moral and cultural norms it is not in vain that they are vaccinated in a child with early childhood... Mutual help, empathy, empathy for others help us cope with our selfish desires for pleasure.
Today our desires continue to grow, and the existing constraints stop working on them. Skin law and visual culture have almost worked for themselves. Today we are rapidly dashing into the future, where a person is no longer moral (since his desires are too high to be limited by morality and ethics), but not yet spiritual. Today we are ready to eat anyone, use the whole world, if only we feel good, real troglodytes - but this does not mean degradation. This is another step in our growth, the answer to which should be the emergence of new level restraints.
The path from animal to human
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that in the conditions of increased desires and increased hostility, no restrictions on hostility will work anymore. Our coexistence in the future will be built not on prohibitions, but on complete disappearance dislike per se.
As opposed to realizing one's oneness and the other as an object for saturating one's lacks systems thinking gives an awareness of another person as oneself, as well as an awareness of integrity human species... It - new level consciousness, much higher than the intraspecific animal unconscious instinct. This is the awareness of oneself as a part of all humanity and the awareness of another person as a part of oneself. And, as a consequence, the inability to harm another. Just as a person cannot intentionally harm himself, so he cannot harm another, because his pain will feel like his own.
In fact, people are not evil and not at all worse than animals, people are just not mature enough. We have grown so mentally that we have invented the hadron collider, but have not yet matured to realize ourselves. Daily outbursts of aggression, violation of all norms of morality and ethics at the level of entire states are evidence that the time has come.
And it is easier to stop aggression than it seems at first glance. You just need to see the root causes of what is happening and eliminate them. To understand that the picture of the world around us with cruelty, murder, crime is the result of the fact that each of us considers himself the only one and feels only our desires. And for the sake of my "want" I am even ready to kill, if need be. But the paradox is that even this will not fill a person with happiness. Neither the one who shows aggression nor the one against whom it is directed can actually feel joy, and will be equally unhappy.
This can be corrected by realizing the true desires and capabilities of each of us. Understanding the inner potential of a person and his intentions, we will be able to clearly understand what can be expected from our environment and how to most adequately manifest ourselves among others. When we deeply understand another person and the motives of his actions from the inside, we do not become victims of unexpected aggression, because people's actions become easily predictable and predictable. Moreover, we can consciously choose our environment in which we will feel comfortable and safe. It would be ideal if every person in the world could do this and everyone would be happy, but even if this is still far away, then you should start with yourself.
To register for free online lectures on Systemic Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan, follow the link:
The article was written based on the training materials “ System-vector psychology»The world today has become greedy. In other words this concept can be defined as commercialism, love of money, greed for material goods, greed. What does greed mean? This is an irrepressible craving for money or material goods, and often they are strangers. Like a feeling this phenomenon can be seen in many life examples.
In religion, greed is considered one of the deadly sins. Greedy man always carries anger at others, does not trust anyone and avoids deep relationships. This leads to loneliness, when a person can be surrounded by people, but he will understand that he cannot be open to anyone.
Greed pushes people to do many things that they may later regret. Often, various crimes (theft, robbery, beatings, etc.) are committed on the basis of greed for material wealth. Modern people create families based on the love of money. They are friends with each other because they want access.
Of course, I wonder why people became so angry and cruel, you might think they were different before. There is a paradox: people always think that modernity is going to hell, but in the past, yes, it was good there, not like now. Trash, not time ... And people partially or completely correspond to time. But still, we will try to consider why people are so bad, and whether this is true.
It is important to understand that the categories "good" and "evil" are usually relative. Of course, there are absolutely terrifying acts that a Muslim, Christian and atheist will condemn alike. But now it's not about that, but about the norm. If we take, for example, murder, then, on the one hand, it is evil, but on the other hand, when a terrorist or a maniac is eliminated, it is not such a evil, from the point of view of an ordinary person.
Or another example. Now the controversy about the legality of euthanasia as a phenomenon does not cease. Some shout that a person must die with dignity, and if he is tormented by pain.
Every day, continuous negativity of various scales penetrates into our life. The media helpfully report who killed, robbed, and shot down whom. Constantly various sources information bring to our attention information about new cataclysms, political troubles. And the positive, in comparison with the amount of negative news, is negligible. One gets the impression that there is absolutely no good and good left in the world. Unfortunately, this stream “clogged up” the heads so much that today no one even thinks about why people are so cruel? How can this be changed? And is it really modern humanity so heartless?
Main reasons
Why so much cruel people? The answer to this question should be sought in the causes of aggression. It should be noted that the manifestation of cruelty is quite diverse. At the same time, it is not difficult to identify it. A person who hurts another by making him suffer, it does not matter, mentally or physically, fully aware of this and striving to cause harm.
The greed of people is avarice, greed, greed, in other words, it is an immoderate desire to receive Money or other material goods. In Catholic theology, human greed is considered one of the main flaws, basic vices, mortal sins, since it leads to an increase in troubles and worries, internal anger, unsociability. In addition, the described vice relentlessly provokes fear of loss and anger.
The word greed is associated with greed (covetousness), which is condemned by all nations. Often this sin serves as a motive for committing a grave wrongful act or is the cause of a tragedy.
Feeling of greed
Covetousness or greed is a vice, which consists in a person's lack of control over own desire receive material goods... At the same time, as these very benefits are accumulated, the feeling of satisfaction does not appear, on the contrary, greed is more and more inflamed.
Humanity has invented 7 deadly sins. Greed is one of them. What is this feeling? Many people confuse greed with greed. This is very close, but there is more to come. Many argue that this is selfishness. Well, greed also includes this quality. The article will tell you about what greed means, give examples and consider the problem of this phenomenon.
What is Greed?
What is Greed? It can be noted that many people act out of the intention to receive something. It is good when a person receives money or any other material wealth. All people need material benefits, which is natural in the world of market and economic relations. However, for some people, this desire is excessive. They are no longer interested in anything like the material side of any issue, where they will receive some reward (preferably in monetary terms). This is called greed.
Why are people greedy? Greed gives rise to evil in people, therefore, greed is called one of the most impartial manifestations in Christianity: anger, greed and crime are born of greed. Why do you need to follow the 10 commandments? Only insatiable greed for knowledge and doing good deeds are justified, and everything else is below in the article.
Why are people greedy
Greed is most often taken to mean specific personal data:
desire to have and spend more money to myself; lack of desire to lose your wealth; striving for accumulation and acquisitiveness.
Sometimes, a completely non-greedy person may show actions that are associated with greed, for example, unwillingness to spend money on yourself or your loved ones - this may be caused by a material situation or a number of circumstances.
Greed has existed at all times - this is natural quality character, since material goods have always determined the level of existence and life.
The concept of happiness in this world
What is greed? That we are silent, do you really not know what greed is? ... Yes, an insatiable desire for the fruits of material labor, greed. What is the reason for the occurrence? What is the reason? The main reason for greed, why? No. What is the main cause of greed? I told you in my lectures. This reason is the nature of the soul, what kind of nature, what type of nature, eh? Yes. The soul has such power, it wants to be happy, and this desire is limitless, it has no end. Therefore, a person who sees his happiness in the material, i.e. he believes that the more things he has at home, the more money he has, the happier he will be, this is greed. Got it, right?
Greed means our original state: we want to be happy. Therefore, can a person be accused of being greedy? In the same way, we can accuse each other of the fact that we are generally doing the wrong thing here.
Why modern people so heartless and cruel. Over the past few years, people have become callous and less tolerant.
This is the conclusion reached by the National Service sociological research by analyzing the results of a large-scale survey on human relations and social climate change in the UK. And this is not the only country where attitudes towards the poor have noticeably deteriorated.
Every second Briton today thinks that the country is too soft social politics and the benefits are too large.
One in four is convinced that people have financial difficulties only because they are lazy and slow. Since 1983, when statisticians first conducted such a study, the number of those who believe that the state cares too much about the unemployed and the poor has almost doubled - to 54%.
People have become cruel, too cruel. It is especially scary to watch today's news: someone was beaten with bats, someone was tortured, someone was shot, a bomb was dropped on someone ... We are literally shaking with cruelty, can it really be even worse? What is happening to our world? Why do people become angry and violent? And how, in the end, can we stop this orgy of pain, horror and despair?
Why are some people kind and some cruel?
Why did modern people become especially cruel?
Why do kind people become cruel? Under what circumstances does this happen?
How to stop the cruelty in the world? How to change the world for the better?
When the world begins to seem wrong, and people are too cruel - this is a signal. Not that you need to pout, lock yourself in an apartment, be afraid of everyone around you, be offended or angry. No! This is a signal for action. This is a signal that it is worth changing the world so that it becomes better and kinder.
The sage and the disciple are sitting at the gate of their city. A traveler approaches and asks:
- What kind of people live in this city?
- And who lives where you came from? The sage asks.
- Oh, scoundrels and thieves, vicious and depraved ...
“It's the same here,” the sage replied.
After a while another traveler approached and also asked what kind of people were in this city.
- And who lives where you came from? The sage asked.
— Beautiful people, kind and sympathetic, - answered the traveler.
“You will find the same here,” said the sage.
- Why did you say to one that villains live here, and to another - that good people live here? The disciple asked the sage.
“There are good people and bad people everywhere,” the sage answered him. - It's just that everyone finds only what they can.
Each of us at least once in our life has come across the indifference of others. The negative opinion and attitude of another person can be harmful, annoying and even infuriating, but when it is completely absent, this cannot but be alarming. Nobody wants to face aggressive people but it's hard to deny: they are alive, they are experiencing emotions. They can be reassured, and their problems tend to be resolved. But how to react to a person whose gaze expresses nothing, who experiences neither pain nor compassion? The answer is fairly straightforward: be afraid of indifferent people.
It would seem, what is it about them? Gray personalities, to whom even the word "personality" is difficult to apply. Yes, sometimes they are crammed with knowledge, they can easily retell the plot of a book or film, have a hobby - in a word, be like all people ... But try to talk to them. You will lose interest in what they are saying after the very first phrases, because they will be deprived of a simple human relationship.
if a person does not live for himself, i.e. lives for himself, he will not refrain from greed. This is the nature of the soul. Sooner or later, he will want to rip as much money as possible, it's only a matter of time. If a person lives for himself, and he thinks: I will live modestly, to whom I am doing bad, I good man, nothing bad to anyone, I just earn, I have a salary, that's it, it's only a matter of time when he becomes greedy. This is the nature of the soul, it is infinite in nature, it cannot stop at what has been achieved. Today is one thing, tomorrow is another. Therefore, there will be no happiness in this, the family lives in peace, it just quietly earns as much as it should, and that's it, no problems.
A moment comes, and you all now remember your lives, someone, many people had it, the family lives in peace, does not bother anyone, lives for itself, earns honestly, a moment comes, and all this happiness collapses due to greed.
Once a day, continuous negativity of various scales seeps into our lives. The media helpfully report who killed, robbed, and knocked down whom. All the time, various sources of information bring to our attention information about new cataclysms, political troubles. And the positive, in comparison with the amount of negative news, is negligible. A memory is created that there are no good and good things left in the world. Unfortunately, this stream “clogged up” the heads so much that now no one even thinks why people are so merciless? How can I change this? And is the modern population of the earth really so soulless?
Main prerequisites
Why are there so many bitter people? The answer to this question should be found in the reasons for the emergence of anger. It should be seen that the manifestation of ruthlessness is quite diverse. With all this, it is easy to identify her. A person who inflicts pain on another, forcing him to suffer, not fundamentally, morally or on physical level who is one hundred percent aware of this and seeks to cause harm is cruel.
Psychologists identify three reasons why people are violent:
- Dissatisfaction with life... Individuals dissatisfied with their own fate are quite often exposed to stress and depression. These emotions overwhelm their souls so much that they are ready to break free at any moment. That is why all the negativity is often spilled out by mothers on children. Some people, under the influence of anger, break tree branches, beat animals. This spiritual state is quite unsafe, as it threatens the owner with the appearance of neuroses, psychological disorders. In addition to all this, constant negativity seriously shortens life expectancy, leads to the development of heart disease or skin dilemmas.
- Indifference... Very often it specifically generates unjustified ruthlessness. Some people do not even try to realize how much pain their actions can cause, and sometimes words. They do not think how much they can hurt another. With all this, the object of their mercilessness is a weak creature that cannot show emotions and explain what pain they have caused him.
- Repressed emotions. From time to time, a person shows anger "on the side". This behavior is typical of those who, in their daily life, are obliged to hide and suppress desires, emotions, impulses at all times. In most cases, such ruthlessness is characteristic of grown-up children (especially boys) who grew up in a family of authoritarian parents. Employees who are obliged to unconditionally do the orders of the boss, not having the ability to reveal their will, in some criteria can show very cruel cruelty.
Historical ruthlessness
The older generation likes to wonder - why are so many violent people appeared? Earlier, everyone was kinder. Listening to their complaints, you involuntarily agree. One has only to open a newspaper or watch the announcements.
Previously, people were kinder. It is worth considering. And earlier - when? Millennia ago, when cannibalism flourished? Well, these people can, in fact, even somehow be justified. They were primitive. And they did not know at all about the human relation to their neighbor. Or maybe those who were in the era of the Inquisition were kinder? Or during the reign of Stalin? Great amount people sat in jail thanks to denunciations. How many such "good people" from the bottom of their hearts tried to present a "gift" to their neighbor!
Why does the feeling arise that there are so many bitter people now? Naturally, the media did their bit. In the era of democracy, they pay more attention to manifestations of ruthlessness. It must be emphasized that the level of humanity among the world's population has increased, therefore, anger is so very visible.
Business with family
It is common for all people to be ruthless. For some, this happens very rarely. Others quite often show anger. With all this, at least some can commit a fierce act, and quite often such outbreaks occur in reality good people... Unfortunately, all the negativity spills out on the closest ones. For those who are really loved and very dear. Why are people so merciless? What compels them to “rip off” their anger at their relatives, and to restrain their outbursts of anger with those around them? Why is it not possible to keep your behavior under control in a conversation with loved ones?
Yes, therefore, that relatives will not go anywhere. Communicating with strangers, a person restrains himself. There are many circumstances: both the eagerness to win over the interlocutor for oneself, and the fear of losing a fascinating friend. In the case of a boss, incontinence can threaten to be fired. But if you get into the circle of relatives, especially in a bad mood, even one word can make a person mad. It was then that a scandal flared up from a completely empty place. Naturally, this is fundamentally incorrect, but the accumulated negative asks for relaxation. That is why it pours out on the closest ones. They, even if they really offend them and quarrel with them, adore them so much that they will forgive them anyway.
Root of evil
The feeling of anger comes from nature. It is necessary in order to mobilize all forces for the struggle in unsafe moments. But how it will be applied by a person depends on the norms of morality instilled in childhood. If the ancestors show anger towards the child, this will certainly come back to haunt. Terror-based affairs between children and fathers are more likely to be adopted by the child in conversation with peers. It is in the family that the root of evil must be found. This upbringing clearly explains why people become bitter.
Although in this situation, the baby may develop a different model of behavior: he decides that he is bad and is to blame for everything. Such a child becomes a victim of the fierce appeal of peers. Often he does not even look for ways of protection, believing that he deserves something similar.
From time to time, the prerequisite for anger may not be violence at all, but overprotection. This way of upbringing brings a sense of permissiveness to the child's subconsciousness. The child imagines himself to be the most basic and asks for unconditional obedience. Unfortunately, a person who is not taught by his parents to respect others will not find this wisdom anywhere else. He will not even see how he humiliates.
Instability in society
An indirect prerequisite for ruthlessness is growing anxiety. Social inequality, inconsistency give rise to a feeling of discomfort. On TV screens, people see again the same ruthlessness. A person, whose psyche is formed, is able to distinguish grain from husk, he will not perceive anger as a call to action. The child, on the other hand, will swallow up, like a sponge, the scenes of violence on the screen. And he can perceive all this as some kind of school of life. It is fundamental to understand how similar television hurts the child's psyche, and the answer to the question: "Why did people become violent?" will be received instantly.
Feelings of rejection
It is especially developed in adolescence... But many adults endure similar feelings during adult life... Quite often, you can follow the picture when the baby loudly exclaims on the street and pokes his finger at a person with a different skin color or having a physical defect.
Adults react very differently. On a subconscious level, they feel a sense of threat. This is where the desire to withdraw from it appears. But for some it manifests itself in ruthlessness and violence. This particular feeling sometimes forces adolescents to scoff at their peers who are different from them. Why are people so merciless? Again, the instilled abilities of tolerance and respect in the family will not allow a child or an adult to behave this way.
How to defend the victim
Psychologists say that in a team it is quite easy to find what kind of people are ruthless and who is a "lamb". Therefore, it is recommended to identify the victim of anger by the following signs:
- low self-esteem;
- insecurity within oneself;
- full acceptance of the notion that the problems are deserved.
One should start with an understanding of one's own "I". Any person has a number of advantages and disadvantages. He is what he is. And no one has the right to offend him. Only by fully accepting this truth, you can move further along the path of raising self-esteem, developing a sense of luck. The ancestors can help the child in this understanding. For an adult, since the pattern of behavior is ingrained, it is better to use the help of a professional psychologist.
Usually, hobby for some new business helps a lot. You can even enroll in a martial arts class.
It is very important to think about the reaction to the offender. He will accept you in a completely different way if the answer is good from his expectations. In some cases, a sense of humor helps. Try not to succumb to annoyance and to put a difficult conflict in the mainstream of a joke. With all this, learn to accept the least nasty situations.
How to deal with your anger?
The prerequisites described above give an idea of why kind people become bitter. But how to deal with such manifestations? What if you start to boil internally?
Perfectly cleanses from negativity physical exercise... After all, sport teaches conscious control over your senses and body. Psychologists often advise mastering breathing exercises... It will allow you to control both the body and the spirit.
Find a safe outlet for the accumulated negativity. Express your emotions with a click. Only not to relatives and not to an employee. Shout where necessary. For example, be specific football fan or go to rock concerts.
By the way, psychologists advise this technique: get up near the steel road in the evening. When the train passes, yell as loudly as you can. The noise of the wheels will drown out any sound. Nobody will hear you, but the body will receive the necessary relaxation.
Conclusion
Remember that only you can control the feeling of ruthlessness that appears within you. And this is quite within your power. If you want to find the answer to the question “why are people so merciless,” start with yourself. Analyze your behavior. Get rid of the poisonous feeling, because at some point it threatens to grow into severe depression.
