How to refuse a guy an offer to date? Of course, you can say that you do not like him, directly. But such a refusal can hurt a young man, offend, lower his self-esteem. Wise women they know how to refuse nicely and politely, while maintaining a good relationship.
Let's consider how to properly refuse a guy a date, we will give universal phrases that will help build a dialogue without mutual resentment.
Unfortunately, there are guys who don't get it the first time, stubborn and stubborn. With such you need to act decisively. Source: Flickr (Florian_Seelmann)
Why do you have to refuse? Reasons for nonreciprocity
Before talking about how to refuse a guy from dating, let's look at why sometimes mutual feelings do not arise. The reasons may be as follows:
- You already have a boyfriend or husband. Everything is clear here - you love your chosen one and are not going to change him for another fan.
- You don't like the guy who is proposing a relationship. It is difficult to build love without reciprocity. You can take a closer look at the candidate for life companions, but if no emotions arise in relation to him, it is better to refuse and not waste either his or his time.
- The guy behaves unworthily - he can calmly be rude, rude. Relations with such a “macho” are out of the question.
- All his feelings are only in words. He promises mountains of gold, but in reality he only speaks. You would like actions, without them you are not ready to meet.
- You suspect he's only suggesting dating to get you into bed faster.
Any of these situations is a sufficient reason to refuse.
Important! You should not think that by refusing, you offend or hurt the person. On the contrary, you save his time, which he can spend looking for mutual love. And you save yourself from obsessive courtship.
There is universal way how to refuse a guy to date. The phrases that you utter follow the same pattern. It is called "Compliment - Program - Compliment". This is the perfect way to say no politely so as not to offend the other person and to maintain a good relationship.
- Start with a compliment: "You are very good, I like spending time with you."
- Then voice the unpleasant (program): "But I'm not in love with you / I have a boyfriend / I doubt your sincerity."
- And finish with a compliment: "I am sure that such a well-mannered and intelligent man like you will understand me and will not insist."
If a guy is adequate, he will understand the first time and hear necessary information... If he really needs you and you are not in a relationship, he will try to win your heart by proving his feelings with actions (refers to the option "I doubt your sincerity").
Note! The KPC scheme works with normal, decent men. On manipulators, highly primative (used to getting everything by force, deprived of intelligence and does not understand the word "no") guys, this method does not work, alas.
How to refuse if he does not understand?
How to refuse a man an offer to date if the previous method did not help? Unfortunately, there are guys who don't get it the first time, stubborn and stubborn. With such you need to act decisively - block in social networks, blacklist your phone, avoid any contacts. It's great if you have a husband, boyfriend, brother, or friend who can talk like a man to an obsessive admirer and tell you harshly that you shouldn't be approached by him.
Important! Tough male conversation - last resort... First, try politely declining yourself - it works in most cases.
- How to refuse if he does not take your words seriously?
Most guys will take a correct rejection okay if you explain the reason. Don't be afraid to be blunt - it's best for both.
The guy proposed a relationship, but the girl does not seriously consider his candidacy - a common situation, the solution of which should be approached with special tact. is extremely subtle, and a rude refusal can ruin the whole further life a person, lowering his self-esteem and negatively affecting the ability to find a worthy companion in the future.
How to refuse a guy to date beautifully and convincingly
Often, a girl does not repulse her boyfriend, who, for whatever reason, is an unacceptable option for her. Most often this comes from a desire to increase their importance in the eyes of mutual acquaintances and especially girlfriends.
Sometimes such a boyfriend plays the role of " alternate airfield”Or pillows, in which you can cry from time to time.
It is quite cruel to torture a person, periodically allowing him to come and push him away. It is much more beautiful to act decisively, giving the boyfriend the opportunity to understand that he will never become the only necessary one.
A smart girl will not stoop to humiliation of a young man and will try to resolve the situation with minimal damage to the guy's psyche, as well as to herself:
- First of all, the conversation should take place without witnesses. It is advisable to think over phrases in advance of how to refuse a guy to meet, so as not to select the right words during a conversation. Persistence is needed. The young man should not have the slightest doubt that the girl is firm in her intentions and there can be no question of further meetings;
- You can, of course, offer to remain friends. However, if a guy is really sincerely in love, he should be kept from such communication. Therefore, it is better to minimize all possible contacts, never turn to him with requests and not provoke new hopes. Naturally, meetings at common parties of friends will continue to occur. You just do not need to distinguish him from the crowd, communicate exactly as with other acquaintances, but not close people;
- How to politely refuse a guy to date, so as not to drop his dignity? It is not worth saying that a relationship is impossible solely through his fault, for example, that a young man does not fit in character or interests, is untidy, does not inspire confidence. It is better to focus on your shortcomings;
- The girl can say that she is proud of the young man's attitude, but she herself is too windy and is not going to build a strong relationship. Perhaps this is hindered by the desire to devote herself to science, or the presence in her life of a person about whom she secretly sighs. In the end, you can refer to your frigidity. The main thing is to try to destroy the ideal image created by the young man's imagination;
- If the girl's own shortcomings seem to be advantages for the guy, a good option how to refuse a guy to meet, to explain that he is a great friend, but there is no sexual attraction to him. You can offer to continue to remain friends, of course, if this relationship does not abhor him;
- If an unfamiliar guy offered to meet, how to refuse in order to put all the points at once? Do not refer to the lack of time, the persistent gentleman will repeat his invitation later. It is better to immediately explain that a relationship is impossible, so as not to provoke vain hopes;
- For example, you can say that the guy is already there. If the young man does not believe it, arrange a “chance” meeting. Even if in fact there is no boyfriend, you can ask for the favor of a friend who can play the role of a lover;
- Sometimes a girl is hesitant and cannot call a young man to straight Talk... Fortunately, modern ways connections allow you to do this at a distance, since you can refuse a guy to meet in contact or with the help Email... It is better to write a rather lengthy letter with your own view of the situation and a request not to disturb you with courtship. An intelligent young man will surely understand the futility of trying and appreciate a delicate attitude.
However, such measures are good if the guy is adequate enough and is able to understand that persistence will not bring the desired result closer. What if, despite all the admonitions, the young man continues to courtship, which begins to resemble real persecution?
What to do in case of perseverance of the gentleman
The phrases had no effect, and the young man does not want to realistically assess the situation. In this case, you can resort to rather harsh measures, since not only the psyche of the unwanted boyfriend can suffer, but also your own.
If courtship seems particularly annoying, but does not go beyond the bounds of decency, you can try on the role of an actress. For example, a young man created the image of an unearthly ephemeral creature that feeds on sunlight?
It is worth destroying his idea by ordering a couple of glasses of beer in a cafe, telling others a vulgar anecdote. You can also introduce a special demeanor - to greet your friends with jolts on the shoulder, to laugh loudly at stupid jokes.
Another way to beautifully discourage a gentleman from yourself, to introduce him to the world of fashion. Not a single man can stand many hours of walking in salons with branded clothes and cosmetics. It is necessary not only to drag the obstinate young man to the shop, but to initiate him as a friend.
To do this, it is worthwhile to carefully select wardrobe items, asking for the opinion of a companion and promising to repeat the walk in a couple of days. In most cases, falling in love disappears immediately and forever.
Trying on different roles
Greatly helps in the issue of breakup and the role of a caring mother. Every day you need to call the guy several times, wondering how he slept, what he ate, whether he forgot to tie a scarf - it's such windy weather outside! In companies, you should also relentlessly follow the young man, not embarrassed by comical situations. A rare man is able to withstand two mothers.
A curious idea is to play the role of a matchmaker. At a party where an unlucky lover is present, you can ask him for a favor, for example, accompany a close friend. At the same time, it should be mentioned how dear this little man is.
Then the young man will be imbued with the importance of the task and is unlikely to refuse a little trifle for the beloved idol. Who knows, maybe a friendship will develop between two single people, which will eventually grow into something more?
Be carefull!
Sometimes failure causes aggressive behavior unlucky boyfriend. Jealousy, an understanding of one's inadequacy, imaginary humiliation by refusal, inability to achieve a goal lead to inappropriate behavior of the guy, up to physical violence.
If the behavior of a young person is alarming, it is necessary to report that the slightest rudeness on his part will lead to contacting the police.
Often, girls have the question of how to politely refuse a guy an acquaintance. Sometimes a simple no doesn't work. Someone perceives this as a green light for further action, others cannot understand at all how a girl can refuse a guy. What are the ways how to politely refuse a guy an acquaintance in such difficult cases?
1. Heart-to-heart conversation
Just say honestly and bluntly that the guy does not interest you, that you are already passionate about someone. It is important not to come up with something on the go, it is better to have a pre-thought out preparation that will reliably help.2. Complete ignore
If you are hesitant or the guy does not understand your refusal, completely ignore him - calls, gifts, letters, sms, conversations. As a rule, he ends up getting bored of it and looking for another girlfriend.3. Constant excuses
Each girl subconsciously has a mass of possible and impossible excuses written down to politely refuse a guy an acquaintance. You just need to try to remember them and apply them to the place.
4. Root
you can simply pretend to be a nerd, which, apart from books, is not interested in anything else. Bring all conversations to a discussion of theorems or historical events... Throw it in with dates, numbers, facts, and more. True, this method will not work on another nerd, a real one. But they rarely bother.5. Stripped
The main thing in this business is to always act inadequately when he tries to get closer or talk: you can shout, cry, run away. Or, on the contrary, let him come up, but start a conversation on some crazy topic, convincing him of crazy things. Believe me, you don't even have to refuse the guy, he will run away on his own.6. Unworthy Self
An excellent method to politely refuse a guy is to present him in such a favorable and unattainable light for you to fade in his rays. As a conclusion - I'm not worthy of you.7. Busy!
The easiest way is to dismiss a guy by saying that you are already busy, but without coquetry, but dryly and formally. Then you can go to ignore.
Deny the guy by classification
1. Stranger
In this case, you can refuse the guy by referring to the husband and children. You can use the method, pretending to be checked. Or express a willingness to introduce them to their parents. V in this case you can use a lot of ways to politely refuse a guy an acquaintance.2. A loving acquaintance
In this case, it is necessary to refuse the guy so as not to offend him. Try to talk to him honestly, not forgetting to emphasize your shortcomings.3. Close friend
In this case, it is very difficult to refuse the guy politely. Prepare for a heart-to-heart talk and be clear.4. Former
He knows you very well by heart, so pretending won't work. It is necessary to sew it off so that it is a sure refusal once and for all. Find a fake boyfriend, tell your ex what is not comfortable with him.Magic phrases
In order to politely refuse a guy an acquaintance, you can use phrases in the ensuing conversation that will scare him away. For example, you can ask if he has yellow teeth, be surprised at the current fashion with wet armpits, etc. But if the person has a good sense of humor, you will have to look for another way to politely deny the guy an acquaintance. Although think about it, is it worth it? It's nice to be friends with such.
In addition to personal communication, you can use phrases in SMS. For example, notify with its help that you cannot call back, because the phone is broken. Or say that your mother does not approve of your communication. The more stupid the phrase is, the better. Or you can just bomb him with SMS about every step you take.
You can use humor. For example, to demand, in exchange for acquaintance, immediately go to the registry office. But for some, nothing works except rudeness and you need to be ready for this. Sometimes you have to ask for help from others. Then there is no longer a question of how to politely refuse a guy an acquaintance - you must act decisively.
The relationship between a man and a woman is always an unsolved mystery. There are many questions here, but few answers. There is a reason catch phrase" Men are from Mars, women are from Venus". We are inhabitants of different planets, we think differently, we also perceive everything differently, but we cannot imagine life without each other. But, as life practice shows, mutual feelings do not always flare up between them. At the same time, it is very important not to hurt his feelings, not to violate his self-esteem.
There is no unequivocal answer to the question of how to politely refuse a guy to meet, since every person is an individual, and it is impossible for everyone to apply the same template. The main thing is to make it very delicate young man that you are perfect different people and don't fit together. Consider the fact that by inviting you to date, a man already has certain feelings of sympathy for you. Never switch to rudeness and aggressiveness, because male pride is extremely susceptible. Such behavior in the future will leave its negative imprint on his future relationship with the female sex.
How beautiful it is to deny a guy a relationship
If you are one hundred percent sure that you do not want to have any romantic relationship with a person, you need to tell him about it right away, without playing on his feelings, without encouraging him. You need to explain to the young man that you are flattered by his attention, but, unfortunately, a relationship cannot be a priori. Tell him that he good man, friend, but nothing more. The main thing is to convey to him that you do not have any romantic feelings for him. Never flirt or flirt when talking.
Even if you don't like a man, you shouldn't tell him about it in the eyes, especially since you shouldn't list all his shortcomings. Men are very susceptible and painfully endure such a negative attitude towards themselves. And by offending a person, you, thus, can permanently give him complexes, which in the future will give a negative result in relations with the female sex.
One of the few options on how to refuse a guy without offending him, to say that, unfortunately, your heart is busy sincere feelings to another person. Or just try to offer to introduce him to a friend.
How to refuse a guy an offer to take a walk
If it comes about a completely stranger and to a stranger, then in this situation you really shouldn't "bother", just say: "Sorry, I'm in a hurry." Such a short, informative, "duty" phrase will surely save you from dating.
It doesn't matter how and where you met the guy, but banal circumstances happened - he liked you, and, unfortunately, to put it mildly, you didn't really like him. He invites you to take a walk, but you don’t have a mutual desire, but you don’t know how to refuse a guy so that he doesn’t take offense. Naturally, we will look, at least ridiculous, when, when asked to take a walk, we say: "Sorry, I have a soul mate." If you look at it, so far the man does not offer anything specific. So, what are the appropriate reasons, and how beautiful it is to refuse a guy in this position:
- Fatigue. You might say that you are very tired at work or school, etc.
- Employment. Here the field is not plowed for your imagination - you can be busy from morning till night at work, you promised your mother to come to help with the housework, your friend to go to the doctor, etc.
But, in fact, in life everything is not as simple as we want it to be. Of course, there are times when he seems to have explained everything to a person in a popular and intelligible way, but he does not understand, or does not want to understand. Continues to aggressively seek you and your attention. How to refuse a guy to date in this situation? Try to choose tactics that annoy your fan. Maybe his eyes will open, if not his ears.
We've looked at a few classic ways to politely turn down a guy. Naturally, each of us must decide for itself how best to get out of such a juicy situation, relying on our knowledge, intuition, life experience, female wisdom, delicacy and tact.
Although a person has a desire to have his own happy family, not always a woman wants new acquaintances. Moreover, quite often there is no need for intimacy either. That is why more and more girls are interested in how beautiful it is to refuse a man. The answer to this question depends on three factors: what goal you want to achieve with your refusal, what you refuse, and who is proposing. Let's start with a breakdown of goals.
Suggest more
In fact, all women are different. There are those who refuse to force the man to ask for more. Perhaps this is the most strange type the fair sex. Why?
First of all, a man is not a submissive dog who, at the first call, must run somewhere, headlong. Often they want to get a direct answer to a question and move on. Often on the Web you can find disgruntled young ladies who are perplexed why a loved one proposed marriage to her a year ago, and today he goes to the registry office with another. But all because the girl was trying to fill her own worth. She said "no", but, as one saying goes, "no" and there is no trial. Even the weakest man expects straightforwardness, and he deserves it.
Nevertheless, many believe that there is nothing wrong with this kind of game. At the end of the article, you can find out about --- how to refuse a man so that “no” is perceived as “yes”. For now, let's look at a few more reasons for refusal.
An attempt to humiliate
Some pick up interesting options how to refuse a man, just to show his dominant position. Of course in modern society they are more surprised when a man is in charge in a relationship, but you must admit that it is not so easy for women to be at the helm. It is not for nothing that they say that by getting married, a woman becomes married - to her husband. Therefore, to seem stronger, taller, more courageous is at least a strange idea.
For those who want to humiliate a man with their refusal, there is an interesting recommendation from psychologists. Its essence boils down to the fact that such a method of self-affirmation only emphasizes the failure and lack of maturity in the fair sex. So is it worth it to prove something to someone in this way? important question.
Different paths
The most common reason for a woman to refuse a man is a banal incompatibility. Often, from the very beginning of the formation of a girl, she clearly represents the image of the desired life partner. The girl roughly knows what character traits a man should have and what should not be in him.
Therefore, when receiving an offer of any content from a man that does not fit her framework, one should not be surprised at the refusal. It is a pity, however, that sometimes men receive a refusal much better than those who fit the ideal of a girl.
What do they offer
To figure out how to properly refuse a man, you need to understand what exactly he wants. Some unfairly claim that they all have one thing on their minds, but as numerous polls show, this is far from the case.
The fact is that the offer to drink coffee does not always mean something else. Often a man wants to get to know a girl better, and the only sensible way to do this is to invite her for coffee or go to the movies.
At the same time, if something else is meant by a man in such a formulation, it can be recognized. Often the intimate intentions of a gentleman are clearly captured in playful tone, posture and gestures. Such men often try to resort to the simplest physical contact through stroking and light touching.
However, often, regardless of the intentions of the young man, the girl still refuses. --- How to refuse a man competently?
Why rejection is misunderstood
Often, no matter how hard a woman tries, all her “no” is perceived exclusively as “yes”. Why? There are a number of reasons for this:
- Softness.
- Fear of hurting or hurting feelings.
- Tact.
- Evasion.
Often times, a mild response is perceived as an attempt to add value. A man who received an indistinct "Well, I kind of ... This is the same ... I don't know" does not hear "No!" It's a loud “Try again!” Just being said in the wrong language. In that case, how to politely refuse a man and be understood right?
We should definitely not forget about "body language". If, upon refusal, a girl straightens her hair, throws her legs over her legs, plays with a shoe, "casually" touches the interlocutor, licks her lips, and so on, then the man simply does not take her words seriously.
The easiest method
The simplest way to refuse is to calmly say: "No, I am not interested in this!" In this case, the voice should not be guilty or justifiable. No tender words, pity in the voice or concern in refusal should not be. Let your whole look and tone show your attitude to reject the offer you receive.
If you doubt that you can force yourself not to make excuses, then after a firmly spoken phrase, you must leave. Yes, some may find it too dramatic, but it's actually a great way to relieve stress and reduce the likelihood of succumbing to possible pressure. Why?
It's simple. No matter how strict your "no" is, indecision, which is almost impossible to hide, can give reason to begin to convince you that your decision was wrong.
Why not ?!
- Nobody has the right to delve into your soul.
- The answer "No" is enough for any proposal.
- This is your comfort zone, why let someone into it.
Some ladies may think that saying the cherished three-letter word and leaving into the sunset is boring and uninteresting. Then you can try differently.
If you have known each other for a long time
Some have to look for options for --- how to refuse a man who was not even taken for a representative of the opposite sex. It is more difficult than with a stranger. Usually, at the time of the proposal to be together or go to bed with a young man, there is already a certain relationship, and often you don't really want to lose them.
In this situation, it is worth honestly admitting that the feelings that have appeared are solely your fault. Moreover, it is recommended to remind the young person that you are sensitive to your friendly relations and do not want to lose them. However, it is recommended to emphasize that by stepping over this very "friendly" component, you will forever lose each other. If a man appreciates your relationship, he will back down. Otherwise, it is reasonable to ask the question: do you really need such a “friend”?
Talking about sex
In addition to the usual phrases like “I'm busy” and “I actually have a boyfriend,” you can use other methods of refusal. So, some psychologists argue that it is often not even a matter of words. What does it mean?
If intimacy offers unfamiliar man, let your tone of voice, volume and general form they will show only one thing - with you he will not receive anything except self-esteem, restrained by refusal. Let it be caustic phrases about the inadmissibility of contact with the first comer, who can give not a bouquet of flowers, but a visit to a venereologist. Some, after a firm and in some cases contemptuous "no", put on their headphones and leave.
But how to deny a man intimacy if you have known each other for a long time?
Three options
A man you know is rejected for several reasons. Depending on them, an answer may be invented.
- Unwillingness to have sex with this person, in principle. In this case, any of the options suggested in the previous section will work.
- Unreadiness. If this is your man, but he is rushing things, then there is nothing wrong in honestly giving the reason. It should be said right away that you will not accept any arguments and will be deeply offended if you reapply in the near future.
- Conquer me game.
The last point has a separate scheme of actions.
How to say no to yes
Many people think about how to deny a man sex so as not to lose him. Of course, refusal will be unpleasant for anyone, because it quite strongly clings to pride and pride. However, if everything is done correctly, then the relationship will not only not fall apart, but will also reach a new level.
Although high morality is not considered fashionable today, men nevertheless do not accept women of free morals. It turns out that if a girl tactfully refuses sex, then she is not a "consumer goods". How might it look like?
Raising a man's self-esteem
Before getting up and leaving, you can say something like: "You are easier, otherwise I might not resist!" Naturally, a man will perceive this as a challenge or a game. Therefore, a hint that you should not hold back will not keep you waiting long. It is at this moment that the most key thought can be said: “I don’t want to be led by instincts!” - and leave abruptly. Some say: "We are not animals!"
What is achieved in this way?
- A man feels like at least Hercules, who can drive you crazy.
- The girl appears in the image of a person who knows her own worth.
- This behavior directly says: "I want, but not today!"
- Those who only want sex are eliminated.
However, it is often worth rejecting. Accepting an offer from one particular kind of man is inevitable.
How to turn down someone who is married or in a relationship
It should be noted that in last years the question of how to refuse married man, is becoming more and more relevant. Unfortunately, fidelity has long been out of trend. It will not be discussed below why a relationship with a married person is bad. Let's consider just a few answers for those who do not want to have anything to do with such a relationship.
The simplest thing is to say it bluntly. Alternatively: “I prefer not to be on the bench!”, “I’m not interested in being a mistress,” “Out there! Goodbye "," Your proposal is disgusting to me. " As before - firmly, clearly, without making excuses.
Some conclusions
If you bring all of the above into a few rules, then they will look like this:
- Speak confidently and clearly.
- Don't try to make excuses or explain your decision.
- Do not try to humiliate and do not be rude.
- Get out as soon as possible.
Often there is no possibility of choosing the "ideal" place and time for refusal, so you should not cheer a person with hopes, avoiding an answer. The longer you doubt, the more likely it will be impossible to refuse the offer!
