The ability to persuade has nothing to do with the imposition of any feelings, attitudes or thoughts on another person. It is important to understand that suggestion and persuasion are different.
By persuasion, we mean a certain view of the world, which prompts a person to act in a certain way, as well as the process of transferring this view to other people. For example, a guy has a belief that alcohol is evil. It is for this reason that he does not drink alcoholic beverages. The guy also tells his friends about which negative impact has alcohol on the human body, thus he tries to convey his belief.
The transfer of beliefs also occurs during the communication of a parent or teacher with a child. A similar situation is observed in the scientific field, when one scientist argues his theory, and another ponders it and decides whether to agree or not. Consequently, by conviction is understood deliberate process perception of information and its acceptance as one's own belief.
By suggestion is meant the imposition of attitudes, while critical thinking the person and his consciousness are bypassed. The subconscious is often used for suggestion. Examples include volitional influence, pressure, or hypnosis.
You also need to be able to convince. There are special persuasion techniques that make it much easier to convey your attitudes to another person. This is a kind of "base", having studied which you will discover new possibilities.
Persuasion techniques in pedagogy and in life
People have long researched the reasons that lead us to take certain actions at the request of another person. Undoubtedly, there is a scientific foundation under the ability to persuade. 6 basic methods of persuasion in psychology were deduced by Robert Cialdini. Let's look at 5 of them in more detail, because by studying these principles, you can significantly increase your chances of obtaining consent in response to your request.
The principle of consent
One of the psychological techniques of persuasion is based on the principle of consent or, as it is also called, the “herd effect”. When a person is in a situation where his indecision is manifested, he will be guided by the behavior and actions of other people.
For example, a group of people is offered to choose a tour to one of the proposed countries. Suppose that all those who have not yet decided will know that already 75% of tourists have chosen Italy. It is more likely that the rest of the tourists will also choose Italy, since this choice has already been made by the majority. The essence this method is simple: you do not need to try to convince a person by coming up with various arguments, it is much easier to draw his attention to the choice of the majority.
The principle of sympathy
The human psyche is arranged in such a way that it is difficult for us to refuse or disagree with the person we like. Have you ever wondered why this is happening? Let's look at three facets of this question.
- We have sympathy for those people who, we think, are like us. When communicating with them, one gets the impression that they are a reflection of us. We have respect for such people and a desire to agree with everything they say and do.
- We have the best feelings for those who praise us. It is difficult for such people to say “no”, because in this case we will be deprived of the praise.
- We like people with whom we are united by a common cause. In such a situation, a refusal can lead to a deterioration. interpersonal relationships and the collapse of the common cause.
A visual experiment showing the influence of sympathy was carried out among two groups of students. The groups were given the same assignments. One group was told, "Time is money, so start the assignment right away." Another group was asked to get to know each other and talk to each other before starting the assignment. As a result, in the second group, 90% of the participants worked together, as they managed to develop sympathy for each other. In the first group, only 55% of students worked together.
To effectively use the method of sympathy for persuasion, before starting a discussion important issues with your opponent, you need to see the areas in which you are similar and notice them. By pointing out the similarity in certain things, you will position your interlocutor, after which it will be difficult for him to disagree with you.
The principle of authority
People always listen to those they consider to be the authority. Therefore, if you have earned authority in the eyes of your interlocutor, it will not be difficult to convince him of anything.
University classes are a good example. If the subject is taught by a trainee who has not yet managed to gain credibility in the eyes of students, then, most likely, they will not listen to him and fulfill his calls to action. If the dean of the faculty comes to the lecture, then surely all students will listen to him attentively and follow the instructions, since he has great authority in their eyes. The principle of authority can also be used by celebrities in various promotions.
The principle of rarity
Remember the crisis when people started buying sugar, as soon it was supposed to disappear from store shelves and become a great rarity. This situation clearly shows that people tend to acquire something that is hard to get. Designer items are expensive and popular for the same reason. People are proud when they become owners of rare items.
Reciprocity principle
When a person does us a favor, we feel we should do something good in return. We often feel obligated to reciprocate the good things other people do to us. For example, if a friend helped us to do term paper, then in the future, if he makes any request, we will definitely help him. This is how the principle of reciprocity works.
When a waitress brings a bill in a restaurant and puts in a lollipop with it, she usually gets a tip 3% more than usual. It has been experimentally verified that by adding another candy to the bill, the waitress will receive 4 times more tip, only the second candy must be handed over personally. The principle of reciprocity also works in this situation. The key to successful application of the principle of reciprocity lies in providing a pleasant and unexpected service first, and then using what the person feels obligated to.
Persuasion techniques also include:
- Socrates method;
- orders and commands;
- placebo.
Let's take a closer look at each of them.
Socrates method
One of the most interesting persuasion techniques is the Socratic method. This technique consists in the fact that immediately before the main topic of the conversation, the interlocutor asks his opponent several abstract questions, to which he will answer positively. These can be questions related to the weather, well-being, and so on. The trick lies in the fact that after a positive context in the future, the interlocutor will be inclined to respond and think in the same spirit.
This principle of work human brain was noticed by Socrates, after whom this principle of persuasion is named. Socrates always tried to conduct a conversation in such a way that his interlocutor did not have the opportunity to say "no." We advise you to take this method seriously, because Socrates knew how to convince and did not cause any negative reactions.
Method of orders and commands
You've probably noticed the incredible power of commands and orders, which are important persuasion techniques. They require immediate implementation, prompting people to take certain actions without much thought. There are two types of orders and commands: incentive and approving. The incentives include: “Do it!”, “Bring it!”, “Go!”. Examples of approving commands and orders include: "Shut up!", "Stop!", "Stop!"
Placebo method
One well-known persuasion technique is the placebo effect, especially wide distribution he got his degree in medicine. The essence of the reception is that the doctor prescribes pills to a person with a certain disease. Naturally, a person believes that the pills he takes have positive impact and contributes to the process of his recovery. However, for the experiment, the doctor gives the patient pills that do not have any effect on the body at all. But the patient magically begins to recover. This principle is applied in other areas, and very effectively.
Attentiveness test
Which of the techniques are related to persuasion techniques?
- Socrates method.
- Orders and commands.
- Freud's method
- Placebo.
Persuasion techniques in everyday life
Also important are the following tricks beliefs: discussion, understanding, judgment and trust. These are the most understandable methods that we encounter on a daily basis and often apply unconsciously. For example, consider the principle of understanding and trust. When we feel that the interlocutor understands us, it inspires confidence. Therefore, in such a situation, we become vulnerable, and it is easy enough to convince us.
Condemnation is a strong principle. People are always worried about what others think of them, and this can play a cruel joke. We often don't do what we really want to do, simply out of fear of judgment. Therefore, using this principle, you can easily convince a person to act in a certain way.
Discussion is also one of the principles of persuasion. If we are ready to discuss, this already testifies to our openness to man. During an open conversation, you can give weighty arguments that will have desired influence to the interlocutor.
Now that you know the basic techniques and techniques of persuasion, your life will be better. But knowing is not enough, it takes practice to master the skills of persuasion. Apply the information obtained in this article to Everyday life and hone your persuasion skills.
Bosses and subordinates: who is who, relationships and conflicts Lukash Yuriy Aleksandrovich
Methods of persuasive influence used in the construction of speech
The main methods of persuasive influence that are used to build persuasive speech in order to convince listeners and persuade them to the speaker's opinion, his position, are:
- belief;
- informing (transfer of information);
- suggestion;
- an ethical way of persuading.
The effective persuasive effect of speech depends on the correct use of all the possibilities inherent in each of these methods of persuasion.
The main way of persuading speech impact on the listener is persuasion. The following forms of persuasion are used to build persuasive speech:
- logical belief;
- emotional persuasion;
- persuasion in the form of discussion.
Logical persuasion is carried out by logical operations of proving (proof), criticism and refutation. Proof is a logical operation of substantiating the truth of a judgment with the help of other true and related judgments; it is a kind of argumentation process, namely, argumentation that establishes the truth of a judgment based on other true judgments.
To ensure the persuasive influence of speech during its construction, it is necessary to follow the rules of logical proof, which boil down to the following basic provisions:
- the thesis and arguments (arguments) must be clear, precise, precisely defined;
- the thesis must remain identical, that is, the same, throughout the entire proof (justification);
- the arguments given in support of the thesis should not contradict each other;
- justification of a true thesis requires the use of true arguments;
- the truth of the arguments must be established (proven) regardless of the thesis;
- arguments (arguments) should serve as a sufficient basis for this thesis;
- in the course of proof (justification), it is necessary to observe the forms of inference (deduction, induction and analogy) and the logical laws of thinking: the law of identity, the law of non-contradiction, the law of the excluded third, the law of sufficient reason.
Violation of these rules leads to logical errors, which sometimes occur in speech, such as:
- a false basis, or the main delusion, when the justified thesis is tried to be deduced from false premises;
- anticipation of the basis, or unproven basis, when they try to deduce the thesis from such premises that themselves need confirmation of their truth;
– vicious circle when the thesis is deduced from the premises, and those, in turn, from the thesis;
- complete substitution of the thesis, or deviation from the thesis, manifests itself in the fact that, having put forward a certain provision as a thesis, the argumentator actually substantiates something different, close or similar to the thesis, and thereby replaces the main idea with another;
- a partial substitution of the thesis is expressed in the fact that during the speech the argumentator tries to modify his own thesis, narrowing or softening his initially too general, exaggerated or too harsh statement;
- excessive evidence on the basis of "what more arguments, all the better"; the argumentation in this case will be excessive or illogical, especially when, unbeknownst to himself, the arguer uses clearly conflicting arguments;
- mixing causation with a simple sequence in time, when reasoning according to the principle "after this, then, because of this";
- false adherence, when, in support of the thesis, they pass from what has been said in a certain relation to what has been said irrespective of;
- hasty generalization, when the whole thesis is justified with an argument confirming only part of the thesis;
- an error in the demonstration, when there is no logical connection between the arguments and the thesis being justified.
Of such kind logical errors cause a critical attitude to the position of the speaker from the audience. In such cases, in the process of polemics to convince and persuade each other, win, attract listeners to their side court speakers use two more methods of logical argumentation:
- criticism - i.e. logical operation aimed at destroying the earlier process of argumentation. If the purpose of argumentation is to develop a belief in the truth or at least partial validity of a position, then the ultimate goal of criticism is to dissuade people in the validity of a particular position and to convince them of the falsity of this position. Final goal when criticized, it is not always achieved. Sometimes it is possible only to establish the unfoundedness of the statement, and sometimes it is indicated that the statement is false or a low degree of credibility. Therefore, two ways of criticism can be distinguished: criticism of the argumentation and the establishment of falsity, or a low degree of likelihood of the statement. In the first case, the criticism is called counterargumentation, and the criticized position is called the thesis. A special case of counter-argument is logical refutation;
- refutation - that is, establishing the falsity of any position using logical means and proven positions. These kinds of statements are called rebuttal arguments. According to the direction of reasoning, criticism of the thesis is distinguished by justifying the antithesis and criticism, which is called reduction to absurdity.
A logical conviction in the form of refutation, criticism and proof is usually combined with an emotional conviction, which is designed to awaken, the use in subsequent thought processes of convincing experiences, emotions and feelings corresponding to the stated circumstances. A rational logical belief is stronger when it is perceived in a particular emotional state. This is due to the fact that emotions are a necessary element of any cognitive process and at the same time act as a stimulating principle, necessary condition knowledge itself. The need to resort to emotional persuasion in speech follows from the fact that, as established by the conducted research, in the perception of speech by listeners highest level understanding of the subject of speech, in which they not only understand what the speaker was talking about (remember the main idea), understand what was said about this (remember the main arguments), but also retain the impression, remember how the speaker spoke, is achieved only when the speaker succeeded in his oratory make a deep impression on people's feelings.
Persuasion in the form of a discussion is carried out through the exchange of arguments, statements in order to defend their point of view in the process of polemics. Speakers use this form of persuasion when, after listening to the speeches of all the participants in the debate, the parties speak up one more time - with a remark. Defenders often use this form of persuasion when constructing a defense speech to refute the position and arguments contained in the speech of the public prosecutor.
The use of these forms of persuasion presupposes the use of such a method of persuasive speech influence as informing (transmission of purposefully selected information). Deliberately selected and targeted information has great persuasive power and can seriously change the way of thinking and opinion of every person. In speech, the essence of informing as a way of persuading speech influence lies in the purposeful transmission of messages about some facts, information about the participants in the event in question, their behavior during, before and after the commission of the act in question and other information relevant to the case. By transmitting pre-prepared, selected and systematized information, the speaker exerts the necessary influence on the audience: the transmitted information increases the mental activity of listeners, forms one or another direction of them cognitive processes(perception, thinking, imagination), lead to the need to reassess individual circumstances of the case in question.
Correct application of information (transmission of information), different ways logical persuasion (proof, criticism and refutation) and emotional persuasion (as in the above fragment of Andreevsky's speech) creates the preconditions for effective use two more ways of persuasive influence: the ethical way of persuasion and suggestion.
Suggestion as a way of persuading influence is very powerful. In social psychology, suggestion as an additional means of persuasion is understood as the purposeful influence of a person on other people in order to induce a predisposition in them, to win their full confidence in themselves, to what they are told and, as a result, to successfully inspire them with their reasoning, to convince them of their loyalty.
The speaker's attempts to exert psychological influence on the audience without suggestion, by rational arguments alone, reduce the effectiveness of such influence, especially when it is necessary to conduct polemics. In the process of polemics, the evidence of speech, being the basis for constructing a convincing speech, does not yet guarantee the formation of an inner conviction among listeners about the correctness and fairness of the statements and arguments of the speaker. The practice of polemical statements shows that in a dispute it is possible to prove a certain position, but not convince others of its truth, and, conversely, convince, but not prove. Similar situations occur in competitive contests. litigation when the losing party (prosecutor or defense attorney), when developing and delivering a judicial speech, does not use a variety of methods of persuasive influence, including those that provide the effect of persuasive suggestion, that is, help to win over.
Speech provides a persuasive effect only when the listeners trust the speaker. The degree of confidence in the speaker's speech, especially in conditions of information uncertainty, with a lack of evidence, depends on his moral characteristics. One of the most important conditions for gaining the trust of listeners is the speaker's ability to deliver a lively, free, impromptu speech. Such lively, free speech more effectively affects the interlocutor or listeners (for example, during a meeting) because it provides not only evidence, but also an inspiring effect.
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One oriental sage believed that the purpose of eloquence is to induce people to do what they do not want, to turn away from what they aspire to, and at the same time make them confident that they are acting of their own free will. Without challenging this somewhat one-sided understanding of the goals of rhetoric, we only note that the ability to persuade has occupied human minds approximately since the existence of mankind. This problem remains open to this day. For example, in one of the works on this topic - "Leader and the ability to persuade" - Professor I. D. Ladanov outlined modern views on this matter. In his opinion, to be able to persuade means to be able to do four important operations.
Inform... A person must first of all know why what you offer him is needed. So don't to spare the time to sensibly tell what's what. It is useful to take into account the listener's temperament. The choleric person will prefer the deductive path - that is, first present the general picture, and then go to the details, the question for which the conversation is going must be put at the end, otherwise the impatient choleric person will not be interested in listening to everything else. A phlegmatic person, on the contrary, prefers to go from individual facts to generalizations, and therefore it is better to start with a problem statement, then he will be attentive to the details. But in any case, regardless of temperament, it is useful to see in the listener an independent and thinking person, and not a thoughtless performer of your ideas.
Explain. This should also be done in different ways, depending on the nature of the interlocutor. It is useful to instruct when you just need to remember something - the order of actions, a list of things to do, etc. Those who are used to acting according to the instructions will not mind if they put everything on the shelves. But this same technique is not very suitable for creative people who prefer to reason. To pose a problem, analyze all the pros and cons, and together with the interlocutor, or even independently find the correct answer - the most suitable form of cooperation for them.
It is difficult to count on success if you have in your asset a few thoughts that have been read somewhere - albeit true, but strangers. They can’t resist the beliefs — maybe the wrong ones — of your opponent. Therefore, first try to argue with yourself. : look for additional arguments, examples, select the most convincing! Do not skimp on arguments: just one is not enough and you will lose.
3. Prove. For this, first of all, facts are needed. With such arguments as “Yes, you must understand, finally, I wish you well”, you won’t go far. Therefore, you should not get involved in a discussion without having serious arguments in your favor behind your soul.
4. Refute. This occupation is not harmless, because at the same time the self-esteem of the opponent often suffers and, wanting to “save his face,” he becomes deaf to logic. “It's useless to argue with him,” they say in such cases. Psychologists believe that it makes no sense to argue at all. Having proved the inconsistency of the opponent's position, we are in at best we can silence him. But will he become our ally? Unlikely, because changing views takes time. A quick victory, of course, is impressive, but it does not work. Psychologists recommend remembering three social and psychological rules:
Appeal to self-esteem. According to the classics, it is a fraction, in the numerator of which is the opinion of others about a person, and in the denominator is his self-esteem. People with a developed sense of self-esteem prefer to firmly defend their position, while those suffering from self-importance either persist pointlessly, or easily agree, so as not to seem ridiculous. But both of them perfectly feel when the opponent respects their “I” and makes it clear - a form of appeal, an incentive to independent reflections, initiative; take into account the interests of the person... If you make the interlocutor feel that your proposals, not only do not contradict his interests, but also in some way coincide with them, then the chances to win him over to your side increase. We can talk, for example, about reputation, prestige, belonging to a certain communication group, realizing one's own capabilities, etc .;
show attention to the interlocutor. This will endear him to you and help you better understand each other. But only: no need to pretend, insincerity is immediately felt.
Before laying out your arguments, it is helpful to make sure that they are better understood. The necessary conditions have long been known - sufficient conversation time, favorable environment, where you can sit quietly, and, of course, at least relative silence. Without this it will be difficult for you and your interlocutor to create a “concert mood” in yourself. The essence of this term, proposed by the Bulgarian psychiatrist G. Lozanov, is that a person who is in a relaxed mood is more willing to perceive information.
impact on people ”. At one time, opponents of any kind of tricks hastened to declare it a benefit for novice hypocrites. Following this logic, it will be necessary to abolish the generally accepted rules of etiquette: we cannot always vouch for the sincerity of someone who wishes us good health when we meet. On the other hand, the rules of persuasion, like the rules of politeness, can hardly prevent someone from remaining sincere, just as they cannot make a hypocrite a model of honesty.
There is no point in retelling this book, it has already been published in our country, and therefore we will confine ourselves to brief conclusions.
1. The only way to gain the upper hand in an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the opinion of your interlocutor. Never tell a person that they are wrong.
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and decisively,
4. Maintain a friendly tone from the beginning.
5. Get the other person to immediately answer you “yes”, that is, start your reasoning with a question on which there is no disagreement.
6. Let most time says your interlocutor.
7. Let the interlocutor think that the thought belongs to him.
8. Try sincerely to see things through the eyes of another.
9. Be sympathetic to the thoughts and desires of others.
10. Trust the interlocutor, contact him better qualities, appeal to noble motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas, present them effectively.
12. Challenge, touch the quick.
Now suppose you have to convince a person who already has his own opinion, or tell him something not very pleasant about his success or behavior. At the same time, you do not want to offend him at all, or even more so to quarrel. For such a case, there are 9 more tricks in Carnegie's arsenal.
1. Start by praising and sincerely acknowledging the other person's merits.
2. Don't talk directly about mistakes. Give the person the opportunity to “save face” and at the same time make it clear what you expect from him.
3. Before criticizing others, start with your own mistakes.
4. Instead of giving orders, it is much more useful to ask: "Could you do this and that?"
5. Give people the opportunity to save their prestige.
6. Praise the person for the slightest progress — sincerely and generously.
7. Build people a good reputation, which they will try to justify.
8. Show that the mistake can be easily corrected.
9. Find a way to make sure that your request is fulfilled with desire.
These rules, of course, do not exhaust the vast area of human relationships touched upon by the American psychologist. ID Ladanov gives, for example, such methods of persuasion;
“Deceived expectations ”.
“Explosion". The technique proposed by A. S. Makarenko is to put a person in such conditions when an unexpected and unusual event or information makes him change his point of view. For example, there are many cases when religious people became atheists after learning about the unseemly behavior of the holy fathers. However, the fall of inflated authorities can sometimes push the unbeliever to break with dogmas.
Let us recall that the secret of persuasiveness lies not at all in protracted monologues. Here, for example, what figures are cited by the well-known specialist in the field of management P. Mitsich in the book "How to Conduct Business Conversations": if you take a conceived message for 100%, then what is expressed will be 70% of what was conceived, 80% of what was heard, and what was understood - 70 % of what was heard, and only 60% of what was understood will be remembered.
According to psychologists, about nine out of ten people do not know how to listen. And this applies, unfortunately, not only to your interlocutor, but also to you. The ability to listen, according to I. D. Ladanov, consists of three terms.
A. Attention
1. Respect the speaker, appreciate his desire to communicate something new.
2. Establish contact with him at the beginning of the conversation, making it clear that you are sincerely ready to listen.
3. Do not hide your eyes, look at the interlocutor,
4. Don't interrupt. Be patient and let the person say what they want.
5. Don't jump to conclusions.
B. Friendliness
2. Don't let your emotions run wild. When you feel that you are not in control of them, imagine yourself in the place of the interlocutor.
3. Don't rush to argue. By interrupting someone who didn't say everything, we arouse his annoyance, and she will not allow him to agree with the objections. Once discharged, he will listen much more willingly.
4. Do not show with all your appearance disdain for what the interlocutor has said or will only say. So you will not agree on anything.
5. Pause. Cool down your ardor, and at the same time let someone else speak.
B. Activity
1. Do not be silent, from time to time give signals that you understand what it is about, and you have a certain attitude to what was said.
2. Restraint is an excellent quality, but measure is also needed here. Otherwise, the interlocutor may suspect that you are treating him badly.
3. Don't try to be considered smart. Flamboyant philosophizing does not promote mutual understanding.
4. Be relaxed, but do not relax to such an extent that the speaker lost the desire to communicate.
5. If you are tired, it is better to apologize and postpone the conversation. “Invisible” yawning and stretching can ruin everything.
Pay attention not only to the words of the interlocutor, but also to their subtext. What, for example, is this statement about: “Many whom I considered friends were actually completely different. However, maybe I want too much from them? "
Is it about the fact that when you get to know people better, disappointment is inevitable? Or about being lenient with people? Or maybe a desire to find other friends is expressed here? To understand all this, one must try to look at the world through the eyes of the interlocutor,
Test your listening skills. Answer the following questions by giving a point grade. Always - 4 points, often - 3, sometimes - 2, never - 1 point.
Are you giving the other person the opportunity to speak up?
Do you pay attention to the subtext of the statement?
3. Are you trying to remember what you heard?
4. Do you pay attention to the main thing in the message?
6. Do you draw the attention of the interlocutor to the conclusions from his message?
7. Are you suppressing your urge to avoid unpleasant questions?
8. Do you refrain from irritation when you hear the opposite point of view?
9. Are you trying to keep your attention on the words of the interlocutor?
10. Are they willing to talk to you?
Calculate the amount of points. 32 or more - excellent, 27-31 - good, 22-26 - mediocre. Less than 22 points - you need to practice listening to your interlocutors.
This test will help you draw conclusions about how your discussions affect your relationships with people. Rate each statement on a 4-point scale, recalling specific situations.
1. My interlocutor is not stubborn and looks at things broadly.
2. He respects me.
3. Discussing different points of view, we look at the depot in essence. Little things don't bother us.
4. My interlocutor understands that I strive for a good relationship.
5. He always appreciates my statements.
6. During a conversation, he feels when to listen and when to speak.
7. When discussing conflict situation I am reserved.
8. I feel when my message is interesting.
9. I enjoy spending time in conversation.
10. When we come to an agreement, we know very well what to do for each of us.
11. If necessary, my interlocutor is ready to continue the discussion.
12. I try to meet his requests.
13. I believe his promises,
14. We both try to please each other.
15. My interlocutor usually speaks to the point and without wasting words.
16. After discussing different points of view, I feel that it is useful to me.
17 In any situation, I avoid too harsh expressions.
18. I sincerely try to understand the interlocutor.
19. I can quite count on his sincerity.
20. I believe that a good relationship depends on both.
21. After an unpleasant conversation, we usually try to be attentive to each other and do not hold grudges.
By calculating the points, you get three results. Mutual support - the sum of points for lines 2, 5, 9, 12, 14, 18, 20.
Coherence in communication - No. 1, 4, 6, 8, 1.1, 15, 19. Conflict resolution-No. 3, 7, 10, 13, 16, 17, 21. 21 points and above are taken as the norm. If there is a shortage of mutual support, then it means that you should be more attentive to the interlocutor. Poor coordination in communication is a symptom of the fact that the communication itself took place in an unfavorable environment - haste, lack of reason for discussion, etc. Finally, if the difficulties are with resolving the conflict, then you need to actively look for ways to mutual understanding.
An integral characteristic is the ability, ability, and maybe magical talent to influence other people.
A person who knows how to convince and direct the thoughts of the people around him in the direction he needs has incredible opportunities in the modern world.
Let's consider the main ways how influence people during a conversation, that is psychological methods beliefs.
It is very undesirable to use your own powers, connections, money or blackmail; you can exert influence both by the power of your word and by the power of your gaze. So, the group of basic psychological methods includes persuasion, suggestion and psychological infection.
Persuasion is a way of influence when they turn to the consciousness of another person, his feelings and experience in order to form his new views and attitudes.
Persuasion will not work if it is replaced by moralizing. Words such as "must", "must" or "shame on you" should be avoided. Convincing with words is a great art that requires knowledge of human psychology, the laws of ethics and logic.
To begin with, it is necessary that your interlocutor agrees to listen carefully and meaningfully to your arguments, find that common thing that unites you and establish psychological contact.
Then it will be advisable to analyze all the arguments together and come to a common conclusion. Thus, the influence on a person will not be intrusive, but, on the contrary, will correspond to his thoughts, feelings and views.
If you manage to tune in to the wave of the person at the time of the conversation, you will see that half of the work has already been done, and influence people who think like you are much easier than people with opposite views.
Even if you do not fully share the beliefs of a person, try to feel his thoughts, and simply - to understand him. Understanding is the beginning of all partnerships. It is sometimes much easier to understand the interlocutor than it might seem at first glance.
A little training with your family and friends will help you develop the skill of understanding to perfection.
Suggestion is psychological way influence, which provides for a non-critical perception of the expressed thoughts and will. During suggestion, consent is not achieved, but acceptance of information is ensured, which already contains a ready-made conclusion.
Using this information, the person who is being influenced must come to the correct conclusion that you need. The goal is achieved due to the fact that strong emotional reactions... The main forms of suggestion are hint, approval, condemnation.
Psychological contamination
- transfer process emotional state from one person to another at an unconscious level. Often, this method is used in groups of people or teams.For example, correctly presented information about the success of one person infects the others with enthusiasm, arousing interest and enthusiasm, not envy.
In addition to the above basic methods, do not forget about simpler truths that must be remembered if desired. influence a person during communication.
Call your interlocutor by name more often, because there is nothing sweeter for his ears. Know how to listen and be sincerely interested in what they are telling you, this always disposes to a successful outcome of the dialogue.
And of course, smile more often, be an optimist! You will be surprised by the response of the world around you, which will obey your sincere influence.
The method of persuasion is fundamental in education. All other methods obey him. The leading role of persuasion is explained by the fact that with the help of this method the most important quality a person - his consciousness; most can be solved by persuasion educational tasks what cannot be achieved by other methods; only in combination with various methods of persuasion does any other method give the greatest educational effect. There are two types of this method: persuasion by word and persuasion by deed (education by example). ... The most common forms of persuasion by word are a report, a lecture, political information, conversation, etc. In these forms of mass work, such methods of persuasion are mainly used as explanation, presentation, proof, refutation. Their effectiveness depends on the content actual material, his objectivity, truthfulness, topicality. For persuasion purposes, one should not resort to dubious, unverified material, no matter how impressive it looks, and also avoid a truthful and clear answer to the questions posed (adolescents will stop believing in an insincere mentor). Verbal persuasion techniques should not turn into persuasion, edification, moralizing, which not only do not neutralize, but, on the contrary, strengthen adolescents' internal resistance to educational influence. Where can you start a conversation, how to lead it so that it becomes a way of persuasion, how can you end it? Here is a possible structure of the conversation: an example in which the problem lies, a question; search for answers to it, reasoning, resolution of individual sides of the problem; new examples confirming certain provisions; conclusions, often in the form of advice to adolescents, but without obsessive moralizing. Examples in a conversation can be not only positive, but also negative, it is only necessary that the negative example does not have a kind of attractive force, so that it does not cause the children to desire to imitate the bad. The exact formulation of the conclusions from the conversation, the requirements to which it leads, is also very important. The success of an ethical conversation largely depends on the environment in which it is conducted and which may or may not create a certain predisposition in children to perceive the content of the conversation. Persuasion by the word should be combined with persuasion by deed, that is, with persuasion on the example of educating other people, on personal experience adolescents. In an example, as a method of pedagogical influence, it is necessary to single out the content (who and what is an example, what is the value of this example, what are the qualities of a person, the example of which should be followed) to the emotional (attitudes of the person, for example, the motives of such an attitude; the influence of the example on emotions, behavior, etc.) .d.) sides. It should be noted that one of the most common mistakes in using the example in educational work it is the inability to foresee what effect this technique will have on the feelings of adolescents. Researchers note that young people most often choose life examples as follows: 1. The choice of an ideal is determined by a fascinating course of events, a vivid story, interesting book, an admirable movie. This path is typical for adolescents. younger age(7-9 years old). 2. The sample is close to choosing. He has, in the adolescent's opinion, the same character, but stronger, the same life aspirations, often does the same thing, lives in the same yard, goes to the same school. This path is typical for middle-aged and older adolescents (10-14 years old). 3. The ideal is endowed with features opposite to those of the given young man... So, those who do not succeed in school choose an erudite, weak-willed - strong-willed, modest - an activist, the soul of society. The majority of boys and girls (over 65%) do this. 4. The choice of the hero is based on affection, appreciation, love for the elder. A role model is characterized by a kind soul, warm attitude towards people, ease and tact of communication with them. This path is especially typical for some girls and girls. The help of a manager or a businessman in choosing an ideal can hardly be overestimated. You should systematically tell adolescents about outstanding people, recommend literature, offer to collect material about interesting person and talk about it in conversation with comrades. The degree of effectiveness of the example depends on the motivation, encouragement of the leader, the desire of the young worker to be like the best and public opinion a team that supports his aspiration. That is why it is necessary to create an intolerant attitude of the leader towards negative examples and build a positive attitude towards consciously imitating the best. When educating by example, the following rules should be taken into account: to reveal the motives and meaning of behavior to the young person, to show the connection between the motives of behavior outstanding person and his actions; learn to separate important inner side imitation from the outside, completely unnecessary, when the gait, hairstyle, idol's costume are copied; not only to talk about the hero, but also to teach the teenager to overcome difficulties like a hero, to actively participate in the life of the team, checking his behavior with possible behavior a hero in the same situation; teach not only to look at the world and your behavior through the eyes of the chosen one, but also to feel it. The leader can use an example in the form of a pedagogical connection - a paradox, an impact on the innermost memories and feelings of a teenager. Great value personal example educator, his attitude to work. Action education is The best way to inoculate respectful attitude to the chosen type of activity. Observing the beauty of the mentor's actions, the young worker first admires, then gets carried away and, finally, falls in love with the art that is born as a result of concentration of thought, self-discipline and skill. This is how the foundations of labor skills and interest are laid. Usually teenagers do not forget or forgive arrogance and unfair nagging. Therefore, it is very important for the leader to measure his actions with the norms of morality, to prevent any falsehood, especially insincerity in behavior, to always act thoughtfully and fairly. Thus, the educational impact of an example depends on its social and personal significance, novelty, brightness and emotionality, clarity and expressiveness, as well as on the extent to which the leader masters all the other methods of persuasion, to what extent conviction in his work is combined with conviction in deed. Important conditions the effectiveness of the persuasion method is the personal conviction of the mentor, his ability to take into account the mood of individual adolescents, the team and his own, age and individual characteristics adolescents. In the process of persuasion and especially persuasion, the leader needs tremendous support, patience, tact, the ability to listen to the adolescent's arguments, understand them and correctly refute them. It should be remembered that some adolescents specifically seek to challenge the teacher to an argument, to make him lose control of himself. Irritation and, moreover, rudeness are unacceptable - this is evidence not of strength, but of weakness. "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins"
