For most of us, the worst thing that can happen in love relationship Is treason. It destroys all the best and brightest, breaks something inside. Even though betrayal only concerns the spouses, it still has its destructive effect on all family members, including children, and can lead to a serious crisis or even the breakdown of the marriage.
Healing wounds after betrayal is difficult - and not always possible. It is better not to treat the disease, but to prevent it. Knowing in advance what type your man belongs to, and what circumstances may push him to adultery, you can protect yourself from the threat of betrayal on his part.
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Most widespread reasons male betrayal are:
Unsatisfiedsexyneed. He wants more than you can give him. This pushes the man into fleeting relationships with unfamiliar partners, however, without the desire to tie serious relationship on the side. Some women are able to forgive "an affair without consequences", consoled by the fact that he "always loved only her." Whether you are capable of such generosity is up to you.
Longpartingwithwife. No matter how strong your love is, if life circumstances or a career separate you, say, for six months, such a long separation gives fertile ground for adultery. It’s not just a shortage of intimate relationships, but also a lack of support, shoulder loved one nearby. By the way, women are prone to this type of betrayal almost more than men.
Underimpact"random"circumstances. An extra cocktail at a daring and cheeky party promises a "boring" continuation of the evening. And, if there is no wife nearby, another woman may be in her place. Take a closer look at your chosen one: does he like to drink too much, and whether he becomes more cheeky and prone to various "amusements" under the influence of alcohol.
Too muchstrongpersistenceyourrivals. The obvious motivation here is "just to fall behind", and the hidden one is the "confirmation" of male sexuality, unwillingness to sign in intimate powerlessness.
Treasonvqualityself-affirmation, as well as in order to diversify the sensations ... For many men, sexual victories are equated with victories in ordinary life, at work, among friends - in short, to increase your statuch. The pride of such men is amused by the number of bed victories.
LoveToanothera woman. This is the worst situation for a wife. Sex on the side, in this case, is as something self-evident, a detail in the complex mechanism of human relations.
Having figured out the reasons and situations pushing your loved ones to intrigue on the side, it is also worth deciding on the types of men prone to extramarital affairs. Indeed, even in the presence of all the "favorable" conditions, a man who is not inclined to betrayal will not succumb to the influence of the situation and impulses.
The behavior patterns of unfaithful men are, of course, individual. But in general they are due to mixing major typesmen potentially prone to cheating:
"Don- Juan "- This is an immature personality, obsessed with the desire to please. A man of this kind wants to be in an eternal state of love. And if he is your chosen one, then you should be ready for the appearance of many rivals. But they do not stay with him for a long time, as soon as he feels the seriousness of his mistress's attitude towards him, then he leaves. It is almost impossible to keep such men from extramarital affairs, the only chance is to help him develop into a harmonious, self-sufficient person who will not need such confirmation of her own strength. But without his desire, this, as you know, is meaningless. And typical "Don Juans", as a rule, do not have such a desire.
"Collector"- a mistress for him the opportunity to diversify his bed life. Decides on treason with fear. The way to keep such a man is to provide him with the desired variety. Role-playing bed games and dressing up will come to your aid.
"Conqueror"- the whole point of a relationship for him is to achieve a woman. He is prone to boasting, constantly demonstrates his advantages, endlessly uses the word "I". Your behavior strategy should be like this: "The elbow is near, but you won't bite." One can never become subdued by him. Even if you've been married for twenty years, stay close, but always inaccessible to the top.
"Foreverunhappy "- his doubts and uncertainties extend to his relationships with women. He is constantly in search of the "best", and is never sure that the woman next to him is the only one. If you need to keep such a man, then it is given to prove your uniqueness to him, as well as the fact that an alliance with you is the best that could happen to him. Think about whether you are ready to spend your energy and the time of your life on this - considering, moreover, that there are still no guarantees of success. Perhaps he just likes to be offended by life.
"Man- male", aka "Macho"... The status of "married" does not affect his lifestyle in any way. He, as before, is untethered having fun with friends, considering this to be normal. male life... Trying to block his access to such adventures, you will force him to go back to a single life. Only a reassessment of values can affect his behavior. It is quite possible. Talk to him seriously and then give him time. Usually "macho" is not a type for life, but only a stage of development normal man... Perhaps your loved one is already ready for a gradual change in values.
"ImpulsiveMan"... Behaves like a capricious child who wants to get what he immediately wanted. A very difficult type. His "want" defies logical explanation and system. Everything happens spontaneously, on demand. But he, like a child, easily switches from one object of interest to another. If you come across such a person, you can try to find this switch in him. Another question is whether you are ready to live your whole life with a capricious child.
"Vertextriangle "... Male manipulators who love to watch women fight for them. Such men want to be caught cheating, or directly report the presence of a mistress. The goal of their betrayal is not romance, not sex, and of course not love, but a clash of rivals for the war. Run from such a man, without reasoning, no matter how much joint property and common children you have, until he destroys your self-esteem and personality.
Start practicing yoga. Regular yoga practice can help you focus and reduce impulsivity. Exercises in which you are taught to greet the sun and do breathing exercises daily can help improve your concentration.
- The greatest benefit comes from doing yoga at every opportunity. For example, if you go to a store, do a few breathing exercises before you go inside. At home, if you have the urge to eat junk food, take a couple of seconds to reach for the sun.
Train daily. Physical exercises, especially aerobics, will help reduce your impulsivity. Exercise improves mood and minimizes the effects of stress and anxiety.
- Active sports can help you concentrate. If you are prone to impulsive actions from boredom or stress, then exercising will channel your energy in the right direction.
- Research shows that a 40-minute workout daily improves the physical state overweight children.
- Physical activity is good for people of all ages.
Learn more about how to develop awareness of your feelings. Understanding (awareness) of your own feelings and the ability to cope with emotions will help you better control your actions. Being aware of your feelings is also important because it gives you the opportunity to abstract from your own impulsiveness and make the right decision.
- When you have a desire, clearly articulate it in your mind and only then start to act. For example: "I am angry with my friend because of what she said, I want to criticize her." This should be followed by a more constructive response, such as “I can try to calm down.”
- Awareness means focusing on what is going on inside you. Before acting under the influence of emotions, that is, impulsively, it is important to comprehend and understand what happened, as well as to formulate meaningful in your mind. However, this may take some time.
Talk to people you trust. If anxiety is the cause of your impulsivity, then people you trust can help you. Knowing that you have reliable, understanding, and loving people in your life can reduce anxiety and help you cope with impulsivity.
- You can also seek professional help from a psychologist or coaching specialist and talk about the difficulties that excessive impulsivity gives you.
- Chatting with friends and hanging out with loved ones will also help to promote peace of mind and reduce anxiety, even if the problem is really serious.
Ask a friend to help you train yourself to be responsible. A friend can help you achieve your goals. Find a reliable and impartial friend and tell him about your goals. But first, decide what kind of support you need to achieve your goals.
- Perhaps you want to ask a friend to call you from time to time to ask about your progress. Or do you prefer to schedule regular meetings with him so that he can check if you are doing everything you can to achieve your goal.
- It's also worth making a plan for how your friend should act when you act impulsively.
- In return, you can offer your friend your help to solve his problems. This is how you become partners in mutual responsibility.
Realize how impulsivity affects your life. Impulsiveness can have both positive and negative sides... For example, if you hesitate for a long time and accept important decision in the most last minute then it could mean that you are trying to avoid stress while trying to make an informed decision.
- If you are trying to benefit from impulsivity, better find more effective ways receiving benefits.
- You can still behave spontaneously even if you become less impulsive. Stop reacting to everything impulsively does not mean that your life will be boring and monotonous. This means that you will now have more control over where your time, energy and money are spent.
In his life, every person meets people with different characters... Have you ever dealt with a person who impressed with his inconstancy? Such people, as a rule, tend to change their minds rather quickly, they are characterized by instant mood swings.
It would seem that he had just smiled and was in a great mood, when suddenly something affects his mood, and aggression and discontent appear. Also, these people amaze with their lightning-fast decisions. What explains this human behavior? In psychology, this is called impulsivity.
Impulsivity is a human trait that manifests itself in the tendency to make decisions without considering the consequences. Impulsive people are guided in their behavior not by reason, but by emotions and temporary circumstances.
More often than not, this behavior only entails Negative consequences... This is due to the incontinence, irascibility and harshness that are often manifested in such people. In other words, we can say that impulsive actions are actions performed without taking into account the consequences, without prior thought.
Impulsive individuals are distinguished by the fact that they first take actions, and then ponder the consequences. These people tend to be disappointed in the end, which can lead to remorse or to make the situation even more difficult.
Varieties
It is common for every person to sometimes show impulsiveness, but for some individuals this becomes the norm. Impulsive states have several varieties and may also indicate some psychological illnesses:
- Pyromania is the attraction to arson.
- Kleptomania is a craving for theft.
- Food impulsivity - manifests itself in various interactions with food.
- Gambling addiction is a predisposition to gambling.
This is just a part psychological states, when human mind cannot resist his desires. Impulsive decisions are often the result of poor self-control. Distinctive features such people are increased activity and explosive nature.
Impulsivity also differs in the situations in which it occurs:
- Motivated - in this case it is called stressful situations when even quite adequate people can show unexpected reactions to circumstances. This has happened to everyone, and this is not cause for concern.
- Unmotivated - when strange and unusual reactions to what is happening become the norm for this person. In this case, the abnormal behavior is not episodic and is repeated quite often, which leads to some psychological illness.
This condition is possible in both children and adults. However, psychologists do not define this as a diagnosis for children, since children are not always inclined to think over their decisions and take responsibility for them. But in adults, this is already a deviation from the accepted norms of behavior.
Sometimes adolescents cause such a state artificially, the reason for this is stubbornness and a desire to show independence. Impulsive states in adults are a psychological deviation only if they manifest themselves very often and the person himself is not capable of self-control.
Advantages and disadvantages
The impulsive state causes a negative attitude in many. This is due to the fact that people identify the word "impulsiveness" with concepts such as irritability, insecurity, hot temper. Of course, these properties can accompany impulsive manifestations, however given state has its own strengths:
2. Intuition. This state also develops intuition. Each of us would be glad to have an intuitive character or to have such a person around. Intuition is a very strong side of character that helps us in life.
3. Explicit emotionality. Impulsive states imply an open person. Such individuals do not hide their emotions. This can also be attributed to positive features. The better you understand emotional condition person, the easier the relationship with him is. An impulsive person will never show hidden intentions.
4. Truthfulness. Perhaps this is the most important positive point in an impulsive state. Impulsive people rarely lie. Lying is more common for those who have a calm and reasonable disposition. With increased emotionality, it is difficult to hide the truth. Any manifestation of deceit is highly undesirable for an impulsive person, since sooner or later emotions will take over and he will express everything.
The disadvantage of the impulsive state is that the individual's mood often changes, and you will never understand what controls him in this moment and what to expect in the next moment. And since each individual strives for order and constancy, then emotional person causes discomfort.
This also manifests itself in relationships: it is difficult to experience romantic feelings with such people - either he loves and adores you, then he is angry because of minor misunderstandings. Since it is impossible to predict the behavior of an impulsive person, it is very problematic to adapt to it.
However, communication with such a person also has its advantages. This is a very adventurous person, and you can be sure that you will always receive support in unexpected decisions. Also, the open emotionality of such a person can help you learn to grasp many factors that affect his mood, and use this for your own purposes in the future.
Impulsiveness cannot be good or bad. This is a state that has both positive sides and negative. An impulsive person should use their strengths and pay a lot of attention to working on their weaknesses. Author: Lyudmila Mukhacheva
Consider what is the relationship with the Impulsive type of men. Oscar Wilde once said: "I can resist everything, the cream of temptation." Some men who have connections with many women are just that - they always give up in the face of temptation.
Relationship with the type of men Impulsive
Basically, impulsive men are immature. However, for all this immaturity, some are more mature than others. “Semi-adults” can hold onto good jobs and are able to take responsibility for their careers. However, in other areas of life, they are like babies. Whenever they want something - be it a trinket or a woman - they have to get it. If a woman has captured their attention, they want her and, as a result, take her. It doesn't matter to them if she already has a relationship with someone else or if she is married. They don't even think about it. Determined at this moment, they simply move forward towards their goal. Life for impulsive men is a chain of opportunities and temptations. They live in a world of whims and momentary impressions. Since their attention easily dwells on something new, they are rarely faithful, their betrayal is quite predictable.
Relationship with the type of men Impulsive. Marcello Mastroianni, who has been in the same marriage since 1950, has had close relationships with many beautiful actresses and lived openly with Faye Dunaway and Catherine Deneuve. A well-known lover of both former actresses and current ones, he admits, speaking of his many connections: “What else could I do? I'm immature. I was born this way ... I am unable to control myself ... Sunday morning on the coast of Ostia, I see these lovely girls in bathing suits and I go crazy. "
The most infantile of impulsive men, because they are accustomed to acting quickly, without thinking about the consequences, may face difficulties or problems that would make the other person stop and think. As a result, they sometimes find themselves in ambiguous, awkward and awkward situations. For example, one woman told me that she met a man at work and they started friendly relations... As she explained, she spoke to him “because he looked sad. I asked him why he was unhappy. He replied that he had just parted with his mistress. "
He began to come to this woman's home - as if to discuss his problems, and soon they became lovers. He told her that he was married and separated from his wife, but gave her the woman's phone number in case anything was needed for the child. Soon she found on the answering machine calls from his wife, who insulted her in the harshest terms. My interlocutor discovered that he not only continued to meet with his former lover he was not even actually divorced from his wife. In contrast to men for whom such behavior would be insane, he gave his wife a phone number without thinking about possible consequences... V in this case this woman called his wife and they became allies against him.
Sometimes impulsiveness can result in cruelty, as in the following story with a woman and her lover.
They were catching a car on the street to take it home, when his gaze suddenly fell on attractive woman oriental type, sitting in a car parked on the opposite side of the street. Without thinking about anything and looking at this woman, he said: “Chinese woman. I've never had a Chinese woman. " At that moment a taxi stopped in front of them. The angry companion said: "Well, go to her." She got into the car and slammed the door. When the taxi started, she saw him running towards the woman in the car.
Immature impulsive men can be just as impulsive and irresponsible in other areas of their lives as they are with women. They may suddenly quit their job, once feeling frustrated with it, forgetting all the positives associated with the job, or the consequences of this step on their family or lifestyle. They can constantly have troubles of one kind or another, because they are not able to control themselves. They cannot score points or make long-term plans, they can move from one job to another instead of climbing up the career ladder. And because they cannot plan and be organized, they often lead a wandering life.
Men who have poor control over their impulses often use drugs and alcohol, and in this they limit themselves as little as in other areas of their lives.
They have no moral values, so they feel free to do whatever they want without feeling guilty. Moral values require abstract thinking from the momentary. An impulsive man is not capable of this.
Managers
Most impulsive men are like reckless children who jump from one event to the next. But there is one type that can truly be called the "manager." They know how to quickly take advantage of opportunities, calculate the features of the situation, determine what it can provide instant practical benefits. They instantly focus on what will work. In relation to a woman, this means that such a man can be absolutely sincere. He will lie to his wife, and the other woman will say: “I love you,” “You are beautiful,” “I think we have a future,” “I’m ready to leave my wife,” all that, in his opinion, is needed to put her to bed. He is not interested in the woman herself, but only in what he can do with her.
Actors
The latter type of impulsive men has a hysterical disposition. Life for them is an ongoing drama. They have lively and expressive emotions that reach a high intensity, and they are carried away from reality by their own own feelings... They get carried away easily. Men of this type fall in love passionately every two minutes and cannot remain faithful to any woman for long. They live with sublime love and lack the patience that allows them to calm down - the norm in any relationship. When this happens, they cease to exist as a person. If a hysterical man is married, he is unable to love his wife. He has known her for too long to be the object of his passion, feeding on novelty, excitement and drama, even though he may be dependent on a less emotional wife to provide a haven for his other storms.
Impulsiveness is a psychology character trait. Impulsiveness as a character trait lies in the fact that a woman always knows the answer to any question (even if it is wrong). Only on the way there are problems, the woman immediately goes into the category of counterattack and begins her "combat" actions. Although a sane person understands that this cannot be done and that more reasonable decisions must be applied, he cannot do anything with himself.
And how easy it is to draw conclusions in a hurry without thinking about the results of these conclusions. True, when the emotions subsided and the mind turned on. The woman understands her rash step. But it is very difficult to turn back the clock and correct the mistake. How to learn to deal with situations correctly, not to solve everything at once and with a hot head.
An impulsive woman is a lot like a small, unreasonable child. She is like an unintelligent child, following only her own emotions and fleeting impulses for action. In this case, more often than not, he is not aware of what he has done, neither in what he says, nor in what he does.
But still, there are positive features in impulsiveness:
resentment does not mean rancor and vindictiveness;
a bad mood lasts a very short time;
a decision is made in a matter of minutes;
all questions are always answered;
takes virtually all responsibility;
always active;
all problems that arise, clicks like "nuts".
These qualities are available to few. But, unfortunately, such high-speed car manners do not always lead to good. She gives a lot of trouble not so much to those around her as to herself. The consequences of deeds and words do not always go unpunished, because in most cases they are offensive and contrary to the general set of rules.
In order not to disturb the calmness of the environment. We need to learn how to slow down when cornering. Before. Rather than saying something or making some important decision, you need to count to 10 and back and only then open your beautiful mouth to express the next decision.
If a woman cannot stop herself, she will need the help of others. We need to come to an agreement with family and friends. So that they help control their emotions with certain conditioned signals. Which they will serve at that moment. When the woman starts to cut from the shoulder again. It can be different signs from the word "stop" to clapping your hands. By stopping, a woman will be able to evaluate her words and deeds.
Curbing your own impulsivity and emotionality is very difficult. The solution to this difficult task will not be immediately obtained. Close women and those around them, most likely, know about this character trait and try to treat her loyally to what was said and done. But unfamiliar people can be frightened of such inappropriate behavior, and this can simply put them into a stupor. An impulsive person must immediately communicate his character trait to those around him and unfamiliar people, so as not to harm himself. And learn to apologize for what he did during the fever.
And the most important thing is to remember that you can fix what you have done. Only need to find correct words... For example, you made a rash decision, the next day or after some time, you can refer to the rash decision and make another more reasonable one and weigh the pros and cons.
Constant work on yourself will lead to positive results.
