This book is unique in its kind and helps a person to reveal certain facets of their inner abilities. With the help of the material presented in this book, you will be able to learn, on the basis of the gestures of your interlocutor, to consciously record, designate and understand his internal mental characteristics.
Description
This book is unique in its kind and helps a person to reveal certain facets of their inner abilities. With the help of the material presented in this book, you will be able to learn, on the basis of the gestures of your interlocutor, to consciously record, designate and understand his internal mental characteristics, namely: his attitude to what is happening, his disposition to you, mood, etc. All this, in turn, will contribute to the fact that you can influence those with whom you communicate, shaping your speaking skills in accordance with new knowledge. The book is intended for both men and women, but it is especially recommended for men, because they're in lesser degree rather than women, they master the art of unconscious perception.
The book consists of eighteen interesting chapters, which contain very useful material. At the beginning of the book, the authors give general idea about body language, sensitivity, intuition and anticipation, various signals given by a person, basic communication gestures and their origins, as well as many other interesting things. Then we talk about congruence, zones and territories. different people and groups of people, transmitted information, hand gestures and their meaning, protective barriers, positions of body parts, eye signals and different views etc.
The second half of the book tells about the gestures and signals characteristic of the courtship process, the meaning of cigarettes, cigars, pipes and other accessories in human communication and associated gestures, as well as gestures of proprietary and territorial claims. And the last chapters are devoted to such issues as, influence on others with the help of certain postures; open positions, ways of expressing attitude towards people, specifics of negotiating and important meetings; types of movement and placement during communication, positions of business interaction, organizing meetings and treats, arranging furniture, etc. At the end of the book, there is a generalization of the significance of all of the above in everyday life.
about the author
Allan PIZ is an internationally recognized specialist in the field of body language and non-verbal communication. On his account huge quantities audio and video materials, books and speeches. He is also engaged in consulting activities and works with businessmen, politicians, representatives of the royal nobility and show business.
Piz Barbara is director general Pease, a publisher of videos, training courses and programs for businessmen, politicians and other dignitaries from around the world. In addition, Barbara Pease assists Allan in writing some of his books.
Allan Pease's "Body Language" has been a worldwide bestseller for two decades. Its total circulation has already reached about a hundred million copies, it has been translated into 36 languages.
A person's feelings and thoughts can be easily deciphered by his posture, facial expressions and gestures, and this greatly facilitates the task of choosing the correct line of behavior in a friendly and business communication and making important decisions.
The "new" language will open up new horizons of perception of people for you, will help you to feel confident and at ease in any unfamiliar environment, because you will always know what your interlocutors really think and feel. Learn body language and you will certainly succeed in everything!
Allan Pease
Body language. How to read the thoughts of others by their gestures
Chapter I
Understanding body language
By the end of the 20th century, there appeared new type scientist-sociologist specialist in the field of non-verbal. As an ornithologist enjoys observing the behavior of birds, the non-verbalist enjoys observing non-verbal signs and signals when people communicate. He observes them at formal receptions, on the beach, on television, at work - wherever people interact. He studies the behavior of people, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to thereby learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost incredible that over more than a million years of human evolution, the non-verbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only from the early sixties, and the public became aware of their existence only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research done by behavioral scientists prior to 1970 on the non-verbal aspects of communication, but even today most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.
Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the pioneers of non-verbal communication, for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad, judging by how he could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When they became popular sound films and already less attention was paid to non-verbal aspects acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with pronounced verbal abilities began to prevail on the screen.
With regard to the technical side of the study of the problem of bodybuilding; perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's Expression of Emotions in Humans and Animals, published in 1872. modern research in the field of "body language", and many of Darwin's ideas and his observations are recognized today by researchers around the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded over 1000 non-verbal signs and signals.
Albert Meyerabian found that the transmission of information occurs through verbal means (words only) by 7%, due to sound means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and due to non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissl has done similar research on the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person speaks in words only for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence is on average no more than 2.5 seconds. Like Meyerabian, he found that verbal communication in conversation takes up less than 35%, and more than 65% of information is transmitted using non-verbal means of communication.
Most researchers share the opinion that the verbal (verbal) channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used for "discussion" interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can give a man a murderous look, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him, without even opening her mouth.
Regardless of the cultural level of the person, the words and their accompanying movements coincide with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissl even claims that a well-trained person can tell by voice what movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase. Conversely, Birdwissl learned to determine which voice a person speaks by observing his gestures at the time of speech.
Many people find it difficult to admit that a person is still a biological being. Homo sapiens is a type of large, uncoated monkey that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we obey biological laws that control our actions, reactions, "body language" and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements may contradict what his voice communicates.
Sensitivity, Intuition and Premonitions
When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read the non-verbal signals of another person and compare these signals with the verbal signals. In other words, when we say that we have a premonition, or that our "sixth sense" tells us that someone was not telling the truth, we really mean that we noticed a disagreement between the body language and the words spoken by that person. Lecturers refer to this as audience feeling. For example, if listeners sit deep in chairs with their chins bowed and their arms folded across their chests, the receptive person will have a premonition that their message is not going to be successful. He will understand that something needs to be changed in order to interest the audience. A unresponsive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to it and will aggravate his mistake.
Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to record the smallest details. Therefore, few husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out the secret of a man by his eyes, which he does not even suspect.
This female intuition is especially well developed in women raising young children.
For the first few years, the mother relies only on non-verbal communication with her child, and it is believed that, due to her intuition, women are more suitable for negotiating than men.
Congenital, Genetic, Acquired and Culturally Specified Signals.
While much research has been done, there is heated debate over whether non-verbal cues are innate or acquired, transmitted genetically, or acquired in some other way. The evidence came from observations of blind, deaf, and deaf and dumb people who could not learn non-verbal through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made on the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives, monkeys and macaques, was studied.
The findings of these studies indicate that gestures lend themselves to classification. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, indicating that this ability is either innate or genetic.
Understanding body language
By the end of the 20th century, a new type of non-verbal sociologist appeared. Just as the birdwatcher enjoys observing the behavior of birds, the non-verbalist enjoys observing non-verbal signs and signals when people communicate. He observes them at formal receptions, on the beach, on television, at work - wherever people interact. He studies the behavior of people, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to thereby learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost incredible that over more than a million years of human evolution, the non-verbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only in the early sixties, and the public became aware of their existence only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research done by behavioral scientists prior to 1970 on the non-verbal aspects of communication, but even today most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.
Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the pioneers of non-verbal communication, for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad, judging by how he could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When sound films became popular and less attention was paid to the non-verbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with pronounced verbal abilities began to dominate the screen.
With regard to the technical side of the study of the problem of bodybuilding; perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's The Expression of Emotions in Humans and Animals, published in 1872, It stimulated modern research in the field of “body language,” and many of Darwin's ideas and observations are now recognized by researchers all over the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded over 1000 non-verbal signs and signals.
Albert Meyerabian found that the transmission of information occurs through verbal means (words only) by 7%, through sound means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and through non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissl has done similar research on the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person speaks in words only for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence is on average no more than 2.5 seconds. Like Meyerabian, he found that verbal communication in conversation takes up less than 35%, and more than 65% of information is transmitted using non-verbal communication means.
Most researchers share the opinion that the verbal (verbal) channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used to "discuss" interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can give a man a murderous look, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him, without even opening her mouth.
Regardless of the cultural level of the person, the words and their accompanying movements coincide with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissl even claims that a well-trained person can tell by voice what movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase. Conversely, Birdwissl learned to determine which voice a person speaks by observing his gestures at the time of speech.
Many people find it difficult to admit that a person is still a biological being. Homo sapiens is a type of large, furless monkey that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we obey biological laws that control our actions, reactions, "body language" and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements may contradict what his voice communicates.
Sensitivity, Intuition and Premonitions
When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read the non-verbal signals of another person and compare these signals with the verbal signals. In other words, when we say that we have a premonition, or that our “sixth sense” tells us that someone was not telling the truth, we really mean that we noticed a discrepancy between the body language and the words spoken by that person. Lecturers refer to this as audience feeling. For example, if listeners sit deep in chairs with their chins bowed and their arms folded across their chests, the receptive person will have a premonition that their message is not going to be successful. He will understand that something needs to be changed in order to interest the audience. And an unresponsive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and will aggravate his mistake.
Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to record the smallest details. Therefore, few husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out the secret of a man by his eyes, which he does not even suspect.
This female intuition is especially well developed in women raising young children.
For the first few years, the mother relies only on non-verbal communication with her child, and it is believed that, due to her intuition, women are more suitable for negotiating than men.
Congenital, Genetic, Acquired and Culturally Specified Signals.
While much research has been done, there is heated debate over whether non-verbal cues are innate or acquired, transmitted genetically, or acquired in some other way. The evidence came from observations of blind, deaf, and deaf and dumb people who could not learn non-verbal through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made on the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives, monkeys and macaques, was studied.
The findings of these studies indicate that gestures lend themselves to classification. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, indicating that this ability is either innate or genetic.
The German scientist Aibl - Eibesfeldt established that the ability to smile in deaf or blind children from birth is manifested without any training or copying, which confirms the hypothesis of innate gestures. Ekman, Friesen, and Zorenzan confirmed some of Darwin's conjectures about innate gestures when they studied facial expressions in people from five deeply different cultures. They found that representatives different cultures used the same facial expressions for certain emotions, which allowed them to conclude that these gestures must be innate.
When you cross your arms across your chest, do you cross right hand over left or left over right? Most people cannot reliably answer this question until they have done it. In one case, they will feel comfortable, in the other case, they will not. From this we can conclude that this is possibly a genetic gesture that cannot be changed.
There is also controversy over whether some of the gestures are acquired and culturally determined or genetic. For example, most men put on their coat starting from the right sleeve, while most women start putting on their coat from the left sleeve. When a man lets a woman pass on a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards the woman as he passes; the woman usually passes away, turning away from him. Does she do it instinctively to protect her breasts? Is this a congenital gesture of a woman, or did she unknowingly learn it by observing other women?
Most of the gestures of non-verbal behavior are acquired, and the meaning of many of the movements and gestures is culturally determined. Consider these aspects of body language.
Basic Communication Gestures and Their Origins
All over the world, basic communication gestures do not differ from each other. When people are happy, they smile; when they are sad, they frown; when they are angry, they have an angry look.
Understanding body language
By the end of the 20th century, a new type of non-verbal sociologist appeared. Just as the birdwatcher enjoys observing the behavior of birds, the non-verbalist enjoys observing non-verbal signs and signals when people communicate. He observes them at formal receptions, on the beach, on television, at work - wherever people interact. He studies the behavior of people, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to thereby learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost incredible that over more than a million years of human evolution, the non-verbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only in the early sixties, and the public became aware of their existence only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research done by behavioral scientists prior to 1970 on the non-verbal aspects of communication, but even today most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.
Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the pioneers of non-verbal communication, for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad, judging by how he could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When sound films became popular and less attention was paid to the non-verbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with pronounced verbal abilities began to dominate the screen.
With regard to the technical side of the study of the problem of bodybuilding; perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's The Expression of Emotions in Humans and Animals, published in 1872, It stimulated modern research in the field of “body language,” and many of Darwin's ideas and observations are now recognized by researchers all over the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded over 1000 non-verbal signs and signals.
Albert Meyerabian found that the transmission of information occurs through verbal means (words only) by 7%, through sound means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and through non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissl has done similar research on the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person speaks in words only for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence is on average no more than 2.5 seconds. Like Meyerabian, he found that verbal communication in conversation takes up less than 35%, and more than 65% of information is transmitted using non-verbal communication means.
Most researchers share the opinion that the verbal (verbal) channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used to "discuss" interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can give a man a murderous look, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him, without even opening her mouth.
Regardless of the cultural level of the person, the words and their accompanying movements coincide with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissl even claims that a well-trained person can tell by voice what movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase. Conversely, Birdwissl learned to determine which voice a person speaks by observing his gestures at the time of speech.
Many people find it difficult to admit that a person is still a biological being. Homo sapiens is a type of large, furless monkey that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we obey biological laws that control our actions, reactions, "body language" and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements may contradict what his voice communicates.
Sensitivity, Intuition and Premonitions
When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read the non-verbal signals of another person and compare these signals with the verbal signals. In other words, when we say that we have a premonition, or that our “sixth sense” tells us that someone was not telling the truth, we really mean that we noticed a discrepancy between the body language and the words spoken by that person. Lecturers refer to this as audience feeling. For example, if listeners sit deep in chairs with their chins bowed and their arms folded across their chests, the receptive person will have a premonition that their message is not going to be successful. He will understand that something needs to be changed in order to interest the audience. And an unresponsive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and will aggravate his mistake.
Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to record the smallest details. Therefore, few husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out the secret of a man by his eyes, which he does not even suspect.
This female intuition is especially well developed in women raising young children.
For the first few years, the mother relies only on non-verbal communication with her child, and it is believed that, due to her intuition, women are more suitable for negotiating than men.
Congenital, Genetic, Acquired and Culturally Specified Signals.
While much research has been done, there is heated debate over whether non-verbal cues are innate or acquired, transmitted genetically, or acquired in some other way. The evidence came from observations of blind, deaf, and deaf and dumb people who could not learn non-verbal through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made on the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives, monkeys and macaques, was studied.
The findings of these studies indicate that gestures lend themselves to classification. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, indicating that this ability is either innate or genetic.
The German scientist Aibl - Eibesfeldt established that the ability to smile in deaf or blind children from birth is manifested without any training or copying, which confirms the hypothesis of innate gestures. Ekman, Friesen, and Zorenzan confirmed some of Darwin's conjectures about innate gestures when they studied facial expressions in people from five deeply different cultures. They found that people from different cultures used the same facial expressions when expressing certain emotions, which led them to conclude that these gestures must be innate.
When you cross your arms over your chest, are you crossing your right arm over your left or your left over your right? Most people cannot reliably answer this question until they have done it. In one case, they will feel comfortable, in the other case, they will not. From this we can conclude that this is possibly a genetic gesture that cannot be changed.
There is also controversy over whether some of the gestures are acquired and culturally determined or genetic. For example, most men put on their coat starting from the right sleeve, while most women start putting on their coat from the left sleeve. When a man lets a woman pass on a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards the woman as he passes; the woman usually passes away, turning away from him. Does she do it instinctively to protect her breasts? Is this a congenital gesture of a woman, or did she unknowingly learn it by observing other women?
Most of the gestures of non-verbal behavior are acquired, and the meaning of many of the movements and gestures is culturally determined. Consider these aspects of body language.
Basic Communication Gestures and Their Origins
All over the world, basic communication gestures do not differ from each other. When people are happy, they smile; when they are sad, they frown; when they are angry, they have an angry look.
Head nodding almost everywhere in the world means yes or affirmation. It appears to be an innate gesture as it is also used by deaf and blind people. Shaking your head to indicate denial or disagreement is also universal, and may be one of the gestures invented during childhood. When the baby is pumping milk, he, refusing from the mother's breast, makes a movement of his head from side to side. When Small child is full, he twists his head from side to side to dodge the spoon that his parents are feeding him. Thus, very quickly he learns to use head shaking to express his disagreement and negative attitude.
The origin of some gestures can be traced to the example of our primitive communal past. Bared teeth survived from the act of attacking the enemy and is still used today. modern man when he grins viciously or shows his hostility in some other way. The smile was originally a symbol of threat, but today, when combined with friendly gestures, it denotes pleasure or benevolence.
Shrug gesture is an good example a universal gesture that means that a person does not know or does not understand what it is about. This is a complex gesture consisting of three components: extended palms, raised shoulders, raised eyebrows.
How verbal languages differ from each other depending on the type of culture, so the non-verbal language of one nation differs from the non-verbal language of another nation. While a certain gesture may be generally recognized and have a clear interpretation in one nation, in another nation it may not have any designation, or have a completely opposite meaning. For example, consider the difference in interpretation by different nations of three typical gestures, such as a ring of fingers raised up thumb and a V-shaped finger gesture.
Gesture "OK" or a circle formed by the fingers of the hand. This gesture was popularized in America in the early 19th century, mainly by the press, which at that time began a campaign to reduce words and common phrases to their initial letters... Opinions vary as to what the initials "OK" stand for. Some people think that they meant "all correct" - everything is correct, but then, as a result of a spelling error, they turned into "Oll - Korrect". Others say it's the opposite of knockout, which in English is represented by the letters K.O. There is another theory that this is an acronym for "all Kinderhoor", the birthplace of the American president who used these initials (O.K.) as a campaign slogan. Which theory of these is correct, we will never know, but it seems that the circle itself denotes the letter "O" in the word 0 "keu. The meaning of" OK "is well known in all English-speaking countries, as well as in Europe and Asia, in In some countries this gesture has a completely different origin and meaning, for example in France it means "zero" or "nothing", in Japan it means "money", and in some countries of the Mediterranean basin this gesture is used to denote a man's homosexuality.
Therefore, traveling through different countries, one should obey the rule “They don’t go to someone else’s monastery with their own charter.” This will help you avoid possible embarrassing situations.
Thumb Raised Up. In America, England, Australia and New Zealand, the thumb up has 3 meanings. Usually it is used when "voting" on the road, in attempts to catch a passing car. The second meaning is "everything is in order", and when the thumb is thrown up sharply, it becomes an offensive sign, meaning swearing or "sit on it." In some countries, for example, Greece, this gesture means "shut up", so you can imagine the position of an American trying to catch a passing car on a Greek road with this gesture !. When Italians count from one to five, this gesture denotes the number "I" and the index finger then denotes "2". When the Americans and the British count, the index finger means "I", and middle finger"2"; in such a case, the thumb represents the number "5".
Thumb up is used in combination with other gestures as a symbol of power and superiority, and in situations where someone wants to crush you with a finger. Below we will take a closer look at the use of this gesture in such a specific context.
V - Sign with Fingers. This sign is very popular in the UK and Australia and has an offensive interpretation. During World War II, Winston Churchill popularized the "V" sign to denote victory, but for this sign, the hand is turned with the back towards the speaker. If, with this gesture, the hand is turned with the palm towards the speaker, then the gesture acquires an insulting meaning - "shut up." In most European countries, however, the V gesture means "victory" anyway, so if an Englishman wants to use this gesture to tell a European to shut up, he will be puzzled what kind of victory the Englishman had in mind. In many countries, this gesture also means the number "2".
These examples show what kind of misunderstandings can be caused by incorrect interpretations of gestures that do not take into account the national characteristics of the speaker. Therefore, before drawing any conclusions about the meaning of gestures and body language, it is necessary to take into account the nationality of the person.
Set of Gestures
One of the most serious mistakes beginners can make when learning body language is trying to isolate one gesture and view it in isolation from other gestures and circumstances. For example, scratching the back of your head can mean a thousand things - dandruff, fleas, sweating, insecurity, forgetfulness, or speaking a lie - depending on what other gestures accompany this scratching, so for a correct interpretation, we must take into account the entire complex of accompanying gestures.
Like any language, body language is made up of words, sentences, and punctuation. Each gesture is like one word, and a word can have several different meanings... You can fully understand the meaning of this word only when you insert this word into a sentence along with other words. Gestures come in the form of "sentences" and accurately indicate the actual state, mood and attitude of a person. An observant person can read these non-verbal sentences and compare them with the speaker's verbal sentences.
rice. 4 shows a collection of gestures indicating a critical attitude. The main thing here is the gesture "propping up the cheek forefinger”While the other finger covers the mouth and the thumb rests under the chin. The next confirmation that the listener is critical of you is that his legs are firmly crossed, and the other hand lies across the body, as if protecting him, and his head and chin are tilted (hostile). This non-verbal sentence tells you something like, "I don't like what you are saying, and I disagree with you."
Congruence - Matching Words and Gestures
If you were the interlocutor of the person shown in fig. 4, and asked him to express his opinion on what you just said, to which he would answer that he does not agree with you, then his non-verbal signals would be congruent, i.e. would correspond to his verbal statements. If he says that he really likes everything you say, he will lie, because his words and gestures will not be congruent. Research proves that non-verbal signals carry 5 times more information than verbal ones, and if the signals are not congruent, people rely on non-verbal information, preferring verbal information.
You can often see a politician standing on the podium with his arms crossed tightly across his chest (defensive posture) with a lowered chin (critical or hostile posture), and speaks to the audience about how receptive and friendly he is to the ideas of young people. He may try to convince the audience of his warm, humane attitude by striking the podium quickly, sharply. Sigmund Freud once noticed that when a patient verbally convinced him that she was happily married, she unconsciously took off her finger and put on wedding ring... Freud understood the meaning of this involuntary gesture and was not surprised when the family problems this patient.
The key to correctly interpreting gestures is considering the totality of gestures and the congruence of verbal and non-verbal cues.
Meaning of Context for Interpreting Gestures
In addition to taking into account the totality of gestures and the correspondence between words and body movements, for the correct interpretation of gestures, it is necessary to take into account the context in which these gestures live. If, for example, on a cold winter day you see a man sitting at a bus stop with his legs crossed, his arms tightly crossed on his chest and his head down, then this most likely means that he is cold, and not at all his critical attitude to something. or. However, if a person in exactly the same position is sitting opposite you at the negotiating table to conclude a deal, then his gestures should definitely be interpreted as having a negative or defensive attitude in the current situation.
In this book, all gestures will be considered in relation to the surrounding situation, and, if possible, the totality of gestures will be considered in context.
Other Factors Influencing the Interpretation of Gestures
If a person has a weak handshake, then we can conclude that his character is weak, and in the chapter on the features of the handshake, we will explore the reasons explaining this statement. But if a person has arthritis in the joints of the hand, then he will use a weak handshake to protect the hand from pain. Therefore, artists, musicians, surgeons and people of other delicate professions where sensitive fingers are required usually prefer not to shake hands, but if they are forced to do so, they use a gentle handshake.
Sometimes people who wear ill-fitting or tight clothes are constrained in their movements, and this affects the expressiveness of their body language. These are rare enough cases, but it's important to keep them in mind in order to understand the psychological impact such things have on body language.
Position in Society and Wealth of Gesture
Scientific research in the field of linguistics has shown that there is a direct relationship between social status, the power and prestige of a person and his vocabulary. In other words, the higher the social or professional position person, the better his ability to communicate at the level of words and phrases. Research in the field of non-verbal communication has identified a relationship between a person's eloquence and the degree of gesture a person uses to convey the meaning of their messages. This means that there is a direct relationship between a person's social status, his prestige and the number of gestures and body movements that he uses. A person at the top of the social ladder or professional career can use the wealth of his vocabulary in the process of communication, while less educated or less professional person will rely more on gestures rather than words to communicate.
Most of the examples in this book describe the behavior of middle-class people, but general rule lies in the fact that the higher the socio-economic position of a person, the less developed his gestures and poorer body movements.
The speed of some gestures and their obviousness to the eye depends on the person's age. For example, if a 5-year-old child tells a lie to his parents, then immediately after that he will cover his mouth with one or both hands (Fig. 5). This gesture “covering his mouth with his hand” will tell the parents that the child has lied, but throughout his life a person uses this gesture when he is lying, usually only the speed of this gesture changes. When a teen is lying, a hand covers the mouth in much the same way as a five-year-old, except that the fingers trace slightly around the lip line (Figure 6).
This hand-to-mouth gesture becomes more sophisticated in adulthood. When an adult lies, his brain sends him an impulse to cover his mouth, in an attempt to delay the words of deception, as is done a five year old child or as a teenager, but at the last moment the hand evades the mouth and another gesture is born - touching the nose (Fig. 7). Such a gesture is nothing more than an improved adult version of the same gesture of covering the mouth with a hand that was present in childhood. This is an example of the fact that with age, people's gestures become less catchy and more veiled, so it is always more difficult to count the information of a 50-year-old person than a young person.
Ability to Forge Body Language
The most common question is “Is it possible to counterfeit own language o body? " The usual answer to this question is no, because you will be betrayed by the lack of congruence between gestures, body micro-signals and spoken words. For example, open palms are associated with honesty, but when a deceiver opens his arms to you and smiles at you while telling a lie, the microsignals of his body will give out his secret thoughts. It can be constricted pupils, a raised eyebrow, or a curvature of the corner of the mouth, and all of these signals will contradict an open hug and a wide smile. As a result, the recipient tends to disbelieve what he hears. It seems as if in human brain there is a safety device that “rolls over” every time it registers non-congruent non-verbal signals. There are, however, cases where body language is specifically taught to achieve a favorable impression. Take the Miss America or Miss Universe beauty pageants, for example, where each contestant is trained in body movements that radiate warmth and sincerity. Than with great skill the participant of the competition can transmit these signals, the more points she will receive from the judges. But even experienced professionals can imitate necessary movements only for a short period of time, because soon the body will involuntarily transmit signals that contradict its conscious actions. Many politicians are skilled at copying body language * and use this to win over their constituencies and make them believe their speeches. Those politicians who successfully do this are said to have a "gift from God." Face more often than any other part human body used to hide false statements. We smile, nod our heads and wink in an attempt to hide the lie, but, unfortunately for us, our body speaks the true truth with its signs, and there is a discrepancy between the signals read from the face and from the body, and the words. Studying facial expressions is an art in itself.
This book pays little attention to this and more. detailed information is given in Face Language by Robert L. Whiteside and Reading Faces by Leopold Bellan and Sam Sinpoliir Baker.
In closing, it’s hard to imitate and fake body language over a long period of time, but it’s helpful to learn how to use positive, open gestures to communicate successfully with others and to get rid of negative, negative gestures. ”This will make you feel yourself is more comfortable in the company of people and will make you more attractive to them.
How to Tell the Truth Without Revealing Yourself
The problem with lying is that our subconscious mind works automatically and independently of us, so our body language betrays us headlong. This is why it is immediately noticeable when people lie, rarely telling lies, no matter how convincing they present it. The very moment they start lying, their body starts giving completely opposite signals, which gives you the feeling that you are being lied to. During a deception, our subconscious mind throws out a bundle of nervous energy, which manifests itself in gestures that contradict what the person said. Some? 1people whose professions are directly related to cheating in different forms, such as politicians, lawyers, actors and television commentators, have trained their body movements to such an extent that it is difficult for them to notice that they are not telling the truth, and people fall for their bait, trust them.
They train their gestures in two ways. First, they work out those gestures that make what is said, but this is possible only if you practice lying for a long period of time. Secondly, they almost completely eliminate gestures from themselves, so that neither positive nor negative gestures are present at the moment when they lie, but this is also very difficult to do.
Try this simple experiment on occasion. Deliberately tell a lie to your friend and make a deliberate attempt to suppress any body movements, and you are in full view of your interlocutor. Even if you deliberately suppress bright, catchy gestures, many tiny micro-signals will be transmitted by your body. It can be either curvature of the facial muscles, dilation or narrowing of the pupils, perspiration on the forehead, blush on the cheeks, rapid blinking and many other small gestures that signal deception. Research using slow motion shoots has shown that these micro-gestures appear for only a fraction of a second and can only be noticed by people like professional interviewers during a conversation. experienced businessmen during negotiations, and those people who, as we say, have developed intuition. The best interviewers and salespeople are people who have developed the ability to read the meaning of their partner's micro-gestures during intimate, face-to-face contact.
It is quite obvious that in order not to give yourself away at the moment of uttering a lie, you need to make sure that there is no full review your pose. This is why, during police interrogation, the suspect is placed on a chair in a clearly visible or well-lit area of the room so that the interrogator can see him and it would be easier to detect when he is telling a lie. Naturally, your lie will be less noticeable if at this moment you sit at the table and your body will be partially hidden, or stand behind a fence or closed door... The easiest way to lie is on the phone!
How to Learn to Speak Body Language
Set yourself the goal of at least fifteen minutes a day studying and interpreting other people's gestures and analyzing your own gestures. An experimental space can be any place where people meet and interact. In particular, the airport is an excellent place for observing the entire spectrum of human gestures, because here people express a whole range of emotions through gestures: longing desire, anger, horror, grief, happiness, impatience and much more. Formal receptions are also an excellent observation point. business meetings and evenings, parties. Once you've learned the art of body language, you can head out into the evening, sit quietly in a corner all evening, and have great pleasure in observing body language ritual in society. Television also provides an exciting opportunity for learning about non-verbal communication. Turn off the sound and try to guess what is happening on the screen only from the image. By turning on the sound every 5 minutes, you can check the correctness of your understanding of the non-verbal, and soon you will be able to watch the entire program without sound and understand everything that happens on the screen, like deaf people do.
Zones and territories
Many books and articles have been written on the topic of how animals, birds and fish establish and protect their habitat, but only recently it was discovered that humans also have their own protected zones and territories. If we study them and understand their meaning, we will not only enrich our ideas about our own behavior and the behavior of other people, but we will also be able to predict the reaction of another person in the process of direct communication with eye to eye.
American anthropologist Edward T. Hall was one of the pioneers in the study of human spatial needs, and in the early sixties he coined the term "proximics" (from the word proximity). His research in this area led to a new understanding of our relationship with other human beings.
Allan Pease's "Body Language" has been a worldwide bestseller for two decades. Its total circulation has already reached about a hundred million copies, it has been translated into 36 languages.
Feelings and thoughts of a person are easy to guess by his posture, facial expressions and gestures, and this greatly facilitates the task of choosing the right line of behavior in friendly and business communication and making important decisions.
The "new" language will open up new horizons of perception of people for you, will help you to feel confident and at ease in any unfamiliar environment, because you will always know what your interlocutors really think and feel. Learn body language and you will certainly succeed in everything!
Allan Pease
Body language. How to read the thoughts of others by their gestures
Chapter I
Understanding body language
By the end of the 20th century, a new type of non-verbal sociologist appeared. Just as the birdwatcher enjoys observing the behavior of birds, the non-verbalist enjoys observing non-verbal signs and signals when people communicate. He observes them at formal receptions, on the beach, on television, at work - wherever people interact. He studies the behavior of people, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to thereby learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost incredible that over more than a million years of human evolution, the non-verbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only in the early sixties, and the public became aware of their existence only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research done by behavioral scientists prior to 1970 on the non-verbal aspects of communication, but even today most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.
Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the pioneers of non-verbal communication, for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad, judging by how he could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When sound films became popular and less attention was paid to the non-verbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with pronounced verbal abilities began to dominate the screen.
With regard to the technical side of the study of the problem of bodybuilding; perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's The Expression of Emotions in Humans and Animals, published in 1872, It stimulated modern research in the field of "body language", and many of Darwin's ideas and observations are now recognized by researchers all over the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded over 1000 non-verbal signs and signals.
Albert Meyerabian found that the transmission of information occurs through verbal means (words only) by 7%, through sound means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and through non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissl has done similar research on the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person speaks in words only for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence is on average no more than 2.5 seconds. Like Meyerabian, he found that verbal communication in conversation takes up less than 35%, and more than 65% of information is transmitted using non-verbal communication means.
Most researchers share the opinion that the verbal (verbal) channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used to "discuss" interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can give a man a murderous look, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him, without even opening her mouth.
Regardless of the cultural level of the person, the words and their accompanying movements coincide with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissl even claims that a well-trained person can tell by voice what movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase. Conversely, Birdwissl learned to determine which voice a person speaks by observing his gestures at the time of speech.
Many people find it difficult to admit that a person is still a biological being. Homo sapiens is a type of large, furless monkey that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we obey biological laws that control our actions, reactions, "body language" and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements may contradict what his voice communicates.
Sensitivity, Intuition and Premonitions
When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read the non-verbal signals of another person and compare these signals with the verbal signals. In other words, when we say that we have a premonition, or that our "sixth sense" tells us that someone was not telling the truth, we really mean that we noticed a disagreement between the body language and the words spoken by that person. Lecturers refer to this as audience feeling. For example, if listeners sit deep in chairs with their chins bowed and their arms folded across their chests, the receptive person will have a premonition that their message is not going to be successful. He will understand that something needs to be changed in order to interest the audience. And an unresponsive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and will aggravate his mistake.
Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to record the smallest details. Therefore, few husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out the secret of a man by his eyes, which he does not even suspect.
This female intuition is especially well developed in women raising young children.
For the first few years, the mother relies only on non-verbal communication with her child, and it is believed that, due to her intuition, women are more suitable for negotiating than men.
Congenital, Genetic, Acquired and Culturally Specified Signals.
While much research has been done, there is heated debate over whether non-verbal cues are innate or acquired, transmitted genetically, or acquired in some other way. The evidence came from observations of blind, deaf, and deaf and dumb people who could not learn non-verbal through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made on the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives, monkeys and macaques, was studied.
The findings of these studies indicate that gestures lend themselves to classification. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, indicating that this ability is either innate or genetic.
