You can visit the cemetery, and you can clean the graves all year round... But there is a short time period associated with the main Christian holiday of Easter, when it is better not to do this. In this world, it is customary to clean up the cemetery before the holiday of the Resurrection of Christ. It is only important to know exactly when. It is good if there is an opportunity to postpone everything and put it away on specially designated days during the fast.
When is it better to clean up the cemetery: what days is it better to refrain from visiting the cemetery
First of all, Palm week is suitable for cleaning graves. It's 6 days before Palm Sunday... But after that, Holy Week follows, when it is not advisable to do anything like that. Church canons prohibiting during this period to visit the repose cannot be absent, but the priests insist on this.
It is believed that Holy Week should be spent in other chores - preparing for the holiday. It is important to have time to clean the house before Maundy Thursday, and on Thursday to wash the windows and doors. It is very good to wash yourself on this very Thursday. Purchase the necessary for cooking festive dishes food and cook everything.
On Friday, do nothing at all, either in the house or in the kitchen. It is forbidden to bake cakes on this day. You need to pray and go to evening service... It was on Friday that Jesus was crucified, therefore it is considered a day of mourning and mourning. Saturday is usually your biggest hassle: finishing your meal, folding your basket, and heading out to the night service. So on Holy Week, not only is it not worth it, but there is no time to go to the cemetery.
When to Clean Up the Cemetery
Three Saturdays in a row during Lent are specially installed, the second, third and fourth from the beginning of the Saturday, which are suitable for visiting cemeteries. On these days, services are held in churches for the repose of the souls of the dead. Those who, due to objective reasons, were unable or did not manage to get to the graves during this period, it remains to wait for the eighth day after Easter. It's just the day before Parent's day... And only then do the cleaning.
It is not recommended to visit the cemetery a week before the holiday and a week after. It is strictly forbidden to go to the deceased directly on Easter itself. This is a day of joy and should be spent in the company of your family. Easter for those who are no longer alive is Radonitsa. It falls on the 9th day after the main holiday. It is then that you need to go to the graves and share the joy of the bright Resurrection with the departed relatives.
Conscience torments those who did not manage to clean the graves before Easter. But this is stupid and pointless. Life leaves its mark on everyone and it is not always possible for a person to do what he wants. There are circumstances on which we are dependent. And you can remove it when the opportunity arises. The main thing is that those who are already resting in the cemetery remain in the memory and hearts of the living.
After Easter, many rush to the cemetery to bring order to the graves. People are preparing to meet their parents' day with dignity (Church Radonitsa, the second Tuesday after Bright resurrection).
In this regard, the question is often asked: when to go to the cemetery after Easter, and in general is it possible to go to the deceased on Easter days. A detailed answer from the clergyman explaining the position of the church is presented below.
The church commemorates the dead every Saturday during the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Great Lent (it lasts until Easter). If we talk about when to visit the cemetery before Easter in 2019, we can remember the commemoration dates set by the church calendar.
In 2019, these are the dates:
- March 2 - Ecumenical (meat-eating) parent saturday... All the departed Orthodox are commemorated - both parents and relatives, acquaintances, and friends.
- March 23, March 30, and April 6 are Parental Saturdays of Lent in 2019.
That is, it is optimal to get to the cemetery on these days, since a special prayer is performed in the temples for all the dead. However, it is allowed to come to the cemetery on other days (except for Easter itself).
When they visit the cemetery after Easter
Often they are interested in exactly when, on what day do you need to go to the cemetery, before or after Easter? Traditionally, the main day of commemoration of the departed is considered, i.e. parental day (second Tuesday after Bright Resurrection). This year, such a day will come on May 7, 2019.
It is interesting that despite the rather mournful atmosphere and sad thoughts, the very word "Radonitsa" is consonant with "joy". Such a coincidence is not accidental, and it certainly is not related to puns.
If you immerse yourself for a minute in the very atmosphere of the day and the events preceding it, you can imagine that deceased ancestors, dear people, are always happy when relatives visit them. After all, it is not for nothing that it is considered a normal, long-established tradition to go and go to graves, equip them, clean up the cemetery, commemorate the dead in prayer and alms.
The memory of ancestors is sacred in every nation, therefore there is a whole culture of remembrance - monuments are created, evenings are held for which loved ones gather. And quite often in honor of the famous deceased, they even arrange events that bear their name. It is thanks to this that the departed person seems to come to life, and his presence is almost felt next to us.
As for church ideas, the spirit of the deceased is immortal, and only the body dies. And of course, we only remember the soul. And you can help her in prayer and fasting. The holy fathers wrote about this, for example, John Chrysostom:
A luxurious burial is not love for the deceased, but vanity. If you want to sympathize with the deceased, I will show you another method of burial and teach you to lay the vestments, an adornment worthy of him and glorifying: this is charity.
When they visit the cemetery after Easter: the position of the church
The official point of view of the Orthodox Church is consonant with the opinion described above. Indeed, when the light week is coming (that is, the week after Easter), it is not worth going to the graves.
There is no sin in the visit itself, but it is better for a person to save their emotions from unnecessary shocks. This is especially important for older people who may have lost their children. And also - for those who have suffered a loss quite recently.
In such difficult moments, one can simply not restrain himself, and then frustration, tears, quite understandable sorrow will rush over the still not strong heart. At the same time, it is intuitively clear that both Easter itself and the week after it are bright days when believers celebrate the victory of life over death thanks to the infinitely precious sacrifice of Christ.
Easter, without a doubt, is the main religious holiday... It is the foundation of the faith of billions of people on our planet. The Resurrection of the Savior is the best proof of the existence of life after death. And it is also a gift to all living, who at any time can ask for forgiveness for their sins. And they will certainly be heard.
Therefore, it is preferable to go to the cemetery either before the holiday, or after it, to Radonitsa. But in extreme cases, a visit is also permissible on a bright week (but, of course, it is completely undesirable).
It should only be borne in mind that the clergy will not be able to serve the requiem until the parent's day: this is prohibited by the church charter.
Why do they go to the cemetery on Easter
Interestingly, there is a fairly widespread opinion among the people that it is imperative to visit the grave on Easter. For example, come right after the service, leave the dyes and cakes, etc.
This idea is not entirely correct: after all, Easter Sunday is a bright day, which is literally filled with the energy of life, joy, and movement forward.
It is clear that the cemetery tunes in to a completely different wave. Interesting: even if you just walk past unfamiliar graves on the territory where none of your relatives are buried, then a slight excitement will run through even the most calm person. And he certainly will not want to rejoice, dance, sing and have fun.
Therefore, on a bright Easter day, it is better to go home, to friends, relatives, neighbors. As they say, everything has its time.
One of the most important elements of the culture of every nation is the commemoration of the departed. In the treasuries of the people and philosophical thought you can find a lot wise sayings on this topic, but even without them, there is no need to explain the importance of this custom, which comes from ancient times and invisibly connects all human generations with each other. Remembrance is of particular importance for those whose loss of loved ones is still a fresh wound. Visiting cemeteries is one way for them to cope with their grief.
All religions of the world are in solidarity with the popular custom, but they also warn about the undesirability of frequent visits to cemeteries, and Orthodox Church, for example, even shares the so-called. "Days of joy" and "days of sorrow" falling on Easter (one of the main Christian holidays dedicated to the resurrection of Christ). Psychics also agree with religions, claiming that a cemetery is a focus of dead energy, and a person who visits it too often not only perceives it in full, but also carries the so-called. "Dead land" to my home. Therefore, it is so important, in their opinion, not to take anything from the cemetery, and upon returning from it (after cleaning the graves or visiting them on certain days), be sure to wash your hands and wipe your feet, leaving this earth behind the threshold.
Since many signs, superstitions and the most contradictory information are associated with the custom of remembering the dead, especially in countryside, it is not surprising that very often one hears a question addressed equally to Orthodox priests and ordinary elderly people: when is it possible and when not to go to the cemetery? Surprisingly, the answers are very different. For example, when asked whether it is possible to visit a cemetery on Easter, one priest will answer in the negative, another will say that it is not according to the canon, but nevertheless it is not forbidden, and in the villages, on the contrary, there is often an opinion that it is possible. In addition, there are stories about how the priests themselves visited cemeteries on Easter and sacred Easter cakes there (for example, this story is told by the rector of the church in the village of Maksakovka, Komi Republic, Father Ignatius). Who is right and on what days do you really need to visit the place of last rest?
"Time Machine"
Let's start with Easter - more precisely, with a story not about her, but about her history in the twentieth century (this will help to understand the nature of some customs common to post-Soviet space until today). Before the 1917 revolution, it was not just a big religious holiday, but also a state holiday, to which, according to the law of 1897, four days off were given (Friday and Saturday Holy week before Easter, and Monday and Tuesday next). Thus, the inhabitants of pre-revolutionary Russia received a small Easter vacation. The first seven days after the holiday were called "Easter week", and after it began the so-called. Radonitsa (or Radunitsa) - the oldest folk holiday commemoration of the dead, which arose in the pre-Christian era and is almost the only one (with the exception, perhaps, of the Trinity), fully accepted and supported by Orthodoxy. Exactly a certain day for Radonitsa there was no: she was celebrated on the first Sunday after Easter, and on the following Monday, and on Tuesday. The only thing that can be noted in this regard was the general rule for all localities: the dead were commemorated (and accordingly visited the cemetery) no later than the 9th day after Christ's Resurrection.
The ubiquitous distribution of Radonitsa is evidenced by the fact that in Russian it has 14 dialectal synonyms, in Ukrainian - 5, in Belarusian - 7, and in the border Ukrainian-Polish-Belarusian-Russian Polissya it is called "Joyful grandfathers." By the way, it is worth paying attention to the last name, as well as to some synonyms such as “Babskiy Great Day” or “Deadly Great Day”, which have taken root in the Ukrainian language. After the baptism of Russia, the popular consciousness firmly tied Easter as a celebration of the resurrection of the Son of God and the resurrection of all the dead on the Day of Judgment promised by him through Scripture, which contributed to the emergence of the following interpretation: Easter is a common holiday for all the living and the dead; on this day, God releases souls to earth so that they can celebrate this day with the living, and allows them to be together for a whole week. Souls return to Radonitsa, and this was also enshrined in some synonymous names of this holiday: "Seeing off" (or "Postings") - in Ukrainian and "Navi seeing off" - in Russian. That is, Easter became a symbol of the unification of the dead and living world, supported by the Gospel story of Jesus' descent into hell and the liberation of all sinners from it, and Radonitsa was perceived as its natural continuation: living people accompany the souls of dead relatives back to the cemetery. Despite the fact that this was a non-canonical interpretation of the essence of the holiday, the church did not interfere with it and even encouraged it in some way - for example, it preferred to call the “dead” “departed,” in which the popular consciousness saw another confirmation of its innocence. The only thing she warned the faithful against was against excessive revelry and scope during the celebration, characteristic of the Slavic soul (especially after strict Great Lent).
As you know, the Soviet government was not very fond of Orthodox faith and her servants, and that's putting it mildly. Taking out of context Karl Marx's phrase about religion as “opium for the people” (while completely forgetting that in Marx's time opium was a pain reliever, and its narcotic properties were revealed later), she took it as a slogan and began to act in accordance with him. In years civil war the clergy were among the first to be subjected to various repressions, and even the search by Patriarch Tikhon (V.I. Bellavin (1865-1925)) for a compromise between the Soviet government and the church did not have much success. None of his assurances of the loyalty of the church to the authorities, no help during the confiscation of valuables to help those who suffered from the famine of 1920-1921. (Tikhon allowed to "donate to the needs of the starving" church utensils and ornaments that "do not have liturgical use") could not cancel the fact of the anathema of 1918 and public condemnation of his actions Soviet power during the revolution and civil war. The reaction was appropriate: churches and churches were closed and desecrated, and all previous holidays were declared "a relic of the old regime" and were prohibited. Naturally, Easter was included in this list: its open celebration at state level it was forbidden (as, in fact, Radonitsa). An exception was made only for the elderly, but against them (as well as against believers of various age categories, brought up in an appropriate environment and did not succumb to atheistic propaganda), the Soviet government used moral pressure by volunteers blocking the approaches to the surviving churches on Saturday and Sunday. The logic was not only in preventing parishioners: active non-party people sympathizing with the Soviet regime, Komsomol members and communists were involved in the cordon, and among them there must have been (and were) acquaintances and friends of those who went to the service, who reported their names to the party and Komsomol cells. It is not difficult to understand that the consequences for believers could be the most unpleasant and dire.
This state of affairs led to the fact that people, under the pretext of "visiting graves", began on Easter day to go to cemeteries, where they celebrated Easter together with their deceased relatives and friends. This did not contradict the popular understanding of Easter, which we have already mentioned, and contributed to its final unification with Radonitsa, albeit in a slightly distorted version under the influence of external circumstances. This is how the custom was born, which is still misleading many residents of post-Soviet countries.
This continued until 1941. During the war, when the USSR was looking for not only material, but also moral support wherever it could and in what it could (it is known that on the night of November 19, 1942, before the offensive Soviet troops near Stalingrad, a special plane secretly even flew around their positions, having on board the power of the famous commander Tamerlane), the relationship between the authorities and the church has noticeably warmed up. Stalin more than once had in his office long conversations with the locum tenens of the patriarchal throne, and then the patriarch of Moscow and All Russia Sergius (I.I.Stragorodsky, (1867 - 1944)), and on April 4, 1942, just before the next Easter, a decree was issued, officially authorized its celebration and allowed everyone, despite curfew and blackout mode, to be on the streets all night.
The consequences of this order are preserved in the archives of the Russian FSB. So, according to the reports of the NKVD officers, that night in Moscow alone holiday services visited by about 85 thousand people, and in some churches their number reached 4-6 thousand. It is unlikely that this number was exaggerated: the department knew very well what consequences for the performers could entail inaccurate information of this kind. Of course, many skeptics immediately interpreted this step as saying modern language, a very competent PR campaign, designed not only to provide support for the power of the Soviet believers, but also to get additional points in the eyes of the allies in anti-Hitler coalition, but the believers did not care at all. In the same reports, words of gratitude to Stalin, which were uttered by visitors to Moscow churches, were carefully recorded that day, and they were completely sincere.
After the war, Easter was no longer officially banned, although opposition to its celebration in the pre-war spirit still appeared, especially in the outback. One such celebration was witnessed in 1961 by a mathematics teacher in rural school, the future world-renowned writer A. I. Solzhenitsyn, who reflected his impressions in one of the stories of the cycle "Tiny". In many, even non-churched families, the tradition of celebrating Easter at home was born (and RIA Novosti archives have preserved a lot of amateur photographs on this topic), after which people went to the cemetery on the same day to commemorate their relatives and celebrate with them. This is how the pre-war custom became even more entrenched in the minds of Soviet people.
Until the collapse of the USSR, the attitude towards Easter was an amazing duality inherent in the very essence of Soviet power. Since the 70s of the twentieth century, closer to the holiday in stores began to sell the so-called. Spring cupcake, very, very similar in shape to Easter cake, and state printing houses - first Moscow, then regional - produced Easter cards... Of course, there were no inscriptions on them like "Congratulations on Easter", but Easter elements were invariably present. Festive services continued to attract crowds of people, and in Moscow it often came to the point that on Saturday the routes of buses and trolley buses passing by the most visited churches were canceled: there were so many visitors that they could not fit either in the premises or inside the fence and dammed the sidewalk and the roadway. On the other hand, Easter was still not officially recognized, the days following it were working days, and the measures of influence became more sophisticated and very effective. For example, on the night of Easter Saturday to Sunday on television (or in a village club), a popular foreign movie (most often a French action movie or comedy) was scheduled to be shown, and large discos were held in the provinces. Naturally, the choice was often not made in favor of worship. A similar attitude was also to the commemoration of the dead: since the traditional days for this were working days, the custom of "Parents' Day" arose, for which Sunday, the 7th day after Easter, was spontaneously chosen. The visit to the cemetery on Easter was also preserved, especially since many churchyards in the outback were located directly at the churches, and thus people killed two birds with one stone. Those who were forced to leave their homes tried to go to the graves of relatives during their holidays, which led to the fact that the cemeteries were visited not on any particular day, but on any convenient day.
The customs influenced by the realities led to the fact that when, with the collapse of the USSR in 1991, the church began to openly point out the inadmissibility of uncontrolled visits to cemeteries, this led to numerous questions and confusion. Its echo is still the mentioned by us different understanding of the same holiday by residents of the post-Soviet province and the difference of opinion of Orthodox priests on this matter. However ... a difference of opinion?
When is the right time to visit cemeteries on Easter?
Today, the answer to this question is two seemingly mutually exclusive approaches. On the one hand, the church, speaking of "days of joy" and "days of sorrow," categorically advises against mixing them with each other. The logic is simple: visiting a cemetery on Easter day, it is difficult to refrain from grieving for the untimely departed, and even the promise of a coming resurrection is not enough to comfort a person. Meanwhile, the essence of Easter is, first of all, the joy of victory over death, and this is how all festive chants and prayers interpret it. The church still welcomes a visit to the cemetery on Easter days, but advises to do so so as not to confuse one with the other - that is, in other words, go to the deceased relatives on Radonitsa, also called Fomina week. The question is different - what if the 9th day after Easter is still working? The answer can be found in pre-revolutionary folk traditions: as we have already said, Radonitsa in different corners Russia was celebrated in any of three days- the first Sunday after Easter (7th), Monday (8th) and Tuesday (9th). The church charter allows you to pray for the departed from Monday. It is best, of course, to go to the cemetery on the 9th day - this is quite consistent with those that do not contradict Christian tradition popular ideas about the visit of the world of the living by the souls of the dead - but if this is not possible, then it is quite permissible to go to the churchyard on Sunday or Monday. The only thing the clergy warn against is that you should not go to cemeteries after Radonitsa, that is, on Wednesday and the rest of the days: it is simply meaningless from a Christian point of view. Unless at will ...
On the other hand, in the Bible and the Orthodox Church charter, there really is no prohibition to visit the cemetery on Easter, and from a formal point of view, you can go there on this day. But, as we have already said, this is contrary to the spirit of the holiday, and in the dispute between form and essence, preference should always be given to the essence. In addition, there is one more important nuance: during the Easter week, the churches do not commemorate the dead and do not read the magpie, putting it off until Radonitsa. If someone dies on Easter, the church regards it as God's mercy both grace and the funeral service for the deceased are performed according to the Passover rite, not like on other days. Before visiting the cemeteries, the priests advise to go to the temple, pray for the deceased and take communion yourself.
As for the story we mentioned about the priest's visit to the cemetery on Easter day, it really happened a few years ago in one of the Russian cities by order of the abbot, and, most likely, had as its goal not the maintenance of tradition, but unobtrusive enlightenment. It is known that many clergy, explaining to their parishioners the delicate subtleties of the celebration of Easter and Radonitsa, do not talk about an outright ban on visiting the cemetery on Easter (they cannot talk about it), but only highlight priorities and set semantic accents differently - they say, it will be better, if you do this ...
When else can you go to cemeteries?
In addition to Radonitsa, there are a few more days a year when they go to the cemetery:
- the day of the funeral of the deceased person (which goes without saying).
- 3rd, 9th and 40th day after his death.
- annually on the day a person leaves life.
- meat-eating (first universal parental) Saturday, after which Shrovetide begins.
- 2nd, 3rd and 4th Saturdays of Great Lent.
- Trinity (universal parental) Saturday - the day before the holiday of the Trinity.
- Dmitrovskaya Saturday - the first Saturday in November.
In many Russian regions, as well as in the Balkans, these Saturdays were considered the main days of commemoration of deceased ancestors, who, according to popular beliefs, like Easter, come to visit their relatives. After visiting the cemetery, a home memorial dinner is supposed, usually consisting of an unpaired number of dishes, etc. "Grandfather's evening", during which they try to conduct measured conversations and remember all those who have passed away. For their souls, a little bit of each dish is put aside, a candle is lit and put into the grain, alcohol is poured into a separate glass. At the end of the evening, the dishes are usually left on the table until the next day.
Quite often in rural areas you can also find the custom to go to the cemetery a few days before the memorial Sunday or between May 1 and 9, when traditionally they went to clean up the mass graves of soldiers who died during the Great Patriotic War, and at the same time to put things in order at the graves of relatives. The priests say this about this: they say, there is no clear timetable for when to look after the graves, but it is best to adhere to the established traditions.
The church is definitely not recommended to visit cemeteries on the main christian holidays- Christmas, Annunciation and others. If on these days someone close to you died, then in order to resolve this conflict, it is better to turn to Orthodox priest, although it must be said that the popular consciousness, faced with such a choice, did not philosophize slyly and often chose to visit the cemetery with burial, motivating its choice famous saying"Death and motherland do not wait for another year." However, neither priests, nor psychics, nor folk wisdom They do not advise to go to the cemetery after sunset, and all sorts of statements such as "they will not cause any harm, so you can even spend the night at the churchyard" are regarded by them as superstitions. You can also find advice not to visit cemeteries even on fixed days:
- pregnant women.
- those women who have their period (although this advice is not strict, and in the end the church leaves the final decision to the women themselves).
- on the birthday of the deceased, which is also best spent with the family, remembering him with a kind word.
How to behave in a cemetery
The Orthodox Church does not welcome stable folk traditions:
- eat and drink in the cemetery while visiting graves to commemorate the dead.
- pouring vodka into the grave.
- leave food on the grave.
According to the canon, on the days of visiting the cemetery, you should clean up the grave, light a candle, pray for the soul of the deceased (for this you can invite a priest) and just keep silent in memory of him. The funeral lunch / dinner is best done at home. You cannot step on graves and jump over them, clean up on other people's graves, unless the relatives of those buried in them ask for it, and take something from the cemetery. If you dropped something, then it is better to leave it there. If the dropped object is very important, taking it away, you need to put something in return (sweets, flowers, cookies) - that is, “buy off death,” as psychics say, otherwise a deceased person will soon appear in the house. After visiting the cemetery, you should definitely wash your hands, clean your shoes from the "dead earth" and the tool that was used to clean up the grave. It is also encouraged to give alms on this day, and it is recommended to distribute the food stored up for the cemetery to the hungry and the poor at the "commemoration of the soul."
Conclusion
Remembrance of the departed is a very important part of human culture, but it is equally important to do it right. Unfortunately no one can know if they are right folk customs and the prescriptions of the church or not, and the behavior of a person on the days of commemoration are echoes of his secret hopes and belief that everything will ultimately be good for everyone. And if so, then it is best to celebrate memorial days with the obligatory visit to the cemetery so that later you would not be ashamed of your behavior or not knowing anything - neither in front of the living, nor in front of the dead.
Everyone knows that one must walk in a cemetery and observe certain rules... Moreover, there are those that must be observed both during the funeral and when you just visit your relatives and friends who are no longer in this world. The cemetery connects two worlds:
- the world of the living;
- world of the dead.
Our dead relatives will never harm us, no matter what we say or what we do. But you still need to follow the rules, if only because those who are nearby can punish for ignorance. If it comes to a funeral, then the signs are read even before you get to the cemetery itself.
Should you believe in superstitions about the cemetery?
In the cemetery before noon, in the afternoon in the church... It is believed that the signs at the cemetery must be observed, otherwise you can incur a lot of problems. People say that you can go to the cemetery only in the morning. If you find yourself in the cemetery in the afternoon, the devils will joke with you. I can say in my own way my own experience... If you come to a cemetery with a pure soul, without doing anything bad to anyone, then there is nothing to be afraid of. Moreover, everyone who lies in the cemetery rejoices when they come to them. You need to be afraid of living people, not the dead. The living can do more harm. And you can even spend the night in the cemetery, and no one can do anything bad to you. This is especially true if you are visiting someone from your family. So do not believe this omen. it superstition about the cemetery those people who feel some kind of guilt.
You only need to be sober in the cemetery... Superstition too. During the funeral, you don't even think about alcohol, especially if you are burying someone close to you. But when then you come to visit, then practically no one in Russia can do without it. If during the life of a person you sat at the same table with him, drank, then how not to drink now? This sign is a warning only for those who do not know how to control themselves after taking it on the chest. One must behave with dignity in the cemetery. Hence the omen.
Do not tell about the good things in your life at the cemetery - you will leave here... Of course, you shouldn't do this if you are sitting near someone else's grave. All your positive emotions will go to the relatives of the one next to whose grave you are sitting next to. But it’s a different matter if you’re talking about good events in your life to those who are dear to you. Nothing bad ever happens. On the contrary, if something does not work out for you, then you will definitely be helped, and this is without options.
How to behave in a cemetery correctly
Do not bring anything from the cemetery to the house - you will ruin your life... Nothing really can be brought from the cemetery. Moreover, it doesn't even matter, loved one you were or not. The fact remains. Any thing that you take to the cemetery carries something that can harm a living person. This thing can harm not only the one who brought this thing home from the cemetery, but also any other person who picks it up.
Don't count the money in the cemetery - you will never see it again... You really can't count money in a cemetery. And if you took them out of your pocket or from your wallet, then you need to leave this money either on the grave of your relative, or on the grave of a person with the same name as yours. This is done in order to buy off poverty and early death.
You can't swear in the cemetery - all the swearing will remain on you... This is really true. All the bad things that are said in the cemetery fall on the shoulders of the one who spoke out. There can't even be other options here. In a cemetery, you need to be especially careful both in statements and in deeds. In general, being in a cemetery, you need to be very careful. Attentiveness and politeness are qualities that the departed greatly value. This is the very case when the thought that life does not end after death has special meaning... Therefore, it is necessary to show respect for those who have already left, otherwise they may punish.
Which way you came to the cemetery - this is the way you need to leave... You never know how it will turn out. It may be necessary to walk around several graves. Therefore, no matter how you go, you have visited those people whom you love. it not an omen, but a superstition those people who have no one to visit.
If there is a deceased in the house, there should be no animals in the house - to the new deceased. If someone died in the house, then be sure to take pets out of the house. If a pet, no matter whether a dog or a cat, settles under the coffin, it means that in the near future there will be a new deceased in the house. For this reason, they try to give it to neighbors or friends.
Signs at the cemetery must be observed. There is a life of its own, and in the cemetery they live their own life. Do not think that those who are already there feel nothing and know nothing. If you can behave so that the dead do not take offense at you, then your deceased relatives will help you in everything.
The question of why it is impossible to go to the cemetery on the birthday of the deceased is of interest to both superstitious people and realists. After a person dies, the relatives of the deceased do not forget about him, preserving the eternal memory of his soul. It is imperative to visit the cemetery. Usually, this is done on Radunitsa or when you need to clean up and put things in order at the burial site. Is it possible to come to the grave on the birthday of the deceased and how should one behave on such a date?
What does the church think about this?
The ministers of the church do not forbid the loved ones of the deceased to go to the cemetery on his birthday. It is correct to combine these visits with the order. church service for repose, or it is imperative to give alms. The commemoration that the church permits is flower arrangements at the tombstone, candles. The most important thing is to know the sense of proportion. Purchase wreaths from an agency in a large number, to hold large-scale celebrations at the grave of the deceased is not something that should not, but also prohibited.
The main thing, as the ministers of the church say:
- visit the grave;
- pray;
- nurture exceptionally good thoughts.
It is better not to shed tears when visiting the burial site, not to get upset, otherwise the soul of the deceased will begin to worry. There are no restrictions on visiting the cemetery. It is allowed to come and sit at the grave whenever it is convenient, but you can stay in the cemetery as much as you want. But, there is one point. You cannot celebrate the birthday of the deceased! This date after death simply does not exist, therefore it is not celebrated.
The clergy do not consider the birthday of the deceased to be something special. After death, it loses its meaning. Therefore, one should not think about this issue. Everything that a relative of the deceased spends on this day is always allowed.
What can you do?
We figured out that you can visit the grave on the date of birth of the deceased, if you do not perceive it as a holiday. There are a few simple actions which are not prohibited. Human can:
- hold a church memorial service;
- perform a common prayer at the tombstone;
- put things in order at the burial site;
- communicate mentally with the deceased;
- give to the poor begging.
When a person from the cemetery returns home, then, as is customary, it is allowed to treat those present delicious meals... This will help to remember the deceased, to read a prayer for his reassurance.
What is not allowed?
Experts give some advice on how to behave at the grave of the deceased. It is prohibited:
- Celebrate magnificently.
- Drink alcohol.
- Leave food at the tombstone or take something from the grave.
To adhere to the rules, it is allowed to commemorate the deceased at home and in the church, and you can visit the cemetery, but without gatherings, noise and akogol. If it is difficult for a person to visit the cemetery, then it is necessary to pray at the location. It is allowed to be present at the commemoration and services regardless of the territory to the cemetery, where the soul mate rests.
Should I celebrate?
You can visit the grave of the deceased on his birthday. But, there are also rules of conduct at the cemetery:
- you can not wear bright clothes;
- you need to come in the morning;
- avoid swearing, loud crying, laughing;
- it is forbidden to spit and litter;
- you need to leave without looking back, you cannot return.
People of the past generation, despite the fact that they did not have literacy, if compared with today's average person, read the traditions of Orthodoxy much more correctly and knew more about life than young people. They treated the dead, friends, and relatives in a special way. Once upon a time no one took food to the grave. This date has not been marked. And this is connected with the fact that earlier people believed that after the death of the deceased person there is no birthday when the soul was in the body of the deceased. When she goes to heaven, the date of death is immediately transformed into the date of birth.
