Psychology of raising twins. Psychology of twins and twins. Identical or dizygotic

The birth of a child is a great happiness for parents. And when two children are born at once, there is twice as much happiness. Kids will always have company for games and communication. True, everything else automatically doubles. Parents bear double responsibility and double care, because raising twin children has its own characteristics.

Let's meet: twins

From time immemorial they were considered mysteries and endowed with almost supernatural abilities. In esoteric literature, myths and legends, religious works, one can find many indications of their peculiarity and dissimilarity from others. Although science has not proven twin paranormality, the phenomenon of twinning to this day does not leave the minds of scientists indifferent.

The point is that for a person multiple pregnancy is not the norm and is quite rare, being severe and requiring more attention from doctors. And as a result of all this trouble, two, and sometimes more, babies are born.

Twins or twins?

You can often hear that some children are called twins and others are twins. From a medical point of view, both are twins, who can be identical or fraternal.

• identical or homozygous - these are “the same twins.” They develop from one egg and are copies of each other. Such children not only have identical eye, hair and skin color, but also the same blood type and even genetic code. It is very difficult to distinguish them from each other, which, of course, cannot but worry parents and loved ones, which inevitably affects the upbringing of twins - children with such striking external and internal similarities;
• Fraternal or heterozygous - children who are popularly called twins. They are as different from each other as two peas in a pod, often having the usual family resemblance. Quite often, these twins may be of different genders, and not only have significant external differences.

Features of the development of twin children

The developmental features of such children begin during pregnancy. Not designed to carry more than one child, the uterus can barely accommodate two fetuses. In this case, the vessels are severely compressed, which impedes both the growth of the placenta and the growth of the children themselves. Therefore, it is not surprising that twins are born with low weight and height, and only after a year or a year and a half do they catch up with their peers in development. Homozygous twins are most often same-sex and have identical appearance. Each of them literally from birth lives next door to their copy, their reflection. This cannot but affect their development. Therefore, education occupies a special place in the development of such children.

Although heterozygous twins do not have such a stunning portrait resemblance to each other, there are no less difficulties in their development. After all, they are also interconnected with each other and have no age difference, which means they grow and develop simultaneously.

All twins are characterized by the so-called “twin situation”, which consists in the development of properties inherent in twins as a result of the close interweaving of hereditary and environmental factors.

At birth, a child does not yet have personal boundaries and is not aware of his “I”. Both happen gradually. The baby faces a difficult path, first to self-awareness, then to distinguish himself in the world around him and “finally” to separate himself from his mother. The last point is one of the key ones.

Twins have the additional task of separating themselves from their twin. And how painlessly and easily twin children can cope with this is largely determined by upbringing.

Such children have a very strong affective connection and are close, often without noticing it, strengthening it even more. You can often see identically dressed and combed twins who have the same toys. Parents and relatives must find this cute and funny, and they organize the same leisure time for the kids, visiting the same sections. Children, seeing such a benevolent attitude on the part of significant adults, in turn also begin to try to be even more similar friend on a friend. As a result, toddlers often experience quite serious problems with differentiation of oneself as a separate personality and in speech the pronoun “we” instead of “I” prevails. A child cannot recognize himself in a family photo or in the mirror, and cannot even recognize his own name as a child.

The result is the development of mutual dependence of the children and the inability of each of them to live their own separate lives.

Note to parents: Children should not be given consonant names that will complement each other with their sound (for example, Oksana - Roxana or Ruslan and Rustam). It is better to try to choose names that are completely different in sound, both in full and in abbreviated form. And call the kids by name.

However, the problem of identification, although paramount, is by no means the only one in the development of twins. Speech development often becomes the Achilles heel of twins. It’s all because of their tendency to form a secret language that only the two of them understand. The reason why this is very simple is the communicative isolation of children from each other.

A brother or sister is the most common object of contact. In families of non-twin children, the child’s process of speech acquisition is based on his copying the speech of adults. In twins, copying occurs on a reciprocal basis. Since none of the kids can speak yet, such copying results in a very specific language of communication. Moreover, the twins themselves understand each other perfectly, which cannot be said about their puzzled parents. As a result, children experience a significant delay in mastering speech skills and inhibition in the development of other higher mental functions, which in turn is quite often misinterpreted by both parents and specialists. The acute question arises: are children lagging behind in intellectual development? The answer is negative. The phenomenon of the “secret” language of twins disappears with age. With the normalization of speech function, all other parameters immediately return to normal, and by the age of 6–7 years, children usually catch up with their peers in development.

Note to parents: one of the features of raising twin children up to school age in the family is to work on timely and correct formation speech skill. You should take time to communicate with children, talk a lot, addressing each individually by name. We need to try to expand the sphere of communication between children in order to prevent such a closure on each other.

Features of raising twin children in a family

Raising twin children is not an easy task for parents. Even parents’ perception of twins has its own characteristics.

The first thing they pay attention to happy parents twins are their differences. They begin to look for at least something, some small sign by which they could distinguish one little one from another. It could be a barely noticeable pigment spot or mole, or skin tone, or hair curl, or whatever. In cases where parents cannot find such differences, they can invent them. The trouble is that this tendency is developing not only in relation to the physiological differences of children, the same is done with character traits and behavioral characteristics. As a result, the models of interaction between parents and children are different. After all, by starting to point out real or imaginary differences in children, parents, without knowing it, make significant changes in the emotional relationships with their twins. This means that parents will build all manipulations and any contact with each of their children in accordance with noticed or imagined differences in the children. It cannot be said that for families with homozygous twins such parental behavior is destructive. Rather, on the contrary, by highlighting the differences in each child, parents strengthen them and thereby strengthen the individuality of each child, which is a prerequisite for the correct and harmonious development of personality.

Raising children of opposite sexes in a family does not involve such difficulties. The educational approach to them is built based on the gender of the child. Boys and girls are raised and caressed differently and cared for differently. In addition, different toys, clothes, and living conditions in general play a significant role in rooting differences in the characters of children. Raising twins of the same sex at the very beginning cannot be called easy either, if only for the reason that external differences in children are not visible from birth. They will appear gradually. This means that for a certain period of time, parents will experience exactly the same as if they had homozygous twins.

When raising twin children in a family, it is important to take into account that the main task of the parents will be separation, and not bringing together as in ordinary families with children the same age, for example. And it doesn’t matter whether the twins are homozygous or heterozygous. The thing is that this couple already has too much love, too much in common, that trying to add more is quite risky.

Geminis are children whose upbringing is full of complexities and nuances. If in a “twinless” family parents strive to bring children closer together and thereby reduce conflict and competition between them. They try to make the life of their little ones as comfortable as possible and send them to the same nursery and kindergarten groups, enroll in the same clubs, and so on. And this most often works: children become closer, and parents can use their time more efficiently.

But in twin families, everything is exactly the opposite. the main task parents of twins - create conditions for clear differentiation of children and, if possible, start as early as possible. We must try to separate them as early as possible. socially, give them the opportunity to independently build relationships with other people without the pressure of twinning. This way, children can install inner harmony, asserting the differences between them. Each of the kids will have their own friends and their own personal impressions and discoveries that are not related to their half. This means that each of the twins will develop and strengthen their idea of ​​themselves as a separate personality.

If parents diligently cultivate the similarity of their children, this can lead to their painful isolation from each other in the future and will become a big obstacle in creating love and family relationships in the future.

Some basic tips for raising twins:

Summing up

Each child is individual. This postulate takes on special significance when raising children of twins. It is the individuality and peculiarity of each child that their parents must develop and support. Constantly fighting the temptation to emphasize the amazing similarity of the twins to each other, constantly afraid of confusing them.

The most important thing in raising twin children is focusing on the needs of each child, the sensitivity and attention of each parent, even if this requires additional time and financial costs. Happy and healthy children are the most important thing for every loving parent.

The process of acquiring individuality in twins is more difficult than in single-born children. If a single-born baby develops a close attachment only to his mother, then a twin baby immediately forms two such attachments: to his mother and to his co-twin. Therefore, twins face a more difficult task: to learn to perceive themselves not only separately from their mother, but also from their co-twin.

Finding individuality from the first days of life

The formation of the individuality of each of the children can be difficult if the family and surrounding people treat the twins as a single whole, overemphasize their similarities and believe that it is not at all necessary to pay individual attention to each of them. It is very important for parents of twins to avoid this behavior, as it maintains and strengthens the emotional dependence between children.

You should not call twins by names that are similar in sound or rhythmic structure (for example, Sasha and Pasha, Marina and Irina, etc.). From the very first days, you must learn to distinguish between your babies and address them by name. So that you can always tell “who is who,” you can, for example, paint the nails of one of the kids with harmless varnish or make them different bracelets, etc.

Try to ensure that each twin has the opportunity to communicate regularly with each family member. Talk to both twins together and to each of them separately; try to pet your babies more often; hug them, take them in your arms - this is very important for them. You can take one twin at a time (or a twin with another brother or sister) for a walk or on errands: this way the kids will gradually get used to being without each other and in the future they will not feel excessive discomfort if they have to be separated for several hours or even days. Such personal communication will help the twins develop attachment to all family members.

Let your twins choose what they will wear and dress themselves as early as possible (they should be able to do this by age 3-4). Don't insist that they dress the same, even if relatives give them identical sets of clothes.

Below we list some features of parental behavior that could contribute to more successful formation of individuality in twins.

• Choose different sounding names for your twins.
• Make it a habit to dress them differently; When the kids are a little older, allow them to dress themselves and choose what they will wear.
• When addressing twin babies, call them by their first names.
• Highlight and encourage the differences between them.
• Take the twins separately on excursions and walks as often as possible.
• Set aside time for private time with each twin as often as possible.
• If the space in your apartment allows, give each twin a separate room.
• Try to hug, kiss, stroke, and take your twins in your arms more often.
• Praise the twins more often, but, if possible, not at the same time and for different actions.
• Try to take disciplinary measures individually in relation to each of the twins.
• It is important that twins have frequent opportunities to interact with adults and peers outside their family.
• Try to buy different gifts for your kids, based on their individual tastes, preferences, interests, as well as what each of them likes. this moment more is needed.
• Be prepared for the fact that twins will tend to behave differently, since similar appearance does not mean the same behavior, and be accepting of this.
• Be okay with twins having different opinions.

We offer you several criteria to indicate that your twins are successfully developing their own individuality.

1. Rarely cries if a twin has cried.
2. Doesn't get very upset when separated from his twin.
3. Rarely gets very upset when a twin is punished or upset.
4. Does not confuse his own reflection in the mirror with his twin (after 15-18 months).
5. Only responds to given name(and the name of the twin is never answered).
6.Develops according to age standards.
7. Rarely imitates his twin, imitates him.
8. Does not use the special “language of twins.” Speech development corresponds to age norms.

Any attempt by your twins to find individuality will always be balanced by pressure from other people who believe that twins are one and sometimes insist that twins must be the same! So don't be afraid to go overboard when helping your little ones find their individuality!

What to do with constant comparisons?

In the life of twins, constant comparisons with each other are inevitable. They will always be compared by others, and sometimes they themselves can be caught arguing about which of them is the best... At the very beginning of the life of twins, comparing them with each other contributes to the development of the parents’ attachment to their children: so that mom and dad will love their newborns more deeply, they need to know which one is which. When twins are born, parents try to notice how each of them is unique.

As twins grow up, you need to find a middle ground between comparing them to each other and the need to see each child as an individual. Parents of twins, mindful of the fact that comparison is an integral part of their children's lives, can take preventive measures against burdening them with unnecessary “labels.”

The fact is that constant changes in the personalities of the twins and in their relationships with others do not allow certain labels to be attached to them once and for all. Today's quiet person can become the life of the party tomorrow. Each of the twins has their own developmental trajectory, so physical growth and personality development proceed at their own pace for each of them. Labeling can become a self-fulfilling prophecy that will leave its mark on the fluid and unique relationships that each twin has with each other, with family members, and with the world around them.

Moms and dads will always have to listen to questions from relatives, friends and employees about which of the twins is more sociable, balanced, who has a better appetite, etc. The first outings for a walk or a visit can confuse many unprepared parents. In the beginning, some of them dress the twins alike and willingly answer questions from onlookers and relatives. Others find the attention uncomfortable. Most parents don't like it when their twins are compared to each other. Therefore, even in twins who cannot yet speak, you can begin to model behavior in case of unwanted comparisons. Here are a few strategies to use when you want to avoid unnecessary questions and contacts:

• When going for a walk, do not dress your children the same. Twins in identical suits are a wonderful reason for conversation and comparisons. Dress them differently and, if they are babies, put one in a stroller and the other in a sling.
• If possible, leave one twin at home when going outside. If parents are taking both children to the store, distribute the purchases, take one child with you and agree to meet at the exit.
• Humor is the best way to get rid of unnecessary questions. Don’t think that witticisms will come to your mind without preparation, spontaneously, exactly when you need them. When you have insomnia at night, try to come up with some kind of joke in response to a stupid question that will make at least you and the twins smile.

Meeting Geminis amazes people, so they often ask illiterate questions with the best intentions. Parents of opposite-sex twins are accustomed to hearing questions about whether they are identical or not.

When asked which child has the better character, you can rephrase the question: “What do you mean, what are they like as individuals?” You can also explain to those who are curious that your children are constantly changing. Parents can show relatives and teachers how to formulate questions that do not involve comparisons between twins. If you're in the mood, you can try to explain to your listeners how to appreciate both the similarities and differences in twins, without comparing them to each other.

As for the children themselves, there is no doubt that many of them compare themselves with their twin. These comparisons begin with simple curiosity, which is further aggravated by the attention that surrounds them from the moment of birth. An adult twin woman says that as children, she and her sister got to the point where they began to compare who had more freckles, and asked their mother: are freckles good or bad?

Constant comparisons coming from others are beyond the influence of the twins. Identical twins are similar in appearance, which encourages others to look for their differences and publicly announce them. And between fraternal twins, especially those of different sexes, it is especially interesting to find similarities. Fraternal twins are often put in the awkward position of being asked to prove they are twins because they often don't look alike.

Comparisons are a double-edged sword. A Gemini who does well academically is proud of his achievements, but feels embarrassed or even guilty that his twin suffers from comparisons. This may end with the successful twin giving up classes so as not to let the other one down. Geminis may try the following strategies in response to unwanted comparisons:

• Ignore all questions. Little twins may find that often the best answer to annoying questions is simply silence. Tell the twins that they don't have to swallow the bait that others throw at them. When classmates ask your child who his parents love more - him or his twin, invite him to answer: “I don’t know, let’s go on playing.” If there is no continuation, such questions will soon disappear.
• Explain what it means to be a twin. Often your children's friends are really interested in this, but they ask strange questions or make ridiculous comparisons. They understand what it means to be a twin no more than twins understand what it means to be a singleton. Invite them to share the joys and sorrows of “twinhood” with their friends. Help children understand that the question that touched their heartstrings is completely innocent in content. Many parents ask their twins to forgive insults unless the intention to hurt them was completely obvious.
• Express your attitude. If both of the previous strategies don't work, a sharp response will help keep the curious at bay. Unfortunately, some children may choose your twins as the butt of jokes. So if they "shaved off" an obsessive peer and it worked, so be it. Children don't want to look stupid in front of each other, and this type of behavior will ultimately produce positive results. Today's bore can become tomorrow's good friend.

Speech development in twins

40% of twins have a characteristic problem, the lack of understanding of which by parents and teachers can negatively affect the success of these children in school.

As children, identical twins Gracie and Ginny Kennedy came up with names for each other: Potto and Cabengo. They called all the things in the house words of their language. They understood each other perfectly. Of course, no one else could understand what they were saying: to others it seemed as if they were from another planet. With adults they spoke English or German (the language of their grandmother) and helped themselves with signs and facial expressions. They protested against adults' attempts to learn their language.
Linguistic experts studied the conversations of these twins. They discovered that their language was a mixture of words from English and German, as well as words they had invented themselves. It was found that such a language exists in many twins.

What are the possible causes of this phenomenon, which often leads to speech delays in twins?

It is known that the main role in a child’s speech development is played by his communication with adults. Meanwhile, parents of twins usually cannot afford long conversations with each child face to face. A mother who needs to change two diapers is unlikely to sit with one child and chat with him, while the other is screaming to get her attention. And when the child grows up, forever busy parent there is not enough time to correct his grammar and pronunciation.

All children, when learning to speak, imitate several models, for example, a nanny, older children, peers, relatives. Twins, as they spend more time together, mostly imitate each other, which further increases the distortions already inherent in children's speech. As a result, many words become incomprehensible to others - this is the “secret language”, or the so-called autonomous speech of twins. A common occurrence in the speech of little twins is the omission of the endings of certain words. It is believed that twins need such an abbreviated language to quickly express their thoughts, since in families with several children, competition for the right to be heard and understood by their parents intensifies.

Therefore, it is not strange that twins, especially if they have a very close relationship with each other, show some delays in speech development. On average, such delays are more common in twins than in singletons, but this should in no way be considered an indicator of mental retardation or a harbinger of learning difficulties. However, to successfully move out of the home environment and into the wider social environment, twins need to develop appropriate language skills. Shortest way to achieve this goal - imitation correct speech parents.

Let's look at a few practical techniques, with which you can support and accelerate the speech development of your twins:

• Try to find time to talk with each twin individually. This is especially important if you notice a tendency in one of the twins to be responsible for both at once. This face-to-face communication allows a more silent child to learn to speak for himself.
• When talking to each child, give him an example of correct speech.
• Read aloud to the twins and encourage them to create stories together. This develops children's interest in words, which leads to an increase in their vocabulary and improving verbal communication skills. Encourage twins to participate in story writing. Start with the simple phrase, “Once upon a time,” and ask each twin to take turns picking up where the previous one left off.
• Wean your children away from the habit of interrupting others or attracting attention by shouting. In families with several children, there is a constant struggle for parental attention. In families of twins, such competition sometimes intensifies, and its participants do not even have time to understand what is happening. In cases where one of the twins raises his voice, interrupts, or obsessively seeks attention, try to establish some ground rules and consistently monitor their implementation.
• Give each twin the opportunity to interact independently with other children. Allowing your little ones to interact with peers helps them develop language skills, which in turn has a positive impact on reading and writing. By the age of eight, most twins have become social enough to abandon the “secret language” that existed between them. By the beginning of training in high school Twins should have ample opportunity to communicate independently of each other. This is especially important for opposite-sex couples, where the girl may be superior to her brother in the development of social and speech skills.
• Consider the individuality of each child. Although it is very important to see in each twin unique personality, it is often difficult to avoid comparisons, especially when it comes to their speech characteristics. Remember that each twin has its own pace of development. Try not to “stick” labels on them: this is “silent”, this is our “talker”.

Possible physical development problems for twins

Both among single-born children and among twins, there are a small number of children with disabilities of either physical, mental, or both types of development. Moreover, the frequency of such disorders in twins is slightly higher. And this is not surprising. It is known that premature babies have a higher risk of being born not entirely healthy. Disturbances can also be caused by certain developmental features that are specific to twins (for example, “blood transfusion” syndrome between fetuses in the womb). In addition, “younger” twins are at higher risk of developing central nervous system disorders due to the fact that during childbirth they experience a lack of oxygen.

Developmental problems in twins are usually detected faster than in singletons, because the lag of one of the children from the twin comes to the attention of adults early. Such early diagnosis allows timely measures to be taken and treatment to be prescribed.

Irina is the mother of identical triplets. They all grew up to be equally sweet and sociable children, and nothing caused her concern until she noticed a significant difference between Vanya and the other two boys. Two boys at 8 months old could sit and crawl perfectly, but Vanya practically could not hold his back in a sitting position and had only just begun to move around the floor. Comparing him with his brothers, Irina realized that his legs did not obey him well. These were the first signs of cerebral palsy.
Margarita turned out to be a more attentive mother and from the very beginning she noticed that Borya slept too much and did not know how to concentrate. She couldn't get him to look at her face even for a few seconds. Later, Bori was diagnosed with a disorder of the nervous system, leading to developmental delays.

Inherited diseases such as fibrosis Bladder and genetic disorders (Down syndrome) are no more common in twins than in single-born children. Fraternal twins, like ordinary brothers and sisters, rarely get sick together. Even infections during pregnancy (such as rubella) or drugs that interfere with fetal development (thalidomide) can harm one child but spare the other. Identical twins also rarely suffer from the same disease, unless it is inherited (for example, Down syndrome can only be observed in one of the twins). Apparently, this is explained by the fact that this genetic disorder develops after the splitting of the egg.

Parents of a sick child inevitably experience a storm of mixed emotions, not the least of which is a sense of loss healthy baby. For parents of twins, another specific loss is added to this - the loss of “twinhood”. Many mothers and fathers feel proud to have twins and enjoy the attention of others. Therefore, parents often avoid advertising that their children, who are so different in their physical and mental development, are actually twins. At the same time, it is difficult for them to stop treating their children as a couple and to abandon the image of themselves as parents of twins.

Anya and Angela are the fourth and fifth children in the family. Anya was born without complications, but Angela could not pass through the birth canal, and after an hour of pressing on the mother's stomach, it was done C-section. During this time, irreversible changes occurred in Angela's brain due to lack of oxygen. She took her first independent breath only half an hour after she was born.
At the age of 6, the sisters were a very strange couple. Angela was a pretty little thing, chained to wheelchair. She couldn't even sit up on her own. She smiled and made some sounds, but could not utter a single articulate word and poorly understood the speech addressed to her. In terms of her physical and mental development, she remained at the level of a baby. She was accompanied by her healthy sister Anya, wearing exactly the same clothes.

In another case, an impressionable mother almost refused treatment for her daughter because of her desire to preserve the physical similarity of the twins.

Katya and Lisa are three-year-old identical twins. “Younger” Lisa, as a result of a complicated birth, suffers from mild cerebral palsy. The physiotherapist offered to make a prosthetic leg for her so that she could walk normally. At first the mother refused because it meant that the twins would not be able to wear the same clothes for some time. However, she soon changed her mind.

Some parents are faced with the problem of how to properly praise and encourage their twins.

Zhora is a smart three-year-old boy suffering from cerebral palsy. For many months he diligently learned to crawl. Finally he managed to get to his knees and crawled unsteadily across the room. The parents expressed their delight and did not skimp on their praise. Seva, his twin brother, could not understand the reason for what was happening. After all, at three years old he walked well, but crawling never even occurred to him. And he, of course, did not remember being so praised for similar achievements. Now he began to try to attract the attention of his parents by crawling, but for some reason they ignored him.

Brothers and sisters of disabled children during times of stress can seem to go back in development, becoming like a twin.

For most children, having a physically or mentally disabled sibling is difficult. This entails inevitable changes in the life of the family: caring for a sick child takes time, which means that mom and dad pay less attention to healthy children.

The healthy twin is even more affected by these problems if he is constantly reminded that he and the sick child are members of the same twin pair. He may experience an irrational feeling of guilt that misfortune passed him by, that he got his health at the cost of his twin’s illness. Therefore, a healthy child often tries to “atone” for his twin and takes on a significant part of his care.

Misha and Petya are identical twins. Parents could not get enough of their healthy babies, and only the mother knew how to distinguish between them. At 9 months, both children suffered from gastroenteritis. After recovery, it turned out that for Petya the disease did not pass without a trace. He could no longer sit up on his own, and all that was left of his previous laughter and babbling was a rare, reluctant smile.
Over time, the differences between the twins increased even more. At 18 months, Misha was already running, and Petya was just learning to crawl. At 3 years old, Misha spoke in full sentences, while Petya spoke only a few words. At the age of 6, if not for the identical clothes, no one would have thought that they were twins. Petya was much shorter and noticeably lagged behind his brother in mental development.
When the twins turned 13, their mother began to worry, and, oddly enough, her healthy son became a cause for concern. Misha studied very well, all subjects were easy for him; he wanted to become a doctor when he grew up. He was a calm and diligent child, his teachers had an excellent opinion of him. The only alarming thing was his refusal to participate in all extracurricular activities. Despite the persuasion of his parents, he refused to go hiking. He loved sports, but he never stayed after school to play in the yard with his classmates. Instead, Misha hurried home to spend free time with Petya. Perhaps this was the only way for him to ease his feelings of guilt towards his brother.

Another common cause of disturbances in social life healthy child- this is the fear that his friends will see him with his twin and will not want to come visit. This problem occurs less frequently if the twins do not emphasize their “twinness.”

Caring for a disabled child is more difficult even in infancy: he refuses the breast, sucks slowly, and may suffer from seizures. Therefore, the mother has to completely focus on him, and entrust the care of her healthy twin to almost the first person she meets. Often family friends, understanding this situation, offer their help in caring for the sick baby. The ideal situation for parents would be to leave the sick twin with a trusted person for a few hours, and go somewhere with the healthy child themselves.

A disabled child often needs the help of doctors, so a speech therapist, physiotherapist and other specialists become a kind of “family friends”. Frequent visits to the clinic mean that one child receives Special attention, and the other has to follow his mother so as not to disturb her, or stay at home with a nanny. Therefore, a healthy child often feels that he is not noticed. Some children begin to compete for their parents' attention in negative ways, creating a lot of problems for them, while others try to gain a sense of security by staying close to their mother and refusing to talk to anyone else.

At times, even the most understanding child feels envy and rejection of the attention that is given to his sick twin, who, moreover, is given many concessions, for example, exempted from housework. A healthy child can express his emotions in different ways - from open jealousy and irritation to more complex behavioral disorders.

Katya had an identical twin who suffered from a mild form of cerebral palsy; signs of trouble began to appear at the age of 6. The teachers noticed that she had become unusually quiet and withdrawn. She preferred to remain silent and avoided other children. Her behavior at home ranged from open aggression towards her mother, when she avoided any physical contact, to demands to be petted and placed on her lap, often at the most inopportune moments.
There were three more children in the family - the younger and older brothers and Lisa, Katya's twin. Their father ran a vegetable stall, and their mother, who helped him with his work and looked after the children, had practically no free time. No matter how hard the mother tried, she could not give all four children as much attention as she would like. In this sense, the youngest son, who stayed at home, and Lisa, who spent a lot of time with her mother during visits to the doctor and doing therapeutic exercises, were in a more advantageous position.
Katya spent time with her mother only once a year - during a medical examination at the clinic. After that, they went shopping for the whole evening and went to sit in a cafe.
How can you help a child in such a situation? The mother was encouraged to find a way to leave the other children at home one evening a week and go to the pool with Katya. Katya loved to swim, but most of all she loved to be with her mother. For both of them it was good way relax, establish physical contact, and for the mother, also take a break from work.

The presence of a sick child in a family imposes certain restrictions on the life of the family as a whole. This applies to many types active rest– for example, cycling tourism. If a child has mental retardation, trips to museums, theaters, and cinema are generally excluded. However, this situation has its advantages for each of the twins. A sick child always has a role model in front of him in the person of his twin, who encourages him to develop physically and socially. And a healthy twin develops patience and sensitivity to the needs of another person.

Children who grow up in a family where one of the members is mentally or physically disabled often later choose professions related to caring for and caring for other people. Parents should support the child in his inclinations, without at the same time exacerbating his sense of guilt towards his co-twin.

When both children in a family are sick, an incredible burden falls on the shoulders of the parents. Not only are they dealing with a double tragedy, but they are also forced to cope with the emotional and physical demands of caring for two children. Even physical activity itself can be unbearable. All families with disabled children, especially if they are twins, need outside help. Only in such conditions can a mother pay the necessary attention to sick children and find time for healthy ones.

Methods for correcting physical development disorders in twins

Twins born after 37 weeks at normal weight are no more likely to get sick than singletons. But in low-birth-weight and premature twins, movement disorders are more common than in single-born children, which require correction at an early stage with the help of gymnastics. The reason for this is primarily prematurity and to a lesser extent– malnutrition in the womb. In low birth weight and premature babies, brain immaturity, lack of nutrition and oxygen, cerebral hemorrhages, and restricted movement in the womb can lead to poor posture. With a breech presentation, diseases of the hip joint often develop, and if the head is positioned incorrectly, contraction of the neck muscles, the so-called torticollis, can occur.

Movement disorders and developmental delays can be corrected more successfully the earlier they are detected. In order to identify possible disorders as early as possible, children at risk undergo examinations by a pediatrician.

Massage for twins

Massage perfectly relieves all anxiety and worry in children, helps them relax and has a positive effect on them, which will affect them for the rest of their lives. All the advantages of baby massage are difficult to list, but it is useful for both twins and their parents. Babies who receive massage sessions are calmer, sleep longer and cry less.

For premature babies (of which there are many twins), massage has an even more significant effect. It turned out that children who are massaged three times a day are more attentive, their period of wakefulness is longer, they gain weight faster and are discharged from the hospital 3-6 days earlier than their peers who did not receive massage sessions. At the age of 8 and 9 months, these children are still superior to their peers in height and weight, and are also ahead of them in the development of intelligence and physical activity. Nervous system Premature babies who receive massage sessions mature faster. Thanks to this, they install faster correct mode sleep and wakefulness and they respond more readily to the presence of an adult.

In addition, massage will help parents of twin babies slow down the frantic rhythm of their lives for a while. This is a wonderful way for the mother to calm down a little and get to know each child's individuality better. When you give your baby a massage, you can’t rush, but so often mothers of twins run through life at full speed. It helps you slow down and pay attention to the little things in life that are very important not to lose sight of. Working mothers of twins have it even harder, so massage gives them the opportunity to be alone with each child and strengthen contact with him. After a long day of work, it helps to establish contact with the child through touch. This relieves the mother from feeling guilty about her absence. Massage also develops in parents a sense of confidence in their ability to handle children, especially if they are born ahead of schedule. For fathers, such confidence does not arise immediately.

Before you start massaging your babies, talk to your doctor about what kind of touching is appropriate, especially if your babies were born prematurely. If massage is not an option for them yet, ask if it is possible to carry them in a sling - this also allows you to maintain skin-to-skin contact with them.

If your babies are ready for a massage, there are techniques that can be used even before leaving the hospital. To begin, run your hands over the baby's head and legs at the same time. According to experts, this gives them the feeling that they are still in the womb. In addition, it is recommended to massage the toes, rub the hands, bend and straighten the arms and legs, and stroke the baby’s head and forehead. Newborn babies can withstand no more than 15 minutes of massage, and then satiety sets in.

After discharge, include massage into your regular daily routine. It is recommended to coincide with the time of bathing or going to bed. You can try rubbing the twins with baby cream or oil after bathing, putting on pajamas and putting them to bed. Another time suitable for massage is when you are awake in the mornings or evenings. Just make sure first that the kids are not hungry or tired.

Massage can also be given to children who have already left infancy.

Three ways to calm your baby's tummy:

• "Water wheel". Cup your palm and run the edge of your palm over your baby's belly from the bottom edge of the ribs to the elastic band of the diaper. Repeat 7-8 times.
• "Moon and sun". Using the fingertips of your left hand, make a clockwise circle (“sun”) along the baby’s belly from the bottom edge of the ribs to a point 3-5 cm below the navel. Simultaneously right hand, moving clockwise from 10 to 4 o'clock on the dial, describe the crescent moon. Repeat each movement 8 times.
• "I Love You» . Massage your babies with your fingertips. To write I, draw a line from the bottom edge of the ribs down the left leg. For Love, draw an upside down L on the belly, moving from left to right. For You, draw an upside-down U on your stomach, moving from left to right. Repeat 4-5 times.

Raising Twins with Special Needs

Raising twins, even physically healthy ones, is not an easy task. And it gets even more complicated if parents have to raise premature twins or twins with special needs. The experience of parents who successfully cope with the challenges of raising twins with health or behavioral problems suggests paying attention to the following points.

Finding support and self-care

Admit to yourself that you may be saddened by the fact that your children are losing normal opportunities. This sadness does not leave many parents all their lives: although they say that they love their children for who they are, they still dream of them being normal. The sooner you recognize and work through feelings of frustration, denial, anger, guilt and fear, the easier it will be for you to respond effectively to your children's needs. Parents of twins with special needs often feel alone: ​​they do not find full understanding from either the parents of healthy twins or the families of children with disabilities. Many parents draw bits and pieces of support from sympathetic friends and relatives, some resort to the help of Internet resources.

Parents often neglect taking care of themselves and healthy children, devoting themselves entirely to children with special needs. This can lead to psychological burnout, marriage breakdown, and even abandonment of problem children. Eat and sleep enough. Communicate more with your spouse, take rest breaks to get out of the situation, find time for hobbies, and devote individual time to each of your healthy children. Teach friends and family how to babysit babies. This is especially important in emergency situations (such as hospitalization or emergency travel). Reliable helpers who can be trusted with children and housework are essential in twin families, and even more so for keeping your sanity intact if you're raising children with special needs. Parents need to divide responsibilities among themselves so as not to drive one of the spouses to indignation due to overload. Accept any help and tell others exactly what they can do for you.

Depression is more common among parents of twins in general, not to mention in cases where one of the children has died or is disabled. The more stress, daily difficulties and health problems you have with your children, the greater your risk of depression. If you feel like the problems you have to cope with are too much, seek professional help because effectively treating your depression will allow you to better care for your children.

Upbringing

If your babies are born 2-3 months premature, it will take a long time for them to start smiling, holding their heads and crawling. These delays in development, especially in the development of communication with adults, are frustrating for many parents, especially if children require constant care and receive little or no feedback from parents. Many parents find that they become more attached to one of their children—the one who is physically weaker or the child with special needs. For other parents, on the contrary, it is easier to love more strong baby. Try to recognize the moment when one of the children becomes the favorite, and do not label the twins as “smart, behind the times, lame,” etc.

Some parents of premature twins after giving birth, when their chances of survival are still unclear, try not to become too attached to their children. This is normal defense mechanism, but it can complicate the development of attachment. The process of developing attachment, especially for premature babies, can take several months, but parents gradually begin to love them.

For parents mourning the loss of their child's normal capabilities, a feeling of rejection towards him, the desire to protect a stronger baby in every possible way, the fear of breaking under the burden of caring for two disabled children, and a feeling of guilt towards the children are a normal reaction. Don't demand more from yourself than you are actually capable of. Accommodating children's special needs is a slow, gradual process. It may be more severe if the child has mental retardation, speech delays, or severe physical impairments that require constant care. But when children reach school age, life becomes easier for most parents.

Parenting premature or special needs twins is challenging, and you will need to prioritize your activities as a family. You most likely will not be able to babysit two children at the same time. However, don't lose sight of your stronger baby while caring for his weaker twin. All your children need love and an enriching home environment that stimulates their development.

Treat your children without emphasizing their differences from other peers. Set boundaries and demand discipline from them, as you would from any healthy child. If one of the twins is healthy and the other is disabled, do not hold back the development of the first so that “they are more like twins.” Seniors and younger brothers Twin sisters also need your care and individual attention. Make sure that healthy children are not overburdened with baby care (bathing, dressing, medical procedures, etc.). They may be very attached to a child with special needs and strive to do everything in their power for him, but for them to spend time interacting with peers, shifting part of the care of the kids to the parents. Find a middle ground.

Birthdays of premature and special needs twins, especially if one of them died before or shortly after birth, are often associated with painful memories. Some parents, even after ten years, prefer to celebrate their birthday not on the day when the twins were actually born, but, for example, on the day when the surviving twin was discharged home from the hospital. Others throw a party a few months after the actual birthday, after the sad memories that return every year leave them. Make it a tradition to get around the painful memories and fully celebrate the birthday of your surviving children, even if family members do not understand your problem. Many parents appreciate it when guests remember their deceased twins by name during the holiday. Parents themselves often include some kind of symbol in the celebration procedure, for example, an angel or butterfly on a cake, a minute of silence, reading a poem or prayer.

Intercession

You are your children's best protector. Insistently demand financial support, information, help from medical workers and understanding from the school. You will have to make a lot of calls and write a lot of letters, but persistence pays off. Determine the scope of work and highlight priority areas. Organize your activities: keep a list of necessary things to do and a calendar of medical procedures.

The sooner children with special needs begin receiving treatment, the better for them. If your senses indicate that your children have a problem, ask for appropriate tests or testing. Don't be misled by experts who cite "myths" that twins are always behind in motor development or normally start speaking later than singleborns. If you suspect a problem, discuss it with someone knowledgeable.

In communication situations, also stand up for your children. Friends and family have to be taught how to include your children in your company. Tell them in advance about your child's capabilities and challenges and invite them to interact with him, keeping in mind that your child is an individual first and his special needs second. Children with behavior problems get tired quickly in noisy, crowded places. Use common sense when planning outings and be prepared to leave long events if your children tire easily.

Education

Education is vital for your children. Separating a healthy twin and a twin with special needs from each other at school and daycare can be difficult for them. It is best to delay or limit separation where possible because the relationship between twins helps many of them cope with difficulties. Having a child visit his twin in another class allows children to ensure that when they are apart, each of them is in good hands. This also allows their classmates to see and accept the differences between the twins.

Make sure the school knows that your children are twins. Sometimes a teacher considers a child to be a singleton if his twin has died or is studying at another school. Teachers and psychologists responsible for the well-being of the child should have an understanding of the psychological characteristics of raising twins.

conclusions

From the book "Physical and mental development twins"

Two smiles, two souls,
And they are doubly cute!
How can we understand the two of them?
You need to know twice as much...

Surprise, joy, anxiety, double happiness, confusion, a feeling of unreality - these are only a small part of the feelings that arise from the news of expectation twins. And the story about the birth of twins will leave few people indifferent. Then the first time of care adaptations, double smiles and cries, a time of double frustrations and vivid impressions... And most likely after, the opportunity appears to want to understand their special world - the world of their twins. Their psychological characteristics will be discussed here.

External amazing similarity twins should not create the illusion of the identity of their psychological characteristics. Moreover, the relationship between such brothers, sisters, brothers and sisters is different from children of different ages of the same family. Taking these two aspects into account is extremely important for parents of twins.

The first thing that parents may encounter from the infancy of twins is the “syndrome of egging each other on” (escalation), with an increase in reactions and behavior: the crying of one “makes” the other scream even louder, the pampering of one preschooler may make the other want to do more "cooler"; in adulthood, it is easier for twins to create their own “duo of pranksters” for fantastic pranks (psychologists advise parents: patiently not to react to their provocations; try to separate the twins in space for a while, at least starting from a minute and adding one every year; try to distract from situations, based on the interests of age; at no age do not provoke a feeling of rivalry between twins either by word or deed, paying sufficient attention to each individually and approving each for their merits, it is necessary to convince children from the very beginning; early age that the parents’ attention is enough for both);

Twins tend to develop later speech activity, due to cryptophasia (the special language of the twins), as a result of the lack of incentive to communicate with those who “do not understand” them (and then a delay in the beginning of the use of related sentences, slow development of vocabulary, lack of monologues in speech), which, in our opinion scientists, and leads to unsociability and less development of other mental components, fatigue, failure (correction of the situation in better side can be expected by the age of 13-18); for opposite-sex twins, the onset of speech occurs faster, and in opposite-sex pairs the girl usually begins to speak earlier;

Surprisingly, according to research, the twin who is born first is more inclined in development to focus on one of the adults, showing more responsible, leadership, ambitious, and sometimes aggressive qualities, and the one who is born a little later will show more carelessness and gentleness, while being more cheerful and cheerful, but with a streak of stubbornness;

Our psychologists often note twins, especially identical twins, as having characteristics of timidity, low sociability with others and a high level of introversion, but Westerners believe that others are drawn to them, and they easily find a common language with them, because twins have very developed feelings of empathy;

- opposite-sex twins psychologists classify them in the category of future “ideal spouses”, where the girl will be a wife who has knowledge of male psychology and knows how to help a man, and boys will become understanding, gentle husbands;

For opposite-sex twins, there may be a situation where intrauterine hormones influence the development of opposite sexual characteristics (feminization of a boy and masculization of a girl);

Activity in behavior can be either the same (more often in identical twins), and quite different (more often in fraternal twins); in terms of behavioral style, they can be “observers, researchers” (they often do everything with permission, they typically develop more fine motor skills, accuracy, solve puzzles, but do not like activities with excessive effort), “independent” are distinguished by an alluring boundless curiosity, a wild desire for independence, “pioneers” will do everything to “try” the object of interest themselves, without noticing barriers and limits, with great activity fraught with bruises, contusions, etc.; at different levels of activity, on character general activities usually affects those who are more active in actions, which gives a prognosis for general level the activity of their “couple”;

Psychologists often divide pairs of twins into three main types: pairs of “closely related” (usually identical), pairs of “obvious individualists”, pairs of “moderate dependence” (the first category is characterized by inseparability, the sameness in almost all behavior, in communication with others, in interests - in this case, for the prosperous future of their children, parents will have to pay a lot of attention to the development of individuality; the second category is distinguished by children's fights and adult conflicts, the habit of acting “the other way around”, high competitiveness - parents are recommended to control and smooth out conflicting moments, teach them to live in harmony; the third category is always characterized by more sociable traits with the outside world, less emphasis on family relationships, self-sufficiency of individuals and the ability to have a prosperous position in a team that is independent of the second twin);

Adolescence often passes through conflict and crisis for a pair of twins due to the desire to emphasize their characteristics; for identical people, psychologists by the age of eighteen or twenty indicate greater success in renewing and even strengthening common relationships, while fraternal people can continue to distance their connections;

Geminis require an even greater emphasis in their upbringing and development on their individuality in order to prevent emotional problems in a future independent, separate life, to enable their development unique features, do not allow the sameness of desires that are false for one of them to take hold, imitation behavior and a sense of competition (it is worth starting with clothes, toys, activities that are different in appearance, but identical in value and quality, treatment as a separate person, find the possibility of communication between different parents and each child separately); one should not be allowed to resort to the attitude that their behavior and life should be the same;

Difficulties in punishment will certainly arise for parents, so it is recommended to separate spoiled children into different rooms to calm violent behavior; a manifestation of protection from punishment of one of them is noted, even if the defender is the victim; when snitching, it is worth punishing both, and not allowing this habit to develop; when punishing one of them, the second twin usually tries to take pity on him; make sure that the rules are absolutely the same for both children.

World twins can be learned endlessly. Fortunately, today many websites and forums have been created for such unusual parents, and a lot of attention is also paid to similar topics on general parenting forums and websites. A separate branch of science is highlighted - gemellology, which studies physiological, psychological, genetic and morphological characteristics. Moreover, the twins themselves all over the world strive for common unity, creating their own associations, unions, public organizations, with holding congresses, seminars and competitions. If you are happy parents of twins, then you are guaranteed a rich present and future, and they will not only contain difficulties, but also double joys and happiness.

Natalya Mazhirina

Almost all literature addressed to new parents is designed for the fact that they are raising one child. If there are more children in a family, then it is assumed that they of different ages. However, the birth of twins requires not only quantitative changes in budget planning, but also a qualitatively different approach to education. What nuances need to be taken into account?

Strict regime

If with one baby you can afford not to think about any schedule, adapting to the child’s natural rhythms, then a mother of twins has to experiment with different modes.

It is more convenient for some parents to feed or bathe their children at the same time, for others - one at a time, however ultimate goal choosing a schedule is for the convenience of the mother.

Despite the fact that many adults initially complain that babies take turns sleeping, over time they can be brought to a “common denominator.”

Management skills acquired in the first year of life will then be useful to parents more than once: when children begin to walk and move in opposite directions, when they begin to ask for different dishes for lunch, and so on.

Healthy selfishness

Being constantly together, playing with shared toys and seeing your own copy in front of you (if you have twins) is not an easy test. The lack of personal space complicates the development of individuality and leads to the formation of a generalized “we” instead of “I”.

Therefore, parents need to make sure that their children differ not only in their personal belongings, but also in their ways of spending leisure time and educational activities.

For example, while one child is visiting grandma, another goes with dad to the car wash.

When communicating with twins, it is important to emphasize their differences in temperament and character, while avoiding opposition and labeling. So, one child can be praised for his reaction speed, and another for his thoroughness and responsibility when making a decision.

Games in front of the mirror

Grimaces in front of the mirror and admiring yourself in different outfits are usually not encouraged by adults.

But for twins, such exploration of themselves and their differences from their brother or sister is an important stage development.

When one of the children is in front of the mirror, try to note out loud certain features of appearance or facial expressions, even if they are not obvious.

Not a children's company

What can we hide - it’s convenient for adults when children play together and don’t distract anyone. However, unlike one child, who can be left to play with peers for a long time without any negative consequences, the development of speech in friendly twins may slow down.

Being closed to each other, they get used to using words or sounds that only the two of them understand. A rich vocabulary and detailed phrases turn out to be unnecessary.

In order for all aspects of language to be in demand, twins need to communicate with adults more often.

A company of children can replace parents only if the twins find other interlocutors in it besides their brother or sister.

Speech development

Sometimes, in order to accumulate vocabulary and correctly produce sounds, it is not enough for twins to simply communicate with their parents. Since “twin” pregnancies and childbirth sometimes occur with complications, it is important to monitor the appearance of babbling in the very first months, and then monitor the pronunciation of words and the construction of phrases.

Parents should have audio fairy tales and thematic books in their arsenal aimed at expanding vocabulary (for example, dedicated to professions, modes of transport, fruits, clothes, etc.).

Particular attention should be paid to less active child of twins who, as a rule, begin to speak later and tend to repeat the mistakes of their brother or sister when pronouncing sounds and words.

Abandoning "we"

Young mothers often unconsciously use the pronoun “we” because they feel especially close to the baby and are completely absorbed in his needs, problems and achievements.

On the playground you hear every now and then: “We don’t like pumpkin puree” or “We’ll go on the swings.”

It is better for mothers of twins to avoid such formulations, since many babies already find it difficult to remember their names.

For example, one of the children can only respond to “Misha, Grisha!”, but not to “Misha!”

Teaming up not only with a brother or sister, but also with a mother further complicates the formation of a self-image.

Mediation

It may seem that twins have an easier time adapting to children's team than one child. However, this is not quite true.

Firstly, many twins have a lack of experience in communicating with other children due to the habit of playing with each other. Secondly, they may negatively perceive their peers’ desire to communicate with only one of them.

All people are different, this fact is not disputed by anyone. Their features, many believe, are somewhat determined by their date of birth. Aries or Leo, Scorpio or Taurus have something in common. Let's look at the character of Gemini. How do people born under this sign differ from others, what are their traits that influence their behavior and destiny? Interesting?

General information

Describing the character of Gemini is extremely difficult. It’s even difficult to pick them out from the crowd. The point is that they distinctive feature is versatility. Moreover, their essentially paired constellation gives them a constant This, of course, is not something like that. Due to constant dispute, a person born during the reign of Gemini calmly abandons some qualities or fundamental postulates and accepts others, often opposite ones. These personalities change beyond recognition. In general, it is generally accepted that they are smart and resourceful, inquisitive and agile. From this set grow their inconstancy and irresponsibility, which cannot be considered good qualities. However, it should be understood that the year of birth also leaves a certain imprint on a person. For example, Gemini Dragons are stubborn and hot-tempered people. They care about the external effect of their actions. They don't care much about the logic of the life line. Nevertheless, all Geminis are united by quick thinking, the ability to develop their own approach to understanding the world around them, the ability to maneuver and find unexpected solutions.

and positioning

When considering the character of Gemini, it is necessary not only to look inside, but also to look at how the person wants to appear to others. We all live in individual patterns. Geminis differ from other signs in that they can change them depending on the circumstances. Astrologers say that communication with these individuals is not always pleasant. The character of Gemini is not conducive to radiating heat. They are often cold and unapproachable. Naturally, such behavior for no apparent reason discourages others. Those close to you get used to these nuances. After all, coldness does not mean a negative attitude. This is how people of this sign defend their own independence. Simply put, they are afraid of getting too close to another person. It should be understood that Geminis are not bored anyway, they are a couple (inside). Why also external load on the brain? The described feature is perfectly demonstrated by the Gemini guy. A young man can envelop the girl he likes in such ice that she Snow Queen will transform instantly. But the point is that the young man does not yet know how to deal with his complex traits, to control them. The character of Gemini is difficult not only for those around them. They themselves have a hard time. You need to work on yourself more than other signs.

How do Geminis behave in society?

What cannot be taken away from people of this sign is eloquence. They generally not only love to talk, but also handle the process with skill. Oratory it's in their blood. Gemini-Dragons especially stand out in this. They are constantly in search of new interesting topics, audiences, and forms of presenting material. They should be engaged in broadcasting the truth to the world - it will become more beautiful and purer. One drawback spoils this enchanting one-man show. Geminis often turn out to be bad listeners. They interrupt slower-thinking people and often treat them as stupid. If you don't control yourself, you can be left without an audience. People would rather be left without interesting story, so as not to come under fire from the “smart guy”. Geminis are advised to cultivate tolerance, be more restrained and kinder. Indeed, the Universe has awarded them with such ingenuity that it is difficult for other signs to keep up with them. Show mercy. After all, you, dear Gemini, have your shortcomings!

Leadership skills

One could state that the sign in question does not have such, and end the review of the issue. But there is a certain nuance that Gemini and their grateful listeners must take into account. It is enclosed in a certain mission that the Universe has entrusted to the representatives of our sign. They are considered "the mouthpieces of the Gods." This quality manifests itself rarely, but, so to speak, aptly. It all happens as follows. A person under the influence of our sign speaks a lot and willingly. They listen to him with pleasure, but not as a leader, but as an equal. However, in his speech there are thoughts or ideas that sink into the soul of some listeners. The person then not only thinks about an interesting aspect or fact. Based on the results of this internal work his whole destiny may change. It is especially recommended to listen when Gemini Monkey speaks. After all, the year of birth gives these people special powers of observation. They weave their ideas into rhetoric, which can be useful for others. And intuitive insights with this combination of signs happen more often; their depth simply amazes the thoughtful listener.

Gemini's mission to the world

You cannot consider a person’s character without ignoring his higher purpose. And everyone has it. Listen to what your friend Gemini Monkey is saying, feel it with everyone. The purpose of our sign is very important. Gemini is a spirit, essentially. They came to earth to connect the higher and the material. They should think more often about how exactly they influence ordinary life. With their behavior and decisions, these people change reality, elevating it as much as possible. The internal state of these people is elusive and ephemeral, but powerful and effective. For example, a Gemini guy is capable of making a queen out of any ugly girl by falling in love with her. The young lady's appearance will not change in any way, but she will begin to feel like the ruler of the Universe! The same is the influence of any representative of the sign on married events. He spiritualizes them, which is worth a lot.

Attitude to life

One more important characteristic Any person is how he builds his destiny. In this sense, it is extremely important for Geminis to avoid any kind of stagnation. They need constant movement. This is related to their mission. The spirit cannot stop; immediate degradation begins. Falling into despair, Gemini quickly falls ill. Their strength simply melts away, like ice in a hot desert. They need constant nourishment, consisting of a new challenge, soil for filling with meaning. Naturally, there are some differences due to the influence of the year. So, Gemini-Snake live somewhat slower. They penetrate deeper into events with their thoughts. They need more time to change. But their influence is more global than others.

Health

These people are usually attentive to their condition, which is due to the unprecedented circulation of energy in their subtle bodies. They constantly process a lot of information without realizing it. To recuperate, they need a strong, healthy, restful sleep. These people also find extremely useful limited physical exercise. But they are not recommended to go to sports. The exception is the Gemini Rat. And even those demonstrate more abilities and talents in mental exercises. Geminis are never known for their iron health. But they only get seriously ill in rare moments of depression. It is advisable to prevent this situation. It will be very difficult to get out. If the inner spirit begins to degrade and stops fertilizing space with ideas, then a person will easily slide into alcoholism or worse.

Relationships with other signs

In fact, representatives of the sign do not have any particular difficulties in communication. Gemini and Pisces interact very well. They always have something to discuss. In addition, Gemini interacts well with Capricorn and Sagittarius in business sphere. But they should not be entrusted with tedious digging through documents. It is better to entrust organizational issues and advertising to them. In the latter, Geminis are considered aces. Friendship with Scorpio can be important in the lives of people born under the sign described. This friend will lower Gemini, who is always in the clouds, down to the sinful earth, stimulating him to rational activity. However, things between them often end badly. Scorpio gets tired of Gemini's moralizing and impulses. After a certain period, he will try to push the unpleasant partner off the wagon. Such an event will harm Gemini not so much financially as emotionally. Representatives of the sign are not recommended to experience stress that arises on the initiative of those they trust. Therefore, they should be especially careful when choosing partners. Well, in love, no one suits each other as well as Gemini and Pisces. They subconsciously build their own special world, incomprehensible to others. It's warm and cozy for both of you. And the occasional guest gets the opportunity to plunge into the cloud of calm serenity of a love idyll.

Conclusion

When studying the character of any person, you should look into his soul. Behavior is born of internal postulates and principles, for the most part depending on the constellation under which the person incarnated on our planet!