A little over a year back at my close friend Irina died Native sister. It so happened that I was not around then. I could help Ira only with advice, and even then from afar. But now all memorial events on the Anniversary we organized together.
Irina Galya was very fond of. The sisters, despite the significant difference in age, were very close. Therefore, my friend really wanted to do everything right, as it should. In order not to be mistaken in anything, we read a mountain of literature on how to commemorate the deceased, so that his soul would feel good in another world, and it would be easier for those who remained close to him here. The information we collected was different. Some of what I read shocked me a little with its frank, excuse me, obscurantism.
A lot of things came in very handy, thanks to which Galina's years were spent in a bright, good atmosphere. Irina, even after I admitted that she herself felt much better in her soul. After anniversary, she was able to come to terms with the thought that her sister had left so early. These feelings of hers gave me the idea to once again address here, in my blog, to the topic commemoration - on this time on the anniversary of death .
As they remember lateryear
In fact, the custom is to commemorate deceased loved ones in certain days itself is very, very old. It goes back to the time when people worshiped the ancestral and tribal spirits, and all the dead were considered the patrons of the family. Therefore, our ancestors escorted the souls of their dead to another world with all possible respect andon thethey tried to feed them properly on a long journey. For this, food and drink (including intoxicated ones) were left on the graves, and in special days after death, lavish feasts were celebrated. Burials at this time turned into places of rich and cheerful feasts in honor of the departed. People drank, ate, competed in prowess, even sang and danced. All this was done so that the dead could see how they were loved and appreciated by the living. pagan rites later condemned Christian Church as blasphemous. Ask any priest about how you can and should commemorate the deceased, and he will tell you: this should be done not at the table, but in the temple or with a prayer in front of home icons. But a strict ban on commemoration The Church still does not impose food.
But the days when Christians remember the soul of the departed, in Christian tradition compared with the pagan have changed. Deceased at first commemorate on the third, ninth and fortieth days afterdemise. These lines are symbolic:
3rd day symbolizes Holy Trinity and the resurrection of the Savior three days after of death . It is believed that it is on the 3rd day that the soul of the newly deceased for the first time ascends to the Lord's Throne.
9th day laid in honor of nine angelic ranks. Angels ask the Lord to forgive human sins.
40 days considered necessary to prepare the soul for the new grace. That is how long the fast of Moses lasted before his Sinai conversation with the Heavenly Father. 40 days have passed from the day of death until the ascension of Jesus. And the soul of any person on the The 40th day ascends again to the Throne of the Lord, so that her fate will be decided there according to the earthly affairs of man.
Anniversary
of death symbolizes the annual liturgical circle. It is believed that after year after the end of the soul finally ascends on the Heaven and connects with other departed in the higher realms. On the ground years become the final farewell to the deceased for all his loved ones. And for the most deceased, this day is a new birth for eternal life
. Unless, of course, he was a believer. For the commemoration It is our custom to approach the anniversary of death with all seriousness. Traditionally, the whole family gathers for them, many come from afar. And, I want to note, this is really, first of all, a family affair. On the funerals, forties, it is customary to come without an invitation. BUT on the years - no. Only relatives are called(and not necessarily all) and really close friends. Neighbors, acquaintances and just lovers, it is not necessary to notify about this. If someone comes unexpectedly, then the family itself thinks whether to put him at the memorial table or not.
Ira and I had to solve a very delicate issue of transferring commemoration for several days. The anniversary fell on Wednesday - weekdays, many work, cannot come. I had to postpone everything until the next Saturday, including a visit to the cemetery, because Irina, too, on Wednesday could not even take a day off. On this subject, I even had to consult with the priest of our parish in advance. He dispelled all our doubts: You can endure years, and sometimes you even need to. This is especially true for the memorial table, which, from the church point of view, is not at all necessary to cover. After all, in fact, you need to remember with prayer, alms and kind words. The feast is rather a tribute to paganism, the same feasts. So the question of when everyone will gather for a common meal is not at all fundamental.
But prayers for the repose of the soul can be organized in advance so that they will fall just onthe right day. At the same time, it is not that it is impossible, but very it is undesirable to commemorate the dead on Easter and Holy Week, it's better to move it all on the Rainbow. If the anniversary falls on the Christmas Eve, the service is usually ordered on the eighth of January. On other days, nothing will prevent someone close from taking care of the funeral service in advance.
To the temple to order a commemoration
on the Litour 
it is better to come in advance - sometime on the eve or in the morning on the day of the anniversary itself, in order to have time to do everything for the evening service. Ira and I not only ordered mass, but also lit candles for Galya and prayed ourselves for the repose of her soul. And even earlier, in about ten days, they took care of Sorokoust.By the way, home prayer is also a powerful thing. If someone cannot go to church, then it is not bad to light a candle or lamp at home and turn to the Lord with prayers for the departed. Such sacred texts there are a lot of them, they are necessarily included in the Prayer Books, so it is not difficult to find the right ones. For example, I like these two prayers - one about specific person, the other is about everyone who died. I usually read them one after another (although from a piece of paper).
- God, merciful Lord, remembering the anniversary of deathyour servant (full Christian name) we ask You, honor him (her) place in Your Kingdom, grant blessed rest and enter into the radiance of Your glory.
Lord, look graciously at our prayers for the soul of your servant (full Christian name), whose anniversary of deathwe remember; we ask you to count him (her) to the host of your saints, grant forgiveness of sins and eternal rest. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
- Give rest, Lord, to the souls of your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.
Anyone who knows how this is done can hold a lithium (this is a short rite of requiem) - at home or on the grave. This part Orthodox service can be done by a layman, not just a priest.
For Russian Orthodox Church the rites of burial and commemoration of the deceased are very important. Christians believe that after death the human soul leaves the body, but does not die, but goes to the Kingdom of God. Therefore, the Orthodox Church points to the great importance of commemoration. Thus, people pay tribute to the deceased - brother, friend, husband, father, mother, pray for the repose of his soul, for the forgiveness of sins.
When the dead are remembered
After the death of a person, his remains are buried in the earth. There the body rests until the general resurrection comes - the second coming of Jesus Christ, who will execute judgment on mankind. But even after the funeral, the church will not stop caring for the soul of the deceased. She prays for the repose of the soul and offers the Bloodless Sacrifice.
Russian traditions include special memorial days - the third, ninth and fortieth. They are supposed to be counted from the day a person dies - the day of death will be the first. Remembrance these days is an ancient church custom.
In the first two days human soul stays on the ground. During this period of time with the Angel, she passes through those places that beckon her to earthly memories: joy, grief, good or evil deeds.
All this time, the sinful soul, which cannot wean itself from the body, wanders around its earthly abode. She, like a bird, is looking for a nest. If the soul is virtuous, it sees the places where good deeds took place, which brings peace. On the third day, she ascends to the Kingdom of God and worships the Lord.
9 days
On the ninth day, the soul, together with the Angel, reaches the gates of heaven and enjoys the inexpressible beauty of the surrounding world. She remains in this state for 6 days. Per given period the soul forgets about the sorrow that she experienced in the body and 2 days after leaving it.
If she is sinful, then sorrow will not disappear. The soul reproaches itself that, being in human form, it spent its life wrong and did not serve the Lord. On the 9th day, God will again call her to worship. Before the Almighty, she experiences fear and trembling.
After that, the Angels show hell to the soul. There she contemplates the torment and suffering of sinners.
40 days
On the fortieth day, the soul again goes to worship God. At this stage, its fate is being decided, depending on the affairs that took place on earth.
Therefore, it is important to hold a commemoration these days and continuously read prayers in order to forever repose the soul of the newly deceased.
Anniversary
The Church performs prayers in the year of death (anniversary, 1 year from the date of death). Priests say that it is enough to mark this date with a heartfelt commemoration. This means that it is not necessary to make gatherings with relatives.
The Church has established more days on which the deceased person is commemorated - parent Saturdays, universal dirges:
- Meat Saturday. On this day, all family members are commemorated, especially if they died suddenly.
- Trinity Saturday. Pray for the forgiveness of the sins of the living and the dead. Saint Basil the Great emphasizes that the Lord also accepts prayers for the dead who are in hell.
- 2, 3, 4 Saturdays of the Holy Fortecost- days of Great Lent. The Church calls to be close in love with the living and the dead.
- Radonitsa. Praying for the deceased relative should be on Tuesday after the end of St. Thomas' week. On this day, the relatives of the deceased come to his grave to tell about the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Walking to the cemetery is allowed by the Church on the first day of Easter. On the other days of this bright holiday, no commemoration is held.
About whether or not a commemoration is made for six months from the date of death, it is worth saying that it is not necessary, but this is practiced in many families. In the morning, 17 kathismas are read in front of the icon, a lit candle and a photograph of the deceased. Then you need to go to the temple, order the Bloodless Sacrifice, commemorate at the proskomedia, make a donation. Next, defend the memorial service, put a candle for the rest and purchase another one.
Then they go to the grave of the deceased, light a candle bought in the church and read a prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased. Upon request, a funeral table is organized.
As for 20 days from the date of death, they don’t arrange a special commemoration at this time, although the ancestors thought differently. It turns out that on the 20th day people went to the cemetery to the grave of the deceased in order to call him to the meeting. The ceremony was performed before sunset. The deceased was invited for common table special prayers and conspiracies.
The day before, various dishes were prepared: pies, jelly. The relatives of the deceased did not sit at the table. Food was prepared only for the deceased. In the process of preparation, prayers were sung, memorial verses were recited. Then in the evening the deceased was escorted out of the house, reading prayers and saying farewell words.
Is it possible to celebrate earlier or later
Often the date of the wake falls on a religious or other holiday, on a weekday, when preparation is almost impossible (work, urgent matters, and so on). This raises the question of whether it is possible to postpone the date of the commemoration, to do them in advance or later.
Priests believe that it is impossible to arrange a memorial meal on the anniversary of death if it is:
- the week of Easter;
- Holy Week;
- Christmas Eve - January 7, it is better to postpone the date of the commemoration a day later - on January 8, this is a good sign.
It is impossible to transfer the commemoration on one's own initiative. There are special days for this. But you can go to the temple and pray for the deceased in the church, put a candle for the repose on any day.
If the date of mourning falls on Sunday or Monday, this does not act as an obstacle to commemoration. The Church says that you can pray for the dead on any day of the week, so long as it does not fall on major Christian holidays.
But on the question of how the birthday of the deceased is celebrated, there is a different opinion. It is believed that remembering the soul of a person on the day of his earthly birth, relatives attract it back to its former existence, preventing it from gaining peace. Therefore, this day is not celebrated. The deceased should be remembered only on the date when his soul departed to another world, that is, on the third day of his birth.
Preparing for the Year of Death
Preparing for an anniversary is very important. You need to invite only those people whom the ever-memorable one definitely wanted to see at the table.
Do not focus on decorating the room. Enough order, silence and a photograph of the deceased in a conspicuous place, tied with a black ribbon. Candles are lit nearby and icons are placed.
Relatives of the deceased should stock up on sweets. You need to treat everyone whom the deceased knew well. During the transmission, they are asked to remember the deceased with a kind word and wish him the Kingdom of God.
On the anniversary of death, the things of the deceased are distributed to the poor and needy people.
How to dress properly
Clothing is of no small importance. Women should not forget to take a headscarf with them. Clothing style is also important. No bright colors - only black, gray and brown colors. No shorts, skirts above the knees, deep necklines, dresses with bare shoulders should also not be. In clothes and shoes, strictness and closeness are welcome.
Prayer
On the anniversary of death, the words of kathisma No. 17 are said, which is read only on the days of commemoration of the departed. It's called "memorial". It is especially important to say kathisma on the third, ninth and fortieth days after the death of a person. It consists of a troparion and psalm 118.
Reading is not trusted to another person for a fee or other reward. Prayer will be stronger, more powerful, purer and sincere if it is pronounced by its native and close person- this is tantamount to the fact that the deceased himself asks for mercy from the Lord.
Kathisma No. 17 reflects the bliss of righteous Christians who tried to live according to the laws of God. Psalm No. 118 says that life on earth is a journey, a journey that is made by a person to achieve the Fatherland and eternal residence.
Rather, in last words we are talking not about earthly life, but afterlife. Therefore, from this phrase we can conclude: the existence of a person on earth is a kind of preparation for the afterlife next to the Lord, to which only the righteous path leads, the observance of God's commandments. And if they are followed strictly, then the soul, after parting with the body, will never get lost and reach paradise.
The relatives of the deceased should pray daily 40 days after death and 40 days before the anniversary. Only the Psalter for the dead is read.
How much time to say prayer words is decided by the person himself. If there is not enough time, one kathisma per day can be dispensed with.
What is ordered in the church
To commemorate a deceased person in church should be as often as possible and not necessarily only on set days. Among the services that need to be defended, there is a prayer for the repose of the dead, which is performed in the temple at the Divine Liturgy. For this, a bloodless sacrifice is offered to Jesus Christ.
In order to perform the ceremony, it is necessary to submit a note to the church with the name of the deceased in advance (early in the morning before the start of the liturgy, or the night before) - only those who have been baptized in the Orthodox Church can be entered there.
At the proskomedia (the first part of the liturgy, preparation for the Eucharist), pieces of bread (prosphora) are broken off. Then they are dipped into a cup of red wine: they are washed by the Blood of the Son of God. The rite has powerful power and this is the maximum that relatives can do for the deceased person.
When ordering a Bloodless Sacrifice, at the top of the note should be Orthodox cross with eight ends. Further, it is indicated for what purposes the rite is performed (“for the repose”). The name of the deceased is written capital letters, legibly and necessarily in genitive case(if this is a child, then the word “baby” is indicated next to it). Names are indicated only in the church interpretation: Artyom - Artemy, Lyuba - Love, Alexei - Alexy and so on. When submitting a note, relatives make a donation for the needs of the temple.
Prayer for the departed will be more effective if those who read it themselves take communion and confess.
After the end of the liturgy, a memorial service should be served. It is performed before the eve - a table on which a crucifix is depicted and a row of candlesticks is located.
It is very important after a loved one has died and on the anniversary of death, order a magpie in the church. This is an uninterrupted commemoration for forty days after the liturgy. When finished, you can order again. There are also long periods of remembrance - 6 months, 1 year, 3 years, 5, 10 years, as well as eternal commemoration (while the temple is standing). You can order magpies in several Orthodox Churches.
Cemetery visit
In the first half of the day you need to go to the cemetery. It is better to do this after visiting the temple. You can invite a priest to the grave. He will perform the rite of lithium and read the akathist. The ceremony performed is an important part of the commemoration, in which all sins are forgiven the deceased.
Relatives who came to the grave should say kind words, mentally apologize for bad deeds and deeds.
Be sure to bring fresh flowers. No food, alcohol, crumbs, cigarettes. This is a sign of paganism. It is better to bring candles, lamps. The Orthodox Church forbids eating at the grave and consuming alcoholic drinks. This is also a pagan rite.
On the anniversary of death, clean up the grave of the deceased, plant trees - birch, thuja, needles or viburnum.
memorial dinner
Relatives decide how to commemorate the deceased at the table. You need to cook more dishes than the declared number of guests. This is important if an uninvited colleague or forgotten by relatives comes to the commemoration. old friend deceased.
As for the memorial table, this moment is also very important. In some families, the commemoration turns into an extra reason to meet with relatives, discuss pressing problems, eat, and so on. However, Christians at the table pray for the repose of the deceased and nothing more.
Before eating, they spend lithium - a short memorial service. If there is no time for this, you should at least read Psalm No. 90 and the Our Father.
The first and main dish at the wake is kutia (it is also mandatory). The grains present in this dish symbolize the resurrection of the soul, and honey and raisins are the delight of the righteous in afterlife.
Kutia must necessarily be consecrated with a special rite. If this is not possible, sprinkle the dish with sacred water.
Alcoholic beverages, including wine, are not allowed on the table. The latter personifies earthly joy, therefore it is not allowed to drink it at the commemoration. Even the addiction of the deceased to alcohol should not be an exception.
No need to cook too colorful dishes. This indicates the desire of the hostess to stand out, to demonstrate culinary qualities. A commemoration is a constant thought and memory of the deceased, good deeds, deeds native person. Therefore, it is better, in addition to kutya, to cook:
- pancakes;
- pies;
- jelly;
- borsch;
- noodles;
- pickles;
- meat cut.
In some families, the custom is welcome when a piece of black bread is placed on the table over a glass filled with vodka. This rite has nothing to do with Orthodoxy.
Funerals are held in the morning.
Why it is impossible to remember the dead at night is due to the fact that thinking about them before going to bed, a person attracts their soul back to earth. In addition, the deceased may appear in a dream, which will cause nightmares.
Words for a deceased person
A speech in memory of a deceased person is delivered at the memorial table and alone with relatives. It is allowed to give a wish to the family of the deceased, written in a postcard.
Option 1
The speech may be: “Condolences to you and your family from the bottom of my heart. Your mother (father, brother, etc.) was a good man. We will miss her. I sincerely wish you to find peace and comfort. We will pray for you and your family."
Option 2
In prose: “Friends, today we have gathered to honor the memory of a person dear to us. There was a time when we, together with the deceased, sat at the same table, rejoiced, discussed last news. Today we mourn with you and see him off to last way. We will forever keep the memory of our friend in our hearts. Let's remember him with a kind word."
Option 3
“Dear (names), we deeply regret the death of your grandfather. He was a wonderful person, a role model, an assistant in difficult cases. It is the cleanest, kindest and open man of those we have ever known. We mourn with you. We wish you to recover faster after the loss. If you need help, we are always ready to provide support.”
Option 4
Funeral words in verse.
When our parents leave us
Then the light in the window fades,
The father's house is empty
And maybe I dream more often.
Option 5
We know you can't be brought back
Your deeds are eternal memory,
And only your pure soul is with us,
And you light up our life path.
Option 6
Thank you, dear, that you lived in this world,
Thank you for loving me with your heart
Thank you for the years we've been together
I want you not to forget me.
Relatives can order an obituary in the newspaper - a message about the death of a person with short biography and epitaphs on the monument.
How to give charity
As Tobit said when instructing his son: "Give for the repose of the souls of the righteous, not sinners." But Christian love is boundless and destroys the boundaries set by the righteous. The Church advises to give alms even for those who have committed suicide. And the heavier the sins of the deceased, the more alms the relatives make.
It is useful if on the day of the anniversary of death to give alms to the poor with a request to pray for the deceased person. Usually they carry clothes, food, sweets. Exception - meat, alcoholic beverages (in addition to red church wine).
There is another kind of charity - spiritual. Few people remember her now. it good word, advice, parting words, compassion, condolences. If it is impossible to provide material assistance, you can simply pray for the person. This is spiritual charity. At the same time, it is not necessary to make a specific request in prayer, God knows who needs what. You need to ask for mercy and forgive the sins of the needy.
Wake - a ritual performed to honor the memory of the deceased. The basis of the commemoration is a joint meal arranged by loved ones in the house of the deceased person, or in the dining room.
Commemoration is carried out:
- on the day of death;
- three days after death - the day of the funeral, when the soul goes to another world;
- on the ninth day;
- on the fortieth day;
- a memorial meal is arranged six months after the death, and after that for all further anniversaries.
As usual, relatives or close people of the deceased come to the funeral. It is important to remember that it is impossible to drive away those who came to honor the memory of the deceased. As a rule, commemorations are organized not for guests and not for the sake of a feast, but in order to remember the deceased, to pray for his repose. It is especially important to read a prayer for the deceased before the memorial meal. Priests advise reading the seventeenth Kathisma from the Psalter and the prayer "Our Father" before starting to eat.
Wake date shift
It happens that the memorial day falls on religious holiday, or on working days, when it is not possible to leave work, in connection with the preparation of everything necessary for the funeral meal. As a result, the question arises: is it possible to postpone the date of commemoration?
The priests believe that the meal can be arranged earlier or later exact date death. In the presence of good reasons, interfering with a memorial dinner, you should keep a landmark, the first duty, is on them. However, if not good reasons in order to postpone the memorial meal to another day, it is better not to do this, because the afterlife has its own rules. On this day, it is better to focus on good deeds, for example, distribute memorial treats to people in need.
Memorials should not be held during Happy Easter and holy week Great post. In these weeks, everything is rushing towards the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, as well as the news of his return to life. Therefore, if the date allotted for memorial dinner, coincides with these periods, it is best to move the memorial meal to the day of Radonitsa - the day when the dead are commemorated.
If the day of commemoration falls on the eve of the Christmas holidays, it would be more correct if the commemoration is moved to January 8th. Such an event is taken as good omen, because the commemoration is dedicated to the event of birth in an endless life in another world.
Priests also recommend remembering that the deceased, in the first place, should be prayed for. Therefore, the day before the memorial meal, it is recommended to order the Liturgy for the burial of the Soul of the deceased and the Panikhida for the memorial day. And the memorial meal can be postponed to one of the first days off of subsequent anniversaries of death. However, it is not advisable to postpone the commemoration, arranged on the fortieth day after the repose, for an early date.
Memorial Day
In every religion for memorial day a certain date is set aside when relatives, or just close people, commemorate the deceased. If, due to urgent circumstances, it was not possible to honor the memory of close deceased people on the day of their death, this must be done on the memorial day.
- In the Orthodox faith, the memorial day is Tuesday of the second week after Easter. However, this is not the only day when you can remember relatives. In addition to Radonitsa, five more days are allocated for the memory of the dead;
- In Catholic belief, the memorial day falls on November 2. Commemoration on the third, seventh and thirtieth days may not suit;
- In the religion of Islam the main task- remember the deceased with prayer, do good deeds on his behalf: help orphans, poor people. In this religion, it does not matter at all on what day after the repose of the soul a memorial meal will be arranged. It is important that no one should know in whose name these acts are being performed;
- In Buddhism, the day of obedience - the festival of Ulamban - falls on the first half of the seventh month of the lunar calendar.
Everyone knows that people who have gone to another world should be remembered, but not often people understand the purpose for which this should be done. Do not forget that the connection between the living and the dead exists. Therefore, after the death of a person, his relatives are restless, in their souls there is anxiety and sadness, they often dream of the dead who ask for food or provide them with some kind of help.
It is generally accepted that after such dreams a person should pray, visit the temple, do some good deed (help the poor, orphans). All this benevolence has a good effect on the souls of the dead. If it is not possible to arrange a memorial service on the appointed day, do not be upset. You can leave a note to the clergyman, and he will carry it out himself.
The spiritual state of a person also influences the state of the deceased in the afterlife, in another world in order to help them. To do this, one should begin to change, first of all, oneself and the society around oneself. To begin with, it would be nice to get rid of bad habits, forgive all your offenders, not harbor evil on them, start praying, visiting churches, reading the Bible, helping others and orphans.
During the commemoration, one should remember the purpose, a kind of ritual. Saying a common prayer, it is better to ask the Lord God to endow the deceased with the Kingdom of Heaven and rest his soul.
The loss of loved ones is always a great sorrow. Relatives want to see a person on his last journey with all honors. After the funeral, it is customary for the Orthodox to hold a commemoration. In addition to the memorial table, you need to visit the church and order a prayer service. You can commemorate the deceased at any time, but according to church customs, the commemoration of the deceased should be carried out nine days, forty days, six months after death, a year.
Is it possible to make a memorial before the date death, what to celebrate. The commemoration of the deceased, according to the Charter of the Orthodox Church, should not take place before the time of death. Therefore, it is impossible to remember in advance. There are days when it is obligatory to mark the memorial.
In addition to the days listed, you need to visit the temple during the year, read a prayer for repose, give alms, distribute food to those in need.
According to the church charter, every believer needs to know about the commemoration for 1 year and the rules for holding them. This is due to the fact that the soul must find a place and not rush between heaven and earth. If it is not possible to hold a commemoration on the date of death, then a late commemoration can be held. If this day fell on a Monday, you can move it to the next Sunday. There are other rules of commemoration.
The commemoration of the dead in Orthodoxy implies a constant remembrance of a person. It is especially good if the words are spoken aloud. Anyone can contact the church to order a prayer service, but it is better if close relatives do it: dad, mom or children.
When commemorating at dinner, you need to put a glass of water on the table, covered with bread. It's meant for the dead. Usually people are not invited to the commemoration, everyone comes own will. Anything you want can be on the table. But there must be kutia - church porridge, with which the commemoration begins. You can cook the food that the deceased loved.
When contacting church ministers, relatives of the deceased ask whether it is possible to commemorate the deceased on his birthday. You can commemorate, the term of commemoration is not limited. On your birthday, you can visit the grave, put flowers and candles. In the church, order a prayer for the repose of the soul.
How to remember an unbaptized person
After the birth of a child, usually on the 40th day of his life, a rite of baptism is performed. But it also happens that in childhood a child was not baptized, he himself did not make a decision about baptism in his life. In this case, the person has not united himself with the church, and everything remains at the discretion of the Lord. An unbaptized person is not commemorated in the church and they do not order mass for him. Funerals are held in the circle of relatives and friends. You can bring flowers, candles to the grave, but they don’t read a prayer here. The correct remembrance is a guarantee that the deceased in the next world will be fine.
Commemoration of the dead. Is it necessary to commemorate the deceased every day? Is it possible to remember earlier or later? When and why?
- They commemorate on the 3rd day, the 9th day, the 40th day, and the year from death, they also commemorate on the days of his earthly birth, on the days of his name day (the day of memory of the saint whose name he bore). 3,9,40 days usually mark the same day, and the anniversary, if you can’t, for example, you work on that day, you can remember three days before the date. According to the folk tradition, you can’t celebrate your birthday earlier, but you can commemorate it. Now why do we celebrate the 3rd day, because the main thing is not the table that we set and what is on this table, the main thing is PRAYER. According to the scriptures (When on the third day there is a commemoration in the Church for the soul of the deceased, then the soul of the deceased receives from the guarding Angel relief in sorrow, which it feels from separation from the body, it receives because the doxology and offering in the Church of God for it is done, from which in good hope is born from it, for in the course of two days the soul, together with the angels who are with it, is allowed to walk the earth wherever it wants.On the third day, He Who Himself rose from the dead on the 3rd day, commands, in imitation of His Resurrection, to ascend to the soul on Heaven for worshiping the God of all. felt while in the body and after leaving it.But if she is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the accretions of the saints, she begins to grieve and reproach herself - Alas for me! fussed about this in the world? Alas, poor me! After six days, the soul is again ascended by the Angels to worship God. After the second worship, the Lord of all orders to take the desha to hell and show her the places of torment located there, the different sections of hell and the various torments of impure sinful people. According to these different places the torment of the soul is worn for thirty days (from the 9th to the 40th) trembling so that she, too, will not be imprisoned in them. On the fortieth day, she again ascends to God, and now the Judge determines a place of detention appropriate for her deeds.
- Yes, when you want to remember, but if you want - do not remember at all. He doesn't care anymore. Wake needed more themes who remembers, because remembering the dead, they, in fact, remember themselves at a time when he was still alive.
- According to the teaching of the Holy Orthodox Church, all believers in the Lord Jesus Christ do not die, but live forever. "Whoever lives and believes in Me will never die" (John 11:26). Therefore, dying Orthodox Christians do not cease to be members of the Holy Church, maintaining prayerful communion with all the rest of her children.
Anyone who wishes to show his love for the dead and give them real help maybe the best way make it a prayer for them and, in particular, the submission of a note for commemoration at the Divine Liturgy. We cannot do anything better or more for them. They always need this... (Arch. John (Maximovich)).
For prayers for the dead, a special day has been appointed in the week of Saturday, on which the funeral service is due (except for holidays, if they happen on this day).
Love for dead relatives imposes on us, who are now alive, a sacred duty to pray for the salvation of their souls. According to Priest Nikolai Uspensky, ...by praying for deceased relatives, we bring them the only good that their souls crave, mercy from the Lord.
From ancient times there is a custom to make a commemoration of each deceased on the third, ninth and fortieth days after his death, as well as to make magpies. Sorokoust is a continuous commemoration for 40 days after death.Also, the annual day of death, birthday and name day is dedicated to the remembrance of the deceased, in the sense that the deceased is alive and immortal in spirit and will someday be completely renewed when the Lord raises up his body.
In addition to participating in funeral services, the Holy Church commands her children to commemorate the dead and home prayer. Here every worshiper is given some freedom to exercise personal diligence. In addition to evening and morning prayers monks and laity read the commemoration book, making a commemoration by name of the living and the dead. In addition, there is ancient custom read the psalter for the dead. At home prayer, with the blessing of the confessor, a commemoration can also be made of those who cannot be commemorated at church service- their relatives and friends who died outside the fence of the Orthodox Church - unbaptized, heretics, etc. The Optina elders allowed even suicides to be commemorated at home prayers.
In addition to praying for the dead, another act of commemoration of them is almsgiving. By alms is meant not only giving to the poor in memory of the deceased, but any kindness in relation to those in need.
Saint John Chrysostom said: A luxurious burial is not love for the dead, but vanity. If you want to condole with the deceased, I will show you a different way of burial and teach you to put on robes, decorations worthy of him and glorifying him: this is almsgiving.
- You can, of course, not the same day, but the change in the body will take place exactly on the day when it is supposed to. Wake is usually done three times, in accordance with the change in the body of the deceased (on the third day the image changes, on the ninth day the body disintegrates, on the fortieth the heart decays). On the ninth and fortieth days, relatives of the deceased are expected to visit the cemetery and organize a funeral home meal.
- You can pray any day, we have days, weeks, years .... and then eternity! It is simply customary to remember especially the deceased on the day of his death, but this does not mean that it is impossible on another day.
- Just remember it...
- Alcohol is a great deceiver! An insidious drink first makes a man cheerful, and then an alcoholic and impotent. Even more tragic happens to a woman. From a cute creature, she turns into a disgusting creature. Luckily, female alcoholism easier to treat than men.
