How to increase self-esteem in a woman: advice from a psychologist. Improving self-esteem

How to improve self-esteem in a man? We will talk about this in our article. It's no secret that low self-esteem often causes many problems. Therefore, it is often referred to as a disadvantage. If we talk about men, then in their case, lack of confidence in their abilities prevents them from taking serious steps in their careers, prevents them from opening, for example, their own business, achieving their beloved lady and simply being successful and famous.

There is an interesting fact that self-esteem in men is much higher than in women.

There is a study by London scholars on this topic. British psychologists on a special scale tested more than two thousand people of both sexes from different countries of the world and found that males tend to think of themselves much better than females. This does not mean that the former overestimate their capabilities. It's just that women tend to feel much more inferior.

Psychologists are sure that such a problem as low self-esteem can and should be dealt with. Just how to do it? How to increase self-esteem and confidence in a man? There are many effective ways to overcome self-doubt. The most popular of them are sports and interesting hobbies.

Sometimes self-doubt appears due to the fact that a man does not feel attractive enough in the eyes of the opposite sex. Sports activities will not only allow you to ventilate your head, forgetting for a while about work and household problems, but also make your own body more athletic, as well as recharge with energy and positivity.

Interesting hobbies also have a positive effect on self-esteem. Since a person can thus discover a new occupation, which, perhaps, is the vocation of his whole life. Some people recommend starting to do charity work or just doing good deeds.

Beautiful things

There is also an opinion that if you surround yourself with beautiful and expensive things, follow the style, wear fashionable clothes and shoes, make a fashionable hairstyle, it will give self-confidence.

Psychologists undoubtedly know how to increase self-esteem in a man. Therefore, if you lack your strength in the struggle for self-sufficiency, then you can start attending trainings to improve it or contact a specialist directly for help.

How to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a man? Psychologists believe that no reason is needed to love yourself. You need to accept yourself as you are. After all, every person is self-sufficient, and this fact must be accepted as an axiom. But sometimes it is not so easy to do it. There are several guidelines to help you cope with your fears and accept yourself with all your shortcomings.

First, psychologists advise against comparing yourself to others. Since this greatly undermines the sense of self-sufficiency. So, for example, a person looks at his more successful work colleague, who is moving faster along career ladder and besides, it is popular with the fair sex, and compares it to itself. From this comparison, he, of course, comes out as a loser. Because of what he gets upset, becomes discouraged and cannot accept himself.

It should be understood that a person cannot live his life for someone else, be it a more successful colleague or neighbor. The best thing to do is to be yourself. And the only thing that is permissible is comparing yourself between the past and the present.

Secondly, scientists urge people to leave their comfort zone more often. This will allow you to reveal abilities and talents that a person did not even know about.

Third, you need to give up judging other people and their actions. Since this imposes restrictions on their own line of behavior. Anyone can find themselves in the same situation that they recently condemned. And getting out of it under the pressure of your own prejudices will be much more difficult.

Fourth, you cannot be too patient. If there is something in life that does not suit you, then sometimes it is easier to just accept than to change something in better side... However, psychologists call for active action: you need to strive for the best and create your own happiness with all your might.

The next tip follows directly from the previous one. You need to encourage yourself for the goals you achieve. Moreover, you can please yourself in different ways, the main thing is that it brings positive emotions. Indeed, in this way a person fixes in his mind that achieving a goal is doubly pleasant. And in the future, more strength and energy appears for the implementation of new ideas.

And finally, psychologists recommend limiting your communication with people who are aching and always complaining about life, not being them a vest in which you can always cry. After all, when a person constantly complains about life, he has already resigned himself to his problems, which he does not plan to solve, but simply shifts his negative emotions onto others. Listening to constantly whining, a man becomes infected with pessimism. Therefore, only strong and positive personalities should be allowed into your social circle.

How can a woman increase a man's self-esteem?

The undeniable fact is that love works wonders. A guy in love is ready to move mountains for his lady of the heart. It's no surprise that women need to know how to boost a man's self-esteem.

The first and foremost thing that girls can do to make a guy feel more confident is to praise. The main thing is that the praise is sincere and in moderation. This energizes the stronger sex and inspires new feats.

The third rule for ladies is to ask for help. After all, even the smallest request that a man will fulfill will make him feel like a knight.

Thus, love is and remains one of the most effective ways to increase male self-esteem.

How to improve your self-esteem in the eyes of a man? It's good when love works both ways. But if suddenly on the one hand it begins to weaken, then it can be refreshed and thereby get rid of self-doubt.

When a girl feels that her value in the eyes of her chosen one is falling, she can gain increased attention from other men. Interest from the opposite sex in her address will cause, if not burning jealousy on the part of the chosen one, then at least his dissatisfaction. Moreover, the fact that a girl is attractive in the eyes of other men dramatically increases her value in the eyes of her partner. He understands that he did the right thing when he made a choice in her favor.

Films

What films are there that increase a man's self-esteem? Can cinema help cope with the problem of self-doubt? Scientists answer this question in the affirmative.

It is known that there are special motivating videos, the task of which is to change the worldview, make you think positively and thereby awaken the desire to move forward. But what if we turn not to them, but to feature films? Which movie to choose?

In this case, you need to focus on paintings where the main character, initially unsure of himself, copes with his fears, realizes that he is capable of a lot and emerges victorious from difficult situations. Moreover, it can be a film of any genre and country of production.

A good example of such a movie is the Hollywood movie Always Say Yes, starring Jim Carrey. It tells a story young man, who abruptly changed his life when he opened up to everything new. This film will not only give a positive charge, but also set you on the path of self-development.

More examples of such films: "1 + 1", "The Green Mile", "The Shawshank Redemption", "The First After God", etc.

Conclusion

Now you know how to increase a man's self-esteem. We have considered different ways... We hope that our recommendations will help you solve the problem.

In the modern world, self-esteem in itself is hardly needed; rather, one wants significance, self-confidence. Without a doubt, people's actions are influenced by their own level of self-esteem. Very often there are people who have significantly low self-esteem. Such people have much greater potential than they themselves think about their abilities and capabilities. Such problems, usually, come from childhood, and psychology to cope with them: how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence in a woman, this science will tell.

Often, a woman's self-esteem is underestimated, that is, the real capabilities of a person are higher than ideas about them. This is usually due to the fact that the formation of self-esteem occurs mainly in childhood, when the capabilities are poorly developed. In addition, the negative environment has a serious impact. Of course, there are cases when a person has overestimated ideas, but, in my opinion, this is typical only for very young people. And for adult women, the opposite situation is characteristic - low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. Personality is formed in childhood and early youth, when opportunities, for obvious reasons, are seriously limited.

It is possible to increase a woman's self-esteem, although this is often a rather slow process. However, conscious attempts at building self-esteem can be useful to almost everyone.

How to boost self-esteem and self-confidence

Cope with the task will allow simple tips.

Stop comparing yourself to other people.

There will always be people who have more than you. If you do comparisons, you will always have too many opponents or opponents that you cannot beat.

Stop scolding and blaming yourself.

You will not be able to increase your self-esteem and gain confidence if you repeat negative statements about yourself and your abilities. Whether you're talking about your appearance, career, relationships, financial situation, or any other aspect of life, avoid self-deprecating comments. Correction of the worldview is directly related to statements about oneself.

Accept all compliments and congratulations in return "thank you"

When you respond to a compliment with something like, "Nothing special," you reject the compliment and simultaneously send a message that you are not praiseworthy, creating low self-esteem. Therefore, accept praise with confidence, without belittling your dignity.

Use affirmations (statements) to build self-confidence

Place a statement on a commonly used item, such as a plastic card or wallet, such as “I love and accept myself” or “I attractive woman and I deserve the best in life. " May this statement always be with you. Repeat the statement several times throughout the day, especially before going to bed and after waking up. Whenever you repeat an affirmation, feel positive emotions about the affirmation. Thus, the effect of the impact will be significantly enhanced.

Use seminars, books, audio and video recordings

Any information admitted to the mind takes root there and influences behavior. Dominant information influences the actions of a woman in a dominant way. If you watch negative television programs or read crime stories in the newspapers, the mood is likely to tilt towards a cynical and pessimistic side. Likewise, if you read books or listen to programs that are positive in nature and can increase your self-esteem, you will gain confidence from them.

1. Try to communicate with positive and confident women ready to support you. When you're surrounded negative people that constantly overwhelm you and your ideas, confidence in the best disappears. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, the woman's self-esteem grows.
2. Make a list of past accomplishments. It doesn't have to be monumental. The list may include small victories, such as learning how to snowboard, getting a driver's license, starting to go to the gym regularly, etc. Review this list regularly. As you read the accomplishments, try to close your eyes and re-experience the satisfaction and joy you once experienced.
3. Form a list of your positive qualities.
   

   Are you being honest? Selfless? Helpful for others? Are you creative? Be supportive and write down at least 20 of your positive qualities.

   As with the previous list, it is important to review this list frequently. Many people focus on shortcomings, reinforcing the lowest bar there. Start focusing on the virtues and you are much more likely to achieve what you want.

4. Start giving more to others. I'm not talking about money. This refers to giving in the form of actions that you can use to help others or positively rewarding others.
   

   When you do something for others, self-esteem and confidence in self-worth increases.

How to improve self-esteem through professional activities

Self-esteem thrives when you are engaged in work or any other vigorous activity that is enjoyable and gives you the opportunity to feel valuable.

Even if the job is not entirely satisfactory for you, you can devote free time hobbies that bring you joy. Live your own life. If you make decisions based on the approval of friends and family, you will not love yourself.

But, whether we are talking about work or leisure related hobbies, a woman needs to constantly act! You cannot sit still and not accept emerging challenges. When you act, regardless of the outcome you get, your sense of self-esteem and confidence grows. When you hesitate to act out of fear or some other anxiety, you will only feel upset and sad feelings, which, of course, will lead to a decrease in self-esteem.

Self-confidence will come when you learn to live your life.

As self-esteem rises, true abilities will unfold. You will begin not to be afraid of rejection; you will not be guided by the approval of other people. Most importantly, the absence of self-deprecation will bring peace of mind.

Personal Happiness, Or How To Boost Your Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is, first of all, a feeling of psychological comfort and a sign of a whole personality. Such a woman lives in peace with her essence, actions are purposeful, and personal desires are balanced by the desire to benefit and give joy to others.
So what does a confident woman look like, and what needs to be done to become one?

The answer is simple: become yourself and be happy.

Improving a woman's self-esteem: no painful transformations

But this is only at first glance. Because to understand and accept the inner essence, making friends with "demons" and "cockroaches" is not an easy task. And not everyone is able, figuratively speaking, to show a real face by removing the mask, washing off the marriage makeup. People, like mystical shape-shifters, copy each other in appearance, demeanor, life values ​​and aspirations. And already with difficulty it is possible to make out whose idea took possession of the brain and whose thought prompted to perform either another action: one's own, one's own, or initiated by others and flown in from the outside.

It is not a fact that this, someone else's thought, is harmful or completely useless - perhaps those who advise have considerable life experience and sincerely want to help. However, it doesn’t hurt to awaken your inner instinct and get a kind of “censor-caretaker” who would analyze the situation with an open mind. The thought-mixer in the minds is created by society, and the this moment beauty canons and fashion trends, stereotypes of behavior and life values... In other words, society prescribes a recipe for happiness for everyone, the same recipe. Apparently, this is why happiness is so scarce, but when asked "Do you like the way you live?" most women respond negatively.

Woman and motherhood: how it affects self-confidence

About five years ago, independent Western sociologists conducted an anonymous survey of women. He touched upon the standard maternal theme: "why did you have a baby?"

It is noteworthy that about 80% of women were perplexed and answered vaguely like “it should be,” “everyone does this,” or “it happened unplanned,” and only a fifth of mothers said that they deliberately wanted children and felt the need to communicate with them. ...

As a result, the society is rewarded with incomplete families, abandoned children and disabled children who were born in dysfunctional families "by chance". To live your own life, develop self-esteem and confidence: by being led by public opinion, you will make yourself and your child unhappy.

Have your courage

Let's say that there is nowhere to put new outfits, and the husband is filling up with fur coats and diamonds ... Then why the media are full of scandalous headlines about drug and alcohol addiction of pop stars and suicides of successful women? It means that happiness is something else ... That is personal and internal, which makes a person strong, bright, able to cope with any temptations and difficulties in life. In other words, happiness, like papillary patterns on fingers, is individual, and its source is not Magic Land Oz, but inside each of us.

It is enough just to turn to your subtle instinct, and you will immediately understand whether to follow the thoughts that have flown in, or it is better to let go of it without regret. After all, if the soul says "no", it means - unequivocal "NO!".

Get in the habit of passing thoughts that prompt you to action through your internal scanner and you will be surprised how much alien has settled in your head as unnecessary junk. Just don't be cunning! It is so customary that the human mass is guided by an impersonal attitude "so as not to be worse than that of others."

Have the courage to declare the vinaigrette from other people's installations rotten and throw it in the trash can! From now on - everything is only personally prepared, fresh and tasty! An internal censor is able to lead a person to that very cherished path leading to personal happiness, but in order to follow it and not turn away, you need to have a special psychological weapon in your arsenal.

Psychology: how to increase a girl's self-esteem

Famous and successful people want to imitate, they are called "divas" and "style icons". At the same time, few people think that copying is useful only when creating clones, and even pearls in an expensive necklace do not repeat each other. The diva is original, like a star in the sky, and it is this individuality that makes her so.

A person who has reached some wonderful heights in life is not necessarily the best. It's just that once he became obsessed with his dream and did everything to realize it.

There are no people who are gray and unlucky, mediocre and mediocre. There are weak-willed, driven and vulnerable, allowing others to take control of their lives. For this is easier and safer: to bury dreams, bury talent in a barren land, destroy castles in the air and lull the desire to change something with eternal sleep. The merciless society declares a childhood dream to be nonsense, individual talent is an idle pastime, and now the person has wilted, got upset, succumbed to negativity, and then became like everyone else: home, family, work. A home without comfort, a family without mutual understanding, work without pleasure ...

Self-development will help you gain self-confidence

And you just had to do what the soul is in. And then the desired goal will shine as a guiding star and the path will not seem so long and difficult as in darkness and nonsense.

Stand out to respect yourself

"Standing out" is not synonymous with "deliberately shocking others with your appearance" or "doing unacceptable acts." Self-confidence should not be confused with self-confidence - an exaggerated sense of self-worth, spiced with shades of self-centeredness and superiority over others.

Standing out means highlighting your personal style and becoming recognizable. It means discovering your talents and turning disadvantages into strengths. A good example is the now popular XXL models, luxurious "puffs" that exploded the canons of the Fashion industry and proved that "beauty is not size, but self-awareness."

Learning to resist the imposed physical standards these girls are convinced of their sexuality

They don't hesitate to advertise underwear, decorating the covers of Elle, Glamor and Vogue magazines with their forms. The body positivism they preach gives confidence and makes happy thousands of women around the world, whose parameters are far from the standard 90-60-90.

Feel free to your craft, hobby, and environment. If you love to paint, let the house look like a workshop, and if you love ornamental plants, turn it into a jungle! Make new acquaintances who share hobbies and worldview - after all, a real friend is one who can easily and pleasantly admit his little follies.

Stop sacrificing yourself: a common mistake women make

The diametrical opposite of a bright spot is a gray hen, which was pecked by worries and worries. Her feathers faded, and her personal desires faded, turning into a creature catering to other people's needs. It is sad to realize, but most women sacrifice their dreams: to small children, a sick mother, an egoist husband, a tyrant boss, etc. They devote themselves entirely to this or that, believing that it is so right, and sacrifice is equated with happiness. When the illusion crumbles - the children grow up, the boss is imprisoned for bribes, and the husband leaves for another - life seems meaningless and turns into ruins. And then, on the ruins, a terrible process of self-flagellation begins ...

Undoubtedly, there are concepts such as responsibility, care and mercy, but it is unacceptable to make yourself a hostage to someone else's egoism. Remember, a whole person is in demand at any period of life, so you never equate yourself with a disposable napkin, which is so convenient to use, refreshing one or another part of the body, and then just throw it away. Learn to appreciate yourself always and everywhere: please yourself every day, holte, cherish, take yourself shopping, give yourself gifts, visit beauty salons and cat shows ...

Trust me - you deserve the best!

Stop worrying: personal growth and fears

The female half of humanity is more emotional, expansive, sensual and thus, undoubtedly, more vulnerable. Emotions splash and rage, eroding the shores of a private island called "personality", and sometimes it happens that only faceless sand remains of it.

Stress destroys the psyche and physical body, gives rise to obsessive thoughts and multiplies dissatisfaction with oneself. Undoubtedly, there are terrible periods in life when the familiar world is shattered into smithereens and everything around is plunged into darkness. Set the accents, choose the main thing, decide on the prerogatives and then you will understand that in most cases the explosion of emotions is simply incontinence and lack of self-control.

In this regard, dear women, learn to tame emotional storms and calm storms. Yes, you have the right to get excited, foaming and nervous, but only on the surface. For the sake of sight. And inside there is a cool bottomless depth, a blue tone and tranquility. Remember at least that legendary cinematic "I am the most charming and attractive", smile and most of stressors will seem like meaningless nonsense.

Free yourself from negativity

There is always room for discontent in life. Experiences cause stress response, it turns into a negative, and that, in turn, is stored and pressed, occupying all corners of consciousness. Irritation, fatigue, fear, indignation, powerless anger - these are emotional markers of overload with negative and a sign that a little more - and the person will completely plunge into turbid waves of depression.

There is only one way out: to learn not to notice these "50 shades of black" that life throws up every hour. Don't waste yourself on gossip, quarrels, and scandals. Without regret, delete from life those who are always complaining about fate and who like to “wash other people's bones” in conversation. In return, make new acquaintances among individuals who have achieved something in this life, who have become professionals, who have coped with a personal problem, and then the thirst for creation will overwhelm you.

Take action!

So, in order for the world around to change, something needs to be changed in life.

• You need to get off the couch and act.
• Move, try, create and get up.
• Just be yourself and be happy

How to start believing in yourself

The question of how to become a self-confident girl worries many. Confidence is one of the few qualities that is difficult to develop with age. This character trait is laid down by upbringing from childhood and plays a fundamental role in many areas of life. The lack of this quality affects especially strongly the sphere of personal life. How to please the opposite sex if you lack confidence?

Self-perception and self-confidence play a major role in an individual's success. Increased self-esteem a person often becomes the main factor in achieving goals and self-realization. In order to answer the question "how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence", it is necessary to understand in detail this concept, to understand how it is formed, what factors can influence the process, what may be the reason for a low assessment of strength and consider the main ways to increase self-esteem.

Self-esteem refers to the perception of one's uniqueness and worth, as well as the ability to appreciate both strengths and weaknesses. A sound assessment of oneself allows one to avoid possible mistakes, is the basis for further improvement and development. Self-assessment has three most important functions:

• protective - promotes stability and independence from the environment;
• regulatory - allows you to make personal choices;
• developing - provides the desire for development.

The ideal option is when an individual forms an opinion about himself on his own. However, in modern society this process is influenced by many environmental factors, for example, parents, friends, peers. It is from this that the possibility of the formation of low self-esteem comes. This often manifests itself in adulthood, but has its origins in childhood. It is noticeable by the following features:

• pessimistic and negative attitude towards everything around;
• dependence on the assessment of the environment, fear of being wrong, constant justification of one's own actions;
• dissatisfaction with oneself, constant criticism in one's own direction, often not deserved or excessive;
• envy of the success of others.

There may be several reasons for this, and in order to understand how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence, you should first deal with the reasons. One of the most common is education. Any psychological difficulties of an adult originate at an early age, as well as with self-perception. In a family where parents constantly scold the child or compare him with others, at a subconscious level, the baby develops insecurity, passivity, and lack of initiative.

The experience of failures and setbacks in childhood can also lead to inadequate attitudes towards oneself, if adults instead of support make a remark or ridicule. Even in the most innocuous cases, when the elders know they need to put in a lot of effort, young children may give up trying to improve the result. In addition, if there are scandals between parents in the family, the child may consider himself guilty of these incidents, hence the lack of self-confidence, lack of desire to make decisions.

Any features of appearance or health can cause self-dislike if it falls under the ridicule of peers. If in childhood you received psychological trauma, for example, due to excess weight, this is a direct way to the formation of low self-esteem, which remains even in adulthood. Children are sometimes ruthless, and the opinion of the environment often plays out important role in self-perception.

Another of the most common reasons for negative self-attitude is the “unhealthy” environment. This is due to the fact that only where success is appreciated and the desire to achieve results, a person will strive for development. If relatives, friends or acquaintances do not show a desire for initiative, it is rather difficult to expect this from one person taken. Naturally, we are not talking about the termination of communication with such individuals, one should only make a conclusion about whether they are the reason for dislike of oneself.

If a person has decided on radical changes in himself, then he should consider ways that will help increase self-esteem. Let's take a look at some of them.

Change of environment... The solution to the problem can be in a change of environment, because it is negatively minded individuals who can negatively affect an individual who has doubts about his abilities. If you include in your social circle those who have achieved certain successes, you can soon regain self-confidence, desire to act, and self-respect.

Refuse self-flagellation... On frequent question: how to love yourself and increase self-esteem, the psychologist often recommends giving up self-flagellation. This is due to the fact that the expression of negativity towards oneself and constant dissatisfaction with the appearance, behavior, personal life or financial situation is hardly the basis for a normal perception of oneself as a person. It is necessary to practice positive judgments - they will lead to the goal.

Stop comparing yourself to others... Self-esteem of a person, which needs to be improved, is, first of all, awareness of his individuality and uniqueness. If you constantly compare yourself with others, you will not be able to achieve a positive result, because in any field of activity there will always be someone more successful or more talented. For comparisons, it is better to use yourself: what I was before, I have become, I can become with a little effort.

Formulating and listening to affirmations- another way, offered by psychology, as an opportunity to increase self-esteem. In simple words- it is necessary to come up with small verbal expressions that contribute to an increase in self-confidence. If you don't know how to love yourself and increase your self-esteem, formulate some affirmations and repeat them in the morning and before bed. You can even record on a dictaphone. You can talk to yourself in meditation. These can be phrases like “I can do everything I strive for”, “I am happy and successful”.

Get out of your comfort zone. To be successful, try to step out of your own comfort zone. The desire to hide from difficulties is quite natural, however, for both men and women, the psychologist's advice on how to increase self-esteem and love yourself says the same thing: you need to do unusual things, for example, look the problem and fears in the eye. And this will also be a step towards its solution.

Attendance at psychological trainings- another way to become confident and increase self-esteem. For residents of large cities, it will not be difficult. However, one should pay attention to the professionalism of a psychologist, because in order to achieve the necessary results, he must be an expert in his field, and not an impostor, of which, alas, there are quite a few now. If there is no opportunity to attend such events, you can independently study the literature on this topic or watch special films.

Sport... The most popular and accessible method for improving self-attitude is sports. This way to increase self-esteem is good not only in terms of psychology, but also in perspective. physical health... Regular training and exercise is the reason for the less critical attitude towards appearance and shape. In addition, during sports exercises, the body produces hormones of joy, which allows you to improve your well-being and get rid of excessive self-criticism.

Achievement diary... Achievement diary can help build self-confidence in both women and men. Many psychologists recommend this way to increase self-esteem. These can be notes on your phone or computer, the best option- start a notebook, because you can always re-read it at a convenient time. It is necessary to write down several achievements for the past day. These are not necessarily big accomplishments - just a few good deeds are enough to make you feel proud and grateful to yourself.

With the question of how to love yourself and increase self-esteem, psychology recommends that men and women cope in different ways, because the assessment of oneself for representatives of different genders depends on various factors, and therefore requires special solutions. That is why it is important to understand well how to increase a woman's self-esteem, and how a man and ways to increase it will differ.

The opinion of girls about themselves depends on many factors. To find out that a representative of the fairer sex has low self-esteem is quite simple in her appearance, inability to accept compliments, and a tendency to constant self-criticism. When asked how to increase a woman's self-esteem, psychology offers a number of decisive actions.

First of all, for any girl it is necessary to learn to accept herself as she is: with a figure, height, color of eyes and hair. It should be remembered that there are happy and beautiful people both among the overweight and among the thin ones.

You should always find time to take care of yourself, because how to increase self-esteem for a woman who does not consider it necessary to take care of her body? Appearance is an important factor for the formation correct attitude to yourself. Only by loving yourself can you turn into a truly self-sufficient beauty.

Some effort should be made to get rid of the envy of the more successful people. Envy is a feeling that kills self-confidence, suppresses the desire for accomplishment. You should focus on the skills and talents that set you apart as an individual. In order not to forget about your merits and accomplishments, start a special notebook in which you can enter all your achievements and successes. They don't have to be hugely significant. A deliciously prepared dish, perfectly styled hair and similar "little things" that create you as a person will do.

Finding a decent social circle is another way to increase a woman's self-esteem and love herself. Those who constantly criticize you (most often your friends) do not belong in a good environment that fosters a sense of self-sufficiency. They can cause a constant sense of guilt about your "wrong." Do not try to please someone, because the one who is pleased with himself does not point out to others about their shortcomings. The main thing is the ability to refuse to make excuses in front of others: learn to ask for forgiveness, but in no case do not make excuses.

Good advice how to increase a girl's self-esteem, she will not be lazy, and find a certain activity that brings not only benefits, but also the pleasure of doing it - you will understand your own importance, stop wasting time worrying about trifles. It should be remembered that in order to please others, it is absolutely not worth trying to present yourself in the right light. Engage in self-development, read interesting literature, and you will turn into a pleasant companion with whom they will strive to communicate successful people.

The main rule is to become interesting for yourself. This requires introspection skills - think in which industries you are interesting to the environment, in what your strengths, and what are the weak. Knowing these points can help you avoid communication mistakes and is a good way to boost your self-esteem.

The ability to accept compliments is important for any girl. If you learn to respond to them adequately, you yourself will sooner feel how attractive and interesting you are. To do this, you can try to memorize a few standard phrases like: "This is very nice of you", "Thank you very much" - they will greatly simplify your perception of compliments.

In order to figure out as accurately as possible how to increase a woman's self-esteem, the advice of psychologists is invaluable. Read special literature, browse documentaries, attend trainings and seminars. You will not only understand the problem itself and the ways to solve it, but you will simultaneously develop as a person, absorbing new knowledge, gaining new experience.

How to increase self-esteem in a man

For men, the problem of low self-esteem is also quite common. Representatives of the stronger sex, who have such a problem, are not inclined to make decisions, cannot find success in their favorite business, do not dare to contact the girl they like. The study of the question of how to increase a man's self-esteem should be carried out as quickly as possible, because due to a lack of self-esteem, many complexes can appear, with which, subsequently, it is much more difficult to fight.

Psychologists' advice on how to increase self-esteem in men is quite diverse. First of all, you need to learn to think sensibly and not scold yourself for failures. Any oversight or perfect mistake requires correction, but not digging into oneself. Look for a way to fix the situation, not blame for what happened. For a man, it is necessary to train his body and mind, because this is the main guarantee of success, both among the representatives of the opposite sex, and in order to achieve goals. An attractive externally and internally young person is unlikely to develop an inferiority complex; this way of increasing self-esteem works well in practice.

You should surround yourself with beautiful things - choose high-quality shoes and clothes, because the appearance not only attracts the attention of others, but also affects self-confidence.

An important skill is the ability not to compare oneself with others. Each of us is unique, with its own merits and demerits, and even psychology will not tell you how to increase self-esteem and confidence to someone who does not understand their individuality. Compare with the old self, but not with the success of others.

You should choose the right environment and it is better to exclude from the potential circle of friends those who are engaged in self-realization at your expense. Individuals who do not respect themselves and do not show striving for accomplishments will not become friends for your self-esteem - they automatically “pull to the bottom”, instilling the habit of constant self-criticism and unwillingness to correct failures.

Not only girls, but also guys should learn to accept compliments. If praise is expressed, then you deserve it, and this is another reason to increase your self-confidence. It is important to do something meaningful and useful that will not only benefit others, but also enjoy you. Learn to focus on successes, not failures, and continually strive to multiply them. Self-esteem will increase significantly from the realization of your own importance.

These ways to boost your self-esteem should work. If you cannot cope with low self-esteem or complexes on your own, read the literature on this issue, watch the special films that are presented below. If possible, you can attend psychological trainings or contact a psychologist personally, he will help not only in word, but also in deed. Self-esteem problems always begin long before they are discovered and recognized, which means that it will be necessary to raise it certain time.

How to boost your teen's self-esteem

Low self-esteem in adolescence is quite common and if you change it in a timely manner, in the future a person will be successful and happy. Experts offer several methods of how to increase self-esteem in a teenager. The first is about creating pride. First you need to understand that your self-esteem should not come from appearance, but from skills, achievements, experience. In order not to suffer from complexes, you can independently create reasons for pride in yourself. Do what you enjoy — academic excellence, being able to play an instrument, being able to travel, learning an art or playing sports — what makes you unique, special.

Taking on some responsibility is a great way to boost self-esteem, which works great for teens with self-esteem. Depending on your age, opportunities and desires, you can find a job for yourself, volunteer, or simply help peers or younger ones in what you are strong in. This will allow you to realize your personal importance and, possibly, find your calling.

In order to feel like a full-fledged person, it is important to engage in the development of individuality, which is the second technique for increasing self-esteem in adolescents. First of all, remember that you must do what you like yourself, regardless of the opinions of others. This does not apply to the advice of parents - due to your age, you still have to listen to them. We are not talking about drastic changes. It is enough to attend a circle that gives you pleasure, to do good things not only for yourself, but also for those around you.

Developing your own style is an important foundation for high self-esteem. Remember that you are not like anyone else, be yourself. Wear clothes of your personal taste, listen to your favorite music, attend events that you like, hang out with pleasant people - this is where individuality manifests itself and this way of increasing self-esteem will be effective.

It is also worth exploring your passions: someone likes to sing, someone likes to draw, someone knits or embroiders. You are special, which means you have to do what you like, regardless of the opinion of your peers.

Social circle plays an important role in building self-esteem. Try to limit contact with those who make fun of you or do not understand. Communication with those who do not show desire for self-realization will not give results - they will "drag you to the bottom." Suitable friends these are those with whom your goals in life converge, or at least those who are able to support your choice. Don't be afraid to voice your own opinion. It is an essential skill for building up in society.

It is quite important to get rid of the negativity that destroys the inner world. Communicate only with people who are pleasant to you, learn to evaluate correctly own actions... In this case, the emphasis should be placed not on self-criticism, but on the desire to correct the situation, to achieve better success... It is also necessary to forget about the concept of "ideal", because no one is perfect, and each person is special in his own way. Remember that if you constantly try to do something perfect, you may never finish the job you started.

Books and films that increase self-esteem

Many factors contribute to self-development and self-esteem. It is important to detect the problem in time and find a solution. Special literature or films can help boost self-esteem. To find out how to increase self-esteem, psychologists recommend not only trying to solve this problem on your own, but also attending special trainings and doing self-development.

In order to achieve this goal, experts recommend watching films that increase self-esteem. The most popular options are:

• "October Sky";
• “10 Steps to Success”;
• "The character";
• « Good year»;
• Billy Elliot.

Psychologists offer self-esteem books. Among them:

• Joseph Hallinan, Why We're Wrong;
• Richard O'Connor, The Psychology of Bad Habits;
• Martin Seligman's Path to Prosperity;
• Alice Muir “Self Confidence”;
• Ken Robinson "The Calling".

The presented ways to increase self-esteem and practical advice will help in a rather difficult task, the main thing is to set a goal and go towards it no matter what.

A fluttering gait, a proudly raised head, chiseled posture, eyes radiating confidence and charisma: these qualities are inherent in women who have been able to become self-confident and increase their self-esteem.

To become successful person, to have many fans and friends, it is important to work on yourself, constantly strive for the best. And for this it is necessary to cultivate the qualities of absolute confidence and firm convictions.

What does self-esteem affect in a woman's life?

According to psychologists, self-esteem problems can affect all areas of a woman's life:

• success in the professional field;
• communication with friends, colleagues and relatives;
• well-being of family life;
• physical and psychological health.

How to become a confident woman and increase self-esteem? Psychologist's advice will help

Statistics show that the fair sex is more prone to low self-esteem than men. Interestingly, almost every woman knows whether she has a problem in this matter or not.

Test to determine the level of attitude towards oneself

Psychological tests can help you pinpoint if a person has self-esteem problems.

If it turns out that self-esteem is underestimated, then it is necessary to carry out work to improve the personality.

The test below will give an accurate determination of the level of attitude towards oneself. You need to honestly answer all questions and immediately count the points scored. At the end of the test, all points are added up. The resulting figure will show what level the survey participant belongs to.

Test: Determining the level of self-esteem

Do you often think that you shouldn't have done or said something?

1. Yes, often - 1 point;
2. No, not often - 3 points.

When interacting with a witty and excellent conversationalist, you:

1. You will do everything to surpass him in wit - 5 points;
2. Do not want to participate in such a competition, thereby showing the superiority of the interlocutor -1 point.

Which opinion suits you best?

1. No luck, you can only achieve anything by hard work - 5 points;
2. Success comes only by a happy coincidence - 1 point;
3. In difficult situations, luck and perseverance will not help. Real help comes from a person who can comfort and cheer - 3 points.

How will you feel when you see your funny cartoon?

1. You will laugh heartily, paying attention to the good similarity - 3 points;
2. You will be upset, but don’t show the view - 1 point;
3. Start joking at the interlocutor in response - 4 points.

Do you often do work alone that needs to be done by several people?

1. Yes - 1 point;
2. No - 5 points;
3. I don't know 3 points.

What perfume will you choose as a gift for your friend?

1. Those that you like - 5 points;
2. Those that you do not like, but, in your opinion, will like your friend - 3 points;
3. Those recently seen in a commercial - 1 point.

How often do you imagine situations in which you behave in a way that you would never have behaved in real life?

1. Yes - 1 point;
2. No - 5 points;
3. I don't know 3 points.

Your young work colleague has achieved better results in the service than you. Will it upset you?

1. Yes - 1 point;
2. No - 5 points;
3. Not really - 3 points.

Do you take pleasure in arguing with someone?

1. Yes - 5 points;
2. No - 1 point;
3. I don't know - a point.

Close your eyes and try to imagine any color. You presented:

1. Light blue, blue, white - 1 point;
2. Green, yellow - 3 points;
3. Black, red - 5 points.

How to read test results

• If the sum of points is from 38 to 50 then your self-esteem is too high. You are a confident and self-satisfied person. Both in the social circle and in Everyday life often emphasize your "I", put personal opinion above others and try to dominate the interlocutors. Criticism of others is your business as usual, but you don't care what they think of you. "I don't like others, but I love myself." The closer your number is to 50, the more this phrase suits you. High self-esteem prevents you from accepting criticism.
• If the score is from 24 to 37, then your self-esteem is adequate. You completely trust yourself, and your life is filled with self-acceptance. You can always find a way out of difficult situations. You are usually happy with yourself and the people around you. You can always be a support for your loved ones and colleagues.
• If the sum of points is from 10 to 23 then your self-esteem is low. You are not at all happy with yourself. Your intelligence, appearance, achievement, ability, age and even gender provoke dissatisfaction and doubt in you. It is difficult for you to succeed at work and the opinions of others seriously affect your life.

Any woman, realizing that she belongs to the third group, must do everything to become self-confident. To increase self-esteem, you need to understand the reasons that led to this.

Causes of low self-esteem and how to fix them

There are many reasons that lead to a decrease in self-esteem. Among the most common are the following:

• improper upbringing in childhood;
• frequent failures in childhood;
• there are no specific goals in life;
• unhealthy surrounding society;
• various diseases and defects in appearance.

It is necessary to analyze each cause in more detail in order to find a way to eliminate it. Only by getting rid of them, you can come to the result.

Improper parenting

The bulk of psychological shortcomings originate in early childhood... Poor self-esteem is no exception. Excessively exaggerated demands of parents, reproaches, criticism, lack of affection and praise lead to it. If a child gets used to such an attitude, then in the future he will already behave as if he deserves it.

Frequent failures in childhood

If parents do not support their child, in case of his failures, then their child's attitude towards themselves will only worsen. Overestimated requirements of the father and mother usually lead to the fact that the child begins to evaluate himself according to adult criteria. This leads to a loss of self-satisfaction and self-disappointment.

A significant role in this issue is played by the attitude of peers, who tend to make outcasts out of losers. This contributes to the loss of self-confidence and negatively affects self-esteem.

Lack of goals in life

In the absence of clear and realistic goals, both a child and an adult can become a person with a negative attitude towards themselves. If a person ceases to set tasks for himself, his life is deprived of color. These people usually do not want to pay attention to their appearance, do not want to change something, stop dreaming and, as a result, the level of self-esteem decreases.

Unhealthy social environment

The social circle plays a significant role in the formation of self-esteem, both in adults and in children. A healthy attitude towards oneself is formed where there is a good example to follow. But in the presence of non-initiative friends who constantly complain about life, criticize others and do not want to change anything in their life, self-esteem will only worsen.

In such cases, it is necessary to radically change the social circle and get closer to people who strive for success, try to make their dreams come true, are able to overcome difficulties and constantly improve themselves.

Defects in appearance and health

In the case of defects in appearance and certain health problems, many children develop poor self-esteem. Such a child usually feels different from those around him. The situation is often aggravated by the relentless ridicule and bullying of peers.

In such cases, correcting these deficiencies will help improve self-esteem. If this is not possible, it is necessary to develop qualities in oneself that will help to become self-confident, more developed and attractive to others.

Methods for increasing self-esteem and self-confidence

The following are methods to help every woman become more self-confident and increase her self-esteem. This work may take only a few months - this is the statement of psychologists. The main thing is to have the desire and striving for the result.

Yes, a woman needs confidence that she deserves the best - self-esteem, love and respect of others, personal growth, life success... It is important to develop this confidence in yourself, and there are proven methods for this. Take action!

Stop criticizing yourself

There are no perfect people, and you are no exception. But you can't constantly criticize yourself for your shortcomings. Self-criticism - useful quality but within reasonable limits.

To overcome a negative attitude towards oneself, psychologists advise to compose detailed list its merits and periodically re-read it. Stop criticizing yourself, learn to praise. A self-confident person is distinguished not by the absence of shortcomings, but by the ability to not pay attention to them.

Learn to accept praise

Accepting praise is a must for a confident woman. Excessive modesty is just as harmful as lack of it. A compliment received with dignity and gratitude is pleasant to both parties.

Stop making excuses

There will definitely be someone who doesn't like something in your life. There are two possible scenarios for the development of events. If you're wrong — for example, your boss is unhappy with a poor-quality project — don't look for excuses. Admit and correct the mistake. The ability to admit that you are wrong is a sign strong man able to take responsibility for their actions.

But you don't have to try to please everyone around you. For example, if someone doesn't like your way of dressing, you don't have to make excuses. This is your life, and only you can decide whose opinion matters to you.

Learn to ask for help

The ability to ask for help is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. A weak person does not ask for help out of fear of rejection, fear of being in debt, false shame and other fears. A confident woman is not afraid to ask, calmly endures the refusal and thanks for the help with a sincere smile.

Start small - ask to hold the door, bring a heavy bag, explain some nuance. Even if you hear “no,” this is not a disaster, but a new experience that will make you stronger. Feel free to ask for help. And help yourself.

Bring your business to the end

You cannot succeed if you give up after the first difficulties. Unfinished business and unfulfilled plans significantly reduce self-esteem. Successful overcoming of difficulties is a great way to increase it.

A few rules to help you with this:

• consider motivation. Morning work-out – a slim body, submitted project - received prize, etc .;
• don't try to do everything at once. For example, learn a new language for 20 minutes, but every day. The main thing is to start acting;
• find like-minded people. Or an example to follow;
• do not forget to praise yourself - even for small successes.

Learn to love your body

In modern society, appearance plays a significant role. But for success in life, you do not need to have a perfect body. There are enough examples of successful charismatic people on the Internet whose appearance is far from perfect.

Accept and love yourself - you are unique. A state of harmony will give you confidence - and this will certainly affect the attitude of others.

Lead a healthy lifestyle, play sports

Healthy way life and regular physical exercise essential for a woman deciding how to become self-confident and build self-esteem. It has been scientifically proven that physical activity stimulates the production of dopamine - the "hormone of joy". A healthy lifestyle and sports improve the quality of life, strengthen health, improve appearance, and have a positive effect on the state of the nervous system.

Monitor your appearance

A self-confident woman is distinguished by grooming. She loves herself and takes care of herself. A trip to a beauty salon is a great remedy for depression. Get an elegant haircut, update your wardrobe. Consider this an investment in your successful future.

Connect with optimists and successful people

If in your environment there are people living by inertia, then they will ridicule all your ambitions. Limit such contacts to a minimum.

Look for successful, active and enthusiastic people, like-minded people. Where? In the gym, at exhibitions, seminars, trainings, in the network. Purposeful, confident, strong people will serve as an excellent motivation for personal growth.

Learn to leave the "comfort zone"

The Comfort Zone is not so much a comfortable place as a familiar one. For example, the usual nightly watching TV shows on your home couch. In the "comfort zone" it is stuffy and cramped, but at the same time familiar and safe.

Break the comfort stereotype. Start small - return home in an unusual way. Instead of lying on the couch, go to the pool, go to the theater, sign up for courses. New sensations, knowledge, acquaintances - a powerful stimulus for the formation of self-confidence.

Read positive literature

When you decide to make your life more positive, protect it from negative impressions whenever possible. You shouldn't read news full of negativity. And serious, but too realistic literature should be avoided.

Nowadays it is quite possible to indulge yourself with "fairy tales for adults" - novels with a good ending, humorous detective stories, etc. It will be very helpful to read specialized literature on self-esteem education.

Find your dream job

Changing jobs is a very serious step, which can only be decided upon after preparation. First, give yourself a break - let's say a week off. And only by dropping the accumulated negative, you can make a decision. Maybe you like your job, but not a very close-knit team? Or didn’t you have a good relationship with your boss? Then submit your resume and look for the same vacancy, but in different conditions.

What if you realize that you are doing the wrong thing? Again, take your time. Decide what you like and take action. Attend courses, study literature, meet experts. And life will definitely give you a chance.

Live desires

Do you want to hang glider? Look for information, specialists - and it is quite possible to spend your next vacation in the sky.

Do not envy other people's successes

You should not compare your life with someone else's. The glossy life that's so easy to observe in social networks, may turn out to be a beautiful package that hides a bunch of problems. Others' success should not scare or envy, but inspire and teach. Do not compare yourself to someone else, compare yourself - yesterday and today.

Discard laziness

Water does not flow under a lying stone - this saying is still relevant today. A confident woman will not allow laziness to ruin her life. If you want to achieve something, take action. There are many ways to deal with laziness: breaking things down into their component parts, accompanying work with music, coming up with rewards, etc. Choose your way and implement it.

To understand how to become a confident woman and increase self-esteem, it is worth using the help of professional psychologists. Special techniques, trainings, exercises have been developed to solve these problems.

Use your positive qualities

List and analyze your positive qualities. Realize how much potential you have. Consider how you can use these qualities in your daily life. Work on developing them.

Listen to affirmations

Affirmations are a short statement of your wishes as a fact. This is an effective form of self-hypnosis, programming of the subconscious, carried out by concentrated repetition of verbal phrases.

Affirmations should be formulated very carefully, laying in them the quintessence of your desires, so that their repetition forms the desired attitude.

They can be repeated or listened to in the recording. Examples of wording: “I am confident in myself”, “I love and be loved”, “I am talented and successful”.

Diary of successes and achievements

A diary is an effective tool. Every day you need to record all your achievements, regardless of their scale. Keeping such records and their subsequent analysis is a good incentive for a woman to become confident and increase her self-esteem.

Practical exercises

Meditation

You should meditate in a calm environment, without external stimuli. Get into a comfortable position, take a few deep breaths in and out to focus. Now, with each exhalation, get rid of negative impressions.

Visualize negative and imagine how it dissolves, giving way to calmness and optimism. In a positive mood, imagine yourself as you would like to see. Take your time, carefully draw the image.

Movements, intonation, facial expressions, posture - work out every detail. Try to convey love and support to the created image.

This exercise takes 10-15 minutes. You can do it in the morning or in the evening, without haste. Regularly conducted meditation will gradually consolidate this ideal in consciousness, transferring its features to a real image.

Auto-training

Self-training can be effectively used to calm down in a stressful situation, tune in to a difficult task, and gain self-confidence. For this, the appropriate affirmations are spoken out loud or silently.

For maximum effectiveness, auto-training is best done in a calm atmosphere, completely relaxing, saying affirmations aloud for 10-15 minutes. But this technique can also help in working conditions: even in crowded places, you can calm down simply by closing your eyes and repeating affirmations to yourself several times.

Psychological trainings

They are aimed at adaptation to society, or rather, at the development of immunity to public opinion. Of course, the opinion of others must be reckoned with, but it should not completely subjugate your personality.

This requires inner strength, self-confidence and self-confidence. Here are three easy trainings:

1. Learn not to be afraid of the public and even manage it. And to do this, do not hesitate to speak in front of a large audience. Use all the possibilities: a song with a guitar around a campfire, an anecdote in a company, a report at work, a presentation of goods to customers. Gradually, you will get rid of complexes, you will feel confident, you will learn to own an audience - an excellent quality for career growth.
2. "Double". Imagination is needed here. If you do not feel comfortable in public, and you cannot overcome this complex, imagine yourself in the role of your beloved "star" for whom communication is an everyday reality. Behave with the same laid-back freedom. Let not immediately, but it will work out. And over time, a double will not be needed.
3. Confidence in spite of everything. This training requires props. Add a ridiculous detail to your look (old-fashioned glasses, curlers, a defiant jacket) and go outside. Go shopping, socialize, walk with an absolutely imperturbable look. it strong remedy so start with the small details.

10 books that will tell you how to raise self-esteem

Books can tell you how to become a confident woman and increase your self-esteem.

1. Louise Hay, Heal Your Life;
2. Larisa Parfentieva “100 Ways to Change Your Life”;
3. Brian Tracy "Self-Assessment";
4. Dale Carnegie's “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”;
5. Dale Carnegie, How to Build Self-Confidence and Influence People by Speaking in Public;
6. Vladimir Levy "The Art of Being Oneself";
7. Sergey Mamontov “Believe in yourself. Self-confidence training ";
8. Helen Andelin "The Charm of Femininity";
9. Raphael Santandreu, "How not to turn your life into a nightmare";
10. Sharon Vegshida-Cruz “How much are you worth? How to learn to love and respect yourself ”.

Movies for motivation and self-confidence

Cinema has repeatedly addressed the topic of a strong woman.

1. The Devil Wears Prada, USA 2006;
2. Eat Pray Love, USA 2010;
3. Another Boleyn Girl, UK 2008;
4. "The Barber of Siberia", Russia, Italy 1998;
5. “Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears”, USSR 1979.

How to become self-confident in dealing with a man?

A confident woman attracts men. She knows how to communicate without being afraid to express her point of view, which makes her an interesting companion. Like all strong people, she knows how to give in, not considering it a sign of weakness. She knows how to emphasize her merits, and leaves her shortcomings in the shadows. She knows how, if necessary, to insist on her own, but at the same time will be able not to offend her partner.

A confident woman always knows her own worth. She will not tolerate the unacceptable behavior of a man, and will be able to say about it delicately but firmly. She will not grumble about anything, but will clearly articulate her displeasure, while remaining polite. Even in a difficult situation, she will be able to remain calm.

Perhaps not everything is working out as planned so far. Do not despair, develop self-confidence, and everything will definitely work out!

How to Build Confidence After a Breakup or Divorce?

This is a difficult period even for strong women... To survive it with the least loss will help:

• close people. It is desirable that during this period they were close, able to listen and support;
• hobby. It will help you distract yourself;
• new impressions. Take a walk, go to exhibitions, to the cinema - new impressions will gradually replace the bitterness of the past;
• trips. It's great if there is such an opportunity. The sharper the change in scenery, the better.

Parting with a man is not a reason for disappointment in yourself. Your life goes on.

How to become a confident mom?

The appearance of a child changes life dramatically and forever. What can you advise:

• don't lose your calm and confidence despite your lack of experience. You will very quickly learn to care for your baby, your experience will grow with your baby, and soon you will be able to give advice yourself;
• accept with gratitude the advice and help of the older generation, but the decisive word in the upbringing process remains with you;
• do not forget about yourself. Involve your husband and other close people and find time for yourself - go to the hairdresser, take a bath, get some sleep;
• value communication with your child. Enjoy his smiles, first teeth and steps, and discover this wonderful world with him.

The life of a modern woman is diverse and eventful. To become self-confident and achieve success, it is enough to believe in yourself, in your strengths, and start acting.

The successes achieved will increase your self-esteem, build self-confidence - and inspire new achievements. After all, you really deserve it!

Video on how to change your life for the better, become more confident and more successful

Psychologists' advice: How to become more self-confident:

How to love yourself and increase your self-esteem:

How to become more attractive:

Self-esteem is below the plinth, friends do not appreciate, husband does not love ?! Find out how to get rid of complexes, regain your confidence and self-esteem!

Low self-esteem, without exaggeration, can be called the eighth deadly sin for any person, and especially for a woman. Ladies who constantly doubt themselves cannot a priori be happy, and therefore do not fulfill their direct mission - to give joy of life to everyone around them.

Where there is no certainty, complexes run the show, instantly putting an end to any undertakings.

As a rule, an insecure woman cannot find a decent job, make good friends or meet a decent man, and if nothing is changed, she will forever remain on the “bench”.

Why don't we love ourselves

Low self-esteem never appears on its own, the main reasons for its occurrence are:

• childhood spent with insufficiently loving, often criticizing or constantly conflicting parents;
• school time full of grievances and blunders, which created in the child false ideas about his capabilities, advantages and disadvantages;
• regular failures that persecute an adult for a long period of time and undermine his self-confidence.

Signs of low self-esteem

1. Aggressiveness and persistent desire to dominate... Oddly enough, but the fairer sex, using the slightest opportunity to demonstrate their superiority to others and happily humiliating everyone who allows them, are often the most notorious creatures on earth.
2. Excessive shyness and constant embarrassment... Unlike their aggressive friends in misfortune, timid women cannot resist the offenders, dominate over someone and are completely unable to defend their rights. They are characterized by unquestioning execution of any requests and orders, even if they run counter to their own interests.
3. Perfectionist tendency. Folk wisdom it is not for nothing that it says that everything should have a measure. An uncontrollable striving for perfection in all forms, which is simply impossible to achieve, is hallmark low self-esteem and often leads to depression, nervous breakdowns and all-consuming hatred.
4. Jealousy and possessiveness... Ladies are deeply mistaken who believe that these feelings indicate a violent temperament and heightened emotionality. In fact, the desire to completely dispose of a loved one, carefully monitoring his every step, stems from extreme self-doubt.
5. Frequent attempts to evoke feelings of pity... Insecure persons, mired in worries about their own worthlessness, try to attract the attention of others at "every corner" by telling the tragic circumstances of their lives. Unfortunately, these tactics often lead to the opposite result - people begin to avoid them even more.
6. Failure to make decisions... Women with low self-esteem always try to shift the responsibility for their actions onto someone else. To independently make a decision for them is like death, and they start discussing any problem with the question: what would you do in my place ?!

What is the need to work on yourself

Asking the question, why do I, in fact, have high self-esteem, first of all, I need to get rid of the illusions that allow notorious people not to notice the wretchedness of their own lives. The most powerful incentives to start working on yourself are the desire to get out of the shadows and find your place under the sun.

A confident woman rarely suffers from unrequited love, easily outstrips rivals in the struggle for a high-paying position and even knows how to turn his failures to his advantage.

Instead of whining and looking for someone to blame, she carefully analyzes the situation, draws the right conclusions and embarks on a new day with a clear intention to achieve complete victory where she was defeated yesterday.

How to boost a woman's self-esteem

Improving a woman's self-esteem is not an easy task, especially if self-doubt accompanies her for many years.

Wanting to achieve the desired result by all means, it is necessary to understand that thoughts are material, to radically change the way of thinking and take on board the following tips:

1. Always watch your posture... The unforgettable secretary Vera from the movie "Office Romance" was absolutely right when she said that the correct gait is the key to success. Crouching and leaning over, only the notorious persons waddle, and confident women swim around the world with their heads held high and their backs straight.
2. Smile as often as possible... At the same time, it is not enough just to part your lips in a violent welcoming grin, a smile should come from the depths of your soul and be absolutely sincere. Only then will she bring the necessary fruits - she will soften those around her and make them want to get to know the owner of a cheerful disposition as closely as possible.
3. Take care of your appearance... No amount of self-esteem training will help a woman who considers herself ugly. Fortunately, in the modern world, for the benefit of the fair sex, there are numerous beauty salons that can significantly improve their natural characteristics.
4. Update your wardrobe regularly... New things, as, indeed, the very process of acquiring them, quite often provoke an increase in self-esteem for the most high level... In addition, a smartly dressed lady attracts much more attention from the male population of the planet than a modest mouse dressed in a washed sweater.
5. Find hobbies... People who are open to everything new are much better at coping with low self-esteem, because as they acquire additional knowledge, they begin to believe in themselves more. At the same time, you can do anything: yoga, painting, landscape design, studying foreign languages, knitting, rock climbing - the list is almost endless.
6. Eliminate the wrong people from your social circle... Notorious women have few real friends, but false girlfriends often hover around them, from time to time arranging an "energy feast" for themselves. How to deal with them ?! Chasing the same broom to the very threshold and even further, because as long as such personalities are guarding your self-esteem, it is not possible to raise it.
7. Give up unnecessary responsibilities... Helping relatives and friends in solving their problems to the best of their ability is wonderful, but only as long as the person does not begin to act to the detriment of himself. When you feel like you're not coping with the stress, learn to say no and not blame yourself for it.

Forget the past by forgiving your parents

If the cause of low self-esteem is in childhood, the easiest way to end it is to understand the causes of parental negativity and show understanding.

Mom and Dad were young, it is quite possible that they did not know how to raise a child, and therefore showed excessive severity. Whatever it was, but this is a thing of the past and, in order to move on with ease through life, it must be carefully done away with.

Learn to accept yourself for who you are.

Long legs, luxurious hair, or a large bust cannot do happy woman suffering from all kinds of complexes. Having corrected one "flaw" she will immediately find in herself a hundred others.

The only way to get out of vicious circle- understand that happiness is not free application to a flawless appearance, which means that you need to look for the problem in something else.

Never compare yourself to anyone

In this vast world there are and always will be people who are much more fortunate in something: they are smarter, richer, luckier or more beautiful. However, comparing yourself to them is the most pointless exercise you can find.

Instead of wasting precious time on it, it is better to engage in self-improvement and rejoice every day, even if insignificant, but YOUR successes.

Strive to fulfill your dreams

Women, who have long been drowned in their own complexes, do not believe that their life's dream will ever come true. And they are 100% right! While they sit on the sofa, groaning about the vicissitudes of fate, she will certainly float away into someone else's, less "busy" hands.

The only way to prevent this is to start the difficult path to achieving the desired goal, in spite of everything and in spite of everything.

Drive negative thoughts away

Some of the fairer sex, timid and insecure, tend to indulge in negative thoughts for a long time, literally reveling in the hopelessness emanating from them.

This behavior most often leads to sad consequences, because our life is what we think about it. The only way to solve the problem is by tune in to a positive mood and by appropriately changing your thinking.

Dear women, the path of self-love can be long, winding and very difficult, but retreating, you lose hope of ever knowing how wonderful it is to be a truly self-sufficient person!

Video: How a woman can raise her self-esteem